Like A Silent Cry In Dark Night
by MyMerryMen
Summary: What if the demons of your past don't let you be? What if they rule your life? This is a story about friendship and love, about courage, the will to face your past and a lethal conspiracy. Contains Angst, dark matters, mystery and smut. Bobby/Rodríguez/OC-pairing. It's an adult story with a polyamorous relationship HEA - don't read if you are underage or easily offended.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

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**Prologue**

Ranger's POV

_What a night,_ I thought as I entered my apartment on ten after I'd parted from Bobby and Rodríguez. Tank, Lester and I were sitting in my office going over outstanding bonds when Bobby called and asked us to come upstairs to his apartment. I was immediately hit by a bad feeling. I had met Agony and Revenge earlier that afternoon and asked them where they'd found Rodríguez; they just looked at me and remained silent. I didn't expect the Inferna Angelus to show me obedience like I expected it from my men but the way they behaved it was obvious that they kept quiet about something. When Tank, Lester and I entered Bobby's apartment on eight and saw likewise confused and wary Cal, Ram and Woody already sitting in the living room, we knew for sure that this wasn't a work related meeting.

With the lifestyle I led and the missions I did I couldn't afford private entanglements but if I was to name my friends, there would be only four people coming to my mind – Tank, Lester, Bobby and Rodríguez. I remember his burial. His family was devastated, we all were. It felt as if a part of our souls had died. We called him Hot-Rod back then; he and Lester were the jokesters and ladies' men of our group. Nobody could charm the pants of any given woman like the two of them and god, did they use their talent to the fullest. By the life of me I couldn't count the angry women the rest of us had to deflect to save their sorry asses. And every time they simply showed us their impish grins, their eyes already set on the next chick.

Seeing Rodríguez's casket vanishing into the ground we all knew that nothing would be the same ever again. The Trenton branch didn't exist back then so when we got back to Miami we picked up work but we felt empty, Bobby especially. He was fighting to keep functioning but everybody could see how forlorn and weary of life he was.

_Flashback_

_I had watched Bobby the whole morning via the security cams. After the morning meeting he went to his cubicle where months' worth of paperwork was piling up but nothing happened. He just sat there, staring ahead, his eyes unseeing. _

_It had been three months since Rodríguez's burial. After we came back I had put him on desk duty and we – the core team – decided to give him time to deal with his grief on his own but it wasn't working. Instead of getting better he more and more slipped away into depressiveness. _

_"You and Santos, my office." I said after dialing Tank's extension._

_"What's up, boss?" Tank asked after he and Lester came in._

_"Bobby." Both their faces darkened. They were worried about their friend. We were all grieving but Bobby was spiraling out of control. "When was the last time he talked to one of you?"_

_"I went over to his apartment with pizza four days ago but he sent me away." Lester said quietly. "I thought about breaking in but we had said we won't force us on him."_

_Training my eyes on Tank he said dejected "Eight days ago when I tried to take him with me on an easy surveillance. He refrained."_

_"This has to stop. I watched him over the morning. He isn't functioning anymore. I don't care that he isn't working but I do care that he has isolated himself from us to a point where I'm worried about severe depressions. Have you noticed how much weight he has lost? My guess is about 30 lbs. I want to call Jack to come over and assess him. Any objections?"_

_"No, cuz; I'm all for it," said Lester. "Perhaps he can give us some advice how to deal with Bobby. I feel so fucking helpless."_

_After they left I made my way over to Bobby's cubicle where he still sat staring at the wall in front of him._

_"Hey man." I said softly, not wanting to spook him. When he looked up and his eyes focused on me, I planted myself on his desk and looked at him for a minute. "Bobby, this has to stop. I'm worried – Tank and Les are worried. I suspect that you are suffering a major depression. When I get back to my office, I will call Jack and ask him to come over and talk to you. I expect you to be cooperative and accept any help that he is offering to you. I know you are grieving and that is ok; moving on will take time. But you aren't functioning anymore and I can't accept that – not as your boss, but as your friend." Looking into his eyes, searching for any kind of affirmation, all that greeted me was emptiness. Calling Jack was the right thing to do, we probably waited far too long. I laid my hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "We are your friends; we are all here for you, man." And with that I left to make the phone call._

_End of flashback_

Jack, an Army veteran and our in-house psychologist, came over the same day, put Bobby on some mild anti-depressants and arranged regular therapy sessions.

When Bobby got a call four months later that Rodríguez was alive and brought to Ramstein AFB in Germany, we couldn't believe it. We all – the core team plus Woody, Cal and Ram – immediately flew over there to see it for ourselves, to bring our friend home. Little did we know what was awaiting us. When Bobby came back from the ICU, his brown skin looked ashen and his eyes were red and swollen. That should have told me that it was bad but my mind didn't want to listen. When he listed Rodríguez's injuries and all the surgeries and skin graftings he would have to endure over the next year and a half, all I could think about was that his life as he knew it was over, that he would never be the same again. But when he told us about the rapes and resulting anal damage – I'm no touchy person but at that moment I knew what I had to do. I drew Bobby into a hug and held him tight while he cried, trying to convey some of my strength to him. It were times like that that draw us closer together and let us readjust our priorities in life.

Six weeks later Rodríguez was stable enough to be brought back stateside and taken to Walter Reed Hospital in Washington. They had stopped the artificial coma a week prior but he was so traumatized, had retreated so far back into his mind, that nothing or nobody seemed to get through to him. When he wasn't asleep, he just laid in his bed, starring unseeingly at the ceiling. The only person he reacted to was Bobby; first just to his touch but in the course of the following months also to his words. Bobby put all his energy in getting his friend out of his mental prison but Rodríguez never spoke, just moved his eyes or blinked as only means of communication. We – Tank, Les, Woody, Cal, Ram and I - visited weekly, tried to show him our support but he never even acknowledged our presence.

Six months later, after the main surgeries were done and his body was healing far better than anybody had ever expected, the doctors advised us to transfer him to a mental institution.

_Flashback_

_"Mr. Manoso, Bobby," Dr. Krawell nodded to us as we entered his office. "Thank you for coming on such a short notice." He leaned back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You know I like to get straight to the point so I won't make much unnecessary words. We can't help Captain Rodríguez any more than we have and truth be told I doubt anybody can help him where he is."_

_"What do you mean?" Bobby stiffened._

_"I mean that he is totally unresponsive to any of our efforts to help his mind deal with its trauma."_

_"That's not true. He's responding to me – and more so than in the beginning." Bobby said defensively._

_I laid my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "What does that mean, Dr. Krawell?" I tried to sound neutral but I felt the anger hot in my veins._

_"It means, Mr. Manoso, that there are a lot of soldiers coming back from combat zones or captivity that are traumatized and need our help but our resources are limited. As sad as it is, but if a patient is as unresponsive as Cpt. Rodríguez, he has to make room for someone we can help more."_

_"You're kicking him out?" Bobby shot out of his seat, his voice loud and angry. "Thank you very much for serving your country but since you are too damaged…" Before he could say or do anything stupid I had him in a vice grip, constricting his breathing to get his attention._

_"Calm down, man. You don't help Rod by attacking his doctor." I said lowly into his ear._

_"Listen Bobby," Dr. Krawell spoke up again, his voice calm and compassionate. "I know you are angry with me and feel helpless and broken-hearted but sometimes a trauma is so severe that it can push somebody so far back into his mind that we can't reach him anymore. Captain Rodríguez's case is the hardest I've ever had to deal with; none of us has an idea what he's been through. You know that several psychologists specialized in PTSD have tried to work with him over the months but he not once responded to their efforts. At some point we have to stop and accept what we can't change. We already kept him longer than anybody else." _

_"What do you recommend, Doctor?" I know my face was blank, my voice calm and unattached but inside all I wanted to do was scream. That was it? A handshake, some consoling words, and we had to accept that our friend – though alive – would never come back to us?_

_"There are VA Medical Centers out there that specialize in the care of veterans with PTSD, MST(*) or as the case may be SMI(**). You come from Trenton, New Jersey right? The East Orange Campus of the VA New Jersey Health Care System enjoys a very good reputation for their treatment of PTSD plus there is a Military Sexual Trauma Counselor at the Newark Vet Center. Captain Rodríguez would get the 24/7 care he needs and you could visit him there. My secretary can give you the addresses."_

_No – there had to be other possibilities. "Thank you Doctor. I'd like to check them out. Is it possible that Cpt. Rodríguez could stay until we found the right place for him?"_

_"Two weeks max, Mr. Manoso."_

_"Sir." And with that I dragged a frozen Bobby out of the doctor's office, down the hall and into the luckily empty small waiting room for relatives. "Attention!" I commanded in a harsh voice. Bobby immediately snapped out of his funk. "Listen, Brown. Just because the doctors give up on Rodríguez doesn't mean that we give up, too. I call Tank – he'll get Les, Woody, Cal and Ram moving. They will research every possibility we have and then we will pick the best. We won't give up until every stone is turned, every possibility tried. Understood?"_

_"Yes, sir." Bobby answered, still in a daze._

_"Good. Now go back to him; he needs you at his side. I think Ella smuggled some sugary contraband in that care package I brought; Ram told her what a sucker for sweets Rod is."_

_I watched Bobby moving down the hall to the elevators. As soon as he vanished in one of them my fist connected with the wall next to me, giving way for my frustration._

_End of Flashback_

We started our search for a VA Vet Center that hopefully could help him but any place we visited felt wrong to us. They were all doing great work, no question, but we wanted a place that wouldn't accept the status quo but put all their effort in getting Rodríguez well again. Ram finally found the perfect institute. It was a private mental institution named Cedar Creek, beautifully situated between the soft hills of Kentucky. They specialized in victims of domestic abuse and rape who didn't respond to conventional therapy but had no experience with traumatized soldiers. Cal on the other hand had continuously kept in touch with Jack. When we told Jack about Cedar Creek he immediately thought it was a good idea. The institution was famous for their individual approach and success. It didn't take much to convince him to move to Kentucky for an indefinite time and work with Rodríguez and the institute's specialists – all costs paid by Rangeman of course. Thus a few days later Rodríguez was transferred to Cedar Creek and brought into a beautiful spacious room with cheerful colors, plants and flowers that would be his home for an open-ended future. The nurses assigned to him were all amiable, gentle and caring. Though he didn't acknowledge them, they introduced themselves each time their shifts began, told him about their day so far and treated him as a self-dependent adult. At the end of the third day we got an email from Bobby that everything was fine and he thought we'd made the right decision by bringing Rodríguez there.

From the day we arrived at Ramstein and he saw him in the ICU for the first time, Bobby had stayed at Rodríguez's side. He had taken a leave of absence the day he got that call all those months ago and now also moved to Kentucky to be close to his partner. A small security company offered him to work half days so he could spend the other half of the day either with Rodríguez or relaxing from the immense emotional stress he was under. I doubt they were aware about what a catch Bobby was. He and Rodríguez had been a couple for a bit more than two years when he was declared dead. At the beginning every one of us was shocked since none of them had ever shown any homosexual tendencies but soon we saw how good they were for each other and we were happy for them. They didn't advertise their relationship but they also didn't hide it and those who were observant could easily see their shared stolen moments. Rodríguez had founded Rangeman with us which made him a partner together with Tank, Lester and Bobby. He still had his contract with the Navy and was in the wind a lot but whenever he was at home Bobby and he were all smiles and inseparable. I couldn't even start to imagine what all this would mean for their relationship. How do you deal with it when your partner, the person you love and planed a future with, was tortured and raped and is so traumatized and withdrawn that he no longer takes an active part in his life? No longer talks to you? Irrespective of the fact that you thought he was dead, buried him, then have to learn that he's alive, just to realize that while his body is back with you, his mind is captivated in the past.

A month after his transfer to Cedar Creek Rodríguez blurted out his first word. The nurse had brought him his dinner and she and Bobby kept him company when he took his first bite, spitted it out and sounded a loud and clear 'Yuck!'. I doubt there'd ever been two people so happy by that exclamation. It started with just a few single words but he actively reacted to his surroundings and each small progress was celebrated as victory. In the beginning the only persons he interacted with were Bobby and his in-house therapist but soon he accepted Jack's efforts, too. The interaction with the other patients however was difficult for him; he preferred to be alone. After three months Tank, Lester, Woody, Cal, Ram and I got an invitation to visit him. It was a handmade picture-card with a photography of the scenery surrounding the institute encircled by an intricate hand drawn tribal pattern. As we learned later Rodríguez had made it himself as part of his therapy. Of course we jumped at the chance and gladly went but seeing him there, showing us his accomplishments in the workshop, was a hard pill to swallow. He once was the most lethal and sufficient operator the government had ever had and now ... he was a shadow of that man, proudly showing us his wood and pottery work, telling us about him and Bobby going for trail rides and visiting museums. When we drove home that night, the mood in the two SUVs was depressed. Jack had intercepted us before we left and explained a bit of what was going on with Rodríguez and how we could rate the day's events but nevertheless it was hard not to think of him as disturbed. Looking back, I had to admit that we came to Cedar Creek anticipating to finally see our friend again but the man in front of us wasn't the man we said goodbye to a year ago before he left for his mission. It wouldn't change a thing about our friendship or that we would take care of him once he hopefully was recovered enough to leave Cedar Creek but we all had to adjust to the fact that the Rodríguez we knew would probably never come back.

All that time his Muerte persona – the devil incarnate that made him to the unique operator he was - had never again made an appearance. Rodríguez's memory about his military past was fragmentary at best; he remembered his Basic and SEAL training but after that it became fuzzy. From the moment he entered DEVGRU and became La Muerte everything was black; no memories, total detachment. In the presence of Jack and his in-house therapist Bobby told him about his other persona and soon he started to hate that Muerte and all the death and destruction he had brought. Never did he want to go back to being that person ever again. I know that for some time the psychologists feared a split personality but since there were no other signs for Muerte but what Bobby told them they soon dismissed that fear. Six months after his transfer to Cedar Creek he moved out of his room in the institute's building into one of the supervised residential groups that were scattered over the compound. At first he had a relapse and withdraw from everybody but he recovered quickly and after four more months he moved into an own apartment outside the institute's compound near Bobby's place.

The day they came home was one sole party for us – it was one year and nine months after Bobby got the call that Rodríguez was alive. For one day we forgot about work and celebrated the return of our friend and brother in arms but things didn't go from there as we had hoped. Many things had changed. Five months after Rodríguez's death the core team together with Cal, Ram and Woody had started the Trenton branch to get some distance to Miami and all its memories and give Bobby the chance for a new start. Since the therapists thought that it would be best when Rodríguez would be surrounded by his friends, he and Bobby didn't go back to Miami but came to Trenton instead. There were a lot of foreign men he didn't know and though he never showed it I'm sure they intimidated him.

The downward spiral started when he and Bobby had to search for an own apartment outside the Rangeman building because he couldn't stand being continuously surrounded by all the men. Five months later he announced to the core team that he wanted to sell his partnership. He didn't want that responsibility anymore but instead asked to have a simple desk job as an employee.

_Flashback_

_The five of us were sitting in my office. I had my fingers steepled in front of my chin and was watching Rodríguez. What was going on with him? He'd been doing fine the last time we visited him at Cedar Creek but since he came back he had more and more retreated. He was moody and had a quick temper; it was so not him – neither Rodríguez, nor Muerte. Maybe that was the problem. As much as they tried to prepare him at Cedar Creek to stand on his own feet again, it was still in a safe environment. Now he was out in the real world, in his old life, and had to proof himself. What if he couldn't deal with that, if it was too much stress for him? _

_"Man, you can't mean that!" Lester's irritated voice brought me out of my mental ramblings._

_Rodríguez leveled a glare at him. "I can and I do and I don't give shit whether you like it or not."_

_"Fuck you! You don't have to tell me that you don't give fucking shit about how I feel. I know that." Lester bit back. "Perhaps you should think a bit before you drive off the last remaining friends you have, you fucker."_

_"SANTOS!" Tank barked._

_"WHAT? It's true and you know it. He doesn't give shit about me? Well, then it is my good right to not give any shit about him. Let him sell his fucking partnership, I don't care, we are better off without him." With that Lester stalked out of the room. He didn't mean what he said but the changes in his friend scared him and he didn't know how to handle them._

_"Rodríguez, that is a big decision." I said calmly. "This partnership will always provide for you so you won't need to worry about your finances. If you sell it, that emergency parachute is gone. Do you really want that? If you don't want to be involved in the day to day business we can find another solution – a silent partnership for example. Think about it."_

_"There's no need to think about it; the decision is made. I expect you to have the paperwork ready in a month so there's no need to hurry – and I would be thankful if you would offer me some kind of desk work so I have a monthly income; something simple like doing searches, planning take downs or so."_

_With that Rodríguez stood up and left the room, leaving Tank, Bobby and me behind._

_End of flashback_

After he'd been at his new job for a few months he asked to only work at night so he wouldn't have to interact with any of the other men. When Bobby and he announced their breakup one and a half years after they'd come back and six years and five months after they first fell in love with each other we were all sad for them. I especially felt miserable. They were both my friends and I knew they loved each other deeply but obviously the damage done to Rodríguez was too much for him to overcome. Bobby moved back into the Haywood building while Rodríguez kept the apartment and isolated himself even more from everybody.

Now within the course of 24 hours he - or better his Muerte persona - attacked Bobby, the only person who still meant something to him. Then he tried to commit suicide, just to turn 180 degree, no longer wanting to die but instead build a new life with all our help. I felt like I had a whiplash. I had met soldiers suffering depression throughout my life and I knew how deep they could fall after a manic phase – we all had to be observant in case the suicidal thoughts returned. Standing under the shower I let the warm water take care of the tension in my shoulders while my thoughts kept returning to the woman of the Inferna Angelus. She was present at all those three incidents; kept Muerte from killing Bobby, kept Rodríguez from killing himself and made him realize that his life is worth living and he needs his friends. I didn't believe in magic but something about this woman was outside the norm. How could she have such an influence on Rodríguez and get him out of his funk? Even more important how could she have such an influence on Muerte that he willingly obeyed her wishes? The day I heard the first story about La Muerte, he became my standard to meet; his abilities, his quiet manner, his severe discipline, his far-sightedness, his way to command, simply everything about him intrigued me. I wanted to become as good as him but never fully achieved that goal. Muerte was unstoppable, unswayable, or so I thought until today, until a tiny scarred woman proofed me wrong. Wrapping a towel around my hips I made my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Though she didn't give any such thing away, I'm sure she knows more about what's going on with Rodríguez than she's letting on. The question is why's she holding back? Why did she become all protective when I wanted to question him? Making my way back to the bedroom my thoughts kept jumping back to earlier this evening at Bobby's apartment. Something was nagging at my subconscious mind. I couldn't put my finger on it but something must have happened that my subconsciousness registered and can't pigeon-hole. Hopefully it will come to me 'cause otherwise I'll need to have a one-on-one with Miss Terror about what the fuck is going on. I didn't believe Rodríguez when he said something about the upcoming mission was wrong. If it turns out he was right and Muerte's resurrection was caused deliberately to affect this mission – I don't even want to think about it. If that is the case everything will go to hell in a handbasket. Fast.

* MST = Military Sexual Trauma

** SMI = Serious Mental Illness

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**A/N: Whooohoooooo ... I just did it. I uploaded my first story/chapter EVER :-)**

**If you want me to stop doing a happy dance and upload the next chapter, just tell me.**


	2. Chapter 2 Rodríguez

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

**_A/N: I know the next chapters are angsty and dark but you have to know Rodríguez background to understand the later developments. Please be my guest for Chapter 2 - 5. After this upload there'll be a little break but then we'll jump right into the action._**

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**Chapter 2 – Rodríguez**

The first rays of sunlight were slowly creeping over the horizon, glittering in the windows facing eastward, immersing everything in a soft golden light. The night was rendering the world over to the day, keeping its grip just a little while longer before retreating, patiently waiting for a new night. It was the end of March. Spring had finally arrived in Trenton, New Jersey but the nights were still cold, leaving a chill behind in the morning – this brisk Sunday morning especially.

Rodríguez let his eyes roam down Haywood, always vigilant, cataloging every parked car, its model and color, every entrance, checking the windows for movements behind blinders or curtains. Always be prepared, never feel safe; feeling safe gets you killed. He looked down at his watch. Normally this was the time he went home from work but not today. Oh no. Today the big boss had ordered them to an extracurricular meeting. Fuck the boss. He should have ignored Ranger's order and gone home. The anger welling up in him burned hot in his veins. For four years, since the day he became 'alive' at Cedar Creek, he'd felt nothing but numbness and indifference towards others but a few weeks ago that changed; the indifference suddenly became hostility. Rodríguez took a deep breath to calm down. The cool air was causing a perceptible ache in his chest, reminder of the pneumonia he had had last winter. If he concentrated, he could faintly smell the spring in the air. He closed his eyes and let his mind reach out, searching for threats the bare eye can't perceive. Breathing even deeper, his nostrils flaring, he thought of home, the place he grew up, the place his parents and siblings were still living. Home – it had been over six years since he'd last been home and the knowledge that he'd never go there again made the pain in his chest almost unbearable. The spring at home was the most beautiful in the world. Nature was exploding all around you in a sea of colors and smells. You couldn't help but be happy at home.

His hand went to his chest, trying to lighten the pain that spread out from there. Happiness; another one of those things that had died in him. He missed it. Happiness, contentment, the warmth and security of home – the list of things he'd lost was getting longer and longer but soon it would be over. Soon his final curtain would fall, the music softly die; no more pain, no more anguish, just an eternity of peace. Feeling the ache constricting his breathing, and the telltale prick of tears that wanted to fall, Rodríguez forced himself to open his eyes and look back down Haywood. The magical moment was over; the rays of sunlight stronger, getting warmer. Focusing on the task ahead, he fell back into an easy jog and made his way toward the office.

The office was Rangeman LLC – a security company specialized in security installations for business as well as private properties, bounty hunting and contract work for the government. Founded eight years ago by five friends with visions and the persistency to follow them through, Rangeman now had branches in Boston, Miami and Trenton. The company was small in comparison but exquisite and could choose what clients and assignments they accepted. For the many alphabet groups in Washington they were regularly first choice for their missions. Heart of Rangeman was the core team consisting of four out of the five original founders – Ricardo Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, the face of the company and heading the law enforcement department; Pierre 'Tank' LeCroix, second in command; Lester Santos, head of the security and bond enforcement department; and Bobby Brown, the in-house medic, all operating out of the Trenton branch.

The closer Rodríguez came to the red brick building the more he could feel the vibrations running through his body. The anger was still coursing hot as liquid lava through his veins but those vibrations were about more than just his anger. Everything was screaming danger at him – the building, the employees, Ranger, but most of all the mission Ranger accepted. Why was he feeling this menace lately? Keeping his breathing slow and even, he listened to the rhythmic sounds of his steps on the pavement while he watched the approximating building. It was perfect, absolutely unsuspicious from the outside. Ten floors plus two official underground levels, gated with a top notch rolling gate. In addition there was a secret third underground level that didn't appear on the building plans, holding everything the public didn't need to know about. There was a simple but beautifully landscaped green in front of the main entrance and on a brass plate next to the entrance door the simple word Rangeman LLC was engraved. Nothing was overdone, nothing drawing attention. Nobody would think that one of the world's best security companies had taken residence here.

Just when he was about to run past the entrance to the underground garage, a shiny black navigator stopped its progress to let him pass by. Rodríguez didn't nod or otherwise acknowledged the two men in the Navigator. No need to exchange pleasantries; he wasn't interested in any kind of personal contact with his co-workers. Six years back that had been different. He was DEVGRU, skyrocketing in the ranks. Everyone respected him, the enemy feared him, his friends liked him, and his love adored him. But that was then. That was before he became a wreckage, a mangled mess, damaged beyond recognition. Today he was a loner, searching isolation, not interested in the company of others. For all he cared they could vanish from the face of earth, he wouldn't miss them. Though, that wasn't entirely true. Bobby had to stay. He was the one who gave him a feeling of – well, if not peace than at least acceptance. That's why he was searching Bobby's closeness lately. For him he was holding on by a threat. If he'd be gone, there'd be no reason to delay his death any longer. Entering through the main entrance door, he made his way straight to the gym on two. The anger in him, the feeling of menace pulsing through him was getting stronger by the minute. He needed to get in a few rounds with the punching back prior the meeting or he couldn't promise not to kill someone – accidentally.


	3. Chapter 3 The Fight

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

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**Chapter 3 – The Fight**

- Two hours later -

The Haywood building, so nondescript to the outside world, was trembling with nervousness, holding its breath in anticipation of what to come. The atmosphere in the gym was tense; the hushed murmur of the men spreading the anxiety that had constantly increased over the last few days. The core team had been wound tight like coiled springs. Everybody had learned about the fight between Rodríguez and Ranger a couple weeks ago. Something was wrong.

_Flashback two weeks ago_

_The core team including Rodríguez was meeting in Ranger's office and the shouting could be heard through the closed door. Zero and Junior were on monitor duty and turned their heads in direction of Ranger's office._

_"What the fuck?" mouthed Junior. _

_Zero just shrugged but kept his eyes on the door when he answered, "Rodríguez has been a real bastard lately." _

_That earned him a snort from Junior. "Tell me when he's not. It's beyond me why Ranger and the others are keeping him around. That man is a pain in the ass."_

_"I heard that he's friends with Ranger. Maybe it's some pity job. Though – the work he's doing is good. His searches are thorough, his take down plans are the best and the government contracts that he's negotiating for us are always in our favor." _

_"Doesn't matter to me," Junior said darkly. "He's getting special treatment and I can't stand that. None of us could get away with that shit. If it was you or me, we'd be out on our ass."_

_"Hey, Junior, did a bug get up and die in your ass? Any more moody and I'll have to call you Rodríguez," came Zip's voice as he entered the control room. Nobody liked Rodríguez; he was moody, had a quick temper, isolated himself from everybody and often enough he behaved like an ass towards his colleagues. Some of the older staff knew him from before he appeared in Trenton but they kept silent. Everything around his persona seemed to be a secret and some men were pissed off by the liberties conceded to him._

_Ranger flew through the door landing hard on the floor while Rodríguez charged after him; Tank and Lester close on their heels. At the noise Zip, Zero and Junior ran out of the control room, other men emerged from the on-duty cubicles and break room, none of them had ever seen Rodríguez like that – so totally out of control. Of course they saw him at the punching bags and doing the mandatory self-defense training and he was good at that but otherwise he was a simple desk jockey – never on a take down or stakeout. And here he was, his heavily scarred face was contorted, his eyes coal black with rage, flashing hatred and there were coming almost animalistic guttural sounds deep out of his throat. The moment Ranger hit the floor he was already back on his feet ready for the next attack but nothing could withstand the force with which Rodríguez landed punch after punch, kick after kick. When Tank and Lester weren't able to get a hold of Rodríguez, Bobby shouted for someone to get his medic bag even the last of the surrounding men became aware of the severity of the situation. Ram, Cal and Hal hurried over and tried to help but without success. Ranger was unconscious on the floor, Lester went down next, followed by Cal and then Ram. The surrounding men stared at the destruction unfolding in front of them and paled. When Zip returned with the medic bag, Bobby extracted a preloaded tranquillizer gun, took aim and shot. The moment the dart hit his leg, Rodríguez quit fighting. He straightened up to his full 6'5" height and ever so slowly turned around. Everybody held their breath as he menacingly advanced toward Bobby; death written all over his face. _

_"I'm sorry my friend but there was no other way. Don't fight it. Just let it happen. I promise I have your back. I won't let anything happen to you." Bobby spoke soothingly to Rodríguez, whose movement decelerated with every step until he was right before him. The look of pain and betrayal in his friend's eyes broke Bobby's heart. _

_"I'm so sorry but I had no choice. You would have killed them," he said._

_Rodríguez took a shuddering breath, his eyes already unfocused, his body unable to resist the fast-acting tranquillizer._

_"Don't fight it. I'm here, man. I won't let anyone near you. No one. I promise."_

_Rodríguez's whole frame began to shake. Bobby took a step closer, opened his arms and when he saw that there was no fight left in his friend, he pulled him in a tight embrace. The moment their bodies connected Rodríguez's legs gave way and he sunk unconsciously in Bobby's arms._

_"It's ok, man. I have your back. We are family, remember? Always and forever." Bobby whispered before he gently laid him on the floor._

_Looking around he tried to get an outline of the damage. Ranger, Lester, Cal, Ram, Woody and Hal were on the floor but sitting. Tank, Zero, Junior and Snake were moving around or leaning against walls sporting limps, bruises and split lips. They all looked like they'd seen a ghost. Bobby looked down at the unconscious form of his friend and gently brushed a strand of hair out of his face. _

_"Damn, Muerte. I thought you were gone for good." He turned his head to Zip. "Take a look at those on the floor first, then those standing. You know enough to take care of the minor injuries. Everything else has to be treated at the ER." _

_"What are you doing?" asked Zip._

_"I'm staying with him. I promised." Bobby answered looking back down at Rodríguez. After a moment he lifted Rodríguez over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and under the shocked looks of the surrounding men made his way to his apartment on eight. _

_End of flashback _

That was two weeks ago and now they were here, 52 men, the complete bond and law enforcement staff, assembled in the gym, called for an announcement by Ranger but so far none of the core team had made an appearance and the digital clock over the entrance stoically moved forwards undeterred by the increasing tautness.


	4. Chapter 4 New Ways

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

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**Chapter 4 – New Ways**

Twenty minutes later the entrance door opened and Ranger, along with Tank and Lester entered the gym, their faces grim. The murmur immediately stopped. They made their way over to the sparring ring, jumped up and turned to their audience just as the door opened a second time and Bobby and Rodríguez entered; the tension rolling of them tangible. They came over to take position behind the three men already up in the ring. Everybody held their breath when Ranger turned and locked eyes with Rodríguez, the air around them charged with electricity. Eventually Rodríguez stepped to the front and stood next to Ranger.

"Men," Ranger's deep voice sounded through the gym. "a month ago Washington contacted me with a request for a mission. After some negotiations we reached an agreement and said mission will start in about six months. The reason I'm telling you this is firstly this mission will occupy the complete law enforcement department hence there'll be a risky shortage of manpower for the bond enforcement work. I expect every one of you to be absolutely honest about your workload. If it turns out that the amount of work isn't manageable for the remaining rest of you we will either bring in contract workers or reduce the number of FTAs we accept. We don't need any dead heroes, are we clear? Regardless whom it concerns, yourself or one of your team, any signs of excessive labor you report to Lester or me. Period."

Ranger let his gaze wander over his men, making sure everybody understood the seriousness of his demand. The bond and law enforcement departments were closely working together. While the bond enforcement department consisted of thirty former servicemen who worked solely for Rangemen, the law enforcement department employed twenty five men who got periodically enlisted by the government as mercenaries. That made fifty five men who worked in three shifts to bring in outstanding FTAs or answer to security emergencies. Right now eight of his law enforcement employees were deployed for black ops, four more would follow within the next month. The remaining thirteen plus seven men from Miami and Boston would train for the upcoming mission. That meant Lester as head of the bond enforcement department would need to handle the accumulating workload with just fifty percent of the normal workforce. They would see how that turned out.

"Secondly," Ranger continued, "for the first time in Rangeman LLC's history a mission this company is contracted for won't be conducted solely by Rangeman employees but instead will be a combined effort of Rangeman operators as well as operators of the Inferna Angelus Syndicate." Ranger paused and let the weight of his words sink in. The moment he mentioned Inferna Angelus there were several audible gasps. He knew that at least some of his men, if not all, were aware about the syndicate and their work. A few even applied to work for them but didn't pass their rigorous physical and mental screening test.

"Is everybody aware of what the Inferna Angelus Syndicate is?" he asked looking around the gym at the faces of his men. "For those who haven't heard about them before: Inferna Angelus is a non-governmental group specialized in hostage rescue. That comprises the extraction and rescue of civilians as well as governmental assets. When an asset is MIA and it is of value to our government, they usually send in Special Forces to get them out. Often enough that isn't an option, either for political reasons or because an extraction is deemed unfeasible. That's where the Inferna Angelus, short IA, come into play. They go in where nobody else would – not even us."

In the stillness of the gym you could have heard a pin drop. Ranger glanced at Rodríguez who took over, his deep velvety baritone easily making its way through the tension in the gym.

"As said, the Inferna Angelus Syndicate specializes in captive and hostage rescue and when that isn't possible anymore, extracting and bringing home the dead bodies. They go global and currently have six teams in full operating mode. Two more are training with potential new members. Each team usually consists of six members. They all are former Special Forces – no civilians, no women with one exception. Most of the missions they take the government wouldn't even consider. They know the risks are high, too high, but they do it anyway – they live to go against the odds. They operate by their own rules and take no commands."

Rodríguez stopped. When it became clear that he wouldn't say any more, Ranger spoke up again.

"In a few days Rangeman Trenton will welcome one of those teams and will house them for the next several months until the mission is accomplished. I expect everyone to regard them with the respect they deserve."

"The team that is joining us consists of seven instead the usual six members." Rodríguez said in a cold voice, all former velvet gone. "The seventh being the only woman ever allowed into the syndicate. She is the team's second in command and probably the best tracker and reconnaissance specialist there is in the world. If anyone of you steps out of line and makes her uncomfortable while she is our guest, he will have to answer me." His glare sent chills through the assembled men. Nobody really liked him but before the fight he'd never been perceived as a threat. Now they knew better.

One more time Ranger let his eyes wander across his men, making sure he had their full attention.

"The Inferna Angelus saved my life more than once and Rodríguez here was about to become a member of them a few years back."

Rodríguez's head shot up, his eyes flashing anger, betrayal, and loathing.

_Why the fuck is he blabbing this?_ he angrily thought. _Hasn't he done enough damage? _

Concentrating on his breathing he tried to calm down but the wrath and loathing were like tentacles. Powerless he had to feel them working their way through his body and mind, clawing at him, trying to bring him down. Behind him he could feel Bobby's presence. He knew if Bobby saw his face, Bobby would know just how close he was to losing his tenuous grip on his control.

_Fuck. Calm down, man._ His jaw ached from the force he was grinding his teeth with. The muscles in his arm were straining from exertion. Rolling his neck he tried to find his happy thought. _Think of your family, your little baby sister. You can do that. Come on, man. Focus._ But all he could think about was getting his hands around Ranger's neck for displaying his well hidden past like laundry hanging on the line.

Desperately clenching and unclenching his fists to keep them from attacking the man at his side, his head started to pound. He was losing it, he could feel it. It was the same feeling like that day he attacked Ranger – his vision fuzzy at the edges, the fucking trembling that rolled up and down his back, the coldness and numbness that were spreading in him as his other persona started to take possession of him. Then the shaking began and his vision got a red tint.

_Shit Shit Shit – Bobby – please – HELP ME_ he screamed in his mind.

Unaware of Rodríguez's internal battle Ranger provocatively met his glare straight on, the tension between them so charged that the slightest spark could have ignited an explosion. Behind Rodríguez Bobby tensed. He had long seen first the trembling, then the shaking, and he knew his friend was fighting to keep his sanity, to not attack Ranger.

"For those who want to change their ways," Ranger continued, turning his focus back to his men. "leave the force and go private sector, it is the biggest honor to be chosen to become a part of Inferna Angelus and we can feel honored to have one of their teams here for the next six months. There's a lot we can learn from each other. Dismissed." Jumping down from the ring he made his way straight for the exit followed by Tank and Lester.

Nobody dared to look at Rodríguez, let alone approach him. None of them wanted a repeat of the command floor incident. When he and Bobby finally left the gym, it was like the building took a deep breath and relaxed.


	5. Chapter 5 Bobby's POV

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Bobby's POV**

I was waiting for the elevator with Rodríguez looking at him closely. The shaking had stopped, his face was relaxed and devoid of any emotions, his posture neutral, his breathing calm and even, his hands hanging loose at his sides. Nobody would think that on the inside this man was like a tightly coiled spring, fighting to attack the next person he could get his hands on even if it was me. But he was, oh yes, and minutes before when Ranger revealed one of Rodríguez's best kept secrets I thought he would snap … again. I could see him shaking, retreating into his mind, trying to avoid the explosion. Fucking mission. Ranger should never have accepted it. Muerte's training extended anything known in the Special Forces but what made him unconquerable were his almost psychic abilities. When Rodríguez said something was wrong, that this mission was a setup, Ranger should have listened. He may not be able to remember his Muerte persona or training but that didn't mean his abilities were lost, too. They were still in him, perhaps a little out of practice, and right now they were firing with all guns blazing. Ranger is a close friend, a brother in arms, we've all been on some fucked up missions and lived to tell about it. When he became my CO, I swore unconditional loyalty to him but right now he's putting my loyalty to the test. Now we won't just send our men in their sure death but the whole situation also triggered something in Rodríguez so that La Muerte came back alive. I can't even begin to imagine the hell he's living in right now. For god's sake, he couldn't remember his alter ego. How must it feel to suddenly be ruled by another personality. Fuck. Before I could control it my fist connected with the wall in front of me, making the stucco fly in all directions. Rodríguez looked up and watched me closely.

"It's ok, man. You did everything you could."

"No, I didn't. I should have intervened more forcefully. I should have prevented this shit." I let my head hang. "I can live with the men going on a suicide mission 'cause they will know the risk and it'll be their own decision to go or not to go. But what I can't live with is seeing Muerte back, seeing you suffering from the demons that are resurfacing in you."

I looked back up at him and what I saw shocked me to the core. A single tear was running down his right cheek speaking of all the emotional pain he was in. On reflex I put my hand around his neck, squeezed gently and with the other hand wiped away the evidence of his despair.

"The nightmares?" I asked, not needing any more words for him to understand what I wanted to know. He looked away from me, pressing his lips together, fighting back the tears that threatened to follow the first one. Without thinking about it I drew him into a tight hug and caressed his neck trying to convey some of my strength to him.

"We vanquished him once, we will do it again, amigo! The two of us together! You are not alone; I'll be right next to you every step of the way, like last time!" I pledged to my best friend, holding his eyes and giving him a small smile.

For six and a half wonderful years we'd been lovers and partners but it wasn't meant to last. Thankfully our friendship survived the breakup and had grown stronger ever since. So even though we weren't sharing a bed anymore – at least in a sexual way – we were family for each other and always would be. Rubén Angel Rodríguez, 39 years old, bred in Las Cruces New Mexico, raised in Paradise Valley Montana touched something deep in my heart that no other had ever touched before nor probably ever will.

For the last two weeks wherever we showed up, I could feel the men's eyes on Rubén, assessing the danger he could mean to them. I admired him for the way he was dealing with that. Just very few Rangemen were aware that he'd once been DEVGRU, the naval counterpart to the Army's Delta Force. Nor did the majority knew that he was one of Rangeman's founders. For all they knew he was a desk jockey only working at night, an isolated loner always in a piss poor mood. None of them had ever seen the monster living inside him. La Muerte – The Death – the deadliest, most cold-blooded operator the government ever produced. When they became aware of his abilities, he was trained to a point where all the evil congregated in one persona – La Muerte. The rest of him, the real Rodríguez, laid back, fun loving, gentle and compassionate, vanished far away in the background. The longer Muerte ruled over the years, the more difficult it became for Rodríguez to resurface between missions. When Lester, Tank, Ranger and I met at Basic and decided to apply for Ranger school, La Muerte was already a legend. He was a SEAL before he became DEVGRU, his name whispered with awe and the stories around his persona … I didn't believe them until I saw with my own eyes how enemies gave away information, surrendered themselves at the mere mention of his name. Everybody feared La Muerte because he was the death and nobody survived a meeting with him.

I didn't know who exactly trained his Muerte persona, logically he never talked about it, but I always had a feeling it was a grouping outside the Navy or any other official branch. Fact is that over the years his DEVGRU deployments became far and few and he was more and more deployed by the SAD - a division of the CIA's National Clandestine Service that was responsible for Covert Action and what they called Special Activities. Anyway, whatever grouping eventually trained him, they fucked with his head big time and then one day he became a liability. When he decided not to renew his contract with the Navy but to switch over to Inferna Angelus, they did what they thought needed to be done. They sent him out on a mission, taking care that his chance for survival was nil. Ultimately the risk of him talking had to be eliminated. Nobody could ever know about what he had done on their orders, about the mistake they had done by training him to the point they had. At least that was the opinion obtained by Ranger, Tank, Lester and me.

When we first got together and realized how serious this was for us, we exchanged powers of attorney and became listed as next of kin, just in case. He made me swear that if anything ever was to happen to him, I would be the one to break the news to his parents, but only after there was a final outcome. So when the government informed me about his death, I plucked up my courage and went on my way to them. The grief and devastation of that day will be forever burned into my soul.

_Flashback_

_It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was warm, the flowers bursting out everywhere and the air was filled to the brim with the smells of spring. I had taken a flight from Miami to Billings where a rental SUV was waiting for me. I remember the numbness I felt on the drive to his parent's ranch and seeing the awakening, colorful nature all around me made the tears run down my face in rivulets. This was so wrong. Nobody dies in spring. Spring is the season of birth and rising. They must have made a mistake. He must be alive. You don't die in spring. Autumn is the time for people to die. When I turned from the Highway onto the mile long driveway the tears started to fall in earnest. _

Oh my god. How do I tell Mom and Pop?_ was the only thing I could think of. _

_His parents were wonderful people. When he held my hand two years and three months ago, told them about our relationship and then gave me a lovingly peck, they didn't bat an eye. We stood in their kitchen and his dad asked me what my intentions with his son were. "I plan to love him for the rest of my life, if he lets me, sir." I told him full of conviction. He just smiled and said "Good answer, son." and drew me in a tight hug. From that moment on I was to call them Mom and Pop and we spent every holiday with them and Rubén's nine siblings. Climbing out of the car they appeared on the porch. There were no words needed. When they saw my tear streaked face and the devastated look in my eyes, they knew that their son, their amigo, our amigo, was dead. _

_Never again would he visit them. _

_Never again lifting them a foot high in the air, when he hugs them. _

_Never again smiling this goddamned crooked smile, when he managed to steal sweets right in front of your nose. _

_Never again would I get to rub his back while he pukes because of too much banana bread pudding. _

_I managed to make my way over to them and into Pop's open arms before I broke down. "Why is he doing that to me, Pop? It's not fair. We had plans for the future. We wanted to adopt a child. How can he leave me behind? He promised to come home. How am I supposed to go on without him?" I sobbed uncontrollably. _

_End of flashback_

Coming back to the present I watched him as he entered the elevator. He'd been adopted as were all his siblings. With ten children of differing mostly violent backgrounds, his adoptive parents made sure that each knew it was truly loved. They taught their kids the importance of family, honesty, sincerity and most of all how it feels to be loved, how to embrace love and how to give it to others. I envied him for that experience but once we were together he shared his family and their affection without holding back. He had more and more withdrawn from them over the years mostly due to his personality changes but they loved him deeply nonetheless. To bury him without even having a body to mourn broke them. Nobody could know that he would be found seven months later by mere chance by a team of the Inferna Angelus Syndicate.

I took a deep breath trying to get rid of the pictures that were bubbling to the surface of my memory. His body – I'd seen a lot in my years as combat medic. I would say I'd seen hell and lived to tell about it. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared me for what I saw when I first entered the ICU on Ramstein AFB in Germany.

_Flashback_

_I had followed the nurse into the ICU. We were heading for a glassy unit people kept going in and coming out. They all looked grim. Is that where he was? The moment my eyes caught their first look at him through the glass windows I froze. My feet stopped, my breathing stopped, my heart stopped, my life stopped. His body, once incarnate poetry, a symbol of beauty and power, was unrecognizable. There were oodles of monitors and machines around him. Wires and tubes connected to the few patches of skin that were not covered in gauze. I felt a hand on my arm. The nurse had returned to where I had halted and was talking to me. I looked at her hand, trying to focus on her words but nothing penetrated the fog in my mind. After a while she wordlessly took my hand and finally we made it to the room where she pushed me into a chair next to Rubén's bed._

_"Talk to him," I finally heard her saying softly. "He might be in a coma but he can still hear you and feel your presence."_

_I looked at the man lying in the hospital bed in front of me – my amigo, my love. He was alive. I buried him; I accepted his death; I started to get better, to slowly move on and here he was lying in front of me – alive. The tears started to run down my face, more and more rapidly, until everything was a blur. Angrily I wiped them away. I needed to see him, needed to touch him. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find a part of him that wasn't damaged. I couldn't hold his hands, touch his face, or get near his neck. Every part of his skin was either covered in gauze or foil, his head heavily bandaged. A sudden hum pulled me out of my despair. He was strapped in some kind of apparatus that slowly lifted and turned him before lowering again._

_"We have to elevate the pressure on his skin and body. The machine is turning him every hour. That way we hope to improve his prognosis that – sadly – isn't good at the moment." A man in his mid-fifties said behind me, leaning against the door frame, his eyes trained on me. "By the way, my name is Dr. Turner and I'm one of the doctors taking care of your friend. Why don't we step out for a bit so we can talk in privacy?" _

_End of flashback_

The information the doctor shared were devastating. Rubén's skin was either carved or burned in so many places that plastic surgeons had to perform severe skin grafting to even start the healing process. The fact that the injuries were spread all around his body made it difficult to find enough skin for the necessary transplantations. Then there was the strain that was put on the injured sites by his body weight. The mass of stitches everywhere and even more the burns needed relief of the strain they were under when he laid on them – thus the apparatus that turned him regularly. And even with all the care he got and all those precautions the likelihood that his organs would shut down were by 80%.

When I listened to the doctor listing all the burns, the carving damage, the bones broken, the muscles and organs damaged, the surgeries and skin graftings that would have to be performed over the course of the next one a half years, IF he survived that is, I thought for a short moment that death would have been a blessing for the man I loved more than my own life. But what caused me to break down right there in front of the doctor was the news just how far his torturers had gone. It wasn't enough for them to torture him, to break his bones, to carve, burn, brand, flog him, to pull his nails and teeth … they raped him – brutally – many a time; the anal damage so severe that it had to be surgically repaired.

My first thought after I got the call that he was found and brought to Ramstein was to call his parents to give them the happy news. But then I remembered my promise to wait for a final outcome so I didn't. After I arrived at the hospital in Germany I was glad I hadn't called. God, by no means should they have seen him like that. I waited for him to get better and tell them himself but two years later, after he was recovered and we had returned to Rangeman, he still wasn't in touch with them.

_Flashback_

_"Come on, hon. You have to tell them. It broke them to lose you." _

_We were laying spooned in our bed and I was nuzzling his neck, enjoying the mingled smell of sweat and sex that I had put there the night before. Our lovemaking had drastically changed, become more sweet and tender but I didn't miss the wild times. It was perfect, he was perfect; every day I loved him more than the day before. I started kissing his shoulder, slowly working my way to his neck. At the junction I sucked in the tender flesh, soothing the remaining sting with my tongue. Nuzzling my way up his neck I whispered in his ear._

_"We simply fly over next weekend and I talk to them. I'll tell them what happened while you wait in the car and when they are ready you can join us. They will be so happy." I gently suckled on the tip of his ear._

_"No."_

_I laid my head in the crook of his neck._

_"Why not? You are recovered, doing well, claiming back your life … give them their happiness back, Honey. I'm sure Mom will give you free reign over any banana bread pudding for the rest of your life." I said with a smile in my voice, trying to lighten the mood, elevating the tension I could feel building in him._

_"No." _

_"Why not?"_

_He jumped out of the bed and turned to me, buck naked, his deep honey colored body peppered with my love bites. How I loved to do that to him, to claim him as mine but even more so to show him that he was loved._

_"Look at me! Are you fucking blind?" his voice rising with every word. "I'm NOT recovered, NOT doing well and I sure as hell am NOT claiming any-fucking-thing back. My body is a mangled mess, I look like a fucking patchwork quilt and I can't go a week without seeing some fucking shrink. I won't do this to them. I won't confront them with the wreckage I've become. They are better off when they think I'm dead."_

_"But they won't see that. All they will see is the son they lost and now by some miracle got back. Think about coming home to them, Baby, shooting the shit with your sibs. Think about all the love, comfort and warmth that will envelop you there. Don't you want that?" I had sat up and now stood in front of him. He had his eyes averted so I cupped his face and forced him to look at me._

_"Honey, I know you don't feel that way but you ARE recovered and you ARE doing well. And if you don't want to claim back your old life, we will build a new one for you. You can do anything in the world; I will always be at your side cheering you on. And if you don't feel comfortable here in Trenton, then we can move – to your parents for example. We can build our own home on the ranch or close by. You love horses and the work on the ranch. I can find work there or we build our own business. Mom and Pop will have a fit when they have us so close."_

_Tenderly I brushed my lips across his, kissed him, nuzzled his nose. "I love you, Baby. The world is ours. We can do anything we want." I knew this wasn't the time for another round of lovemaking so I kissed him one more time before I drew him into a tender embrace drawing soothing circles on his back. He was right, he wasn't recovered and probably never would be and he wasn't doing well but we couldn't focus on that. The doctors had repeatedly emphasized how important it was to get him out of those negative spirals and concentrate on the positive things so I sure as hell wasn't going to let him dwell. _

_End of flashback _

I took a shuddering breath. We've come a long way since those dark days and even though our relationship didn't survive, we were the best friends imaginable, family, and if we had to start the whole process of therapy again, so be it.

Exiting on the fourth floor we found our way to Ranger's office and entered without another word spoken.


	6. Chapter 6 Nightly Arrival

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

_**A/N: I know I said there'd be a little break but I need to do some research for my next chapter and I so did not feel like it today. Well, my sorrow, your gain - here come the next two chapters.**_

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Nightly Arrival**

A week after the meeting in the gym, Woody and Snake, one of the new guys, had the graveyard shift in front of the monitors. The night was pitch black and stormy and it was raining cats and dogs. Three teams were out in the field looking for a skip whose bond expired but otherwise it was quiet. Rodríguez made a point of coming up early in the shift to let the control room know where he would be when the Inferna Angelus team arrived. Woody and Snake were more concerned with the arrival of the woman who was rumored to be a feast for the eyes than the teams in the field who needed support.

"Damn, I didn't think I'd ever say this but I'm glad I'm on monitor shift instead of wading through that shit out there." Snake said with a frown watching the downpour visible in some of the clients' surveillance cameras. Woody just smiled. He liked the kid. Tough as nails when need be but also fun to have around.

"Just wait till the boss sends you to Hutchinson in Seattle. When I was there last time we had rain 24/7 and most of the job was outside. Damn. I was so fucking rain-drenched I thought I'd never get dry again."

"That's the pharmaceutical company, right?"

"Yeah, small company but they do a lot of charity work. That's why Ranger's supporting them. Securing their compound is a pain, though."

At 0300 hours, three black Escalades turned on Haywood and stopped right in front of the gates. The phone rang and Snake answered.

"Rangeman Control, this is Snake speaking … Yes, sir. I'll open the gates. Take the three spaces to the right and Rodríguez will come down to pick you up." He disconnected and looked at Woody, a smile starting to spread across his face. "Let the fun begin." he said.

"Well, kiddo, since you think this will be fun, you can call Rodríguez and tell him our visitors arrived." Woody answered and laughed when Snake instantly paled. Since that fight a few weeks ago everyone was afraid of Rodríguez and avoided him like the plague. Not that most of the men liked him much to begin with which was a shame. Rodríguez had once been one of the greatest guys he knew, a close friend, but he never recovered after he was captivated and tortured. Nobody knew what exactly happened to him as his unconscious mind was blocking any memory but one thing was sure: Rodríguez had not just repeatedly mastered Level C SERE training and PDAHS courses (*) – his experiences and input continuously improved those trainings and helped thousands of servicemen and –women to survive. He'd been repeatedly captivated in the course of his time of service and never sustained any lasting damage. To affect him to the point where he couldn't function anymore ... Woody stopped that train of thought and instead focused on the monitors in front of him. After Rodríguez's burial he had talked to Jack several times to deal with the loss of his friend. Then after Rod came to Trenton but isolated himself more and more, it was like losing his friend all over again. Woody didn't care whether it made him a pussy, when he felt the depressiveness that had a lock on him after Rod's burial come back, he again asked Jack for help and after the last weeks's events he thought about calling him again. He knew Ranger fully supported any kind of psychological assistance and didn't accept depreciative comments. Why else employed Rangeman an in-house psychologist who commuted between the three branches.

When Rodríguez stepped out of the elevator and approached the group of men unloading duffels from one of the Escalades, he automatically looked for the woman. There she stood between six more than lethal looking men, clad in pink camos and a white tight fitting hoodie, her wild curly hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. She looked like she was asleep; standing there with her eyes closed swaying lightly. He knew her; or better he knew the girl she was six years ago. Esmeralda Torres, 5'3" and 100 lbs latina beauty. She was one of his sparring partners when they were training him to join this exact team, right before that last mission that altered his whole life. Esme was twenty back then; that made her twenty-six now and damn if she hadn't filled out in all the right places in the past six years. He would need to be watchful that those idiots in the building didn't bug her. She was deaf-mute by trauma and being around her had reminded him of his deaf-mute baby sister. Suddenly the woman's eyes opened and Rodríguez was treated to the most amazing green eyes he'd ever seen in his whole life. They were of a bright limey yellowish green and around the pupils were dark red flecks like dancing flames. Normally he didn't give shit about outward appearances but those eyes drew him in. Her dark hazelnut colored skin made them stand out like spotlights and you couldn't help but be mesmerized by them. The moment Esme focused on him she smiled and the other men turned. Pain, their 6'7" leader, stepped forward, a smile spreading across his face.

"Rodríguez. Damn good to see you alive and crawling," he said smiling, doing a complicated handshake. "It's been way too long, man."

"Hey, Hot-Rod!" Furor, their medic, was next, giving him a big manly hug.

"Ugh, the medic who treats gaping head wounds with band aids. Get away from me," Rodríguez smiled.

"Come on, pussy. It really wasn't that bad."

Rodríguez raised one of his eyebrows. "Excuse me? I lost blood by the gallon." Damn, he missed being part of the team, their relaxed way and acceptance.

"Well, obviously you're still alive; must have had a good medic." Furor couldn't help but grin – for the last few weeks he'd looked forward to see Rodríguez and Bobby again. He'd kept loose contact with Bobby over the years and knew what was going on with Rod. It was time for him to leave the past behind and he, Furor, mighty medic, would help him with that. "How are you?"

"Seen better days." Rodríguez shrugged. When he was recovering after that FUBAR last mission, the IA and Esme visited him regularly – first at Walter Reed and later at the mental institution he was in – and saw firsthand what had been done to him; the scars and deformed tissue marring his face and body silent lifelong witnesses. Besides they knew his evil persona because Muerte once got them out of some bad shit when they were captured. With them he knew he could just be, they accepted him the way he was – no questions asked.

"You should have come and visit. We missed you over the years, our little angel especially."

"I know but after I felt a bit better and came here I was afraid what it would kick off to see you again, to confront myself with the past. I thought it would be better to have a fresh start and not risk anything … am I not the world's biggest chicken?" Rodríguez added with a little headshake.

"Nah, you are what – 6'5"? See, Pain is 6'7" so he's a bigger chicken then you," Furor said with a heartfelt smile and bump to Rodríguez's shoulder. "Besides now that we are here we have about six months to convince you to man up and get close to us again."

"How's Bobby?" Pain asked.

"He's fine. I'm not sure whether you know but we aren't a couple anymore – I tried but ... I don't know ... it was ... doesen't matter." Rodríguez spluttered. "We managed to stay best friends; he's the only person in my life who counts."

"Sounds like we have nothing to loose," Pain said with a good-natured smile, holding Rodríguez eyes. "You surely remember our angel here, right?" he hugged the woman to his side who in turn elbowed him in the gut grinning.

"How could I forget such a knock-over character? Hey there, little one." Rodríguez signed in ASL with a big smile on his face and earned himself a face splitting grin in return.

"Hey there, big one." She signed back and stepped right into his personal space. When she stood so close that she had to put her head in the neck to look up into his eyes, she grinned at him and signed. "How's the air up there? 'nuff oxygen? Lookin' a little weak, ol' man. Sure you can keep up with me?"

He worked hard to suppress his laughter. "Bring it on, Tiger."

Back when he was training with her, the two of them had been the team's source for uncounted hours of fun and laughing. Watching them sparring was a sight, what with their height difference of her 5'3" to his 6'5" and his 220 lbs to her 100 lbs. But she was a force of nature on the mats and fast as lightning. That small woman had managed to repeatedly knock him out when they were sparring  
together. A feat even the best male fighters hadn't managed before or after. She'd been his baby sister far from home; hanging out and shooting the shit with her had always put a smile on his face. And right now he could feel a taste of that ease spreading in him that always came with her and it felt good. He'd forgotten how good it felt. "Come on, let's go get you up to your apartments. I'm sure you can all do with some shut-eye."

"What about our trucks? Our weapons and other equipment are in them. They safe here?"

"Yeah. The gate can only be opened from the control room or via a remote only the employees have access to. Besides there are cameras all around the outside of the building, on its roof, as well as here in the garage, on every floor and in every room inside the building except for the bathrooms and private apartments. Secure the trucks and their contents will be safe."

Arriving on the seventh floor Rodríguez turned around and looked at the group in front of him. Simultaneously speaking and signing he said "We could just clear three apartments so I hope you can find a way to share the limited space. 7e has a king-size bed and sleepers couch, 7f and 7g have a queen-size and sleepers couch. Esme, tonight you have to stay with the guys but tomorrow I will introduce you to Ella. She's the housekeeper here and lives with her husband Luis on the ninth floor. I organized that you can stay with them in their guest room. They are both happy to have you with them – especially Ella since she's normally the only woman in the building. An informal meeting is set for 1100 hours. Come downstairs to the command floor on four and someone will show you to the conference room." With that Rodríguez handed over the key-cards, wished everyone a good night and left for Bobby's apartment on eight. Since Muerte's recurrence he'd felt safer staying at Bobby's even if that meant he had to stay within the office building.

"He seems to be nice," one of the Inferna Angelus said. From the team Rodríguez had trained with were just Pain, Furor and Esme left. The other four men didn't know him in person.

"He is a great guy or at least he was before his capture. I'm sure we can help him if he lets us," Pain said. "What do you think?" He asked the woman again tucked into his side.

"He smiles and lets everyone believe he's doing ok but he's in immense emotional pain and hating himself. I can feel the two warring personalities with Muerte trying to get the upper hand," she signed and after a pause added with a smile "it was nice to be called Esme for a change – it's been a long time."

Pain squeezed her shoulder. "Well, we all need some rest. Agony, Revenge, you will take the king-size with T. I'm sure most of the time she will want to sleep with you anyway," he added with a wink to the woman. "Furor, you stay with me in 4f. Rage and Vengeance, you take 4g." And with that they parted to get some much needed zzzz.

Nobody except Woody and Snake on the monitors saw Rodríguez enter the gym and beat the hell out of one of the punching bags before going upstairs to Bobby's apartment.

* SERE = Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape

** PDAHS = Peacetime Detention and Hostage Survival


	7. Chapter 7 Terror It Is

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Terror It Is**

When the Hell's Angels stepped out of the stairwell the next day, the command floor was buzzing with energy. Six men were sitting with headsets in front of a multitude of monitors in the control room and there was a bustle on the floor they weren't accustomed to. When Hal saw them standing there, taking in everything around them, he slowly approached them. He still couldn't believe his luck, that Ranger chose him to be their tour guide.

Today morning, he, Binkie, Zero and Junior had been sitting in the break room, breakfast and coffee in front of them.

_Flashback_

_"Have you heard what Snake said about the woman?" Binkie asked._

_"What?" Hal and Junior looked at him._

_"She's deaf-mute. Snake saw her signing in what looked like ASL to the rest of the team. And there are multiple scars running down her face and neck. Not what I imagined as feast for the eye."_

_"B, damn, how can you be so shallow? Just because she isn't looking like your average bar chick and has some scars doesn't mean she can't be beautiful." Hal said._

_"Yeah, man. Listen to your pal Mr. Hal. Since he never gets any chick at all, he would even find beauty in an old, gnarled, shriveled witch." Junior said in mock seriousness. _

_"How can she be deaf-mute? She's not just part of the team but their second in command. If she is deaf, how can she hear whether she's making a sound or communicate with her team when they are in the field. And the same for mute. She has to issue commands and it's hard signing them at a distance or when it's dark outside. Apart from that she has to get her team's attention first."_

_"Zero is right." Hal said. "There has to be another explanation for what Snake saw."_

_"And what could that be?" Binkie asked annoyed._

_"Maybe she wanted to have you sitting here cudgeling your brain how you could possibly ask her out on a date when she can't hear you." said Ram smiling from the doorway._

_The other men laughed._

_"That's right B. Perhaps you should ask Ranger for some days off so you can take an intensive online course – dating deaf-mutes for dummies!" Junior gasped between laughters._

_"Junior, mats. Tomorrow 0500 hours," came Ranger's ice-cold command. "Maybe that will teach you some respect." The men were silent, nobody daring to look at their boss and commander. "Hal, I want you to take care of our guests today. Show them around, answer their questions, help them when needed." With that he turned around and vanished as silently as he had appeared._

_"Fuck." Junior let his head hang._

_Ram walked over to him and bent so he was next to his ear. "Maybe, in future, you should think before you flap your gum; there's a difference between joking around and being disrespectful." And with a slap on Junior's shoulder he went in the direction of the cubicles._

_"Anyway," Binkie chimed in. "how can she be a part of Inferna Angelus at all? From what I learned they are the best of the best of the best. Hell, I'm not against women in the service but there's a reason they aren't allowed to Special Forces."_

_"Yeah. And what's that about Rodríguez training with them? I mean, hell, he's a desk jockey. I can't remember seeing him on a surveillance or takedown, ever. Had he even been in the service?"_

_At that moment Willow entered the break room. He was from Miami and ordered to Trenton especially for this mission._

_"Didn't you know that Rodríguez was DEVGRU?" He asked._

_Three speechless men just stared at him._

_"Rodríguez?" Junior asked skeptical._

_"Fucking A. And the best at that." Willow answered while he poured some coffee._

_"What happened?"_

_"Dunno. He went on a mission and never came back. Three months after he went in the wind we were noticed about his death. Had a funeral and all. Then 8 months later there were rumors he was alive but the core team didn't confirm it. They had just opened the Trenton office. Since Rodríguez never came back and Bobby together with the rest of the core team were also gone, we somehow forgot about it. This is the first time Ace and I saw him since he left all those years ago." Willow took a sip from his coffee and sat down._

_"Does that mean he's still in the service?"_

_"No. We asked Bobby after we arrived and he said Rodríguez was medically discharged."_

_"I heard rumors that Bobby and Rodríguez once were a couple." Hal said with a frown. He couldn't imagine either one in a homosexual relationship._

_"Yeah and I have to say though I'm really not into gay stuff Bobby and Rod – they were hot together. We had tons of fun back then."_

_Zero, Junior and Hal just stared at Willow dumbstruck. Rodríguez DEVGRU? Bobby gay? He and Rodríguez a couple? All three of them had started working at Rangeman before Bobby and Rodríguez separated but with them living outside the building, Rodríguez just working at night and preferring isolation, none of the three men had been aware of their relationship._

_"If he is gay, why the fuck was he so protective about that woman?" Junior wondered._

_"I guess Hal will find out!" said Zero, the three of them shooting scowls at Hal._

_"Wellwell, you didn't want to believe me but I knew that one day it would pay off to have the friendly boy-next-door look going." And with a swagger Hal left for the control room._

_End of flashback_

Of course everybody wanted to know how she looked and Snake was just too willing to show the camera feet from their arrival. There wasn't much to see since most of the time she was covered by one of her teammates but what glimpses you could get looked promising. Sure, there were some scars, several more precisely, but her facial features were even and her body curvaceous like an hourglass. Everybody was looking forward to having a woman besides Ella in the building and the bets were running high who would get to date her first. One thing was sure – she was the main topic of every conversation in the office and everybody was straining at the leash to get to know her.

As he passed the men in their cubicles someone threw a crumbled paper ball at him. Turning around Junior was mouthing at him 'She has a hot body. Get me more infos.' Shaking his head, Hal continued his way toward the stairwell where they were still standing. He didn't particularly like Junior and sure as hell wouldn't act as his pimp. The woman wore pink Flip-flops, black low-riding cargos, a tight fitted pink and red long-sleeved shirt that brought out her sensuous curves and a black bandana. The shirt said _I used to be schizophrenic but we are alright now_ on the front and most definitely diverted one's gaze from the scars marring her face. There were four altogether. A long distorted one that went from her forehead along the left side of her face down her neck before it vanished in her cleavage. Two scars started at the bridge of her nose and went in arcs over her right eyebrow. The fourth started just below the middle of her right lower eyelid, went to the eye's corner and from there zigzag-ed to her right ear. Two other scars were creeping out of the cleavage of her shirt up to her right shoulder and neck. But what absolutely mesmerized Hal were her eyes. Never before in his life had he seen such shining green eyes, even Lester's seemed dull in comparison, and he couldn't help but stare at her. She was so beautiful. Not because of physical aspects that – aside from the scars - were definitely there but because of those eyes and an almost magnetic presence that made you want to smile at her simply just because you can. And that was exactly what Hal did when he came to a halt in front of the group.

"Welcome to Rangeman. My name is Hal. Are you ready for the meeting or can I get you anything?"

Just when the last word had left his lips Caesar and Brett rushed by, each accompanied by four men, everyone fully decked out with flack vests and several weapons.

"Today we are doing bodyguard work and securing the backstage area of one of those pop starlets thus the additional men at the monitors. Normally that isn't the kind of work we do, too much attention when celebrities are involved." Hal offered.

"Nothing better than some spoilt, bitching and whining starlet, uh?" One of the men in front of him said with a grin. "By the way, my name is Furor. Nice to meet you, Hal."

"Same here – let's go and find the others. They're anxious to meet you, too."

When they entered the conference room on the second floor every man in the room besides Ranger turned his head and stood straight with military precision. Tank, Lester, Bobby, Rodríguez, Woody, Cal, Ram, Zip, Zero, Junior, Vince, Binkie, Snake, Sad and Ice from Trenton. Willow, Ace, Knock and Scar from Miami. Bull, Harvey and Scotch from Boston.

"Welcome to Rangeman," Ranger said, raising fluently out of his seat and waiting for the men and woman to approach him. "Please have a seat and I will make the introductions."

The team took their seats to Ranger's right and let their eyes wander over the men assembled in the room.

"The men you see here are 20 of my best operators who are still under government contract and thus available for this mission. They are all aware of the risk-assessment and volunteered to go with you. I understand that 12 men will be needed in the end so we will have to find a way to select those who will best fulfill the requirements." Ranger said before he continued to introduce each man separately giving a short summary over his background and main strengths.

"Ranger, first of all thank you very much for the warm welcome and it's good to see you again." Pain stood and said with a smile. They had gotten him out of some deep shit in the past and he respected the man for his skills, efficiency and strict moral code. Then he turned his attention to the men surrounding the conference table. "Before I start to introduce us I'd like to thank each one of you for the sacrifice you are willing to make, namely risking your life to safe others. I'm fully aware that you pledged to do so when you entered your corresponding service but to do so voluntarily, outside of any command chain, knowing the extreme level of danger is something else entirely. Whoever will come with us in the end, my team and I feel honored to make the acquaintance of each one of you."

The Rangemen were floored. Ranger as well as Tank were running a tight ship military style. Their commands were short, clear and to be followed immediately. Hearing those kind and accepting words out of the mouth of someone they knew must have been special forces himself stirred something in the men that made them puff their chests and look forward to the cooperation.

"Ok gentlemen. Here we go." Pain said with a crooked smile. "Generally we go wherever we are sent to but each team has a core continent. What you see in front of you is Inferna Angelus's South America team. When you enter the Inferna Angelus Syndicate, you not just give up your life as you've known it but you also give up your real name to avoid any link to the family you perhaps leave behind. The name you are given is chosen by your future teammates and mirrors an aspect of your being. Please accept that we won't share our real names with you. It is not a sign of disrespect or missing trust but a safety measure we all committed to."

"I know Ranger and Rodríguez told you about the work we do. What I want to ad is that, independent of the skills I will describe later on, each of us is a close-quarter-combat expert and has a set of unique abilities that contribute to the team's success. We won't always be able to explain why we do what we do but please feel welcome to ask whenever curiosity strikes you."

_Shit. What is this – coffee klatch? Stop spieling and introduce the piece of meat next to you,_ Junior thought.

"I go by the name Pain and I'm the designated leader of the pack to my right." He motioned to the woman and men next to him. "I spent my active time with Delta Force before I decided to go private sector. My specialties are strategizing and interrogations. To my right is Terror or just T. She is my second in command and specializes in tracking, reconnaissance, espionage and interrogations. She's also deaf-mute which will make this cooperation so much more interesting," he smiled. "Then comes Furor, former pararescue jumper and our main medic." Pain looked up and realized that nobody was listening since every man in the room still looked at Terror, most with curiosity, some with lust in their eyes.

"Gentlemen, just to be clear: Terror is part of my team and I expect you as well as everybody else in this building to treat her with the same respect you will treat the rest of us. If not, this mission will flatline before it even gets started." he said in a tone that left no doubt that nobody wanted to face the repercussions for mistreating the woman in front of them. After he met every single man with his eyes he continued.

"Furor also excels in reconnaissance together with Terror and strategizing. Next in line is Rage. He is a former Recon Marine, specialties are of course reconnaissance as well as espionage and he's also our defensive driving expert. Then comes Vengeance or short V. He's another former pararescue jumper and our second medic. V is our men and ladies's man and can get into any pants to extract secrets you didn't even know existed." Pain said with a grin right before V hit him with a paper clip. The Rangemen looked slightly confused at the banter in front of them. That was so not what they were used to.

"Last in line are Agony and Revenge." Pain motioned to the last two men. "They take a special position within the team since they are inseparably bound to Terror. Agony is a former Navy EOD, Rev a former SEAL, and their main – and the moment we enter hostile territory sole objective is to keep Terror unharmed 'cause she's our ticket in and out. During our stay here at Rangeman they will act as translators to facilitate your communication with T."

"Any questions so far?" Pain asked looking around the room but was met with silence. Questions they had many but none of them dared to ask them in the face of the boss.

"That's a lot to take in." Ranger spoke up. "We will call it a day for now and give you the chance to mill around and get to know everyone. Hal who brought you here will act as your guide and show you around. I suggest Rodríguez show you the training compound later on and if you want some of the men are planning a 20 miles cross-run leaving the office at about 1700 hours. We'll meet again tomorrow 0900 hours after the morning meeting to discuss the further procedure. Dismissed."

Seven single eyebrows simultaneously rose up at the commanding tone and looked at Ranger. Realizing what he had done he clarified "That was meant for my men." and with that left the room.

"Jeez." Terror signed. "Is he always commanding like that? Doesn't anybody ever put him in his place?"

Her fellow teammates burst out laughing causing every man in the room to look at them.

"That's what you are here for." Rodríguez signed back from the other side of the table. "But make sure I have a front row seat when it happens. I want to see the look on his face when he gets knocked out by you, Tiger" he added with a smile.

The Rangemen were looking at Rodríguez smiling and signing in ASL as if he'd grown two heads. None of them besides the core team knew that he had grown up with a deaf-mute sister and ASL was the main means of communication at home. When the main part of the other men had left the conference room Bobby stood up together with Rodríguez and they found their way around the table to the waiting Angels.

"Bobby, my man, how are you?" Furor asked all smiles and did a manly handshake. Pain came over, too, as well as Terror who remembered Rodríguez's former boyfriend as a very gentle and caring man. Together with Hal they started the tour through the building.

"OK ladies and gentlemen, I'd say we spare us the boring first floor. It just houses the reception desk, which is manned in turn by every employee, some storage rooms, and the polished smaller conference rooms that sport some minor gadgets to impress clients. The second floor however houses the Sales- and Accounting-department, this big conference room with all the works plus the gym and locker room – you want to start here?"

After saying hello to the sales and accounting guys and checking the gym on two, they went upstairs to three where the Security-, IT-, and Bond Enforcement Department resided. In the security area was a man sitting behind a desk in a room that looked like a bomb had exploded. Wires were welling out of storage racks and hanging from ropes fixed at the ceiling. The floor was peppered with electronic gadgets, some loose, some stored in boxes. Other boxes were laying around or were stacked on the desk that were filled to the brim with all kinds of screws, nuts, valves, throttles and gaskets.

"The Security Department is also responsible for the organization and repair of the parts needed for their installations." Hal tried to explain the chaos in front of them. "That over there is Hector. He's one of our security experts and in charge of the installations. I like him but he has a short fuse so best keep your distance until you can rate him a bit better. Besides he just speaks Spanish."

Terror watched the man with the gang tattoos and teardrops under his left eye while Hal talked to the others. When they left the room, she stayed behind, still looking at him. She knew he was aware of her standing there. After a minute she went over to his desk and sat down across from him. He was working on some circuit board, trying to connect two wires. His hands were agile, his fingers flexible but still too big for the job. After watching him struggle some more she took a pen and held out her hand. Raising an eyebrow at her outstretched arm, she took his hand in hers and wrote on his palm 'Let me help.'

"No inglés." He said offish and pulled his hand back.

She grabbed his hand again with a bit more force and wrote on his palm 'Cut the crap. I know you speak English.'

Hectors eyes went wide and nearly popped out of his head. Nobody dared to talk to him like that. And how the fuck did she know?

Terror held her hand out and he put the circuit board in it, watching her curious. With her small hands and delicate fingers she made quick work of the two wires and with a grin gave the board back to him. Scrutinizing her work a smile started to spread across his face. He turned in his seat, grabbed a box full of other boards and motioned for T to continue.

While T and Hector repaired the boards, the others checked in with the IT and Bond Enforcement guys. After Hal introduced everybody and the IA got an impression of the bond enforcement work they went on to the command floor on four. Hal explained them the control room and showed them the break room, small armory, on-duty cubicles, Ranger's, Tank's, and Lester's offices, the briefing room, and the communication room. Everyone welcomed them respectfully and Pain made arrangements with Ranger to bring their weapons and other equipment up into the armory. Five was the high clearance floor with the Tactics-, Communications-, and Law Enforcement Department as well as several meeting rooms. The only individuals that had access to this floor were the core team, Rodríguez and those who got contracted by the government. This would be their home for the next months and the Rangemen had already cleared four cubicles and added additional desks so that they would have enough room to work. The sixth and seventh floor held apartments for the bond and law enforcement guys and now for them, too, plus a game room and common kitchen. And then came the eighth floor that housed the infirmary, a handicapped accessible apartment and the core team's apartments aside from Ranger's, who lived on the tenth floor. The moment they entered the infirmary they lost Furor and V who jumped head on into a medical in-depth discussion with Bobby. That was how Hal, Pain, Rage, Agony and Revenge ended up in Ella's kitchen on nine, happily munching away on chocolate chip cookies. Cookies as any sweets were forbidden within the building but Ella had a heart for hardworking mercenaries and so every now and then the men found a reason to visit her on nine and she welcomed them with a knowing smile.

"Not sure whether the boss will like this," Hal mumbled while chewing. "I started this tour with nine people and just four were left on the ninth floor. That's," he stopped chewing to think about a matching word and after a short pause continued "not good. That's definitely not good," he shook his head and grabbed another cookie.

Ella laughed warmly and cupped his face in a motherly way. "I don't think these boys can be controlled in any way," she motioned to the Inferna Angelus who were vacuuming the cookie tin. "And a woman who cannot just be a part of them but command them – well, there's no need to feel bad about losing her," she smiled knowingly. "That reminds me" she turned to Pain "will she be staying with my husband and me tonight? We would love to have her with us. I'm sure she could use some downtime from all that testosterone downstairs."

"Sorry, Ella, I'm not sure. She's used to sleep in a puppy pile with those two goons over there," he motioned to Agony and Rev. "Normally being separated from them ends in a sleepless night for her."

"Well, tell her the offer is unlimited. Whenever she's ready, she's warmly welcome – any time, day and night." Ella knew everything that was going on within the confines of the building and right now the boys's minds were in the gutter. It would be just a matter of time till the girl would be fed up with all those roaming men fighting to date her. She and Luis would make sure she found some peace. They loved 'their boys' at Rangeman like sons but they also knew how lonesome many of them were and how overwhelming they could become once they set their eyes on something.

After Hal had collected Bobby, Furor, V and Rodríguez on eight, they found their way down to three. For a short time he worried what might have happened with Terror; that was until he entered Hector's office. A truckload of pages full of scribble beautified the chaos on the desk and floor and right in the middle were Hector and Terror doubled over laughing. Hal had never seen Hector laugh before; smile, yes but laugh? Never.

Turning around to her team, T already knew something was wrong; the feeling of imminence unfurling in the room like heavy fog over open water. Rodríguez was trembling with destructive energy; the warring two personas threatening to send him over the edge any moment.


	8. Chapter 8 Losing Control

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Losing Control**

_What the fuck's going on?_ Bobby thought watching Rodríguez standing in Hector's office. While they were showing their guests around, he had more and more withdrawn from the situation. Bobby could feel him retreating into his mind. _But why?_ he wondered.

"So how about some lunch Rod?" Furor asked, sensing Bobby's concern.

Rodríguez looked up at him, gave a short nod, turned around and without another word started for the door.

"Don't worry, man. I'll keep an eye on him." Furor told Bobby as he passed and clapped him on the shoulder.

The lunch break passed by pleasantly with the team shooting the shit and Rodríguez smiling and even contributing to the conversation here and there. After that they drove to the training compound Rangeman kept in a rural area south-east of Trenton. The IA had their own training facility back home but what spread out in front of them after they passed the gate took their breath away. Ten thousand hectare of rural area scattered with sheds and farmhouses; there were fields as well as soft green pasture, hills were alternating with level land, farther away a creek meandered through the compound and the steeply rising hills in the background were densely wooded. In the distance to their right was what looked like a little abandoned village with several streets and behind that, just barely distinguishable, two huge hangars. And that was just the visible area; the extent of training capabilities at the Rangeman compound could rival with the Special Forces training compounds at Fort Braggs or Quantico. The Inferna Angelus were in a daze and spent the next four hours exploring the possibilities and pestering Rodríguez with questions.

"I still can't believe it. This is truly amazing, Rod." Pain let his eyes wander across the soft hills in front of them. To his left he could see Terror cuddled up to Agony. A small smile spread across his face. The moment she saw the possibilities of the compound, her eyes got a dangerous gleam. For him and his team she was their little Angel but soon the Rangemen would curse the day she set foot into their lives. He knew what they thought; could read in their eyes how they were jockeying for position to get into her pants. Tomorrow they were in for a big surprise 'cause then they would be informed that Terror was the devil incarnate who would train them. Smiling even wider he turned his gaze back to Rodríguez and immediately froze.

"Rod? … Rod? You with us, man?" Rodríguez was standing a few feet away, shaking uncontrollably.

"Fuck. Furor." Within seconds the medic was at his side, trying to gauge the situation. T stepped around Pain, Furor and V and ever so slowly approached Rodríguez until she stood in front of him. "He's gone," she signed after a moment.

"What the fuck do you mean he's gone?"

Annoyed she looked at Pain and signed. "I mean that he isn't aware of us standing here gawking at him. There's a battle raging between him and Muerte and he's short of going over the edge. I already felt it when we left Haywood but it got better at lunch and as soon as we were here I forgot to keep tabs. Sorry."

"Can you calm him down?"

"No, he's too far gone. We have to wait for either him or Muerte to win."

"Fuck. Ok men, keep your distance. Aside from Furor and me none of you has seen Muerte in action and believe me, we want to keep it that way. V, prepare a tranquilizer dart. T, I want you out of his reach, now."

"Pain, I can knock him out, I've done it in the past."

Pain lost all his gentleness he normally reserved for her. "Esme, in the past you were sparring with Rodríguez. Muerte is Rodríguez tenfold plus he has some special abilities like you. Nobody can bring Muerte down – not even you. Now, get away from him." She didn't care about his commanding demeanor but the fact that he called her by her forename made her obey immediately. He was worried about her and she didn't want to distress him.

Some forty minutes later the shaking changed to a trembling and Rodríguez looked straight into the concerned eyes of Terror who was in front of him, a few feet away, watching him.

"Hey there, big one. You ok now?" She signed.

Nodding, he looked down at himself. He was kneeling on the ground, soaked in sweat, his arms tightly wrapped around his torso, fists clenched. As he relaxed his arms and forced his hands open there were bloody marks in his palms. A low whistle made him look up. T was still watching him.

"You clenched your fists so hard that your nails broke the skin of your palms," she signed. He looked down at his palms again. He couldn't remember doing that. And how the fuck did he turn up kneeling on the ground? Suddenly a small hand appeared in one of his palms. T had silently moved and was now crouching in front of him.

"Come on. Let's go. Bobby called while you were out. He wants to meet us at a place called Shorty's," her hands moved while a feeling of calm washed over him.

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing. Pain didn't want to worry him without knowing what was going on."

Rodríguez nodded and stood up. Just then he realized that the others were standing in a protective circle around him, shielding him from any outside dangers. The feeling of calm immediately changed to guilt. He had lied. He wasn't ok. He could feel Muerte taking over, gaining more and more control with each passing hour and it scared him. His head was pounding. It was terrifying enough to have a second person in him, he could hear his voice in his mind, talking to him, and it was driving him insane, but knowing that this person was a killer horrified him. He couldn't remember him and his atrocities but Bobby had told him everything about Muerte; how cold-hearted and remorseless he was. The thought that with Muerte in control he would become a killer, too, frightened him. They say split personalities can't remember each other's actions – well, he could, thank you very much. When Muerte attacked Ranger he, Rodríguez, was part of every second of the assault. He fought to get back in control but Muerte was so much stronger. It felt like looking through his eyes, feeling his hatred, doing every move, every punch, every kick with him – unable to prevent any of it. Muerte forced him to attack one of his former friends. When he woke from that tranquilizer shot Bobby gave him, he felt violated.

The moment the team entered Shorty's, Bobby saw right away that something was wrong, majorly wrong. Rodríguez's posture was tense, his fists back to clenching and unclenching, his whole body exuding danger. When he directly excused himself to the bathroom, Bobby turned to Furor.

"What the fuck happened?"

"I don't know man. When we had lunch I thought he was doing fine. Smiling here and there and even saying some things. The longer we were at the compound the more he started to withdraw. We tried to keep him with us, asked question after question which he answered dutifully but you could tell that he was more and more retreating into his shell. And then he was gone, no longer responsive for more than forty minutes. What's going on Bobby? Pain and I are worried …"

"I have no fucking clue." Bobby said rubbing his head after taking his seat. "As I told you he did good at Cedar Creek but when we came back here three years ago he couldn't cope. We had to search for an apartment outside the office because he couldn't stand being continuously surrounded by the other men and he changed to working at night doing solely deskwork on five so he didn't have to interact with anybody more than necessary. I tried to keep him with me, I truly tried. Made sure he ate regularly, that he worked out and continued his therapy but he hated himself so much." Bobby put his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the table. "The more I pushed, the more I felt him withdraw from me. In the end after one and a half years we were both miserable. I, because I felt so fucking helpless watching him suffer not able to help. He, because he hated himself so much that he couldn't understand why I loved him in the first place, and because he couldn't love me back, he hated himself even more - it was a vicious circle. So we sat down and talked and decided to call it quits and safe our friendship. He never got in closer contact with Ranger, Tank, Les, Cal, Ram or Woody though they really tried but at least we became closer again. Six months ago Ranger could convince him to take over the contract negotiations for the law enforcement employees which forced him out of his shell. He had to meet with Ranger regularly and leave the office to meet the suits in DC. And for the previous two months we became closer again; hanging out with each other, doing horseback riding etc. It seemed the negotiation work was a confidence booster and he was getting better. I thought that maybe we could find our way back into a relationship. Then, about three weeks ago when Ranger accepted this mission, he suddenly snapped and attacked him. Eventually I had to tranquilize him because nobody was able to bring him down. It was the day Muerte came back.

"Wait – does that mean that all those years since that capture Muerte hadn't once shown up?" Pain asked.

Bobby nodded. "Correct. You know about his memory loss, right? He still has all those abilities that made him to such a unique operator but he can't link them to any events in the past. He remembers Basic, his short time as SEAL is already fragmentary – individual pictures without much context – but his whole DEVGRU past is gone. He can't remember ever being La Muerte and was shocked when I told him about his other persona. I tried to explain to him that he did a lot of good as Muerte but he could just see the killer in him. When he finally started to get better, he despised everything that had to do with Muerte. It wasn't even possible to say the name aloud without him getting a fit of temper. He didn't want to accept that he'd been that person."

"I remember that." Furor interrupted. "Grief and I tried to talk to him about what happened, whether he wanted to try to come back to us once he was recovered enough. He totally snapped when it came to his Muerte persona."

"After the attack on Ranger he said he had felt it coming, had felt a tremble running up and down his spine, then a shaking, and a coldness and numbness spreading through his body. Not remembering Muerte, he didn't understand what was happening, thought he was suddenly coming down with something."

Furor and Pain looked at each other. The shaking at the compound. It was exactly like Terror had told them – Muerte tried to take over and Rodríguez was fighting him back.

"That day he moved back in with me and stayed close 24/7. Seeing what he had done, what he or better Muerte was capable of doing, shocked him to the core. He doesn't trust himself anymore. Fears to snap again and accidentally kill someone but he never told me why this mission stressed him so much to begin with. I hoped seeing you guys would help him but apparently..."

Terror's head shot up and she shot out of her seat locking eyes with Furor who paled and looked at Bobby.

"Muerte…"

That was all the incentive Bobby needed. Calling to Furor to get his medic pack he raced to the bathrooms and shot through the door. It felt like standing amidst a battleground. There in the middle of the room between demolished basins and water shooting out of open water pipes in the wall stood Rodríguez – just that he wasn't Rodríguez anymore. The eyes coal black and filled with hatred, the scarred face contorted, Muerte was watching Bobby's every move, assessing him, his posture fierce, his muscles coiled tight, ready to attack. When Bobby made a step in his direction he started to growl menacingly.

"It's allright, man. It's me, Bobby, you recognize me, right?" he said softly. "You know I'm no threat to you; that I would never hurt you."

Without leaving Muertes's eyes Bobby took a step backwards, giving his friend room, and started speaking in his soothing medic voice. "Whoever is behind me – go to Shorty and tell him to turn off the main water pipe. Make sure nobody else comes back here."

"Copy that," came V's quiet reply and Bobby heard him vanish down the hall.

"Anything we can do to help?" Rage asked softly from behind.

"No. Stay back. He's acting purely on instinct now. I'm not even sure he realizes who I am. If he feels cornered or otherwise threatened, he will attack and none of us will survive that." Bobby said calmly never taking his eyes away from Muerte. "Is Furor back, yet?"

"I see him coming down the hall."

"Keep him outside."

"Bobby, I have your medic bag with me," he heard Furor's equally soothing voice. Somehow you seem to learn that as a medic.

"Good. Take the tranquilizer gun out of the bag. I will step backwards now and hold my hand behind my back. Put the gun in my hand, it's already loaded and ready." Bobby said quietly and slowly stepped backwards. When he felt the presence of the other men behind him he held out his hand and felt the weight of the gun being transferred into it.

Muertes cold black eyes had followed Bobby's retreat, a continuing growl emanating from deep within his throat. The instant he saw Bobby reaching behind him, everything happened at once. A bloodcurdling roar could be heard and the next moment Bobby was flying through the air like a doll hitting the opposite wall hard before crumbling to the floor. The Inferna Angelus froze. Muerte stood right in front of them, watching them, assessing them, growling menacingly, waiting for their next move. Behind him Bobby laid unconscious in the water on the floor, blood oozing from a wound somewhere at his head.

After a minute Muerte started to move backwards, bringing himself in a position from where he could watch both the men at the entrance and Bobby. When his eyes darted to the unconscious, bloody body on the floor, something flickered through them. Recognition? Suddenly the growl coming from him changed to a heart wrenching sound of pain and he fell to his knees right into the water that had accumulated there.

"What the fuck … T!" Agony tried to grab T's shirt to pull her back. Without being noticed Terror had slipped into the bathroom and was now standing a few feet away from Muerte who was still on the ground, eyes fixed on Bobby, whining in pain. She felt Agony and Revenge enter the room behind her, ignoring her command to stay back. Ever so slowly she turned her head and nailed them with a glare that made them step back into the hall. When she faced Muerte again, she started to inch forward until she kneeled directly next to him in the water. The whole time she was coming nearer his eyes stayed fixed on Bobby. She could feel Rodriguez frantically fighting for dominance, crying silently for help, but Muerte ignored him and held on to his supremacy. There was no wrath or hate aimed at Rodriguez. Muerte's sole hatred was directed at the men in the entrance and the threat they could mean to him, Rodriguez or Bobby on the floor. Rodriguez's however didn't care for the Inferna Angelus at the door or even Bobby on the floor. Right at that moment all he could think of was killing Muerte for attacking Bobby. His despair was overwhelming and constricting Terror's breathing. Suddenly everything became clear. All the conflicting signals she had become from the man in front of her throughout the day. Muerte wasn't trying to eliminate Rodríguez, to take over control permanently. He was fighting for their survival. He didn't trust the gentle and unstable Rodríguez to handle the danger of the upcoming situations so he took over to make sure he could protect not just himself but Rodríguez, too. When Bobby reached behind his back, Muerte attacked on instinct. The moment he recognized Bobby unconscious on the floor, he felt sorry and in pain but Rodríguez didn't realize that. All Rodríguez felt was hatred against the monster in him that had attacked the man he loved. So he started to fight Muerte with all he had in him which in turn led Muerte to fight back to stay in control.

_Talk about lack of communication. _Terror thought with an internal headshake as she slowly slid in front of Muerte, obscuring his view on Bobby. No reaction. Cautiously she laid her hands on his. No reaction, he just stared unseeingly through her, the battle within him at a peak. Ignoring Pain cussing her to the moon and back she ever so slowly let her hands trail up Rodríguez's arms to his shoulders. A shudder went through the body in front of her and the cold, black eyes of Muerte started to focus on her. Knowing that the next seconds would be crucial she blanked out her surroundings and concentrated on the raging soul in front of her.

When Bobby came around, his head was in Rodríguez lap who was gently caressing his face.

"I'm so sorry," Rodríguez said with tears sliding down his face.

"It's ok Amigo. It wasn't you, it was him. I'm not mad at you." Bobby whispered, lifting his hand to wipe away the tears that were threatening to fall down the chin. What he wouldn't give for elevating his anguish.

"You are too good for me. I could have killed you."

"You are wrong on both accounts and I will proof it to you even if it takes the rest of my life." Bobby tried to turn his head to look around the dark room but immediately stilled; his head felt like splitting. "Where are we?"

"Still at Shorty's" Rodríguez answered quietly. "Furor wanted to get you to a hospital but when I growled at him, he backed away. The EMTs are waiting outside."

"Smart man," Bobby chuckled and groaned when the pain hit.

"I wanted to be with you when you woke up and I wasn't sure I could stand being in a hospital surrounded by all those people. I love you Bobby – always have, always will." Rodríguez took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry I can't be in a relationship with you. I wish I'd be a better man."

"I know, hon." Bobby stopped the hand that still caressed him and kissed softly its palm before closing Rodríguez's fingers over the kiss. "And just for the record: For me you are the best man there is." With that he closed his eyes. The next time he woke up he was in a hospital room with monitors beeping around him and Ranger and Lester sitting in chairs next to his bed, their eyes closed.

"Where is he?"

Their heads snapped up at Bobby's voice and they rubbed their despondent faces.


	9. Chapter 9 Realization

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

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**Chapter 9 – Realization**

The first rays of sunlight broke through the mists of the eastern sky, immersing the calm waters of the Atlantic in a soft light. The breeze coming from the sea was cold, leaving a chill on Rodríguez's bare upper body but he didn't notice the goosebumps. After a night of terror he finally felt peaceful.

Last night he had attacked the best friend he'd ever had.

Last night he had attacked the only reason he's still alive.

Last night he had attacked the man he loves.

Standing on the deck looking out at the sea, he enjoyed the smell of salt and seaweed in the air and smiled. It was time. He calmly took the gun from his waistband and placed the muzzle at his temple.

My soul long drowned in the sea of despair  
My spirit no longer gasping for air  
I struggled, I strived, I fought to survive  
Till I no longer saw a meaning in life

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	10. Chapter 10 Missing Rodríguez

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Please be aware that English is not my mothertongue. I will write, check, and re-check this story to my best ability but I know the misspelling gremlin is lurking around, trying to trick me. Help me to chase him away by notifying me of recurring faults - thank you._**

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**Chapter 10 – Missing Rodríguez**

"Any news about Rodríguez's whereabouts?" Ranger asked Tank as soon as they were in his office. It was 0700 hours and he had just come back from the hospital where he'd spent the night at Bobby's bedside. After Bobby was carted off to the hospital last night, Rodríguez went missing. Tank, Ram, Woody and Cal had searched for him throughout the night without success.

"Nothing," Tank said rubbing his bald head. "Not a single clue. His isolated lifestyle isn't helping. Have you or Lester told Bobby?"

Ranger shook his head no. They couldn't bring themself to agitate Bobby any more than he already was. After he came around at the hospital last night he insisted on going back here to talk to Rodríguez; said he was concerned about his mental state. The doctors made abundantly clear that he needed to calm down and finally sedated him.

"You have to tell him, man. If anybody could have an idea where Rodríguez could be, it's Bobby. It seemed to me that recently they had become closer again."

"Yeah, I know, all the more reason for Rodríguez to hate himself after this attack." Ranger let out a strained breath. "Let's go talk to Terror. She's supposed to be the best tracker there is plus she was the one who got Muerte under control and Rodríguez back to the surface last night. Perhaps she can help."

They knocked at apartment 7e and after a minute Revenge opened the door. He led them to the living room where the rest of the men were already assembled.

"We wanted to talk to Terror. Is she here?"

"Still sleeping." Pain answered. "What's wrong?"

"Rodríguez is missing. We searched for him the whole night without success. We hoped Terror would help us."

"Rev, wake her up. I'm sure she will want to help."

Revenge came back from the bedroom and a moment later a sleep-drunken Terror stumbled into the living room, dressed in just a tiny tank and some boyshort bottoms and plopped on Agony's lap. Ranger and Tank tried hard to ignore the horrible scars all over her body; they'd seen them before - on Rodríguez.

"T, Rodríguez is missing. Ranger and Tank ask for your help to find him." Pain signed. Within the blink of an eye Terror was fully awake. She stared at Ranger for a couple minutes with unfocused eyes then turned to Pain, her hands a blur of movement. Hopping down Agony's lap, she motioned for him and Revenge to follow her and without another word the three of them left the room.

Ranger raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at Pain.

"She will search for him and text you when she found him." Pain answered the unspoken question.

Ranger hadn't been happy about the prospect of having a woman in the building, the insubordination it could cause, and her wearing Flip-flops and a shirt at yesterday's meeting proclaiming her schizophrenic tendencies didn't help but last night's events changed his attitude. She got Muerte under control – a feat he and his men weren't able to accomplish three weeks ago. _Now please let her find him before Bobby returns from the hospital,_ he sent a quick prayer heavenwards.


	11. Chapter 11 Muerte's POV

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 11 – Muerte's POV**

A beach house at Cape May, New Jersey

_Get outta my head you fucking bastard, _he screamed at me.

_Sorry, bro' – no can do. You want to kill us. I can't allow that,_ I thought to myself. I knew he could hear me. He was there, I could feel him, he was fighting me, clawing at the vice-like grip I had on his will. He wanted his body back but that wasn't possible. Not as long as he was entertaining those stupid suicide thoughts. Why couldn't that dumbass see that I meant no threat to him, that I was protecting us.

_'Cuz you're a fucking killer. I may be a nutcase but I'm no stupid dumbfuck. You're a fucking monster,_ Rodríguez screamed in my mind.

_To the monsters,_ I thought and raised my left to salute. Darn, some booze would be nice but I can't risk losing my precious control. Looking around the room I remembered our times here with Bobby. Yeah, they were good times, especially in the bedroom. Shit. I've been way too long out of commission. Where is a good fuck when you need one.

_Why did you leave Bobby? You loved him. He was good for you,_ I wondered.

_Fuck you._

_Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer Bobby to fuck me – or is it fuck you? Fuck us? Guess it's the same. Though, if I think about it, right now I wouldn't be choosy. How about a handjob?_ After twenty minutes of silence I couldn't help but smile. Rodríguez had never been a patient man, his Mexican temper forbidding that. Should I have mercy with him, or should I wait him out. Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions. After ten more minutes I decided to put him out of his misery. _Helloooo? _I chirped in my sweetest singsong voice. _You still with me Ruby-tuby?_ I listened into the stillness of my mind; nothing. Damn, he's better than I remember.

After several more minutes of silence I heard him, the vibes accompanying his threat making me proud. _I've changed, fucker. I've become a patient man. Sometime soon you will need to rest and then I will kill you; I will kill us both. I will make sure that you will never again hurt someone and I will never again have you fucker in my mind._

Yeah. That's my man. The things done to us in that fucking torture chamber may have made him an emotional pussy but he still knew his game.

_Proud of you, Ruby-tuby. But what will happen to Bobby if he finds you in a puddle of blood? Thought about that?_

_He'll have to deal. And stop calling me Ruby-tuby, fuckhead._

_Sure. He'll have to deal. After all he's done for you, all the suffering he's been through because of you, you take the coward's way out. I'm sure he'll be full of understanding, _I thought with mock seriousness.

_The two of you are real comedians, you know that?_ I suddenly heard a third voice in my mind. Wheeling around I came face to chest with hazelnut-skinned, green-eyed tiny Terror. Jeez. That girl is really doing a number on my nerves.

"How the fuck…" I growled menacingly but she held up her hand totally unfazed.

"Hold your breath, Muerte. We had that discussion last night. I won't tell you how this works. As long as you play nice I mean no threat to you. Now, Agony and Rev are waiting outside. I want them to come in and you won't do them any harm. Understood?" She signed.

I distorted my scarred face into a grimace resembling a smile and with another growl bowed – I should really learn to purr for her; little vixen. Nobody shall say that I'm no fun, right?

When twideldee and twideldum entered the room, their stance was ready. Two more men who knew their game. Of course they were no match for me, but for average men – not bad.

_You are such a fucking, arrogant, boastful, self-important ASSHOLE,_ a well-known voice screamed in my mind.

_Jeez, bro, tell me how ya feel, will ya. And stop that screaming, it's giving me a headache,_ I thought to my other self while I kept a close eye on Agony and Rev who had their guns ready.

"Afraid?" I growled at them.

"No, but it wouldn't sit well with us if you harm T," Rev answered unperturbed, nailing me with a stare.

"I would never hurt my tiny terror tiger," I said with mock hurt in my voice before I looked over to her. "We are tight, right T?"

"No, not yet. First you have to proof that I can trust you," she signed.

"Trust is overrated." I looked back at Agony and Rev who had subtly tried to come closer. Dumbfucks. As if I wouldn't notice that. I wonder … I tilted my head to the right, then left, before I suddenly jumped and shouted "BOOOH". _Damn, they didn't bat an eye. I really thought they would. HaHaHa, that would have been a sight. The oh so mighty Inferna Angelus squealing like girls, 'cuz big bad Muerte scared them_, I snickered inwardly. Out of nowhere I felt an elbow in my gut.

_Stop that shit!_

_Hey, tiny T. No need to get brutal. Just trying to have some fun here. _I thought, pissed at the pain in my midriff. How the fuck can she sneak up like that? She's lucky she's hot or I'd have to kill her.

"Let Rodríguez back to the surface. There's no need for you to be out." Agony said from a few yard away. Fucker has no clue but puffs his chest like he's the king of the world.

"Wrong, Mr. Agony, 'cuz everybody's darling in here," I tapped my head, "tried to kill me … us … himself … whatever. As you can surely imagine I have reasonable interest to not let that happen."

That made my audience speechless. _Taataaaa – I'm so fucking good,_ I thought as I clapped myself on the shoulder.

"Rodríguez? Is that true?" Terror's hands were trembling as she signed.

_Uh oh. Shit. Why do girls always have to get all crybaby when it comes to good ol' death? What an affront, I should really be miffed. After all it's such an exhilarating feeling to snuff someone out after a good hunt._

"Muerte, let me talk to Rodríguez. Now. You know we won't let him do anything stupid." She signed, steady this time, looking me square in the eyes.

_Damn. That girl has some sexy vibes – I bet her juices are extra hot'n sweet. Perhaps I'd get myself a taste; something to think about. You better behave, bro, or I'll get really angry_.

_Fuck you._

_We already had that,_ I thought with a smirk.

"Milady, he's all yours," I said to the little spitfire in front of me, bowed with a flourish and then closed my eyes and concentrated on losing the grip I had locked on to Rodríguez will.

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**A/N: Did you really thought I'd kill Rodríguez? ... Please tell me how you feel/felt about chapter nine. I wasn't sure whether it was too dark to post.**


	12. Chapter 12 Confessions

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: Ok, this one's a big one but at its end you will love me - promised :-)_**

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**Chapter 12 – Confessions**

When the man in front of her opened his eyes again, they were no longer coal black and cold but of a soft, warm chocolate brown – Muerte was gone, Rodríguez back.

"Is it true?" Terror signed questioningly. No need to beat around the bush. When Rodríguez averted his eyes, she knew the answer.

She moved, so she was in front of his eyes again. "Why?"

Rodríguez went over to one of the floor to ceiling windows facing out to the sea and looked at the waves breaking on the beach. Bobby and he had bought this house at Cape May as their hideaway. While at Trenton they were holding back, here they could freely live their love without judgment or curious eyes. Opening the glass sliding door he stepped out on the deck and closed his eyes. The salty taste of the air, the smell of seaweed, the cries of the seagulls, the sound of the breaking waves; s_hit, I've really become a crybaby,_ he thought as the tears started to run down his cheeks.

_No, you haven't. You aren't even more emotional. You're just showing your emotions more easily. In my opinion that's something worthwile,_ he heard a voice in his head. Turning around he saw Terror standing behind him. He should feel rattled to hear a deaf-mute's voice in his head but somehow it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

_Easy to say for a girl,_ he thought as he turned back to the sea.

_My whole life I've always cried easily and I was always angry about it until someone convinced me that crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Think about it. The first thing you do when you are born is to cry. It's a sign that you're alive. How can being alive be a sign for weakness? _

_That's nice. Who told you that?_

_My brother. He was the smartest man I've ever known._

_Was?_

_He's dead._

Rodríguez turned his head and looked down at the woman standing next to him, watching the sea with a single tear running down her cheek. The wind blowing shore side made her brown curls swirl around her head like wild flames. Had there always been a red tint in the sun? Capturing some of the swirling flames, he tucked them behind her ear and wiped away the tear with his thumb.

Never averting her gaze from the sea, she continued_ Things happened after he died so I couldn't really mourn him. But when Grief was killed three years ago, I fell apart. It was like losing my brother all over again and there was only one thought left in my mind. I wanted to follow him; follow them; I wanted to die, too._

_What did you do? Why are you still alive?_

_Well,_ she pushed up the sleeves of her hoodie and removed the leathern wristbands she wore,_ I tried to kill myself; several times. _Over the arteries on both wrists were distorted scars in evidence. _Drove the guys crazy. They kept watch over me day and night, shared my bed and held me at night, forced me to stand up in the morning, forced me to eat, to exercise, to take care of me until, one day, I was ready to do it myself. Not once did they give up on me. _Then she turned her head and looked straight into Rodríguez's eyes. _And I will do the same for you until you are ready to take over again; I will not give up on you._

Rodriguez looked back out at the sea, floored, thousand questions and emotions running through his mind.

_Why?_

_I've been where you are and I know the way out._ After a pause she asked, _Why do you want to die?_

For a long time Rodríguez just stood there looking out at the ocean and Terror let him. He probably wasn't aware that she knew what was going on in his mind and it was important that he sorted through it himself; that he himself came to the conclusion that he still had a chance.

_I can't stand it anymore. _He stated after a while. _My life, I mean. I hate the person I was, I hate this killer I was and who is still in me. I don't know who I am anymore. I tried to be Rodriguez, the way I was before the capture, but it didn't work. I can't really remember him; everything's so fuzzy. There are memories but as soon as I try to focus on them they vanish into thin air._ The despair he felt ran down his face in rivulets._ I can't stand to be surrounded by people. I can't stand to be surrounded by me. Whatever I tried to be normal, no matter how much I tried, I failed, I hurt everyone around me. I hurt Bobby again and again. I love him but I can't show it to him. Every time I look in a mirror and see my distorted face and body I'm reminded of the monster I am. People are gawking at me like I'm an animal in the zoo. I hate myself so much. I just want it all to stop. The nightmares; those fucking nightmares. As soon as I close my eyes I'm back there. But there are no faces, no voices, just night after night a reliving of what they did to me._ He didn't need to say more; she understood. She visited that place herself again and again. It was one of the reasons she couldn't sleep alone; why she preferred to sleep with Agony and Rev or one of the other guys.

_Last winter I had pneumonia. I really thought that was it; that I would die. I didn't take the drugs Bobby gave me, hoped that it would quicken the end, but he found me, brought me to the hospital and they saved me,_ he snorted._ And now this Muerte is back. He nearly killed Ranger and Bobby, I nearly killed them. He's talking to me. I constantly have his voice in my mind. He's such an ass. I feel like I'm going insane. I just want it to end. I can't go on like this anymore._

After a few minutes of silence Terror put her hand on his arm. _I want you to look at something_. When he turned to her, she pulled off her hoodie and undid the straps of the Kevlar vest she was wearing. After getting rid of the vest, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Standing there on the deck just clad in black cargos and sport bra, the midday sun coming from above, he could see myriad of scars covering her upper body. He'd never seen her that naked before; she'd always worn a long-sleeved shirt when they were sparing six years ago. As she slowly turned in front of him, her back gave him the same view. Long distorted scars were zigzagging down her back and front, obviously caused by knifes and badly healed; shallower straight scars he recognized as results of flogging; round distorted scars where someone had burned her. And there were brandings, Portuguese terms of abuse; bastardo, prostituta, traidor. Gulping air he put his hands on her shoulders and cautiously turned her back. Some fucker had tortured her; badly. He could feel Muerte fuming; hear him roaring somewhere deep inside him. His eyes wandered down her front, back to her face. His left hand rose without his consent and gently touched the scar at her forehead, followed its trail along the left temple, cheek, down her jaw and neck. When his fingers reached the edge of her bra where the scar vanished, he looked up to her face with tears in his eyes just to see her own tears there.

_There are others below the waistline. _She didn't need to say more for him to understand. She had been raped, too. _I've been where you are and I know the way out,_ she repeated._ Those perverts aren't worth that we kill ourselves because of what they've done to us._

Turning back, he looked out at the sea again. Ever since he became a SEAL the view of the endless ocean had a calming effect on him. After a while he looked at her._ How are you doing this? Understanding my thoughts and talking to me in my mind?_

She wasn't ready to share that secret with him. Nobody outside her team knew about her special abilities. They were her family, she trusted them completely. As much as she wished she could, she wasn't ready to trust Rodríguez that way. _Was dropped in the caldron with magic potion as kid,_ she said after a pause, her face serious. Then she smiled and signed with her hands "One day I will tell you, I promise. Now let's go back to Trenton before I decide to stay here forever. It's beautiful here."

"Wait!" He said, touching her arm as she continued to turn away from him. "How did you find me here?"

"I already told you," she grinned. "Was dropped in the caldron with magic potion."

As she started to turn again he pushed himself in front of her and signed. "Why do I always feel at ease when I'm around you? Why do I feel right now as if trying to kill me was a stupid thing to do; as if anything is possible as long as you are near me?"

Shaking her head and then tilting it to the side, Terror raised a single eyebrow.

"No, don't say it. The caldron with magic potion. Is that the only answer I'll get from now on?"

"Yep," she signed, grinning again. "Now stop delay leaving. I'm hungry and I really, really like it here."

_What kind of logic is that? I'm hungry and I like it here so I have to leave? Jeez, girls,_ Rodríguez faintly heard Muerte's voice in his head._ You saw the scars bro' – she's been through hell and back. Take care of her or I will do it._

Back at Haywood

Lester brought Bobby home from the hospital around 1400 hours. When Bobby entered his apartment on eight he immediately knew that he wasn't alone. On the floor right behind the door laid a tiny Kevlar vest, careless divested combat boots size 4.5 next to size 10 and several small weapons. Smiling to himself he entered the living room and saw Rodríguez and Terror lying next to each other on the floor, their legs on the couch, a pizza box between them.

"Cute little vest and boots you have there." He said motioning to the hall after he was sure she could see him.

T read his lips upside down and simply stuck her tongue out. Bobby couldn't help but laugh out loud and immediately groan and hold his head when his headache hit him hard. Within a second Rodríguez was up and in front of him drawing him in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry," he reiterated again and again.

"You can stop that right now!" Bobby said harshly, drawing back out of the embrace. He cupped Rodríguez's face with his hands, laid his forehead against Rodríguez's and deeply breathed in the scent of the man in front of him. "It's. Not. Your. Fault. It was Muerte who attacked me. Not. You." Then he took another deep breath and continued softly "I love you," repeating Rodríguez's words from the night before. "Always have, always will. For me, you are the best man in the world. Please stop beating yourself up over this. We call Jack and Dr. Thompson at Cedar Creek and see what they say. If they want us to come over to Kentucky and stay for a while, then that is what we will do. Please Baby," he whispered. "let me help you." Then he softly kissed away the tears running down Rodríguez face and without conscious effort their lips found each other in a kiss. Tender at first, savoring the feeling of the other's soft lips, then more and more hungry; it felt so good, so familiar. For the first time in weeks Rodríguez felt safe and without a care. First the time with Terror at Cape May and on the drive back - he felt safe with her; she could control his other persona and that made him relax. And now all those warm memories and feelings washing over him. When Bobby's tongue asked for entrance and Rodríguez opened his mouth for him, they both moaned at the taste of each other. Flooded with desire he backed Bobby into the wall behind him, trapping him with his body, kissing him hungrily. His hands slid under Bobby's shirt and caressed his warm skin, working their way up his sides to his already hard nipples and back down to the small of his back, drawing him even closer into his body. He could feel Bobby's hard shaft pressing against his groin and moaned. Their warm tongues duelled with passion and their breathing became more and more ragged. The moment they started to grind against each other there was a sudden tucking at their roaming hands. Breaking away, breathing heavily, they looked down into Terror's green eyes, her face radiating joy.

"Fuck!" Rodríguez cursed pulling back from Bobby.

"Not really," Terror signed smiling brightly making Bobby laugh and grimace in pain at the same time. He thought he had forgotten what little ASL he knew from their visits with Rubén's sister but seeing Terror and her team signing quickly brought his memories back.

Not caring about her seeing his raging hard on, he focused back on the man in front of him and caressed his cheek. "Lester told me you took a little time-out. Where have you been?"

Closing his eyes, enjoying the tender contact, Rodriguez softly answered "Cape May; haven't been there since we parted." Feeling Bobby squeeze his neck, he opened his eyes. The love he saw in Bobby's face made his heart constrict. The kiss they'd just shared had been amazing; he'd missed kissing him so much. The lust and desire he was feeling for Bobby was still running hot in his veins and he knew that the bulge straining against the zipper of his cargos must be an impressive sight. How sick was that – one moment he tried to kill himself and the next his only thought was to get the man in front of him out of his clothes – fast.

"How is it there? Have Gabe and Mary taken good care of our place?" He heard Bobby ask in the distance.

Forcing himself back to the present Rodríguez nodded. "Yeah. It looks like we've never been away. There were even fresh flowers. And the garden is absolutely beautiful." Then, hesitating, "haven't you been there?"

"No, not once." Bobby shook his head. "That was our place, amigo." His hand still at Rodríguez's neck, Bobby's thumb rubbed gently his strong jawline. "That was our hideaway. I couldn't go there without you."

Rodríguez closed his eyes again. There were so many contradicting feelings running through him, love, hate, desire, disdain, that he felt like he was short of a nervous breakdown. "I promised T to take her back when all this shit is over. She loved it there."

"You found him there? In Cape May?" Bobby asked. When she nodded, he drew her into a hug letting go of all the tension that had built in him over the last hours. "Thank you, sweetheart, thank you so much. Of course we'll take you back; whenever you want. No, better yet, you will get your own key so you can come and go as you wish," he babbled, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't read his lips in his tight embrace. Nobody besides her team and now Rodríguez and Muerte knew about her mind-reading abilities.

Pulling back from Bobby's hug, T grabbed a pen and notebook from one of the coffee tables and wrote 'What about your headache? Do you need to lay down?' When Bobby nodded yes, she took his hand as well as Rodríguez's and led them both to the bedroom. Motioning for them to lay down she vanished into the bathroom. When she reemerged, she climbed up the bed and without thinking snuggled herself up to Bobby who laid on his side facing Rodríguez. Normally she didn't like to be touched – especially by men – but this felt right. She felt safe in Bobby and Rodriguez's presence like she only felt when she was with Agony or Revenge. Perhaps it was because they were both gay couples. There was no danger of being abused and raped by them. In the notebook she wrote 'Rubén needs to tell you something' and showed it first to Bobby then to Rodríguez who looked at the page and closed his eyes. An eternity passed without anything happening until he felt a small hand on his arm. Opening his eyes he found Bobby and Terror lying spooned up on their sides, looking at him with concern.

Rodríguez pressed his lips together to keep the tears at bay. These mood swings were like a roller coaster. _I can't,_ he thought, locking eyes with T. _It will hurt him. I already hurt him so much; I can't do that to him. I love him._

_If you really love him, then don't hurt him by keeping quiet about this. This is serious, Rubén. You tried to take your life, you need help. Trust him, tell him the truth and let him help you; let us help you. And by us I don't just mean Bobby and me. I'm sure Ranger, Tank, Les, Woody, Cal and Ram will want to help, too, if you let them. Pain and Furor want for sure. Look at this as a wake-up call; a fresh start with a pack of friends that have your back and are ready and willing to take over when things are beyond your strength. Listen Rubén, you can keep on going out there and do everything on your own, but you don't have to; nobody's expecting that from you, you shouldn't expect that from you. That's a lesson I had to learn, too, and that I'm passing on to you._

Once again floored by the small woman in front of him, he pulled himself together, took a deep breath and locked eyes with Bobby.

"When I decided to drive to Cape May last night I had no plan whatsoever besides getting away from you and everyone else so I wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. Then, when I was there and all those memories of our shared past started to wash over me, it was like I was sucked into a maelstrom." Rodríguez paused as he tried to calm down. "I couldn't think about anything else but that monster in me and that I had to stop him and that the only way out was that he had to die," he sobbed, giving up the fight against the tears. "I know I should have told you when I first had those thoughts months ago but once they were there," he sobbed again, "I couldn't talk about it … cause then … you would have known … and held me back." He wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Bobby," he whispered.

The longer Rodríguez talked, the more difficult it became for him to get the words out, the more Bobby's arm constricted around T's waist. "What, hon? What are you sorry for?" he whispered, scared that his worst fears were true.

Taking a deep breath he plucked up the courage he needed. "I'm sorry for trying to take my life today. I'm sorry for not taking my meds when I was down with pneumonia. I'm sorry for inviting death to take me," Rodríguez whispered. "It was the only chance I saw to stop my anguish, it was the only way I saw to stop Muerte." His eyes still locked with Bobby's, he could see every single feeling running over his best friend's face. Shock, despair, fear, betrayal, hurt and anger – all-consuming anger. Jumping out of the bed, Bobby darted to the door.

"Bobby, stop!" Rodríguez called and scrambled out of the bed. Before he could reach him, Bobby whirled around, his eyes flashing rage.

"Don't." Bobby's voice was colder than Rodríguez had ever heard it before. "Leave me alone." And without another word he turned and stormed out of his apartment, leaving Rodríguez devastated behind.

_Give him some time to stomach that. He will come around._

_Why are you so sure about that?_

_Because he loves you and true love never dies._

_Your brother's wisdom?_

_Nah, Grief made me watch some chick flick. He thought it would cheer me up._

_Did it work?_

_Scared the crap outta me._

Rodríguez turned around, stared at the woman sitting Indian style on the bed and through the tears of his despair he started to laugh; a full out belly shaking laugh.

When he had calmed down enough to talk, he turned to T and watched her wiping the tears away that had sprung free when she soundlessly joined in his laughter. "Want some ice-cream?" He knew they had to talk but he couldn't bring up the energy to do it now. This emotional rollercoaster he'd been on for the last weeks was finally taking its toll; he was exhausted.

When Bobby found them three hours later, they were sleeping snuggled together, an empty pint of B&J next to them. He was still full of anger but no longer at the man lying on the bed. His anger; his wrath was directed at Muerte, at the government who produced him in the first place, at those who sent him on that fucked up mission that broke him. Taking a deep breath he made his way to the bathroom to wash away the sweat from the gym he'd been in for the last three hours. When he was finished and had put on some comfy old basketball shorts and shirt, he cautiously laid down on the bed next to the man he loved and the scarred woman who seemed to get through to him. Taking care not to jar them, he simply watched them and let the peace of the situation wash over him.

Half an hour later he cautiously got out of the bed and laid his hand on Rodríguez's shoulder. When he got no reaction he gave his shoulder a light squeeze. Immediately Rodríguez's eyes popped open.

"We need to talk, now," was all Bobby said before he turned and headed for the kitchen.

As Rodríguez came into the kitchen Bobby nailed him with an icy glare. He had a long talk with Agony and Revenge when he was in the gym. They told him about T and how they handled her when she tried to end her life, repeatedly. The times of docile and sympathetic Bobby were over. From here on there were just two paths and Rubén had to decide which one he wanted to take and stick to it. Period.

"What do you want to do?" Bobby asked him.

Rodríguez hung his head. "Listen Bobby, I'm sorry but …"

"Stop that!" Bobby's commanding no-nonsense voice made Rodríguez head snap up. "I didn't ask for another apology. I want to know what you plan to do. Do you still want to die?"

Rodríguez looked at Bobby, unsettled by his bluntness. "No," he whispered.

"What DO you want?" Bobby's voice was calm and clear.

Rodríguez swallowed. "I don't know," he whispered, then cleared his throat and continued with a little more strength in his voice, "but I know that I don't want to die."

Bobby looked at him scrutinizing. Apparently he found what he was looking for 'cause in his no-nonsense voice he continued.

"Then this is what we will do: Firstly – starting now you will always wear a GPS panic button on you, equal where you are. If you feel out of sorts, no matter how slightly, you will press the button. Agony and Rev told me you hear Muerte's voice talking to you in your mind – if you hear his voice again and you can't easily ignore it, you will press the button. If you feel the telltale tremble that announces him taking over, you will press the button." Bobby cupped Rodríguez's face and locked eyes with him. "If you EVER AGAIN feel a single thought of suicide entering your mind, you will press the button. No matter what time it is, no matter where you are, no matter how stupid you may feel. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

"Whom do you want the panic button connected to besides me?"

"I don't know," Rodríguez answered quietly – even more unsettled by this new commanding Bobby.

"Rubén, every one of your friends will want to help you and will happily agree to come when you call." Rodríguez flinched inwardly when he was called by his first name. Bobby seldom called him Rubén. Even after they parted he stuck to 'amigo', 'hon' or even 'baby' in very intimate moments. But he was right; his friends would want to help him – at least he hoped so. When Bobby stormed out of the apartment earlier, he felt like the last remains of his heart were breaking into thousand pieces. If the talk with Esme hadn't been enough, that pain was a true eye-opener. Tolerating Muerte would be an ordeal, but loosing Bobby would be unbearable.

"You are right. Esme said earlier that I shall look at this as a wake-up call; a fresh start with a pack of friends that have my back and are ready and willing to take over when things are beyond my strength. That I could keep on going out there and do everything on my own, but I don't have to; nobody's expecting that from me and I shouldn't expect that from me either."After a pause he continued, "If you think they will come, then call Ranger, Tank, Les, Woody, Cal and Ram for a meeting and I will tell them what I've done and ask them for their help."

Bobby nodded his understanding and the relief and pride he felt was written all over his face. Nevertheless he kept his tone serious as he continued.

"Secondly – tomorrow you will call Jack and Dr. Thompson at Cedar Creek and you will tell them about the recurrence of Muerte and your suicidal thoughts. When they want you to come to Kentucky, you will. When they want you to start therapy here, you will. Whatever help they offer, you will take it."

"I promise."

"Thirdly and last – I want to trust you, Rubén, but your suicide attempts scare the hell outta me. The fact that today wasn't your first try and that you've kept those thoughts from me for months on end has damaged the faith I had in you before. So I want you to stay with me, Terror or any person of our trust as much as possible. If you need alone time, that's ok, but you will stay within the building and let me know where you are. I know that limits your freedom and independence and you hate that but I need that extra security until I can be sure that I won't come home one day to find you shot on the floor, 'cause that, Rubén, would be my death. Don't forget, I buried you once. If I have to do it again, I won't survive it."

Taking a shuddering breath, Rodríguez locked eyes with Bobby. How could he be so selfish and not care about what his death would mean for his friend. "Bobby, please, don't worry, I won't fight you on this. I will do everything you said and more to become better. And I will proof to you that you can trust me and that I'm worth your faith."

Sighing Bobby drew Rodríguez into a gentle embrace and just held him for a while.

"Do you remember the day we first kissed?" he spoke into Rodríguez neck. "That day, seven years and eleven months ago, I started worrying about you, 'cause that's what I do when I love somebody; I worry about them, sometimes day and night." Pulling back slightly he started to caress Rodríguez face and neck, drawing mindless patterns on his skin, rubbing the stubbly beard that had grown over the last 36 hours. "I love your stubble, it's so sexy," he whispered. "But you know that hon, right?" He leaned his forehead against Rodríguez's and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. "We will get through this, together, step by step. You are stuck with me, Mr. Rodríguez." Bobby said quietly before he gave his friend a lovingly kiss.


	13. Chapter 13 Asking For Help

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Asking For Help**

Thirty minutes later the living room was filled with Ranger, Tank, Les, Woody, Cal and Ram, all wondering what this was about and fearing the worst. Just when Rodríguez was about to start, there was a knock at the door.

"Hey Bobby," Pain greeted him. He and Furor were standing there with concern in their eyes. "Is T still with Rodríguez? We're a bit worried."

"Yeah, she's sleeping. She was so tired I didn't want to wake her. Would you mind coming in while you're here? Rubén wanted to talk to you anyway," Bobby answered and guided them to the living room. When they saw the men assembled in the small room, they frowned but took the two remaining chairs from the dining table and sat down.

Rodríguez took several deep breaths and locked eyes with Bobby who had settled himself against the wall in the corner of the room. The stress in him was overwhelming. His heart was pumping like a freight train, his hands were sweaty and he had a lump in his throat that he felt like he couldn't get enough air. As he tried to breathe against the resistance, the feeling of suffocating just got more pronounced.

_Ok, man, buck up. You can do this. Think of what Esme told you. She's a survivor and you can be one, too. _

He cleared his throat, opened his mouth, but nothing came out. This was it. He was about to tell the men in front of him, the men who belonged to the toughest in the world, what a weak looser he was.

_Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck,_ he cussed in his mind. _Why do I have to be such a failure? I was a SEAL for crying out loud, fighting for this country, ridding the world from bad guys, and now I can't even handle my day-to-day life._

He had eliminated every stress factor he could think of. He had stopped any hobbies and leisure activities, had chosen a job that held no demands, had isolated himself from any closer human contact besides Bobby; still he couldn't master the miserable life that remained in the end. He didn't care to eat right, didn't care to exercise right, didn't care about anything at all; it simply wasn't worth the effort, he wasn't worth the effort. The only thing that kept him alive right now was his recovered affection for Bobby and the thought of Esme. The moment he would admit all that aloud, it would become the cruel truth for everybody in this room to hear. It's not like he had cared about them in the years since his capture but they were always there; a constant link to his old life. Without knowing they helped him to stay grounded, to not spiral completely out of control.

_What if they can't stand me anymore after I told them? What if they send me packing after they realize what a basketcase I am? What if I can see the disappointment in their eyes and can't handle it? Why would they even care for such an incapable, constantly crying, pathetic loser? Oh my god, what if Bobby recognizes me as the deranged I am and decides to break ties? I wouldn't survive that. Bobby's the only one who stood by me even after I sent him away. He loves me in spite of everything. He pushes me when I need to be pushed and tolerates my anger when I need to lash out. God, how could I've been so blind not to recognize how much I need and love him. He can't leave me. Not now. How shall I go on without him._ Rodríguez's thoughts were spiraling out of control; his desperation becoming overwhelming. _I need to go. I need to go and finish what I started today morning. There must be a way to outsmart Muerte. They are all better off without me; Ranger and the guys won't need to worry about having me around, damaging their credibility and Bobby can move on and live a carefree life. He's a great guy, he'll soon find someone else to love. _

Rodríguez's neck felt strangulated. He frantically tried to take deep breaths but the harder he pulled in air the more his lungs seemed to constrict. His breathing became wheezy and ragged; panic was spreading through him. Grabbing for his throat and chest, his vision started to get fuzzy. Suddenly he felt someone cup his face and force him to look into their eyes. Bobby, he was talking to him; Rodríguez could see him move his lips but he couldn't hear him. "Bobby," he wheezed, his lips starting to turn blue. "Bobby, I can't hear you," wheeze, "why can't I hear you?" wheeze, "I'm suffocating Bobby," he grabbed his arm, "Please, help me." Then he felt a short prick in his left upper arm. Surprised he looked at the syringe in Furor's hand as a warm sensation spread through his body and his breathing started to get easier.

"It's ok, hon. It was just a very mild sedative; it won't knock you out, just calm you down a bit to help you through this. It's ok," he could faintly hear Bobby's soothing voice. In the meantime his whole body felt warm. After a while the warm sensation started to retreat and with its retreat the acuteness of thought came back but he felt calm, no longer panicked.

"What happened?" Rodríguez asked as his mind cleared.

"You had a panic attack," Bobby answered while he brushed a strand of sweaty hair out of Rodríguez face. "I tried to talk you out of it but you didn't hear me so Furor grabbed my medic bag and gave you a very mild sedative; just enough to calm you down."

"Thanks," he turned to Furor.

"You're welcome," the medic smiled at him. "Do you want us to leave?" he nodded to the assembled men who looked a little uncomfortable.

"No, please stay. I want to get it over with."

Bobby smiled proudly at him. "You can do this, amigo. Don't be scared. I believe in you, Esme believes in you, we all believe in you. This is the first step into your new life and I'll be at your side all the way," Bobby said in a calm and clear voice before he tenderly brushed his lips over Rodríguez's. After helping him up and into one of the recliners, he went back to the corner he'd been in before to give his friend a fix point to look at. Rodríguez felt a little drowsy because of the tranquilizer but after taking a few more controlled breaths, he started with a trembling voice.

"This will probably come unexpected but for about eight months now I've been fighting the urge to commit suicide." He probably shouldn't have dropped the bomb like that but there was a bit of numbness in him at the moment. "When I had pneumonia last winter, I broke down and gave in to the urge. I didn't take the meds Bobby gave me and hoped I'd be finished off before anybody would notice but Bobby averted that by finding me and bringing me to St. Francis." The first step was done. After another deep breath he continued, his eyes still locked with Bobby's. "The situation worsened about two months ago. Suddenly my regular nightmares became more and more violent, leaving me sleepless most nights. In addition I started to get strange seizures; while I was completely lucid I started to tremble and shake without being able to make out a cause. And panic attacks; out of nowhere and without any sense. I can't even say what I'm scared of; I'm just suddenly filled with a mortal fear, start to sweat and can't breathe anymore like you just witnessed a moment ago. After Muerte attacked you, Ranger, the thoughts to die, to kill myself, became a continuous overwhelming wish. It was him. He attacked you," Rodríguez took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes against the building tears, "but I was there, in him, the whole time. It felt like I was attacking you, too. I tried to stop him, I screamed at him to stop, but he didn't listen. It felt so horrible to punch and kick you, I didn't want to, believe me, but I was powerless." Rodríguez breathing started to become wheezy again. He saw Bobby's lips move and in an instant felt two hands on his shoulders. With each breathing out they simultaneously squeezed and pushed him lightly down into the cushion, just to loosen their grip and give him room to expand when he was breathing in. After a few breaths he had calmed down again and turned to see Furor behind him, smiling encouragingly. Locking eyes with Bobby again, he continued. "What held me back from any further suicide attempt was the thought of Bobby – until today. When Muerte attacked Bobby last night, when he forced me to attack Bobby, the last straw broke and I fled to Cape May. I mean, independent of the fact that I failed at being in a relationship with him, I still love him. How are you supposed to live with yourself after you attacked the one you love?" A single tear run down the left side of his face, crossing two scars on its way, just pronouncing his anguish. He didn`t care to wipe it away; soon enough others would follow. "First I just wanted to get away from everybody so I wouldn't hurt anyone else but as soon as I had calmed down, everything became crystal clear. I had to die 'cause that would be the only way to stop Muerte. So I took my gun to shoot me." Rodríguez took a deep shuddering breath. "The instant the muzzle hit my temple, before I could pull the trigger, Muerte took possession of me. It had never been like that. There'd always been a tremble and shaking before, a change in vision, but today morning it was one second me and the next second it was him. The second he was in control he put the gun away and we started to fight until Esme found us and talked him into letting me free." The Rangemen, Pain and Furor were speechless. "Esme," he took another shuddering breath, "she convinced me that what happened to me, the torture and rapes and all its aftermaths, isn't worth dying for. She knocked some sense into my deranged mind and made me see that this hit was far too close; that this should be my wake-up call to change things. When Bobby came back here from the hospital, I confessed everything to him." His eyes were still locked with Bobby's and he could see all the pain his behavior had caused him but there was also love; Bobby loved him nonetheless, though he was a wimp, a pussy, a mentally instable basket case. "As a result of my confession he raced out of the apartment and suddenly I recognized that losing him would be the worst thing that could happen to me – even worse than tolerating Muerte in me. So here I am; I have no fucking clue who I really am, what I shall do, but I know that I don't want to die. I want to get better, I want to feel valuable again and I want to try to resurrect my friendship with you. I'm worthless compared to you, I can't keep up with you anymore and I know I mistreated you the past years so if you aren't interested I understand. In that case I hope, I truly hope, that you are willing to help me nonetheless. As you can see I'm in no good frame of mind and I really don't know how to do this without your help; I need you."

Taking a last deep breath he looked away from Bobby and into the faces of his former friends. They looked shell-shocked and pale. Their friend, the man they helplessly watched suffering day by day for the last three years, had just told them that today he had tried to end his life. Realizing how close they'd come to losing him; yesterday's meeting would have been the last time they'd seen him. The thought was sickening. And they had no clue that he had those suicide thoughts. Where had they been with their minds not to notice those changes in him? Lester was the first to recover. He rose from the couch, made his way to Rodríguez and drew him into a tight hug. For several minutes they just stood there in their embrace. Years back they'd been best friends and now Lester had to realize that today he'd nearly lost him. He felt bad for not being more observant; not recognizing the signs. Without conscious decision he had given up on his friend and he was ashamed of himself. When he pulled back, he kept his hand at Rodríguez's neck, his brows's knitted, his eyes red and watery. "You just say the word, send me a text or call me and I will be at your side – anytime, anywhere. I've given up on you and I'm ashamed of that; I promise to be a better friend from now on. It's good to have you back, Rod. And just for the record – if you ever try such stupid shit again, Muerte will be the least of your worries. Are we clear? I buried you once, Rod. I can't do it again." Rodríguez was floored; he hadn't anticipated such reaction. Ram was the next and he, too, didn't hold back his feelings neither did Woody or Cal. After they'd all hugged him and said more or less the same, Rodríguez was overwhelmed by their acceptance, understanding and sympathy; never in his life had he thought telling them would feel so liberating. He had totally underestimated them. Tank and Ranger were different. Their faces were blank, their posture reserved when they welcomed him back but he knew that it was meant as heartfelt as from the other four men.

"After I calmed down earlier," Bobby spoke up as he made his way over to his friend. "Rubén and I agreed to some ground rules. From now on he will carry a GPS panic button with him at all times and if you agree we'd like to have it connected to each one of you. If he feels out of sort, if Muerte tries to take over, or if he should have suicidal thoughts again, he promised to press the button and it would be a relief to know that everyone of us will be alerted and can rush to his side. Furthermore," he continued as he cupped Rodríguez right cheek, his thump stroking the cheekbone, "will he call Jack and Dr. Thompson at Cedar Creek tomorrow and discuss the further steps to get better. And last not least I asked him to stay close to me, Terror or one of you for the time being until I can be sure he won't try to commit suicide again. As you said, Les, we buried him once; a second time would definitely kill me."

A low whistle from behind them made everybody turn their head. Terror was standing there, her clothes rumpled, her curls a wild mane pointing in all directions, but her smile lit up the whole room. "I'm so proud of you," she signed beaming. In three long strides Rodríguez was in front of her and drew her into a tight hug, lifting her two feet in the air. _Thank you, little one,_ he thought. _No need to thank me, big one,_ she answered him. _But you could feed me._ He couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of him. All drowsiness gone, he felt like an adrenalin rush was coursing through his body.

"Gentlemen," he turned to his friends who looked at him like he'd grown two heads. "What?" he asked confused.

"You are laughing," Lester answered matter of fact.

"Yeah, annoying isn't it? It's the third time today; all her fault." He pointed accusingly at Terror before smiling brightly. "Anyway, she demands to be fed so how about we order something in and have a little party in honor of my newfound will to live."

The Rangemen stared at him. Rodríguez smiling and suggesting a party – he'd definitely gotten some sense knocked into his head but right now he was downright manic and didn't come across as someone being suicidal but they would be vigilant. He was definitely suffering severe depressions and certain kinds of depressions came along with drastic mood swings. Today was a warning shot and they heard it – loud and clear.

After several pizzas and meatball subs were eliminated and Ranger had munched through what he called the party version of a salad – there was low fat cheese in it – everybody was at ease.

"T, how do you do it – controlling Muerte? I mean, we all know him first hand and it's not like anybody could bring him down." Ram asked.

Terror was snuggled against Pain, her feet in Furor's lap getting a massage. When she started to sign after a brief pause, Pain spoke for her. "I have some special talents that allow me to very quickly and easily rate someone. When I got to Muerte after he attacked Bobby, he was full of pain and desperation about what he had done. Suddenly the pieces started to fall into place and I understood what his reappearance was about. Whatever the trigger was two months ago or whoever used it – deliberately or unaware – Rubén couldn't cope with it. Either that or the trigger itself awoke Muerte and I guess you could say he kept tabs on the situation. When Ranger accepted the mission, for whatever reason Rubén's mind probably shut down in panic and Muerte took over, attacking the potential threat – in that case Ranger. The same happened when Bobby reached behind his back to get his tranquilizer gun last night. Muerte saw the movement, saw a potential threat, and attacked. He's done nothing else but protecting Rubén and himself from any harm. When I showed him that I'm no threat to the two of them as long as he plays by the rules, he immediately edged down and let Rubén resurface. The same happened today. He was afraid of Rubén killing them so he took control to protect them. When I convinced him that Agony, Rev and I wouldn't let Rubén do anything to himself, he immediately gave him free."

"That sounds like he's the good boy and I'm the deranged idiot." Rodríguez mumbled hurt but T read his words in his mind nonetheless.

"That's not what I mean," she signed and Pain said. "To use your own words, Muerte is a fucking, arrogant, boastful, self-important asshole. Period. But he means no harm to you. I don't say that you shall like him; all I'm saying is that he isn't trying to kill you or anything. In the long run we have to find a way that the two of you can share your body without continuously trying to throttle each other."

Terror had slipped of Pain's lap and was now crouching in front of Rodríguez who sat in one of the recliners. "Hey," she signed after she'd twisted until she could look into his averted eyes. "How about when all this is over and the two of you are living peacefully together, I make you a shirt like mine that says _I used to be schizophrenic but we are all right now._ Then the two of us match." Pain, Furor and Bobby burst out laughing and after a few seconds Rodríguez couldn't help but smile, too.

"Deal?" he signed.

"Deal," T answered and offered her pinkie finger that Rodríguez took smiling for a pinkie swear.

"Duh, I really need to learn that. I feel like I'm missing something important here." Lester muttered, his eyes following the exchange and laughter around him.

"Does that mean that you see a connection between the worsening nightmares, seizures, and the recurrence of Muerte?" Tank asked. It was the first time since they arrived at Haywood that she had seen him talk. She liked him; to the outside he pretended the tough no-nonsense guy but she knew from his thoughts that on the inside he was a very sensitive and caring man. He hated seeing Rodríguez suffering and wanted nothing more than help him but he didn't know how so he kept silent.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure that something happened two months ago that triggered a feeling of imminence in Rubén. Something that has to do with his past – that his subconsciousness tries to block out."

"We need to know if it has something to do with the mission. What have you done two months ago, Rodríguez?" Ranger asked. He couldn't help his commanding tone, it was his nature to take control and give out orders.

In the blink of an eye Terror was standing in a protective stance in front of Rodríguez facing Ranger across the coffee table. "Nobody will interrogate him. He has enough stress as it is, there's no need to add to that. When he's recovered a bit and IF he is willing we can try to dig out the wanted information. If he isn't willing to let us poke in his mind that's fine as well; we will otherwise find out what we need."

Staring at the woman, Ranger calmly said to Rodríguez "It wasn't my intent to pressure you. I hope you know you will get all the support and encouragement from us imaginable. Whatever it is - you name it and we will make it possible." The men around the table nodded. Ranger then looked him straight in the eyes. "And by no means do we think of you as worthless, a failure or a deranged idiot. You are scarred – physically and mentally – and you have every right to be. After what you'd been through every one of us would be in the same condition, probably worse."

"Thanks man."

"Aside from calling your therapists, do you have any plans what you want to do?" Ranger asked. He would love to give him more responsibility in the office, or perhaps he wanted a change of scenery. In that case he could go to Boston or Miami. Ranger was pretty sure Bobby would go with him but if losing him meant that he and Rodríguez found happiness again then it would be worth it.

"I," Rodríguez hesitated, thinking for a moment. "I guess I'd like to go back to Cape May more often, with Bobby, if you want that is," he looked over to Bobby. "I once was happy there and I could use some happy at the moment."

Bobby couldn't believe his ears. "Of course I want. I'd love to go there with you. What brought this thought about?"

Rodríguez looked down at the floor. "Esme," he said in a quiet voice and looked over to the woman back on Pain's lap. "We talked. Some of those things she said – they made me think. I know it won't be easy to change my thinking, to accept help from you guys, to step back from my own expectations and like me the way I am, but I want to get my life back. Right now I don't know who I am. I just know who I am not; I'm neither Muerte nor am I Rodríguez anymore. Besides I know I'll never again be the way I was before that capture but for the first time since I woke up at Ramstein I can accept that and not hate me for it. Rather … I don't know how to explain but … Esme, she made me laugh, thrice today, and it felt wonderful. I remembered how much I liked to laugh in the past, how much we all laughed together, and I miss that, I miss that so much. I don't know. After I just told you everything and you didn't send me packing but showed me all your support … I feel like I could perhaps like what the future could bring. I just have to find my new ego and I guess I have to find peace with my alter ego."

Instead of answering, Bobby stood up, pulled Rodríguez out of the recliner and drew him in a fierce hug. For the last three years he had tried everything he could think of to get him out of his funk; to make him want to change things. Who could know it needed a 5'3" deaf-mute girl to make him listen. What a lunacy. Pulling back he cupped Rodríguez's face, locked eyes with him and smiled impishly right before he kissed him with all he had, pouring all his love, desire, hope and conviction into this one kiss. They parted when they could no longer ignore the catcalls and coughs around them, both dazed and breathing heavily.

After the others had left, Bobby laid on the couch with Rodríguez in his arms, spooned to his front and sleeping. Back when they'd still been a couple, it had mostly been Rodríguez who held Bobby in his arms. It wasn't like they had some stereotype role allocations with one of them being the softer female part. They were both the epitome of manliness and each of them could make men piss their pants with one look but of the two of them Rodríguez had been the even more vicious one and was used to take control. Now the roles were reversed and Bobby was the one in control, doing the holding and it felt good. He loved to take care of someone, to be needed. It was like balm for his soul, fit his caring nature and if he was honest he'd missed that in the past. For the past three and a half weeks since Rubén had moved in, they had shared a bed though nothing happened. But the amount of touches between them had constantly increased and today they had shared some amazing kisses. He didn't want to approach the subject of their relationship, they had all the time in the world, but he was happy. At the moment the only important thing was Rubén's mental recovery. With that thought in mind he tenderly started to nuzzle his neck to wake him up so they could relocate to the bedroom.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, Rodríguez made it successfully through the valley of tears. Now his friends know what is truly going on with him and it was an eye-opener for them as the possibility of loosing Bobby was for Rod. They are standing behind him and want to help him and from now on his life will improve. There'll be obstacles, bumps and bruises on the way but that's just the way life is. In the end I promise there'll be a HEA**


	14. Chapter 14 About Fears And Tasty Offers

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: After all that dark stuff it's time for a certain tiger to have some fun with the Merry Men ... and then there's Bobby (sigh) isn't he the greatest?_**

* * *

**Chapter 14 – About Fears And Tasty Offers**

When the first Rangemen entered the gym the next morning at 0515 hours the Inferna Angelus were already scattered over the room, working on different exercise machines. Vince and Manny jumped on the treadmills next to Terror and Rage who were running at a fast pace while continuously laughing and chatting in ASL. Seeing her laugh put a smile on the men's faces – there was no sound to be heard but the joy was pulsing of her that you couldn't help but smile. When she pulled off her sweaty tank while running, there was a deafening bang and crash next her. Of course she didn't hear it but when Rage's eyes widened and he push the emergency stop on his treadmill, she followed suit. There on the floor to her left were laying Vince and Manny, their expression dazed as they stared at her. Looking around she saw the other men bend over roaring with laughter and slowly she understood what had just happened. With a wide smile she offered the guys her hand and helped them up. When Manny was finally back on his feet she kept his hand, turned it over and wrote with her index finger on his palm _Are you hurt?_

"Just my pride. It's ok." He shrugged while he held his right arm. Apparently it had absorbed the brunt of his fall.

Gently she took the arm and first kissed his wrist and then his elbow. Her ears may not be able to hear the catcalls and whistles that were coming from the surrounding guys but she felt their envy and longing to swap places. On the outside they pretended they didn't care about intimacy to protect themselves, but on the inside they had yearnings and longings like every other human, too. After all she was living with six such specimens and knew exactly how much they enjoyed their shared moments and how much they missed them when she was away. Turning to Vince she took his hand and wrote _What about you? Are you hurt?_

Of course he nodded and pointed at the hand she still held in hers. Terror smiled, raised his hand and pressed a gentle kiss on his palm. _Anywhere else?_ Manny nodded again and with a whimsical grin pointed at his lips. The surrounding men were howling with laughter, she saw them from the corner of her eyes. With a grin she turned to Rage and signed "tell him to hold still," then turned back to Vince. He was bare-chested so she put her hand on the nape of his neck to pull him down some, then ever so slowly she rose up on her tiptoes. When their lips were merely an inch apart she stopped. She could feel the tension in him building, the longing to be kissed. After a moment she took a deep breath and closed the remaining inch. The instant their lips met and the men around them held their breath, she blew a vibrating raspberry kiss on his mouth. He startled with widened eyes but before he could react any further she gave him a little peck on his lips and soundlessly joined in the laughter around her.

"Dude," Rage clapped Vince on the shoulder, "you just got your first original Terror-zurp. You can feel honored, man."

"Does she do that regularly?"

"Yep, if you banter her for it – ask Agony and Rev."

Vince smiled. Damn, that woman had style. A kiss was what he had expected, what any bar chick would have given him, but getting a raspberry blown – he watched her stretching. That was one sexy body but the scars were unsettling him. What hell had she been through to be so scarred? Anyway, she seemed to be fun and he couldn't wait to spend more time with her. When he and the guys had started betting who would get to date her first, nobody knew anything about her. Now, after the few days the IA had been here, it became more and more obvious that she wasn't some chick you fooled around with. She had skills, humor, backbone and had just proofed she had style. She was a woman you brought home to your parents and damn if he wasn't ready to settle down.

Two and a half hours later the Rangemen on deck plus the mission team were waiting in the jam-packed conference room on five for the daily morning meeting.

"Damn. Did you see the video feet of Terror sparring?"

"Yeah man. That Agony and Revenge must be fucking dolls to drop like that."

"You're babbling such shit, Junior." Binkie said annoyed. "I was there and the two of them are anything but dolls. But that Terror – fuck – she was like a steam hammer. I've never seen anyone fight like that. A hundred that she can bring every single one of us down."

"I'm in man. She was fucking hot, especially after she lost that tank."

"Yeah, she was so hot that it catapulted Vince and Manny off their treadmills." Sad laughed. "You recovered Vince or do you need another smoochy?"

Vince made a kissy face in his direction. "You're just jealous Sad 'cuz I can still feel her hot lips on me."

"Fuck. Seeing her just in Gi-bottoms and bra made me so fucking hard it was painful."

"Did you see all those scars on her front and back? The words – that were brandings. What kind of pervert would do that to a woman."

"Yeah, I hear you; especially those kinda words."

"Perhaps she was captured. As the tracker of the group she's probably on her own a lot."

"Guess that's why Agony and Revenge are chained to her."

"I'd let myself be chained to her any day of the week. Those tits and ass – yowza – I think I'll treat me to a taste of them."

"Stop that shit, Junior. Fuck man, what's wrong with you? You heard what the Boss said. She's to be treated with respect otherwise he will sit back and watch Rodríguez reduce you to powder."

"After seeing her this morning, I'm sure she can ram him into the ground all by herself."

"Talk for yourself, pussy." Junior came back. "A real man won't even notice her Barbie doll blows. After all, she can't risk breaking a finger nail."

"What do you think about the way they were interacting at the meeting the day before?" Harvey asked. He was new at Rangeman Boston, fresh out of the Army and still had trouble to adjust to the life as civillian.

"Dunno," came from Ace. "How can they respect a commander that is so lax around them? I mean - ok - sometimes I think the boss has some anal tendencies but he scares the shit outta me and I would never question or otherwise disrespect him."

At that moment Ram came through the door into the packed room. "Why do you think you have to fear someone to respect him as commander?" He asked while he worked his way through the men to his reserved seat. Ram was well respected by the men of each branch; many of them had been trained by him at one point and frequently asked him for advice. It was also well known that he was one of the employees of the first hour and a highly demanded sniper with the same rank and clearance level as the core team.

"Come on, Ram. Would you follow commands from someone who is joking around with you?"

"Sure. Whether I respect someone and follow him blindly has nothing to do with his ability to make me fear the consequences if not. It has all to do with whether I trust him to make the right decision in a split second that saves my life." Ram stated calmly. "I trust Ranger to do that so I follow his command blindly and I trust Pain to do that 'cause if he couldn't his team wouldn't be so successful. Besides each one of the Inferna Angelus has leader qualities himself – they don't need a strict command to keep in line."

"How comes you know so much about them?" Harvey asked.

"They saved my ass – twice."

"Was the woman with them?" Sad asked eagerly.

"The second time, yes. Led us through a labyrinth of hostile troops without ever making contact. She's another one I'd follow blindly anytime of the day."

"How the fuck is she doing it what with being deaf and mute? She can neither hear nor communicate for heaven's sake."

Ram didn't answer, he couldn't. Back then he was in no condition to follow the team's interaction, his memories fuzzy. But what he could remember was Terror's tender care when she caressed his face and held his hand while Furor or V cleaned his wounds and changed their dressing. When she had guard duty at their camp and he awoke from a febrile nightmare she was there, sitting next to him, brushing his sweaty hair out of his face. She was always there, smiling at him, and every time he was flooded with a sensation of peace and confidence. He fell in love with her back then but that wasn't something he would share with anybody. Perhaps she would give him the chance to take her out for dinner. He didn't care that she couldn't talk or hear him; they would find a way. Coming back to the present he heard Ice speaking.

"I heard it was her who calmed Rodríguez down after he attacked Bobby. One of the waitresses said he was totally out of control. Ripped the basins from the walls and stood there amidst the water that was shooting out of the pipes in the wall. They had everything on video feed."

"Fucking Rodríguez. Before long he will kill one of us. Curious how Ranger will excuse that one." Junior mumbled.

Ram leveled a glare at him. What he wouldn't give to knock some sense into this idiot but everything around Rodríguez's Muerte persona was top secret. "Junior, over the past week I've heard repeatedly how you made demeaning comments about Rodríguez. If you don't stop that you get tossed out of the mission team."

"And why is that?" Junior challenged.

"Because I outrank you and I won't accept that kind of disrespect. I don't know what your problem is but I've known Rodríguez for a long time. He has served this country for many, many years. Take a seat, Zero, and shut the fuck up. If you can't do that, then leave the room and don't come back."

When the door opened, every head turned to see Bobby and Rodríguez enter. With that the relaxed atmosphere was gone and the men waited silently for the core team to arrive. "The two of you ok?" Ram asked silently when Bobby took his seat next to him. Bobby looked at him and with a small smile nodded yes. Rubén had already talked to Jack who advised to go to Cedar Creed and offered to come with him. After the meeting he would call Dr. Thompson and ask for his opinion but right now everything indicated residential treatment at Cedar Creek. He would love to go with him, to support him; especially now that they were getting closer with every passing day. But that was Rubén's call. If he wanted to go alone to proof himself, he would respect that and stay back. Besides he belonged to the mission team and his medic skills and expertise were probably needed. He needed to talk to Ranger and Pain about that before he asked Rubén whether he wanted him to come with him.

The meeting flowed smoothly. They went over the alarms of the last 24 hours, the day's installations and check-ups were reviewed and lastly the planned takedowns discussed. Ranger was about to finish when there was a knock at the door and Terror entered, along with Furor, Rage, Vengeance, Agony and Revenge. "Gentlemen" Terror signed as Rev took a position across from her while translating her greeting. She had brought a small stool on which she climbed to come at least on eye level with most of the men. The moment she turned her front to her audience there were loud catcalls and mews. Her still damp hair was braided to pigtails and she wore fresh black gi-bottoms and a tight fitted pink spaghetti top. On the front of the top were in black the outlines of a naked busty upper body, perfectly fitted to her own curves and across the breasts stood 'Wanna taste?..."

"Hot damn, yes Beautiful," Lester called while he ogled the curvaceous outlines across from him. T lifted her index finger at him before she turned and showed the men her backside. There with pouty lips at the end was printed "…then catch me if you can". The men burst out in laughter and Lester became a wicked gleam in his eyes. Waggling his eyebrows at her he called across the table "I take that as a challenge, Beautiful". She was glad she knew him or otherwise his predatory look would have scared her.

"Enough!" Ranger barked, working hard not to smile himself. "As announced earlier the mission team has its first physical evaluation today and Terror is your drill master, jury and judge. T, they are all yours." He said, turning to Terror so she could read his lips. "Please keep them alive enough for monitor duty." The surrounding men paled a little at that.

"Ok guys." Terror's hands started to move and Rev's deep melodious voice sounded through the room. "We'll proceed as follows: You'll be divided in four teams. Lester, Ram, Vince, Ice and Scar – Team Blue. Bobby, Zip, Binkie, Willow and Bull – Team Red. Woody, Zero, Snake, Ace and Harvey – Team Green. Cal, Junior, Sad, Knock and Scotch – Team Yellow. Rage, Agony, Rev and I will divide on the four teams to record your performance; Furor and V will regularly supervise your physical health. We start with a four mile run. Each team will have pulse, heart rate and oxygen level checked before they leave and when they get back. The Teams will start with 15 minutes delay and I want the four miles finished in twenty minutes or less. After that you'll hit the gym. Push-ups: at least 100 reps in two minutes then two minutes recovery. Sit-ups: again at least 100 reps in two minutes; two minutes recovery. Pull-ups: two sets à 25 reps, no time limit, between the two sets you'll either do a slow jog or brisk walk – max two minutes. After each team finished I'll do an intense stretching session with them to check your flexibility. After lunch we'll move to the track on the compound for the LSD and CHI testing. The LSD – Long Slow Distance will be maximum distance in 60 minutes at a comfortable pace. That means I want you to talk comfortably in short sentences or phrases, drawing breath between phrases. If you can't speak, you are working too hard, and if you can speak continually, you are not working hard enough. The CHI – Continuous High Intensity will be three reps of fifteen minutes at 90-95% with ten minutes recovery time in between. While recovering, keep moving at low intensity, either at a slow jog or brisk walk. Do not come to a complete stop. Furor and V will check your pulse, heart ratio and oxygen level before and after each test respectively repetition. And if that wasn't enough to wear you down we'll end this beautiful day with the Illinois Agility Test where I'd be impressed with a start-finish in 15.2 seconds or less." Terror smiled after she finished.

The Rangemen stared at her in total silence not sure whether they had heard her right.

She rose an eyebrow, still smiling, and then held up a clipboard. "We," she motioned to her team, "do these things regularly. On this clipboard are my last personal test results from a month before we came here. The person who is closest to my results or even better will get the chance for a little taste of either me or V – whomever he prefers." She added with a wink. That broke the silence with enthusiastic exclamations until a loud whistle broke them out of their daydreaming.

"I'm not finished. Tomorrow we'll do a 16 mile hike in full gear with 60 lbs packs, ending at the trainings compound. The teams will start with 30 minutes delay. At the compound you will directly enter the shooting tests at the Tactical Firearms Training Center. First on ground level with moved objects, then with a small sniper rifle on the top of one of the buildings again with moved objects. After that you'll change to the shooter alley with fixed targets at 100 yards, 500 yards, 1000 yards and 2000 yards – fifty reps at each distance. The aim is accuracy. The third day we will create a demanding hostage situation and the teams's assignment will be to get in, free the hostages and get out with minimal to no casualties on both sides. You will be judged from the moment you get knowledge of the individual situation. Aim is to assess your abilities under high stress regarding teamwork, command and subordination, adaption at hostile situations and small unit tactics. After that we'll go back here for some sparing time. We'll want to see you spare with each other as well as with us. On the morning of the fourth day there'll be the big kick or kiss. Any questions?"

"At the beginning you said that you'll be accompanying one of the teams. Does that mean you'll carry a 60 lbs pack, too?" Lester asked challenging with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Of course, Les. Or do you offer to carry mine?"

His face fell for a second in astonishment. "That's 60% of your body weight; you are fucking crazy, you know that Beautiful?" A kissy face was all he got as response. "Meeting in the lobby in 30 minutes," Terror signed with a smile before she hopped down her stool and she and her team left the room.

The morning went by quickly and soon it was time for the lunch-break. Everybody had done well though Terror could tell differences in the amount of strain it cost the men to achieve the set goals, especially at the second set of pull-ups. To keep up moral, she had voluntarily took part in all exercises which just increased the respect the men felt for her. Giving everyone a two hour break to rest, she made her way to the conference room on five to meet with Furor, Rage, V, Agony and Rev.

"Hey," she signed grinning. "does anyone of you have a set of spare-arms? These ain't do it anymore," she dangled her arms. "Guess, I shouldn't have rumbled with you earlier."

"Aaaaw… does tiny terror tiger ail?" Rev said with mock sympathy.

"Tiny terror tiger?" Furor frowned.

"Yeah man. That's what Muerte called her when we found him at Cape May. Damn, I thought T would strangle him when he didn't stop baiting her."

"Hehe, tiny terror tiger, Pain will love that."

"So what's the verdict, Angel?"

"They are good. We won't have to start as low as I feared. From what I saw so far I'd say the Miami and Boston guys are the weakest link. Since Ranger is mostly here in Trenton they probably are a little lax when it comes to their training. I'd say we put them on a general endurance, calisthenics and strength training to get them on par with the rest. Here from Trenton I'd put Bobby, Cal, Zip, Snake, Sad and Ice on training schedules specific to their individual needs. They are already in good shape but lack in minor areas. Any objection, amendments, remarks?

"No boss, we're fine with that."

"Ok, then I'll go down to three and check on Rubén."

"Why are you suddenly calling him Rubén? He'd always been Rodríguez for you."

"Because of something he said yesterday. Remember, he said he doesn't know who he is anymore, that he tried to be Rodríguez as he was before the captivity but it didn't work. Perhaps going by his forename will help him to stop trying to be someone of his past and help him to find his new role in life," she shrugged.

"Good thought," Furor said. "You like him a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah. All those feelings that are coursing through him, I know them all. It feels good to be able to help him. I told him what you did for me when I tried to commit suicide and that I'd do the same for him now. He was floored and felt a little uncomfortable but it was the turning point; to know that I'm at his side and understand him gave him the courage and strength to come out and ask for help."

"He's one lucky guy to have you," Furor whispered in her ear as he hugged her close.

"Hey," she signed smiling when Bobby opened the door. Then she continued with slow motions so he would have a chance to follow her signed words. "I wanted to check on Rubén. Is he ok?"

"Yeah, scares the shit outta me with his new attitude," he smiled. "Come in. He'll be happy to see you."

When T entered the living room a smile spread across Rodríguez's face. He stood up and in a second was in front of her and drew her in a hug. _Hey little one,_ he thought. _Hey big one,_ she pushed her answer into his mind and just like that a feeling of ease flooded over him. He wouldn't ask again how she was doing it because she obviously wasn't ready to talk about it but this little girl, or better woman, truly was magic.

"Are you hungry? Bobby and I have cooked a little something; wanted to surprise you."

T's eyebrows nearly vanished in her hairline. "You cooked? For me?"

"Sure. Somehow we had to thank you for what you did for Rubén yesterday. It's the first time since almost two years that we cooked something together." Bobby's smile could have lit the whole room; his relief and joy written all over his face. Terror stood there frozen. Thoughts born out of fear were racing through her mind, building up steam, heading to a full blown panic. _They cooked for me? What does that mean? What do they want from me? Do I have to reciprocate for that? How? I thought they were gay, why are they interested in me? What if I accept the invitation and they decide they want to have sex with me? I can't do that. I can't. I thought everything was clear; we were friends. Why are they doing that to me?_

"Hey little one, you ok?"

When she didn't react, Rodríguez got worried. "You don't have to eat if you don't want to; we won't be hurt. It was just an idea, a little thank you."

"I'm sorry," was all Terror could sign before tears of despair started to fall. Before Bobby or Rodríguez could say anything she turned on her heel and darted out of the apartment.

"Did I say anything wrong?" Rodríguez frowned confused. "I thought it would be a nice surprise."

"Who knows what this offer triggered in her." Bobby said with an equal frown. "You know best what impact the past can have on your daily life."

"I'm worried, Bobby. She was tortured and raped. Some pervert branded the words whore, bastard and traitor into her skin. I want to make it all better but I have no fucking clue how."

"Hey, stop worrying." Bobby put his hand around Rodríguez neck, squeezed and shook it gently. "She is the reason you are alive and kicking and on your way to a bright future. For me that makes her forever an essential part of both our lives. We will find out who did this to her and if he hasn't paid so far, Ranger, Tank, Les and I will make him pay. And then we'll take that little tiger home with us and heal her wounds."

"I like the sound of that. She's doing so much for me; I need to help her somehow."

Bobby smiled and leaned in to kiss him just when there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, Terror was standing there with Pain right behind her; one of his pan-like hands on her shoulder giving her what seemed like a reassuring squeeze.

"Sorry that I just run away. I'm no good at dealing with touchy-feely things, even more so when they come out of the blue. Guess I panicked a tiny wee bit." she signed, looking lost, all her serenity and aplomb gone.

Bobby looked at her for a moment before he smiled gently. "We have jasmine rice and breast of turkey with a sweet'n sour orange-peach sauce. Want to come in and taste a bite?"

When she nodded, Pain gave her a kiss on her temple and a little push in Bobby's direction. "Enjoy your meal, Angel." He winked and turned to go back to seven.

"Look what was delivered to our door," Bobby said all smiles as he brought Terror into the apartment.

Rodríguez's eyes lit up. "Hey little one, why did you just run away?"

"Doesn't matter," Bobby interrupted. Whatever the reason for T's minor panic attack was, he didn't want her to go back there. "The only thing that counts is she's here now. So how about some lunch? I need nutrition; had one hell of a morning. Some slave driver nearly killed me."

"Really?" Terror signed with a grin. "What did that awful person do to you?"

"Physical screening test, can you believe it? You would think as a core team member and regularly contracted top notch combat medic I would be above that test but nooooo … that annoying person made me run and do push-ups, sit-ups and pull-ups like a lunatic." The whole time while he was talking he was stepping closer and closer until he bend and stood nose to nose with her with an impish gleam in his eyes. "And you wanna know what the doozy was?"

Terror grinned and nodded.

"When I was about to fall straight on my ass 'cause my arms were like jello and I thought I couldn't do one more pull-up for the life of me, she led me hang there and vanished. Do you hear me? She v-a-n-i-s-h-e-d; didn't return for h-o-u-r-s. And when she finally came back, she was wearing a button up shirt and baited me she would open one button for each further pull-up; not just a slave driver but a tease, too." And with that he gripped her, hauled her over his shoulder and laughing started to smack her ass. He knew how to deal with lost souls, how to get them out of the labyrinth of their thoughts and every time he managed to do it he felt on top of the world. Now it seemed he had two of those souls to take care of and it made him happy.

Five minutes before the appointed meeting time for their afternoon exercise, Terror barreled through the door to her apartment, running smack into Rage, recoiling from him against V, pulling her shirt of while stumbling out of her gi-bottoms and vanished into the bedroom. The assembled men looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Guess she had fun," Agony said as he held up her shirt. On the front were various stains in yellow, blue, red, green and something resembling chocolate. Two minutes later T rushed out of the bedroom in fresh clothes and tried to fly past her team. With a well-practiced grip Pain picked her up airborne and pulled her back flush to his chest.

_Not so fast Angel. Tell good ol' Pain why his little princess is glowing with happy,_ Pain thought.

_Rainbow jello with chocolate sauce, _she thought back.

_Rainbow jello with chocolate sauce … that, of course, explains everything. _She felt him shaking with laughter behind her. _So, what do you think? Was I right that it was worth going back and jumping into the cold water?_

_Yes, Dad._

_Good girl,_ he thought and pressed a peck on her neck between her pigtails._ You know we love to have you around us all the time and we miss you like hell when you are away but perhaps it's time for you to fledge and cut the cord from us._

He felt her shiver in his arms. She had come so far since Grief, Furor and he brought her home with them eight years ago but interpersonal relationships still scared her. When Grief died, he promised him to take care of her; to make sure she would one day be able to build a relationship with someone but time was slipping through his fingers. His end was coming, fast, and still she shyed away when men were showing emotions to her she couldn't immediately pigeon-hole as on cordial terms. He needed to talk to Furor. Furor loved her deeply; she was his only family. He would accept the legacy of taking care of her without a second thought. With a sigh he set her down and turned her in his arms. Of course she had read his mind and there were tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. _Damn, sometimes this mindreading really sucked._ That made her smile through her tears.

_You know, I think the two are perfect for training some one-on-one time that goes beyond bantering. They are gay, so there's no need to be scared of them sexually. They are both branded by cruelty in their past, so they have a deeper understanding if sometimes running away seems the only way to deal. And last not least Rubén and you share the same horrid experiences; both being captivated, tortured, raped, sucked into darkness, distraught to a point were suicide seemed the only way out. Perhaps the two of you can give each other an understanding that none of us is capable of giving you._ Pain pressed another kiss on her forehead and let his lips linger. _I love you Angel. All I want for you is to find happiness. _

_I don't want you to die, Pain. What shall I do without you?_

_You will go on, that's what you will do, princess. You will rely on your family and friends and make Grief and me proud while we are partying up there on our private cloud. That's right, Angel, Grief and I will be watching you and we'll be there for you in your dreams whenever you need us. Now enough of this sappy stuff. You need to bully some innocent Rangemen and you can't do that with teary eyes and snotty nose._ With that he let her go and pushed her into the bathroom to freshen up. How he wished he'd seen a doctor earlier so they could have done something against that fucking tumor growing in his brain. Now it was too late and soon he would die. He was lucky that his team let him stay though it was endangering them but they had a long talk after the diagnosis was made and it was an unanimously decision. Everything was prepared, T already bearing the brunt of his work and ready to take full command at a moment's notice. Another unanimously decision – the team wanted her as their new leader with Furor being second in command. There were no words to describe how proud he was of her but he had tried and the DVD would be given to her at the reading of his last will and testament.

"Ok guys, you know the procedure." She signed to the men in front of her. They were at the track on the training compound and the men had lined up in parade rest. "First Furor and V will check you, then I will bully you. If it consoles you, Rage, Agony, Rev and I will stick to you like glue, means we run with you. Remember, this is about distance. You run 60 minutes at comfy speed while you talk to each other in the described way. Each one of you has a gadget on his wrist that is connected to the laptop over there and counts the laps you do. The teams start with five minutes delay so Furor and V have a chance to check everyone thoroughly before and after we're finished. As today morning Team Red starts first so Bobby can assist with the check-ups on the other teams. Any questions?"

The men were silent. _Jeez,_ Terror thought. _Would it hurt to answer?_ "Team Red, step up." Rev sounded her command. "Furor, V, do your job."

The next four and a half hours were spent with running at different intensities broken up by times of low level jogging. The men were exhausted, their shirts and shorts soaked with sweat, their deodorants had long lost their effect and the later it became, the weaker their legs felt, the more the jogging became a brisk walk. The Miami and Boston guys showed the first trouble on the second rep of the CHI. On the last rep Terror, Rage, Agony and Revenge had to push every one of their respective teams to keep up the strain. None of them slacked off on purpose; they simply weren't used anymore to this kind of strain, to their body and mind's overwhelming desire to shut down. They were all still under government contract but mostly their missions were few and far between and you could tell the difference to those few who still regularly went on missions. The kind of training you do, when you just occasionally go in the wind is based on keeping up your strength and reflexes. The longer you are out of business the less you toil if there's no need. Missions show you your weaknesses quite plainly – whether they are physical, mental or skill-wise. Once you're home you put all your effort into resolving those weaknesses before you're called for your next mission. You hit the gym, the shrink, the mats, the shooting alley – whatever; after all you want to survive. The Rangemen didn't come near the amount of training hours the IAs guzzled per day, every day, and that showed. It was Terror's assignment to bring them all on the same level as her team to increase the chance that they would beat the odds of this mission. Sighing she looked over the men scattered on the grass around her, just lying there, breathing against the exhaustion that threatened to overpower them. She hated to wrack them but she needed to get a feeling for the bottom line, for their individual weaknesses and even more important how they handled them. Overcoming insurmountable situations was all about a strong mind.

"Ok guys, time to stand up and face the last exercise of the day." The men groaned as they dragged themselves to their feet, looking anything else but classy; some showing a visible muscle tremor in their legs. "Come on, no whining. You're on the home stretch; just a few more meters. Furor, V, check Team Red. Rev, call Ella and tell her we'll be back in fifty minutes. Ask her to have dinner and the isotonic drinks ready by then. Then call Tank to send the designated drivers over here. I want to get the guys home."

After they were finished, before the men could drag themselves to the waiting SUVs, Terror stopped them one last time. "Don't worry, you are done. I just want to let you know that in the big conference room on two a rich dinner is waiting for you – all courtesy of Ranger and Pain. I know you want nothing more than shower and plan my early demise but I want to see you on two – no exceptions. After all, snuffing me off will be easier well-fed," she smiled encouragingly.

Twenty minutes later the Rangemen couldn't believe their eyes. The long conference table had been morphed into a banquet, bowing under the weight of every culinary delight imaginable, even different desserts. Ranger and Pain were welcoming them but none of the men really noticed; starved as they were, they jumped at the food like a pack of hungry wolves.

"Do you think they heard us at all?" Pain wondered.

Ranger frowned at the sight in front of him. "You would think they're coming back from a three week tour with neither food nor water."

Nobody noticed that none of the IA besides Pain was present or Vengeance slipping into the room some 15 minutes later and walking over to Hal.

"Hal, would you please come with me? T wants to talk to you outside."

Setting his food aside, Hal followed V out of the room. He had given his best today but he knew it wouldn't be enough. He knew it. Fuck, he so wanted to go on this mission. He always had to bear the brunt of jokes and now there was a chance to proof himself, to show the other guys that he in fact was no joke, and he had to fuck up. Before he could continue his internal tirade they entered one of the accounting rooms and Terror and her team were standing in front of him. He found she was great – smart, tenacious, fun, never mean; one more woman that never would bat an eye at him. Damn. Suddenly he heard a male voice in the distance. Revenge was talking while Terror was smiling brightly, her eyes laughing as she signed.

"Hey Hal, you're back with us now? For a moment I thought we'd lost you."

Shit. He could feel the heat rising in his cheek; sure a great glowing tomato red he was sporting there.

"No worries, I get constantly lost in my mind. If you can keep a secret – that's why I have Agony and Rev with me. It's a fulltime job to keep me on track," she winked. Hal smiled assuaged. Did he mention that he liked her? A lot?

"Hal, the reason I wanted to talk to you in private is your today's test result."


	15. Chapter 15 Coming Clean

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 15 – Coming Clean**

"Listen Terror, I know I fucked up but I really, really want to go on this mission. I promise I will follow any training schedule you dish out if you just give me one more chance, please." Hal didn't care that he was begging; he wanted on this mission more than anything in the world.

"Hal, I don't know what you are talking about. I was just about to tell you that you finished with the day's best test result."

Silence. Hal stared at her as if she'd spoken some foreign language. Of course she could read all the thoughts racing through his mind and they made her like him even more. He wasn't one of those super macho men who always had a witty comment at hand and their thoughts in the gutter but a very sensitive guy who silently suffered under the constant joking that was done on his costs.

"What I wanted to talk about is the way of your reward – you remember, I promised the winner of the day a taste of either me or V. Anyway I knew what Lester would want, namely me naked on a desk covered in chocolate that he licks from my bare skin. But I have a feeling that's not what you want."

The shade of red Hal was meanwhile sporting was telling her exactly how uncomfortable this talk was making him. "So how about we plan a fun afternoon or evening instead? I don't know what you like but we could go hiking or inline skating or horseback riding or whatever you want."

When Hal still remained silent and even the chaos of thoughts in his head made no sense, Terror let Rev ask him whether he preferred to spend some alone time with V. Hal's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he blurted out "No. No really, I like girls." as he took on a shade of red that made every one worry about an aneurysm.

"Breathe, Hal. It's ok," Rev tried to calm him. "You take your time and think about what you want to do and then you tell Agony, T or me after this whole testing is over, deal?" he smiled encouragingly at him. From the few times he had met him he really liked the kid, but jeez that boy needed to relax some.

A few minutes later the seven of them entered the conference room that looked a tad like a battle field. This time Agony took position across from T to be her voice.

"Gentlemen," Terror looked around the room and took everything in. "You stink like hell and eat like pigs if I may say so." A burb and the sound of a head getting hit was the only answer. "Anyway, you did well today, far better than I thought you would. At the end I'll have a one-on-one with each one of you to discuss your individual weaknesses and training schedules but for now, all I want to do is clap my hands – you were GREAT!" And with that the whole IA team started clapping. "Regarding today morning's challenge…" every Rangeman pricked his ears "… the winner is Hal – congratulations Hal."

"What the fuck. You wanna tell me that pussy had better test results than me?" came Junior's disbelieving voice; he prided himself on his fitness.

"Correct, Junior. Now, everybody's dismissed. We'll meet tomorrow at 0800 hours in the lobby with your backpacks ready to be weight." When Terror and the other IAs grabbed plates to scratch together some leftovers, the door to the conference room opened and Ella came in.

"Hello my dear," she directly went over to T. "I know you six had a hard day and are probably starved. Before I brought that food down," she frowned at the disarray of leftovers, "I separated some for you six. It's being kept warm in the break room on four and Luis, my husband, is protecting it with his life. Please go upstairs and enjoy your meal, you more than deserve it." She smiled warmly at them. "And Terror, I know you had some hectic first days here but whenever you want and are ready, you are welcome on nine – your room is waiting for you." With that she left the room as silently as she had come in.

As the IA were sitting in the break room savoring Ella's cooking skills, Ranger came in and asked Pain and Terror to meet with him and Tank up on ten in his apartment whenever they were ready. That's how they found themselves in Ranger's sanctum an hour later after they had finished eating, showered, and had a short review of T's assessment of the day's events.

"Thanks for coming," Ranger started after they took seats in his living room. "The reason Tank and I wanted to talk to you in private is that Rodríguez will most probably leave for Cedar Creek in a few days." He took a sip of his water and looked at Tank. T worked hard not to roll her eyes; she already knew what he wanted and despised the fact that he tried to play games by moving the conversation in a certain direction before getting to the point. As if they could be blinded. Of course she couldn't accuse him, how could he know that she could read minds, but people's 'games' were something she hated. It made her lose her trust in them. If you constantly knew what the individuals around you thought, how they held back, lied, played you for their advantage, what they really thought in comparison to how they acted - there weren't many people left she liked. Truth be told her team that was her family and a few other selected person were the only ones. Trying to be polite she concentrated back to Ranger speaking.

"So I have to insist that you tell Tank and me what you are holding back, Terror," his voice was calm and detached and but his thoughts left no doubt about his intentions if she didn't obey.

"Fat chance," she signed and met his stare head on after Pain had translated for her. Ranger was a good man - a top notch operator, a good friend and she was sure a good boss, too, but for no money in the world would she let him play her. The tricky thing about her mind was, that she couldn't just read one person's thoughts and push her thoughts back to that person but she could do conference calls, too. She was like a fucking control center, connecting minds at will, listening in and pushing thoughts around like others sent texts, emails, facsimiles, you name it. At the moment there was a standing connection between her, Ranger, Tank and Pain on ten as well as the rest of her team three floors down. The moment she read Ranger and Tanks thoughts they were simultaneously pushed forward to her team; the answers she got from those on seven were pushed to Pain; Pain's thoughts to those downstairs; and at the same time she and Pain had to follow the actual conversation and she had to push that downstairs, too; it was a fucking chaos but over the years they all had perfected it and now it was their strongest weapon, the secret of their success, the reason she was constantly protected by Agony and Rev. The Rangemen wondered how she could command the team without being able to hear and talk – well, she heard and talked perfectly, just not with her ears and voicebox.

"Pain," Ranger turned away from T, "we need to be on the same level if this mission shall be successful. I'm not willing to send my men out there if you are holding back information that could cost them their life." Ranger said calmly, turning things as if the IA were hindering the mission's preparation. Terror smiled inwardly. He was getting angry; wasn't used to people defying his command. Pushing her perceptions immediately to her team, she knew that Pain was on the same page when he answered.

"Ranger, that's a mutual thing. You can't expect us to come clean and you yourself are playing your cards close to your chest. You are known for being a very cautious, secretive man but if you want this to work, you need to open up to us. Period. We," he motioned to T and him, "are more than willing to share if we can trust you to do the same."

Ranger's face gave nothing away but he was taken aback. How did they know he was holding back? What exactly did they knew? This was exactly the reason why he didn't do cooperations – they always ended in trouble. He knew he could trust the Inferna Angelus but he didn't like to share, to make himself vulnerable by giving up his wild cards. Looking at his options, he decided to play by their rules.

"When DC contacted me regarding this mission I called Rodríguez to the meeting. Afterwards he immediately told me that something was wrong but I didn't believe him. He kept adamant and when I informed him that I had accepted the mission, he snapped and Muerte attacked me. After that I started to research but nothing surfaced. Three days before you arrived I was informed about the death of two of my informants who investigated the matter for me, the day of your arrival another one died. Their deaths were all declared accidents."

Silence. No need to say anything, the threat was obvious. On seven the IAs were having a heated discussion what this meant in the grand scheme; the arguments being pushed back and forth between the seventh and tenth floor. Terror's head started to pound. Normally that wasn't a problem but with the day she had and the exhaustion already spread through her body, keeping up with the multitude of information was a challenge and she hadn't drunk any of what her team called lovingly 'her magic potion'.

Finally Pain spoke up. "Last night at Bobby's apartment, T already told you that she has some special abilities including the easy rating of others. When we were called to the Inferna Angelus headquarters and told about this mission, we were all surprised. Inferna Angelus, as a condition, is solely operating alone – without exception. We get contracted by the government but are not bound by their instructions; operate by our own rules. Now we were suddenly told - not asked - to not just cooperate with other unknown operators but furthermore to bow to the government's input. That's against the syndicate's code of conduct and the explanation given to us was disputable if not fishy. Next was a meeting with the suits in DC. That's where T's bells started to sound their alarm. There's definitely some kind of treason going on but she couldn't pinpoint what treason exactly, who's the target and who's pulling the strings. What we are sure of is that the suits present at the meeting were just pawns in a bigger scheme with no knowledge about them being used."

Ranger and Tank sat there silently listening.

"Fuck," Tank cussed and rubbed his bald head while Ranger was obviously already planning ahead, thinking about how to get to the information. "We need to talk to Rodríguez," he finally said.

"No," Terror signed. "He's not to be stressed any further."

"Why are you so goddamn protective of him?" This time Ranger didn't even try to hold his anger back. Three people who had trusted him were dead, leaving families behind, children, grandchildren. He wanted to know why they had to die and he was finished with being patient.

"'Cause equal what you saw last night, he's far from being out of the woods. The constant fighting between him and Muerte is threatening to overwhelm him. Muerte is playing with him, taunting him, tormenting him. If he doesn't stop that soon, I fear that Rubén will come apart at the seams and nobody can know how much that will throw him back in his progress. Being questioned by you will stress him. He will want to remember but can't, will hate himself for not being able to help, Muerte will rub salt into that wound, they will fight, Muerte will tantalize him even more because he's getting a hard on from other people's suffering. Do I have to continue? What if your questioning is causing a break-down he won't recover from? Could you live with that? And what about Bobby? You call him your friend. Are you willing to risk your friend's happiness for the minor chance of some information?"

"Listen Terror," Ranger's face was void of any emotion, his voice calm and quiet; he was emanating danger. "I respect you for your commitment to protect Rodríguez but we need any information we can get, equal how small and insignificant they seem. Is there any chance we can reduce the stress of being questioned for him?" Ranger really respected her, each day more, but at the moment he had to think about his men and their safety.

T sighed and leaned back against the cushion of the couch she was sitting on. In her head was a jumble of thoughts and voices from her six teammates discussing the options. She listened to them, rated them, and dismissed them. She knew how to get what they all wanted but she liked Rubén, she liked him a lot, and the thought of perhaps hurting him made her sick. They had such a wonderful lunch break with Bobby including the ultimate rainbow jello food fight; she thought she had to suffocate from laughter. Listening in again to the others's thoughts, she had to realize they weren't any closer to a solution so she sighed a last time before sitting up again. "This is how we will do it," she started.


	16. Chapter 16 Talking To Muerte

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 16 – Talking To Muerte**

Knocking at Bobby's door she looked down at her watch and saw that it was already ten p.m. – no wonder that she was dog-tired. It was only their third day at Rangeman but she felt like it had been months and she was ready for some quality vacation time. After a minute Bobby finally opened the door, sporting sleepy hair and eyes and rumpled boxers.

"Sorry for waking you Bobby but can I come in for a minute?" she slowly signed to him. She followed him into his kitchen where he grabbed some juice out of the fridge and motioned for her to talk. "Bobby, Ranger called Pain and me up to ten to talk and it turned out that he wants to question Rubén about the events two months ago that in my opinion led to Muerte's recurrence. I told him no but he stays adamant. Do you know for sure that Rubén will go to Cedar Creek and if yes, when?"

The moment T mentioned Rubén's name Bobby was wide awake. "Esme, I won't allow that. We both know that what we see at the moment is most probably just a manic phase; in reality he's hanging on by a thread."

"I know Bobby and I'm backing you all the way but your friend Ranger isn't the most reasonable person in the world." That made Bobby snort. "Listen to my suggestion, ok?" Terror continued. Bobby was getting better and better in reading/signing ASL and she didn't have to go slow anymore. "I won't let Ranger bother Rubén, equal what he thinks. But to keep the peace I offered that I would question him if certain conditions are met."

"What conditions?"

"Firstly, it's just you and me who will be present. Secondly, the moment Rubén wants to stop we will stop – no matter how much or little information we dug up. Thirdly, there will be just this one try, after that nobody will bother him again."

After a moment Bobby rubbed his high and tight and sighed, "ok, I will wake him up and we'll ask him. If he agrees we'll do it; if not, Ranger can come down and have a talk with me if he wants to." That made T smile. Bobby would do anything for Rubén – even start WW III, or a fight with Ranger. That was one of the reasons why she enjoyed their company so much; their caring natures, the love and understanding between the two of them were like balm on her soul.

Fifteen minutes later Terror, Bobby and Rodríguez were on their way up to ten. Rubén insisted to go upstairs and let Ranger, Tank and Pain be present and ask whatever they want. As T suspected he wanted to help. When he quickly jumped into the shower before they left, she told Bobby to take a tranquilizer with him in case Muerte appears and can't be controlled. The fact that Bobby didn't even bat an eye told her that he had the same thought as she had – this had bad idea written all over and they'd do whatever it took to protect their friend.

"Rod, can you remember what you did the week before you started to feel worse two months ago?" Ranger asked.

"It was a normal work week. I did a load of searches, several takedown plans and that Thursday I went to DC to negotiate Snake's contract that was up for renewal." Terror could feel the tension in his body as if it was in her own. Well, well, wasn't it wonderful to have a tricky mind? She couldn't just read thoughts but also felt everything the person she was connected to felt; she was literally in their minds.

"Do you remember what searches you did? Triggered one of the FTAs something in you?"

"No, I can't remember but I checked my blog. They were all simple FTAs, no high-bonds, and prospective clients in the Trenton area. I reread all the searches but nothing sounded any alarm bells nor did I feel worse afterwards." The anger was raising in him and Terror in equal measure. They'd both been interrogated, tortured and abused; any kind of dominance imposed on them, even by a friend and in a simple questioning like this, immediately triggered the fight in them.

"What about your activities outside work?"

"I don't do recreation." Terror could feel Rubén's hands tremble, clench and unclench. His anger started to become rage. Over the years she had learned to keep herself detached, to let all thoughts and feelings pass through her mind and not let herself get captivated by them. The situation right now was testing that ability. She was powerless against her own anger and in addition felt Ruben's increasing rage in her. In the background of Rubén's mind she could hear Muerte singing some kind of children rhyme, tantalizing his other self, having fun while in the foreground Rubén was trying to concentrate, to remember and at the same time to fight the rage burning through him and the desire to attack Ranger. She tried to concentrate on the memories he managed to conjure up but Muerte's fucking singing was distracting and the rage burned in her so all-consuming that she wanted nothing more than banging Ranger's head against the coffee table.

"But you met with Bobby, didn't you? The two of you had become closer again, right?"

That was it. Rubén jumped out of the recliner he was in and straight into Ranger's face who stumbled backwards. Before anything else could happen, T had squeezed herself between them and pushed against Rubén. She had no hopes of really moving him, but as expected he reacted to her touch and didn't advance any further. Totally out of control he screamed at Ranger, "I met with Bobby because he was the only thing that kept me from killing myself. While you were feigning the big bad mercenary, he was the one who could still give me a sense of peace and acceptance. He was the reason I kept going on. He cared while you did not. Where have you and all the other's been? I felt like suffocating, I needed you but you weren't there. You were too busy with your own lives and making money. And don't start with me hiding. I hid from Bobby, too, but he was adamant. He kept coming and coming, bugging me with small things; he didn't give up though I was anything but a fun date. You gave up on me. And don't you ever dare to affront Esme or you will have to answer me and Muerte. She's a tiny fruit drop in comparison to you, she hasn't seen me in six years, she knows me altogether for maybe four months, but she's here for me and pledged to stand by my side and not give up on me. Why can she do that and you not? You are just interested in yourself and your fucking success."

After he had screamed himself hoarse you could have heard a pin drop in Ranger's living room. Ranger was shocked and hurt by the accusations but the longer he thought about Rodríguez's words the more he felt ashamed. Rodríguez was right, he had given up on him. Convincing him to take over the contract negotiation had nothing to do with being a good friend but all with smart business thinking. As Ranger found Tank's eyes he saw that his second in command was feeling the same; there was a lot to make up for.

"Ranger," Pain spoke up. When Ranger looked at him, he saw that Terror was signing. Rage was written all over her face. "You had your chance; that was it." Bobby was standing next to her, his attention focused on Rodríguez. When he turned his head, Ranger was aghast at the ice cold stare that Bobby sent his way.

"It's ok, I won't object. Rodríguez," Ranger turned to the man still standing a few feet away from him, breathing heavily, "I apologize for the anguish I've caused you. You are right with everything you said. I'm sorry for not being a better friend to you and I hope that one day soon you will give me the chance to sit down with you and clear the air. I may have failed you as friend but I meant what I said the night before; I will support and encourage you in everything you want to do to become better again."

Rubén turned back to the recliner, sat down, took a sip of water and breathed slowly in and out. "Esme, question him." Terror looked at Rubén scrutinizing. "Are you sure?" she signed. "No, I'm scared, but you said he won't do anything to me or Bobby and you for that matter. I can't remember anything but perhaps he can."

"Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?" She heard Tank ask the others. The big man had been silent so far but now he was worried. _Pain, explain it to him_ she pushed her friend.

While Pain explained to Ranger and Tank what Rubén had asked from her, she turned back to the man in the recliner and crouched down in front of him. "Rubén, I meant what I said. Muerte doesn't want to hurt you. I don't know why he's behaving like an ass but he's no threat to you, Bobby or me and I won't let him attack Pain, Ranger or Tank, I promise."

"I know. You are the only one who can control him."

She smiled. "Oh, I can't control him; he just wants to have a coffee date with me and knows his chances are better if he behaves." If this should work, she needed Rubén to relax.

That made him chuckle. "And what if I want to have a coffee date with you?" he asked.

"Well, I guess you would have to discuss that with Bobby – I don't want to be strangled by an envious former-and-soon-to-be-boyfriend," she smiled.

"Fat chance," Bobby chimed in. "If there's a chance for a coffee date with you, our amigo here and I will be jockeying for position."

When the three of them finally stopped laughing and looked up, Pain, Ranger and Tank were watching them with confused expressions.

_What's so funny, Angel?_ Pain thought.

_Oh, nothing, we were just discussing our coffee dates,_ she smiled.

_How do you want to do this? Do you want to sign and I translate?_ he asked.

_Until Muerte's persona is firmly in control I will just do mind-work. After that I will sign and you can translate for Ranger and Tank._

Pain turned to the two man. "T will now help Rubén to relax so that Muerte can take control. Don't ask how, just accept that she's capable of doing it."

_Ok big one, now it's just the two of us,_ she thought. _The goal is to ease you into a state of deep relaxation. Once you are there, I will ask Muerte to resurface and talk to him. When we are finished, I will bring you back. It has nothing to do with hypnosis; it's simply something I can do without knowing whether there's a name for it. _She waited a moment to let him stomach that._ I will now straddle your lap simply 'cause it's more comfortable for me. Then I will put my hands around your neck and lean my forehead to yours_, she thought while she climbed to him on the recliner and found a comfortable position. After their foreheads connected she concentrated on his thoughts and feelings. _Just breathe with me and try to relax. _The voice he heard in his mind had become a very calming tone. For several minutes they did nothing else but breathe together as he felt the well-known ease spread through him. Their breathing pattern started to get in line and Rubén felt more and more of his tension falling away. _When I count to three, you will feel a deep calm wash over you. I want you to embrace it, to let yourself be carried away by it. You will feel like lying on a comfy couch, some B&J next to you, watching the happenings in this room from a safe distance. One, two, three._ She pushed the desired feeling of calm into his mind and felt him accommodate a state of deep relaxation. _Don't be scared,_ she thought, _I'll be with you the whole time. Now I will lose my hands around your neck and let them slowly glide down your shoulders and arms until they reach your hands. I will lay your hands on my thighs and there they will stay while I talk to Muerte._ She did as said until both their hands were lying on her legs. _If you want to come back to the present, just squeeze my thighs and I will take you back._ For several minutes she stayed in that position; straddling him, their hands and foreheads connected, just breathing with him. Then she started again to push her thoughts into his mind. _Now, Muerte, I will sit back and I want you to come to the surface and talk to me. I want you to show Rubén your respect by not distressing him but instead letting him peacefully watch our conversation._ When Muerte started to gain control she could feel the differences in their personalities. Where Rubén was considerate, gentle and caring, he was heedless, callous and indifferent. She had sat back and now watched as Muerte settled into Rubén's relaxed body. When he opened his coal black eyes, he smiled one of his grimaces.

"Hola chica, nice to see you again. I hope you like my new softer me." he growled.

Ranger and Tank were speechless. They just saw Rodríguez fall into what looked like a deep sleep without ever one word being spoken and now he opened his eyes but they were coal black and Muerte was sitting in front of them.

"I'm impressed," she signed back and heard Pain translating every word for the two Rangemen. "Tell me, why are you doing this growling and grimacing shit instead of talking normal and smiling for real? It would make you so much more likeable."

"Who needs to be liked?" he growled back. Too bad he couldn't trick her with his hard demeanor since she could read his mind. In the end he and Rubén were the same person with the same longings but that wasn't the point now.

"Muerte, you know what the subject is. We need to find out what triggered your recurrence after you – let's say slept for the last five years. Do you know what the trigger was?"

"No."

"Can you narrow down when it probably happened?"

"No."

"Are you trying to work with me here?"

"Yes."

"Why can't you narrow it down?"

"My memories are fuzzy. It took some time before I was … what … awake enough? Anyway, the first real memory is the attack on my pal Ranger over there." He waved his hand in mock cheerfulness.

"Stop that shit, Muerte."

"Uh oh, is tiny terror tiger pms-ing? Or perhaps you need a real man to take care of you."

_Muerte, stop. I don't know why you are behaving like such an ass and I don't have the time to find out. I'd like us to become friends in the long run but that won't be possible if you don't stop baiting me. Are we clear?_ she thought.

Muerte watched her, assessing her, and then nodded. "I really don't know," he said. "I can just describe it as a feeling of menace that woke me if you can call it that but it took me some time to become lucid. Then suddenly it was like a bolt was shooting through me. I opened my eyes and looked straight into Ranger's face and I felt danger assaulting us from every side. So I did the only thing I could think of and attacked him."

"Whom do you mean with us?"

"Rodríguez and me."

"Are you aware of the mission Ranger accepted that day?"

"Yes. It was stupid. Something's wrong. The mission means danger."

"Why do you think that?"

"My pinkie finger tells me so," he smirked at her.

"Stop that shit."

"You're a real party pooper, you know that?"

"Rubén is fully aware of every one of your thoughts and actions. Is it the same vice versa? Can you remember for him what happened that Thursday in DC when he met some suits for the purpose of contract negotiations?"

"No. That kind of memory sharing first started the day we attacked Ranger."

"The day you attacked Ranger, Muerte. Rubén would never have done it and is suffering under your actions."

"He's a wimp."

"No, he's not. He's a very gentle, caring man but most of all, he's your host. You are born out of him. Without him, there's no you. If you drive him insane and he succeeds in killing himself, you will die, too. As I told him, I now tell you – the two of you have to find a way to share this body peacefully."

"Ay, Captain."

T let her head hang for a moment. The urge to strangle that idiot in front of her was overwhelming. A thought passed her mind and she looked up at him.

"Do you have memories of the time before your captivity? Do you remember who trained you? Who sent you on that last mission? Why you or Rubén wanted to switch to the Inferna Angelus?"

Muerte just looked at her. He couldn't remember any of that. Rodríguez might not remember him but he remembered his own person. He, Muerte, remembered nothing at all. It was like he'd never existed; like his existence began that day three weeks ago when he attacked Ranger – whom, by the way, he didn't remember, too. He didn't knew who he was, he had a constant feeling of menace pulsing in him but didn't know why, he was scared.

_It's ok, Muerte,_ T thought. There was no need to say it out loud and by that pointing out his fear. _It's because Rubén's subconscious mind is blocking the memories and you are just a part of him – no separate person._

_Nice of you to shove it in my face, Tiny. Perhaps we should get rid of our audience and I show you what pleasures this not-separate-person is capable of giving you._

_Why are you doing that, Muerte? Constantly pushing my limits?_

_'Cause I like to tickle your self-control._

_No my dear, you are scared and you feel lonesome but with your behavior you will just achieve to be more scared and lonesome._ She was just guessing but the split second his black eyes widened she knew she was right. _How about we talk about that when the mission is over and we have that cup of coffee you so much want to drink with me._ He didn't answer but the fact that he neither growled, nor grimaced, nor made a witty comment was consent enough for her.

"Now please back down so I can get Muerte back from his peaceful island," she signed. When she felt his control slip away until nothing was left, she put her forehead back to Rubén's and started to bring her breathing in line with him. Slowly she began to relax. When she felt their relaxation being on the same level, she pushed her thoughts into his mind. _Hey big guy. That was some nice, peaceful talk, wasn't it? Everything is fine, nobody was hurt, you are safe. Bobby is right next to you to your left side, I'm still on your lap, my hands on yours, Ranger and Tank are sitting behind me and Pain is to your right. I will now slowly count to three and then squeeze your hands. When you feel my squeeze, I want you to open your eyes. One, two, three._ She squeezed his hands and when she pulled her head away a bit, was greeted by warm, brown eyes.

"Thank you, that was amazing," Rubén whispered. She felt the turmoil of feelings in him and leaned her forehead back to his. _Anytime, anywhere – just say the word, _she thought. He and Bobby immediately left after that.

Terror felt nauseated. Her head was pounding badly, her vision was slightly fuzzy around the edges and she felt dizzy.

"I guess, you won't tell me how you did that, right?" Ranger asked her, still taken aback.

Shaking her head no, she took a sip of water and immediately raced to the kitchen she had seen earlier. Before anyone could react, the men heard her becoming violently sick. Pain was at her side in a second and soothingly rubbed her back while he held her hair. _It's ok, Angel,_ he thought. When she was finished, he helped her flush her mouth and drew her into a gentle embrace. "Furor, come upstairs and bring some Blue. T got sick … Yeah, I know … No, she badly needs a few days off … I know, I will take care of it," he said into his phone. Ranger and Tank were standing in the entrance, watching them. "Furor is coming up," he nodded to Ranger who turned and went to the apartment's door.

"Is everything alright with her?" Tank asked with a nod to the limp form in Pain's arms.

Pain raised an eyebrow at him. "Does it look that way? Ah, sorry man, I didn't mean to sound pissed at you, I'm just worried."

"No sweat, I understand. I'm worried about her, too. I may not be a big talker but she's done some amazing stuff these last three days and I doubt I will ever in my life forget what I was just privileged to witness. She's a truly outstanding woman."

Pain looked at Tank standing in the entrance. With his 6'6" he was just an inch shorter but much more massive than he himself. T had told him what a sensitive character Tank was, now he understood what she meant. A moment later Ranger appeared, followed by the complete rest of the IA. Raising his eyebrow once more he asked "what the fuck are you all doing here?"

"Yo, you didn't really think we'd stay downstairs when our little Angel is sick," Rage frowned at him.

"Mi angelito," Agony said softly as he extracted her from Pain, lifted her bridal style and sat down on one of the bar stools. T hung limp in his arms with her head tucked into the crook of his neck.

"Hey Angel, I need you to lift your head to me, please," Furor was standing in front of them. He had brought a bottle of water and dispersed some powder in it that turned the water into a screeching blue. When he got no reaction, he started to caress her face and felt her temperature. "You are cold, Angel. I know you feel awfully sick but in a few minutes you will be better. Com'on Angel, just a little sip." As T reached for the bottle and lifted her head, Ranger and Tank startled. Her brown skin looked pale and waxen and her hand was shaking so badly that Agony had to take the bottle and help her with the first sips.


	17. Chapter 17 Snippets Of The Past

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 17 – Snippets Of The Past**

She knew she should wake up but she didn't want to; the fatigue in her was overwhelming. Behind her she felt a hard, warm body that fit perfectly around her. Two arms were holding her close and she could smell a fragrance that didn't belong to one of her guys. Who was holding her? The warmth of the unknown body and its spicy, warm scent enveloped her like a cocoon; she felt incredibly safe. Whoever it was, she didn't want it to end so she let her mind drift to sleep again.

The next time she became somewhat lucid the body was still there, pressed against her back, the arms still holding her. The body's scent was amazing; it was musky and spicy with warm elements of amber, vanilla and cinnamon. Letting her mind drift aimlessly, she basked in the unknown fragrance. She wasn't sure whether she'd drifted off again but she could feel a hand drawing mindless patterns on her hip up to her waist and back. The bed was wonderful warm and cuddly but it was annoyingly bright behind her closed lids. Snuggling backwards deeper into the warm embrace and tucking her face into something equally warm and hard, she could feel the body behind her chuckle. The hand stopped its progress on her hip, the arms squeezed her gently and she felt a peck on her shoulder. Damn, she really had to wake up and find out who that was. Not that she was concerned; Agony and Rev would never let anyone foreign get so close to her. The moment her mind kick-started, she knew her comfy heater. Rubén. What the heck did he do in her bed? When he squeezed her again, she turned in his arms and opened her eyes, squinting against the bright sunshine.

"What are you doing in my bed, big one?" she signed smiling.

"The brave knight is protecting su luz," he signed back to her.

"Tu luz?"

"Si, tú eres mi luz."

„Serious, does Agony and Rev know you are here?"

"Yes," he answered with a serious expression.

"And they allowed it? Normally they don't let anyone near me let alone in my bed."

Rubén's face became blank. "Let's say I was quite convincing."

Terror looked at him frowning. "Are they still alive?"

That broke the dam; Rubén lost his serious face and started to laugh. "Yes, mi luz. They are alive and alright. Pain ordered them to let me stay – they weren't happy. I'm supposed to entertain you today and take care that you drink enough of your m-a-g-i-c p-o-t-i-o-n," he stage-whispered with a smile.

"Guess the secret is out, hugh?"

"Nah, I now know that your magic potion is blue but I still don't know what it does – besides morphing you into a late riser."

Terror's eyes got big. _How late is it,_ she thought.

"Ah, ah, ah," Rubén shook his index finger. "You are not supposed to do that today. Another one of Pain's assignments; I'm supposed to keep you from any extracurricular mind work – no mind reading, no thought pushing, no nothing," he signed.

She smirked. "And how do you plan to complete that assignment? It's not like you could control me."

"Baby," he signed with an incredulous look. "I don't need to control you. I will make you completely forget about any extracurricular work. I will dote on you, will lay the world to your feet, be at your beg and call..."

This time it was T who laughed soundlessly. "Well Mister," she signed. "You can talk the talk; let's see whether you can walk the walk." As she tried to sit up splitting headache threatened to burst her head and nausea hit her like a freight train. She felt her body go limp and two strong hands catch her before she hit the mattress.

"What's wrong, Esme?"

Rubén's voice sounded like he was at the other end of a long dark tunnel. He was worried. She wanted to answer him, to reassure him but one wrong move and she would puke. Damn, this was bad.

"Wait here. I'll be back in a few."

Where the fuck did he thought she would go? Pulling a pillow over her eyes to block the bright light, she breathed slow and shallow and tried to keep the sickness at bay. A few minutes later she felt the bed dip gently. As Rubén slowly moved the pillow away, she realized that the room had darkened; he had closed the blinders. Cautiously she opened her eyes.

"Hey little one," he greeted her with concern in his eyes. "Not your best day, huh? Do you feel nauseated?"

"Yeah."

"Is the nausea more in your throat or in your stomach?"

"Throat."

"Is the headache more pounding, pulling, or stabbing?"

"Pounding with a mean stabbing at the upper left side."

"Ok, I want to try something if you let me. I've always been interested in the traditional Chinese medicine and have training in acupuncture amongst others. I'd like to try that with you and see whether it helps you. It won't hurt; the only thing that can happen with the acupuncture is a twitch like you got a very, very mild electric shock. Do you want to give it a try?"

"Anything, just stop the pain and sickness."

"I'll try, mi luz, I'll try. I need to have access to your head, chest, belly and feet." Rubén cautiously stood up and went to prepare the room. He pulled two big scented candles out of the duffel he brought, positioned them on the nightstands right and left of the bed and lit them. Within minutes the room was filled with the scent of Grapefruit, Rosemary and Thyme – a composition he frequently used for meditation. Grabbing the pencil case he used to store his acupuncture needles, he sat back on the bed without jarring T too much. She didn't look good.

"Do you have a happy place where you can go? A memory that comforts you and gives you some happy?" he asked her after she had opened her eyes. She nodded.

"Close your eyes and go there. I promise I'll take good care of your body."

Ten minutes later she had two needles at her scalp, one at her forehead, two at her chest, one at her belly button, and one at each foot; all but the belly button needle smoking. He laid down next to her and took her hand. "When everything is fine, squeeze my hand please." Her eyes were closed, so he hoped she could hear him in her mind.

_Is that a test to see whether I obey Pain's no mind-work rule?_ he heard her ask.

Chuckling he lifted her hand and placed a peck in her palm. "No. Now relax, the needles stay for twenty minutes. If you fall asleep, that's fine." When he removed the needles twenty minutes later, Terror was fast asleep. The blockades he'd seen and felt were gone, her energy was flowing freely, her slumber was deep and restful.

"Hey sleeping beauty," Rubén smiled when T finally woke up. Her eyes were still sleepy, her hair all over the place but she looked much better than four hours ago.

"What time is it?"

"About 1500 hours. Wanna try to sit up?"

When she nodded, he hosted himself into a sitting position and helped her to slowly rise herself. "How is it?" he asked, when she was finally upright.

"Wow. It's great. No sick feeling at all and the headache is gone. I can't believe you did this." She looked at him and smiled one of her blinding smiles with dimples, shining eyes and all. "Rubén Angel Rodríguez, you are herewith officially declared my brave knight, guardian angel, master of jello fights and protector against upside-down turned body functions. Do you feel up to the task?"

"Milady," he bowed his head, "my life is yours. Since you feel better now, may I suggest a light afternoon breakfast for your highness? I'd like to take you up to my secret lair on eight where I'd create a meal worth your digestive system while you soak your queenly body in a relaxing bubble bath." They looked at each other for a moment before breaking out in peals of laughter. T jumped out of the bed, pulled on a way oversized hoodie that laid on the floor, grabbed some clothes and toiletries and turned back to her newly crowned knight in shining armor.

"Sir Rubén, you may show me the way to your lair now but pay attention to the fantastical creatures occupying this building. They are mysterious; always wearing black and sporting blank faces," she signed with a shudder.

Rubén bowed with a flourish and together they made their way to Bobby's apartment much to the delight of the men at the monitors. Since Terror was barefoot with naked legs sticking out of her king-size hoodie, their imagination went into overdrive what she might wear under the sweater. When T emerged from the bathroom an hour later her breath caught. It smelled wonderful. The dining table had been morphed into a colorful half Brazilian, half Mexican breakfast table and as she closed her eyes and concentrated she felt the faint pulse of latin beats in her feet.

"Come on, mi luz, breakfast's waiting." Rubén said, suddenly standing in front of her. "Nah, don't look at me like that. I'm not crazy. Bobby has put me on some mild sedative until I leave for Cedar Creek; I just feel relaxed and wanted to surprise you – no ulterior motive." Reminded of her minor breakdown the day before, Terror let her head hang. "Hey," Rubén put his index finger under her chin and nudged until she looked into his eyes. "No hiding from me. Whenever you are ready to talk about your fears, I will gladly listen – until then let us just enjoy our friendship and help each other with our demons. Deal?" he asked and held out his pinkie finger. Smiling, T took it for a pinkie swear and just like that the fear and tension in her was gone and she sat down at the table surveying the load of dishes in front of her.

"Ok," Rubén spoke up from across her. "For our Brazilian guest we have a traditional Brazilian breakfast with simple buttered bread, média (coffee with milk), mate tea, a glass of freshly squeezed orange and a freshly made mango-banana smoothie with yoghurt. For our Mexican-born, Puerto Rican-raised, sweet-toothed host we have his abuela's Puerto Rican Arroz con Leche and Avena, both with nectarines 'cause he's a sucker for those sweeties, Mexican café de olla con leche, freshly squeezed orange and last not least spicy Mexican breakfast burritos."

Terror stared at him appalled, her throat constricting. "How do you know I'm from Brazil?" Nobody was supposed to know. It was one of the many secrets she had to keep to be somewhat safe.

Rubén stood up, crouched down next to her and took her hand in his. "The brandings on your back, mi luz, they are Portuguese." He pressed a small kiss on her knuckles. "Since Portugal doesn't indulge in torture, Brazil was my next guess."

T looked into his warm, brown eyes. There was nothing but affection in them. She was safe; he would never hurt her or rat her out. "How comes you know a traditional Brazilian breakfast?" She asked still a bit shaken.

"If I just knew; guess I crossed the country," he smiled at her before rising up and placing a peck on her head. When he was back in his chair he signed to her "Now I want you to relax and enjoy your meal. You can eat as much or as little as you want and you are more than welcome to try everything on my side."

"What did you mean earlier with Mexican-born, Puerto-Rican-raised?"

T and Rubén laid snuggled up in the reclined loveseat. She had tried every one of his dishes and liked them all but now he knew why she was so skinny. Every few bites she felt nauseated again and would need to take a break before eating more. After what felt like an eternity she had eaten half of her breakfast plus the few bites she'd taken from him and was stuffed. Once more exhausted, he'd wrapped her up in a comfy blanket and brought her to the living room.

"I was born in Las Cruce, New Mexico, about an hour from the Mexican Border and Ciudad Juárez – the stronghold of the Mexican drug trafficking. My biological parents were Wetbacks – illegal Mexican immigrants." Rubén answered her question. "My biological father was a mean drunk who made his money with drug trafficking and whenever he was at home, he loved to give me a good thrashing."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"You mean biological? Four brothers but they don't count," he said with a detached voice. "When I was six, my father started to train me as courier and messenger for his drug business. He sent me right into the hell holes; to the dealers as well as to the lords. I was the youngest, my brothers were several years older and all started the same way. When I was six, they were already established in the drug business and I should follow in their steps. I did well but I didn't like it. Call me a nerd but I loved to go to school and whenever I could I stole away from home to read and learn about the world outside of Las Cruce. Of course that ended with even more thrashing. It was July two years later, I was eight, when I lost a small package of nose candy. It wasn't my fault. A gang of teenagers intercepted me and beat the crap outta me. When I was lying on the ground, bloody, they searched me and found the coke. I dragged myself home and there my dear father got a fit of rage and beat me to a bloody pulp. Some neighbor anonymously called the police and the cops brought me to the nearest hospital. I never went back. They had called the Children, Youth and Families Department and from there on it was a rollercoaster ride through a hell lot of foster care homes. Within four months I went through twelve foster families. It wasn't that they were bad, rather I had spent so much time since I could walk on the street that I wasn't accustomed to regularity and rules. Plus I was angry, there was so much anger in me at my father and the world in general that those foster families could have kissed the ground I walk on; I would have run away nonetheless."

"What about your biological mother? Didn't she try to stop your father?"

"No, she just watched or turned back to the TV that was always playing."

"What happened then? After you went through all those foster families?"

"The woman responsible for my case at the CYF Department was despaired. Her name was Marisol Garcia. She was nice and wanted to help me but already went through all her preferred families. Since the last time the police picked me up from the street it was late night, she took me home with her. It was against the law but Miss Garcia's sister, Lucia, and her family, were visiting her and she didn't want to spend the night at court trying to find another foster care for me. That's how I met them, my true mom and pop."

"The department woman's sister and her husband?"

"Yeah. The police officers that had picked me up somehow forgot to mention it in their report so the department was none the wiser about my whereabouts. Lucia and her husband Diego Rodríguez had already three children and they took me with them each day to explore New Mexico. I'd never in my life been outside of Las Cruces and felt like Christoph Columbus, discovering a new world. Years later Pop told me taking me with them was like a ride on a volcano. I had a hot temper and could explode from zero to hundred in less than a second but they liked me nonetheless. He said he and Mom saw the anger and fight in my eyes but buried deep under that was hurt and sadness and a longing to be loved. The day before they had to leave we went to the Mesilla Valley Mall in Las Cruces and they bought a beautiful flute for their nine year old daughter. We kids were sitting at the food court waiting for Mom and Pop to come back from Victoria Secret when some white teenagers started bugging us. As they pushed the girl down at the floor and tried to snag her flute I snapped. I was long carrying a knife and knew how to use it so before they realized what happened I gave those teens a bashing and threatened to carve them up if they didn't go poof immediately. Of course they didn't listen. When Pop extracted me from them a few minutes later I once more was a bloody pulp but those fuckers were down on the floor, too, with several cuts peppered over their stinky bodies."

"Tell me how ya feel, will ya?" Terror nudged Rubén with her elbow and grinned.

"What? Those fuckers attacked my soon-to-be-sister. The brave-knight-genes were showing early in me."

"Go on, tell me more."

"A little demanding, are we?" he smiled and nudged her back. "Anyway, of course the police was called and everybody was oh-so-happy to see diablo meñique as they called me. Two weeks later I was on the street again. I was making plans how to survive the next few days when somebody called my name - not diablo meñique but Rubén. I looked up and there they stood, Mom and Pop together with aunt Marisol. Pop told me that they were missing me, that they had talked and that they wanted me to come live with them in Montana if I want that is. They didn't ordered me, or pushed me around, they asked me if I would like to live with them. My only question was 'Can I go to school?' and when they said yes, I didn't need to hear more. Forty-eight hours later, after the court had given its permission and every i was dotted, every t crossed, I sat in a plane on my way into a new life."

"Did you ever have regrets?"

"No, not one second. Mom and Pop were the best parents in the world. They loved me the way I am, for who I am. They gave me wings and made me fly, made me proud of myself and my heritage and even at my worst they still loved me unconditionally and irrevocably."

"Then why did you abandon them and haven't told them you're alive?"

Silence.

"Did you plan this?" Rubén asked angry and hurt. After all he had opened up and trusted her and now that blow below the belt.

Hearing his hurt she immediately pulled out of his arms. "Listen to me Rubén and listen well. I can hear people's thoughts 24/7. I know what they think compared to how they act. I know the games they are continuously playing to turn things to their advantage. I hate it and never ever in my whole life will I do that to somebody else. I love to hear these stories about you and your childhood, how you became the man you are today. When you just told me what wonderful people your parents are, I simply wondered why you made the decision to cut the contact to them so I asked you. I didn't lead you on nor was it my intent to hurt you. Far from it. I'm having a wonderful day with you, I feel cherished and pampered and I want to hear more, 'cause so far, Mister, you haven't explained the Puerto-Rican-part." She nudged him and waited. After a minute he smiled and pulled her back down against his chest so they were spooned again.

"Forgive me, mi luz, I totally overreacted but that is a sensitive topic," he signed and then squeezed her gently. The kiss she brushed over one of his hands told him that he didn't need to worry, they were ok. "Anyway, Pop was a purebred Puerto-Rican who visited an aunt in Miami when he met Mom in a wicked night-club. She was celebrating her eighteenth birthday or so she told him. They danced some hot and oh-so-x-rated Bachatas vertically as horizontally and a week later they were married. Their parents had a fit but Mom and Pop loved each other and stuck together through that hard time. When Mom found out that she couldn't get pregnant, Pop never bat an eye and soon they had their first adopted child – my brother Tony. After him followed Ben, then Gracie, then me. After they brought me home to Montana they took a little break from adopting, said I was a handful. Can you believe it? Sunny me a handful?" Rubén grinned. "Altogether I have nine siblings plus an unaccounted number of nieces and nephews."

"What are their names?"

"My sibs? Let's see – there is Tony who should be 43 by now, Ben 42, Gracie 40, then little ol' me 39, Chance 34, Jack 32, Ally 29, Stella 27, Ty 26 and Zoe 22."

"I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up in such a big family."

Rubén squeezed her and nuzzled her neck. It was a very intimate gesture but somehow it worked for them without being out of place. After some comfortably shared silence he signed "What about you? Are there parents out there wondering where you are or whether you're fine?"

"No."

He felt her snuggle backwards as if she wanted to crawl under his skin. "You are safe with me, Esme. I won't let anyone hurt you nor will I ask questions if you don't want to talk about it."

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it, but I'm scared of what it will do to me when I remember and I'm scared that you won't like me anymore when I tell you."

"Why should I not like you anymore?"

"You might think that I'm..."

"That you are... what?"

Terror turned in his arms. The instant she faced him he saw the tears that were silently running down her face, along her scars. Wiping them gently away he cupped her face and looked deep into the limey green pools that were her eyes. "Esme, listen to me. Nothing – I repeat nothing – you say could change the way I feel about you, the way I see you. You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You bring light and peace into my life. When I'm around you, I feel in balance with myself. If at one point you want me to go I will, otherwise you are stuck with me for the rest of your life." Of course that heartfelt declaration just conjured up more tears. "Aaaw, honey, baby, don't do that to me. If you don't stop I will start crying, too. I'm not the most stable person at the moment." That made T chuckle. She laid still for several minutes, facing Rubén, looking into his deep brown eyes while he wiped away the moisture from her face.

"Have you ever heard of the Favela Vila Cruzeiro in Rio de Janeiro?" she signed hesitantly after she'd calmed down. They were no longer spooned but facing each other.

"Yeah, I've even been there a couple times. It's one of the gates to hell, firmly in the hands of the 'Commando Vermelho'."

"What did you do there?"

"I can't say for sure, the memories are fuzzy, but it was at my time as SEAL and I have a feeling that Muerte had been there, too."

Again they were silent for several long minutes. Rubén knew that he had to give her time; he had a feeling that what Esme had been through would make his childhood look like a walk in the park.

"I was born there."

That came out of the blue and he knew she could see the shock in his eyes, read it in his mind. "No, Esme, don't." He nudged her chin until she looked up at him again. "Do not hide, please. You have to allow me to react to what you tell me. That reaction can be joy, happiness, laughter, or a small chuckle, but it can also be sadness, tears, anger, hurt or shock. Those reactions change nothing about the way I see you, understood? They are just a necessary physical release to the emotions I feel. For so many years I trained my blank face to perfection. The therapists at Cedar Creek helped me to realize how unhealthy that pattern of hiding everything from everybody was. It didn't take long before I despised my blank face since it was something that belonged to my alter ego. I'm still capable of conjuring it up, but where it was natural before, it is hard work now. I no longer like to hide my feelings. I want them out, right there," he pointed at his face, "for you to see. No hiding between us, ok?"

Esme nodded and after some deep breaths started to sign again. "I was born in the Favela Vila Cruzeiro. I don't know who my father was. My mother was abducted by el señor when she was already pregnant with me. She died when I was three I think. At least that's what my brother Linho told me."

"Is Linho the brother who died?"

Esme nodded.

"El señor, I know that name. He was a drug and weapon dealer and into prostitution and child trafficking, a big number within the Commando Vermelho. He was shot one night in a side street. His death provoked a war between the Commando Vermelho and the Amigos dos Amigos."

Esme nodded. "He abducted children in the Favelas and sold them to rich people. He abducted women, raped them, and once they were defiled forced them into prostitution. When they got pregnant, he sold their babies. Men were coming and paying good money to rape them; the more pregnant the better. Other men wanted young girls and paid very much money for them. Young girls were very expensive because they died after the men raped them. They were too small down there and when the men were finished they were bleeding, a lot. El señor didn't care for them; they were thrown in the sewer running through the Favela. Those girls and women who got pregnant a lot were the most valuable. El señor couldn't just sell them down there but also sell a lot of babies. Babies meant more money than children. Boys who were his sons weren't sold. They stayed in la casa with their mothers and later were trained to help in his business. Girls who promised to become beautiful he kept for himself. He didn't provide for them but if they survived on their own and got their first period he either raped them himself or let them be raped by men from the street. If they delivered a healthy baby they made their way into la casa and were allowed to stay. Their baby was sold and as soon as they were healed they were raped again. Or he sold them to human traffickers. He kept me because of my eyes. He liked my eyes. He would come and touch me and just look into them. When my mother died the other women chased me out of la casa. El señor had two sons he was training, one was nine, Sassá, and one was ten, Linho. Sassá and Linho liked my mother, she gave them food from her own ration when they were hungry and hadn't found enough in the garbage. After my mother had died, Sassá and Linho took care of me. I had to live outside la casa on the street but they built me a tiny hideout and as often as possible one of them stayed with me at night. And they brought me food from the garbage to eat and sometimes they managed to steal a fresh fruit and they gave it to me, too. They loved fruits but they didn't want anything from it until I was finished. When I was five el señor shot Sassá right in front of me because he had brought me food instead of dealing drugs. Linho found me hours later, sitting next to Sassá's dead body, his blood all over me, playing in the dirt. That was the day Linho started to take me with him and train me. He wanted me away from el señor so I became his look-out, spotter and aide. I couldn't read minds back then but I had an uncanny ability to find people, to know when we were watched, when someone was about to come around the corner, when someone was lying to Linho. With six I started to help him push drugs, with seven to deal guns. That was when I officially became a soldados do morro of the Commando Vermelho. Linho and I were inseparable. He called me sua pequena borboleta, his little butterfly, and would often steel beautiful shirts and shorts for me from the rich people. Shirts in pink with horses or flowers on them. I loved horses and flowers. And he stole books, beautiful picture books. He couldn't read so we were sitting snuggled together and imagined stories while we looked at the pictures." The tears started to flow again and Rubén knew it was about to become even harder than it already was. "I hadn't been at la casa for years. Linho and I slept in side streets, in entrances or behind dumpsters. Whenever he found some, he built me a castle out of cardboard boxes and I was his princess Esme like in the picture books we had. For my eighth birthday he took me to the racecourse. I had never seen a real horse in life, just in the picture books. We washed my most beautiful horse shirt and shorts and he braided my hair. I looked beautiful. My little butterfly looks like a princess he said. He had tried to bring me to the racecourse before on a race-day so I could watch the horses fly around the track but we were sent away at the gate. The racecourse was just for the rich. It was dark night when we broke in at my birthday and went straight to the stables. The horses were so beautiful. Some stretched their heads out to me and whinnied. It was the first time ever that I saw a horse close up. I petted their noses, they were so soft. And one of them, it was silver like the moon, cautiously rubbed its nose at my chest before blowing into my hair. For hours we wandered around the stables, petted soft noses and talked with the horses until I couldn't stand upright anymore. It was one of the best nights of my life. Not long after that night Linho and I were organizing a gun delivery and something went wrong. We were ratted out and lost all guns plus we were both shot. The Commando Vermelho sent two of their executioners. It was night and I was out, trying to find more dressing material. When I came back the executioners were there together with el señor and had Linho at gun point. They were waiting for me." Esme's breathing was ragged, her hands trembling. "I took my automatic, held my hand close at my side so they couldn't see the gun in the darkness and stepped into the side street we were sleeping in. When they heard me, they turned their heads and el señor smiled at me. I'm sure he wanted to spare me, to shoot Linho in front of my eyes like he had done with Sassá. Before they could do anything else I raised my hands and shot all three in the head. Thanks to Linho's training I was a good shot but it was the first time I consciously killed someone. Linho came over, took the gun out of my hands and pulled me into a tight hug. Within minutes we were on our way, away from Vila Cruzeiro, away from Rio de Janeiro. I had killed two executioners of the Commando Vermelho plus el señor. Linho said we needed to get away, fast, or they would find us and that would be our sure death."

"How old were you and Linho when that happened?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know my birthday." Esme signed after she had wiped away some of her tears. "Linho always tried to keep our memories right but none of us had ever really been to school. He always said the night I was born, there was the worst thunderstorm Rio ever underwent. As if God heralded my arrival on earth with all the kettledrums his angels could get hold of. It was also the summer with the worst heat ever. Counted from then he said I was three when my mother died, five when Sassá died, six when I started the drug-pushing, seven-something when I started the gun-dealing, and eight-something when I killed those men. He was seven years older than me so that made him fifteen or sixteen."

Rubén laid in front of her and caressed her face, hair and neck. When she talked about the rapes and trafficking her demeanor and speech became that of a small child. What traumata had to rage in her after those experiences; she grew up in a world where violence was the norm. He couldn't say anything; there was too much going on in his head. After several minutes of silence, he gently pulled Esme into his arms and just held her close. _Mi luz, Sassá and Linho were the most honorable brothers I can imagine. They risked their lives to protect you, to provide for you – they helped you become the amazing woman you are today. _He took her right hand, kissed the palm and laid it on his heart._ I'm sure they are proud of you and of what you've made out of your life._ The way Esme snuggled into his chest told him she had heard his thoughts. The warmth of her body was lulling him and he started to draw mindless patterns on her back. Soon he felt her go limp in his arms and knew she was asleep. Muerte was roaring in him, rattling at his confines. For the first time since about four years, Rubén thought about voluntarily turning control over to him. He felt shaken by what Esme just told him. _They chased her out of the house at the age of three; three for god's sake. How did she survive? She slept on the street, ate garbage; with three. El señor killed her brother in front of her eyes when she was just five. She said she was covered with Sassá's blood and played next to his dead body. How could she survive that and stay sane? How could she survive all those years that followed? The gun and knife fights, the constant fear for her life. Linho did his best but they lived on the street and ate garbage. She grew up on garbage. She literally grew up on the street. _He felt his breathing constrict when tears started to roll down his temples. _No, not now. You have to keep it together, man,_ he chastised himself.

_Yo, bro'_ he heard Muerte in his head. He so did not need that right now. _She survived it 'cause she's the toughest person we've ever met. She's so fucking amazing. We have to protect her, man._

There was no growl, no menace, no provocation.

_I know you hate me but I have your back. If you want to take a break I'll keep the two of you safe, _Muerte continued.

For a moment Rubén was dumbstruck. _Sorry, but I have a hard time trusting you,_ he thought. _What's all this about?_

_You heard the bashing she gave me last night?_

_Sure._

_She was right - that's all I say._

Two hours later Muerte's eyes opened. Something had woken him. The instant his subconscious mind registered the potential threat it sent all his senses into overdrive. Silently he listened into the darkness of the room. Esme was still fast asleep in his arms. It felt right to have her there; he would protect her and Rodríguez with everything he had.

_What's going on?_ he heard Rodríguez ask. He too was fully alert. It felt strange to be in tune with him instead of fighting him; strange but very powerful.

_We have visitors._

The muted sound of a key being pushed into a lock brought the two out of their internal dialogue. They already knew that it was Bobby; had felt his presence. Bobby was not the problem, the two Inferna Angelus accompanying him were – at least for Muerte. They would take his luz away from him; he wasn't sure he could allow that.

"Shit," Bobby blurted out when he turned on the light of the living room. Agony and Furor were behind him and stopped dead in their tracks. Across the room Muerte was watching them utterly quiet, a Glock trained at their heads. He laid in one of the recliners with Terror snuggled against his chest.

"Muerte," Bobby spoke up quietly. "What happened? Why are you here? Take the gun down – you know I'm no threat."

"Firstly, nothing happened. Secondly, I'm here because I'm taking care of Rodríguez and Esme. Thirdly, I know you are no threat. The gun is trained on the two gentlemen behind you."

Bobby stayed in front of the IAs and scrutinized him. "Why are you threatening Agony and Furor with a gun? They are friends."

"They want to take Esme away from me. I can't allow that."

Bobby thought he didn't hear right. "What? Why? She belongs to them, you know that. They are worried about her after they'd been away the whole day."

"She's fine. Rodríguez took good care of her. She can stay with us."

"That's not your decision to make. Wake Esme up so she can decide herself." Bobby couldn't believe he had this discussion. He'd had a totally fucked up day, was dead on his feet and felt his own temper rising given the situation in front of him. Luckily it had a quick end since at that moment Esme stretched in Muerte's arms. When she finally opened her eyes, the gun was directly in front of her face.

_Watcha doing?_ she turned to Muerte.

_They want to take you away, down to seven,_ he answered.

_Well, I live there. That's ok,_ she thought, still a bit drowsy.

_You can stay with us here at Bobby's._

_Muerte,_ she shook her head to clear her mind from the cobwebs that seemed to slow down her thinking. _Really, it's ok. I'll be back tomorrow. Agony and Rev will take good care of me; they have for years now._

Muerte started to growl, for the first time since the men entered the apartment, but lowered his gun.

"Thank you," she signed and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"Wait." he stopped her from standing up. "Rodríguez wants to know whether he can talk to Bobby about what you told him ... us."

When Esme nodded, he finally let her go.

"Are you alright, sweetie? You cried, your eyes are all red and puffy," Bobby said before he drew her into a hug.

"I'm fine, don't worry Bobby, and don't be angry with either of them. I had a wonderful day with Rubén, really. He made me the most amazing breakfast and I've never felt so safe and cherished. We talked and I guess we were both emotionally drained and fell asleep. Muerte apparently took it upon himself to protect the two of us."

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_**A/N: Ok, that's all I've written so far. I gave you seventeen chapters within five days. Now I want everyone of you to give me one review so I feel encouraged to continue.**_


	18. Chapter 18 'Alpha, we're under fire'

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 18 – 'Alpha, we're under fire.'**

T smiled down at the ten bottles of Blue in the cooler. _Gone a little overboard Furor, don't ya think?,_ she rolled her eyes at the sight. She loved her guys. They were her family, her brothers, and when she felt off somehow – they all became the worst mother-hens, blowing their care way out of proportion. _Ten bottles of Blue? Please! What am I – a camel with a reserve?_ T smiling shook her head, grabbed one of the bottles and took a hearty pull of the liquid. The powder coloring the water blue was a nutritive substance complex developed to provide the brain with all the nutrients needed to perform at its optimum; a true "magic potion." Granted, normally you were supposed to drink one glass per day. T usually guzzled between two and six bottles, but hey – what about her was normal, right? T closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm sunshine on her face. A light breeze was wafting through the training compound, carrying the smells of grass, birch trees, flowers and – Agony. She grinned as his arms snaked around her from behind. Without opening her eyes she leaned back against his chest and enjoyed the smell of his aftershave. With her hearing and speech impaired, her other senses were all the more sensitive and she absolutely loved it when the people around her were fragrant.

_Hola mi angelito,_ he hugged her close.

_Hola mi guardian._

_You were gone when I came back from the gym. I missed my morning cuddle._

Terror turned in his arms and hugged him close. _Sorry, I skipped my workout and went up to see Bobby and Rubén for breakfast._

Agony squeezed her gently. He and Rev were worried what their little angel was getting herself into. It seemed like there was a magnetic pull between Rodríguez and her - and they didn't like it. Rodríguez was a powder keg waiting to explode; equaled with what Pain and Furor told them; they didn't trust him. _Tell me about yesterday, _he thought as he hugged her even closer and rested his head against hers.

_What do you want to know?_

_Angel, Muerte held me at gunpoint when I came to pick you up._

_Don't be mad. He's a bit confused at the moment._

_You won't tell me why, will you?_

_No, you know I don't talk about people's thoughts if it's avoidable. Besides it would hurt the confidence he's starting to build with me._

Agony sighed. _Ok, just promise to be careful. By the way, Boots just arrived and he looks like he wants to do a rerun of 'Saving Private Ryan'._

Today was the last day of the Rangemen's assessments and T had decided to up the ante. One of the hangar-like facilities at the compound's Tactical Firearms Training Center (TFTC) held a top notch shoot house. It was dominated by an overhead grid of steel beams with ballistic rubber coated walls that could slide into different room configurations. Cameras and loudspeakers were affixed to the grid and a cat-walk for observers straddled the maze. Zip's dad, a Marine veteran everybody called Boots, was taking care of the TFTC. When T asked him to conjure four different demanding room layouts for a hostage rescue simulation, his eyes flashed with life. What he now presented to her, blew her expectations out of the water. Not only had he created four challenging floor plans but he also made a range of suggestions regarding the scenarios and their realization. For the next two hours Terror did a detailed walk-through of each simulation with her team and the Rangemen that were assisting them. Boy, the mission teams were in for a surprise.

"Ok guys, a little birdie told me yesterday was "a walk in the park," so I decided to up the ante," T addressed the Rangemen who were standing at parade rest in front of her. "As announced today's challenge is a hostage rescue simulation. Boots was nice enough to create four room layouts in the shoot house – one for each team. After you get your assignment, your team will divide responsibilities, work out a plan to free the hostages, breach the shoot house accordingly, free the hostages and escort them to a designated extraction point. There won't be any paper silhouettes or mannequins; instead you will encounter live combatants and hostages courtesy of the IA and fellow Rangemen. In case of hand-to-hand you will pull your kicks and punches, your weapons will be laser guns and rifles, knifes will be wood and blunt, every person on scene will be outfitted with corresponding sensors to record each hit and its extent. Nonlethal hits will be marked by a single flashing of your sensor vest, lethal hits or the fourth nonlethal hit will result in a continuous flashing and marks the death of the person. Once dead you have to lay down until the simulation is over. Regarding knife wounds, a slash to the throat and a stab to the heart count as lethal, everything else is nonlethal. In case you let yourself get stabbed a fourth time, it counts as lethal, too. You have access to smoke and/or flash-bang grenades. You will be judged from the moment you get knowledge of the individual situation. My aim is to assess your abilities under high stress regarding teamwork, command and subordination, adaption during hostile situations and small unit tactics. Any questions?" T looked around. "Very well then. Team Green gets the honor to start, the other three teams will wait at the track until they are picked up. Once you are finished Team Green, you will leave the compound immediately without making contact with the other teams. The same goes for every team after that."

Woody, Zero, Snake, Ace and Harvey followed Rage to the Escalade that stood aside and received their equipment.

"The situation you are facing is as follows," he spoke up after the team had put on the sensor gear, throat mics, listening devices and checked their weapons and other gear. "The building where the hostages are being held is part of a resort and used for meetings. Civilians have been requested to disperse from the scene; however, some may still be in the area. The surrounding scenery is a wide open valley making it difficult to approach undetected. Your hostages are a business tycoon and a group of his A-team researchers. On behalf of our government, the team has developed a new alloy that will revolutionize the missile industry. The hostage-takers are an ultra-radical group of former Metsada-agents, a division of the Mossad. The number of hostiles is unknown. Their goal is to acquire the alloy-formula and transmit the information once it's been surrendered - they don't expect to survive. Your assignment is to free the hostages and capture the hostile agents for the purpose of questioning. The cameras and throat mics will record your approach for later evaluation. Pain and Ranger will be on the catwalk above your heads, don't shoot them," Rage smiled. He looked around and saw the rest of the Rangemen together with Zip's dad at the track a few hundred yards away. "Ok, you have half an hour for planning, your designated extraction point is five-hundred yards southeast of the second hangar; T will wait for you there. Questions? No? Ooh-rah."

Team Green mastered their assignment exemplary. They quickly agreed on Woody as their leader and Harvey, a trained sniper, their lookout; Zero would secure their way out of the building. Woody was calm and assertive and the rest of the team followed him without hesitation.

Woody: "Alright. We have to secure the perimeter first and get a feeling for the situation. Zero, Ace, check out those buildings to the right, then sweep up to the tree line in the background. Snake, you are with me, we do the same to the left. Harvey, make yourself invisible and gather as much intel as possible about the building and its occupants. I want to be sure that there are no surprises for us. Watch out for civilians and hostile patrols. We'll meet you back here in twenty minutes."

After thoroughly scouting out the surrounding area, Woody, Zero, Ace and Snake found the extraction point with T lounging in a deck chair, a cooler and snacks next to her. Woody couldn't help but grin at the sight. On their way back, still in the woods, they had their first hostile encounter.

Woody's hand went up and then down, making everyone drop to the ground. There were the sounds of boots - nearly imperceptible, but they were there. The team strained their ears. Woody motioned to Zero to go to the right and come up behind them. Shortly after Zero vanished the team heard a single tap in their earpieces, confirming that he was in position. Woody had counted four pairs of boots. He motioned for Ace and Snake to fan out. As soon as they were in position, Woody straightened up right in front of surprised fellow Rangemen from the BE Department. A group of four men in black fatigues with black face painting, obviously a patrol, was subdued and secured before they had a chance to alert their associates in the shoot house.

The team met up with Harvey who hadn't been able to find anything helpful and though the odds were against them, Woody successfully led his assault team to the hangar without being spotted. There they readied to gather all available intelligence about the targets and possible innocents. Woody outlined each man's location, actions and responsibilities and it was agreed to meet back at the entrance in fifteen minutes. What he couldn't surmise was the enemy's sheer superiority in numbers. Once inside the shoot house all hell broke loose. Rage, V, Agony and Rev plus ten more Rangemen from the BE Department were modeling as hostage-takers under Furor's command. Before Woody's team could pass the corner of the first hall they were engaged in a close quarters combat.

Ace: "Alpha, we're under fire. Repeat, we're under fire."

In addition to the noise of the real attack, deafening rifle fire and shouting were booming out of the loudspeakers mounted to the grid above them, providing additional stress.

Woody: "Hold position. Snake, Harvey, give them cover."

Snake: "Roger."

Ace: "Zero's down. Repeat, Zero's down."

Woody: "No fallback. Hold position. Snake, Harvey, get your asses over there."

Within a split-second Woody changed tactics to rapid assault and got his men in advantageous positions. They needed a very fast, violent takeover of the structure or they wouldn't have a chance against the superiority of combatants.

Woody: "Zero, damage?"

Zero: "Flesh wound. Good to go."

Woody: "We need to get the upper hand. Fast. Ace, Zero, rooms to the right. Snake, Harvey, left side. I'll give you cover. Move."

Team: "Hoorah."

With lethal force they worked their way through the building.

Zero: "Ace. Movement. Behind the drape."

Ace: "Target disabled."

Zero: "Hit confirmed."

Ace: "There are more. Harv, behind you. Look out."

Snake: "Keep us covered. We're breaking through."

Harvey: "Alpha, we're under fire. Repeat, we're under fire."

Zero: "Alpha, we're trapped. Hostile fire coming front and back."

Ace: "Fuck. Harv. Reloading. Keep me covered."

Woody: "On my way. Hold position."

Snake: "Alpha, it's getting tight here."

Zero: "Ace down. Repeat, Ace down."

Woody: "Hold position. Coming up from behind."

Woody disabled the men in front of him and crouched down behind Ace and Harvey who squatted at the corner to another hall.

Woody: "Report."

Zero: "Right all clear."

Snake: "Left all clear."

Woody: "Ace?"

Ace: "Flesh wounds, I'm good. There's just one hall left to the right. They must be in one of those rooms."

Harvey, who had kept lookout, smashed himself on the ground: "Flashbang."

The rest of them dived down, crumbled to a ball, squeezed their eyes shut and protected their ears, with an ear-deafening bang and a blinding flash of light the grenade detonated in the hall behind them. For a second it felt like the world stopped moving as the impact of the detonation hit their bodies. _'Diversions are an essential element in achieving surprise. Surprise is completing an offensive action before the party being engaged is able to react.'_ Reacting in a split-second Woody turned the table and used the attackers' diversion to his team's advantage.

Woody: "Counterattack. Move."

His men scrambled to their feet, forcing their bodies to work against the desire to shut down, and made their way into the last hall.

Ace: "Movement to the right."

Woody: "Target down."

Harvey: "Over there."

Ace: "I see him. Target down."

Zero: "Hits confirmed."

Woody: "Keep me covered."

Harvey: "Roger, Alpha."

There was no time to think, barely to breathe, the simulation so real that their bodies were in full fight or flight mode. When they finally reached the room in which the hostages were held, they were drenched in sweat, the adrenalin coursing through their bodies making their hearts pound like jackhammers. Suddenly it was eerily quiet.

Woody: "How many targets are down?"

Zero: "Three."

Ace: "Two – one dead."

Harvey: "Four."

Snake: "One – dead."

Woody looked up at the catwalk. Ranger and Pain were crouching in opposite corners, watching him. Looking down at his boots he collected his thoughts and took a deep breath.

Woody: "Zero. Any chance to place the camera in position?"

Zero crawled silently to the entrance of the room where they assumed the hostages were being held. After thoroughly checking the door he shook his head no before he crawled backwards to his team.

Woody: "Harvey. The second room to the right. Check whether there's a window and if it opens."

A minute later.

Harvey: "Positive and it can be opened. Coming back."

Woody: "Ok, this is what we will do. We neither know the exact number of hostages nor the exact number of aggressors. We either killed or subdued fourteen hostile combatants; I assume there'll be six more in that room. We don't know what weapons they have, whether there are explosives involved or the condition of the hostages. Harvey – find a way out of the window and onto the roof." He motioned to the catwalk above them. "Use the camera and telescope and see whether you can gather intel on the situation inside the room. Depending on what you find we will plan our attack."

A few minutes later.

Harvey: "There's a window. I can see ten hostages and five assailants. Explosive devices strapped to the hostages. Looks like the assailant closest to the window is holding a collective tripping device. I see assault rifles and guns. One assailant is leaning to the left of the door, one to the right, two against the southern wall."

Woody: "Harvey, you are going through the window and shut down the one with the tripping device, no holding back. Zero, you will kick down the door. The moment it springs open I roll in and take out the one to the right while you take care of the one to the left. Ace, Snake, you are coming in behind us and take out the two on the southern wall. All clear?"

Team: "Hooah."

Woody: "Harvey, tap when you are ready, jump five seconds later. We will go in at the same time."

Twenty minutes later Team Green delivered ten hostages as well as thirteen hostile agents alive and healthy to Terror who was waiting for them with a blinding smile. Woody and his men looked worse for wear; their fatigues were soaked, the sweat was running down their face in rivulets but they emanated satisfaction. What they thought would be an average hostage rescue simulation like they'd done so many times over the years, turned out to be such a violent conflict at close range. It lost any feeling of simulation and triggered every survival instinct they acquired as soldiers. They were kept in the dark and deliberately overpowered, however they withstood the pressure and eventually succeeded. They were dead on their feet but felt on top of the world.

Terror held up a big sign she had colored while waiting for them.

YOU WERE GREAT!

"HOOAH!" They proudly shouted back at her.

Team Blue consisting of Lester, Ram, Vince, Ice and Scar were similarly successful. Surprisingly, Ram took lead instead of Lester and with a calm demeanor led his team through the murderous frenzy awaiting them in their scenario. T knew Ram and Lester, their abilities were unquestionable but who surprised her were Vince and Scar. While the teams were working through their scenarios she was connected to their minds. She wanted to know what each man thought, what stressed them, what angered them, how did they deal with those emotions and simultaneously adapt to the progressively hostile situation they were facing. She purposely designed the scenarios just a tad off overwhelming because she wanted them to reach their limits but leave them with the sweet taste of success after they accomplished their assignment. So far every single one of the men was totally devoted to their mission but Vince and Scar put that devotion to a new level. In their minds they both showed significant leadership qualities but without hesitation subordinated to Ram's command. At the beginning they watched Ram, Lester and Ice and detected their normal approach. Then they let their minds work, basically doing the same job Ram was doing, but in addition to following his commands they also concentrated on those things that slipped by the others attention. By that they didn't just show impressive far-sightedness but also absolute devotion to their leader and their team's success. Terror was impressed.

She was coming back from a potty break when she found Rubén lounging in her deck-chair.

"Hola mi luz."

"Hola tumbona ladrón."

Rubén grinned at her. "Better a deck-chair thief than a Blue-aholic," he motioned at the four empty bottles of Blue that were lying in the grass next to the cooler.

"A Genius's mind needs nutrition," T grinned back right before she was pulled down onto Rubèn's lap.

"So, a genius you are. And how is my little genius today?"

T snuggled into his warm embrace and enjoyed the warm, spicy scent of his aftershave. "Not so good. Remembering the past sucks."

"I hear you, mi luz. After laying around wide awake for a few hours I moved into the living room so I wouldn't wake up Bobby."

In her mind she followed Team Red's progress. They had just decided in favor of Bobby as their leader, Willow as sniper and lookout and Zip, Binkie and Bull as the first-row assault team. They would get inside the building easy enough; the challenge was their way out and to the extraction point. Once inside they would be trapped and most of the hostages were severely injured.

"Earth to Esme," she saw two hands signing directly in front of her eyes.

Snuggling deeper into the crook of his neck, T thought, _Sorry big one, I'm still tired. That one day off wasn't nearly enough to recover and I had no sleep at all last night. I have to concentrate on the teams and I totally blocked you out._

_May I ask you something?_

_You can ask anything you want but I can't promise to answer._

_Right now, are you somehow reading the mind of someone out there? I mean, does whatever you do work over distance?_

_I'm not ready to talk about that, Rubén. Not yet._

He squeezed her and absentmindedly started to caress her neck._ It's ok. Don't worry about it. Hey, I brought some burritos and salad for your lunch._

T straightened up and looked at him. "You don't have to take care of me. I can take care of myself," she signed. She wasn't angry or anything but because she was so small and deaf-mute and additionally worked in an exclusively male domain, the men around her always thought she needed to be protected and smothered with care. It could be suffocating sometimes.

"I know you can. This has nothing to do with chaperoning you."

Pulling her back down to him, Rubén tried to sort out the jumble of thoughts in his mind.

_Quite the chaos up there, uh?_ he heard her smiling.

_I tell ya. I'd roll my eyes if it wouldn't hurt so much._

_Headache? Here, I'll share my magic potion with you, _she handed him one of the bottles filled with blue liquid.

_Esme, our day yesterday, it shook something loose in me. I can't stop thinking about all those things we talked about. My past, your past, what happened to us. I've never before met someone who's been through the same things I've been through or even worse; someone who understands me, my dark side, my fears and anger. It's uplifting and at the same time depressing, it gives me peace but then keeps me up at night; it's totally confusing. I'm not sure what to do about that. I thought about cutting my contact with you and leaving for Cedar Creek without saying good-bye. The moment that thought entered my mind though, I was struck by a violent panic-attack and then such a bashing of hell from Muerte that I needed the last few hours to regain my composure. I'm still confused, still not sure about what to do, but obviously neither my subconsciousness nor my alter ego are willing to live without you._

_Wow_, she thought with a smile,_ you are not far behind me in the wild-eye department._

_Yeah, guess the two of us make quite a pairing, huh?_

T took Rubén's hand and started to play with his fingers. _This mind-reading thing - it sure has its moments but most of the time it simply sucks. Even without the wars in me I can never find peace because there are always some fucking voices in my head. Yesterday … I can't remember ever feeling so peaceful. I don't know how you did it but you made the world around us disappear. I mean, the voices were still there but you captivated me in a way that I forgot about them. It was one of the most amazing days of my life and though I'm rattled by all the memories our talk conjured up, I wished that someday we could have a repeat and I could tell you about some nice things from my past._

Rubén closed his fingers over her small hands and squeezed them gently. _I have the same wish, mi luz._

T checked in with Bobby's team. They had just found the hostages and Bobby and Bull were busy attending to their injuries while Zip, Binkie and Willow were scouting out the best way out of the building.

_About that food,_ Rubén thought. _I feel this overwhelming wish in me to care for you. Muerte and I feel this overwhelming wish. But not because we perceive you as weak or because we don't put it past you to do it yourself. Rather, it's that you are such an amazing person and we want to make life as easy for you as possible so that with a little chance we can bask a bit in your joyous glow._

_Joyous glow?_ she frowned.

_Fuck, I know that sounds stupid. Hey, I've lived a hermit's life for the past three years, bear with me._

_You are worse than me,_ she grinned nudging him in his side.

_Yo, not true. I don't run away in the face of fantastic food,_ he raised one of his brows at her.

_Right, you think about running away in the face of me,_ she grinned.

_Please let me care for you, Esme. Please let me take care of you. Bobby says he needs to take care of me like he needs the air to breathe. I'm beginning to understand what he means._

_Ok, under one condition. You involve Muerte. And Muerte, you stop fucking with Rubén or this whole we-care-for-you-shit is over before you get settled in._

Rubén squeezed her tight._ Now Milady, it's time to feed your royal body. _And with that he lifted them up, placed T back on the deck-chair and started unpacking the second cooler that stood next to hers.

Team Red's way out of the building and arrival to the extraction point was grueling. They engaged in close quarters combat with their assault rifles as well as hand-to-hand fights resulting in each team member sporting multiple wounds. When they finally entered the clearance they looked even worse than Team Green had upon their arrival. Bobby was supporting two former hostages. When they disengaged from him and walked away, his knees buckled and he let himself fall into the grass. T and Rubén were with him in an instant.

"You did great, Bobby," she signed when he gave her a small smile.

"And you are fucking crazy," he signed back. If it hadn't been for the smile that played around his mouth, she would have been hurt. Bobby had had some minor problems on their first assessment day but his fitness was still above average. But now he was lying in the grass and was totally exhausted while his team members were still able to walk around. That wasn't acceptable; she would need to talk with Furor and V what the reason for this deterioration of performance could be.

"Hey Bobby man, you ok?" Zip and Binkie had come over to check on him.

"I'm fine. Just getting old." he smiled at them but T knew that even that smile cost him a lot of energy.

_Something's wrong, Rubén. Keep an eye on him and if necessary bring him to a hospital. I don't like that he's so exhausted. _When their eyes met over Bobby's head there was concern written over each of their faces.


	19. Chapter 19 Paralyzed

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 19 – Paralyzed**

**Rangeman Training Compound, 1500 hours**

_Fuck._ Terror tried to move but someone was holding her down. _Why is someone holding me down?_

**1525 hours**

It was dark. _When had it become night? Where are Agony and Rev?_

**1532 hours**

T tried to roll to her side but it didn't work. _What the fuck?_

**1540 hours**

"Sir. Sir listen please. We can't transport her until she's more stable."

"No, you listen butthead. I'm a combat medic. I already rescued people when you were still in diapers. If you don't start preparing her transport I'll wipe your sorry excuse of an ass from the face of the Earth. Are we clear?" Furor had seldom felt so close to deliberately killing someone.

"Furor, forget that idiot. She's coming around," he heard V calling him.

_V, oh god V, what happened to me? I hear your thoughts but you sound so far away._

"Esme, Angel, it's me, Furor. If you can understand me, squeeze my hand."

_I can't. Furor, V, what's wrong with me? Why can't I move? Can you hear me?_

"Nothing." Furor looked at V who was working hard on holding back the tears. "Not even a single thought." It didn't look good.

"Esme, Angel, it's me, V. Can you open your eyes for me? Please? Let me see your beautiful peridots."

_They called me Esme. They must be really worried. Hey Guys, I'm fine. I'll try V, I'm just tired._ At the beginning it was just a flutter but after several minutes, Terror's eyes finally opened. There was an annoying flurry and blue and red lights were flashing around her. She tried to focus on the faces above her but it was hard. Finally her eyes adjusted and she recognized Furor who was caressing her face and V who was across from him holding her hand but their faces were swimming in and out of focus. Terror tried to lift her hands to sign to them that she was ok but nothing happened. There was nobody holding her down - she couldn't feel her body anymore. Furor saw her eyes widening in panic.

"It's ok, Angel. It's going to be ok. We've got your back. Pain, Rage, Agony and Rev are all here. It's important that you stay absolutely still until we know what the damage is. Do you understand? Blink once for No and twice for Yes," Furor signed slowly directly above her face.

Terror blinked twice.

"Do you know who you are?" he continued to sign.

Two blinks.

"Do you know what happened?"

One blink.

"Is your breathing ok?"

Two blinks.

"Are you in pain?"

One blink.

"Are you feeling anything at all?"

One blink.


	20. Chapter 20 Miracles Happen

_**Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them.**_

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**Chapter 20 – Miracles Happen**

**2100 hours, the next day**

Someone was holding her hand. She could feel a thumb stroking over the back of her right hand. That was good, right? T let herself be lulled by the comfort of that touch. She knew she should open her eyes but she felt so tired. Just when she was about to succumb to the darkness, a scent invaded her fogged mind. It was warm and spicy; Amber, Vanilla and Cinnamon. She couldn't remember whom it belonged to but she knew the scent meant safety.

**0300 hours, the next morning**

She could feel vibrations; they tingled in her right hand before running up her arm. She could feel her hand and arm! That realization woke her a bit more. Listening into herself, she let her mind scramble through her body.

_Right leg? Check. I can wiggle my toes, yeah! Left leg? Check. Left arm and hand? Check. Back? OUCH! Ok, can anybody please tell me what's wrong with me?_

She focused back on the tingle in her hand. Somebody was holding that hand.

_The smell; now I remember. It belongs to Rubén. No, wait, that isn't Rubén. That's Muerte who's holding my hand._

Focusing on Muerte she realized the tingle was his growl vibrating through him.

_Why is he growling?_ T tried to let her mind scan the room but her head felt like splitting. She needed to let Muerte know that she was alright. Now! Working hard, she managed to open her eyes. It took a few moments but as her eyes focused, she saw her guys on the other side of the bed across from Muerte. Pain and Rage were constraining Agony and Rev who were waving their hands and ranting in Muerte's direction. Next to them was a women in blue scrubs who was in turn shooting daggers at her guys and apprehensively eying the growling man to her left. Her face was blotchy with anger and her mouth moved, too. Muerte's hand that was holding her was relaxed but the rest of his body was coiled tight, ready to attack.

_Ah shit, guys, watcha doing?_ Concentrating on her right hand T gave her fingers the command to constrict. The instant her hand tightened around his, Muerte's head whipped around and his coal black eyes focused on her. Something flashed in them but was gone before she could recognize it. Relief perhaps? Before she could mull any more, Furor's face appeared in her field of vision.

"Esme, my angel, you had us worried," he signed. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Blink once for No, twice for Yes."

T concentrated on her hands and with some effort got them both lifted. The utterly happy look in Furor's eyes was exactly what she needed to find the strength in her for what she wanted to do. "Why do you want me to blink when I can sign?" Her movements were strained. Before she could ask what happened, she felt exhaustion befall her and her arms went limp. Closing her eyes, she fought against the darkness spreading in her. _Damn, I'm definitely more than just a little banged up._ With some effort Terror opened her eyes again just to notice Muerte leaving. In an instant she was wide awake; her breathing constricted, little beads of perspiration building on her forehead. Furor looked alarmed at something to her left side and then turned. T couldn't see whether he was talking and she was too panicked to try to focus on his mind but then she saw Muerte stop, turn and look at her. Slowly he came over and stopped at the foot of her bed. His demeanor was hostile. His face hard and his eyes cold without emotion. He looked at the same point to her left where Furor had looked only seconds before. When his eyes focused back on her, she thought she saw them soften for a split-second.

"Do you want me to stay?" he signed.

T tried to lift her arms again but she was too tired so she just opened her right hand where it laid on the bed. Muerte looked at it for a couple minutes before he took a deliberate step towards the chair he just vacated, then another and sat down again. Slowly, almost afraid, he put his hand in hers. This time when she squeezed, she could definitely see relief flashing through his eyes.

**0700 hours, the same morning**

"You need to understand him. He was the one who found Esme after her first attempted suicide. Something had woken him up – a sound, a foreboding, who knows. He felt uneasy and went to the bathroom where he found her lying on the floor in a puddle of blood with cut arteries on both wrists. His scream woke the whole house; I will never forget that scream or the sight of Esme lying in her blood."

"Believe me, Furor, I understand that; I nearly lost one of my brothers that way. But he isn't just overprotective – he's downright hostile."

"I know," Furor sighed. "I don't think it's you he's worried about – it's Muerte. I imagine he's afraid that you, or better Muerte, will pull Esme into some kind of abyss and he has to watch helplessly. The night he found her shocked him to the core; bear with him, Rubén. Agony is a great guy, one of the best I know, and he loves Esme as deeply as she loves him."

Rubén rubbed his head with his hands. "If Agony should attack me I won't be able to hold Muerte back. He's developing a downright hatred against every one of you."

"But why?"

"I don't know man. He likes Esme, a lot. I think it started the night she talked to him at Ranger's place and the more he learns about her, the less he wants to share her. I try to reason with him but he's getting more and more obstinate."

"I don't like that, Rubén, that has disaster written all over it." Furor looked at the man across from him. If Agony should do something stupid like charging Muerte, he's signing his death certificate. "Listen man, I consider you my friend and you know I don't say that easily, but we are Esme's family and we have very strong and protective feelings for her. If Muerte tries to come between us or attacks one of us, there's going to be blood and thunder."

Rubén looked at Esme's sleeping form. She looked so small and fragile lying there with all those monitors around her. Nobody could tell him what exactly had happened besides that she fell thirty yards off the hangar roof. A drop from that height should be lethal but she survived; she was not of this world.

"I need to step out for a moment. You're staying with her?", Furor asked.

Rubén just nodded and watched the medic leave the room. Exhausted he let his head hang while his thumb rubbed small circles on Esme's hand. He should go, he should pack his stuff and hightail it out of Trenton, as far away from her as he could.

_If you even try to leave, I will take over and none of those idiots outside this room will survive; I'll make sure of it. _Muerte growled menacingly in his head.

Fuck. The tears started to well up in his eyes. What lunacy. He had to leave but if he did, Muerte would make him kill the Inferna Angelus. He was being held ransom by his alter ego.

_You fucker!, _he screamed in his mind. _Esme will hate you. They are her brothers. You'd kill her family. _

Suddenly he felt a tiny squeeze at his fingers. His head snapped up and he looked into the green depths of Esme's eyes. Even after that drop and the artificial coma the doctors had put her in, there was still a spark in them. Esme watched him, her eyes captivating him, freezing him in time.

"If you run, I will  
find you and then I'll beat the crap outta you. Don't worry about Muerte, I will take care of him," she signed.

There was no smile, no banter; she meant business. Esmeralda Torres, tracker extraordinaire, had just set the boundaries and he felt unburdened. He knew the right thing would be to leave, but he couldn't; he needed her.

"Do you know what happened, mi luz?", he signed.

Esme slowly shook her head no. The movement hurt.

"Do YOU know what happened?", she asked.

That made him smile a bit. "Not really. You fell thirty yards off the hangar roof but nobody knows why."

"Where am I?"

"University Medical Center of Princeton. Ranger's sister Carmen works here. She's the head of the brain trauma unit and is a well-known researcher in that area. Ranger arranged for you to be brought here with a MedEvac Chopper, Furor was with you the whole time."

"What's the verdict?"

"The doctors don't know what to make of you. After that drop you should be dead. Instead your vitals are improving by the hour. You lost some blood due to a head wound and I'm sorry to say that there'll be one more scar marring your beautiful face. The first MRI showed several swellings along the spine and in your brain. They put you in an artificial coma to kick-start the healing and when they did the next MRI yesterday afternoon, the swellings were more or less gone. The doctors were in a frenzy. Luckily Carmen could successfully divert her colleagues' attention; don't worry, she's on your side. Whatever it is, that is happening in you, it saved your life, mi luz." Rubén caressed her face. "You scared the hell outta me, you know?", he whispered. "When Pain called me, I couldn't deal with the fear coursing through me and Mr. Insane took control. You're on the way to becoming my lifeline, Esme. I can't lose you; not now, not ever."

Tears started to roll down her temples. It wasn't because of what Rubén had just said. Now that she was somewhat lucid a mortal fear started to reside in her. Before she came to this country she'd been in a hospital once. The doctors there were brutal; they hurt her, force-fed her, scarred her. "You need to get me outta here, Rubén. I'm scared of hospitals and I mean really, really scared."

"I know, Furor told me." One hand still caressing her face, the other holding her hand, he locked eyes with her. "Listen mi luz, we'll spring you as soon as we can – I promise! Until then we are all here with you. Furor just stepped out for a moment, Lester and Tank are outside the door standing guard and the rest of your team plus the complete mission team are all in the waiting area anxious to visit and distract you. We won't let anything happen to you. I won't let anything happen to you," he vowed.

Four days later Terror was finally released. Ranger had sent Hector with the Rangeman helicopter and much to Hector's amusement half the chopper was filled with stuffed animals. Every one of the guys, IAs and Rangemen, had brought her something to snuggle with and boy had they kept her distracted. In those past four days she hadn't been alone once. There were always at least three guys with her, much to the delight of the nurses. But now she was back at Rangeman and it felt good. Carmen, Ranger's sister, had been great. She diffused the attention Esme's phenomenal healing and MRI-scans were causing but she was concerned. The speed with which Esme was healing could only be explained by her extremely increased metabolism; but such an increased metabolism could cause an over-stressing of the organs and early aging. Let alone her high brain activity; the MRI showed an increased activity in areas where there's normally no activity at all. The IAs hadn't been happy about that news. With Pain already suffering a brain tumor, Esme could see a lot of discussions in the near future that they'd want her to go back to Carmen for an intense screening.

It was late afternoon when there was another knock at the door. The whole day the Rangemen had visited to check on her and Esme was tired. Rev jumped up to get the door while Agony drew her closer into his arms. She sat on his lap, snuggled into his arms and was just about to succumb to slumber.

"Rev, we need to talk to you; the complete IA team." Behind Ranger, Rev saw the core team plus Manny. After Pain, Furor, Rage and V were called and everybody found a place to sit down, Ranger spoke up again. "T, can you possibly remember what caused your drop from the hangar roof?"

T shook her head no. The memories of that afternoon had come back. After Rubén and Bobby had left, Team Yellow started their simulation. Cal took lead but halfway through Junior fucked up, royally. He disobeyed one of Cal's commands and took off on his own. By doing that he caused a fire to break out, simulated by smoke grenades, that forced him, his team and the freed hostages up onto the roof of the hangar where they were trapped. T, who played one of the hostages, ended the simulation when Team Yellow was completely brought down by lethal hits. That's how she ended up on the roof. The Rangemen plus her team were already inside the building on their way out of the hangar while she stayed back with Junior to discuss the matter. There was no need to do it in front of his fellow Rangemen. From there on it became fuzzy. She remembered that Junior was angry, that he was shouting and wildly gesticulating but he'd always been a few feet away from her. Then there was nothing but darkness until she woke up in Princeton for the first time.

"We found something that you won't like. After you were brought to Princeton I let Manny and his CSI team investigate the hangar roof. They also collected your gear and stowed it away in their van before they started. Last night, after they finished their investigation, Manny stumbled across the box with your weapons and vest. He wanted to clean the vest of your blood before giving it back to you; that was when he saw this," Ranger said as he laid T's flak vest upside down on the coffee table. There, on the left side of the back, at the exact position of the heart, was a single round embedded in the Kevlar. Someone had shot her. Silence; the IA just stared at the evidence in front of them. "Manny's further investigation showed that the round belonged to a small sniper rifle and that the sniper most probably crouched in one of the trees at the eastern tree line but beyond that, he found nothing."

The next day Ranger, Tank, Pain and T were sitting in one of the briefing rooms on five. After the revelation the night before T's condition quickly spiraled downward. Her body might be more or less healed but the shock of the drop was taking a toll on her. Now they were trying to assess the situation with regard to the upcoming mission.

"And you have no clue who could be behind that assassination attempt?", Tank asked.

"No," she signed. "Of course we have enemies and there are a lot of people unhappy with me, but I don't see them making an attempt on my life."

"We have to consider that this could be linked to the mission," Pain spoke up. "We need to let your men in on what is going on, Ranger."

"No. The mission statement clearly states that the mission's content is to be withheld until we are in the air."

"Ranger, I don't give a flying fuck what that statement states. Somebody tried to kill me! If this is related to the mission, your men need to know so they can back out if they want." Terror's hands moved rapidly; she was angry.

"Those are orders from our government. We are bound to them and I won't tolerate any insubordination." Ranger's voice was deadly cold.

"See. That right there is why you shouldn't be in control. You are too much of a ..." T struggled with the right word, so Pain raised an eyebrow at her. "A lameculos; that's what you are!" Pain's eyes widened for a second before he translated for her. That should be interesting, he thought. Looking at Tank he saw the black man eying his boss with the same apprehension. Seems he and Tank were on the same page. Quietly he sent Agony a text to come downstairs and wait outside the door.

"I am not a brown-noser." Ranger's eyes were shooting daggers at Terror.

"You behave like one," she countered, meeting his stare head on.

"I follow orders. I know my place in this world; when to give an order and when to follow an order. The latter one is something you obviously haven't learned." Ranger's voice was rising – something that seldom happened and caused Tank to eye his friend carefully.

"I don't need to be ordered. I have a brain and I use it. I see what has to be done and I do it. I don't need somebody else to tell me what to do. When will **you**move from brain-owner to brain-user? Leave the control to someone who can think for himself."

At that point none of them were sitting anymore. Ranger and Terror looked like they were just short of jumping at each other and Tank and Pain had positioned themselves to keep them from doing it.

"You listen to me, you little spitfire. From what I know you have no military education at all. You have no right to question the mission's chain of command. Go, and let your team teach you some things about subordination before you talk to me again. If you wish to command, you must first learn to obey."

That was it. Luckily Pain grabbed her before she could gain any momentum. "AGONY!" In a split-second the door to the briefing room opened and Agony and Rev stood in front of Esme, obscuring her view of Ranger.

"I know how to obey. I obey the rules of the street. They are my law. Beside them nothing matters." Terror signed after she had calmed down.

Ranger knew that he had crossed a line. Truth be told Terror was testing his limits but he liked her nonetheless, or actually because of it. Not many people dared to provoke him and it was refreshing; but the woman in front of him no longer looked like the little spitfire with a hot temper he'd gotten used to. Instead her stance was aggressive, her facial features hard, her eyes cold.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries; I didn't mean to affront you. You may be right, in parts, that I tend to accept and obey commands instead of questioning them. It's how I am trained and it made me a successful man. Rangeman wouldn't be as successful as it is if Tank and I wouldn't insist on a strict chain of command. The order of secrecy is binding, I can't ignore that."

Terror closed her eyes and cautiously rolled her neck. Her head and back were still hurting but it got better every day. She knew she wasn't fair but she couldn't help the automatic response she had to everything governmental. She'd been on the receiving end of arbitrary authority; that was something you never forget. Opening her eyes she looked at Ranger.

"If you can't ignore that, give the command for this mission over to me or Pain. We CAN ignore the order of secrecy. Think about it, Ranger. The Inferna Angelus aren't under the control of the government. Where you are bound to your vows, we can move freely and neither Pain nor I have a problem with causing trouble."

That made Tank snort. "Little girl, your second name is trouble."

After shooting a dagger at Tank, T turned back to Ranger. "We've lost so much time already what with Rubén's attempted suicide and now my little time-off. We need to get moving, fast," she signed. "Especially if any kind of conspiracy against us is involved. Pain and I are independent and a lot more flexible than you are. Surrender the control; I promise you'll be involved in every step and decision."

An hour later T stood in front of Bobby's apartment door and contemplated to knock or not. She wasn't aware how long she stood there until the door opened and Bobby stood in front of her.

"Hey sweetie, you wanna come in or stand there a little longer?", he asked with a warm smile. When T looked at him confused, he signed to the security cams on the floor. "Ram has monitor duty. He called and told me you've been standing here for ten minutes staring at the door." Silently she followed Bobby to his kitchen where Rubén was cutting meat. Seeing him broke the dam that had kept her together and she started to cry bitterly.

_Ssshhhh, mi luz, está bien_, she heard Rubén's voice in her head. He had her enveloped in his arms and was sitting on the couch. How did they get there? She couldn't remember moving to the living room. When she was finally calm enough to look up she saw Bobby sitting next to them and both men had concern written all over their faces.

"Guess I needed that," she signed before she put her head back into the crook of Rubén's neck. He hugged her gently. _Bobby and I wondered when it would happen. You are the toughest person we know but even superheroes have limits._ That made her smile; no one had ever called her a superhero. She took Rubén's right hand and started to play with his fingers. For some reason she loved it; his hands were big like frying pans - even when she stretched her fingers, her hands were barely half of his. As she maneuvered his fingers lost in thoughts, she noticed a movement to her right. Bobby had put his left hand on Rubén's thigh. Fascinated by the chocolate color of his skin, she took his hand and put it into Rubén's. Amazed she watched them intertwine their fingers, dark honey and chocolate. As she started to play with their joined fingers, they opened their hands and put hers in between them; dark honey, hazelnut, chocolate – the sight was captivating.

"What happened that had you so agitated, sweetie?", Bobby signed to her after he had freed his hand from them. Esme told the two of them about her encounter with Ranger and what an emotional jumble his words had caused in her. After she was finished, she felt better. She was still in Rubén's arms but Bobby had pulled her feet onto his lap and was gently massaging them; she felt warm, safe and content.

"How about you stay with us for a while and we perform some magic in the kitchen, little one?"

"Duh, are you suicidal again? This superhero can't cook."

"Then it's time that this superhero learns some moves in the kitchen," Bobby squeezed her feet.

Esme had a blast. Whenever she was with Bobby and Rubén she could forget about Terror and just be Esme. It was wonderful. They made some kind of alien pizza. First, Bobby involved her in a batter fight. Then she and Rubén drew funny tomato sauce faces on the ready batter before spreading the sauce with their bare hands. How her sauce covered hand could land right into his face was beyond her. She didn't mean to, really. The meat plus a truck load of vegetables that they cut landed on the batter, some cheese on top and everything went into the oven. Granted, a quarter of the pizza perhaps had a bit more cheese. Ok, it was smothered with cheese but the men didn't object; they were happy she was hungry at all.

The three enjoyed a wonderful evening with pizza, talking and even more laughing. At one point Pain, Furor, Rage and V joined them, devouring the rest of the food. Bobby quickly grabbed his board game collection and they played 'Picture This!', leaving them all roaring with laughter. Esme loved it; for once her impaired speech made no difference, she was surrounded by her family and friends and wrapped up in Rubén's warmth and safety.

Later that night she laid in Furor's arms on his sleeper couch. Since the incident in the hospital, the mood between her and Agony was strained. She knew he was just worried but it pissed her off that he continuously tried to interfere with her life.

_He will come around,_ Furor read her thoughts.

_It's not fair, Furor. Bobby and Rubén are great guys. They like me the way I am and they don't lie to me or play games with me. I feel so safe and cherished with them and now I can't enjoy it because Agony is offended._

_Hey Angel, never ever let anybody come between you and your happiness; not even us. If those two make you happy, then go for it and ignore Agony. Rev will deal with him and he will come around once he has had a chance to get to know Rubén._

Snuggling deeper into Furor's arms, she thought of their evening and the fun they had and fell in a restful sleep.


	21. Chapter 21 Revealing The Mission

_**Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them.**_

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Revealing The Mission**

Eight days after the attempt on T's life, the mission team met for the first time since that fateful day at the compound. T had overslept. Her body was still battered and she was running late. When she finally stumbled into the conference room on two, she nearly fell at the sight in front of her. Every man in the room stood at parade rest behind his chair. As she entered Ram thundered, "ATTENTION!" and every one snapped into a salute to honor Terror. All around the room were colorful balloons and big, beautiful crepe paper flowers pinned to the walls. The conference table bowed under the vast assortment of breakfast dishes. The instant she saw the simple buttered bread and breakfast burritos, T was reminded of her day with Rubén and she knew who was at least partly responsible for the arrangements. Searching for him, she found Rubén in the middle of the room to her right; but before she could make a step in his direction, Ranger spoke up.

Ranger: "'Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.' ~ J. R. R. Tolkien, 5'5"

Tank: "Ludwig Van Beethoven, 5'3"

Bobby: "Robert Blake, 5'4"

Lester: "Mel Brooks, 5'4"

Rodríguez: "Truman Capote, 5'4"

Woody: "Ghandi, 5'3"

Cal: "Sammi Davis Jr., 5'3"

Ram: "Danny De Vito, 5'0"

Zip: "Michael J. Fox, 5'4"

Zero: "Scott Hamilton, 5'4"

Vince: "Moe Howard, 5'4"

Binkie: "Elton John, 5'4"

Snake: "Davy Jones, 5'3"

Sad: "John Keats, 5'1"

Ice: "Guy Lombardo, 5'4"

Willow: "Dudley Moore, 5'2"

Ace: "Noriyoki "Pat" Morita, 5'3"

Knock: "Pablo Picasso, 5'4"

Scar: "Roman Polanski, 5'4"

Bull: "Prince, 5'3"

Harvey: "Mickey Rooney, 5'3"

Scotch: "Marquis de Sade, 5'3"

Revenge: "Martin Scorsese, 5'3"

Agony: "Willie Shoemaker, 4'11"

Vengeance: "Paul Simon, 5'2"

Rage: "Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, 4'11"

Furor: "Paul Williams, 5'2"

Pain: "Buckminster Fuller, 5'2"

When it was Ranger's turn again, he locked eyes with T. "Three weeks ago I would have sworn that I never could be taken by surprise or caught off guard. That was until a small woman of 5'3" arrived in Trenton and turned everything upside-down. T, you took this company and its employees by storm. You made an impact on the lives of these men without even trying. For some you altered their universes while for others you rearranged their value system. Whatever it is, your presence in this building and especially in Princeton this last week, has brought us withdrawn mercenaries closer together. So I repeat what I said at the beginning: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. Thank you for the honor to have you in our midst."

Every man in the room started to clap and whistle. T was out of her element. It was like that day when Rubén and Bobby had cooked for her and all she wanted to do was turn and run. Sensing her dilemma Pain suddenly stood behind her and engulfed her in a hug.

_It's ok, Angel. They just want to show you how much you mean to them, how much they like you and how much they respect you for who you are._

Forcing herself to relax, she finally made her way over to Rubén who hugged her tightly and just held her for a moment. His fragrance encased her and she felt safe. Bobby came next and engulfed her in another fragrant hug that made her feel secure. After a moment he pulled back, just enough for her to see his lips. "Thank you, for everything!" He looked deep into her eyes and she saw affection and sincerity in them. Before he let her go, he quickly pressed a kiss to her forehead. Lester however didn't feel the need to hold back; he pressed a big slobbery smooch directly on her lips before she had a chance to react. Ranger gave her one of his beautiful but oh so rare smiles and big, silent Tank surprised everyone by wrapping her into an enormous bear hug and lifting her two feet in the air. After 22 more hugs and what seemed like an eternity, she finally stood in front of Agony - who had kept himself last in line. Locking eyes with her, he signed "I'm so sorry for the way I behaved this past week, mi angelito. Please forgive me. Te amo." His eyes gave away all the sorrow and pain he was feeling and without hesitation T launched herself into his open arms and held tight. It had been horrible to quarrel with him; she'd hated every second of it. _I love you, too, mi guardián._

"T, as you can see Ella prepared a little surprise for you. Would you mind if we start? You know there's a lot we have to discuss," Ranger spoke up.

The elimination of breakfast took the men all but ten minutes. Just enough time for Terror to nibble on a slice of buttered bread and sip at her coffee misto. Bobby and Rubén were watching her from across the table and weren't happy with what they saw. The last week in the hospital had shown clearly that their little "terror tiger" was nursing a full-blown eating disorder. They'd intensely discussed how to help Esme and a hurried breakfast in passing wasn't part of their plan.

"The more serious issue will be addressed first." Instantly everybody concentrated on Ranger at the head of the conference table. "Contrary to our first assessment, T's drop from the roof of the hangar was no accident." A murmur went through the assembled Rangemen. Besides the core team and Rodríguez nobody knew about Manny's discovery.

"What do you mean?", Ram asked, his eyes flashing with anger.

"As you all know Manny and his guys focused their investigation on the roof."

"Yeah and they didn't find anything. So what's this about no accident?" Scar interrupted. He and T had become friends over the last week, similar scars on their faces being the foundation for that bond.

Ranger ignored the interruption. He knew how the dynamic between his men and Terror had changed since that day at the compound and he couldn't fault them for the irritation they felt.

"When Manny took T's equipment to clean her vest of the blood from her head wound, he found a round embedded on the back in the Kevlar. The impact of that shot caused her not to just lose her balance on the roof but also left her unconscious before she even fell. Had the round penetrated the Kevlar, it would have been a direct hit to her heart."

"A sniper!" Ram said into the dead silence of the room.

It took all but five seconds for those two words to sink in before the pandemonium started. The Rangemen were agitated and discussing possible scenarios surrounding the incident. T glanced over to Rodríguez and saw him struggling with Muerte. Rubén had a hard time dealing with the details of T's event – first her drop, then the revelation that it was caused by an assassin. At the same time Muerte was getting more and more aggressive in his demeanor. The situation between the two of them worsened by the day. Turning on Agony's lap where she had sat down, she locked eyes with him. _I know you don't like him, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but Rubén is struggling over there and I want to go and help him. He needs me, Agony, and somehow I need him. Can you accept that?_

Agony looked across the table at Bobby and Rodríguez. Last night Rev had read him the riot act, thoroughly. He knew he had no other choice but to overcome his issues and support his angelito. He hated the thought she could get hurt but Rev was right. They couldn't protect her from every wrong in the world. She needed to gain her own experiences, especially in regard to men. All they could do was cross their fingers, hope she'd be alright and stay close should Esme shipwreck. In that case Rev promised him he could pick her up, dust her off and consume a truck load of B&J with her. That thought made him smile._ Angel, it's not that I don't like him per se. I just don't trust Rubén to control Muerte and I absolutely distrust Muerte. I know the two of you feel a deep connection and I promise I'll keep my mind open as long as you promise to stay safe and call me as soon as something feels off._

_I promise._ T hugged him close before standing up and moving around the table. Rubén was totally withdrawn in his mind. Afraid to startle him, T settled on Bobby's lap. He smiled thankfully at her knowing that as much as he wanted to help his love, there was nothing he could do in these situations.

"How's he been, last night and this morning?", T signed to him.

"He must be dead on his feet. Muerte didn't let him sleep. This morning I caught him banging his head against the door of one of the wall cupboards in the kitchen. When I stopped him and asked why the fuck he was doing that, he just turned and locked himself up in the bathroom." Bobby took a deep breath. "Esme, sweetie, what shall I do?"

T kissed him on his temple and snuggled deeper into his arms. "It'll be fine, Bobby," she signed to him. "We'll find a way to help him. For starters it's important that he leaves for Cedar Creek. He's stalled long enough."

"He doesn't want to leave you."

"I know and truth be told I don't want him to leave either, but that is selfish. He needs to go to get better. We will visit him there as often as we can. That is if you want to have me with you."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Dunno. Perhaps the two of you want some alone time."

"Sweetie. Listen to me and listen well. Right now, you are the most important thing in Rubén's and my life. I don't think there is a chance for him and me to "be" at the moment. He needs you. You make him feel safe and grounded. And I need you, 'cause you are magic. You are the only one who can conjure a smile on his face and doesn't he have a beautiful smile? I want you as close to him as possible 'cause you are balm on his battered soul."

Sitting on Bobby's lap, T took Rubèn's hand and started to play with his fingers. It took all but half a minute for him to come back to the present and focus on her. Since she was comfy where she was, T kicked of her sneakers and put her socked feet onto Rubén's lap.

"Feeling comfy, huh?", he signed smiling.

"Thought you needed a distraction," she grinned back and wiggled her toes. Around them the emotions were running high. How could an assassin enter the compound? It was fenced and continuously monitored by the control room. Whoever the perpetrator was, he had found one of the few entry points that weren't monitored. While T and Bobby listened to the arguments flying through the room, Rodríguez made himself busy with the few remains of their breakfast. In a blink T had a blueberry-banana smoothie with yogurt, half a burrito and a small bowl of arroz con leche with cinnamon in front of her. Bobby winked at him, nudged T gently and nodded to the food in front of her.

After everybody had calmed down and accepted that there was no answer to their questions, Ranger continued. "When the suits were here and offered me this mission, I called for Rodríguez to join us. After the meeting he immediately told me that something felt wrong and that I should refuse. I didn't listen to his warning. Now I have to realize that he was probably right, that we are being set-up."

Every man in the room looked at Rodríguez. He still kept himself close to Bobby and didn't socialize with them but they had seen him change every time Terror was around him. It wasn't that they suddenly liked him but they started to realize that perhaps their negative assessment of him was wrong. This new discovery just brought that home for them.

"In accordance with the government there's an order of secrecy in force regarding this mission. I won't go against a direct order but I know some people who have no trouble doing it. Effective immediately the command over this mission goes to the Inferna Angelus, namely Pain and Terror. I know I don't have to say it men, but I expect you to show them the same respect and loyalty you're showing me."

Dumbfounded silence - until Lester piped up. "Hot damn, I'll be ruled by the hottest chick in town!"

"Ouch! Fuck, Tank, what was that for."

"Show some respect, dork. That's no way to talk about the boss." Tank winked at T. Everybody turned to her to see how she would react.

"That's so cool. You are all my boy-toys," she smiled brightly while Agony translated, working hard to keep his laughter at bay. After all the tension before, it was good to share a laugh. The Rangemen couldn't know that this was T's way to command. With her ability to read minds and moods, she was able to always act and react perfectly in every given situation. If anyone of them was apprehensive of her as leader, they soon would fear the day she would leave. After working with and for her, nothing would ever come close to that experience again.

"Ok, enough fun, let's get back to business," Pain spoke up. "As Ranger said, the parameters concerning this mission have changed. As a result he, Terror and I agreed to disclose the mission's content ahead of schedule concurring that it would be best to lay everything out in the open - giving any one of you the chance to back out before you're in too deep." The Rangemen looked at their boss, who gave a short nod, then focused back on Pain. "Three years ago there was a series of deaths in Miami. Each case shared a commonality - the use of a so far unknown drug. From what the CSI teams could find out, the drug shut down the nervous system bringing forth the immediate death of the consumer. More deaths occurred down the road. They didn't show the exact same drug but alterations of it. The drug no longer shut down the whole nervous system but it seemed that the creator tried to influence selected nerves. Apparently, it was still in some kind of test phase and the results were unsatisfying. About a year ago the deaths stopped. Instead the ICU's found themselves confronted with cases of drug abuse where single senses where blocked leaving the people without sight, hearing, taste, feeling etc. - the damage was irreparable. One and a half months ago Washington got a tip that someone had offered a drug as a biological weapon. It promised to irreparably shut down all the major senses at once, leaving the victims blind, deaf, mute, without sense of touch and taste, but alive. Disabled like that you can simply stroll around your victims and kill at will or you let them slowly go insane, rejoicing in their panic and despair."

Pain looked around the men while he let his words sink in. _How are they taking it?,_ he thought as he locked eyes with T across from him. She was still on Bobby's lap and Rodríguez was absentmindedly massaging her feet. The food he had placed in front of her earlier was gone.

_All good so far. Ice, Bull and Scotch are a little unsettled. Seems they lost siblings to drugs. Ram, Vince and Scar's minds are already working – they are truly amazing. They are definitely on top positions for the final mission team._

"Word is that the drug will be ready for distribution in about five and a half months and the production is supposed to be in Colombia. That's all we have."

"You can't be serious. Shall we scour the whole fucking country for that lunatic?", Binkie asked incredulous.

"If we have to. But I truly hope that we'll be able to get a few more infos before we leave. With that being said, the responsible drug lord is to be taken out, the formula is to be secured, the responsible scientists are to be found and eliminated and the already produced drugs as well as the research and production facilities are to be destroyed."

"So far that sounds like a normal mission to me. Where's the catch?" Willow, one of the snipers, asked.

Now it was T's turn to answer. Staying on Bobby's lap but straightening up a bit, she signed to Agony who spoke for her. "Information about the exact locations, the number of research and production facilities as well as the level of security to those facilities are nonexistent. Furor, Rage, Agony and I were in Colombia before we came here and what the bees and birds told us didn't sound good. Rumor has it that one of the minor drug lords is expanding. People are vanishing in his trading area – since about three years. Word is that his facilities are underground and nobody knows where. A friend with the NGA regularly checks satellite pictures; but so far – nothing. At some point further down the road we will start to dig deeper. However, it will be a challenge, to say the least, to acquire the essential information needed without alerting anyone of our plans. We'll probably go in more or less blind. Then there is the drug itself. As the most recent victims in Miami show, it's obviously working and we have no clue how much of it is already stored. The forensics revealed that the drug is unflavored and odorless. The absorption can happen via skin contact, swallowing and even by inhalation - if the concentration is high enough. That means we can be exposed to it without realizing it, lose all our main senses, get massacred and there's no counter-agent neither for the drug nor the massacre. I lost my hearing and speech a few years back and I can tell you it sucks, I'd prefer to keep the rest of my senses intact."

That was the first time Terror had ever said anything about her deaf-mute-ness. Everyone had always assumed she'd been deaf-mute from birth but obviously that was not the case.

"Fuck. We need more men. Why should just twelve of us go – why not all? I'm sure I speak for every Rangemen in this room when I say that we will all more than willingly go with you."

"You have a point there, Cal." Ranger took over. "The demand for only twelve Rangeman operatives came from the government with the justification that the terrain we will face won't allow for more than twenty men, max, to stay undetected."

"I'm down there regularly," Terror signed, "and I dare say I could even lead a group of forty without being noticed. I can't explain why, but I expect we'll find hostages and many of them won't be able to walk on their own. I'm with you Cal, we need more men."

"The rescue of hostages isn't part of our assignment," Ranger stated calmly and readied himself for her temper.

T smiled at him and as sweet and calm as she could countered, "any hostages we'll find will be freed, taken care of and, if necessary, brought home. Period."

The Rangemen looked at each other. Slowly but surely it was setting in what a FUBAR situation they would face.

"But there's something else," Pain spoke up. "When Terror and I met with the suits regarding this assignment for the first time, we immediately sensed that something was off. For starters why are they sending us together? Inferna Angelus as a condition operates alone – without exception. We get contracted by the government but are not bound by their instructions; we operate by our own rules. Suddenly we are told – not asked - to not just cooperate with other unknown operatives but furthermore we shall bow to the government's input. That's odd, to put it mildly. Each one of us seven has very unique skills that compliment each other. When we aren't on a mission we share a house, live together, train together, 24/7; we know each other to a point where we are literally one working mind in seven bodies. To stick us in a group with twelve more men slows us down and makes both teams vulnerable.

Ram watched the IA across from him. _Damn, that must be a great life. They live, train and work together as one unit. That must be even more intense than our time in the service. _Watching them, realizing their acceptance for each other, the way they were always orbiting around each other as if an invisible gravity was holding them together, he could see the attraction in that lifestyle.

"Please understand that I don't mean that in a disrespectful way," Pain looked at the Rangemen. "As said on our first day here, I feel the deepest respect for each and every one of you. But what makes my team so extraordinarily successful is the fact that due to this connection between us we can react with lightning speed. Most of the time we are in and out before anybody realizes it. By sticking us all," he motioned around the room, "together, the government is impairing our chance for success. Not a smart thing to do when the failure rate is already deemed 100%."

"By the way, the same applies for your team as well. You are used to solely working with each other. We will constrain you as you will constrain us. Apart from the potential hostage rescue, you would be more effective if you would go in alone, do your job and we don't come into play until something goes wrong. Another thing that isn't sitting well with my sixth sense is the fact that you are supposed to secure the formula but eliminate the drug lord and his scientists. Why's that? Several of Terror's informants have heard rumors that associates of our government are selling information to the highest bidder. Other rumors have  
it that positions of governmental assets are being sold. That may be nothing but hot air but we have a bad feeling."

"Who are your sources?" Ranger turned pensively to T, his fingers steepled under his chin.

"Their names don't matter but they are of high influence and they have no clue that I listen in. All information outside the mission's content shared here today came from private off the record meetings and dialogues with high ranking officials."

Ranger let his eyes linger on T - she was an enigma to him. That first day Pain introduced her as "specialist for reconnaissance and espionage" but how does she come across information from such private meetings and conversations?

"I'm sure I don't need to point out that all this information is highly classified and outside the clearance of most if not all of us," Pain continued calmly. "Nothing that was said within these four walls today will leave this room. If I become aware that you are talking about this outside this room, you will learn why Terror and I were given those names, 'cause pain and terror will be the only feelings left when we're finished with you."

"There's something else we have to take into consideration. Due to our, let's say, fuck-you-attitude towards anything governmental and to the fact that we also get contracted by other governments, the Inferna Angelus have a few enemies within the government. People who want to see us damaged or even better - out of commission. I personally have made an enemy or two along the way. Terror even more. You, Ranger, are one of the best assets they have but you are also uncomfortable. With your company and your contacts worldwide you have reached an influence that not everybody likes. Whether we want to see it or not, there's a certain chance that they are after one of us, or all three, or the IA in general. I don't expect them to be after your men, besides Ram perhaps," he added with a smile.

"Nah," the 6'4" sniper said grinning, "why should they be after me. You know me, I'm a snuggle bunny."

"Ram," T signed. "I remember the flood of profanities you sent in the direction of your handler while we lugged you through the jungle. If I hadn't already been deaf back then, that sure would have done the job."

That made everyone laugh and just like that Terror had artfully lightened the mood.

"Ok, assumed you are right in every point and somebody tries to fuck with us – how can we get the hang of it?", Tank asked.

"I'd like for you to name your reconnaissance specialists and then Terror will pick a team and do a little field trip to DC."

"Hell yeah!", came enthusiastically from Knock and Scotch. They were both former Recon Marines and that assignment would be right up their alley.

Ranger looked around his men. "Knock, Scotch, Zero, Zip and Snake. How do you want to play this, T?"

"I need to prepare some things and decide whom I will take with me. Those who go will get notified within the hour. We leave at 1500 hours. Pack stuff for five days, we'll stay at our place."

A mixture of Oorahs and Hooahs sounded through the room as the five selected Rangemen fist-bumped each other.

"Beautiful, what about your assassin? There's obviously a contract out on you and you plan to go out there without further intelligence on who could be after you. I don't like that."

"Les, if my plan works, I'll know who's after me by the time we return. I admit I was unobservant at the compound. Now that I know someone's trying to snuff me, they have no chance to get me. Just trust me on this."

Lester looked at her doubtfully. He'd eliminated enough people during his service time to know how easy it was to snipe someone.

* * *

_**A/N: Hey everybody. First of all - sorry that it took me so long to update! I'm facing some health problems at the moment and am not quite myself. Besides I have to realize that this mission stuff is so much more difficult to write than I thought. Gimmie a psycho everyday - no problem - but mission-talk ... uuhhh *rollmyeyes*. Chapter 22 will be a turning point within the story and it's really difficult to write at the moment what with me getting continiously sidetracked by my other problems. Bear with me, please. And if you still like the story, send me some love. Since I have no merry man at hand I could use a little girl support. **_


	22. Chapter 22 Emotional Rollercoaster

_**Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them.**_

* * *

**Chapter 22 – Emotional Rollercoaster**

**Terror's POV**

My ass was numb. I knew I should concentrate on the FBI building and the occupants inside; but all I could think about was my sleeping ass. _Guys, this isn't working._ Agony and Rev looked at me and awaited my further commands. _We abort. Call the others to meet us at base to regroup. _Rev turned the key in the ignition while Agony took his cell from his belt.

An hour later Knock, Scotch, Zero, Zip, Snake, Rage, Agony, Rev and I were sitting around the huge dining table in the eat-in kitchen at our home in Great Falls. I had decided to take all five Rangemen with me. I mean, what better chance is there to experience them working, right? We'd been here for four days now and our progress concerning the suspected conspiracy was nil. Nobody knew anything or less than anything, if that was even possible. If that wasn't enough to put a damper on the mood, it had been raining cats and dogs for the last four days straight.

The kitchen was warm and filled with the smell of our dinner bubbling in the oven. Sean, our cook, had the afternoon and night off and wanted to take Toby to Washington for 'a night of intriguing dancing' as he put it. Jeez, as if I didn't know what he meant. Sean and I, well, we found our way around each other and that's really all. Toby was his partner and one of the most swishy and sweetest guys on earth. He was also the one who introduced me to the world of fragrances. Yeah, it's all his fault that I was now an addict, sniffing after each and every fragrant woman and man.

Through the ceiling to floor windows you could see the Potomac river rushing by some hundred yards away. The sky was a dull gray and dark clouds were racing towards DC. In the corner of the kitchen was a small fire burning in an antique stove and Toby's dog Emma was fast asleep in front of it. It was cozy and it was home; but it wasn't enough. I missed Rubén. I missed his scent, I missed his smile and I missed playing with his frying-pan hands. We've been close before; but since our one-on-one the day before the incident on the compound, we've got even closer. During my week in Princeton he didn't once leave my side. Bobby had to drag him out of my room to get him to eat something in the cafeteria. I wasn't sure what was happening but as soon as Rubén and Bobby were with me - I felt complete. Whenever they were gone, I became restless and felt like a part of me was missing. Since I left Trenton four days ago, Rubén and I had talked twice every day via web-cam, often together with Bobby and still I missed him. When had he become such an important part in my life?

Early the second morning after we left Rangeman, he suddenly appeared at the front door with a crooked smile and a pint B&J. He said that he was in the neighborhood – yeah, right Mister, and pigs can fly. I wanted to strangle him, I really did, but I was so happy to see him. Breakfast was a blast! We had ice-cream and hot chocolate with cinnamon – and we're talking real hot chocolate here. Rubén was like a different person. Right in front of our eyes he brazenly flirted with Sean. So much so that Sean blushed crimson red and with an enchanted look gave Rubén access to his kitchen utensils. Sean NEVER lets anyone in his kitchen, EVER. Luckily Toby didn't see that or he would have been a bawling mess. Rubén melted the chocolate in a double boiler. Then he cooked it with cream, milk, sugar, nutmeg and a cinnamon stick. I'd never had something like that before; it was like dying and waking up in heaven. The guys all watched us banter with each other as if we'd grown two heads. After three entertaining hours, I reluctantly kicked him out and with a heavy heart I sent him back home to Bobby. Just before he closed the door of his SUV and drove down the driveway, he told me he wasn't going to Cedar Creek. He said he felt just fine and didn't want to leave me alone. I was so angry I could have screamed. I was irritated with him for being such a chicken-shit and with me for being happy about it. Oh no sir, you will be going even if I have to club you all the way there.

But first things first.

"Ok guys, this is our fourth day here and I'm not happy with what we have so far. We now know exactly who is responsible for assigning us this mission and why they are sending us together. Kudos to Knock and Scotch for uncovering that intel - good work! However, we all agree that something stinks to high heaven and we still have no fucking clue what exactly is going on and who's pulling the strings. We need to increase the pressure. But before you all shout 'hell yes' you need to know that prior to us arriving in Trenton, three of Ranger's informants died mysterious deaths after they investigated this matter. You can back out now, no hard feelings. If you decide to continue, be aware that your lives could be on the line." I looked around the table and met eight eager faces. "Proud of you," I smiled at them and got grins in return. They'd long gotten used to constantly hearing Agony's or Rev's voice while looking at me signing and though everything was kinda 'outside the box' they loved our personal interaction. It was something they weren't accustomed to.

"Snake, you will do some anonymous calls. We have a non-traceable satellite phone especially for this purpose. You'll be on surveillance as follows: Zip, Zero, Knock, Scotch, Pentagon – take our private cars and disperse to the various entrances. Rage, CIA Headquarters – be cautious this time. We can't risk you getting caught – again." I grinned at him and got a scowl in return. "Snake, DEA – you can use one of the Escalades. Agony, Rev and I will position ourselves near the FBI again. You all have pictures, as well as all the information we have concerning our assumed targets. If they move, report and stick to them like glue but be vigilant. We don't want to alert them to us. Snake, I'll tell you whom to call and you will blackmail them. Tell them you know what they were up to, give them some details and then press money. I'd say two million; that's way beyond the worth of what's going on. If they think you don't really know what you're talking about, they are more likely to act careless. Tell them you'll call again in two days with details about the transaction. That should get them moving. I hope that one of them will panic and give us something to work with. Any questions?"

It was past midnight. Once more my ass was asleep and I felt ill through to my bones. It wasn't just my headache; something was wrong with me; really wrong. For the past three weeks I have been nursing a constant light fever. The guys haven't realized it since my temperature is generally increased because of my accelerated metabolism. If they knew I'd be in trouble. And if they knew about the constant nausea and the tremors that were getting worse and worse, hitting me out of nowhere, I'd be on my way to the next hospital. I'm never ever ill and I was scared that it was serious but I couldn't tell them. They would flip and haul me straight back to Carmen and Princeton. They always say I'm their most precious treasure but they didn't understand this fear I have of hospitals. Back in Brazil, before Grief found me, I was in a hospital. It was directly after I was tortured and raped. The doctors were brutal. I had to lay on an awful chair and spread my legs and they rammed metallic things in me down there. It hurt so much. And when I couldn't eat, they took a rubber tube, forced it down my throat and filled it with liquid meals. Sometimes it was too much and I would throw up. That made them angry and they would slap me - again and again. I know hospitals in this country don't do this; but the moment the hospital smells hit my nose all I can think of is the hospital in Brazil. In addition to my indisposition, this whole day felt as if a warning of imminent danger was coursing through me, screaming to be acknowledged.

While I was scanning Washington DC, Agony and Rev were discussing the benefits of getting married and who would get me as their maid of honor. I was bushed; my head was hurting like hell after a long day of constant scanning. Since that fucking drop I've suffered a constant dull headache that increased the more excessively I let my mind work. Today it was killing me. Wordlessly, I held my hand out to Agony. Ha, wordlessly, good one. Is there a word like 'signlessly'? Anyway, Agony understood and gave me another bottle of Blue. It was what – the ninth today? Definitely a new record.

Although I was dog-tired, I ignored the pain and let my mind reach out towards the Pentagon. What the fuck? I snapped up and lifted my hand. Instantly the guys stopped talking. A humming was coursing through my body as my mind zeroed in on the Pentagon. Something was happening. I got out of the Escalade into the pouring rain and turned south-westwards. We parked at Constitution and 15th. It didn't really matter whether I was in the car or not; but the rain and fresh night air helped me to concentrate. There was just minimal traffic on Constitution Avenue as I walked towards the Washington Monument. The fewer people that were around me meant less thoughts were assailing my mind and the better I could focus. Agony and Rev were giving me cover as I wandered through the park trying to locate whatever had me alerted a few moments ago.

_What's going on, Angel?_

_My radar just sounded an all bells alert; but I can't find the source._ I plopped down in the soaking wet grass, put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. That's why I always had Agony and Rev around me. They could watch out for me while I blocked out my surroundings. I took a few deep breaths and focused on the people in the pentagon building two miles away on the other side of the Potomac. Scanning floor after floor I finally found what I was looking for. A man was on the telephone. He must wear eyeglasses 'cause there was a pressure on the bridge of his nose that annoyed him. The man was talking to someone on the phone.

"I tell you, whoever it was he knew everything," said the voice on the phone.

"That's not possible," the man in the Pentagon answered.

"But he knew about the drug, about Escobar getting money from us and about our plan to kill him. The only thing he was wrong about was us wanting to sell the formula. He wants two million dollars."

"That shows he knows nothing at all. Twenty million would have been an acceptable demand but two? Wait for his next call and arrange a meeting. I'm sure he'll be dumb enough to accept that. Then call me; I'll take it from there," replied the man in the Pentagon sharply.

"Rangeman, LLC is the best security company out there. Plus they are paired up with the A-team of the Inferna Angelus. How do you plan to stop them?"

"Don't worry about that. It's taken care of."

"How?" questioned the voice on the phone.

"I have someone on the inside. The strongest weapon of the Inferna Angelus is the A-team's second in command. With her out of the picture, they are no better than your average Special Forces team. You mind your own business."

"Rodríguez is no problem if that's what you mean. He's mentally disturbed, his credibility is nil, nobody's taking him serious and people laugh at him. If at one point he should become a problem, he'll be taken care of I assure you. The only reason he's still alive is his memory loss and that his death would create questions. I'll put up with the latter if need be," the caller stated with no emotion.

"We'll stick to our previous plan; we'll let them do their jobs, get us the formula and then they are dispensable."

I felt like someone had sucker-punched me. Whoever the man in the Pentagon was, he had decided it was time for me to die. Not only that, Rubén was on a watch, too. Why? How? And what was that about someone on the inside? Did that mean they had someone inside Rangeman?

After he had ended the call, the Pentagon-man grabbed his phone again. I could feel his fear; feel the perspiration building on his forehead. He wasn't as cool as he'd let on during the last call. After some long moments his call was finally answered.

"We have a problem," was all he said.

"I'm overseas. I'll be back in three weeks," said the voice on the other end of the line.

The telephone connection was bad with a lot of interferences but the moment I heard the voice, everything in me screamed danger. _I know that voice; from where do I know that voice?_ Suddenly my head started spinning; the pain becoming unbearable. _Fuck._ I felt the tremors start in my arms and legs and something was constricting my breathing. _It's just in your head, Esme. Calm down._ My vision was becoming fuzzy and darkness started to close in. _That voice, that voice on the phone. It has a familiar ring and it means danger._ I frantically tried to concentrate on my happy thoughts to get my mind out of this vicious cycle. After a few minutes the pounding in my head slowly decreased and my breathing got easier. Agony and Rev hadn't noticed anything, thank God.

_Call everybody besides Rage to go home and catch some sleep. They have to leave first thing tomorrow morning. Come up with a plausible reason._

_Ay, boss. _They knew better than to question me. While Rev was calling the rest of the team, Agony scrutinized me.

_What are we doing?_

_We're gonna catch us a traitor, bro',_ I thought while I sent Rage a text to meet us at the Pentagon. _Don't think about what just happened, Esme. Get the job done you are here for._ I quickly pep-talked myself hoping I could keep up my pretense.

It was four o'clock in the morning. The night had been a full success. We followed the man from the Pentagon to his home. We now knew his name and address and put trackers on his two cars. As soon as he was asleep, we went in, planted bugs in each room and searched his study. The result was meager till Rage and I found a small sunken button behind a pile of casually stacked books on a shelf next to the mantelpiece. Once pushed, the floor to ceiling book shelf slid to the side, revealing a top notch work station with state of the art computer technology. In a few hours we would call Ranger to give him what we have so he could start digging. Plus we had to talk to him about a suitable hacker. We would need to go back and find out what was hidden in the secret computers.

All in all I should be happy considering the progress we made in regards to the case. Instead, I was sitting on my bed in my room weeping like a willow. When we came back here, Rev and Agony wanted me to stay with them; but I couldn't. There was just one person I wanted to be with right now and he was a four-hour-drive away. Since we left Trenton five days ago I missed him like crazy, so much so that sometimes it hurt – like now. I was longing for Rubén to be here. I'd never longed for someone before. Pain thought I was falling in love and that scared the hell out of me. I've never been in love, not EVER, in my whole life. The first time I was raped I was fifteen and there were many repeats after that. When I was nineteen, Grief, Pain, Furor, Jokester, Hurt and Slash found and brought me to the US. They became my family and thanks to them and their tender loving care I lost my mortal fear of men. Grief, Jokester, Hurt and Slash are gone, hopefully all united in heaven. In their place Rage, V, Agony and Rev joined our family and became brothers for me. I was so happy with them and I loved them; but what I felt for and with them was different to what I felt when I was with Rubén. But Rubén had Bobby. That realization brought another gush of tears. I wished he was here to hold me in his arms.

Instead of calming down, my weeping got more and more erratic and I started to have trouble catching my breath. I didn't understand what was happening with me. I felt like someone had pulled the ground open under my feet and I was falling into a black nothing. My heart was hammering away, the blood rushing through my ears. I was filled with a feeling of despair and hopelessness. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ I banged the heels of my hands against my forehead. Since that panic attack or whatever that was in the park of the Washington Monument, my vision was continuously darkened at the edges. I felt nauseated by the overwhelming pain in my head. God, how much I wished Rubén was here, engulfing me in his hug. I felt safe and secure when he was with me; he and Bobby. _Don't forget Bobby, Esmeralda Torres! He and Rubén are an item and you are their friend._ I chastised myself while soundless sobs were violently wracking my body. I squeezed my eyes shut and furiously wiped at the tears streaming down my face. Suddenly the door to my room sprung open and Agony and Rev rushed in anxiously. In a blink Agony had me scooped into his arms and Rev talked to someone on his cell. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I couldn't stop crying. I gulped for air, tried to get myself under control, but nothing worked.

_Mi angelito, it's ok. It's going to be ok. We've got you._ I heard Agony's voice in my head but it didn't calm me. All I could think of was Rubén and Bobby. I longed to be in their powerful arms. I felt Rev come up behind me, snuggling to us, sandwiching me between him and Agony. That was our usual sleeping position. I was tucked away between their lethal bodies. But the feeling of safety that normally came with it failed to appear. What the fuck was wrong with me? I was filled with a despair I hadn't felt for more than seven years. A new gush of tears ran down my face as I remembered the last time I had felt this exact way. The more I tried to stop, the more violent my crying became. At one point I thought I felt a prick in my arm; but I was too retreated in my mind, convulsing with my sobs and trying to keep breathing.

I must have fallen asleep 'cause when I woke up, a large warm body was wrapped around me. I was contently engulfed in Amber, Vanilla and Cinnamon. Rubén was with me. Blissfully, I snuggled deeper into his body. His mind was fascinating; it was fully alert, scanning his surroundings while his body was sleeping. Within a few seconds I felt his eyes pop open and he started to vibrate. I realized Muerte was in control and growling. Turning in his arms, I pushed him over onto his back and snuggled myself to him laying my head on his chest over his heart. This was the first time Muerte was holding me and I felt as safe and secure as I had with Rubén.

_Is that a languorous growling or did you really learn to purr for me?,_ I asked him with a smile, remembering his comment in the beach house at Cape May. As expected I didn't get an answer; he wasn't one for talking - he was more the growling kinda guy, I grinned. I felt at peace; the nervous breakdown of the night before all but forgotten. Taking a deep breath I let his unique fragrance wash over me and I relaxed even more into his arms. Just when I was about to fall back asleep, Muerte started to move. He pushed me away and got out of the bed.

"Stand up. You need to eat," came his command. His face was void of any emotion, his voice cold.

Damn. What was wrong with me? I felt the tears before they made a new appearance. Of course they were immediately detected.

"Stop that," he signed annoyed.

Sure enough that callous comment made the tears gush out even more.

"Dammit, I told you to stop that!" His movements were angry, his eyes cold.

"Shit, what do you think - I'm trying. I don't know why I can't stop. If I could quit believe me I would," I signed. A wave of anger crashed over me and more and more tears were streaming down my face.

"You are just like him. You are both such fucking crybabies," Muerte spit out looming over me.

That was it. I was wiped out; I couldn't take any more. Fast as lightning I jumped at him and pummeled him with my fists. I should have wondered why he showed no resistance but I was beyond caring. I was hurting and I didn't understand why. My head hurt, my breathing hurt; but most of all my heart hurt. I didn't understand why but it hurt like hell. I had wished for Rubén to be here and to hold me. Now Muerte was here though treating me like shit. My fists connected with his face and sides like a downpour of wrath. I vaguely registered the blood on his face but I didn't care. I was possessed by a burning rage and he was the target.

Suddenly I was lifted off him. By reflex I sent a painful jolt through the body behind me and launched myself back at Muerte who was still on the floor. Before I could even get in another good hit I was in the air again.

"Let me go!" I screamed silently. I knew I looked silly, screaming all-out without sound, but I could care less. I was fighting the hold Agony and Rev had on me. I could make them drop me but I didn't want to hurt them again.

"You asshole! You son of a bitch! You cold-hearted monster!" I bellowed over and over. I wasn't sure whether I was pushing my words into his mind or not; my head felt like splitting. "I have dreamed of Rubén here with me. All I wanted was for him and Bobby to hold and comfort me. I needed their warmth and affection to soothe and strengthen me. And here you are treating me like shit. I hate you!" Fuck, what was I saying? This was a cluster-fuck. I was so run-down; Muerte's lack of empathy so enraged me. What if Pain was right; what if I was falling in love? The thought made my choke. Shit, shit, shit!

Muerte recoiled from my words. For the first time since I first met him; I saw all his feelings open on display. I had deeply hurt him. He stumbled backwards against the door and scrambled out of the room. Bobby turned to follow him but Agony held him back and motioned to me. After a short exchange Agony followed Muerte out of the room while Bobby came over to me.

"Hey sweetie," his eyes were wet with sadness. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to avert whatever happened."

I didn't know what to do. I wrapped my arms around myself and just stood there. It felt as if I'd fall to pieces if I didn't hold myself tight. Tears were still pouring from my eyes as I sobbed, hiccupped and gulped air. I tried to sign to Bobby that he should go after Muerte, that I understood, but he stopped my hands.

"No, sweetheart, my place is here, with you. Rubén would want it that way." He gently wiped at the tears on my cheeks before he pulled me into a tender hug. After a few minutes he picked me up and carried me to the bed. I felt Pain, Furor and Rev in the room but I didn't care. My heart was hurting like hell and I needed Bobby to comfort me.

Bobby spooned me and held me close while I cried, drawing calming patterns on my arm and shoulder. After I had calmed some he asked what had happened.

"Sweetheart," he started after a pause. "You must understand that Muerte has never learned any people skills. I mean, nobody knows exactly what he was trained in; but I take a leap here and say 'being nice' wasn't on the schedule."

That made me chuckle through my tears. I imagined Muerte in a suit sitting at a perfectly prepared dining table, growling, while a genteel older lady tried to teach him table manners. Grief had put me through that a year after I came here and it sucked, royally. After the first lesson we had our biggest fight ever. I mean, what did he think? I grew up on the street. Before Grief brought me to the US my hands were my cutlery; on occasion a hunting knife and fork. Suddenly now I was supposed to dress up and eat with three different forks and knives at once. Don't even get me started on the variety of spoons. After the fourth lesson we agreed that I'm best the way I am. I was so glad.

"Since you came into our lives," Bobby continued. "I've watched Rubén and Muerte change a little more every day. You mean everything to them and they would lay the world at your feet if you let them. But while Rubén knows his way around a woman, I guess Muerte is totally clueless. Do you remember that day when we cooked for you and you ran away?"

I nodded.

"You didn't know how to deal with the situation 'cause you were missing reference points. In those crucial first years of your life nobody had ever taught you how to be friends with someone, how to like or even love someone and above all how to distinguish these sentiments from one another. As a result, you get easily scared when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I imagine it's similar for Muerte at the moment. He likes you, a lot; but at the same time he's petrified of you, whether he shows it or not. To feel all those feelings must be scary for him. He wants to be there for you but other than attack and protection he has no clue how to interact with anyone because nobody has ever taught him. I'm sure telling you to stand up and eat was his attempt to take care of you. He probably noticed Rubén or me doing it. He's worried, sweetie. And I imagine when you started to cry he got desperate 'cause he didn't know how to deal with your emotional state. Think about it; how could he know what to do? It's just my guess but I think Muerte simply doesn't know how to be nice and in turn show emotions and vulnerability. As to admitting his own feelings … I doubt he'll ever be able to do that. Unlike Rubén, Muerte is just not programed that way."

I was silently processing what Bobby just told me. Suddenly everything started to make sense. Muerte was no ass. He was as inexperienced as I was; as terrified as I was. I looked at my bloody hands. "He not once even tried to hit me back."

Bobby hugged me closer. "Of course not. Muerte would never ever dream of hurting you, sweetie. He may never be able to admit his feelings for you; but they are there and they are strong. My guess is he'd rather die than lay a hand on you."

The thought of Muerte liking me and wanting to care for me made funny things in my belly. There was a tugging sensation at my heart. I imagined Muerte in Bobby's place; spooning me, caressing my arms, and immediately felt warm, fuzzy feelings spreading through me. "Do you really think he likes me that much?" I signed hesitantly.

Bobby smiled at that. "I'm very, very sure of that, Miss Esme."

"Let me ask you something. Who was standing at your front door two days ago?"

"Rubén, why?"

"Because it was Muerte who convinced him to go in the first place. Muerte thought you wouldn't want to see him so once they were here, he let Rubén resurface and the two of you had a blast I heard."

"But that's stupid. I like him as much as Rubén. I mean he IS Rubén. They are just two identities of the same person … kinda dividing the responsibilities."

"There aren't many people who think that way – myself included. I know it's wrong but even I have a hard time liking Muerte. The same goes for Ranger and the guys. So from Muerte's point of view everybody dislikes him – where shall he get the confidence that you could really truly be different?"

"I need to find him and talk to him," I signed to Bobby and started to scramble out of the bed.

"Not so fast." He pulled me back. "Do you know how late it is? 1500 hours. Rev gave you a sedative this morning while Furor was on the phone. You slept for ten hours straight. You need to get up, take a shower and then come down to the kitchen to eat something, ok?"

I looked at Bobby. He just said the same thing that Muerte had said. I felt like an ass for attacking him.

"Hey, don't worry about it. We'll teach him to say it a bit nicer in the future and everything will be fine," Bobby smiled at me.

* * *

**Meanwhile outside in the garden**

Agony stepped out of the sliding door of the kitchen and walked down the soft lawn towards the bank of the Potomac. For the last five days he had watched Esme becoming all happy and glow whenever she talked to Rubén on the laptop. He didn't like it; but he had to face the fact that his little baby sis, the one and only person he loved more than Rev, was in the process of falling in love for the first time in her life. He knew Pain was beside himself with happiness about it, and Grief and the rest of the guys were probably throwing party after party in their heavenly confines. He, however, had a hard time being so accepting. Didn't they see the disaster that was written all over this? It wasn't the fact she was falling in love, it was who she was falling for. Of all the men on this earth, why did it have to be a gay nutcase with multiple personalities? Granted, he was capable of protecting her but… he was gay for crying out loud! That meant a one-way ticket to the heartbreak hotel. Agony sighed. _I'd rather she stayed with me and Rev for the rest of her life. We are a good team, we love her like crazy and Rev and I don't mind having her in our bed. Besides when we're home she stays in her room most nights anyway._ Sighing one more time he located Muerte crouched on a rock in the rushing water, apparently trying to clean the blood from his face. When Agony approached, he spun around, ready to attack.

"Yo, man. Relax. I mean no threat; just want to check whether you are o.k."

Muerte scrutinized him, a menacing growl emanating from him. "Why?"

"Because I promised Esme to keep my mind open regarding you. Plus she did a good number on your face; you look like shit, man."

"Why?"

Agony fixed him with a stare. "Listen Muerte, this isn't easy for me. I'm offering you an olive branch – be smart and take it."

"Why?"

"JEEZ! Why am I offering? Because I can see that you like her, a lot. Furthermore, her words hurt you. Why would it be smart to accept my offer? Because Esme loves me, as I love her. I'm her big brother, she's my baby sister. If you want to be friends with her, you need to accept me and vice versa."

Muerte stared right back at him, his stance aggressive, his eyes ice cold. Agony felt a shiver run down his spine. This man was scary on his good days; but when he had you in his scope, he was downright petrifying.

"You don't need to worry. Your sister and I are not friends," Muerte growled. "She hates me. She just said so."

_Awww shit! _Agony thought. _I can't believe I'm becoming matchmaker for my baby sis' and her pet monster. _"OK, man. We definitely need to have a one-on-one about women." He let his eyes linger on the man in front of him and thought about his approach.

"She didn't mean what she said, Muerte. I guess she shouted those things at you because you hurt her."

"I would NEVER hurt her!" Muerte was right in his face, a freezing snarl coming from his throat. Agony fought the urge to take a step back.

"I'm sure you would never do it on purpose. But, you see, women can be an enigma. You think you do everything right and WHAM they explode right in your face. You don't even wanna know how many times Rev and I have been on the receiving end of Esme's wrath. What exactly did you say or do upstairs?"

Muerte stared at the man in front of him. _What would Esme want me to do in this situation?_ He often asked himself this question and mostly didn't know the answer; but today, he knew exactly what Esme's wish would be. She would want him to trust Agony. That night at Shorty's when he destroyed the bathroom and attacked Bobby, Esme had calmed him and told him that sometimes you have to jump before you know where the journey will take you. That night she knocked him over with a feather. She never showed the tiniest bit of fearing him and by that impressed the hell out of him.

"After she woke up I got out of bed and told her to stand up because she needed to eat."

"And?"

"Nothing, that was it! She started to cry, I told her to stop. Then she cried even more so again I told her to stop. Then I told her she and Rubén were the same fucking crybabies."

_Breathe, man. You can't kill him. That would piss Esme off, majorly._ Agony closed his eyes and tried to reign in the emotions cursing through him. Shaking his head he looked back at Muerte. "You missed the class about social skills, didn't you?" Muerte just raised an eyebrow. "Ok, listen, it will take some time to get you up to par. This is what you will do now…"


	23. Chapter 23 A Purr For T

_**Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them.**_

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**Chapter 23 – A Purr For T**

**Terror's POV**

The moment I stood under my shower and let the warm water rain on me I started to relax. Bobby said Muerte liked me. That thought brought the feelings of peace and happiness back to me. But before I could relax too much, feelings of worry and inadequacy bubbled up in me. _What the heck are you thinking Esmeralda Torres! _I scolded myself. _Being in an intimate relationship is uncharted territory for you._ Is it possible to be excitedly scared? Because that was exactly how I felt at that moment. There were all those exciting feelings coursing through me; warm and fuzzy and oh so sweet. And at the same time those exact feelings scared the shit outta me. _Ok, keep your cool Torres. Remember rule no. one in 'Esme's Guide To Mastering Life' – Nobody forces you to do anything but you yourself so RELAX DAMMIT!_ I took a few deep cleansing breaths and let the warm water lave down my body. _How do I even broach the subject with him? Nah, forget it. That's way out of your league Torres. Actually, who is 'he'? Rubén? Muerte? Both? Fuck, Torres you are fucking crazy to even think about this. And what about Bobby? _I shook my head and pushed all those scary confusing thoughts off to deal with them later as I continued my shower.

While I soaped my body and hair up, I let my hands slide over my scars. My eyes were closed, as always in the shower. I had learned not to care whether others saw them, had no problem with nudity – my or the guys', but I had a hard time to consciously look at my scars. _What are you thinking Torres? Your body is disfigured. You are no longer anybody's beautiful little butterfly nor will you ever be again. Accept the truth! _I let my hands run down my front a last time and this time I watched. The right breast was distorted; there was a bulging scar running from my sternum to my pubic bone; and all the other scars that were zig-zagging down my front, some coming around my sides. And then there were the lumps – small distorted bulges of flesh where 'they' had put out their cigars. The lumps were everywhere; on my front, my back, between my legs and on my sex. I dragged in a deep breath and forced the depressing thoughts out of my mind. _Rubén and Muerte both like me. They are scarred, too; they understand me and they think I'm beautiful. Period._ I immediately felt better. I rinsed, then used my Chocomania body scrub. I loved it. It smelled like liquid chocolate and made my skin all soft and velvety. After I'd rinsed the scrub and toweled myself off, I went into my bedroom. Perhaps I shouldn't have been naked, then perhaps Bobby wouldn't have fallen off the bed, choked on his spit and nearly suffocated. I reacted so quickly that I overlooked the fact that I **was** naked. I dashed over and crouched down next to Bobby on the floor, rubbing his back and trying to calm him and making sure he was alright.

"Sweetheart, please, put on some clothes. You are killing me here," he sputtered as soon as he got enough air to talk.

Remembering that I was in my 'Birthday Suit', I quickly scrambled into my closet to find some clothes to wear. When I emerged from my closet I didn't dare to look at him but he wasn't having that.

"Hey," he pulled me into his arms and waited until I looked up at him. "I know that you and Rubén have agreed on no hiding from each other. I'd like to arrange the same rule with you. I'm sorry for what just happened. I should have told you that I'd wait for you. I hope that doesn't change anything between us; that I didn't scare you. I don't want you to begin to feel uncomfortable around me because of my reaction."

I quickly shook my head no and smiled up at him.

"That makes me glad," Bobby said relieved, his tensed shoulder sagging. "And just for the record," he bent his knees until he was level with me and looked me straight in the eyes. "I didn't see any scars. All I saw was a breathtakingly beautiful woman." Before I could recuperate from that the green light above the door started to blink. My bell was chiming. Since I couldn't hear the knocking at the door and the guys didn't just want to come in unannounced, Grief had built this bell for me. On the wall outside next to the door handle was a beautiful ornate bell button. Once pushed the green siren started to blink, alerting me that someone was in the hall, asking for admission. I quickly pressed a kiss on Bobby's cheek and jumped to the door. With all the force I had in me I launched myself at a totally surprised Muerte.

_I'm so sorry for what I said to you. You are no monster, and no asshole and no … I forgot what else I said. I was just so happy and relaxed and suddenly you were so cold and it felt like I didn't matter and that hurt so much and I got so angry._ I rambled on and on in my mind, of course with fresh tears sliding down my cheeks. Suddenly I felt him pull away. He took a step backwards, then another, until he hit the opposite wall of the hall, his cold eyes boring into me. God, his response sent a dagger straight through my heart. Why does it hurt so much? As the tears started gushing out of my eyes, I turned, pulled and pushed Bobby out of my room and slammed the door shut with what I was sure was a resounding bang. I turned the key and hurled myself onto my bed, a new round of sobs wracking my body. Damn, when had I become such a basket case.

A few minutes later the door opened and Muerte came in. I had it locked, thank you very much for respecting my privacy. Wordlessly he stood in the middle of the room and watched me. I wanted to be angry with him but I couldn't. His mind was as much in turmoil as mine and he was as hurt and confused as I was. Bobby was right with everything he said. After a few minutes I scooted to the opposite side of my bed and motioned for him to come over. It took him a few moments but finally he hesitantly laid down on the bed facing me. For a long time we just stared at each other. I saw his arm twitch as if he wanted to move it but nothing happened. I knew he was thinking hard of what to do, was cudgeling his brain what I might want him to do. What the fuck was going on here? I closed my eyes and tried to stop the tears that were still slowly running down my face. My head was hurting again and I frowned at the pain. And then I felt his fingers on my face. I twitched in surprise and the fingers were gone. A moment later they were back and cautiously wiped away my tears. The touch was so gentle, I couldn't believe it was coming from Muerte. I feared he would stop when I open my eyes but he continued gently trailing his fingers over my skin – soothing my frown, finding stray tears. His eyes followed the path of his fingers and I guess we were both enchanted. When our eyes finally met, his were filled with pain and sorrow.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. You are important to me. I'd never intentionally hurt you,"he growled.

Suddenly he stopped and pulled his hand away as if he'd just become aware that he was touching me. Instantly I missed his touch so I grabbed his hand, put it on my cheek and held it there while I closed my eyes. After a minute I felt him relax and his thoughts stopped racing in his mind. I don't know how long we laid like that but at one point he pulled his hand away again. Before I could panic he scooted over to me and oh-so-gently pulled me into a cautious hug as if he was afraid I could break. I felt safe and secure and peaceful and happy. I felt wonderful. Sighing deeply I snuggled myself deeper into his body and suddenly he started to hum. I'd never felt that vibration coming from him. It was a content hum. It was a purr.

I woke up by a hand caressing my face. When I opened my eyes, Muerte was hovering over me. I was on my back and he had himself propped up on his right forearm, his left hand drawing patterns on my forehead and cheek.

_Please, don't get angry with me but you need to stand up and eat something._

Instantly a tear started to slide down my temple – I'd been so horrible to him earlier. Muerte frowned and caught the troublemaker before it reached the hairline. His mind was racing, desperate to find out what was wrong and how to make it better.

_I'm fine. I don't know what's wrong with me. It doesn't matter what is said, I start to cry. _

With a creased brow he went back to drawing mindless patterns on my face.

_Can you make me your grandma's arroz con leche? I love it._

He shook his head no. _She isn't my grandmother, she's Rubén's, and I can't cook._ Then he started to pull away._ I can understand if you want Rubén back now. He's better in every sense._

I could feel every ounce of hurt in him as he retreated but what shot a bolt of pain right into my chest were his eyes. They'd somehow managed to be a warm black as he was just hovering over me and now they went back to cold and detached.

_I don't want Rubén back, I want you! Now, find a way to cooperate with him. He can tell you the recipe while you cook it for me._ With that I turned to the bathroom to wash my face. _Where the fuck did that come from? Muerte isn't one you can command around._ Sighing, I left the bathroom and as expected my bedroom was empty. Another tear, another wipe, and I made my way downstairs.

When I entered the kitchen I couldn't believe my eyes. The complete team plus Bobby were sitting around our dining table while Muerte stood in front of the ceramic stove top and stirred something in a big pot.

_Hey Angel, are the two of you o.k. now?_ Pain had pulled me down on his lap after everybody had hugged and kissed me and convinced himself that I was alright.

_Yeah, I think we are good. I can't believe he's really cooking for me._ I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face.

_Angel, you can get a man to do practically anything for you and you don't even realize it. What's with that talking? He's standing there and every now and then he murmurs something unintelligible._

_He's probably discussing with Rubén. I told him to get his help with the cooking._

Pain chuckled. _See that's what I mean. You can even get a man's ego and alter-ego to discuss cooking recipes._

My smile turned into the happiest grin. _Yeah, I'm Wonder Woman, hear me roar._

In no time I had a steaming bowl in front of me.

"It's Farina. Rubén says it's similar to Arroz con leche and he's sure you will like it," Muerte signed. He turned and went to the other end of the table, away from the rest of us, and sat down. His eyes were once more back to cold and detached and the accessibility I'd experienced upstairs was gone. I looked at the yellowish stuff in the bowl, topped with what smelled like vanilla cream and pureed blueberries and banana; all fresh and self-made. Seconds ago I'd been hungry. Now the look into the bowl made me nauseous.

_Angel, _Pain's arms were wrapped around me and he gently squeezed my waist. _I know so far today's been hell for you. I'm sure there's a lot of confusion raging in your head but if you want to go over to him and snuggle on his lap, then do it. Don't hold back because we are here or because you are scared. Listen to what your heart wants and go for it._

_He's with Bobby, Pain. I can't hurt Bobby. _I desperately fought the tears that threatened to spill.

_No, he isn't, Angel. Rubén is with Bobby. This is Muerte. He is with nobody. _Pain sighed._ I know this is a fucked-up situation but you and Muerte are kindred spirits regarding your inexperience. You could discover everything together. Don't let your fears rule you. He's a good guy, he would rather die than hurt you and you could start by just becoming friends. How does that sound?_

I felt him press a kiss at the nape of my neck. Another look into the bowl and I knew what I wanted. Muerte's eyes followed me as I walked over to Bobby.

_Bobby, is it ok with you if I sit with Muerte?_ He smiled at me as he nodded yes but his eyes were sad. Bobby was tired. Not physically but mentally and above all emotionally. It felt like there was a continuously increasing heaviness in his mind; like a dark cloud that made everything look bleak and hopeless.

I placed the bowl in front of Muerte, ignored his raised eyebrow and plopped down onto his lap. At first he stiffened but much quicker than upstairs he relaxed and I felt his arms come around me, hugging me to him. Just as I took the bowl in my hands I felt a purr in my back, vibrating through me. Needless to say the nausea was gone and I realized how hungry I was.

"As much as I would like to delay it longer, we are unfortunately facing a truly fucked-up situation." Pain started after I'd finished eating. "Agony and Rev gave me the corner points but I'd like to hear the whole story and I'm sure Bobby, Rubén and Muerte want to hear it, too."

_I will switch over to Agony, ok?_ Muerte nodded and reluctantly set me free.

"The situation is as follows. Three years ago the DEA was following the circumstances regarding drug deaths in Miami and became aware of this new drug that influences senses. Though they investigated every possible angle over the years they couldn't produce any information regarding who was responsible and where the drugs were produced. The drugs seemed to appear out of nowhere. Then a few months ago the CIA got intel that someone is offering a drug as a biological weapon that shuts down all major senses. They couldn't identify who was behind that offer but determined that it came from Colombia. They gave the information to the FBI who in turn called in the DEA. The DEA of course immediately saw the thread linking this drug to their mysterious drug. Together the three branches worked out that the origin of the drug must be Colombia. So, along with the detailed knowledge of what the drug is capable of doing and how it is transmitted is all they have been able to unearth. The CIA sent someone undercover down to Colombia to show interest in the drug but nobody ever made contact. The DEA down there also has no clue who could be behind it. Together they decided to contract Rangeman to deal with the situation and Rupert, the CIA Deputy Director of Intelligence, insisted on bringing in the Inferna Angelus. He had successfully worked with us, me especially in the past, and was convinced that I could be of help particularly because of my tracking and reconnaissance skills. Since he's acquainted with our boss; he called him to cash in on a favor. I guess our CEO could hardly say no to a CIA Deputy Director so we got contracted, too. It was pure chance that Rangeman and the IA were united for this assignment."

The men had listened intently and were now lost in thought. Just Muerte was watching me, his cold eyes boring into me once more. His mind was working at an unbelievable speed. Slowly but surely I could see why he'd once been such a successful operator; I've never met a mind as fast and agile as his.

"There's more," he growled as a statement rather than a question.

"There is. I wanted to give you the chance to digest the good news before I dump the bad news on your lap."

"What does that mean?" Pain snapped up.

"After Snake did his calls nothing happened for a long time. Then shortly after midnight, I suddenly detected something going on at the Pentagon. I could listen in to phone calls between one Gerard DuPuits, resident of Adams Mill and Ontario, and two unknown parties." I took a deep breath, then another. I knew it was about to become ugly, especially with Muerte. "The first caller was one of the men Snake had called and blackmailed, I can't say who. I'd told Snake the details he was supposed to give, namely that he knew about the drug and that he knew of their involvement. Then I followed a gut instinct and had Snake tell them that he knew they were illegally giving the responsible drug lord government money and were planning to kill him once the formula is in their hands so then they in turn could sell it to the highest bidder. Then I let Snake press them for two million dollars. I was hoping whoever the traitors were would become careless thinking their blackmailer doesn't know what a powder keg he's holding in his hands."

"Did it work?", Pain asked.

I couldn't continue. Muerte was staring at me and it felt like we were frozen in time. He knew. I don't know how but he knew what was coming next. His whole demeanor started to change. Right in front of my face he morphed to what I guess was the true La Muerte. I felt my breathing constrict by the power he was emanating, the death that was oozing out of him. I wasn't scared of him but the peaceful, happy feeling from earlier had definitely crawled for cover.

_Tell me, _I heard him growl in my mind.

_Fuck, Fuck, Fuck._ Taking a few more deep breaths I locked eyes with him and continued.

"Apart from selling the formula I was dead on with my instincts. The person getting the money from them and probably also the one developing the drug is a man named Escobar. DuPuits reacted to the amount of money as expected; with arrogance. He instructed the party on the telephone to arrange a meeting with Snake and he would 'take it from there'.

"Elimination," Rage said.

"Most probably."

"Continue," came Muerte's sharp command, his eyes getting colder by the second.

"The man on the telephone then pointed out that Rangeman is the best security company there is plus they'd be paired up with the Inferna Angelus A-team. He asked how DuPuits planned to stop us." My hands trembled. "He answered that there was nothing to worry about; that it was being handled. He had someone on the inside." I stopped. Muerte was staring at me. It felt as if the whole room was filled with lethal energy, pulsing from him, leaving a shock wave whenever it hit a firm body. With unexpected grace he slowly stood up. His hands remained at the edge of the table, bearing his weight, his coal black eyes boring into me.

"Continue!", he growled menacingly.

I gulped. I wanted to look away but I couldn't. It felt like he had locked his will with mine and had me under a spell. "He said the strongest weapon of the Inferna Angelus would be me. With me out of the picture, the guys were no better than any average Special Forces team."

Nobody could have expected what happened next. With a bloodcurdling roar Muerte lifted his end of the massive dining table and smashed it down again. My dish and several glasses fell to the ground, splitting into thousands of pieces. The roaring continued as Muerte turned to the kitchen, grabbed aimless objects from the counter top and threw them to the ground or against walls. Next he tore the doors of the cupboards and threw dishes, bowls and more glasses to the ground. When nothing was left to destroy he darted out of the kitchen. His roar subsided as he apparently left the house out of the front door.

"Well," Pain signed after we'd taken in the destruction around us, "I'd say your new friend has quite a temper."

The instant he was finished, we heard shots ringing out; gun shots in quick succession. We stormed through the house and when we arrived outside, Muerte was standing in front of one of the Escalades. His gun was pointed at the tires that were totally flattened. Slowly he turned to us.

"Tell me the rest!", he snarled, sounding more menacing than I'd ever heard him before.

I didn't want to; but I knew it had to be done. Hesitantly I signed, "DuPuits suggested that the man on the phone should take care of his own problems. Thereupon the man answered that Rodríguez would be no problem. You were mentally disturbed, your credibility nil, nobody could take you serious and people laugh at you. If at one point this should change and you become unmanageable, you could be taken care of with no problem. He then continued that the only reason you were still alive is your memory loss and that your death would create questions but he would put up with the latter if the need arises."

Everybody watched Muerte carefully, expecting the next eruption of anger, but nothing happened. He just stood there, staring at me. His mind was reeling with what I had just told him. And then, piece by piece, I saw the man in front of me breaking. 'Mentally disturbed', 'credibility nil', 'no one takes us serious', 'everybody's laughing at us' – the thoughts were repeating over and over in his mind, getting faster and more destructive with every lap. After a few minutes he let his gun fall to the ground, wordlessly passed us and vanished into the house.

This time I welcomed the tears running down my cheek. The heart shattering hurt was back in full force as I followed Muerte in my mind through the house. The infamous, feared La Muerte was broken, his mind shutting down.

"Terror. Keep it together." Pain's voice was harsh but I knew he didn't mean it. I wiped away the tears and turned to my team. "After what I just said, DuPuits told the man on the phone that they would stick to their previous plan, let us do our jobs, then get the formula from us. After that we were dispensable and it was obvious that he meant that we would be killed. After he had ended that call, he called another person. No names were mentioned. The only thing he said was 'We have a problem' whereupon the man on the line answered 'I'm overseas. I'll be back in three weeks.' That was the whole conversation. The problem is that I knew the voice of that man. I can't place it but the moment I heard it everything in me started screaming 'danger' and my body started to shut down. I fought against it and was fine within moments; but the reaction to the voice was violent. He's the one who holds the most danger for us; he's the one who wants me killed; I'm sure of that."

My team, my brothers, looked at me in shocked silence. They surely hadn't expected what I had just revealed to them.

With trembling hands I asked them, "I'm sorry but I can't do this now; I need to see after Muerte. Can we hold this off until dinner?"

Pain just nodded at me. I turned to Bobby. "You coming with me?" To my surprise he shook his head no. I don't know what got into me, I went over to him and with everything that was in me, I slapped him as hard as I could in the face. I'm sure the sound could be heard till Great Falls. Then I turned to the house and to Muerte who I knew laid huddled on my bed.

There was nothing I could do for him. When I came into my room and sat down beside him, he had already retreated so far back into his mind that I couldn't reach him anymore. His eyes were open but his body lifeless. The last time I saw him like that was about four and a half years ago when we visited him at Walter Reed hospital. I lifted his droopy arms, snuggled myself against him, wrapped his arms around me and cried. Some time later the door opened and Furor cautiously stepped into the room, the rest of the team behind him.

_He's gone, Furor. I can't reach him anymore. _I wiped at my eyes._ Where is Bobby?_

_He left Angel. Grabbed his stuff, got into his car and drove away._

With my sobs a new gush of tears came.

_Why did he do that? I thought he loved Rubén._

_Perhaps he loves Rubén but can't love Muerte – I don't know, Angel._

I caressed Muerte's face in front of me. _Don't worry about him. Do you hear me? He will come back to us. I'm sure. He just needs to process everything. Until then it will be just the two of us but that's ok. We will manage that, right? I won't let you down. You're stuck with me. _I snuggled even closer against him and gave reign to my grief and despair.

_Angelito ... Angelito,_ I felt a tugging at my hands. _You need to let him go. We'll bring him to Cedar Creek; everything's taken care of._ That woke me out of my stupor. Agony was lying spooned behind me, propped on one arm while with the other he gently pried my hands from where I was gripping Rubén's hoodie. His eyes were still open and as unseeing as before. Every now and then he would blink but his mind was even more shut down than before. It felt as if his body was still here, but he was gone. Furor was measuring Rubén's blood pressure and then pricked a needle into his arm.

_What did you give him?_

_It's a sedative. Ranger called his doctor at Cedar Creeks who in turn called me and advised me how to prepare him for the transport._

I felt like I was in a daze. Nothing made sense.

_Why are we bringing him there? Why aren't they picking him up? Why can't he stay here for a while, Furor? We can take care of him._

_Angelito, listen to me,_ Agony hugged me from behind. _Believe me, if we could take care of him, we would. We know how much he means to you. We just don't have the means. Look at him. He needs serious help. Help that we can't give him. Besides if they are watching him, that means he's in danger. He needs to be protected and right now the best protection for him is to vanish from the face of earth. Ranger is sending men as guards for him, men he absolutely, unconditionally trusts. They aren't connected to Rangeman in any way. We told him about the potential mole inside his company and he has assured us that these men are 100% trustworthy. Come on, let's get going. It's a ten hours drive. Ranger offered the company jet but we agreed that it would be too obvious. Nobody must know Rubén's whereabouts._

Taking a few deep breaths, I wiped the tears away. _You will see. Once you are there you'll be better in no time. _I caressed his face and pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek before I scrambled out of the bed to use the bathroom. Rev had already packed a duffel for me and prepared one of the Escalades. The backseats were all turned down and they'd put a mattress and several blankets in the back. When everything was ready, Pain picked Rubén up in a fireman's carry and brought him out of the house to the waiting Escalade.

"Rage and Furor are taking the Escalade with Rubén, Agony and Rev will take the second one. You can drive with them; but if you want to stay with Rubén, you have to drive in the back with him since the seats are all turned down," Pain signed to me.

"I am staying with Rubén."

"Thought so," Pain smiled his kind smile. "Rev and V thoroughly searched the cars for trackers and found nothing. I hope this means you are free to go undetected. Your guns, knives and throwing stars are in your duffel. Your riffles are behind the shotgun front seat. Agony and Rev have additional firearms. V and I will leave for Rangeman in a few hours and meet up with Ranger. We'll make everything look normal and tell people you five stayed behind for further surveillance. Are you ready to take over command?"

I nodded. I was; more than ever. Rubén was under my protection now and nobody fucks with me or those who are mine. When Pain turned I grabbed his arm.

"Try to find Bobby. Tell him I'm sorry for slapping him. He can text me when he's ready."

Pain nodded and stepped back into the house while I climbed into the back with Rubén. Soon we were on the I-66 towards Manassas. It was dark outside and once more it was raining. I snuggled myself close to him, covered us with two of the comforters and listened to the stillness in his mind.

_I will get whoever is after us, big one, I promise! And I will make Bobby see what a wonderful man you are – no matter which personality is out front._


	24. Chapter 24 Cedar Creek

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 24 – Cedar Creek**

It was seven o'clock in the morning when the two Escalades turned into the driveway of the Cedar Creek Mental Health Care Institute. The scenery was breathtaking. Undulating green pasture tamed by white fences, the first sun rays sparkling in the morning dew and mares with their fowls grazing peacefully in their paddocks. As the IA stopped in front of the main entrance, two men stepped out and made their way towards them.

"Furor, correct?" asked the older one with a warm smile. "I remember you from your past visits. You always came together with another man, Grief I think, and a small deaf-mute woman."

"That's correct, Dr. Thompson, I'm impressed you remember me. It's a pleasure to see you again though I wished it would be under different circumstances." Furor shook the hand offered to him.

"Yes, same here. Where is Rubén?"

"He's in the back of the Escalade on the right. The woman you remember, Esme or Terror as we now call her, is laying with him and still sleeping. I wasn't sure how you wanted to proceed so I haven't woken her."

Dr. Thompson turned to the other man who had silently waited at his side. "Henk, may I introduce Furor to you – Furor, this is Dr. Henk Garvey. He and I will both be working with Rubén. After Rubén left us last time we recognize what a potential our methods could have for soldiers and veterans suffering psychological maladies due to past combat experiences. Half a year later we started our Military Program and Henk here became the head of it," Dr. Thompson explained.

"Furor, it's nice to meet you. Dr. Thompson gave me a quick overview of Rubén's medical history. I will delve into his file as soon as we have him settled and I've had the opportunity to speak with him," Dr. Garvey said. His eyes were kind, his smile warm and his voice soothingly rich. Furor instantly liked him knowing he and Rubén would make some progress. Rubén would respond well to the gentle nature of the doc; but with Muerte, the jury was still out.

"Dr. Garvey, I'm not sure what Dr. Thompson has told you; but at the moment Rubén is in a state where no conversation is possible."

"Oh, I'm sure there are some things I can draw from him. One doesn't need a voice and words to convey a message," Dr. Garvey smiled kindly.

After Rodríguez was brought to his room, Dr. Garvey in fact talked to him while he examined him thoroughly. Once more his eyes were open but as far as Furor could tell, he didn't react once to the doctor's questions.

An hour later they all sat in Dr. Thompson's office to fill out the necessary paperwork and talk about yesterday's happenings that brought Rodríguez into this state. Mainly Esme was the one answering the doctors' questions.

"So that means his Muerte identity has come back in full force?" asked Dr. Thompson with his fingers steepled in front of his mouth.

"Terror," Dr. Garvey politely turned to her and spoke softly. "You seem to have a very subtle perception for what is going on within Rubén. May I ask you a few questions? I wish for you to answer them to your best ability. Should you not know the answer or are unsure, that's OK. There is no pressure, just say so, no harm done. Is that OK with you?"

T nodded.

"Given the following two possibilities which one would suit Muerte better: Is he more like an inner voice that sometimes gives you advice, encourages you or prevents you from making a mistake; or is he an independent person that has a life of its own and separates itself from Rubén?"

Without hesitation T signed to Rev who translated, "Definitely independent. It's like Rubén Angel Rodríguez is the whole person and is split in the Rubén-identity and the Muerte-identity. Each one of them has his own strengths and weaknesses and is wonderful; but just together they make the whole person Rodríguez … kinda like a package deal. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Terror, that makes a lot of sense. I'm in awe of your power of observation," Dr. Garvey smiled with an expression of utter amazement on his face. "Who would you say is the domineering identity?"

That made T pause for a moment. "I think it's Rubén though Muerte is the one with more power."

"Can you explain that to me?"

T looked around at Furor and the rest of the man.

"Terror, do you feel what you want to say is too personal for everybody to hear?" Dr. Garvey asked.

T nodded. _Sorry guys._

_No sweat, Angel. We'll have a look around. Call when you need us. _Rage thought and he, Agony and Rev left. Furor raised an eyebrow at her.

"Will you speak for me?" she signed to him.

"Of course. I'll go over there by the wall then it's more like you are alone with them." Furor signed back before turning to the two doctors. "I'll stay and translate for you but I will retreat to the wall over there giving you a semblance of privacy."

After sorting her thoughts, T started, "I think Rubén is the domineering part 'cause he has the much more complex identity. He still can't remember most of his service time but he has memories of his whole life before that. He knows who he is, where he was born, where he grew up, about his parents and siblings, about what he loved, et cetera. He has a life to remember with cherished memories. Muerte doesn't share that privilege. He starts to exist the moment he came to life which was only a couple months ago. He has no memories whatsoever before that. I guess it's because Rubén is blocking the memories of his service time and Muerte is a product of that time. Muerte can just access what Rubén remembers and since he remembers nothing of that time Muerte has no past." T stopped and frowned thinking about how frustrating that must be for Muerte.

"That's quite confusing, isn't it?" Dr. Garvey smiled kindly at her.

"You have no idea," T signed and rolled her eyes making both doctors chuckle.

"Do you know for sure of Muerte's abilities to access Rubén's memories? Because split personalities normally have no memories of their other identities' actions."

"I'm not sure," T signed hesitantly.

"No worries, Terror. As I said, you tell me what you are able and it's alright if you can't answer some questions," Dr. Garvey soothed her.

"I don't know about this memory thing; but when I asked Muerte to cook me something yesterday, he said he didn't know how to cook. So I told him to cooperate with Rubén. When he was standing at the stove the two of them seemed to talk to each other. At least Muerte was talking and I guess Rubén answered in his mind." Talking about it made it somehow sound a tad bit crazy, T thought.

"You know Esme," Dr. Garvey addressed her warmly. "In the end it doesn't matter what name we give it, the most important thing is that we help Rubén and Muerte. So, let's not worry about their memories anymore, OK?"

T nodded.

"OK, you said why you think Rubén is the domineering one; but why do you think Muerte has more power?"

"Alright, but there's more about Rubén I think you should know," T started again. "Rubén hates himself. He hates how he looks with all those scars. He hates how he's unable to interact with people. He perceives himself as weak and damaged 'cause he just sees what he can't do any more in comparison to how he was before he was captured and held prisoner. He's been trying to become the Rodríguez he was before his internment but it didn't work. I tried to make him see what a wonderful person he is and he started to feel better about himself. We had so much fun together with Bobby and now they are both gone and I don't know what to do…" T stopped when Furor was suddenly crouching in front of her. It was then that she realized that tears were running down her face. For a moment she felt like a crybaby.

"Sorry," she signed after she had dried her face and drank some of the water that Dr. Thompson offered her. "Basically, I think Rubén is insecure and full of self-doubt. He says himself he doesn't know who he is; once he finds his place in life – perhaps a new job, new hobbies, new priorities, things that give him reassurance, I think he'd be fine. He's just in a blind alley at the moment. But Muerte, he's another story. Bobby told me that before Rubén's captivity it was like Muerte was a suit or costume Rubén put on when he was called for government missions. He used Muerte to act in a certain way and to protect himself against the impressions these jobs brought with them. But it was a deliberate act, controlled by Rubén. Now Muerte decides when to pop up and there's not much Rubén can do against it." Then T went on to inform the doctors about the attack on Bobby at Shorty's, about the attempted suicide, about the talk at Ranger's place, the night she fell asleep at Bobby's place, the night she woke up in Princeton and finally the events of yesterday. "But Muerte's not a bad guy," she signed vehemently. "He has all this anger and hatred in him; but he doesn't know why. He's constantly fighting the urge to attack someone; but again doesn't know why. He strives for distressing people; but he doesn't really want to, he just can't help himself. He's so lost and he's utterly scared."

"What is he scared of, Terror?" Dr. Thompson asked.

"He has no memories. Rubén at least remembers his life before his service time; but Muerte has nothing at all. It's like he's never existed and suddenly *pop* he's there and filled with violence. Muerte feels dependent on Rubén, as if his life is contingent on Rubén's goodwill. That scares the shit out of him 'cause Rubén absolutely hates Muerte. It had become better lately; there was at least some acceptance, but Muerte was still scared that Rubén could one day decide to kill him by simply not letting him come back to the surface. That's partly why he kept Rubén awake so much, why he continuously bullied him. Muerte wanted to keep Rubén weak so that he would never gain the strength to conquer him. Bobby told me that one morning he caught Rubén banging his head against a cupboard door. I'm sure it was because of Muerte."

"Do you know what exactly Muerte does to bully Rubén?"

"He's singing, rhyming, constantly talking shit without context, constantly telling Rubén what a pussy and looser he is," T hesitated for a moment. "Recently, Rubén was getting stronger because he felt better about himself. Then, Muerte started to threaten Rubén with killing my family if Rubén wouldn't comply with his wishes."

Furor gasped at that. "Angel, why haven't you told us that before?"

"Because Agony hated him anyway!" T was right in his face; her temper turned on full blast. "He never gave him a chance and you all just watched and didn't say anything! If I had told you, you all would have started to hate him! He's my best friend. I love him. I need him at my side. I don't want…" T stopped suddenly mid-sentence, her eyes as big as saucers, and put her hands onto her open mouth. What had she just said? Looking at Furor, he had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. He gave her a minute to enjoy the moment and all the emotions that came with it and then drew her into a bear-hug. _I think this is the most wonderful moment of my life so far,_ he thought as he squeezed T and lifted her more than a foot into the air.

"Dr. Thompson, Dr. Garvey, sorry for the interruption but we just had a 'once-in-a-lifetime' moment." Furor turned to the doctors who were watching the scene in front of them. T stood in the middle of the room looking lost and dumbfounded by her admission. When she didn't move, Furor took her hand, pulled her over to the couch and sat down pulling her on his lap.

"I think there is something else you should know," Furor said to the doctors. "You are aware of Rubén and Bobby's gay relationship, aren't you?" he asked them.

Dr. Thompson nodded. "Yes, though Bobby informed me that they were no longer romantically involved."

"Yes, that's partly true; but as far as I can tell they were on their way to reviving their relationship. What could make the situation a tad difficult, however," Furor took Esme's hand and smiled at her, "is the fact that Muerte has fallen in love with our Angel here."

Once more T's eyes reached saucer-status. "You don't know that!"

Furor gave her a flashing white smile. "Believe me Angel, a man as experienced as I am can see that." He was unconditionally, irrevocably happy for her. Of course there was a good chance that things would turn south; but just realizing that she was in love was an immense step for her in overcoming her past. However it would turn out, nobody could take this victory away from her and he could finally begin to prepare his birds and bees speech. Oh how long he had waited for that moment, he couldn't stop the grinning that spread over his face. That will be a noteworthy day.

"Gentlemen," Dr. Garvey nodded at Rage and Furor who were standing guard in front of Rodríguez's door. Dr. Thompson and he had a long conference call with Rodríguez's employer, one Carlos Manoso, about the current threat to Rubén Rodríguez's life. They had agreed to the additional guards to ensure his safety while receiving treatment at the facility. Tonight Rodríguez's friends stayed with him. Beginning tomorrow and for the remainder of his stay, there would be a rotation of twelve men who would provide a 24/7 guard for him in three shifts; two always with him and two securing the compound. It was nine p.m. and he wanted to make a last check on his new patient before settling into the night shift. As he opened the door and stepped into the room, he realized he wasn't alone. The room was dark except for a small bedside lamp that threw off a soft light. Terror was lying in the bed snuggled up to Rodríguez. Upon his entry she straightened up and made to leave but he shushed her with his hands and signed to lay back again.

"You look comfy where you are. Please stay, I just wanted to check on him before my night shift starts." Dr. Garvey pulled a chair to the opposite side of the bed. "Hello, this is Dr. Garvey again," he greeted Rodríguez as he took a small metallic thingy from his shirt pocket and slowly slid it down the arm facing him. "I came to see whether I could perhaps coax a little reaction from you since your friend is here. I'm sure it would make her very happy." He turned Rodríguez hand so that his palm was showing. In sure slow movements he traced every finger from the palm to the last digit with the thingy. "You know, T told Dr. Thompson and me what happened over the last few weeks and it sure is a mess. And now someone threatens her life; the life of the one person you feel keeps you sane. I can understand why you would feel overwhelmed." Dr. Garvey had moved on to the leg closest to him. He repeated the same steady motion on Rodríguez's leg down to the sole of his foot tracing from the heel to the toes. "But you know what? I would try not to worry so much. She is a very smart, tough, young woman who can take care of herself plus she is surrounded by very dedicated friends. They will take care that nothing happens to her until you can take over – and you will take over, sooner rather than later." He had moved on to Rodríguez opposite leg and finished the leg and arm without further comment. When he sat back on the chair he saw that T was grabbing for something in her back pocket and produced a small notebook and pen.

'What did you just do?' she wrote.

"Hmmm; you could say I kinda tickled Rubén. Give me your arm." When T stretched her arm over Rodríguez body, Dr. Garvey produced the small thingy and showed it to her. It was like a pen but at the end it had a tiny toothed wheel. He put it on her upper arm and slowly rolled it down to her wrist. "How did that feel," he asked afterward.

'Funny. And now my arm feels tingly,' she wrote.

"See; and that's why I'm doing it with Rubén. It has something to do with the nerves in his skin sending tiny messengers running to his brain where they jump up and down and shout 'Whoa, we're tingling; we're tingling!'" T chuckled about the animated doctor in front of her. "Rubén's brain is numbed at the moment. It's like a heavy, tenacious fog that nothing can penetrate. His subconsciousness is doing that to protect him from the outside world and its overwhelming demands. What we want is that something makes its way through that fog to the place where he is right now. So beginning tomorrow two of my colleagues will start working with him. They will put things in his hands that have different forms and surfaces – round, oval, octagonal, plushy, rough, soft, those kind of differences - and they will do some special gymnastic with him. Gymnastic that was especially developed to get those messengers running. In the evening I will come and talk with him about our days while I do this form of nerve stimulation. All these activities will send little happy messengers to his foggy mind. When one of them reaches him in his retreat, it hopefully makes him realize 'Hey, there's something happening there that feels funny. I'll wait and see whether it happens again'. And step by step it will coax him out of his frozen state to a point where we can reach him again. It doesn't mean that he wakes up and starts shooting shit with us. It will perhaps just be a little eye or hand movement; but it will be a big step toward claiming his new life."

T grabbed the notebook again. 'Can you make him come back to me? I mean really come back?' she wrote and hesitantly pushed the notebook over to Dr. Garvey.

"I can't _make_ him do anything, T. But I can give him incentives to do it on his own. Once he realizes you are here and that you love him, I'm sure he will fight like hell to come back to you all by himself."

T blushed and snuggled her head against Rodríguez shoulder and started to play with his fingers. Just when Dr. Garvey thought to leave, she grabbed her notebook once more. 'I love his hands. Aren't they amazing? Even if I stretch my hand I can't even reach his fingers' middle digits.' When Dr. Garvey looked up from the notebook, T showed him how small her hand was in comparison to Rodríguez's. He looked at her for a minute and then decided to just ask. She never once gave him a reason for his surmise; but his gut was telling him that something was distressing her and perhaps he could help her a bit if she wanted.

"What is it that you love so much about this difference in size?"

T ignored him. She had read in his thoughts what he wanted and she scolded herself for mentioning her feelings to him. Dr. Garvey just sat there, watching her with his warm, kind eyes. They were sitting like that for at least ten minutes; T playing with Rodríguez's hands and Dr. Garvey watching her and not once giving her a feeling of pressure. Without making the conscious decision she wrote. 'They make me feel safe; like they could stop any threat to me.'

"That's a comforting thought, isn't it? To have someone who takes care of you, who protects you, so you can let all your defenses down and just relax. My wife is doing that for me. When everything becomes too much, she takes over command and orders me to rest. She can be a real lioness," Dr. Garvey smiled and winked at T.

A prolonged silence followed before T pulled the notebook over to her again. 'I've never been in love before. I have all those feelings in me and I don't know what to do with them.' She didn't know why she was doing this; talking to a total stranger about things she couldn't even share with her brothers. They'd seen her at her worst, there was no need to hide from them; but she could never seek advice from them about matters of the heart.

"What feelings do you mean?"

T took a deep breath, then another. Tears were pooling in her eyes. _Tears are a sign that you're alive,_ she repeated in her mind like a mantra. When she felt like she was somewhat in control again, she reached for the notebook. 'There is this strange feeling in my belly. I felt it yesterday with Muerte and in the past when Rubén would come close to me. It feels – fluttery, I guess. Then when they are holding me in their arms or we play fight, all I can think about is that I want them to kiss me and to touch me. That scares me because I've never felt something like that before. I'm scared that they may laugh at me when I tell them or even worse they do show their affection and then they want more. I'm just not ready for that. I know they would never hurt me; but they are men and they have needs and now they are all gone. Rubén is gone, Muerte is gone, Bobby is gone! Oh God, Bobby. Rubén has Bobby; he'll never kiss me because he loves Bobby and I'm just his friend." T abruptly stopped writing. Dr. Garvey offered her a handkerchief for the tears that had sprung and freely fell. Hesitantly, T pressed the notebook into his still outstretched hand and averted her eyes.

To say Dr. Garvey was moved by T's admissions is an understatement. The trust she was putting in him by sharing her fear and insecurity floored him. She showed all the classic signs of being a rape victim; it must have cost her a great deal to write something this telling of herself. He watched her ignoring him; once more playing with Rodríguez's hand. What was it with this hand fixation? When she showed no sign of looking up anytime soon, he gently stopped her playing fingers.

"Esme, I admire the courage you've displayed by sharing your thoughts. Please know you are welcome to ask me any questions and I will answer them honestly and without judgment. I have three adolescent daughters; so I'm well prepared for whatever you want to know," Dr. Garvey paused speaking softly to her with true compassion. "Should you rather talk to a woman, we can see whether you can build the necessary trust in one of my female colleagues. Does that sound good?"

T nodded shyly. She trusted very few people and Dr. Garvey's demeanor was almost a magnet for her. Slowly, she was letting her guard down because of his gentle nature.

"You said Bobby is gone, too. Where has he gone?"

T shrugged and resumed her finger play. Her languidness perplexed Dr. Garvey. Thinking about what she'd told them this morning he had a suspicion.

"T, did Bobby abandon you and Muerte?"

That broke the damn and the tears started to fall in earnest. Dr. Garvey just let her cry. After a few minutes she started to calm. He stood up, went to the attached bathroom and returned with a cold, wet washcloth. Silently, he gave it to her and just sat back down. If it was up to him, the treatment of Rodríguez would involve the treatment of T, as well. On the one hand, it was obvious that they had a deep connection and Cedar Creek always involved their patients' families in their treatment plans. On the other hand, T obviously struggled with her own demons and needed help to deal with them.

"Why do you think he did leave?", Dr. Garvey asked after T was calmly playing with Rodríguez's hand again.

After a moment she took the notebook he offered her and began to write. 'He told me he was depressed even before my arrival in Trenton because of his breakup with Rubén and the feeling of helplessness. He saw Rubén suffer and couldn't do anything. Then suddenly Rubén sought his nearness again and they became closer, a little bit every day. He was so happy. Then Muerte re-emerged and Rubén was scared shitless. He moved in with Bobby and they shared a bed and started kissing and stuff. Bobby was joy and happiness incarnate. The first dent came when Rubén tried to kill himself. That shocked Bobby to the core because he thought things were starting to go so well. From that day on Muerte became more … I don't know … violent? … pronounced? Bobby had to watch again how Rubén suffered and again he couldn't help. I know that was eating at him. Also, Muerte had become such a life of his own, it was difficult for Bobby to deal with the personality shift. Rubén had promised to come here to Cedar Creek; but suddenly he started to delay his departure. Bobby started to hate Muerte more and more because he thought everything was Muerte's fault. Then I had an accident and laid paralyzed at the hospital. Muerte took over control and didn't let anyone besides Furor near my bed, not even Bobby. It took nearly three days before Muerte willingly let Rubén back to the surface. Suddenly it was as if there was always a black cloud of hopelessness over Bobby's head. He became more and more silent, retreated even. I tried to talk with him about it; but he blocked me out and said everything was fine. Then yesterday he consoled me after Muerte and I had that fight. Bobby apologized because he wasn't there to avert what happened. For some fucked up reason he was blaming himself for how Muerte behaved, he was so sad and tired, emotionally tired. I think he has given up on Rubén because of Muerte and perhaps, seeing Muerte so violent yesterday, he saw no chance to ever be happy with Rubén again. I don't understand how he could just leave, though.'

Dr. Garvey read the note and thought for a moment before giving it back to Terror.

"You know, sometimes we have to get away from what is troubling us to see where we stand, what we want. From what I read in Rubén's file, Bobby has stood beside him for many difficult years. Seeing the one you love suffering can be exhausting and very painful for yourself. Perhaps Bobby just needs some space to clear his mind. I wouldn't condemn him. He seems to be a very loyal friend but he's just a human being. Give him some time to come around." Dr. Garvey smiled at her encouragingly. "T, I'm sorry; but I have to go. I need to relieve my colleague. I'm here all night, most probably in my office as long as there's no emergency. Come over whenever you need me. Otherwise I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

When T nodded, he squeezed her hand. "Sleep well."

T watched Dr. Garvey leaving the room. Once he was gone she slipped out of her cargoes and snuggled back into Rodríguez under the cover. He had his eyes still open, blinking periodically. Ever so cautiously, T let her fingers caress Rubén cheek before she pushed herself up and pressed a shy kiss at the corner of his mouth.

The next morning Rage woke her up to warm sunlight streaming through the window. She'd not once woken up as it is her normal nightly routine. _Rise and shine, Angel. We need to leave. Dr. Garvey didn't want to wake you this morning when his shift ended; but I gave him your email-address and he said he'd write you._

T stretched languidly and then looked up at Rodríguez. His head was turned in her direction but his eyes were unseeing. _Good morning,_ she pushed to him. _I hope you slept well._ And right before Rage's surprised eyes, she pressed another kiss to the corner of Rodríguez's lips.

_I hope he won't be angry with me that I kissed him?_ She was suddenly overcome with insecurity.

_Never Angel. Quite the contrary; he will kick his own ass because he missed that kiss._ T gave him one of her beautiful bright smiles that could light up whole rooms. It seemed like an eternity since he had seen one. _Furor is taking a shower and I sent Agony and Rev to get breakfast for us all and bring back here. So how about you quickly freshen up before they return?_

T nodded to Rage, grabbed her duffel bag and vanished into the small bathroom that was attached to the room.

It was midnight when they finally arrived back in Trenton; but instead of lugging themselves upstairs to their beds, T ordered a meeting. On the long drive from Cedar Creek to Trenton, she had come to a decision; it was time to set the beast in her free.

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_**A/N: IF this is misuse of an A/N, so sue me; but I need you to know what a great beta I have. Sue - you're da best. In spite of missing Lego pieces and sick hubby you are at my side since chapter 18. You are continiously facing my misspellings and wrong tenses and after those are conquered you put the words into the right order and make the story sound great. Now you even gave Dr. Garvey the compassion I couldn't word. THANK YOU! ... And yes, for you I faced one of those dreaded if-clauses :-))**_


	25. Chapter 25 In The Eye Of The Tiger

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 25 – In The Eye Of The Tiger**

Ranger and Tank entered the conference room at 0900 hours feeling annoyed since Pain and his team were missing and holding up the scheduled meeting. In the last forty-eight hours, he, Tank and Lester had done in-depth searches of every employee in Trenton and found nothing out of the ordinary. The news that there most probably was a mole inside Rangeman had made his blood boil. Loyalty was one the highest valued virtues for him; the thought that one of his own men was betraying his trust – there was no description for the extent of pain the leech was in for once they found him.

Ranger looked at the empty chairs of the Inferna Angelus'. He was informed that Terror and the rest of the team had arrived shortly after midnight; he wondered why not one of them was here. He had learned to accept T's tardiness during her time at Rangeman. She and her alarm clock battled a long standing feud each morning; but the rest of the team had always been punctual. Just when he was about to send someone after them, Lester entered the room.

"The guys will be down in a minute," he nodded toward the empty seats to Ranger's right.

When he saw that Ranger obviously wanted him to continue he added, "I met them when I entered the lobby after my morning run. They worked the whole night in one of the conference rooms on the first floor and just left 30 minutes ago to shower."

Ranger raised his eyebrow and looked at Tank who just shrugged. Shortly after that; Rage, Vengeance, Agony, and Revenge filed into the room; each one of them munching on some breakfast. Furor brought up the rear carrying a tray holding three bagels with cream cheese, a bowl of cut fruits and three giant mugs of coffee misto. Carefully he arranged everything at Pain and Terror's seats before taking his own bagel and coffee and sitting down. A couple minutes later Pain came through the door clad in a customized suit and dress-shirt looking very 'corporate'. "Terror needs a few more minutes." He sat down in his chair, closed his eyes and started to sip his coffee.

"I heard you had a long night," Ranger commented.

Pain just grunted in response. He sat his coffee mug down and started to rub his temples.

"You ok?" Furor asked from the right.

Pain shook his head no right before he bolted out of the room. When V immediately stood up and followed him, Ranger got a bad feeling. Pain hadn't been himself this past week; he'd often been pale and frequently rubbed his temples. Yesterday he flew off the handle when they didn't find anything regarding the mole. Such an emotional reaction was not typical for the silent, thoughtful man.

Fifteen minutes later the door opened and the Rangemen collectively gasped. Terror stood in the door and the sight rocked them. Gone was the gal in low-riding cargoes, colorful Flip-flops and tight shirts. In her place stood an impressive business woman in a customized suit that screamed money. It consisted of a short skirt and a tight-fitting blazer that accentuated her sensuous curves and gave a peek of some dark red lace; her feet adorned the most delicate black four inch heels. Her still dampish hair was carefully pinned up in a French braid. She had applied a light coat of make-up and her finger nails were stunningly manicured, sporting a dark red nail polish that matched the lace under her blazer. She stopped, took a look around the room for effect and then dramatically made her way over to Ranger emanating an aura that demanded respect. Taking the pen and notebook that were lying in front of him she wrote:

'1: I'm sorry for the delay.

2: The IA have a change in the chain of command. I need to step out with my team for a few minutes to inform them.'

Ranger looked at her and nodded.

_Guys, meet me outside, now._ Immediately the remaining IAs rose and followed her out. Upon their re-entry five minutes later Ranger noticed their tense faces and the worry etched into them. Once more Terror grabbed his notebook and scribbled:

'I made some decisions on our way back from Cedar Creek. I know we should have discussed this prior to our meeting; but circumstances beyond our control have taken priority. I need to have control of this situation since it's my life that hangs in the balance. You'll just have to go with the flow and can behead me later.'

Once more Ranger nodded although quickly becoming annoyed with all this secrecy from the IA. His men were curiously eying them, wondering what was being discussed between Terror and Ranger that was causing their boss to clench his jaw so tightly. Terror took her seat and stared at the breakfast in front of her for a moment before she looked over at Revenge who stood up and, followed by curious eyes, moved to the opposite wall behind the Rangemen to translate for her.

"Gentlemen; effective immediately I am in command over the Inferna Angelus with Furor as my second in command. Pain is on his way to Washington where he will be treated for a brain tumor that seems to have entered the last stage. V will stay with him for the time being. We are all brokenhearted about this knowing Pain will most probably not return. He's sorry that he didn't have the chance to say good-bye in person."

Ranger and his men all looked at her in shocked silence.

"Our most recent recon trip to Washington brought some disturbing findings that I want to share with everyone. Before we start with that there are some things you need to know about me. The secret behind my talent is the fact that I can read minds. I won't answer any questions regarding the how, just be assured that it works. I know what each one of you is thinking right now, I know what questions you want to ask, what you conceal, I even know what you dream at night. Every single thought that passes your mind is mine. So never, never ever, try to fuck with me 'cause I will know." T made a pause for drama. "The other handy thing is that I can push my own thoughts into your mind. It's how I communicate with my team. Again, no questions will be answered, just be assured it works. Those thoughts can also be memories; that means I can remember my torture and push the experienced pain right into your mind. You got that so far?"

The Rangemen were in a stupor. Did they just hear that right? And what was with that aggressive demeanor of their otherwise sweet boss.

"My name is Terror because of those abilities; because when I'm finished with my targets, terror is the only feeling left in them. Never forget that. So far I've thought of you as my friends but there is a mole in this building who is a threat to me and one of mine. If I find him, he will wish to die. I truly hope that it is none of you."

A gasp went around the room.

"What do you mean there is a mole?" Ram could merely control his rage.

"I'll come to that in a bit, Ram." T had just detected something that she had hoped would happen. Across from her Ice had stood up and made his way to the door; apparently for a potty break. "Ice, where are you going?"

"Just a quick break, boss. Too much coffee."

"Liar!" And with a yell Ice fell to the floor. Scream after scream came from him while he was writhing on the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Sad, his partner, bolted out of his chair.

_Sit down Sad,_ _NOW_! he suddenly heard a voice in his head. Doubling over with shock, he stared at Terror. _There's a reason I'm doing this. Sit down!_

Sad sat down but watched her with open contempt.

Terror made her way to where Ice was lying on the floor. The screams had ebbed and he was no longer twisting. Motioning for Rage to help her, he grabbed the neck of Ice's shirt and hauled him into a standing position; pinning him against the wall behind him.

_Rev, translate my thoughts. _T seated herself on the top of the conference table, about five yards away from Ice and Rage. _Are you DuPuits' mole?_ Rev's voice was ice cold as he spoke for her.

The Rangemen were shell-shocked; Sad had lost all color from his face. Ice leaned against the wall, exhausted, and just stared at her. Suddenly a pain ripped through his upper body as if someone had put a knife in his sternum and carved straight down to his pubic bone. He cried in pain, blinding flashes of white stealing his vision. Some of the Rangemen started to look queasy. Suddenly, Ice felt as though the knife would be twisted to extend the damage. Rage didn't try to hold him upright. Instead he watched Ice buckle onto the floor, screaming in pain. After several minutes of torture his body stilled and Rage heaved him up again.

_Are you DuPuits' mole? _They heard Rev ask again.

No answer.

Ice doubled over and again fell to the floor, yelling at the feeling of red-hot iron burning deep into the skin of his lower abdomen. Terror kept the feeling up, pushing for more than a minute before she stopped. Ice was sobbing as Rage pinned him to the wall once again.

_Are you DuPuits' mole?_

"Yes," he nodded. "Please stop," he whimpered.

_Ranger, please put him into one of your holding cells. I want to continue later._

Ranger jumped at the voice in his head and looked at T in wonder. "Ram, Cal, get that scum out of my sight." The men looked at him and with a minimal nod he confirmed that they should bring him down to the holding cells. When they lugged Ice out of the conference room, his head connected with the door jamb and nobody looked sorry about it.

Terror had gone back to Ranger and took his pen and notebook again.

'Sad, I'm very sorry that your partner, whom you trusted with your life, turned out to be a traitor. I know how that feels. I hope you can forgive me for being the cause of that hurt.' She ripped the page out of the notebook and went over to Sad. He was pale and looked at her apprehensively. When she gave him the paper and immediately turned, he grabbed her hand and stopped her. After reading the three sentences, he turned to her and pulled her into a hug.

_I'm sorry that I didn't realize what was going on,_ he thought.

T pulled back surprised. _That's OK, Sad. I didn't realize it either._

_Hey, that mind reading thing comes in handy, huh?_

_Sometimes, _she smiled at him. T couldn't believe that at least Sad adapted so easily to the new situation.

Returning to her place she asked "Anyone else?", cocked her head and looked every single Rangemen straight in the eyes while pushing a feeling of deadness and impendence in their minds. No one else showed any signs of stress or needed a 'potty break' to call his contractor.

"Good," T sat down into her seat. "I'm glad that Ice seemed to be the only one. Nevertheless, we'll need to interview the rest of the employees, too, Ranger." She took a bite from her bagel and sipped at her coffee while the Rangemen looked at her like she had grown two heads. The questions were coming quickly and in abundance from their minds; but no one dared to voice them.

"I know that you have a lot of questions, literally," T signed after a few minutes, "but this is neither the place nor the time to ask them." Her whole demeanor had changed back to her normally laid-back ways. "There is just one thing I ask, no, I demand from you. Nobody outside this room will learn about this," she tapped her head. "There are only seven people on Earth who know about my mind's capabilities. Four are sitting here in this room, two are on their way to DC and the last is someone I deeply trust. Telling you about it, is the biggest sign of trust I can give to you. Please prove yourself worth it."

Silence followed T's request.

"You can really read minds?" Tank asked after a couple minutes.

"Yes – to both, the asked and unasked question."

"Shit!"

"You got that right, Tank … again to both." T smiled at him.

Tank started to squirm in his seat. This whole situation was highly unsettling.

"You are one hell of a weapon," Ranger was in awe about the possibilities someone like T would offer to his business.

"First and foremost I am a human being, Ranger. I'd be thankful if you could stop thinking of me as an asset that you need to obtain in order to use me for your business' advantage." Ranger's eyes widened and he had the decency to blush.

"I don't know how I feel about this, Beautiful."

"I know Lester and believe me when I say if I could turn it off, I'd do it in a heartbeat. As handy as it comes sometimes, it's a hell to live with."

"Why?" Lester asked, still dazed.

"Currently my mind's operating range covers a radius of three miles. I can hear each and every fucking mind within this area. You have no idea how exhausting that is."

"Three miles? Does that mean you know what each person in this building is doing right now?" That idea alone was overwhelming for Binkie.

"Yes."

"Tell us."

"No. That's a rule I've put on myself. Hearing people's thoughts is something very private. I never talk about it as long as what I hear doesn't mean a threat to someone. Listen, I know you have tons of questions; but we have to move on. There are some important things to discuss." T finished the remains of her bagel, took a last sip of coffee and stood back up again. _Agony, would you please fire up the laptop? _

"OK, what we found out is…" Terror detailed their findings in DC. "I apologize to you, Zip, Zero, Knock and Scotch for not involving you earlier; but after I knew there was a mole, I had to first find a way to eliminate you as possible sources."

"No sweat, I'm fine with it," said Zero, "but what is with Bobby and Rodríguez? Why aren't they here?"

"I'll come to that later. What I want to discuss first is how we proceed from here. We now know what the treason is about but we still don't know the full extent of who is behind it. Plus we know that 'they' plan to betray us so we all get killed on our way back. Does anyone want to back out? No hard feelings."

T's offer was met with silence.

"I hoped you would stay with me," she smiled at them thankfully. "Ok, so here is what we will do. I want to keep up our compound training so we will slim your gym time. The reason is that starting tomorrow we will meet here each day for two hours before the lunch break. You will learn to work with your minds. Given what we will be facing in Colombia, it is necessary that I can easily communicate with you without needing anyone for translations. Speed and accuracy are our only chance for a safe comeback. After lunch we meet at the compound where you will learn to implement the prior learned exercises into action. At least every other day, more often if possible, we'll do our city training - again to engage and hone our new source of communication style into our training. These next few weeks will be hard and stressful; but I need to get you ready as quickly as possible. In about three weeks there will be a meeting between DuPuits and that other man on the phone. It's critical to the mission that we know who he is before we leave. That's the only way I can anticipate what we will face in other words what his next steps may be. He's the one after my life, he's the one who has plotted against us. I want him eliminated as a threat. The moment we have that info, we launch ourselves into last minute preparations. If there is still static within our communication system, we will increase our efforts and address those issues. Otherwise, we will be ready to deploy at a moments notice. Nobody can know that we've left for Colombia.

Ranger, Tank, we need to develop a plan on how to deflect anyone too curious from our absence. The only chance we have is that we go in without being detected so executioners aren't sent in after us. Once in Colombia we do our jobs; but we will destroy the formula. If they'll need a culprit for that afterward, I will take the blame. Agony, Cal, Ace, Bull – you are our EODs. Start planning what explosives you want to take with you; remember we need an implosion that immediately destroys the drug. I expect there to be hostages, probably disabled by the drug, so we have to prepare for that. We don't know how many there will be and I don't care. I want each and every one out there rescued; nobody, I mean nobody, is left behind. Ranger, I want to bring in one or two more medics. They are men I unconditionally trust; both IAs and former Pararescue Jumpers. Plus we will have to organize transportation in and out without the government's knowledge. I hope you can help with that, too. Regarding the treason, we will collect as much evidence as we can before we leave. If that isn't enough, we have to continue after we are back. One thing has to be clear to everyone; once we destroy the formula we are automatically considered targets. We are talking a monetary worth of … what … five/six hundred million in capital destroyed. Whoever they are, they will be beyond pissed at us. The only chance for us to survive this mess is to annihilate this grouping." T took a deep breath. "Any questions?"

"Will you marry me, Beautiful? You are so fucking hot when you get all bossy with us," Lester waggled his eyebrows at her.

T couldn't help but laugh. "I'll think about it after we are back, Les. Now, seriously, do you have any questions so far?"

"How exactly did you find out about DuPuits? I'm just fascinated. Plus I wonder how you plan to learn about the meeting in three weeks." Ram asked.

"When we were doing our late night surveillance, Agony, Rev and I were parked near the Washington Monument. I did a scan of the Pentagon two miles away when my radar sounded an all bells alert. After that, it was just a question of patience. I scanned floor after floor until I found the source of the alarm. DuPuits was on the phone. I just had to listen in," T shrugged.

"You don't like to talk about it, do you?" Ram dug deeper.

"No Ram, I don't. If I had the choice to be normal, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But fate had other plans for me so I make the best out of a fucked up situation. Regarding the meeting in three weeks, I guess I'll end up doing some good old-fashioned surveillance. Assuming that the three weeks were exact, plus/minus two days, I will go to DC and find me a nice, soft spot to sit down and listen in to DuPuits' phone calls and meetings until Mr. X reports back stateside and they agree on a rendezvous."

"What about your assassin? You can't be in the open or on the compound as long as he's on the prowl out there," Ranger looked at her with his blank face.

"Let me ask you something, Ranger. Are these window panes bullet proofed?"

Ranger nodded.

"Including the 7.62 mm ammunition from an M40 sniper rifle?"

Ranger narrowed his eyes and nodded.

"Well, then," T nodded, went over to the floor to ceiling window panes and opened the blinds. Standing in front of the windows she gazed down the street and within seconds the faint sound of a shot could be heard followed seconds later by an ear-deafening noise as the round impacted the window pane right at the height of Terror's head. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, then another. She had him. Three-hundred-fifty yards straight ahead on the top of another building laid her assassin, cursing about the bullet proofed glass. Now that she knew his mind's 'flavor' he couldn't get away from her. Turning back to the Rangemen she looked at their shocked faces.

"Please meet Mr. Assassin," she signed dryly. "By this shot he gave himself away. Every mind has its own flavor. Now that I know his flavor he can't get away from me and by the end of this day he will be dead." T said with a calmness that baffled the Rangemen. "I know you aren't used to this side of me; but this is the way I am. I like to laugh, to banter and to have fun. I like to feel at peace with everybody; but if I or someone I consider as mine gets threatened, I eliminate the threat. That's what the street taught me. I'd do the same for anyone of you anytime of the day 'cause I consider you as mine, too."

The Rangemen stared at her, then at the bullet lodged into the window pane.

"Fuck. You knew he would shoot and you just stood there making yourself a target? Are you fucking insane?" Vince glared at her.

She knew his feelings for her were honorable and that he was just worried about his friend so she answered calmly, "That's right. Because Ranger said the glass would hold the ammunition and I trust him to tell me the truth. Otherwise, I would never have pulled that stunt."

"You will not go alone after him. A team will accompany you," Ranger said coolly more as a demand than a request.

"Correct," T replied shrewdly. "MY team will accompany me." T could feel Ranger bristle inside at her response.

"T, where are Bobby and Rodríguez? I have a feeling they are involved in this. You said at the beginning there was a mole threatening you and one of yours. It's no secret how close you and Rodríguez are; we all saw it. Now he and Bobby have vanished. I want to know what's going on with them." Willow spoke up more out of concern than disrespect. Zero nodded his affirmation.

T eyed Ranger. Now it would get ugly. "Bobby actually has vanished. I can't tell you where he is because honestly, I don't know. I can tell you that he left of his own free will." Immediately a murmur rose in the room. The guys all liked Bobby.

"And what about Rodríguez? How is he mixed up with this?"

T closed her eyes and dragged in a deep breath. She knew she was doing the right thing, but that didn't lessen the pain. Hopefully Rubén would forgive her. "Rodríguez is at a safe place."

Ranger's head shot up and he tried to gauge what T was about to reveal as a murmur went around the table and the men leaned forward awaiting further information. "Why's that?" one of them asked.

"What do you know about the DEVGRU operator, La Muerte?" Terror looked at the Rangemen surrounding her.

The moment the word 'Muerte' left Revenge's lips, Ranger was out of his chair and pinning Terror with an ice cold stare.

"Any information concerning La Muerte is classified and none of the men in attendance besides me, Tank, Lester and Ram has the necessary clearance – including you." He stated in a deadly voice that would make any man piss his pants but Terror just looked at him calmly holding his cold stare and signed.

"I guess it's a good thing then that I don't give a flying fuck about that." A gasp went through the room when Revenge translated for her. Holding his eyes she could see Ranger's jaw working as his stare became even more menacing. They already had a few fights but this one would be bad, probably legendary.

"If you say one more word about this matter, I will detain you and call the suits to pick you up. You obviously don't know what you are doing. This isn't some coffee klatch with your girlfriends. You are about to trumpet information of the highest security level. Imprisonment will be the least of your concern." Ranger threatened her.

Without losing eye contact, Terror raised and straightened to her full height. Even with her 4 inch heels she still missed Ranger's height by three inch; but that didn't diminish the dominance radiating from her as she leveled an ice-cold stare at him. The room was deathly silent as the men held their breath. A staring contest with Ranger always ended badly for his opponent. Ram was the first who became aware of the pulsing menace. Glancing to his right and left he saw that the other men started to feel it, too. They were looking around uneasily. It felt like shock waves were invisibly pulsing through the room, having their origin in the small woman across from them. She and Ranger were still staring at each other as the temperature in the room seemed to drop perceptibly several degrees. Ram suddenly felt chilly. Then without being able to explain why, he was overcome by such fear and despair that it made him want to crawl into bed and hide like a kid. What the fuck was happening here? Was it just him or did everybody feel darkness descending over their minds?

And then it happened, the one thing that had never happened before and that would forever be marked in the calendar. Ranger shivered and for a split second averted his gaze giving Terror all the dominance she needed.

"I. Know. Exactly. What. I. Am. Doing." she signed, accentuating each word. "When we accepted this mission we already knew that something was off, that we most probably signed our death certificates. We did it nonetheless. We knew you would say yes and we wanted to ensure that you and your men had the best possible chance for return. Look at my men, Ranger," she commanded. "Look at Revenge over there, at Furor, Rage and Agony to my right. Each one of them has committed himself to saving your asses. I personally will lead them into our sure death, if necessary, to see to it that you and your men come home to your friends and families. So I'd say the least you could do is to give me the necessary room to do my job as best as I can."

The Rangemen were speechless. No one had ever dared to talk to Ranger that way. Ranger just stared at Terror, jaw working, his eyes relentless.

With a much calmer demeanor T continued, "The only reason he's still alive is his memory loss and the fact that his death would create uncomfortable questions – their words not mine. This is the proof for what you suspected all along. After all these years, they are still after him. They must be stopped. They fucked with him, now they are fucking with us. All that secrecy was meant to protect him; but in the face of this new evidence, the best protection for him is to have as many people as possible looking out for him, knowing about him." T locked eyes with him. "Ranger, he deserves to be acknowledged. Your men deserve to know the full extent of what they are facing; whom they are facing. To beat the odds is one thing; but to be set up by a group that is killing at will, for who knows how many years, is something else entirely."

Ranger held Terror's piercing glance a minute longer before he lowered his head, closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Sitting down he motioned for T to continue. The Rangemen were shocked. Somehow they knew that from today on their lives would never be quite the same again. Today they had learned that mind-reading does exist. That a person they knew, respected and very much liked could not just read minds; but also inflict torturous pain with her abilities. That this person who they all thought was fun to work and hang out with had a dark side none of them had expected. Lastly, that this person was not just an amazing fighter, an expert in her chosen venues; but a leader who put everyone else's well-being ahead of her own no matter the price.

Terror sat down, ate a bit of the cut fruits and sipped at her now cold coffee to give the men the chance to process what had just happened. After a couple more minutes she stood again, looked first at Ranger and his men then at Revenge and continued.

"Ok, let's go back to the starting point. What do you know about the DEVGRU operator La Muerte?"

Sad looked first at his team mates then at Terror. "La Muerte – The Death. He is a legend. Was a SEAL before he joined DEVGRU; worked mostly alone. His moves and tactics are brilliant; they are trained in all military branches. He died on a mission gone bad about six years ago." He listed.

"Wrong." T signed and all the Rangemen besides Ranger, Tank, Lester, Woody and Ram looked at her in confusion. "La Muerte is alive and you've all gotten to know him in person. Rodríguez is La Muerte."

"What?" Several of the men exclaimed, looking at T then turning around to Revenge as if he could possibly have made an error in his translation.

"When talking about Rodríguez, we have to recognize he's comprised of two personas. Rodríguez himself and La Muerte, who was spawn with the sole purpose of serving as a black ops agent. Five years and seven months ago La Muerte's last mission went FUBAR, ending with him being captured and tortured for more than eight months. In retrospect, there are countless reasons to believe that he was purposely set up by the group we are pursuing. Their objective was his elimination during the mission leaving no evidence of the operative they created; but he magically survived. Due to the extent of his injuries and trauma, there was no hope that Rodríguez could ever return into service. Thanks to Ranger's commitment, it was determined that La Muerte would stay dead so that Rodríguez could have a chance for a more or less peaceful life once he recovered." The Rangemen couldn't believe what they were hearing. The man most of them despised because of his behavior, was in truth someone they all admired, even idolized.

"Does that mean we're talking split personalities?" Zero asked.

"No, the psychologists back then refrained from that after assessing him thoroughly." Lester spoke up for the first time. "The essential feature of Dissociative Identity Disorder is the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently take control of behavior with an associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness. The latter has never been the case which led the psychologists to the aforesaid opinion. Regarding the routine switch between personalities, until recently Muerte hadn't appeared once since being held captive. That fight between Rodríguez and Ranger about two months ago was the first time we saw Muerte in years. However, since then he has re-emerged regularly and while Rodríguez was in full control of Muerte before his captivity, Muerte has now become a life of his own and can't be controlled by anyone but Terror. So under this new light it could be that the psychologists revise their former evaluation. Fact is: the training Rodríguez got by the government went far beyond any normal special forces, even Delta Force or DEVGRU training. They pushed him to the point where everything evil in him separated itself from the good and the persona of La Muerta came into being. Rodríguez's case is an exception and – so far - had nothing to do with DID."

"I first met Rodríguez/Muerte months before said last mission." Terror continued. "He was training with us to become a part of our IA team. He was and is still one hell of a fighter, as some of you have witnessed, worth the name he carried. Above all that though, Rodríguez is a joy to have around. He was and remains to this day a laid-back, fun-loving, loyal to the bone friend. Grief, who was the team's former leader, Pain, Furor and the rest of the team back then were happy to have him in their midst. Then I saw him several times while he was recuperating and what you see today, what he managed to accomplish recovery-wise, is more than any of the doctors ever thought possible. But – in no way is he nor will he ever be able to withstand the mental stress of being a part of a governmental mission. This comes as no surprise to the small group of those who have the clearance to access his record. Also, it's no secret that he has no memories whatsoever about his Muerte persona or his service time in general. I have reason to believe that someone in our secret grouping, either by chance or deliberately, made contact with him and by that triggered a flashback that made Muerte resurface. The fact, that all this takes place in a time scheme surrounding the decision to take part in this mission, has us," she motioned to her team, "convinced, that there is a link between both events."

The Rangemen were speechless.

Suddenly Terror froze. Ever so slowly she turned to Ranger. "That's it, Ranger!" She looked at the man to her left. "Somehow this grouping is built up of the most influential members from each of the Justice Bureaus. They are the eyes and ears at the FBI, CIA, DEA, NSA, SAD and who knows where else. When FBI and DEA decided to contract Rangeman, those fuckers knew they were in trouble. Rubén is the best tactician there is in the Armed Forces. Sad just said so; they are training his moves at all military branches. How long has Ice been at Rangeman?"

"He came shortly after Rodríguez came back here," Ranger said with a deadly voice. He didn't like where T were going with this and instinctively he knew she was right.

"Then they knew that he was doing take-down plans for Rangeman; that he was still in the game, even if it was in a much smaller capacity. They couldn't risk him becoming part of the mission team. With him as our tactician, their chances to conduct their scheme would collapse. As said, they can't assassinate Rodríguez without attracting attention so they have to find another way to immobilize him." T started to pace. "They know something, a trigger of sort that will reach Rodríguez's subconsciousness, throw him for a loop, or so they hope. They have to risk it. They do whatever it is; but it is too much for Rodríguez to cope with so they unknowingly activate Muerte. Though probably Ice told them at least about the fight and they got the picture. Knowing about Rodríguez's fragility, they hope to knock him off enough so he isn't capable of helping plan this mission. Or," T had stopped mid-step and mused, "if he's theoretically capable, to damage his credibility to a point where you wouldn't trust his input anymore." By now T was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with excitement about her epiphany. "As said, his strategical abilities are legendary. With him out of the picture it would be so much easier to take us down." T rambled on, pacing again, her hands a blur of movement. "Yes, that's it. I'm sure. These fuckers deliberately put him into this position because they couldn't kill him. Oh, they will pay for this. I will make them pay for this.

Did you get all that? Six years ago some fuckers in the government decided that Rodríguez had to die; but he survived. Since he was traumatized beyond recognition and didn't remember anything at all, they decided to let him stay alive for the time being. Now, by pure chance, we get contracted for a mission that would complicate their plans and will cost them hundreds of millions of dollars. They are between a rock and a hard place. They don't want to risk killing Muerte; but need to 'eliminate' him as potential tactician. Plus, they have to make sure that we don't succeed so their little scheme isn't discovered. After Muerte is disabled, I am their biggest threat. They don't know about my abilities but they know I'm fucking good at my job. So they send a killer after me. With me out of the picture, too, they deem it easy to get the formula and kill you; but not with me, I'll throw a monkey wrench in their plans."

After popping some fruits in her mouth and collecting her thoughts, T continued calmer, "If the reason they aren't killing him is the attention his death would bring with it, then the best way to protect him is to let as many people as possible know he is alive and kicking. On the other hand though, that would be a sure way to attract his unaccounted enemies and Rubén is no longer capable of protecting himself in a manner that would be necessary to face them. He's in a very fragile frame of mind at the moment and since I consider him part of my responsibility, I will remove him from as many situations as possible that could trigger a flashback to the hell he survived. I'm telling you all this, because I hope that it will change your demeanor towards him. As said to Ranger before, he deserves to be acknowledged. And who knows, perhaps you could even find something likeable in him. But likeable or not, I hope that in future you will respect him for what he had achieved before that last mission altered his whole life and that you will look out for him."

"Just to be sure I understand this right: So it was Muerte who attacked first Ranger and then Bobby, not Rodríguez?" Zero asked.

"That is correct." Every head turned to Ranger in surprise. They had all but forgotten about him. "The day he attacked me was the first time that we – Tank, Lester, Bobby, Woody, Cal, Ram and I – have seen Muerte since before his last mission. It was a deep shock for all of us; but most of all for Rodríguez himself since he has no memories of that part of his past." Ranger paused, wondering how personal he wanted this to get. After a minute he continued. "After he was found and brought to Ramstein AFB it took his mind more than seven months to find its way out of the abyss it was sent into by the trauma he endured. Seven months in which he showed no reaction to whomever, except for Bobby. Even those responses however, were limited to eye movement." And in a rare show of emotion Ranger added. "Rodríguez is one of my best friends even if he is no longer able to reciprocate this type of friendship. You didn't see him back then. I am proud beyond words of what he has achieved, of how he has picked himself up and is braving his demons day after day. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I ask you to show him a bit more respect than you have in the past. I know he's making interaction with him difficult; but as Sad so adequately summarized he's a legend, the role model for many soldiers out there and his brilliant procedures are the cornerstones of today's special force's training. We can all be proud to have him with us." He finished quietly.

"HOOAH" Tank, Lester, Woody, Cal and Ram barked in unison.


	26. Chapter 26 Going Hunting

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 26 – Going Hunting**

After the meeting, the IAs retreated to their apartments to catch some much needed sleep. Tonight they would go after T's assassin.

When T woke up, it was dark in the bedroom and Agony and Rev were gone. She hadn't slept well; nightmares had come and gone. Squinting toward the bedside table, the alarm clock showed ten p.m. on the dot. The apartment was empty as were Furor's and Rage's. Tired, she rolled over onto her side, pulled her knees up and snuggled deeper under the covers. Her head hurt and she felt slightly nauseated.

"Ranger, your motives are honorable but T won't allow it," she heard Furor's calm voice two floors down. Her Team plus Ranger, Tank and Lester were assembled in one of the briefing rooms on five.

"To use her words, 'I don't give a flying fuck' whether she allows it or not; we will accompany you. Period."

T smiled at his reference to her. She had to admit; sometimes pulling the tiger's tail was just pure entertainment. He was just so fucking controlling that every single cell in her body bristled in defiance. T wondered whether asserting his dominance ever became exhausting.

"Ranger, man, don't do that. That will just end in a fight." Furor was desperate.

"Listen Ranger," Rage tried to mediate. "The reason she doesn't want anyone of you with us is that so far you aren't used to our way of working; namely our way of communicating. Instead of fully concentrating on getting her man, part of her mind would keep an eye on you making sure you are ok. We can't risk that."

"No, you listen Rage." Ranger's voice was quiet and menacing. "I'm still not sure it was a good idea to spill the beans about Rodríguez; but she made the decision and now we'll take the fallout how it comes. Rodríguez is my friend and she is the glue that kept him together. As long as he isn't able to take care of her himself, I will take care of her. Whether she likes it or not, she has become my responsibility. It's a question of honor. The rest of the guys want to go with her out of friendship and a deep felt respect. We don't let our own go into dangerous situations without sufficient backup and you four aren't sufficient."

Rev rolled his eyes. "She has become your responsibility, huh? That will go over really well with her, I tell ya. She's gonna pull that fucking stick outta ya ass and beat ya to a bloody pulp with it. That's what she will do."

T stretched under the warm cover and sighed. _It's OK, guys. He's not going to back down on this. I guess they have strong feelings about coming with us, we may as well let them. Briefing on four in an hour, _she pushed downstairs to her team.

When T stepped out of the stairwell an hour later, her team plus Ranger, Tank, Lester, Ram, Vince, Scar and Sad were waiting for her.

_Jeez, guys, why didn't you invite the whole mission team?_ she shook her head. The Rangemen twitched at her voice in their heads, only Sad managed to flash her an award winning grin.

"I heard you listened in earlier so you know why we are here," Ranger answered dryly.

_All I know is that you are an overbearing pain in the ass, Ranger. Does the domineering macho bullshit act ever get old for you? _T countered with a dangerous flashing in her eyes.

Ranger looked at her with his blank face. _At your service, BOSS._ Before he could help himself his lips quirked up in an almost smile; she was cute when she was angry.

"OK gentlemen, this is the game plan." They had relocated to the briefing room on four and Terror stood in front of a map of Trenton that Ranger had projected onto the wall. "When he shot, he was on the roof of this building here." T showed the exact point 350 yards over from their location. "I can scan him clearly up to this point." She pointed at Stark Street. "We will start from there and let you know when we are in our target zone."

"How come you can't locate him from here? Stark St. isn't that far away. Is it because of the mass of people in a city? Though that doesn't make sense if you could listen in to DuPuits two miles away within DC," Sad asked out of curiosity rather than provocation.

"No, it's because I'm bushed from the events of the past few days plus Ice's interrogation earlier. My mind's performance and my well-being directly correlate. I'm not firing on all cylinders at the moment and it will take a few days to get me back there."

"Even more reason to have us with you." Ranger's face was stern.

"Beautiful, what's Ice's interrogation have to do with it?"

"Remember what I said, Les. I can push not just thoughts but also memories." T looked at him pointedly.

Lester shook his head. He along with the other men weren't following the message T was trying to communicate.

"Memories – don't you understand?" Furor looked at the assembled Rangemen. "She remembers Each. And. Every. Detail. and pushes it into the target's mind," He accentuated his words point across to the men.

Slowly you could see comprehension dawn in the men's eyes.

"You mean you underwent the torture again in your mind and then pushed that into Ice's head?" Lester asked quietly with a look of infinite concern.

T nodded.

"To which extend?" He could barely voice the question. This whole mind-reading thing was freaking him out.

T smiled; but it was a sad smile and her eyes were troubled. "I need to feel exactly how and what I want to push."

They had all seen Ice screaming and twisting on the floor. The idea of the pain T must have been in while questioning Ice formed a lump in Lester's throat. "But you didn't show anything," he could barely whisper his response, afraid his voice would crack.

Terror shrugged and averted her eyes. She couldn't stand to look at the concern on Lester's face. It made her uncomfortable yet at the same time loved and she wasn't sure how to deal with that right now. "I'd like to get ready so we can leave," she signed after a moment and stood.

Fifteen minutes later the Rangemen were fully decked out with Kevlar vests, their standard weapons, assault rifles, throat mics and night goggles. Every mission team member had gathered on the fourth floor to show their support. T had braided her hair in one big pigtail and was in all black; black cargoes, black long-sleeved shirt, black bandana. She had her all black Kevlar vest strapped on tight. Her hip belt held her customized Glocks and extra magazines. On her left thigh was another holster that held two daggers and three throwing stars and one more dagger was in each of her boots. She looked all S.W.A.T. and extra hot. The sight had the Rangemen surging with hormones; women and weapons were a heady mix for them. Agony and Rev brought a huge trunk and a carrying case from the armory and placed them on a nearby desk. The trunk had seven compartments. Each one was labeled with one of the IAs' names and held an assault rifle plus spare magazines and ammunition along with several other gadgets. Agony gave T her rifle which she checked and re-checked meticulously.

Ram was beside himself with joy and arousal. "Is the riffle also customized?" he asked T while he marveled at the artwork in her hands.

"Yes, every one of my weapons is customized because of my small hands and shoulders," she signed before securing the rifle's extra magazines on the left front of her Kevlar vest.

"This is so … wow!" T smiled at Ram. "Tell ya what, when we get back you can check each and every single one out if you want." The vehement nodding from several of the guys made her laugh silently. Boys and their toys. When she opened the carrying case, the surrounding men gasped. Inside was what looked like a disjointed small sniper rifle. T assembled the weapon with speed and precision in front of them. The men stood with lowered jaws and wide eyes when they realized that once assembled, instead of a muzzle she mounted a high-tech crossbow plus night scope and laser sight on the multiple rails.

"What the fuck…" T was having a field day with Ram's total wonder. Chuckling she handed it over to him and he immediately started to examine and sight the weapon.

"What ammunition do you use? Arrows? Darts? Why?" the questions came tumbling out of him. Jeez, he was such a weapons man.

"Carbon arrows or customized tranquilizer darts; depends." She signed while clipping the darts in special easy-access fasteners on the right front of her vest. "The arrows get fixed under the crossbow." She took the weapon back and showed him where the fixing for the darts was mounted. A few seconds later, three carbon darts were safely secured below the bow part of the riffle. "And why? Because it's noiseless and once you have collected the arrow or dart there's no evidence." T explained and repeated the procedure of checking and re-checking. She was finally finished and turned around to see the Rangemen openly drooling at her. T rolled her eyes and shot the men a cheeky smile.

Half an hour later they stopped in an abandoned industrial area. The street lamps were long broken spending no light on the eerie scene. The adjacent buildings looked desolate; their windows were broken and the doors were boarded up.

"OK, he's half a mile from here on the left side. It must be a building with at least three stories. He's cleaning his weapons and is very alert. We can either wait here some more for him to calm down and hopefully retreat to bed or we can move forward." T leveled with the Rangemen.

"What would you do without us here?" Ranger looked at her questioningly.

"Move forward," came the simple reply from her.

"Then that's what we do."

_Alright, then I'd say 'welcome to my world, gentlemen'. You wanted to be here, now you have to deal with it,_ T thought. Tank, Lester and Scar winced at her voice in their heads. T sighed internally. The next few weeks would be hell. The IA had years to grow together and to perfect their communication. Now she had about three weeks to get the Rangemen into a sufficient operating-mode.

Always sticking to the shadows, they slowly made their way down the street; the night goggles giving them excellent visibility.

_Down! Now!_ they suddenly heard T's voice. _Fuck, Tank, get your ass down. You're visible._

Within seconds they crouched and pressed themselves against a three foot wall surrounding a former factory site.

_What's going on?_ Rage asked.

_He's nervous; suddenly sprang to the window and nearly saw us. He has a night scope. Tank, goddamn, what did your momma feed you? We have to shrink you._ T smiled at his death glare. _What? Oh, don't you look at me like that. If I want to give you a kiss, I'll need a ladder and it's not like I can keep one handy in my cargo pockets._

That made Tank grin which looked a tad scary with the goggles on his nose.

"Can we move forward, yet?" Ranger asked impatiently. Banter and work didn't mesh well with him.

_No, we can't. We wait till he sits again and is immersed in his work. And Stop. Talking. THINK what you want to say or say nothing at all … I heard that, Ranger … That, too!_ T rolled her eyes; he was such a control freak.

_Beautiful, do you hear me?_ Lester thought intensely.

"We can all hear you, dork," Tank grumbled.

"Fucker!"

_Stop bickering and STOP TALKING OUT LOUD! Yes, Les, I heard you as can everybody else so you shouldn't say anything too lewd._ T put a smile to her thought. She had to diffuse this building tension between the team before it manifested and got out of control.

_Is he still standing at the window? _Lester asked.

_No, he's back to cleaning his weapon._

_Then why are we still crouching here like monkeys? Tank's ass isn't the nicest on earth to have in your face._ T had to smile. Les was hardly ever given enough credit for his intelligence. People saw him as the fun-loving playboy with an award winning smile; but there was so much more to him.

_Because you aren't ready to move forward. Listen guys, I know this is hard for you. Even with the best preparation it will take your minds some time to wrap themselves around the concept of reading and pushing thoughts. That's nothing that happens overnight and nothing you can influence. Right now, I feel the stress level of each one of you and I'm trying to diffuse some of this stress before we advance any further. It makes no sense to overwhelm you and have your minds shut down 'cause that's what will happen if I push you too much._

_Thanks, I have to admit this is disturbing,_ came from Ram. He was strained but he dealt a bit better with it than Lester.

The only one half-way relaxed was Sad. _What's the advantage? I mean besides being one amazing, freaking hot, once-in-a-lifetime operative?_ he thought grinning.

_Depends on the point of view, _T answered.

_My view of course; is there another?_ Sad verified.

_I'm one hell of a poker player, _T grinned.

That made Agony and Rev snort in unison.

_She's one hell of whatever player. I mean, puhlease, she knows what you think at any given time. She knows every move you have in mind. Never play against her, always have her on your team; just a recommendation based on personal experience … OUCH! You are not allowed to hit me as my boss. That's harassment._

_Harassment my ass. Wait till we are home and I show you what harassment is,_ T scowled at him and stuck her tongue out. _OK, enough fun. Let's move again. _T pushed and they continued their way down the street.

When they were at the entrance to the building's parking lot, T divided the team. Ranger, Tank, Les and Ram were to secure the delivery bays. Vince, Scar and Sad were to take the side entrance and T, Furor, Rage, Agony and Rev would take the front entrance.

_He's on the third floor, the room at the left corner, sitting at a table, facing the second window from the left that looks out at this parking lot. The door is right behind his back. Around the corner there's another window. That means he'll be able to see you at the delivery bays. Keep yourselves close to the wall and be prepared for my 'down' command,_ she looked at Ranger who nodded. _Vince, be cautious at the side entrance. I'm sure there'll be an alarm device. He's way too nervous to go without having one on each possible entrance. That applies for you, too, Ranger._ Both men nodded. _Remember to think whatever you want to say. I've connected us and everyone will hear you. All clear? Good, he's still at the table and very jumpy; listening for any sounds. On my count: three, two, one, move._

Crouching, they quickly made their way to their positions.

_There's a simple alarm system with a contact breaker. No problem,_ they heard Vince.

_Same here, _Rage answered.

_Heavy locks at the bays – nothing else, _came from Ranger.

_We go in. Check the rooms for explosive devices or other surprises as you go. See you upstairs in a few, _T thought and nodded to Agony to bypass the alarm.

Five minutes later her assassin was overpowered and secured. He was in his late thirties. An average build, average looking man with average eye color. Nothing drew attention to him; he was perfectly fitted for vanishing in the crowd without anybody noticing him.

_I will disengage your minds now. No need for you to be part of what comes next._ T pushed to her team. The beast in her was prowling in its cage; stalking along the bars. It was waiting; waiting for when she would finally let it loose. _Agony, be my voice._

"Who are you working for?"

The man showed no reaction until the first wave of pain hit him. For three minutes the building was filled with his screams before T stopped and let him lay motionless on the linoleum floor. Forcing her locked muscles to relax, she eyed him speculatively.

"Who are you working for?"

Again there was no reaction; not even an acknowledgment that he had heard her. T closed her eyes. She had wished he would just break; but of course he had other plans. Stupid, dumb fucker. Digging deep to find the strength to go on, she let her next memory free. Like water in a tank she felt it flooding her mind. Suddenly she was there again, in the room they called _sala de jogos_, the playroom. She was chained to a rack and _seu Mestre_, her master, let the hand that was holding the knife slowly caress her body – her breasts, her stomach, her sex. The man's body on the floor started to twitch in unison with his yells as he felt a knife carve two parallel lines into his stomach; close together. Frantically, he ripped his shirt up to see the damage; but there was nothing to be seen. His eyes widened in horror. His pupils were enlarged to their maximum and he looked at T with terror right before an ear-splitting scream left his throat. His arms tightly pressed against his stomach as he fell backwards to the floor. The knife that had just carved the two lines was now slowly cutting the top dermal layer off him; leaving a strip of raw flesh behind. Before he could stop it, he threw up. Gasping and choking he laid on his side and pulled his knees up in a useless attempt to protect himself. T felt the beast roar and rattle at its confines but she kept it locked away.

"Who are you working for?"

"I don't know any names," he chocked. "Everything was arranged via telephone. What the fuck are you doing to me?"

"Liar."

A short but cruel pain from a dagger pushed into his back and lung pierced his mind. Once fully inserted, it was turned around and pulled out again, producing a blinding pain and the feeling of suffocating as the lung collapsed.

T hadn't realized that she had started to prowl around her victim on the floor. She was unaware of anything happening around her; knowing she could trust Agony and Rev to keep her safe. Her mind was locked with the mind belonging to the man who tried to kill her. His end was long determined; for T it was either her or him. On his way to hell though, she wanted to get as many information as possible out of him.

The man laid on the linoleum and gasped for air.

"Who are you working for?"

"I told you, I have no name."

T stopped walking, locked her muscles in place and gave free reign to the cruelty in her mind. When the screams stopped, she started to move again. Her system fought against the assault. Her sight was foggy, getting black at the edges; her nausea was on a peak; her head felt like it was ripping open and her legs were jell-o; but she didn't let anyone see that.

"Please, stop," the man sobbed. He was breaking, finally. "His name is DuPuits. He doesn't know that I know him. He belongs to a secret grouping who kills on governmental mandate. They have contracted me several times in the past."

"Do you know the names of the others in that grouping?"

"No, I know about DuPuits and then there must be someone in the DEA and perhaps CIA 'cause the information I got in the past could only come from an internal source. DuPuits fears his boss. That man must be insane and the mastermind behind it all. Please, don't hurt me anymore."

"What are the contract's conditions?"

"Two million now, two after the job is finished. DuPuits told me you have a branding of angel wings with devil horns and a pitchfork on your right shoulder. It is to be cut out and sent via overnight express to a P.O. Box on Cayman Island together with a picture of the shoulder with your face visible."

"Address?"

"In the manila envelope in my suitcase." Ranger went over to the suitcase.

_STOP! _T pushed to everybody making Ranger halt mid-step. _It's a trap. There's an explosive._

"You little scumbag. Did you really think we would fall for that?"

She pushed the feeling of cigars being put out on her neck into his mind. The unknown assassin grabbed himself and screeched in pain.

"The address. NOW!"

After Ram had written down the address and T knew this time it was the truth, she leveled an ice-cold glare at the man on the floor. He was sweating profusely, the stress pheromones coursing through his body had his pupils still dilated to their max, his breathing was fast and shallow. Lazily she walked over and crouched down in front of him. With eyes that were void of any emotion she signed,

"I'll make you an offer now. If you accept, you'll live another day. If you don't accept or try to fuck with me, you'll die. It's your choice. Three millions for you and you forget about your assignment. You will go back to whatever hole you came from and I will never see you again. What is it?"

"The offer. Thank you." The man let his shoulder sag and looked down on the floor in relief.

_He's lying,_ she pushed to the others. Without any further incentive she went behind him, grabbed his neck in a choke-hold and with a well-directed yank snapped his neck. Taking quick, deep breaths in and out successionally, T worked against her body's desire to shut down. Slowly she felt the man's bodily system crash; the organs, the heart, the brain. These last moments of a life, when the body instinctively fought against death, were so overwhelmingly strong that there was always the danger that her own system followed suit and she'd die, too. Her body could no longer distinguish between reality and fabricated sensations during this process. Through the stupor in her mind she felt Rev take her into his arms, encasing her in a very tight hug. The feeling of bodily bounds helped her to stay in the present. Then the well-known smell of ammonia flooded her brain and she felt herself getting stronger; felt the stupor lifting from her.

_Are you OK now, Angel?_ Rev looked at her tensely; but when she nodded, she felt him relax. She turned around and was met with the blank faces of Ranger and his men. She couldn't really deal with them now. Her body and mind were too weak.

"What the fuck just happened?" Vince asked in a distressed tone.

Looking at him annoyed, T signed "I killed him because he lied. He would have taken the money and started a new attempt; ultimately cashing in DuPuit's money, too."

Vince moved until he stood right in front of her and gently cupped her face with both hands. "T, I don't give a flying fuck that he's dead. If you hadn't killed him, I would have done it. What the fuck just happened to **you**? Are **you** OK?"

T wanted to step out of his grip; but he held her steady and bore his eyes into hers; they were filled with pain and confusion.

_Let me go Vince, _she pleaded feeling the panic start to spread. She couldn't bear his hands on her; but Vince held tight waiting for an answer.

"Let her go, man. Now." Furor's hand landed hard on Vince shoulder and with a vice grip pulled him backwards away from T. "Ranger, control your men," he ordered with an icy authoritative voice. Furor took in the scene around him. T clung to Rev with Agony and Rage giving them cover; both in full protective mode. From experience he knew they would stay that way until T felt better; they would all stay that way until she was better. On the other side Ranger and his men stood disturbed and bewildered by what they had just witnessed. "I know you have questions," Furor finally said, "but not now, OK? There are other things more important."

After they'd disposed of the body, Lester suggested going to Shorty's for a drink to wind down.

"Sorry Les, I know it is well meant; but I want to go back to Rangeman and up to our apartment." T signed. She was snuggled into Agony's arms and looked ashen.

"Please Beautiful. You shouldn't be alone right now. You haven't said a single word since it happened. I'm worried about you. We're all worried," he motioned to his fellow comrades.

"Lester, stop it. You are just making it worse," Agony growled.

"What the fuck!" Les was right in his face. "Tonight was one of the fucking scariest of my life. If you think everything is fine, great. For me, nothing is fine. This psychic shit is creepy and scares the shit outta me. Not to mention, I'm worried about T. Aren't you?"

T felt every muscle in Agony ready itself for an attack. _Stop, it's fine Agony. I need to tell them so they understand._ T moved until her back leaned against his front and pulled his arms tight around her. She needed the feeling of safety that came with him and Rev. "Listen," Rev automatically started to translate. "When somebody dies, I'm with him every fucking second of his demise. Not just faintly, like someone at the side of a playing field; but right in the middle. I feel every single one of his thoughts. I feel the sheer terror, the pain, the black despair. I hear their silent prayers and pleas and I feel the moment they give up. I feel the organs shutting down one by one finally ending with the brain. I feel every single step of their death and then, when it's over, I feel nothing at all. Where seconds prior a mind was present in my perception, there's now a black hole and it feels like a part of me is gone, too. Like their death had sucked out a part of my vital force. In addition, the sensations during the person's death are so real, so overwhelming; first the fight against it, then the gradual shut-down of the bodily systems; that I have to fight to keep my own body from shutting down. Every time I'm locked with a dying mind, there's the palpable risk of me dying, too. In the face of this, I hope you can understand why I want to be alone now. Agony and Rev will be with me. They won't leave my side. I'll be fine."

The Rangemen looked pained; but let her go. Whatever expectations they had going with T and her team tonight, even in their worst dreams they couldn't have imagined what really happened and what it meant for her. Slowly they started to realize the consequences of her so-called gift.

Terror laid sandwiched between Agony and Rev in their bed; Furor and Rage were outside on the sleep sofa. After they came back, she had taken a long hot shower and then forced a few bites of pizza down so the guys would give her peace. Now they were all fast asleep in their apartment so she had no chance to get away from them. She knew they did it deliberately; that all-sleeping-in-one-apartment. They worried about her; wanted to avoid that she would sneak out on them. That was what differentiated them from other teams; they were family, each one looking out for the others, caring deeply for them. Sighing she turned and immediately was pulled back by Agony. Even in his sleep he held her close to his body but it didn't suffocate her; never had. His dreams were troubled; full of worry about her. She wished she could free him from his worry; but that was the way it was and always would be. She had scared him one time too many and now he had to pay the price by constantly worrying about her. Snuggling back into him, she closed her eyes against the tears. She'd made so many faults in her life; had disappointed him, them all, so often. They never said anything, she didn't even feel disappointment in them; but she knew it was there, it had to be there. Nevertheless they stuck by her; through all the ups and downs. Like tonight - they would have started a fight with the Rangemen, risked the mission, without hesitation, just to protect her and engulf her in their familial safety. This needed to stop. She needed to make some changes. She needed to become more independent from them. It was what they all wished for her. They had promised her again and again that it wouldn't change a thing between them. They promised she wouldn't lose them; but that didn't change anything about the terror she felt at the thought of cutting the cord from them. They were her first real family. Losing Grief had nearly ended her own life. T knew she would soon lose Pain; but the thought of also losing the rest of them evoked a paralyzing panic in her.

When she was still wide awake an hour later, she cautiously scrambled out of the bed, pulled on a pair of sweats and Rev's hoodie, grabbed her cell phone and made her way out of the apartment. _How did they plan to stop me if they sleep like logs? _she shook her head as she entered the stairwell. Hector, who was on monitor duty with Woody, followed her on the cams as she waved at him before making her way up to the roof. It was four o'clock in the morning when T stepped onto the roof and scanned her surroundings. Sensing that there were no assassin lurking around anywhere close, T sat down with her back against one of the chimneys and closed her eyes breathing in the fresh night air. Trenton smelled awful she decided with a wrinkled nose. Finally she fired up her smartphone and opened a new text; she knew exactly what she wanted to write.

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 17 2012, 04:13  
Subject: Mark Twain and my demons

There's a quote from Mark Twain that Grief loved more than anything else. It was one of the first things he taught me in English.

_Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover._

It took me eight years to get to this point; but tonight I realized that I'm ready. The thought to change things, to risk losing what gives me safety, scares the shit outta me; but I will bravely face my demons. It's time that I stop being a victim of my past.

Wherever you are Bobby, I hope you are OK. Be safe, take care of yourself and come home when you are ready. You are deeply missed.

Esme

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, 01:13 in the morning, Bobby's POV**

Aurora Borealis. I laid wrapped up in my thermo sleeping bag outside in a deck chair and was watching the green magic of the northern lights. It was cold, just 36°F, but that helped me to stay sane. While my mind was racing a mile a minute, my body felt numb. The only feelings getting through the numbness were physical pain and the coldness; they made me feel somewhat alive. When I left Great Falls sixty hours ago, I felt like I was just short of going over the edge. I had felt it coming for some time now. Feeling the signs of a nervous breakdown and ignoring them; but then it was too late. Suddenly my carefully built protective walls collapsed and I needed to get away from everything – as fast and as far away as I could. I felt like I was suffocating. That was how I found myself at Newark Liberty International Airport, wondering where to go. When my eyes fell on an advertisement for the Denali National Park in Alaska, I decided that would be far enough away. I had packed my complete cache of outdoor equipment when I left Rangeman, so all I had to do was to buy a ticket. Two hours later I was in the air. It was the right decision. My lungs couldn't believe their luck when I arrived here. They got their first taste of pure air in who knows how many years. I looked back at the sky. Aurora Borealis. Magic. _When was the last time I took any kind of vacation? Jeez. That must have been half a year before Rubén left for that fucking mission._ The thought of him shot a piercing pain right through my chest. _Don't think about him, Brown. Don't do that to yourself. For once you need to take care of yourself before you can decide what to do about him._ I laid back and resumed my mindless observation of the sky when I heard the faint sound of my Blackberry announcing an incoming email. Sighing I wrangled myself out of the sleeping bag and made my way back into my room; I needed to warm up anyway.

An hour later I was still reading the email over and over again. She'd signed it: Esme. Not Terror, no, Esme. She had written this email as a friend and was sharing pieces of herself with me. She offered something from her past and that she was making a scary decision. She was making herself vulnerable. After everything I'd done, after I'd abandoned her, there was no criticism, no accusation, no pressure to come back. I couldn't stand the constant pressure anymore; but she somehow seemed to understand that. I understood this email exactly as what it was meant to be. Esme set me free. She gave me the freedom to breathe and hoped that one day I would come back.

'… Wherever you are Bobby, I hope you are OK. Be safe, take care of yourself and come home when you are ready. You are deeply missed.'

I dragged in a deep breath and blinked away the tears that threatened to escape my eyes. Home. Did I have a place I could call home?

_Be safe, sweetheart. I miss you, too._


	27. Chapter 27 What's In Your Bag?

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 27 – What's In Your Bag?**

It was half past eight in the morning and Ranger and Tank were discussing last night's events when there was a knock at Ranger's office door.

"Enter."

Junior came in and closed the door behind him. "Boss," he nodded first to Ranger then to Tank.

After the happenings at the assessment day on the compound Tank, Lester and Ranger had decided to put Junior on monitor duty for the time being.

"What do you want, Junior?" Ranger asked in an icy tone. He had wanted to fire him but according to his attorneys 'refusal to obey orders while on a training assignment' wasn't enough reason for the termination of his contract.

"Sir, I ask to be let back onto the mission team. I've been on monitor duty for the last two weeks. My behavior in that time has been impeccable. I apologized to Ram for ignoring his orders and to Terror for my hostile behavior towards her. I think I deserve to get back."

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "You think so."

"Yes, sir. With all due respect, you need every man on the team and I'm one of your best."

Tank eyed Ranger and tried to gauge his reaction; but Ranger's face was blank, giving nothing away.

"I don't agree with your evaluation, Junior. You're to stay on monitor duty until further notice. Dismissed." Ranger's voice was calm and quiet; a sure sign he was far beyond pissed.

"Sir, I have to…"

"I said 'dismissed'. Make me say it again and you can pack your shit and leave," Ranger growled menacingly.

With fury flashing in his eyes, Junior turned and slammed the door shut on his way out.

"Keep an eye on him, Tank. Men like him are a threat to Rangeman. I want him out of here ASAP."

At half past nine, the mission team was assembled in the conference room waiting for the Rangeman core team and the IA to arrive.

"Come on, Sad. There must be something you can tell us! Scar, Vince, dammit, someone talk to us!" Ace begged. He was positively bouncing in his chair with excitement; his eyes wide with curiosity.

The guys left behind were firing questions at those who had gone with Terror last night. Everyone knew how unrelenting she was with their training. Now they wanted to know how the boss operated during the real thing.

"There's nothing to say. Leave it, OK?" Vince was annoyed. His troubling dreams about their hellish night kept jolting him awake causing him not to sleep well.

"Fuck, no! You got the chance to be out with her. I mean, hot damn, all those weapons. Tell us how she is in action. Did she do that mind shit again?"

"ACE. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ram bellowed from the door where he had just entered. The men jumped at Ram's sudden loss of his notorious control. He was usually calm and serene hardly ever displaying his quick temper.

"Jeez. What has all your panties in such a bunch?" Ace scowled but kept silent. Nobody pissed Ram off willingly.

Five minutes later, Ranger, Tank, Lester and the IAs filed in and took their places.

"Men," Ranger immediately started, "as you all know a few of us accompanied the IA yesterday. I want you to know that the threat to Terror has been removed." The Rangemen drummed enthusiastically on the table top and handed out high fives until Ranger lifted an eyebrow and everybody instantly stopped. "**But**, observing Terror in action left every one of us shaken to the core. According to her, what we experienced in the course of the night was merely a fraction of her capabilities. What sounded dubious, perhaps adventurous yesterday, is the most powerful means of attack and defense I've ever witnessed. I don't say that in awe; but rather with worry 'cause as we discovered last night, it can be lethal for her. I no longer doubt that Terror can conduct this mission; I have second thoughts whether you will be able to adapt in the short amount of time that is left. Effective immediately you are all exempt from your other duties and will put your complete focus and energy in your training. I will no longer be part of the mission team. Instead, I will take over the BE Department drastically reducing the amount of accepted FTAs. This way they can manage their workload themselves without relying on the mission team members for help. If you have any open cases or assignments with one of the BEA guys, meet me in my office after your training is finished. The next weeks will demand your highest level of ability. Listen to T to the letter. In the face of the findings we've made so far, the core team will re-think the company's cooperation with the government once this assignment is finished." Turning to T, he nodded to her. "They are yours. I'll take care of Ice and we'll meet for dinner tonight on ten." T nodded and Ranger and Tank left the room.

On any other day, Lester would have made a lewd comment about the boss having a dinner date with the boss; but today he remained uncharacteristically silent. He was feeling awful; shaken, rattled and tremulous. All he wanted was to visit his mom in Miami, crawl in bed and let her pamper him until he was content.

_Les? I'm sorry that I shocked you so much,_ T thought unhappily.

When Lester looked up at her, his eyes were pained. _It's not your fault, Beautiful. I don't know why it's taking such a toll on me. Guess, I'm not as tough as I thought, huh?_

_That's nonsense, Les. Every mind reacts differently. I rather you struggle now and we have time to work it out than everything goes way too easy like with Sad and the breakdown comes when it's too late to do something about it._ When their eyes met she sent him a small smile and pushed some warm and cozy feelings of comfort and security to him making him smile a bit in return.

_OK guys,_ most of the men winced. _There is no easy way to do this, so let's get it over with. Effective immediately you'll stop talking whenever we are training together. Your only means of communication will be your thoughts. If you want to say something, think it. Best to think of me as the control room and each one of you is connected with me via WLAN. At the moment it's a one-way road between you and me; but in a minute I will let down the barriers I'm holding up right now and you will have everybody's thoughts in your mind. Whatever you think is automatically, at the same moment without filter, pushed to everyone else. That will be disturbing for you as you aren't used to it. Just try to keep breathing calmly and concentrate on yourself, not on the voices in your head. Last but not least, since every single thought will be pushed forward you'll hear some very private, perhaps intimate or uncomfortable things today and every day going forward. Thoughts are the most private and precious thing and have to be respected as such. If I hear anyone of you harassing any of your teammates because of what you heard in your minds, you'll be at the receiving and of some very unpleasant pain. Think Ice if you need a reminder._

The men looked at her apprehensively but T could have cared less. Slowly she started to relax and the flavored blips in her mind began to connect like a spiderweb.

The men struggled, their heartbeat and breathing accelerated and little beads of perspiration built on their foreheads.

_That's good, guys. Everything is fine. Keep breathing,_ she pushed dominantly over the jumble of thoughts.

After a couple minutes a few of the men started feeling overwhelmed. Their breathing became erratic and their bodies tensed.

_Ace, Knock, Bull. Concentrate on my voice. Breathe with me, come on. In … and out … in … and out. That's good. Don't let the fear grip you. Everything is fine._

After five more minutes she disconnected them.

_That was a good start. Move around a bit and shake your arms and legs to get rid of the tension. Then each of you take a bottle from the cooler. It's my 'Blue' – a liquid containing all the supplements your brain needs for optimum performance. You need to take a sip during each break; but use it carefully since you're only allowed one bottle per day._

T repeated the exercise over and over again and each time she started to communicate a bit more with the men. First, she individually asked them questions they had to answer, then in groups of two, three, four and so on. When it was time to finish, the Rangemen were a sweaty, exhausted mess.

_OK guys, one last time. How about we play a little game? I call it 'packing my bag'. I will start by saying 'I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks', then Furor to my right will repeat my sentence and add another item, then Rage will repeat Furor's packing list and add his own item and so on until the bag is back with me and I have to repeat every single item you added to it. Understood? OK, I will start…_

_I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks._

_I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks and a toothbrush,_ Furor continued.

_I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks, a toothbrush and three packs of condoms,_ Rage added with a sly grin.

_I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks, a toothbrush, three packs of condoms and two boxer briefs._

…

That's the way they continued all around the table. The Rangemen struggled to concentrate, again and again getting distracted by the mass of thoughts assailing them; but they managed to complete the exercise. The effect on the team spirit was invaluable. Without thinking about it, they continuously helped each other, laughed and let lose some of the tension that had built in them. Finally it was Terror's turn again.

_Jeez, guys, couldn't you have packed some girl items, too? Your thoughts are all in the gutter. Did you forget you were in the presence of a lady? _T rolled her eyes with grin.

_Quit stalling and stop whining just go on and pack your bag, boss. Or can't you remember what's in it?_ Willow playfully grinned back at her.

Leveling a twinkling glare at him, T stuck out her tongue and began:_ I take my bag and pack four pairs of socks, a toothbrush, three packs of condoms – Rage, really, only three packs? Not planning on too much action?, two boxer briefs, four jeans, toothpaste, hairbrush, lubricant – I don't even want to know, six Playboys - Jeez, now the lubricant makes sense, butt plugs in various sizes – Scar, is there something you wanna tell us?, nipple clamps – whatever you're aimed at, I'm neither aroused nor scared, a clit vibrator, four shirts – thank you Vince for being the sensible one out of this bunch, two mystery stories – you are my hero Ram, an iPod, trunks, a bath sheet, sunglasses, a razor, shaving cream and last not least I pack myself, _T grinned, leaned to her left and placed a big, wet smoochy on Lester's cheek making everybody either whine like school girls or whoop and whistle.

_Guys, you did great. I'm proud of you. Now, go enjoy a two hour lunch break. Eat something and relax. We'll meet at 1400 hours at the compound._

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, 09:00 in the morning, Bobby's POV**

Languorously I stretched under the cozy duvet and thought about opening my eyes. I felt refreshed. For the first time in years I had actually slept well, very well in fact. Today I had to get out of the hotel and do something; enough being idle, I chastised myself. The hotel was offering bus tours and guided hiking tours. I will go along with a group and take a look at the scenery. The moment those thoughts took shape in my mind, I felt my body tense in answer to the self-imposed pressure.

_Brown, you're a basket case. Just the thought of doing something stresses you out._ Unhappy, I buried my face into the pillow allowing the tears to flow. Why had I let it come this far? The signs were all there but I didn't allow myself to acknowledge them. _Nobody is forcing you to become active. _I repeated my mantra of the last few days._ You can simply stay in one more day or as long as you want._ Instantly I felt my body relax.

Turning on my stomach, I enjoyed the warmth of the bed engulfing me. My whole life I had forced myself to maximum performance, never allowed myself to slack off. That was so fucking wrong on so many levels. As a result, my psyche had now decided to take a time-out. I knew if I ever wanted to become healthy and resilient again, I would need to make some drastic changes in my life. No more self-imposed pressure; no more 'must'.

_From now on your life will be about living and enjoying it, Brown. Got it?_

Cautiously I opened one eye and peered at the alarm clock.

_Shit, nine o'clock! You never sleep later than 0430 hours._

At first I felt shocked and reacted as conditioned over the years - I had overslept, I must get up, I must hurry, I have no worth lying around in bed. But before I could jump up, I managed to pull the breaks and come to my senses.

_You must nothing, Brown! Make that rule no. one of your new life: Bobby Brown must nothing! Period!_

Oh, that thought felt wonderful. My body relaxed once again and I rolled over onto my side and started to giggle like a girl. The guys in Trenton would have a field day with that but who cares? Not me. Not anymore. This was the new and improved Bobby Brown. The first act of the first day of my new life: I'll order room service and have breakfast in bed while watching mindless shows on TV. I don't think I've ever done that before - ever.

* * *

It was seven p.m. when T and Furor knocked on Ranger's apartment door. The invitation had been for her alone; but that felt too much like a dinner date. She had decided to take Furor with her to give the whole thing a more "official business" atmosphere. To her immense relief, Tank was also there and together the four of them dug into a marvelous Cuban dinner, courtesy of Ella. After they finished their meal, they relocated to the living room.

_What did you get from Ice?_ T looked at Ranger.

_He isn't talking. Whoever trained him, has trained him well. I checked his background again and again; but couldn't find any inconsistencies._ Ranger answered.

_Whoever put his vitae together must be high up in the ranks. It's the perfect job. We still have no clue as to his true identity._ Tank's jaw was working.

_I will talk to him. We need to know who is behind this, plus I want to know who exactly is still after Rubén, _T frowned.

_Any news from him?_ Ranger asked.

_No. _This time Furor answered. _Dr. Garvey sent T an email and we called him afterward asking that he make no further attempts to contact us. We can't be sure how far their surveillance reaches and whether our emails and phone calls are secure. I'll call him every night using our sat-phone to check on things. For now, Rubén is fine; but shows no changes regarding his responsiveness._

Ranger sighed and shifted the conversation, _How did the men do today?_

_Very good. They fight and do their best. You can be proud of them. We'll just keep up the training and see where we stand in two weeks. I guess that's when I will have to leave for my surveillance of DuPuits. If they are ready, I'll take them with me and continue their training in DC._

_Ranger, what's with Snake? I missed him yesterday and with everything that was going on today, I forgot to ask about him, _Furor wondered.

_His handler called him and he had to leave for a mission. I talked to my handler and explained our situation here hoping to dispatch a mediator on Rangeman's behalf; but the suits were adamant that Snake must go. There was nothing I could do about it._

_Fuck. He was good. We needed him, _T thought.

_What about those medics you want to call in, Terror. Can you really trust them?_ Tank asked.

_Yes. They both owe their life to me and are absolutely devoted. They'd rather die than betray me._

_When will they arrive?_ Ranger asked.

_In two days, _Furorstated_. We agreed to keep their involvement with our mission quiet. Their teams aren't combat-ready at the moment. They will tell their leaders that they are taking a hiking trip together and won't be accessible for the next several weeks. Everything is planned out. I will bunk up with Rage and they can have our other apartment._

_T, _Ranger started,_ what was that last night about a branding on your shoulder that should be cut out?_

T bristled. Since the branding was mentioned last night she had felt unsettled. Nobody except the IAs themselves knew about the branding and what it meant. How could DuPuits know about it? Looking first at Ranger then at Tank, she stood up, pulled her shirt off and turned around. One more time the two men were appalled by the scars on her body. Instead of averting their eyes like last time, they took a closer look at T's body. Immediately they saw the words _bastardo, prostituta _and _traidor_ burned into the skin of her lower back. Scars from whippings and floggings zigzagged across her whole back. Other scars where deeper, bulgy and twisted and then there were those round, distorted bumps that could be seen all over her body. Finally, their eyes fell on her right shoulder blade. There it lay amid all those expressions of violence looking disturbingly beautiful. Ranger and Tank both stood and came nearer to take a closer look. Two angel wings were burned into the skin.

They were so detailed that you could see the wings were made of single feathers. Above them where normally a head would be set, a pair of devil horns rested and slightly overlapping the angel wings in front was a pitchfork – both signs of the devil and of hell. Inferna Angelus – hell's angels; it was their badge.

_That is beautiful, _Tank whispered._ May I touch it?_

_Yes._

The skin felt rippled; everything was distinctively identifiable – the horns, the pitchfork, the feathers.

_Does every one of you have one?_ Tank asked.

Instead of answering, Furor pulled his shirt up and turned showing the exact same branding at the same position.

_You know what this means, right?_ Ranger had sat back down looking directly into T's eyes.

_Yes, somehow DuPuits has access to more or less secret IA information, _T responded.

_Why secret?_

_I said 'more or less secret'. We don't advertise our branding. It's something we keep for ourselves. The branding is awarded to us at our inauguration ritual and marks us as Inferna Angelus. We wear it with great pride. It doesn't just show we are members of an elite team. More importantly, it symbolizes what we've overcome; the horrors of our life before IA, the training with the team, the cruel weeks of assessment and finally the painful inauguration itself. The fact that DuPuits not just knows about it but also knows where it is situated and that it identifies me as an IA is unsettling._

Ranger nodded. _We need to get into DuPuits hidden computers. Silvio is coming up here from Miami. He's the best hacker Rangeman has plus he's my cousin. I trust him completely. He's on the red eye and will arrive early tomorrow morning. We can leave for DC either after lunch or after dinner; depends on your training plans._

Later that night, T laid between Agony and Rev and once more she couldn't sleep; too much was going on in her mind. So as cautiously as she could, she got up and put on some gym clothes. She had run ten miles and was hammering away on one of the punching bags when the door opened and Lester entered the gym.

_Hey Beautiful. Trouble sleeping?_

_Yeah. And what's your excuse?_

_Monitor duty with Hector. We saw you letting go and thought to check on you. Are you_ _alright?_ He looked at her, his eyes full of concern.

T hesitated. Her normal response would be to divert the attention by bantering; but she wanted to change her previous ways. She wanted to face her past so she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before looking at Les. _If I was alright, I wouldn't be here Les. But it has nothing to do with this mission. I'm just totally fucked up in the head._

For a split second Lester's eyes widened in surprise._ Don't say that. You are such an amazing person._

_Amazingly insane, yes._

Lester scrutinized her for a moment before he gently pulled her body, sweaty and all, into his arms. _You miss them, don't you?_

_So much that it hurts, Les. _And she couldn't hold back the silent sobs that started to shake her body.

_Hush, Baby. It's ok. I miss them, too. _And for a long while Lester just gently rocked her until he felt her body relax. _How about you grab a quick shower in the locker room? I have some spare sweats I can give you. Then we go upstairs to four and grab something to eat; Hector wanted to order something in. You could keep me company while I have to endure that mind-numbing monitor duty._

_Why are you on monitor duty? You aren't supposed to do anything but training._

_Tank couldn't find someone for tonight, so I said I'd do it. After all it's my company, too. Come on Beautiful. You can't sleep anyway, might as well come with me. _He showed her his all-tooth crooked smile.

T nodded and ten minutes later they entered the command floor; T sinking in a fresh pair of Lester's sweatpants and one of his Army hoodies. Hector waved and with a brilliant smile pointed to the biggest, steaming, extra cheese pizza T had ever seen.

_Why don't you send Bobby a text and tell him that you miss him, _Lester asked after they had polished off the pizza and T sat snuggled into his lap, watching the monitors with him.

_I have, last night; but he hasn't answered._

_Did you do it to get an answer?_

T thought for a moment. _No, I sent it to show him that I'm not angry, that I understand why he left and that he's missed._ Unconsciously she started to play with Lester's fingers as she'd done so often with Rubén's. _I guess I just hoped he would answer,_ she added silently.

_Give him time, Beautiful._ Lester squeezed her gently. _If you want to write him again, do it._ _Don't overthink things. Talk to him, even if you don't get an answer. He will come back to you when he's ready._

_You think?_

_I'm absolutely sure, _Les thought while he nuzzled T above her ear and finally pressed a kiss at her temple.

T turned on his lap and looked at him. People were really blind not to see what a wonderful, caring man was hidden behind the jokester façade. She untangled herself from his arms, pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek, another one on the cheek of a totally surprised Hector and made her way back to her apartment on seven.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 18 2012, 03:34  
Subject: What kept me fighting

Bobby,

I hope you take good care of your heart and soul and pamper yourself; you deserve it so much.

Today was one of those days where I constantly had to think of Grief. While we were dragging our exhausted, sweaty, stinky bodies over the muddy compound (just wanna give ya a feeling for the situation *g*) I remembered another one of Grief's Mark Twain quotes:

_It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog._

When Grief brought me to the US, I was a mess. I had just survived hell; but as a result I was deaf and mute. I was afraid of the dark. I couldn't stand to be alone; but I also couldn't stand anyone but Grief around me. I didn't know any English and could barely write in my mother tongue, Portuguese. In some way my body may have left prison; but my mind was still there, captured in its own hell. Grief never gave up on me, not for one second. He let me cling to him like a spider monkey and not once gave me the feeling I'd be a burden. With his help, I started to get better and to reclaim my independence. When I finally understood enough English, he showed me the aforementioned quote and explained it to me. Thenceforward, whenever I struggled or even felt like giving up, he locked eyes with me and together we recited 'the dog-quote' as we called it.

It became my constant partner over many years of struggle and I thought that perhaps it can help you, too. As Grief always told me: 'Our worst foes are the ones that live inside us; those are self-doubt, insecurity and no self-respect.

Esme

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, 23:34 in the evening, Bobby's POV**

_What a day,_ I shook my head. First that absolutely unhealthy breakfast that without a doubt clogged up every artery in my body. It was great. Then I simply stayed in bed and read a mystery story I found in the bedside table. I felt giddy; like a kid that did a real no-no. Around three p.m. I became restless, so without thinking about it, let alone making plans, I pulled on some sweats and went for a run. The hotel's dog enthusiastically accompanied me about half the way before she laid down on a patch of grass. When I made my way back, I found her at the same spot waiting for me. She trotted to my side and together we ran the remaining distance back to the hotel.

Dinner was another bed affair with some movies and now I was lying in my sleeping bag outside my room on a deck chair. It was another cloudless night and I waited for the northern lights to appear.

The whole day I had to think of Esme's email. The quote she'd sent me wouldn't leave me alone.

_Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover._

I've never followed my dreams. Actually, I can't remember whether or not I even ever had dreams.

My parents were super successful business law attorneys. Brown & Trelauney LLP, 1285 6th Avenue, New York, with locations in New York, London and Tokyo. Last state of knowledge: 30 partners plus 336 employed lawyers.

Just thinking about them left a foul taste in my mouth.

I was their only child and as my mom so considerately worded 'their biggest mistake'. I was an accident; never meant to be. However, since I was there they decided to make the best of a fucked up situation. After all, they would have an heir for their legal empire. They employed the best nannies, bought me the most expensive things and as soon as I was old enough they sent me to a boarding school. I was twelve fucking years old when they put me on a plane to Switzerland, ALONE. They didn't even bother to accompany me to the airport to see me off. I felt my stomach start to cramp at the memories. The 'Lyceum Alpinum Zuoz', one of the leading elite boarding schools in Switzerland, probably in the world. Fuck. All I wanted was for them to love me; but instead they dumped me off to Europe, as far away as they could. On my first vacation back home to New York, I thought now, now they'd be there for me. After all, we hadn't seen each other for several months. I mean, I was twelve – what was I supposed to think? I was such a naïve dumbfuck. The whole summer I sat at home alone wondering what I'd done wrong, what I could do better, what it would take to have them even notice me. After that summer, I only came home once a year for two weeks. To be honest, I would have stayed at school those two weeks; but the campus closed down for maintenance and I wasn't allowed to stay at Zuoz. When I left the boarding school at nineteen, I had the 'Schweizer Matura', the 'Deutsches Abitur' and the 'International Baccalaureate'; the Swiss, German and International equivalent of a general qualification for university entrance. I fluently spoke German, Italian, French, Latin and Spanish and as an added bonus - I had a totally fucked up head.

When I arrived at LaGuardia in New York, nobody was there to pick me up so I took a taxi home. They'd 'forgotten' I was coming. Yeah, that can happen when you only see each other just two weeks per year over an eight years period. No apology, no hug, no joy, just a formal handshake, a congratulation and a Porsche as gift. Oh, but they had everything flawlessly prepared for me to start at their firm. I sincerely held hope that by working with them I'd finally be worthy of their love … yeah right, you can imagine how that worked out. It took me a year before I realized, no matter how much I'd try, no matter how hard I'd work, in their eyes I'd always remain their biggest mistake.

Shortly after that sobering realization, I strolled up 43rd Street and passed an Army Recruiting Office. Looking back on that day, I can say that it was one of the best days of my life. I read the 'Go Army' slogan, saw the pictures and two months later I was on my way to Ft. Benning, Georgia. I didn't especially care whether it was the Army or another branch of the military; I just needed to get away from my life. Those last two months my parents didn't speak a single word to me. I guess that was a declaration of how happy they were with my decision.

The day I left I was alone at the airport, again. I had terminated the rent for my apartment and had lived the last two weeks with my parents. I remember that I turned around in the door and looked back into their airy penthouse apartment before I put my keys on the antique dining table. No sense in keeping them, I didn't plan to ever return there. I closed the door and called the elevator to make my way to the airport. My parents had went to work that morning without even saying good-bye. While I waited for the elevator I was struck by a somber thought, I could not recall one time in my twenty years of life that my parents ever hugged me.

I pulled my Blackberry out of the sleeping back and read Esme's email again. She'd been through so much horror in her short life and nevertheless had the courage to conquer her fears. I was in awe of her.

'It's time that I stop being a victim of my past.'

Wasn't I a victim of my past, too? How was I supposed to change that? I was so tired; there was no fight left in me. Besides, how can you overcome a **whole** fucked-up life? The values that brought me to my knees had been ingrained in me from birth. I didn't have the energy to triumphantly battle against a task as massive and oppressive as my past. Before I could indulge further in my mystery, the sound of an incoming email pulled me out of my self-pity.


	28. Chapter 28 On The Prowl 1

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 28 – On The Prowl 1**

_badam … badam … badam … badam … badam … badam …_

The feeling of the tires running over the welds in the asphalt was lulling. It was a stormy, gloomy afternoon. They had left Rangeman an hour ago when the rain was a slight, annoying drizzle. Now as they continued down the highway the rain was like a constant curtain of water cascading from a waterfall. Leaning her head against the window, T watched the scenery speeding by in a blur. In front of them were Ranger and Silvio in Ranger's Cayenne. Then came their Escalade holding Agony, Rev and herself. Behind them were Lester, Hector, Zip and Zero in a Rangeman Navigator. The way the three SUVs were racing along the highway, ducked against the wind, lithesome cutting through the rain; they looked like three lethal black panthers on the prowl. T closed her eyes and concentrated on the monotonous bumps from the welds and the drumming of the rain splashing against the Escalade's undercarriage. Step by step she managed to block out her surroundings.

Silence.

Far away, at the end of a long dark tunnel, she heard Agony and Rev's thoughts but successfully blanked them out.

Blissful silence.

Over the years, T had learned to love these moments when nothing existed around her - just complete noiselessness. Instantly, her thoughts went to Rubén; to their day together when she crowned him her knight in shining armor. He had made her a Brazilian breakfast, the first in eight years, and when she was overwhelmed with fear, he had held her hand. T recalled the memory of her small hand in his big one. Momentarily she felt his fingers gently close around hers and the warmth of his hand seep into her skin. The feeling was wonderful. Languorously the warmness wandered up her arm, down to her heart and from there spread through her whole body; just like it had done that day. Later they had laid on the recliner and he had her spooned from behind - even with Agony or Rev she had never ever felt as safe and secure as in that moment with Rubén. For the first time in her life, T wanted for something else to happen though she couldn't say what exactly. There'd simply been this strange longing in her. In retrospect, she realized that day was the actually day her feelings for Rubén consciously developed into something more than just friendship. One of his hands had been splayed over her belly while the other had been caressing her arm. Taking a deep breath and relaxing deeper into the backseat, T felt the strange longing again; the longing for him to pull her even closer into his body; the longing for him to kiss her neck just one more time. Giving reign to her mind T imagined Rubén doing these things. Instantly, she felt the pressure of his chest to her back. His body was warm and he engulfed her completely, like your favorite blanket that you never want to let go. The hand on her belly was drawing lazy circles over her shirt and she felt him nuzzle her neck. It felt amazing. His lips grazed her collar bone before he gently nipped up to the nape of her neck, heating her skin with his warm breath. Slowly he worked his way up her neck and pressed a kiss behind her ear. Just when T was about to succumb to sleep, she felt his groin gently pushing into her backside, rubbing at her, and it made something clench with need deep in her abdomen. With a jolt, T startled and looked around with wide eyes.

_Angelito, is everything OK? _Agony had turned in his seat and was scrutinizing her.

_I'm fine; just a dream._ T leaned back against her seat and stared out the window so he wouldn't see the shock written over her face. Her heart was racing and her breathing was slightly labored. _What the fuck was that?_

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, the same time, Bobby's POV**

I was still in bed; but this time there was no giddiness about doing something nonproductive. My eyes felt like sandpaper from the hours of crying that laid behind me. Esme's email had caused something inside me to snap and suddenly I couldn't hold back anymore. One moment I was wondering how I was supposed to overcome my past; thinking that I didn't have the strength in me to conquer it. The next moment I got her email telling me that the size of your foe didn't matter; instead, all that mattered was the size of the fight in yourself. From one second to the other, all the anguish and sorrow that had built in me over the years flushed out and there was no stopping. My whole life I had fought to be perfect. Now that I finally realized what was really going on, there was no fight left in me. Eventually in the wee morning hours I fell into an exhausted sleep. How could I have become so fucked up without realizing it?

I knew I should get up but the energy required for that didn't seem worth it. I always thought I was oh so strong, calm, serene, in peace with myself; but last night I had to realize I was just as fucked up as Rubén and Esme. That hurt; but on the other hand, in a painful way, it also felt liberating. I always thought that it was my emotional stability, my self-assuredness that could keep Rubén afloat. I thought I could give him the security he needed; but how was that supposed to work when I didn't really have those qualities within me. This whole time I have lied to myself pretending to have characteristics that didn't exist. No, not pretending. I had repeatedly told myself those things until I believed them. I believed I was strong, self-assured, and able to conquer anything; but I just wasn't. I had foibles and limits. However, instead of acknowledging that, I pushed and pushed myself to be someone I was not. Now I was at the end of my rope. New tears started to gush out of my eyes as that realization hit me once more.

I felt so lost. I wanted to be with Rubén and Esme, I wanted them hugging and holding me. I wanted them here with me, far away from all our pasts. Perhaps if we started a new life here, we could conquer our demons together. I didn't know how to deal with this darkness in me. They'd know. They'd know what to do; how to help me. I missed them so much.

* * *

It was three p.m. when the three SUVs finally turned into the driveway of the IA's mansion. When they reached DC's city limits the sky had cleared and now the sun was shining; welcoming them home. T jumped out of the Escalade just in time to see Emma running towards her, ears flapping, spit flying, yapping with joy.

Zip and Zero had been here before so they knew what to expect; but awaited the reactions of their fellow Rangemen. While Lester, Hector and Silvio stood with their jaws agape in awe of the beautiful three story mansion in front of them; Ranger showed his amazement with a slight smile. It was easy to detect the colonial style. Four pillars held the roof over the entrance and beautiful rose bushes nestled right and left against the walls. The whole appearance exuded a southern charm.

The house was set up slightly higher than the rest of the buildings stating its superiority. However, it didn't come off as pompous. The design was understated, nested and cozy. What once had probably been a simple three story house, was now partly extended with a fourth floor, increasing the nestled charm. To the right behind them, two garages held six cars each. One garage had Sean and Toby's apartment on top. Over the other garage was a fully equipped and beautiful workshop. About Hundred yards to the left, were two other one story buildings. The smaller cottage style one was the home of Brian and Timothy. The bigger one held the IA's gym with fitness center and romping mats.

"Damn, Beautiful!"

T wasn't sure whether Lester meant her or the house; but he looked positively speechless.

_Rev, give them the penny tour through the house and show them their rooms. We'll meet in the kitchen in thirty minutes._

_Ay, boss._

"Gentlemen. If you'd be so kind to follow me," he bowed and with a flourish asked the Rangemen into the house. "Welcome to Camp Inferna Angelus; it's our pleasure to have you here. This mansion was built 1735 by Jeremiah Beauregard and has been completely restored several times since then. You can see its development in the paintings that are hung throughout the house. The building's core is still the same; but the Beauregard family remodeled things over the centuries. The break with tradition came in 1950 when Christine Beauregard, already pregnant, married one devastatingly sexy, hot-blooded Alejandro Torres, Puerto Rican immigrant; much to the dismay of her parents if I may say so. Shortly after their marriage, Alejandro was enlisted and sent to Korea. Christine stayed with her parents. Her and Alejandro's son was born here in this house; but died shortly after birth due to pneumonia. After Alejandro Torres returned from Europe, he and Christine started to build their own life. Over the years, they broke with many of the old traditions and fought their whole lives long for the rights of the socially disadvantaged, especially single mothers. They had two more sons, Ramiro and Nuno Torres, the latter was also known as Grief, and a daughter, Esperanza Torres. After their parent's death, Ramiro and Nuno continued their parents' philanthropic work. Still today, several trust funds are supporting programs like The Abused and Homeless Children's Refuge, Time To Fly, The Joseph Willard Health Center and First Candle. The most recent changes to the house were made eight years ago. The complete waterfront was replaced with high tech bullet proof glass, solar collectors were mounted all over the roof and the partial fourth floor was added. At the moment, four employees take care of the house and the surrounding grounds. Sean is our cook and if you are nice to him he won't poison you and that's no joke. His partner Tobias is taking care of the house together with Timothy. Timothy's partner Brian is taking care of the grounds and is responsible for the beautiful flowers growing all over the premises."

Rev played the perfect tourist guide. The Rangemen stood in the library and took in the mind-boggling view that presented itself to them through the floor to ceiling glass front. The beautifully landscaped backyard filled with flowers sloped softly down to the Potomac 100 yards away. There was an artful marble fountain near the terrace and impressing rose and oleander bushes were arranged over the ground. On their way upstairs to the second floor Rev continued.

"As you can see you find the library, the living room, the game room, our infirmary, a half bathroom next to the entrance and the heart of the house – our eat-in kitchen on the first floor. The kitchen is the place where we spend most of our time. Now, the second floor holds two studies, our two guest rooms, a storage room and Pain's bedroom."

While they walked the halls and Rev showed them the rooms, Ranger noticed the colorful paintings scattered between well-known artists; the biggest, most impressive one he'd seen downstairs in the kitchen.

"Rev, who made all those eye-catching paintings? The one in the kitchen is just amazing," he asked.

"Yeah man, you look at them and immediately you are either in good spirits, or you feel thoughtful or peaceful." Lester looked at the rainbow of colors in the small frame in front of him.

Zip and Zero grinned knowingly while Rev's face started to glow with pride. "T painted them. She has an amazing talent to capture emotions in colors, hasn't she? We are all so proud of her."

Ranger looked at the small painting in front of them and carefully kept his face blank. No need for the others to see how much in awe he was about Terror and her multiple talents.

"Come on. Let's go up to three," Rev urged them. "The third floor houses Furor, Rage, V, Agony and me. At the end of the hall to the right, a small stairwell leads to the fourth floor and Terror's kingdom. Should you for whatever reason make your way up to the fourth floor to talk to her – at the top of the stairs you enter a vestibule. At its end, you'll find a door with a bell button. Push that button and wait – if she doesn't come she's either not there or doesn't want to talk to you."

"Alright, that's it." Rev announced once they were back on the second floor. "T thought that you," he looked at Zip and Zero, "should take Pain's room and the rest of you can divide yourselves among the two guestrooms. Toby and Timothy should have made the beds and stocked the bathrooms with towels. We'll meet in ten minutes down in the kitchen."

When Ranger and his men entered the kitchen ten minutes later, the IAs were already gathered around the dining table. Sean had prepared a big plate full of sandwiches and a tuna salad and everybody hungrily dove in and began eating.

_Guys, since we have Hector and Silvio with us, I will mainly revert to ASL. But don't think I won't listen in, so no bossy comments in your mind, got it Ranger?_ T winked at him making him clench his teeth. _I heard that, Ranger! … That, too! _T smiled brightly and blew Ranger a kiss as he glared at her.

_Stop pulling his tale, Angel. That's not fair._ Rev scolded her.

_Yeah, maybe not fair; but definitely fun … Jeez, OK, OK... don't look at me like that, DAD! - I'll stop._ T rolled her eyes at Rev and silently giggled.

After they had finished eating T, who was sitting at the head of the table, started to sign.

"Hector, Silvio, Ranger has probably notified you that clearance to any knowledge regarding the mission content Rangeman got contracted for requires a security level you do not possess." The two men nodded affirmation. "Well, I on the other hand am not up for a game of hide-and-seek. So what to do… If you agree, I'll treat you as part of the team. Any information you hear regarding the mission will immediately leave your brain, got it? If not; should you feel like becoming tattletales, I **will** kill you. We clear?" T signed this without any humor, her face earnest and devoid of emotion. Hector and Silvio both hesitantly glanced at Ranger who shrugged his shoulders.

"I would listen to her cause if not, and you survive her, **I'll** make sure you find yourself six feet under." Ranger shook his head and mentally rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he just said that. T had started to have a bad influence on him.

_Just the best influence Ranger, just the best. You'll see. When I leave after everything is finished up, the stick in your ass will be gone and you'll be a really nice and amiable guy._ T grinned widely at him as his eyes flashed with annoyance.

"OK then, let's get started. First, I'll check where DuPuits is keeping himself. Zip, Zero, I want you sticking to him like glue; BUT vigilantly as always. Be invisible. Take a camera with you in case he's meeting someone; Agony can give you one of ours. Who knows, perhaps we get lucky. Take two of our private cars and take Hector with you. Should DuPuits meet with someone, you'll divide. The one following the third party will take Hector and perhaps there's a chance for some B&E. Take care that you have the camera, flash drives and the corresponding cables with you. Hector, be on your toes. You're dealing with government employees of the highest clearance. They'll have more than your average alarm system." Hector nodded. "Any information indicating a connection to DuPuits or any other important government employee is ours. Questions?"

The three men shook their heads no.

"Ranger, I want you to visit your handler. Pressure him. Behave out of your norm. We could get lucky and he'll make a call to someone connected to our target grouping. I'll contact you if he does and you can follow the third party. If he doesn't make contact with anyone, you follow him. Perhaps he'll meet up with someone. Take a camera. Oh, and take one of our cars; your Cayenne is too obvious since you've already visited him. One more thing, does it have to be a Porsche? There's a Panamera in the right garage; but it's not black. Although, that may be good because nobody will ever expect **you** to be driving a silver car."

Ranger narrowed his eyes and fiercely glared at her. Today she was not holding back. T was eagerly pulling his tail.

"Silvio," T turned to Ranger's cousin. "I want you with me. Take your laptop and web-stick. We'll need a continuous internet connection. You'll have to check names, positions within the different justice bureaus and conjure pictures of the target persons that we can send to the guys' cell phones. Lester, you'll be with me, too. Take a quick shower and dress up. The same goes for you Zip, Zero, Rev and Agony as well. I want you to be prepared in case we can sniff out a secretary or the like that you can charm into chattiness. Questions anybody?"

That was met with silence.

"Alright, then let's roll!"

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, the same time, Bobby's POV**

I finally managed to hoist myself out of bed. My body felt like it weighed tons. Every tiny movement was exhausting; but I needed to get out of my room. I knew that by staying in bed, I'd succumb to the depression that threatened to break me down completely. No way! I was stronger than that and I couldn't let that happen. I trudged into the crowded dining room and managed to eat a little bit while watching the other diners. An hour later, I dragged myself out onto the deck and sagged down into one of the deck chairs. Once I'd covered up with a blanket, I pulled out my Blackberry and read Esme's email for the umpteenth time. Good thing it wasn't printed on paper otherwise by now, it would have disintegrated by the slightest touch. Poor Esme; what hells had she seen to become deaf-mute? Do I really want to know? I thought about that for a while. Yes, I needed to know. She was becoming an important part of my life. I wanted to share the horrors of her past with her in the hope to ease the burden a bit. I wanted to hold her in the dark or when she felt alone. I couldn't undo what happened but I could help her deal with the residual fears.

I laid in the deck chair and closed my eyes. The sun was shining warmly down and was warming me. It felt nice.

Why couldn't my parents love me? I remembered all those times as a kid when I wanted to tell them of my adventurous day in Kindergarten or of an accomplishment in grade school. I'd approach them only to be relegated into the care of the nanny. They were always too tired or had an impending deadline to meet. "Not now, Robert; you are so annoying, Robert; Robert you are giving me a headache." My parents were not physically abusive or intentionally crass. They simply weren't interested in me. There were times when I didn't see them for weeks because they were already gone when the nanny woke me and they came home long after I was sent to bed. I tried to be the perfect son hoping it would make them love me. I did my homework, brought home excellent grades and I helped where I could. I never slacked off; I constantly tried to be productive in some way. I was always silent so I wouldn't disturb them, tried to be invisible so I wouldn't annoy them; but even with all that, they didn't love me. Instead they found me bothersome; and since they were the adults and I was taught that adults were always right, it must be my fault. It was my fault that they were tired, my fault that mother had headaches, my fault that father incurred losses because I was so loud and nerve-wracking. I tried never to be loud. Whenever they were home, I kept myself in my room and just whispered while playing. The nannies were nice. When it was safe, meaning my parents were on a business trip, they allowed me to invite friends over to our house. My nannies played with me; they held me in their arms when I cried or had nightmares and consoled me; they patched me up when I would scrape my knee; but they weren't my mother or father. I wanted my parents to hold me, to listen to me, to play with me. Eventually around age ten, I started to hurt myself just to get some attention. First, I just had a bad stomach ache; but that didn't do the trick. Soon, I realized that my parents wouldn't come; but told the nanny to take care of me. It didn't take long for me to find out that my parents were forced to come as soon as I needed treatment at a hospital. They couldn't appear as unloving, so naturally they needed to stay with me. Soon enough, I had a lot of accidents. I fell down stairs, somehow cut my arms and hands bad enough that I'd needed stitches and lastly, I got hit by a car. That last one was a really bad idea and I decided afterward not to do that again. I'm sure those accidents were the main reason to send me away to the boarding school. My 'clumsiness' simply kept them from their work.

I felt tears prick at my eyes while the memories floated through my mind. In a strange way it felt good to remember those things. I had bottled them up and now I let them free.

Once in Switzerland, I learned to become independent from them and their affection – or lack thereof. The teachers there did good work of building up my self-esteem. I had lots of friends; within the boarding school but mostly outside. I didn't give a shit about money and that made it easy for me to be friends with the 'normal' kids from the public school in town. They invited me home with them and I got a glimpse of what family life could be like. Over the years, I rationalized that a healthy and happy family correlated with having no money. The less money my friends' parents had the wider their arms opened to welcome me in their midst. In retrospect, those eight years in Switzerland were good years. They kept me grounded, taught me about what counted and saved me from spiraling out of control in my self-destructiveness. I learned to be my own man in those years. My parents' behavior, when I finally came back at nineteen, didn't hurt me the way it had in the past. My time in Switzerland also helped me to make the decision to join the Army. I was self-assured, independent and had learned that I can achieve anything in the world if I just worked hard enough. The best was that I didn't give a flying fuck what my parents thought.

What happened to that Bobby Brown? When had I lost myself?

Now the hurdles in front of me seemed insurmountable. I loved Rubén; but I couldn't deal with Muerte. The feeling of suffocating came back the moment I started to think of them. _Think of Esme, Brown. Think of her sparkling green eyes, her infectious laughter._ Slowly, I started to get my bearings and my labored breathing evened out. How was I supposed to overcome whatever the problem was if I couldn't even think about it?

_Esme, sweetheart, please tell me what to do!_


	29. Chapter 29 On The Prowl 2

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 29 – On The Prowl 2**

It had become surprisingly warm and Terror and Silvio sat with their backs against the Washington Monument while Rev and Agony kept watch.

_Angel, you're killing us here. How are Agony and I supposed to keep you safe if you put yourself on show?_

_Fuck off, Rev. I'm scanning the area every now and then._ T was huffy and not in the mood to be antagonized. Her head hurt and the 24/7 nausea was getting worse by the hour. DuPuits sat in his office in the Pentagon and harassed his secretary. She was a single mom and scared of losing her job. She endured the harassment desperately thinking of providing for her daughter. What T wouldn't give to get her hands around DuPuits' neck. On another floor of the Pentagon, Ranger was about to enter the office of his handler. Keeping loose tabs on DuPuits, T concentrated on Ranger and the mind of the woman in front of him. He could have fucking told her that he had a female handler. Dammit! When Ranger left her office half an hour later, T felt like packing in her job and leaving for a nice, warm island somewhere in the Caribbean. Ranger and his handler had fucked each other, hard and plenty, in the past. The woman's thoughts were constantly returning to a naked, sweaty, grunting, groaning, moaning Ranger. That was so not what T needed. Standing up, she calmly walked to the next bin and threw up.

_Fuck, Angelito, what`s wrong? _Agony was next to her in a heartbeat.

_Nothing. I'm just fed up with mankind. _T thought while dry-heaving. When Agony tried to sooth her and stroked her back, she jerked away. _Don't touch me! _She snarled.

Shocked and a bit crushed, Agony stepped back and gave her room.

_I'm sorry;_ _I didn't mean to jump at you, Agony, forgive me._ T felt dizzy as she made her way over to him.

_Talk to me Angelito, _he thought while gathering her in his arms. Rev had walked over to them, too. _Something is wrong with you, Sweetie. I know it. I can feel it. The longer you keep silent, the more worried Rev and I get._

_Not now, OK? _Taking a deep breath she took the bottle of Blue that Rev offered her. Lester and Silvio stood a few feet away and watched them carefully. _Let's get back to work. Keep Ranger away from me for a while, please._

Agony and Rev looked at each other, then at T and nodded. What the fuck had just happened? Before they could ponder about it, T lifted her hand. Something was happening.

"Williams? Garcia here," Ranger's handler said in a snippy tone into the phone. "Ranger was just here. He's still pissed about you pulling Snake away from Rangeman. You said it would be just for a week, max. Tell me he'll be back in time."

T quickly scribbled 'Williams à handler? Snake?' and pushed it to a puzzled Silvio.

"I told you it wasn't my decision, Garcia. He's one of the best trackers we have and his abilities were needed elsewhere." The man named Williams bit back.

"His ass is needed here, Williams. Get him back, NOW!" Garcia blustered into the phone.

"Listen to me, Garcia. You better behave or I'll tell the board about your extracurricular arrangements. Perhaps if you start paying for it, your worn out nympho cunt will get fucked again and I don't have to listen to your bitching."

Ranger's handler slammed the phone back into its cradle. She was fuming. T felt a new wave of nausea bubbling up in her. Taking a few deep breaths, she concentrated on the man named Williams. She had detected him just a few offices down from Garcia. Williams stood up and left his office.

T felt a nudge from Silvio. He had a picture of Williams on his screen with address, telephone numbers, cars licensed on his name and civil status. 'Save that and send a copy to Ranger,' she hastily scribbled.

"Sir," T saw Williams enter a large office with a man in his fifties behind a big mahogany desk. "Garcia is making problems because of Snake, sir. Can you confirm that he'll be back within the defined time frame? Apparently, he's needed at Rangeman."

"You know very well that I can't confirm anything. The operative, Snake, is needed for a black op and will be back when he's back."

'Superior of Williams, male, mid-fifty, gray buzz-cut?' Silvio instantly started to type away.

Williams was on his way back to his office when Buzz-cut grabbed his phone and dialed.

"General? My call is in regards to one of my operatives. . Snake. .Yes Sir, that's him. He's needed back at his company. . Rangeman. . Yes. ."

T desperately scanned the Pentagon hoping the General was within the building's confines.

"Correct, they were contracted from the FBI and DEA. . No, they are still in preparation. . Sir. . I understand, sir."

A second before they ended the call, T found the General at the opposite side of the building. He wasn't happy. He had called the Rangeman employee into action as a favor for a friend. They were in desperate need of a tracker for a FUBAR situation in Russia. It wasn't planned that this would make such waves. Taking the phone he dialed a well-known number.

"Yo."

"Ranger, this is General Henley. You're making a lot of noise."

"Sir?" T rolled her eyes at Ranger's response. For the life of her she'd never call anybody 'sir'.

"Listen. It was me who asked for Snake. His particular skill set was needed for this mission. I know that they have no chance to get in contact with him at the moment; but I will make sure that he comes back as soon as possible."

"Thank you, sir. We're running a bit tight and need him." Ranger answered.

T waited for the General's next move; but nothing happened. He sat at his desk and thought about the family gathering scheduled for the upcoming weekend and didn't waste another thought on Ranger, Snake or whoever the friend was that requested Snake. The General was a dead end. A hand on her knee made T open her eyes.

_Ranger wants to know what he's supposed to do,_ Rev asked.

_Vanish from the face of earth, _T growled. The urge to throw up was simmering just under the surface.

_Angel, what's wrong?_

_What if I say that I don't 'want' anymore, Rev? _T had closed her eyes again 'cause she could feel the telltale prick of tears. She didn't know why she'd just said that to Rev. Perhaps it was the way he looked at her with loving concern.

_What do you mean you don't 'want' anymore? Working tonight? We can go home. Fuck the whole situation; we can come back another night._

T snorted silently. _No, it's ok, Rev. Tell Ranger I said he can go have fun with his handler. He's no longer needed until we meet at DuPuits'_.

Rev frowned at her before taking the SAT phone back to his ear. A few seconds later, he put it away. _He's on his way here, Angel. Also, he's sorry for whatever you may have overheard._

Three hours later, T and her team were scattered around the perimeter of the Army Navy Country Club. Zip and Zero had followed DuPuits, who was now strolling over the green, accompanied by three men who were obviously high up in the ranks.

_OK guys, we need good shots of every one of those men. The moment you have one, you'll send it to Silvio. I listen in to their discussion._ Silvio was silently sitting next to T in the Escalade and awaited his instructions. He'd long stopped wondering what exactly was going on between T and the rest of the crew. Soon enough the first picture appeared on his screen and he plunged into his search.

"Marshall is nervous," one of the men said. "He's asking questions."

"What kind of questions?" DuPuits asked.

"He wants to know why the moving orders Rangeman received were for **shortly before **the drug is distributable."

"What kind of answers does he get?" DuPuits again.

"That the decision was made at Langley due to the drug being offered as a biological warfare agent and decisions made at Langley are beyond question, as everybody knows."

"Good Jones. Keep an eye on him. Should his curiosity become a nuisance, we'll have to take action."

T's hand flew over her notebook. 'Marshall / Jones. Which bureau? What positions?' Silvio was still working on the first pictures while others were already arriving. 'Print me one picture of each man, Silvio, now.' Interrupting his other work, he chose four pictures and sent them to the little printer they'd taken with them. As soon as they came out, T wrote the names DuPuits and Jones on the backsides of the corresponding pics.

"Jarod," DuPuits turned to the tall, black man to his left. "How is the situation in your office?"

"Everything is calm. The decisions aren't mistrusted; Henry and Clark are happy that the CIA is in and the workload is dumped on Rangeman. They are strong believers in 'What you don't know won't hurt you'. I don't think we'll get any troubles from that side."

"Any news from the Department of Defense?" DuPuits obviously was in charge.

"Well, the consultant of the Minister of Defense still has this oh-so-naughty addiction that he just can't pry his hands away. I'm making sure he gets everything he needs." That was the third man who had been silent so far.

"What about the Minister's secretary?" DuPuits again.

"Martinez is taking care of her. She's so completely under his spell that she's telling him everything. He doesn't even have to ask," the man snorted.

"Martinez was a good catch. The moment I saw him at the Delta Force selection program I knew he'd be valuable for our cause." DuPuits turned to his right. "Jarod, any news from the surveillance of Rupert's secretary? Any special fondnesses? Known weaknesses? Money troubles or cases of illnesses within the family? Anything we can use to our advantage?"

"Her name is Ellen Baker. She's very loyal. Married. Two children; five grandchildren. No loans. So far everybody's healthy. I'm not sure how we could approach her."

"What about Fogger, DuPuits?" Jones asked.

"He'll be back in 2.5 weeks. Once he's stateside, he'll make contact and we'll meet."

"What happened to Williams?" the third man asked DuPuits.

"He had an accident."

That was met with silence. Nobody seemed troubled about that news.

"What about the IAs second in command?"

"Taken care of," DuPuits answered. "I'm waiting for the confirmation of her death."

T felt DuPuits' anger at the lack of communication from the assassin. He obviously wasn't aware yet that his assassin was long assassinated, T thought with a smirk.

The men continued through their golf game; but changed to unimportant small talk. T kept tabs on them while she looked down at her notebook.

**DuPuits -** which bureau? Located at Pentagon

**Jones - **DEA? Superior Marshall?

**Jarod -** Surename? FBI? What function? Superiors Henry and Clark? Surenames?

**DoD -** Who is the man in the Department of Defense? In close contact with Minister of Defense. Minister's consultant blackmailed. Who? Why? Drugs? Sex? Minister's secretary played by Martinez – active or former Delta Force? Part of grouping or just paid by DoD member of grouping?

**Rupert, CIA Deputy Director of Intelligence -** secretary Ellen Baker, surveyed by grouping for possible blackmailing

**Williams -** Accident! Who was he? Which bureau? Position?

She pushed the notebook over to Silvio who was totally preoccupied with his searches. Closing her eyes, T leaned back against her seat. She felt like they were about to open Pandora's box. Was it worth it? Not that they had a choice. Now that the stress was leaving her body, another wave of nausea was crashing over her and she barely managed to open the door of the Escalade and lean out before the dry-heaving began.

It was 04:40 when they all finally lugged themselves up the stairs to their bedrooms. The raid of DuPuits' secret computer room had been a full success. The alarm system had indeed changed; but Hector was right on top of it and brought them safely into the house. Then he proceeded to check on the planted bugs and to install some additional cameras that would show them any visitors coming and leaving. Meanwhile, Silvio worked wonders on the security systems of the computers and after two and a half hours he had the computers' hard drives copied on several portable hard drives he'd brought with him. At the same time, Ranger and Lester went through the paper files and made photos of them with the cameras they brought. When they left DuPuits' home and collected Agony, Rev, Zip and Zero from their surveillance points, no stone in the house was left unturned.

T felt deathly sick. As soon as she was in her bedroom, she rushed to the toilet to throw-up once more. Her arms and legs were trembling, her body ached, her head felt like splitting and the nausea was nearly unbearable. Somehow she maneuvered her body into the shower and the lukewarm spray instantly helped her to feel a bit better. She wanted to cry but she was too exhausted. It has never been as bad as today and it scared her. After she'd braided her damp hair in a lose ponytail and brushed her teeth, she took another long pull out of a fresh bottle of Blue. Crawling into her bed, she realized she was freezing. Her whole body was shaking with the chills; but her face and upper body were sweaty. Agony and Rev were already sleeping and she didn't want to wake them; but then the shaking got worse and the nausea came back full force. Breathing against the urge to become sick again, T grabbed her cell phone and opened a new email.

* * *

**Healy, Alaska, 23:00 hours, Bobby's POV**

Once more, I laid outside in my sleeping bag and watched the night sky. Technically there wasn't anything to watch tonight. It had become cloudy in the course of the evening and the temperature had dropped to 25°F. It was freezing but that didn't matter; the icy feeling kept me in the here and now. I had my Blackberry in the pocket of my hoodie and was hoping for an email from Esme.

The whole afternoon I had thought of her and how she was an enigma. Rubén had told me everything of her first ten years and it had broken my heart. What a good life I'd had in comparison to them both. I knew the scars on Rubén's body, every single one of them. The scars I had seen on Esme's body nearly a week ago had shaken me to the core. Many of them were similar, some even worse than Rubén's. What sick pervert had done that to her? Why didn't she let plastic surgeons take care of it? Not that they diminished her beauty. God, she's a beautiful woman. It was in her eyes, in her smile, in the way she moved and in the way she held her body with pride and self-assurance. Without my permission, my mind wandered to her naked breasts. She had beautiful breasts; but the right one was mangled and distorted by heavy scar tissue. If I should ever get hold of the sicko who did that to her, I swear I will kill him.

'When Grief brought me to the US, I was a mess. I had just survived hell; but as a result I was deaf and mute. I was afraid of the dark. I couldn't stand to be alone; but I also couldn't stand anyone else but Grief around me. I didn't know any English and could barely write in my mother tongue Portuguese.'

I had thought her scars were from an imprisonment in the course of her work for the Inferna Angelus; but her email sounded like it happened before she came to the US. She was twenty when I met her the first time and at that point she'd obviously been here for a while. What the fuck happened to her? She was so amazing. I couldn't even start to imagine how scary it had been for her to come here to this country. She must have been a teenager. Did she know Grief or was he a stranger to her? How did she manage to trust him? How had she learned our language being deaf-mute? How did she overcome her fears? How did she learn to trust people again? How did she manage to become such a carefree and positive person?

The questions circling in my mind made me dizzy.

I remembered that afternoon when Rubén and I cooked for her and she ran from us. The way she stood at the door later with Pain behind her, his hand on her shoulder. She looked so scared and lost. That afternoon something in me clicked and she became mine to take care after. It was in the way she trusted me and came with me. She was so scared; but she trusted me, **me!** What followed was one of the best afternoons of my life. Sure, we played with food. Something Rubén and I would normally never do; but seeing her losing her fear and enjoying herself was so worth it. Esme was laughing so hard she could barely breathe and man was her laughing infectious. The way the tears were running down her face and her body was contracting with her silent laughter.

Suddenly my face started to hurt and I realized I was smiling; broadly. Holding on to the picture of her literally rolling on the floor laughing with Rubén on top of her tickling her to the moon and back. I enjoyed the slight tugging I felt in my heart. It wasn't a hurtful tugging, on contrary. Watching them both had made my heart swell in my chest. I knew it was me who could bring them both out of the prisons their minds' tend to be sometimes. I wanted that back. I wanted them both back. But how? I felt so powerless; everything seemed insuperable.

Bowing to the coldness, I retreated to my room. How could I overcome my issues with Muerte? I thought while I stepped into the shower. Is Muerte actually the problem? I soaped up and stood under the hot spray wondering what my problem was exactly. Could I deal with Rubén and Esme becoming a couple and me being their friend? Was I angry with Esme for stealing my Rubén? No definitely not. For one, she hadn't stolen him – they were friends – and should it maybe happen one day, I swear I'll be happy for them. They had an understanding for each other I could never have. I envied Esme for being able to help Rubén where I couldn't. Was that the problem? That once more I was inadequate? The moment the thought of my inadequacy took form I felt a devastating despair crash over me. I had given everything for Rubén, had tried so hard to be enough for him, to help him, to get him to love me again; but even giving my best I wasn't enough, I wasn't worthy of his love. It was my childhood all over again. Without being able to stop it, my 6'3" frame sagged to the floor of the shower and I wept. There was so much hurt in me that suddenly it clawed at my heart. My sobs became more and more violent. That was it, right? All those years I gave my best; but my parents made me feel inadequate, not worthy of their love. Now, I'd given my best for Rubén but again I was inadequate, not worthy to be loved. It seemed my parents had been right all along and I'd been an idiot to think otherwise.

Hours later, the sound of a baby tiger roaring startled me out of a troubled sleep. One o'clock in the morning. What the fuck… The moment my brain got its bearings, my eyes shot open. That was the alarm for an email from Esme! Dazed I scrambled out of the bed and stumbled over to the table where I had left my Blackberry. Once back in bed I took a deep breath before opening the text.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 19 2012, 05:11  
Subject: I'm so scared

Dear Bobby,

I probably shouldn't write you an email each day. I'm probably annoying you; but I need someone to 'talk' to and you're safe. You are far away (I guess) and I can't see the judgment in your eyes. Also, the chance of you appearing on my doorstep with a club in your hand is more than unlikely. Have I said you are safe?

Seriously, the real reason is because I trust you. I like you a lot and while others easily evoke defiance in me, I've never had that feeling with you. This may sound stupid to your ears; but I hope you like me, too. I don't know. For some reason I feel insecure about that.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that right now I'm mortally scared and I hope that writing it down and sharing it with you will help me clear my mind. I think I'm ill. I constantly have a headache and I'm nauseated 24/7 and today I had to throw up several times. The scariest thing is that I've been running a constant fever for weeks. The others haven't noticed it cuz I'm always hot; but it's getting worse. Today Agony and Rev pressured me to tell them what's going on with me. They are sensing something is wrong. I'm scared that when I tell them, they'll bring me to a hospital. Bobby, I'm so scared of hospitals. What am I going to do? I know you can't understand my fears; but I just can't go there. It has something to do with Brazil and what happened there. I just can't; but everyday I'm feeling worse. Half an hour ago I had to dry-heave again and now I have the chills and at the same time, I'm sweating. What if they will keep me in the hospital? I wouldn't survive having to stay there. What if something is seriously wrong with me? I've never been ill in my whole life. I don't know how to deal with all this. I'm so scared, Bobby. If something is wrong with me it will scare Pain and he's ill himself. He needs to rest and not worry about the problems I'm always causing. It will scare Agony and Rev and they've already been through so much because of me. Then there's Furor, Rage, V and I don't want to scare them either because they are my family. I can't do that to them.

Please, don't feel like you have to answer cuz I'm not expecting that you will respond. I just needed to talk to someone and as I said, you are safe. I hope you are well and enjoying your time. Take good care of yourself.

Your slightly choked up friend who nevertheless sends you a smile,

Esme

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I couldn't believe it. Why the fuck was Rubén not with her? How many weeks, exactly? How could we not notice? Why did Carmen not notice anything? Oh Esme, why didn't you talk to me earlier? Fuck! And now I'm four-thousand miles away. How could she think that she's annoying me? My sweet darling angel – of course she didn't expect an answer. I bet she didn't expect anybody ever doing anything for her. Fuck! All those motherfuckers who had hurt her in the past; who had given her the feeling she's worthless. I could kill them.

I felt pure, undiluted anger coursing through my veins and I wanted nothing more than to pull Esme into my arms and hold her tight. She surely would start to cry, she tended to do that, and I would hold her until she was finished. Then, I'd dry her tears and we'd plan out how to deal with the situation. I needed to do the best I could from the distance. The way the email was written – she sounded like a small child. Rubén had been right; whatever happened in Brazil, she was severely traumatized.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 19 2012, 02:37  
Subject: I'm here for you

My brave Esme,

have I ever told you how much in awe I am of you? Obviously not 'cause otherwise you wouldn't have all those doubts in you.

1: You are not now or ever annoying me. Your emails mean so much to me. Please send them whenever you want, several per day. You even have your own alarm-tone. It's the roaring of a little baby tiger. It makes me think of you in a very, very positive way.

2: I will always be safe for you; whether I'm thousands of miles away or standing right in front of you. You will never find any judgment in me and surely I'll never appear with a club in my hand on your doorstep. Well, I might; but only because there'd be a bad guy threatening you. Esme, my sweetheart, whatever troubles you I'll always be there for you! Never, ever doubt that.

3: You don't know what it means to me to read that you still trust me - after everything I've done (abandoning you and so on). You don't sound stupid when you tell me that you like me. I love hearing that from you. I like you, too. More than that – I love you as one of the best friends I've ever had in my whole life. Right now, I wish nothing more than to be with you, holding you in my arms and consoling you while you struggle.

Which leads me to your scare.

The only way to conquer your fear of having a serious illness is to visit a doctor and get answers. Honestly, I could live with the headaches and nausea. Considering the amount of work you pack away, the lack of sleep and nutrition, it's understandable that your body is sounding an all bells alarm. Esme, the fever and repeated throwing-up is what has me alarmed. Fever is always revealing of something majorly wrong and due to the throwing-up your body loses fluid. When it becomes too much for your body to handle, your arms and legs start to shake and you feel weak and dizzy. Should that happen, you'll need an IV with fluid to replenish what your body needs to function properly.

Please, please, Esme, I beg of you to go see a doctor. You mean too much to me and it hurts me to hear you are suffering. The hospital may keep you there for observation; but your brothers won't leave your side and I'm pretty sure half of Rangeman will be there, too. Remember Princeton?

Sweetheart, I promise you from the bottom of my heart, we will discuss what the doctors find and make plans on how to deal with it should it come to that point. I'll be at your side every step of the way. No discussions! I will be with you through this. You have my word.

Esme, your family is already worried. Every day that passes without them knowing what is wrong, causes them to become more upset. Talk to them. They love you more than anything else in the world. The moment you have a diagnosis, they'll be able to make plans. Believe me, as a man, when I say they'll feel so much better when they know the enemy and can plan a strategy to defeat him.

BUT, so far we don't know whether something is seriously wrong at all. Perhaps you suffer through all this fear for something perfectly harmless that can be treated with some pills, sleep and regular food… wouldn't it be nice to know that?

Please talk to someone, Sweetheart. I can call Agony or Rev for you and explain your fears to them from a medical standpoint. Also, I can just as easily come home to be at your side, will you tell me please? I admit it feels good to be away from everything for a while; but right now you are more important to me than anything else in my life. I can be on the next plane home to you. Please Sweetheart, be honest with me and tell me what you want.

BTW, I am in Healy, Alaska right at the Denali National State Park. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, Esme. I hope that one day you will allow me to bring you here. I'm sure you'd love it.

Please email me soon and let me know what you decide.

Love from your friend who just realized how much he misses you,

Bobby

* * *

T looked shocked at the display of her smartphone. Bobby had answered. Suddenly, the world started to tilt over. T stumbled out of her bed to get to Agony and Rev; but fell down on her knees. The room was spinning around her and a new attack of dry-heaves wracked her body right on the floor next to her bed. Somehow she managed to call up Rev's contact details and touched the connect button. Within half a minute Agony and Rev rushed into the room.

"SHIT!" Agony pulled her up and quickly carried her into the bathroom where he sat her down next to the toilet and held her as she continued to be sick. When T was finally finished, he helped her up; but she was no longer able to carry herself.

"Rev," he called out, "I need you man." Immediately Rev appeared in the doorway. He had cleaned up the little sick that was on the floor. "Can you hold her upright while I help her to clean up?" Agony asked him.

"Of course." With two long strides he was next to them. "Hey Angel. Don't be scared, do you hear me? Everything will be fine." He signed to her before he gently pulled her into his arms and held her body weight while Agony washed her face and helped her brush her teeth. Afterward, they brought her downstairs in their bedroom and placed her between them on the bed.

"Angelito, mi querida, please talk to us." Agony begged. He was long passed worried. Seeing his little angel suffer was killing him.

T no longer had the strength to lift her arms to sign so she simply pushed her cell phone over to him.

"What Angelito? You want me to look at that?" Agony questioned her.

T nodded.

Agony helplessly looked at the phone. The last action had been calling Rev's number. Suddenly, he felt T's hand on his stomach. She was writing something. Agony concentrated. 'Email'

Within seconds, he had opened the inbox of her email-program. An email from Bobby was at the top.

"You want me to read Bobby's email?"

T nodded again but the movement was barely perceptible. Exhaustion was pulling her under and she felt the darkness rapidly closing in on her. Through the fog in her mind, she was aware of Agony reading the email and getting pale before she thankfully welcomed the darkness and went limp in Rev's arms.

"Fuck!" Agony cussed.

"What's wrong man?"

Instead of answering, Agony signed his partner to be still. He had T's cell on his ear and apparently waited for someone to answer. "V man, we have an emergency with T. Where are you? Good, we'll meet you at the bay to the Emergency Room in thirty."

Rev was already out of bed and putting on clothes. "I'll wake up Ranger and tell him what's happening."

Within seconds, Agony was dressed and pulled one of his hoodies over T's limp form. From the bench at the end of their bed, he took a snugly blanket and gently wrapped her up in it. Just when he came down the stairs with T cradled against his chest, Rev emerged from the nearest guest room with Ranger hot on his heels. Ranger looked worried as he saw T limp in Agony's arms and vanished in the other guest room.

"Come on, let's go. Ranger will wake up his men and they'll meet up with us at the ER.


	30. Chapter 30 Poisoned

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

_**A/N: Please be aware that this is a story produced in my own personal LaLa-Land. In reality a poison needs to be dialyzable to make a dialysis reasonable. Plus it wouldn't make sense to put the patient on fluid bags just to have them flushed out again with the dialysis. BUT, this is LaLa-Land and in LaLa-Land everything goes! :-)**_

* * *

**Chapter 30 – Poisoned**

**Walter Reed Hospital, DC, three hours after T's committal**

The doors to the waiting area crashed open as Furor and Rage busted into the ER. Their faces were grim, their movements aggressive. The people around them shrunk into their chairs avoiding eye contact.

"Where is she?" Furor hollered in a panic before he'd even crossed half the room.

"Calm down man," Rev prompted him. "I've just gotten Agony back under control. He totally lost it."

Furor looked over at Agony who sat in a chair, holding his head in his hands, not even acknowledging them. Wordlessly, he went over and crouched down in front of him.

"Listen man," Furor put one of his hands in Agony's hair and rubbed his head. "Whatever's wrong with our little Angel; we'll deal with it. She'll be fine. If it has anything to do with our job, then we'll stop this fucking shit, move to a sunny island and start living the good life. Got that, amigo?"

Without looking up, Agony nodded his head.

"Good. I'll go backstage and see what I can find out. You take good care of Shazam." Furor put a plush tiger into Agony's lap. It was the stuffed animal Bobby had bought for her when T was in Princeton. "I thought she'd love to have him with her. Watcha think?"

Finally, Agony straightened up in his chair. He sniffed, rubbed his eyes, took the tiger and hugged it close to his broad chest. "Good call man," he said with a hint of smile. Grabbing Agony's hair and giving him a final gentle shake, Furor straightened up and turned to Rev.

"Any news from V?"

"No, he's backstage with her. We haven't seen him since we arrived here."

"OK, I'll go and try to find out the verdict. Rage, you are in charge here." Pulling out his medic paperwork, Furor went over to the information desk and shortly afterward vanished through the doors to the treatment area.

Half an hour later V came back to the waiting area. His brothers as well as Ranger and his men immediately stood and went over to him.

"They got her stabilized. She seems to have been poisoned; her blood work is all over the place," V said before taking the bottle of water Rev offered him and emptying it in three big gulps. "So far they can't determine what poison; but it seems that it had been administered over a longer period of time. For the time being, they put her on dialysis. It will relieve her kidneys and help wash her blood of any toxins. She was also severely dehydrated. The docs put her on several bags of fluids and nutrients. The constant headaches, the vomiting, the increased emotionality; it was all because of the amount of poison was consistently increasing in her system and none of us got it. Fuck!" V let his head hang.

"Pain?" Rage asked.

"He's with her as is Furor. They won't let anyone else in to see her, I'm sorry," V said as he put his hand on Agony's shoulder and squeezed. He knew how much his friend wanted to be with their little sister.

Ranger pulled his phone from the clip on his cargoes. "Tank, get Manny and his team together and have them check every grocery item in the building – and I mean **every**; include those in the apartments, as well … T got poisoned and we need to find the source … No, no word to anybody in case the culprit is an employee." Looking back at the IAs in front of him he didn't even try to hide the anger he felt. "If it's one of our employees, we'll find him!" Lester nodded.

Stepping out of the hospital, Agony pulled T's phone out of one of his cargo pockets. He pulled up Bobby's contact details and once more touched 'dial'.

"Bobby, this is Agony … Yeah, V just came back … She's been poisoned … We don't know man … No, Ranger ordered Tank to check everything at your company. So far that's our only lead … She's on dialysis right now … I'll tell her; I'm sure she'll write you as soon as she can. Bobby? … Take good care of yourself; Esme needs you."

* * *

**Trenton, a few hours later**

"OK men. Let's see what we have here." Ranger stood in front of his men in one of the briefing rooms on five. Terror would stay three more days at Walter Reed hospital for treatment before returning to Trenton. By the time T returned, Ranger wanted to have as many answers as possible. A projector was producing her notes from their surveillance afternoon on the wall behind him.

**DuPuits -** which bureau? Located at Pentagon

**Jones -** DEA? Superior Marshall?

**Jarod -** Surename? FBI? What function? Superiors Henry and Clark? Surenames?

**DoD -** Who is man in the Department of Defense? In close contact with Minister of Defense. Minister's consultant blackmailed. Who? Why? Drugs? Sex? Minister's secretary played by Martinez – active or former Delta Force? Part of grouping or just paid by DoD member of grouping?

**Rupert, CIA Deputy Director of Intelligence -** secretary Allen Baker, surveyed by grouping for possible blackmailing

**Williams -** accident! Who was he? Which bureau? Position?

"Woody, this is your baby. Take whoever you need and get me answers. Regarding DuPuits – I know you haven't found him so far. Dig deeper. He must be listed somewhere. Sad, Vince, Knock and Scotch, you will join Zip and Zero in DC. They are waiting for you at Great Falls. Find me the consultant who's getting blackmailed and find out what exactly is his weak point. Perhaps that will lead us to who is blackmailing him. Get me pictures of that Martinez. Provided that is finished and you have time, I also want pictures of that Ellen Baker and her direct family. Perhaps it'll be necessary to put a security detail on them. Woody, check the Delta Force database for this Martinez. Find him. Silvio has offered to stay for the time being to help you if needed. Find out who Williams was. He could be the voice T heard on the phone with DuPuits when she listened in on him. Questions?"

That was met with silence.

Ranger looked at each of his men, making sure he had their attention. "Men, we are about to open Pandora's box. I'm not sure where all this will lead us; but it's guaranteed to get ugly. Be vigilant, be prepared and always move in pairs. I don't want to see any of you in the morgue. Let's get on this. Dismissed."

* * *

_**A/N: Quilter Girl wrote in her review that she wondered why listening to Ranger made T have such a strong reaction. In case anybody else wonders also here the explenation: She's never openly confirmed it; but we can be sure that T was raped in her past. Combined with the scars marring her body and her deep understanding for what Rubén has been through, we can assume that she made similar experiences. Saying that, imagine your sexual experiences consist of being brutaly raped. The man or worse men hurt you horribly and while doing that they sweat, groaned, grunted etc. ... memories like that often cause flashbacks in the victims when they are confronted with them in their present life - no matter how long the horrors are gone. That's why T is reacting this way - anything regarding sex is scaring her; her only memories are those of torture and rape. The fact that Ranger and his handler had been going at it hard and rough just made it worse. I hope this helps and I would be very, very happy if you could leave a review - I cherish them.**_


	31. Chapter 31 Discovering NISE

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

_**A/N: Just a little reminder again that this is a LaLa-Land production. The persons Helms, Johnson, Nixon are real and I tried to be correct about the historical data; but DuPuits, NISE and everything around them never really existed.**_

* * *

**Chapter 31 – Discovering NISE**

**Walter Reed Hospital, DC, day two of T's hospital stay**

Agony gazed down at T who laid in the bed looking positively wretched. "We need to tell him, Angelito. Sooner or later he'll ask. We can't risk that, considering we have no clue who's listening in on our cell phones."

T wiped the stray tear away and sniffed. She didn't want Bobby to learn about it this way and especially from somebody other than her. The bed dipped as Agony sat next to her lovingly caressing her hair and face. "It's better this way, mi pequena. He will understand why it couldn't be you who told him." He quickly caught another tear before he pressed a gentle kiss on T's forehead.

A few minutes later Agony stood outside the hospital's back-entrance and typed the number of the Denali Lakeview Inn into their sat-phone. Ranger had localized Bobby's cell phone signal there while he was texting T earlier.

"Bobby, this is Agony again."

"What's wrong? Why are you calling the hotel? Is anything wrong with Esme?" Bobby instantly felt frantic.

"No, she's fine. Don't worry. Listen, the reason I'm calling is Rubén. We thought that sooner or later you'd ask about him and we can't chance that happening on an unsecured line. Most probably all our cell phones are tapped and we can't risk anybody finding out where he is located."

"What do you mean? What the fuck is going on over there?"

"He's at Cedar Creek, Bobby. After you left the mansion, we went up to Esme's room and found him totally unresponsive. Esme just wept that he was gone. I called Ranger and then he called Dr. Thompson to update him on the situation. When Dr. Thompson called me, we all agreed to get Rubén prepared for the transport to Cedar Creek. We left the same night and arrived at Cedar Creek early the next morning. He's been there ever since."

For long moments there was just silence while Bobby processed that. "How is he?" he asked after a minute.

"No changes; still unresponsive. Esme says it's like four years ago when you brought him there for the first time. I'm sorry, man. He has a new doctor, Dr. Garvey. He's very nice and doing his best, former military himself. Esme likes him very much. Furor talks to the Doc every night using the same sat-phone I'm using at the moment. Rubén's safe and receiving excellent care. We don't know whether your cell is also tapped so don't mention his name in any phone calls or emails and don't try to make contact with Dr. Garvey. Got that?"

Bobby felt like he was just short of tilting and going under. After a minute, he got his bearings. "Yeah, I understand. I can't believe we both left her alone," he whispered his voice heavy with guilt and disbelief. "She must have been devastated and we both left her. Fuck," he sniffed. "I didn't know, Agony. Otherwise, I'd never have left Esme."

"Listen Bobby. Calm down. Everything's fine. It certainly wasn't perfect; but nobody can change what happened. It doesn't make sense to work yourself up over something long terminated. We picked Esme up and helped her through it; that's what our family does for each other. She's very sorry that you have to find out this way. Although, I know that she's anxious to hear from you. She worries about you. So once you got your bearings, please write her a short note telling her that you are fine; but remember not to mention Rubén's name."

After he'd ended the call, Agony typed in another number.

"Cooky? This is Agony … Yeah, just talked to him … OK, Ranger will check in with you every night."

On his way back into the hospital, Agony couldn't help but grin. Cooky could pass as Tank's twin. He's 6'6", black as the night, broad as a closet, muscles over muscle and a former SEAL. How he could be named Cooky was an enigma. Cooky was in charge of the security detail for Rubén. Ranger had already talked to him about telling Bobby what happened with Rubén. From this point forward, they'd be extra vigilant just in case his phone call to Bobby was somehow intercepted.

* * *

**Trenton, that evening**

"Yo," Ranger answered his ringing phone. It was nine p.m. and he and Tank were on surveillance.

"Bossman, I have him," Woody was positively bouncing barely able to control himself.

"Have who, Woody?"

"DuPuits! I found Mr. fucking DuPuits!"

"Be there in ten," Ranger disconnected. "Woody found DuPuits. It's time Tank. My beast is roaring for some action." Tank flashed his white teeth as his only response. Yeah, it was time their beasts got some action.

Ten minutes later they stood in the communications room on five. It was high tech at its best. Hung on the main wall were three huge screens like the ones you'd see in movies. In addition, there were four work stations each with three wide screen monitors. Woody sat at one of them and Silvio at another. With a few clicks on his keyboard, the huge wall screens flashed into action and showed pictures of DuPuits with several other men, a vitae and newspaper articles.

"OK, here we go," Woody spoke up. This was his realm. He'd always loved to surf the net. He had an uncanny ability to know where to dig up information no one else could find. He was one of the best in the business; but paired up with Silvio's hacking skills - they were an unstoppable force.

"We have to go back in history to get the full impact," Woody looked at Ranger and Tank before he turned back to the screens. "In 1963, one Richard M. Helms oversaw the coup to overthrow President Ngo Dinh Diem in Vietnam." Woody typed away on his keyboard and zoomed in on one of the newspaper articles on the right screen plus a picture of a man in Army fatigues. Ranger and Tank hurried to skim over the text.

"Three years later, in 1966, Helms, who had worked his way up through the ranks, became Director of the CIA." Another article zoomed in, showing President Lyndon B. Johnson shaking hands with Helms and a short announcement of Helms inauguration.

"Two years afterward, in 1968, with the full support of President Johnson, a secret grouping was founded under the auspices of Director Helms to conduct assignments outside the SOG's feasibility. They named themselves National Intelligence & Security Enforcement – NISE – and recruited their members out of the ranks of the SOG. An independent fund was built and achieved immediate accreditation from the President. A decision was made that NISE wouldn't have to account for the use of its money. President Johnson unconditionally supported Helms in his decisions." Ranger and Tank stared at the picture of Helms and Johnson. Where the fuck was Woody going with this?

"Helms knew DuPuits from his time in Vietnam. DuPuits was barely twenty back then; but had an incredible tactical talent that Helms used to his advantage." Another picture flashed on the screen showing a young DuPuits in Army fatigues standing front and center in a group of soldiers; Helms stood next to him. "Once back stateside Helms became DuPuits' mentor and arranged for DuPuits to be trained by the best CIA tacticians at the time. Once NISE was rolling, Helms called in DuPuits. At age 25, he became Helms' main tactician and right hand man.

After the Watergate scandal, from which Helms could distance the CIA, the Agency was under much tighter scrutiny by Congress. It didn't take long before NISE was discovered and its existence terminated. However, it never stopped 'being'. Somehow by chance the funds remained undiscovered and NISE kept up their work without any outside knowledge - hence no one scrutinizing their every move. The operatives got covers showing them as civilians; while in truth, they continued to work for NISE. In 1973, President Nixon fired Helms as Director of Central Intelligence for his refusal to block the investigation regarding the Watergate scandal. As a result, DuPuits became the head of NISE, who still operated secretly.

James R. Schlesinger became the new DCI and the group had to keep a low profile for the next few years. However, soon enough they started growing again. Today, they have about fifty operatives in constant deployment. DuPuits is still head of NISE; but he's brought two other men on board that nobody has ever seen in person. The second tier of NISE is built of seven men, all from various security branches. They provide DuPuits with inside information and run interference within their corresponding bureaus when needed. Anyway, after Helms' departure, the knowledge about the grouping remained solely in the hands of the Directors of National Clandestine Service and has been kept secret ever since. NISE is still there, still working and nobody above the D/NCS knows anything about them." Woody stopped and rejoiced in the silence that was filling the room. Ranger and Tank stood with their mouths agape in front of the monitor wall.

"How is that possible?" Ranger turned to Woody who shrugged.

"Luck and a great tactical mind. Every 'employee' of NISE has either a civilian job or another official position within the different bureaus or agencies. NOBODY knows about NISE or their involvements. It's the perfect solution for the D/NCS. Whenever his hands are tied, he can fall back on NISE and nobody will ever know that the CIA was involved after all. Officially, DuPuits retired in 2008 as an employee of the Clandestine HUMINT division and is now offering his services as counselor; which by the way bought him the office in the Pentagon."

"He's fucking the government directly under their nose," Tank growled.

"There's more," Woody looked at them and got raised eyebrows as a response. "I took a look at Rodríguez' personnel records." Both of Ranger's eyebrows vanished into his hairline. "Not the one you have, Bossman; the original one before it became blue-penciled and eventually vanished in DuPuits' desk."

"What the Fuck!" Ranger pulled a chair over and sat down. He hadn't been aware that Rodríguez' file was an altered one. Why the fuck had someone messed with Rodríguez' records in the first place? And what had DuPuits to do with all that? He heard Woody typing away at his computer. In the next moment, the newspaper articles on the wall screen were replaced with the front page of a pdf-file and a picture of Rodríguez at age twenty-seven according to a time-stamp.

"This is Rodríguez' complete original personnel file until twelve years ago when he became part of NISE," Woody said quietly before biting his lip. He hated to reveal this about his friend. None of them knew about this and Rodríguez himself couldn't remember.

Ranger and Tank slammed their blank faces down. "You sure he was a member of them?" Ranger asked quietly.

"Positive. I had trouble believing it myself; nevertheless there's no doubt. **But**, he didn't know what he was getting into when the position was offered to him. The file and my source are confirming that fact. DuPuits somehow tricked him. When you enlisted you learned Rodríguez was DEVGRU, correct?"

Ranger and Tank nodded; they'd been nineteen back then, fresh from the streets. Rodríguez was 24 and became their role model.

"At that point, his DEVGRU time had already ended the year prior. The file says it all. He'd been the best DEVGRU operator the Navy ever had, famous for his commando work. The CIA's Special Activities Division, SAD, contracted him regularly for various missions. At the earliest possible date, when he became twenty-three, the recruiters of SAD enticed him away from the Navy. His records were altered and officially he remained in the Navy. In truth, he went through the Clandestine Service Trainee program and got discovered by DuPuits. Without Rodríguez' knowledge, DuPuits ensured that he got training far beyond even the CST program. With the combination of his extensive commando skills and his enhanced intelligence training, Rodríguez became the best SOG key operative the Special Activities Division had ever seen. DuPuits regularly borrowed him from SAD and four years later, when Rodríguez was twenty-seven, DuPuits somehow convinced him to come aboard NISE. That's when Rodríguez' 'official' records end."

"I can't believe it," Tank said quietly. "He was a fucking CIA Paramilitary Operations Officer with SAD and he let us believe he was DEVGRU." Tank knew he had no right to be angry. That information was more than top secret and Rodríguez had not been allowed to talk about it; but that didn't ease the feeling of betrayal. Who was the man he once called his friend? Was anything about him real? For a moment Tank wondered whether Bobby had known.

"Perhaps Rodríguez found out about the doings of NISE and that was the reason DuPuits decided to eliminate him," Woody said quietly. "My guess is, should we find Rodríguez' personnel records of the last twelve years, we'll have everything we need to bring NISE and DuPuits down."

"How did you come across all this information, Woody? Who is your source?" Ranger didn't want to question the truth of what Woody had presented them. On contrary, this information was so top secret that he worried about his employee's safety.

"I don't know his name; he's like my own 'Deep Throat'. I asked and got an encrypted email with the basic data plus Rodríguez' file. He knew Rodríguez is alive; so he has to be high up in the ranks. I followed up with one phone call to determine details. The rest was plain research."

"Woody, this…," Ranger didn't know how to word his concern.

"I know," Woody looked straight into Ranger's eyes. "Rodríguez is my friend. I did it for him and for T. They are good for each other; she can help him find his way out of the prison in his mind. They deserve to have a chance together. Although, I am counting on you to bail me out once Homeland Security puts me through the hoops," Woody smiled slightly.

"You won't leave this building without at least two men at your side and I will immediately call our attorneys so they can prepare themselves - just as a precaution." Ranger as well as everybody else in the room knew that there was no 'bailing out' once Homeland Security had their hands on him. Woody had willingly risked lifelong imprisonment to get them the information they so desperately needed.

"Boss, I was the only one who looked at Rodríguez' file; Silvio left the room while I was reading it. I burned it on this CD and will now delete every trace of it from our system. Silvio will double-check afterward for assurance. Nobody at Rangeman, besides the four of us, knows about this information or the existence of this CD. You won't like what's in it. It's good Rodríguez can't remember anything – I doubt he could deal with it."

Ranger took the CD from him and nodded his understanding. "Anything else?"

"No. Silvio and I just ordered some pizza. We'll keep searching for any information about the men in those pictures you brought home with you," he nodded to the screen in the middle. They were the pictures from the golf course.

* * *

_**A/N: In the next chapter we'll finally start with the fluff ... sigh ... it's about time :-)**_

_**Here is a little preview:**_

"How often has she written Bobby today?" Rage grinned.

Agony and Rev snorted and then grinned back. "Better count the hours without them sending emails back and forth. Today he's hiking and there's no cell reception in the Denali Park so there was no email since," Agony looked at his watch, "seven hours. Wow – and she's still alive," he smiled lovingly at T's limp form in his arms.

"I think they are cute," Rev said to him.


	32. Chapter 32 Moose, Shazam And A Jumble

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 32 – Moose, Shazam And A Jumble Of Feelings**

**Walter Reed Hospital, DC, day three of T's hospital stay**

"I still can't believe it was the Blue. We unknowingly poisoned her," Agony felt like shit. He was jointly responsible for having the one person he loved more than Rev laying in the hospital suffering after being poisoned. He had squished himself into the tiny hospital bed and held T while she slept. Finally, they knew what was going on with their Angel. An hour ago, the doctor came in and confirmed that it was the steady over consumption of her nutritive brain supplement that had slowly polluted T's system. To say they were shocked was an understatement. The team knew that T should only be drinking one glass of Blue per day; but none of them had ever thought a bit more could harm her. Then again, it wasn't just 'a bit' more. Recently, T had been guzzling up to nine bottles per day.

The doctors informed them that the formula compound in T's Blue contained particular mineral elements that, when consumed in excess, couldn't be effectively excreted. The concentration of minerals wreaked havoc in T's body. One after another, she exhibited many of the common symptoms of this type of overdose – the tremors, headaches, dizzy spells and nausea, to name a few. The IAs should have acted back then. They should have insisted on taking T to a doctor; but they didn't. When T started showing behavioral changes like nervousness and mood swings, the overdose had already reached a critical level. Again, the IAs failed to act. Far away in their subconsciousness, they knew something was wrong. They loved T so much; but because of her panic of doctors and anything medical, they ignored her symptoms and looked the other way. Now, they were all leaden with bone-crushing guilt and struggled not to blame each other.

How could this happen? How could the situation spiral so out of control?

The IAs traced it back to when T started having some really horrible headaches. Everyone attributed them to the constant mind strain T endured as a result of their arduous mission schedule. Furor searched the internet looking for a supplement that would help T and found the Blue. It helped, so T stuck to it; but instead of allowing herself some rest, she pushed her mind even harder. That was the beginning of a vicious cycle. First, T stuck to one bottle per day; but soon it was two 'cause the headaches naturally returned. Two bottles became three and what started as a sign of overexertion took on a life of its own. Due to the overdose of Blue, the headaches became even more frequent and nasty, so she drank more Blue. The result were more headaches and more Blue.

Bobby had been the one who had the idea of the Blue being the key and the doctors immediately jumped at it. The good news was that they didn't expect any lasting damage. The dialysis was doing its job and the rest would be done with a careful detox diet over the next six months. The doctors had warned them about the withdrawal symptoms T would suffer within the next few days. Great, as if T's life wasn't hard enough right now.

"Have you ever thought of opting out?" Rage asked out of the blue. With Pain retired, T out of commission and a mission that had them dragging themselves through DC's bog of corruption and murder, the IA were fighting with their conscience.

Agony and Rev looked at each other. "Yeah. Recently."

"What's holding you back?"

They both looked at Rage. "T, of course. We love her and will stick to her; but should she at one point decide to get out, we'll follow suit. Man, all this fucking corruption shit. We feel like puppets on strings. It's simply not worth risking our lives. I mean, don't you ever think about how nice it would be to just live the good life and not constantly fight for your survival?" Rev asked Rage.

"Sure. Though, I'm not sure I could deal with 'retiring'. I don't know any other life than this."

"I hear you and I'm proud to be an IA; I truly am. There's nothing more rewarding than saving a life and bringing them back to their families. This mission, however, gives me the feeling we are being played and not for the first time. Who knows how long we've been pawns in a bigger scheme." Agony sounded resigned.

"How often has she written Bobby today?" Rage grinned changing the subject.

Agony and Rev snorted and then grinned back. "Better to count the hours **without** them sending emails back and forth. Today he's hiking and there's no cell reception in the Denali Park. So, there's been no email for," Agony looked at his watch, "seven hours. Wow – and she's still alive," he smile lovingly at T's limp form in his arms.

"I think they are cute," Rev said to him.

Agony and Rage both lifted an eyebrow at him.

"What? It's not my fault that the two of you are insecure pussies. While I, on the other hand, **am** man enough to say the c-word."

Agony and Rage looked at each other and burst out laughing. "C-word? … Yeah, you're such a man, darling," Agony blurted between hiccups of laughter.

_I think he's cute,_ came a sleepy thought from T who was shaken awake from Agony's laughter. Of course, that had the two men roaring with even more laughter. Just when they were about to calm down, T's phone and the vibrating buzzer at her wrist announced a new email from Bobby. Instantly, the three men started to whoop and whistle rejoicing in the blush on her cheeks.

"We'll step out so you can answer him unhurriedly. Holler if you need us." Agony pressed a gentle kiss on her temple and rolled himself out of her bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 21 2012, 16:51  
Subject: Moose and I at Mount Healy

To my smart, sweet Angel,

Today was just … wow. Promise me right here and now that you'll let me bring you here one day. The Mount Healy trail was breathtakingly beautiful; but the view at the 3,425ft high overlook is beyond words. Moose and I sat down and for hours just enjoyed the monumental scenery; I attached some pictures for you.

I still can't believe you got me to talk with a pair of socks and a stuffed animal! Promise me that nobody will ever learn about that! Astonishingly, it did the work. Projecting my feelings and thoughts on the socks and Moose and then having them discussing it through, worked like magic. I immediately felt my stress level decrease. You are one of the smartest, most amazing women I know, Esme. Since I'm already spilling the beans – Moose and I had a talk about you and Shazam (big dopy grin). BTW, Moose says hello to the two of you (snicker). I still can't believe I'm doing this. Wait, I just 'snickered' - that alone shows that it's time to turn in my man-card.

But you know what? I don't care. Thanks for introducing me to that sentence. I didn't think 3 simple words would make such a difference in my life.

You are messed up, Brown – I don't care.  
While you are lying in a deck chair and reading crime thrillers, you aren't productive, Brown – I don't care.  
That pint of ice cream is full of trans-fats and sugar, Brown – I DON'T CARE!

(laughing hysterically)

Apparently, I didn't get enough O2 today thanks to the mountain air; but – yeah, you got that right – I don't care :-)

These past seven hours without contact were definitely way too long for us (yeah, I'm talking about Moose and me). We're addicted and need our regular Esme/Shazam fix. So tell me, how are my two tigers? I hope you are feeling even better than this morning. Remember, just one more night and the guys will bring you home! I'll jump into the shower now and dress up in my elegant sweats for another dinner in bed. Jeez, I can't believe this is really me.

Talk to ya later,

Bobby xox

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T couldn't help but laugh. She quickly looked at the pictures. They were indeed breathtaking. The last one had her grinning like crazy. It showed Bobby with his newly acquired plush moose, eloquently named Moose, on his lap and they were waving into the camera. Whoever took that pic must have had a good laugh. It felt good to see Bobby in such a good mood. They'd written each other **a lot** over the last three days and it did them both good. They shared a little of their heartache; but mostly they bantered like crazy. It helped them to forget their problems for a short while and with each bout of laughter they shared, they recharged their empty batteries. T sipped at the awful herbal tea on her bedside table and sat up to answer Bobby.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 21 2012, 21:05  
Subject: The devilish potion they call tea

Dear Mr. Brown,

As I may humbly remind you, that 'man-card' of yours was turned in that day in Princeton when you grabbed Shazam and danced the 'tiger-boogie' with him while there were witnesses! Nothing I can do about that one; you looked like you were from another planet, no, from a parallel universe. Personally, I found it c-u-t-e. Of course I will never say that aloud to preserve **your** manliness. Oh, and by the god of stuffed animals and the phone book of DC, I promise to not tell anybody about our stuffed buddies – except Agony and Rev; they are part of the gang. They have their own 'stuffers' so we'll keep this our secret and meet on the q.t. for group discussions. To be honest, the fact that you are laughing 'hysterically' has me more worried. As the obvious smarter part of the two of us, I recommend an unhealthy amount of either ice-cream or chocolate for dessert as counter agent for any possible brain damage due to lack of oxygen.

The pictures were indeed breathtaking. I'd really love to see that in person one day. Right now, I can't see when and how; but I'd love to go on vacation with you to learn about all the places you have been in your life. Promise! Imagine how great it must be to visit some place without having a maniacal killer after you?

At the moment, I'm sipping my way through one more mug of that devilish tea. I swear that stuff will kill me. Honestly Bobby, I don't know how I'm supposed to drink that for the next six months without throwing-up sooner or later. I already feel nauseated. Wait, that's why they are giving me that drug against nausea! I hate doctors. I so want to get outta here.

Esme,

Queen of animal talk and definitely at the wrong place

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 21 2012, 17:07  
Subject: ASAT - Anonymous Stuffed Animal Talkers

Dear misplaced Queen of animal talk,

I like the idea of us founding our own support group. Perhaps we can recruit other members. Hmmm, let's see, Tank gets an elephant to talk to or better yet, a mouse. Lester, oh, I definitely see with a chimp. What about Ranger? Hmmmm, difficult one. He **so** needs someone to talk with when he's having a tough day! What about a panther? Then your tiger and Ranger's panther can scratch their eyes out like their owners do. That'll be fun. Of course Moose and I will be shoulder to shoulder with you and Shazam! Ha, eat your heart out Ranger – you stand no chance against the four of us!

Regarding the tea – hang in there, my sweety. You need to drink that stuff to further detox your body. Feel yourself being hugged extra close by me. Did you try it with honey? I'm sure we'll find a way to make it acceptable. There are so many all natural flavors on the market that won't stress your system any further. Shall I talk to Furor? Please let me know how I can help you. I can't stand to hear that you are suffering.

Oh wait, there's someone at the door. Guess, that's my dinner.

Laters,

Bobby

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 21 2012, 21:09  
Subject: Picture for proof

You said you can't believe it's you who is dressing up in sweats for dinner in bed. Send me a picture as proof. I will show it to you whenever you are in doubt.

The master of discrete reminders (dangling the pic right in front of your nose) :-)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 21 2012, 17:15  
Subject: The proof

xox :-)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Esme opened the attachment and nearly choked. There on the bed, just in boxer briefs with a glorious naked upper body, sat Bobby grinning into the camera. Her heart's thumping accelerated and heat was rising in her cheeks as she stared at his body. When the door suddenly opened and Agony stepped in, Esme jumped and accidentally tossed the phone right at him. Reacting quickly he caught it and looked at the screen. His eyes widened and then a shit-eating grin spread over his face before he showed the cell to Rev who had entered behind him and instantly beamed.

_If you show that to anybody else, you'll be in a lot of pain._ Esme glared at them.

"We'd never do that and you know that." Agony and Rev sat down on her bed.

"So how about something naughty in return? I could try to get some nice lingerie for you and then we'll take a picture that will cause Bobby a sleepless night." Rev was positively glowing with enthusiasm.

T looked at him wide-eyed.

"Stop unsettling her," Agony frowned at his partner. He offered T his hand and she immediately started to play with his fingers. "Hey Angel, tell me what you want. I mean in your heart – what do you want to happen between Bobby and you?"

_What do you mean?_ T stared at their joined hands.

Agony put his finger under her chin and lifted her head until she looked at him. "I mean, Bobby and you have become great friends. Do you want to leave it at that? He's an honorable man and will accept that without a second thought. He would never pressure you for something else and would never want to make you uncomfortable. However, I think he'd like to explore what else besides friendship could be between the two of you." Agony put the stuffed tiger in her lap. "So what does Shazam think he wants to happen?" Ever since Grief brought her to the US, it had helped T to project her troubles and struggles onto her stuffed animals to help work through them. A psychologist had given Grief the tip. He had searched the internet for information and bought two therapy dolls for T. It had been a full success from their first try.

T took Shazam and hugged him close.

_What about Rubén and Muerte?_

"What about them?" Rev asked. "Angel, you and Bobby both love them in different capacities; but Rubén is very ill and it will take some time before he'll be able to enter into a relationship, if ever. We're not saying that you and Bobby marry and live a 'Fairy Tale Happy Ending;' but why shouldn't the two of you console and help each other. You are both hurt and lonesome. You could both use some tender loving care. By being there for each other, you'd also take a lot of pressure from your expectations regarding Rubén and Muerte. Think of it."

Agony and Rev remained silent, knowing it would take T some time to process the emotional jumble going on in her head. Ten minutes later, she sighed and they could see heat rising in her cheeks.

_I think Shazam would like for Bobby to be here and_ … she hesitated and bit her lip … _to kiss me._

Agony and Rev's beaming could have lit the whole hospital. They both squished into her bed and nearly smothered her with their hugs.

"Then I'd say we should work on a payback that will leave him sleepless and drooling," the two men high fived over T's body.

An hour later, Bobby's phone tiger-roared. Finally! He'd started to feel a little uneasy whether he'd perhaps overstepped Esme's boundaries with the picture. Quickly he pulled up the email program.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 21 2012, 22:35  
Subject: G'night

Thought I'd say goodnight and wish you sweet dreams before I called it a night.

xox Esme

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bobby frowned and then saw that there was an email-attachment. Did she return his picture? A few seconds later he was staring, in wide-eyed amazement, at the artfully naked backside of Esme. She had a sheet draped over her arms in a Roman way. It disguised her legs and the lower half of her tush; but the upper half and her whole back were naked. Her hair was softly cascading down her back and she looked over her shoulder into the camera in a way that made Bobby's heart drum. Whoever had taken the picture had managed to put a slight fog around her, making her look all soft like a goddess. Bobby instantly felt himself getting hard.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 21 2012, 18:39  
Subject: Good night, indeed

To my breathtakingly beautiful Esme,

You are a very naughty woman, getting me all hot and bothered.

Sleep tight my sweetheart and sweet dreams.

Bobby xox


	33. Chapter 33 - Love You, Bobby

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 33 – Love You, Bobby**

The next morning, Hal was manning the front desk when two men entered the building. Both men were around 6'2" and from the way they carried themselves, you could tell they were definitely military. However, even though they gave off a 'servicemen vibe', they looked downright menacing. One had a very short buzz cut and several facial tattoos. The other had a single, braided, shoulder long ponytail that grew dead center out of the left side of his otherwise shaved head. When they approached the desk, both flashed a brilliant smile in stark contrast to their otherwise threatening appearance.

"CP," the man with the facial tattoos motioned to himself, "and Button," he pointed to the man with the ponytail. "We are here to meet with T."

Hal recalled an earlier meeting where Ranger announced the eventual arrival of two men. He quickly picked up the phone and dialed Tank's extension. "Boss, T's visitors are here … Understood." Hal turned to the two men who were piercing him with their stares. "Tank will be down in a minute. He's one of the partners and will explain the situation."

CP and Button frowned. What situation? They were here to meet their little Angel. A minute later the elevator opened and a hulk of a man stepped into the lobby.

"Gentlemen, my name is Tank. Follow me up to the fourth floor and we can talk in private." Without waiting for any acknowledgment, Tank turned and walked back into the elevator. CP and Button looked at each other. T was right – the Rangemen had no manners.

The two of them were sitting in the break room with some coffee and sandwiches when there was suddenly a commotion on the command floor. The prior silence had amplified into a loud buzzing of voices. The elevator pinged and after a moment there was a cacophony of clapping, whoops and whistles. Curious, CP and Button made their way to the door of the break room just in time to see T being passed around for hugs.

"So this is why you called us? To watch you making out with every employee of this company?" Button thundered over the noise of the Rangemen. Every man turned, bristled and glared at the two foreigners who dared to offend their 'Bossgirl'. Button and CP stood there feet shoulder's width apart, hands stemmed at their hips and looking all menacing. To the Rangemen's complete surprise, T took a running start and hurled herself at the ponytail-man before jumping into the waiting arms of Mr. Facial Tattoo.

"Hey Angel, why did we have to hear about you poisoning yourself? Haven't you had enough action lately?" CP smiled brightly at her.

"Yeah, why didn't you call us earlier? We are always ready for some action," Button waggled his eyebrows at her. T rolled her eyes and swatted at Button. "As if," she signed excited to have her old friends by her side.

Half an hour later the mission team, including CP and Button, either sat or stood in the communication room on five.

"OK you wimps. Your lazy days are over; time to get your asses up'n moving," T signed with a grin. "I want you to meet two very good friends who will help us on the upcoming mission. They are both IAs with two other teams, both former Para-Rescue Jumpers. Oh, and I saved both their sorry asses earning me their well-deserved lifelong devotion. Please meet CP and Button."

After introductions were made, Ranger spoke up, "Thanks to Woody and his crew, we have a ton of new information. Please take notes cuz I didn't have time to prepare a summary for you." The men all grabbed something to write and settled in to record the new intel.

"The grouping we are after calls themselves NISE – National Intelligence and Security Enforcement. They originated in the 60's and were subordinated to the CIA's Special Operations Group. NISE sees themselves as enforcers for the government's existing intelligence and security branches. Due to political changes, however, they operate without official knowledge or permission from any agency. No longer under any governmental supervision, their funding and ethical principles are questionable. The head of NISE is Gerard DuPuits, officially retired from the Clandestine HUMINT division." Woody pointed out a picture Zip had taken of DuPuits yesterday.

"There are two more men manning NISE's board; but presently, we neither have names nor other personal information about them. The second row of NISE consists theoretically of seven men. Three of them we could identify. Darian Jones," Woody pointed at another picture, "is the personal assistant of the head of the DEA's Operation Division, Colby Marshall. Jarod Moore," Woody pointed at a picture of a tall, lean African American, "belongs to the FBI and is the Executive Assistant Director for the National Security Branch. His superiors are FBI Director Henry Young and Deputy Director Clark Green. The third man is Darnell Terrell," Woody pointed to the last picture. "Terrell is head of the National-Geospatial Intelligence Agency. We have reason to believe that with Terrell's help NISE is blackmailing the Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence. As Zip and Zero could observe two days ago, the Under Secretary has a fondness for young, black boys – very young, black boys." Ranger's jaw was clenching as he listened. "Terrell organizes them for the Under Secretary and in exchange he will probably get information or perhaps he influences what the Secretary of Defense and therefore the President is told."

"Fuck!" Cal said into the silence of the room. That was it – Pandora's Box. They'd just lifted the lid without having even dug too far.

At that moment, Ranger's cell phone rang.

"Yo … send it to my phone. Good work." Ranger handed Woody his phone. "Sad thinks he got a picture of Martinez."

Woody looked at the cell's screen and a slow smile started to spread. "That's him Bossman. I know that face. I saw it in the Delta Force database but with a different name."

Ranger nodded to the big screen and Woody produced the picture from the cell to the screen.

"This man," Ranger pointed to the screen behind him, "works for NISE. He is most probably one of their operatives. We know him by the name Martinez. He's giving the lover of one Maud Williamson, the private secretary of the Secretary of Defense. According to Terrell, she's slave to Martinez and very talkative even without an incentive."

The Rangemen were long past shocked silence. What the fuck were they uncovering? What wide repercussions would their findings have and could this total clusterfuck destabilize the United States Government?

"Furthermore, we know that Ellen Baker, the private secretary of CIA Deputy Director of Intelligence, Moses Rupert, is under tight surveillance by NISE. It seems that they are trying to find a way to blackmail her. Tank and I are discussing whether a security detail should be put on her and her family. At the moment, we are short the human resources; but most importantly, we can't risk anybody at NISE becoming aware of us investigating."

"How far will they go?" Ace asked, looking at the pictures of Ellen Baker and her family.

"We are positive that they killed one of their own men. Sean Williams, a former Special Agent with the FBI and recently a counselor at the NSA, had a fishing accident last week. DuPuits referred to that 'accident' at the meeting with Jones, Moore and Terrell."

After Ranger was finished, T stood up and went in front of the men. "Principally," she signed, "nothing has changed for us. We will continue our training the way we had before my time-out. We will start this afternoon 1530 hours at the compound. CP and Button will join us tomorrow. We can't afford to keep someone in DC to further follow DuPuits. Therefore, any investigation regarding him will have to wait. What hasn't changed is that I will go back in two weeks to find out about the meeting with Mr. Overseas. Any questions?"

"How is Pain?" Binkie asked.

"He's good so far. The doctors recommended that he enjoys life, takes a vacation and ties up loose ends. I told him to go and do whatever he wants to do and I sent V with him. I didn't want Pain to be alone out there. That's why CP and Button are here. They replace Bobby and V. One more thing before you go on your way, what I said at the beginning of this mission still stands. The stress level of this mission is constantly increasing. I expect you to come and talk to me with any of your doubts, troubles or anything at all concerning this assignment. Understood? Dismissed."

When T, Agony and Rev went to their apartment after the meeting was over, T felt exhausted. It was one p.m. so she had two and a half hours to recharge before she had to be at the training compound.

_I'm going to__ take a shower, guys._

When T re-emerged from the bathroom, the apartment was filled with smell of food.

_Ella was here Angel_, Rev answered her questioning look. _Ranger asked her to provide three light and nourishing meals per day plus a snack at night for you. She just dropped this off and said to let her know if you have any special requests._

T looked at them dumbfounded. _He can be such a nice guy if he wants. Why does he feel the need to be so fucking domineering and secretive?_

_I like Bobby's idea about giving him a plush panther and inviting him to our Anonymous Animal Talker support group. Maybe that will help him to open up_," Agony grinned broadly.

When T finally called it a day around eleven p.m., her headache and nausea were back full force and she dragged herself up to seven. The training at the compound had worked out much better than expected. Les and Ram had kept the Rangemen under fire while she was out of commission. After she sent all the men home, T stayed behind for an intensive shooting training. First Princeton, then Walter Reed, T could feel her skills dulling and she'd have to work hard to get honed again in the short time.

Once back at Rangeman, T sent someone for CP and Button. She gave them the shock of their lifetime by enlightening them about her slightly out of the box skillset. Her whole life long she had kept her abilities her secret and now she was forced to spill the beans and make herself vulnerable to so many people. The thought scared her.

For the last two hours, T sat with Woody and Silvio in the communication room discussing how to come across more information about NISE and who they had on the ground in Colombia. Silvio had just started to work his way through the data from DuPuits' private computers and was encountering the most complex encryption. She'd have to talk to Ranger tomorrow about a decoding expert.

Yawning she stepped into their apartment. Her team plus CP and Button sat on the couch watching TV. Upon her entry they looked at her with concern. T just shook her head no and vanished into the bedroom. She wanted to be alone. For a third time that day, she jumped into the shower. It was such a waste of limited resources; but she needed the comforting feeling of the warm water enclosing her.

Finally in bed she grabbed Shazam and her phone and fired up her email-program. Five missed emails from Bobby since they talked this morning. T grinned; she had missed him and his easy, funny way over the day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 08:45  
Subject: Crazy?

Is it crazy that I already miss you though we just talked five minutes ago?

Probably … maybe … a tad bit …

Yeah, yeah, it's totally fucked-up crazy; but it suits me – watcha think? :-))

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 10:00  
Subject: Turning heads

OK, I showered, shaved, put a perfectly dosed portion of mind-boggling Eau de Toilette on my groomed body (just so you get the picture), and went down to the dining room for breakfast. Let me tell ya, I looked good, I turned heads. I swear the genteel, older lady at the table next to mine was clicking her dentures at me.

See - I'm much sought-after within the 60+ crowd.

I'll leave for Fairbanks now … checking out the chicks there (wink)

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 13:23  
Subject: Proof!

Dear Miss Torres,

May I direct your attention to the attached picture showing me in a hot embrace with one of the local celebrities…

Please meet Agatha, 74 years old and winner of last November's Symphony Ball and honorary member of The Ballroom Dance Club of Fairbanks. Sweety, that woman had moves that made me blush ;-)

She invited us for this year's Symphony Ball; she'd take extra care that there are enough Latin beats for you. Oh and the argument that being deaf you couldn't hear the music, she wiped away by telling me they have a deaf-mute member in their dance club and he'd dance just fine. He could show you his moves – her words accompanied by a very suggesting hip movement. Just so you know, I don't like that idea.

How are you? I miss you!

Bobby xox

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 14:40  
Subject: Struggling

Hey Sweety,

I know I have no right to bombard you with emails; but … I'm missing you and that feeling in this magnitude is something new for me. Guess the last days of nearly constant texting have spoiled me and now I can't deal with being alone. Jeez, I sound like a crybaby.

Anyway, I just bought you a little present and will drive back to Healy now.

Talk to you soon,

Bobby

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 18:30  
Subject:

To my beautiful, smart, tenacious Esme,

I'm in awe of you!

On my drive back to Healy I started to get antsy. When I finally arrived here, I was downright tremulous. All I could think of was what I left behind and how I don't know how to get out of this shit. I couldn't breathe right, my hands were sweaty. I had a panic attack and it was frightening. What I've been through, the troubles I'm struggling with, are pitiful in comparison to what you've been through and are facing every day. How are you doing that? I feel so overwhelmed, so lost, so inadequate. Right now, in this moment, I wish so much that you were here and we could snuggle up and forget the world around us. Yeah, playing Ostrich with you sounds like a great idea.

Sorry for getting all emotional on you; but I thought if there's someone out there who could get me, it would be you. With every day that passes I realize more and more that I need a serious time-out and professional help to get through this.

Please send me a short note that you are OK. It's 22:30 in Trenton and I haven't heard from you all day; I'm worried.

Love,

Bobby

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T read the last email again and again, occasionally wiping away her tears. She had never been on the receiving end of such affection without it being based on brotherly feelings; or in Grief's and Ramiro's case – fatherly and uncle feelings. Hugging her stuffed tiger close, she listened into herself; but there was no fear, just affection in return. And the wish for Bobby to be here. Suddenly T wanted to be alone; really alone – not with the guys in the living room next door or Rev and Agony later in bed. Quickly she pulled on her sweats and a hoodie, grabbed Shazam and her phone and made her way out of the bedroom.

"I'll go upstairs to Bobby's," she signed to Agony who raised an eyebrow in return. "I just need to be alone."

Before she could leave the apartment, he was at her side and cupped her face. "Is everything alright, Angelito?"

"I'm OK. Really," T tried to appease him. "I just have a headache and I feel nauseated and I want to be alone, really alone, with Bobby," she waved her cell phone at Agony.

"OK," he smiled. "But let me get your supper and dessert and escort you upstairs. You haven't eaten yet."

Five minutes later they stood in front of Bobby's apartment door and T made quick work of the lock. Agony put her dinner into the microwave and made no move to leave.

"Agony, you're behaving like a mother-hen," T smiled at him.

"That's just cuz you behave like a chick," Agony smiled back and tapped her nose.

When the microwave dinged, he put the plate on the breakfast bar, searched the kitchen for a mug, poured T's herbal tea in it and then grabbed the chick herself placing her on a chair in front of the plate.

"Eat. Drink. Then write him. In case you decide to stay up here, I wish you a good night and sweet dreams; but Rev and I will miss you. Please come downstairs if you start to feel upset, OK." With that he pressed a kiss on T's temple and left.

Working her way through the plate, T fired up her cell again.

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To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 22 2012, 23:40  
Subject: B&E

To my struggling Bobby who I would love to take in my arms and console,

Thank you for all your emails, every single one of them. I just read them and they made me smile, laugh and cry.

Smile, cuz I can imagine your boyish grin when you wrote the first three. Let me tell ya, Mister: if you shower, shave and 'put a perfectly dosed portion of mind-boggling Eau de Toilette on your groomed body' for the 60+ generation, I'll expect the same and much, much more! Oh, AAAANNNDDD stop flirting and dancing with other women – regardless of how old and honorary they may be. I don't like that. Yeah, strictly speaking, I'm feeling mighty possessive at the moment! :-)

Laugh, cuz even though she's 74, you made poor Agatha nearly swoon with your charm. She made goo-goo eyes at you like a teenage girl. CUTE! I just hope Mr. Agatha wasn't nearby … hehehe

Cry, cuz I've never been sent so much affection that wasn't inspired by brotherly love, like I did from you these last few days. I'm not sure what is developing between us or whether it's a good idea; but (blush) I have to admit that the thoughts I get when I look at your half naked picture are scaring me a bit (blush even more). After all that's been said, every t's been crossed, every i has been dotted, the simple truth is that I miss you like crazy and that I wish for … (not brave enough to write it here)

Regarding your panic attack – I hate those fuckers. I have them still, sometimes; but I learned how to deal with them. My advice is to try to avoid the trigger. I also think that you should take a time-out and recharge, follow your dreams. You are NOT lost! I'm right beside you and together we'll find a way out of the maze you find yourself in right now. You are NOT inadequate! You are wonderful! Look at yourself Bobby; you are strong, you are compassionate, you are brave, you make me feel safe and secure and you make me smile – again and again. You are one of the very, very few people that I trust completely and that I want to have close to me. With you I can let my carefully built walls down. So tell me, how can you think you are inadequate?

Oh, and just for your information: I LOVE to dance! And don't worry about other men; I can't stand to be touched by men – with a few exceptions ;-)

Before you like me too much, I have to confess that I just broke into your apartment. I finished work around 11 p.m. and I wanted to be alone with you; but our apartment was filled with the guys. So I went upstairs and here I am, sitting at your breakfast bar, eating supper and there's one of those dreadful mugs with tea standing next to the plate. I constantly try to wish it away; but whenever I open my eyes again the mug is still there. Dammit!

Write back soon, I'm too alert to sleep yet.

Esme

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 19:45  
Subject: Cheshire cat

Do you know the Cheshire cat? That's me! At least I'm grinning like one at the moment :-)) Just so you know – the two of us will go dancing! Dinner, dancing and a kiss goodnight. You can get as possessive over me as you want. OK, I have to simmer down my hormones or my grin will in fact split my face.

Let's forget our problems for a minute and focus on what you feel seeing me half naked (getting comfy on my bed and waiting expectantly) … Oh, be still my racing heart … After you explained those feeling, you can continue directly with what you wish for me to do to you… (back to the face splitting grin)

Seriously, you know I'd never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, let alone scares you, don't you? But after you've been so open with me, I want to be open with you, too. I'm falling for you Esme, plain and simple. Right now, I'd like to shamelessly flirt with you.

Love,

Bobby

P.S. I love the thought of you in my apartment so go there whenever you want and stay as long as you want. I'll send Ranger a text to give you a spare key.

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To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 22 2012, 23:51  
Subject: Bring it on!

Dear Mr. Brown,

You seem to forget whom you are talking with here. I'm sharing my life as the only woman with six testosterone-driven men – ten if you count in the employees. You'll have to work hard to fluster me. My guys trained me and they trained me well.

(Sitting back and cooly waiting for your next move)

Sincerely yours,

Esmeralda Torres – self-made master of testosterone

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 20:05  
Subject: Flustered?

Self-made master of testosterone, huh?

Let's see whether we can tickle your iron control.

:-)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T sat at the breakfast bar, her dessert all but forgotten, and stared at the picture on her phone. Bobby looked like he was fresh out of the shower. His body glistened with wetness and single water drops were running down his front in rivulets. Around his narrow hips, he'd slung a towel that sat dangerously low. T could see every detail; the single abs, the build pecs, the buff upper and under arms and especially the delicate seam of tight, short hair going south from his navel before vanishing into the low hanging towel. Bobby was sexy and she couldn't help but stare at him. Suddenly, she started to feel dizzy until she realized that she was holding her breath. Her heart was racing and there was a hint of fear involved. Was this what she wanted? Whether on missions or back at Great Falls, she saw her brothers and they saw her naked regularly. She didn't have a problem with that; they were family and there was no sense of shame between them. This was different. This was Bobby! He was an outsider.

T couldn't help but feel an increased longing for him and it scared her. Fucking past. How much she wished she could forget what happened. T was so engrossed in her mental meanderings that she didn't realize how much time had passed. Forty minutes later a new email arrived.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 20:45  
Subject: Worried

Hey my sweetheart,

You still with me? If I scared you or anything, tell me.

Please, talk to me!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 23 2012, 00:50  
Subject: Flustered!

Congratulations Mr. Brown,

You succeeded in flustering me on the first try. Just one more thing that proves you aren't inadequate.

Esme xox

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 20:52  
Subject: Stop

Don't do that Esme; don't hide from me!

Please, make yourself comfortable. You can even go and lay down in my bed – I'd like to have you there. Then when you are comfy, please tell me what just happened. Remember, I don't want to make you uncomfy or scare you. You have to tell me when I overstep a boundary. Tell me what I can do to make this easier for you.

Love,

Bobby x

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 23 2012, 01:20  
Subject:

-And tell me if there's anything I can do to make this easier for you.

Can you come home?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Bobby  
From: Esme  
Date: May 23 2012, 01:24  
Subject: Shit

Sorry, Bobby. I had no right to ask that question. I want you to recuperate and you need to be away for that to happen. Forget that I asked, please, I'm fine!

Esme xox

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To: Esme  
From: Bobby  
Date: May 22 2012, 21:30  
Subject: Fat chance

My baby,

I'm already packing and nothing, I repeat NOTHING, can stop me from coming home to you. Yes, I want to recuperate; but no, I don't need to be away for that to take place. Don't you see, Esme? **You** are the reason I've recuperated so well these last few days. I want to be with you, I just didn't realize it until your email a few minutes ago.

I'll drive down to Anchorage. They have good flight connections; but nevertheless it will take me some time until I arrive back in Trenton. Try to sleep a bit. I'd love for you to stay at my apartment and sleep in my bed; but if you feel better downstairs then go to Agony and Rev. Please Esme, I don't want you to worry about what will happen when I'm there. We will sit down and talk. You can decide whether you want to sit across from me, on my lap or somewhere in the middle. You are the one with all the power and I'm the one who will obey your wishes.

Hang in there, baby; I'm on my way.

Love you,

Bobby

* * *

_**A/N: Bobby's coming home! (jumping up and down with joy) ... so, watcha think - Will they kiss? Will they do 'more'? Will writing the next chapter have me blushing? (cheshire cat grin)**_

_**I also want to thank those guest reviews I received. Thanks guys - you made my day!**_

_**To all of you out there: Take care and have a nice week :-)**_


	34. Chapter 34 - Coming Home

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 34 – Coming Home**

The feeling of Bobby's hands caressing her was wonderful. They were lying closely in bed, on their sides, facing each other. Bobby slowly stroked Esme's side, her arm, her ribcage, her waist, her hip and then along the side of her thigh so gently that her flesh rippled with electricity.

She could see every detail on his face and gloriously naked upper body. All the small scars she'd need to explore, each of them telling a different story. The tiny patch of tight hair between his pecs and those further down below his navel. Esme delicately placed her hand onto Bobby's face and tenderly grazed her thumb over the stubble on his cheek. His eyes closed in response and she felt the vibrations of a soft moan under her palm and finger pads. Oh yeah, he liked how her tiny hands caressed his face. Ever so slowly she traced the contours of his face, his forehead, his eyes, his nose, over the prominent cheekbones and then along the wide, strong jaw, before finally ending at his full and pillow-soft lips.

Following her heart, Esme brushed her index-finger over his lips; from one side to the other and back again, adding a little more pressure with each stroke. The sight was mesmerizing. On her fifth cross, his lips opened and he sucked her finger into his eager mouth. She closed her eyes as she felt something deep inside her clench intensely. The feeling of his tongue swirling around her finger and the sucking sensation was stirring something in her. Esme's breathing quickened and her eyes found that his were full of love and desire. Ever so slowly, Bobby took her hand in his, released her index finger with a pop and started to caress the other fingers with his ever so talented tongue; never once breaking eye contact. Esme looked at him spellbound. Her breathing deepened as her pupils widened with arousal. In amazement, she watched as Bobby continued to diligently lick, kiss and suck her fingers, each and every one of them. When he was finally satisfied with his work, he moved on to nip at her hand then sweetly kiss the places he had bit; and every so often he would stop to lightly suck at her pulsating skin. Everything in Esme; her body, her emotions; were quivering with lust. For once, she wished she could moan to show him how much she enjoyed his ministration. With each nip and kiss, her breathing deepened until it became so labored that she felt a longing to move closer to Bobby. When he finally sucked firmly at the pulse point on her wrist, flicking his tongue over it, Esme's body surged toward him.

She felt on fire. Without her approval, her body rubbed up against Bobby as though it was trying to crawl under his skin. In a spur of the moment, he gripped her waist and pulled her close, his breath hot on her skin.

"Tell me what you want me to do baby," he whispered, nuzzling Esme's nose.

Her breathing was strained. She felt like floating weightless in space with Bobby being her only connection to reality. _Kiss me._

"Where?"

Esme touched her lips and Bobby complied. He started at the left corner of her mouth and sensuously worked his way over to the right corner, slightly nipping at her lower lip as he went. On his way back, her upper lip got some well-deserved attention. The nerve endings in Esme's lips sent the sensations straight down below her waistline. Though Bobby already held her pressed tight against his body, she thrust herself forward in an effort to fold even closer into his embrace. The feeling of her breasts against his chest sent a whole new wave of longing through her. Eventually, he gently sucked her lower lip between his teeth and smiled at Esme's widening eyes. She opened her mouth to protest and Bobby seized the opportunity and closed his lips on her open mouth. For a split second, Esme froze as fear gripped her. Never in her life had she willing allowed a man to possess her so intimately; but when Bobby's tongue continued to softly caress hers, Esme couldn't help but to savor the sensation. It was a magically erotic feeling like none she'd ever experienced. His luscious lips massaging hers, his sensuously warm tongue making smooth passes across hers sending jolts of desire coursing through Esme's body. She no longer tried to keep a grip on reality; instead allowed herself to slowly float away into heavenly rapture knowing she was safe in Bobby's arms.

Esme jolted awake. Her heart was racing and she was panting. Confused, she looked around realizing she was in Bobby's bed. The alarm on her wristwatch vibrated, eight A.M. - Fuck. Letting herself fall back into the cushy pillow she put her hands to her flaming hot cheeks. _Oh my god,_ she started to giggle, _what the fuck?_ Turning onto her side, Esme reached for her phone and retrieved the picture of Bobby, all wet and nearly naked.

Half an hour later, decked out in tiny running shorts, sports bra and a never-ending smile, T entered the gym. Ram, Cal and Vince waved from the weight-room and a few guys from the BE department were scattered around the room at the different machines. T jumped onto one of the treadmills and set it for a casual jog. Once warmed up she started to make pace until she was flat out running for another 6 miles. Sweaty, T stretched and went over to the punching bags; no stupid, boring machines for her today. Bobby was coming home and she was in a party mood. As she happily punched away on the bag, T suddenly felt vibrations in her feet and abdomen. Looking around the gym, she saw Vince standing at the stereo system.

_Vince?_ He immediately turned around. _Is the music very loud?_

Vince looked at her confused. _Rather; but not too much._

That made T smile. Apparently, the floor was transmitting the bass and she hadn't realized it so far. Looking around she detected the four speakers, one in each corner, mounted at the wall. _Do you think we could dismount the speakers, put them down on the floor and turn the music on full blast?_ She beamed at Vince.

For a second he looked even more confused until realization hit his eyes. He whistled and Ram and Cal sauntered over. Within minutes the speakers were all on the floor and Vince pumped up the volume. T was in heaven. She

closed her eyes and felt the beat pumping through her body. Through the guys' minds she heard glimpses of the music waving in and out of their consciousness. Slowly, she let her body start to move along with the pulse of the rhythm. When T felt tightly wrapped in the reverberation, she opened her eyes and once more started to hit the bag. The men in the gym watched in unleashed admiration. T was poetry in motion. She carried herself as though she could hear the music. T's whole body was moving, dancing and gyrating in time with the Latin beats as her hits to the bag landed seamlessly incorporating her sensuous moves. Slowly the gym started to fill with spectators. None of them had ever seen anything like what they were watching. T was so joyful while she focused on dancing to the music that she was totally unaware of her increasing audience. The next time there was a break between two songs, she looked around. Instead of the original eight men who were working out, suddenly about thirty men were watching her with wonder. T smiled not feeling at all self-conscience because she knew and liked all the men. She felt comfortable, elated and excited; Bobby was coming home. T couldn't help but beam. Dancing over to Vince she held out her hand. _Dance with me?_

His grin lit up the gym. _Anything for you._

Off they went; moving their hips in sync to the sound of the Buena Vista Social Club filling the gym. Vince held her close; but not too close for comfort and T was happy. It had been way to long since her last night out. She'd need to grab Agony and Rev and hit the clubs. No, better yet, she had a date with Bobby; dinner, dancing and a kiss good-night. T giggled. Vince grinned in return and started to twirl her around and around until she was laughing so hard she had to grab his arms to save her equilibrium.

Shortly before ten, when CP and Button entered the conference room on two, the discussion about T's dancing was hot and heated. They all saw Vince with a stupid grin plastered on his face and every one of them wanted that same grin for the same reason.

"Yo, Button, CP," Ace addressed them. "You probably know T better than anyone of us. Is there any chance we could ask her out without making her uncomfortable?"

CP grinned a bright, wide, toothy grin. "Forget it man. Her guys are the only ones she's ever gone with to the clubs. But you could opt for a group night out and perhaps you'll get lucky and she'll dance with you."

"Be cautious," Button chimed in with a serious tone. "Agony and Rev are watching her like hawks. You don't want to piss them off."

"Hot damn, did you see those moves? Was there anything not shaking on that fucking luscious body?"

"Luscious? Jeez, Knock, do you need specs? She's way too skinny; she could easily use at least twenty more pounds of meat on her bones. Fuck, imagine her with hundred-twenty or even hundred-thirty pounds," Willow got a dreamy look in his eyes. "I'm getting hard just thinking of **those** luscious curves."

CP's and Button's faces hardened. Every IA felt protective of Terror and wouldn't let anyone talk about her in a demeaning way or touch her without her absolutely certain approval. Before they could call Willow out, they all heard T's irritated voice in their minds. _Nice to know you are all after my intellect and don't give shit about my looks. If anyone still has a hard on when I enter the room, he will quickly loose it. Got it boyyyz?_ She snarled.

The assembled men froze and turned to the door; but of course she wasn't there. She wouldn't even be joining them for another twenty minutes.

The Rangemen were anxiously waiting and when T finally entered the conference room, everyone instantly snapped to attention and saluted.

_Jeez, guys, _T laughed._ I could taste your fear up on the eighth floor. What? Did you really think I'd come down here and cut your mighty friends off? Although, now that you are standing_, she shamelessly looked at the men's groins around the room, _I can see that we have no problem with "anyone" standing at attention._ A dopy grin crept across her face. She had hoaxed them and hoaxed them good.

_OK, any questions before we get started? _She looked around the room at the men who had taken their seats again.

Willow cleared his throat. _Knock and I want to apologize for our inappropriate comments earlier; but you __**are**__ one fucking hot woman and we mean that in the best sense of the word. How did you do that in the gym? You can't hear the music for crying out loud!_ His look was still stunned at the memory.

T smiled at him. Today nothing could damper her good mood. _I feel the beats in my feet and my stomach. Plus, I can hear the music through your minds. When you concentrate on a song, I can hear the music by listening in to your mind – It works the same way as when I listen in to people talking._

_That's amazing!_ Knock stared at her.

_Ahem, we were thinking,_ Scotch motioned to the room in general, _whether you'd like to come dancing with all of us; perhaps Friday night?_ The men all looked at her eagerly.

_It's Tuesday, how about we decided that on Friday. That OK with you? We have a lot of training to do in a very short time frame. We'll decide it on an ad hoc basis._

Satisfied with T's response, the Rangemen began their task and spent the next two hours searching for puzzle pieces through clues they extracted from T's mind. Earlier in the day, T and Hector had laid out big pieces of a children's puzzle throughout the Rangeman building, much to the amusement of the other employees. Now, she had the men mentally walking the building from the bottom to the top and back in search of them.

T pushed what she saw while planting the pieces into minds of the men. They had to concentrate and focus enough to see where the pieces were hidden and instruct T where to locate each piece. When T was back in the conference room, she laid the pieces out on the table. The men were then instructed to assemble the puzzle in T's mind. They would take a piece, study the already combined fragments in T's imagination and decide where the current segment would fit. Once attached, the piece in their hands was turned upside down on the table.

The exercise sounded so easy to them; but soon they were at the end of their ropes. The constant transition between the reality on the table and the fiction in Terror's head was causing them headaches. When they were nearing the end of the task, their minds had trouble discerning between reality and fiction.

During their lunch break, T sat with Lester, Ram, Woody, Cal and the IAs in the break room working through a huge pile of sandwiches and salad Ella had prepared for them. The buzzer on her wrist vibrated signaling a text from her friend Marvey with the NGA. Rage had scouted him out when T was at Walter Reed to warn him about his boss Darnell Terrell. T wanted him to back out and keep a low profile; but Marv insisted on helping her. He called one of the IA's every night at 10 p.m. on the SAT phone to check in and he'd send a text from a prepaid phone when it was urgent.

'Pooh found a honey pot.'

T scrunched her brow and showed the message to Furor who gave it to Rage. Marv had found something. Furor and Rage would immediately leave for DC to pick it up. It was crazy to drive all the way; but it was their best chance to stay undetected and keep Marvey as safe as possible.

T had met Marv six years ago on the Potomac Heritage Trail where he sat in the middle of the trail, totally exhausted, not capable of standing up anymore. Marv was 440 lbs back then and wanted to loose weight; but had totally overstrained his body. T sent a text to Furor who hurried to them, started Marv on an IV and together with Jokester's help they brought him home. That day was the beginning of their friendship.

As soon as Marv had recovered, T met with him on a track, often together with Grief, where they started to walk together every other day. In addition, Furor worked out a diet that left Marv with enough to eat; but reduced calories. Half a year later, T and Marv tackled the Potomac Heritage Trail again and walked all the way from the Great Falls Park to the Seneca Parking area where Grief and the former IA Team were waiting and applauded them. The team had brought fruit and sandwiches and together they all celebrated Marvey's accomplishments of the last six months. Later, he declared that day was one of the best days in his life. Today he was down to 308 lbs and happy as a bug. He was excited about all this and felt like James Bond; no matter what Rage told him about the dangers, Marv wanted to be involved.

Furor and Rage hastily packed a few more sandwiches and water bottles from the fridge, kissed T good-bye and hurried down to the garage.

_Stay safe, love ya! _T thought to them as they pulled out onto the street.

The afternoon passed by playing hide and seek on the compound. T divided the men once again in four teams and together they were chasing imaginary foes, always connected via T's mind network. The men cussed and laughed a lot about running into each other, their miscommunication and their stupidity. T allowed the men to carry on with their musings. She felt they needed to air their stress; but she worried how she was supposed to get them ready to go in the remaining time. After they were finished, they all stayed at the compound for another two hours for some intense shooting training.

As they were unloading their trucks back at Rangemen, Hal came out of the stairwell and went over to T. "Ranger wants to talk to you. He's waiting in his office."

Sweaty and dirty as she was, T went up to four and stepped into Ranger's office.

For a long moment, Ranger looked at her dirty appearance before the shadow of a smile flitted over his face.

_You look like you had fun._

T stuck her tongue out as an answer which made Ranger smile.

_How do my men look?_

_Worse. Why am I here? You certainly didn't call me to your office to talk about my appearance._ T crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

Suddenly Ranger's smile vanished and his blank face slammed down. _Ice broke._

That made both of T's eyebrows vanish in her hairline. So far she hadn't felt the strength in her to interrogate him again. Ranger and a few other selected Rangemen had kept 'talking' with him.

_What's he saying?_

_His real name is Aaron Mitchell. NISE indeed planted him here to watch Rodríguez. He was told that they suspected Rodríguez to be a sleeper and he was to keep an eye on him. Sean Williams was the one who recruited him. _Ranger paused for a moment._ I have a feeling that there is more; but we couldn't question him any further without risking his death._

T stared at him blankly. Her mind was down at the underground level in Ice's head. His system was considerably weakened. The Rangemen had done a thorough job on him. Furor and Rage weren't back yet so she zeroed in on Button and CP. _Guys, I need one of you down at Ranger's office on four and bring your big bag._

_I want him patched up by CP or Button so that he's capable of surviving an interrogation by me._

Ranger nodded just as Button knocked and entered the room.

When they entered Ice's holding cell on the third underground level, the sight wasn't pretty. Ice laid naked on the cement floor, his face and body smeared with blood. All that mixed with the smell of his sweat and excrement.

"We need to clean him to avoid an infection," Button said matter-of-factly. "Can we hose him down somewhere and then perhaps put him in another cell?"

Ranger nodded and called Lester and Ram down to help. Half an hour later, Ice was cleaned up and Button went to work patching up his wounds.

"He has internal bleeding – not much I can do about that," he stated after a minute.

_Can't you do a surgery?_ T looked down at Ice with eyes full of pure anger and hate. That bastard was after Rubén; and Rubén was hers to protect. She didn't give a shit whether Ice died as long as she got the information he was withholding first.

"No. I don't know how extensive the damage is at this point. Can be it works, can be that once I open him the sauce will slosh out without stopping."

_Can you get him aware enough that I can question him?_

Button looked down at Ice who had become unconscious half way through the hosing down. "No chance, Angel. You'll be lucky if he survives the night."

_Then do the surgery._

Button looked at her with raised eyebrows.

_Button, this is an order,_ T's tone was commanding and she was exuding her chilly don't-fuck-with-me authority. _I need to question him; after that he can die for all I care. You will comply or pack your bags and leave._

Button's eyes widened for a second. "Of course I will comply; but I need CP down here to assist me and two more men would help."

_You get everything you need. Ranger? Would you please help Button and CP to get the needed stuff?_

T climbed the stairs up to the fifth floor. She had waited until Ice was open and Button could assess the damage. He and CP were now working on him and it looked good; at least for the interrogation. Everything afterward didn't matter.

Meanwhile, it was half past ten p.m. and she still hadn't showered; but she knew the moment a drop of warm water hit her body, she wouldn't be able to get back to work anymore. So she made her way to the communication room to find Woody and Silvio immersed in their work.

_Woody, you're supposed to rest!_ T couldn't avoid the irritation in her thought.

_Says who?_ Woody turned and nearly popped his eyes at T's appearance.

_Your boss,_ T growled narrowing her eyes at him.

_At least I'm clean boss,_ he scrutinized her and gave her a quick wink.

_Shit, you're right; but if I shower, I'll fall asleep. Let's get through your findings and then we both can get some shut-eye._

For the next two hours, they pored over Woody's search results and Silvio's decryptions. They were getting nowhere. Whenever they thought they had a lead, it turned out to be a blind alley. At eleven p.m. Rev had come down in search for her; but she'd sent him away. She couldn't think of sleep, let alone about eating. Everything in her was on edge. When they finally called it a night at midnight, T felt like jell-o. For a moment, she thought about going up to Agony and Rev; but something pulled her magically to the eighth floor and Bobby's apartment. She hadn't heard from him all day and it was horrible. The idea of spending another night in his bed comforted her though there was an ache in her chest.

It was two o'clock in the morning when a cab stopped in front of the Rangeman building, alerting Sanchez and Ramon from the BE department who were on monitor duty. Bobby gave the cabbie his fee, stepped out on the boardwalk and retrieved his bags from the trunk. Once the cab had vanished, he looked up and down Haywood and breathed in Trenton's familiar smell. He was back and he couldn't say that he was happy about it. He knew the cameras on the outside of the building were all zeroed in on him so he grabbed his bags and went over to the garage entrance. The moment he approached the gate it magically opened for him.

"Dude, where have you been?" Sanchez asked him with a big smile the moment Bobby stepped out of the elevator.

"Took a vacation, man. Couldn't stand you fussy pussies any longer," Bobby smiled back at him as they shared a man-hug. "Ramon, you OK?" Bobby asked and got an averted small nod in return. If someone thought of Hal as shy – he was nothing compared to Ramon. "Listen Sanchez, leave the core team a message that I'm back; but T and I are offline for the time being."

Sanchez looked at him confused; but nodded his understanding.

Two minutes later, Bobby stood in front of his apartment door. This was it. He hoped T was in there and he knew the moment he stepped through that door, his life would definitely change. Opening the door and entering the hall, he immediately smelled his shower gel and he couldn't help the grin that threatened to split his face. She was here. Silently, he made his way through the apartment and into the kitchen. On the counter stood a dinner tray. He lifted the domes and the food was nearly untouched; just a few picks here and there. Sighing he put the domes back over the plates. He knew getting Esme to eat regularly would be a challenge. Looking into the fridge, he found a chocolate flavored yogurt which made him smile – he'll probably have to rethink his no-chocolate policy. Bobby took the yogurt, grabbed a banana and devoured both in seconds before he felt himself ready to face his future.

Slowly, he opened the door to his bedroom and grabbed his chest at the sight in front of him. The depression he had felt outside on the boardwalk at the realization he was back gave way as a tidal wave of love and longing washed over him. My Esme, my sweetheart. Taking a deep breath, Bobby made his way over to the bed. She laid on her stomach in one of his T-shirts with the sheet scrunched up at her feet. Her sleep was fitful, her body moving, apparently troubled by a bad dream. Cautiously, Bobby laid down beside her and started to caress her face. She had her hair loosely braided and a few strands had broken free. He gently tucked the strands behind her ear. He knew he shouldn't do it; but he couldn't hold back any longer. Moving even closer to her, he started to place whisper-soft kisses along her hairline. Esme's breathing changed. Smiling, Bobby kissed her eyes, then the tip of her nose before he nuzzled her cheek. When he finally pulled his head slightly back, two sleepy eyes where blinking at him. Bobby's heart instantly missed a beat.

"Hey Baby," he whispered while his fingers stroked her cheek. "I'm back."

In the blink of an eye, Esme was in his arms and Bobby felt her sob silently.

"Hush Baby, it's OK." He tightened his arms around her and stroked her back. "I'm here now and I won't abandon you again. You are stuck with me, sweetie."

After a few minutes he felt Esme go limp in his arms. Careful not to wake her, Bobby rolled her onto her back and untangled himself from her. For some long minutes he just watched her sleep. She was so extraordinarily beautiful. How hadn't he noticed that before? Without jarring her, he stood up and went to the hall where he had left his bags. There he was, Moose, looking out of the zipper of his backpack. Bobby grabbed him and brought him to Esme. Once he had laid him into her arms, he covered her up, bent over to press a gentle kiss on her lips and vanished into the bathroom. He'd been up for 38 hours and desperately needed a shower and a shave. After all, he was about to spend the first night with the woman he'd so deeply fallen in love with.

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_**A/N: Anybody else in love with Bobby? ... Damn, I love him more and more with each chapter.  
**_

_**Here is a little preview to the next chapter 'First Kiss' - my beta will start with it tomorrow so have a bit patience.**_

_Very, very slowly Esme's conscience started to emerge from the depths of her dream world. She felt amazing; all warm and cozy and happy. Snuggling deeper into the warmth surrounding her, she suddenly felt her pillow move and the next moment two arms were tightening around her. What the hell? Just as she wanted to jerk away, the memories came flooding back. Bobby! He'd come home last night and woke her up with kisses and then he'd held her. Her pillow must be Bobby! While Esme was processing all that, a hand started to draw lazy circles on her back. Hmmmm that felt soooo good. Languorously she wiggled closer, pressing her body against Bobby's. In response she felt his chest vibrate with a moan and his arms tightened again._


	35. Chapter 35 - First Kiss

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 35 – First Kiss**

Very, very slowly Esme started to emerge from the depths of her dream world. She felt amazing; all warm and cozy and happy. Snuggling deeper into the warmth surrounding her, Esme suddenly felt her pillow move. The next moment two muscular arms were tightening around her. What the hell? Just as she was about to panic and jerk away, her memories came flooding back. Bobby! He'd come home last night and woke her up with soft kisses and then climbed into bed to hold her. Her pillow must be Bobby! While Esme was processing all that, a hand started to draw lazy circles on her back. Hmmmm that felt soooo good. Languorously she wiggled closer, pressing her body against Bobby's. In response, she felt his chest vibrate with a moan and his arms further tightening around her.

Suddenly, everything around her seemed to intensify. She sensed Bobby's heartbeat pulsing through her, smelled the unique scent of his skin in all its heavenly detail and above all Esme felt every single thought and emotion in his mind as if it was her own. Esme took a deep breath against the sensation to literally be in his body. She'd never felt such a connection with anyone except Rubén and Muerte. Bobby was longing for her; yet at the same time, desperately trying to control his bodily reaction to their closeness. In particular, that area where her shirt had ridden up just a hair exposing the luscious feeling of a tiny patch of naked skin against his.

Esme was moved that his only thought was to not make her uncomfortable. She could sense Bobby's profound love and happiness to be with her coursing through his body overpowering the notions of longing and arousal. She knew, however, Bobby was fighting a losing battle. Through his mind, Esme could feel the blood pooling in his cock, stiffening it. It was a strange sensation to feel a body part that definitely wasn't present on her own body. Carefully, Esme listened inside herself and amazingly found no fear at all. Her sentiments matched those of Bobby. Although, she was vividly aware of his now hard cock pulsating against her leg.

Opening her eyes, Esme admired the sight of Bobby's chocolate brown skin. He was gloriously naked apart from some boxers. Esme's head laid on one of his deliciously bare pecs and her hand rested on the tiny patch of hair in front of her. For whatever reason, Lester's words popped up into her mind 'Listen to your heart, don't over think things'. Slowly, she started to draw delicate circles in Bobby's chest hair. It was so downy soft, Esme was mesmerized by the fleecy texture atop his velvety smooth skin. She had never had the opportunity to stroke a man's chest hair. Agony and Rev didn't have any and the other guys always wore shirts when she shared their beds. Esme was amazed that such a simple act could be so sensual.

At that moment, she felt Bobby exhale a long breath as something clenched in him. His emotions were firing all over the place and it made Esme feel giddy with happiness. Lifting her head, she grinned at him and, never leaving his eyes, placed a small peck on his chest before she started to giggle. Bobby laughed out loud at her excitement and pulled her up so they were face to face. His brown eyes were glowing and his smile was the most beautiful Esme had ever seen on his face.

"Hey there sleepy-head," he lovingly caressed the dimples on her cheeks. "We wondered when you'd wake up."

"We?" Esme signed.

Bobby nodded to her side and Esme suddenly realized they weren't alone in bed. Moose and Shazam were lying on her other side looking all soft and cozy. Momentarily, she let go of Bobby and rolled over to cradle the two plush animals to her chest.

"Bobby, I can't believe you took them to bed with us." Esme signed at a loss for words. She knew it wasn't 'normal' to talk to stuffed animals and take them to bed at the age of twenty-six; but Grief had taught her to ignore social conventions and to do what makes her feel happy and secure. She'd never expected anybody else to behave that way.

Bobby pulled her back over so that they were lying on their sides and facing each other. For long moments, he just absorbed every detail of her beautiful face; her perfectly curved eyebrows, the cut that went through one eyebrow leaving it parted at its highest point; her sparkling green eyes; her cute little snub nose; her mouthwatering lips and last but not least her dimples that showed at the tiniest smile. He tried to see her scars; but he had trouble focusing on them at all.

"You are so beautiful baby," he signed with a look of devotion in his eyes. "I must have been blind not to see that before." Esme still had Moose and Shazam cradled to her chest lovingly. Bobby took her hand and first kissed every single one of her knuckles before he turned her hand and pressed a tender kiss in her palm. Esme watched him in wonder, totally lost in the moment, as he put her hand back on Moose. After a long time of simply looking at each other, Esme lifted her hand to touch him; but pulled back again. Bobby saw her brow crunch right before she averted her eyes.

"Hey baby," he gently lifted her face and smiled at her encouragingly. "Why did you just tense up."

T sighed and bit her lip. She wanted to look away again; but Bobby wasn't having that. Leaning forward he placed two lingering kisses on her still creased brow. "Please tell me, Esme."

"I'm just suddenly so confused. I feel stupid cuz I don't know what to do," she signed after a while.

Bobby looked at her for a moment before his eyes caught her hands clenching Shazam so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Gently prying her fingers loose, he took her hands in his. They were cold and sweaty with tension and fear. On a guess, he pulled up the sheet covering them both so that it hopefully would feel like a secure cave for her. Putting her hands on his warm chest, he started to rub them. "Please tell me what has you so confused." Oh, this was going to be so hard for her to admit. Bobby could see how her jaw was working and how she was fighting not to pull her hands away from him and run in a panic out the door.

After several deep breaths, Esme gently removed her hands and innocently began to sign while crunching her brow and biting her lip. "The way you look at me and touch me; does that mean that you are my boyfriend now?"

For a second, Bobby was taken aback. He didn't think that there was any doubt about their relationship in either of their minds. Looking at Esme, she was back to clenching Shazam with a death grip and averting her eyes from his. Once more Bobby lifted her head until she looked up. "Esmeralda Torres, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I want to be your boyfriend. I've fallen so deeply in love with you. I want to explore, without any pressure, what there could be between the two of us. Does this answer your question?" he smiled at her while he caressed her cheek.

A nod and a crooked smile was all that Esme could give him while a stray tear was running down her face.

Carefully, Bobby pulled her up to his body and gently rolled her onto her back; Moose and Shazam like guardians between them. Another stray tear found its way down Esme's cheek. Bobby quickly caught and kissed it away and nuzzled her nose with his. He pulled back just enough so she could see his lips. "Baby, have you ever had a boyfriend before?" He needed to know in order to gauge the impact his actions would have on her. When she shook her head no, his heart sank. Not because it would change his feelings for her; but because he worried his worst fear was about to be confirmed. "Does that mean the rapes are the only experiences you've had with men?" Esme bit her lip and nodded yes. Bobby exhaled a long breath before he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

Esme could sense something was changing in him. It felt as though the walls in him were shifting; old ways closed and new ones appeared. From one second to the next, Esme's protection and his care for her became his utmost priority. She was now his and he wouldn't let anyone ever hurt her again! He couldn't say how long they laid with their foreheads connected; but something between them changed in that time. When Bobby finally pulled back a bit he saw his love mirrored in Esme's eyes. "So can I assume that you've never been lovingly kissed?" he asked with a crooked smile.

Esme nodded.

"Then I hope that this one will be worthy of a first kiss," Bobby whispered and slowly lowered his head until their mouths were merely two inches apart. Esme's lips were beautiful; curved, full and looking oh so soft. He drank in their sight and imagined how heavenly it would feel to kiss, suck and nip at them. As he tried to reign in his raging hormones, he felt Esme's breathing quicken. She looked at his lips mesmerized by their tantalizing ampleness. Giving her nose a little nudge, he smiled at her wickedly and got a grin in return. Before Bobby realized it, Esme nudged him back accidentally brushing her lips against his. Her shocked, wide eyes were the cutest he'd ever seen in his life. Closing the remaining distance between them, Bobby again skimmed his lips softly over hers before pulling back. One more time he saw the look of wonder in her eyes that made his heart melt. Dipping down again Bobby gave her lips another whispering touch with his. This time, he pulled just an inch away. Her breathing had deepened, her pupils widened and it was as though she was hypnotized by the power of his lips. Ever so slowly, Bobby started to kiss the left corner of her mouth and tenderly worked his way over to the right corner, nipping at her lower lip in the process. On his way back, her upper lip got the same wondrous attention.

Esme felt heavenly; her own feelings and Bobby's were whirling through her veins. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that this moment was just like her dream the night before. Bobby continued brushing and nipping at Esme's lips until they were tingling. The sensations went straight down below Esme's waistline and suddenly her whole body started to tingle. Although Bobby was already partially hovering over Esme, he yearned to be closer. With one swift movement, Esme pulled Moose and Shazam out from between her and Bobby and placed them next to her. The moment they were gone Bobby lowered his body down onto hers. The feeling of her firm breasts pressed intimately against Bobby's muscular chest combined with having one of his legs resting between hers, sent a whole new wave of longing through Esme. The whole time Bobby was increasing his pressure on her lips and eventually gently sucked her lower lip between his teeth. Esme's eyes momentarily widened. She opened her mouth to protest and Bobby swiftly closed his lips on her hers. In her dream, Esme had frozen at this point; but now she knew what heavens awaited her. There was no hesitation at all when she felt Bobby's tongue passionately caressing hers. The massage of his skilled lips sent unfamiliar jolts through her body. His warm tongue made everything in her clench with longing. This was so much better than her dream; but best of all there was no fear in her, none at all. Letting her body move against his, Esme worked her arms around his torso and held on to him like he was her lifeline. Slowly, she felt the last grip she had on reality slip away. Then she was floating, secure in Bobby's arms.

Esme's floating was abruptly ended when she felt Bobby stiffen in her arms. Blinking, she got her bearings and realized that they were total entwined; body, arms and legs. Something seemed to be wrong. She did a quick scan of the apartment and found Button standing in front of the apartment door.

Bobby nudged her so she would look at him. "There's somebody at the door who needs to be shooed away. I'll be right back. Don't even think of moving!" he winked and smiled at her.

As he left the bedroom, Esme looked around. _OMG! It's two pm.!_ Looking for her phone, she crawled to the edge of the bed and found Moose and Shazam in a heap of sheets and pillows on the floor. Cautiously, she peaked over her shoulder at the crumbled bed and couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of her.

"What are you laughing about, huh?" Bobby grabbed her stuffed animals and playfully pulled Esme back up to the head of the bed. In the process, Esme's shirt rode up to her breasts exposing her flat stomach. "Hmmmmmmm," Bobby licked his lips, "delicious Esme-skin. I wonder how it tastes." He dipped his head down to Esme's stomach. When he was a mere inch away, Bobby paused and gazed wantonly up at her. He saw no apprehension at all in her eyes. As his lips brushed Esme's skin above her belly button, her body surged upward toward him. "Hush Baby," Bobby smiled against her skin and gently pressed her back into the mattress. He lovingly paced his actions in an effort to not overwhelm Esme's senses. Bobby began by placing a ring of chaste kisses around her belly button. Within seconds, he was playfully nipping her skin after every other kiss. When he completed his lecherous loop, Bobby let his tongue swirl around the path his lips had just taken. Looking back up, Bobby saw Esme's eyes were blazing. In the few hours they'd been a couple, he'd learned to love that sight. The little red flecks around her pupil seemed to flare and intensified the green even more. Crawling up her body, he lowered himself between her legs as his hands sweetly cradled her head. He could get lost in those eyes. Esme seemed to feel the same about his so they just looked at each other for a minute before Bobby dipped down and kissed her once more. Esme was an avid learner and in seconds they were both on fire.

"We need to stop baby," Bobby had reluctantly pulled his head back and caressed her face. "Believe me I'd like to stay in bed with you the whole day; but you seem to be missed."

Esme raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do you know a guy, ferocious looking with a braid springing out of the side of his head?" Bobby frowned.

Laughing, Esme nodded.

"He told me to relay to you that 'the men' wonder whether you will entertain them today," Bobby raised an eyebrow at her.

Giggling, Esme signed. "His name is Button and he's one of the new medics on the mission team. The team wonders whether we will do our afternoon training session.

"New medic?" Bobby signed.

"You've missed a lot while you were gone," Esme caressed the slight stubble on his cheek. "Do you want me to bring you up to par with the happenings or do you want Ranger or Tank to do it?"

For a moment Bobby's face darkened. "Truth be told I'd prefer to not see any of them; but that will hardly be possible." He started to nibble at her neck to avoid any further conversation about the topic; but Esme wasn't having that.

Grabbing his hair, she pulled his head up. "What about you say hello to them – Lester especially, he missed you – but you stick to 'boy talk' and I'll tell you everything else tonight?" she signed.

"Boy talk?" Bobby grinned.

"Yeah, ya know. Guns, girls, cars, those things," she grinned back.

"OK," he laughed, "that's a deal. How about I cook something nice for us tonight?"

"That's fine; but we'll have to eat on 5 because I really need to work tonight after I spent most of the day in bed with a gorgeous chocolate hunk that wouldn't leave me alone."

Bobby bit her neck before jumping out of bed. "I'll shower first and then make some breakfast for us while you are in the bathroom."

It was nine pm. when T finally knocked at Bobby's apartment door. She was sweaty, her clothes were covered with dried, cracking mud and clumps of mud were stuck together in her hair. In addition, her whole body was aching from a drop courtesy of Ace. She had looked forward to her evening with Bobby; but now her mood was at an all-time low.

"What happened to you?" Bobby's eyes widened at her sight.

"Thanks for the warm welcome!" T bristled.

"Hey sweety, you know I didn't mean it that way." Bobby tried to pull her into his arms; but T took a step backward. "Esme, what's wrong?" He looked at her confused.

T felt like she was suffocating. She needed to get away. Fast. "You know what?" she signed. "This isn't a good idea. I mean this thing between the two of us. I'm sorry." With that she turned and limped off in direction of the elevator.

Bobby was stunned. Blinking a few times, he watched T's retreating back. Before she could reach the elevator, he was in front of her grasping her shoulders forcing her to look at him. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong; but I won't let you run away and destroy the most wonderful thing that's happened in my life besides falling in love with Rubén. We will go back into my apartment now. I will fill the tub and you will take a relaxing bath. Then we will talk."

T felt the tears prick in her eyes. She ripped herself away from Bobby and stalked to the stairwell. She was shaking with cold, had a pounding headache, felt like shit and her whole body was hurting. Worst of all, she was seething with an unexplainable anger; but definitely not because of Bobby. However, he would be the one who'd take the heat if she didn't manage to get away from him.

"Stop!" Bobby bellowed as he squished himself in front of the stairwell door before she could open it. He looked at her, his eyes confused and full of pain. "Esme, what's wrong?" He signed. "What happened between breakfast and now that has you in such turmoil? Why are you so dirty and limping and why is there dried blood on you face and hands?" He carefully cupped her face and searched her eyes. "Please baby, don't. run. away. Whatever it is we'll deal with it together. That's the up-side of being in a relationship – there's always someone to lean on when you need them." This time as he reached to pull her into his arms, Esme gave in and sagged her strained body into his embrace. Without further ado, Bobby picked her up and carried her back to his apartment. They went straight into the bathroom where he placed her on top of one of the cabinets.

"Wait here," he signed and vanished. Bobby quickly returned with a first aid kit. When T looked up at him, tears were streaming down her face. "Oh no, sweetie, what's wrong? Don't worry, everything's fine with us. I promise." He hugged her close and stroked her back; but Esme shook her head no. Pulling back Bobby looked at her. "What do you mean with 'no'?"

"It's the Blue," she signed sobbing.

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked confused.

"Bobby, I need it. My body needs it. I know it's just withdrawal and that I can't give in; but I feel like shit. I'm freezing, everything hurts and I have a headache. I'm nauseated and all I want is to drink some Blue. It's so hard Bobby. I didn't feel anything this morning; but then this afternoon all I could think of was breaking into Furor's apartment to see whether any of the powder is left."

"Fuck!" Bobby exhaled and pulled Esme tightly back against his body. Slowly, he felt her tense muscles relax. Leaning back he focused on her eyes. "Listen baby, as you said these are withdrawal symptoms. It's not your body that needs the Blue, it's your mind. You suffer from a mental dependency and now you have to stay strong for me, do you hear me? Don't give in."

Esme sniffed and nodded.

"Hey," Bobby nudged her chin upward, "how about that bubble bath I talked about earlier? Then I'll heat up our dinner, we can snuggle on the couch and let those little men in our minds doodle. Watcha think?" He smiled encouragingly.

Esme sniffed again and wiped the tears away. "I can't," she signed. "I have to go to five and work."

She looked so sad and exhausted, Bobby couldn't stand it. "What do you have to work on tonight?"

"Furor and Rage picked up a CD from one of my informants. I need to take a look at it. It's important. I should have done it last night; but I was too exhausted."

"Now your energy is depleted again tonight. Emse, listen, your body and mind need rest. You are running on fumes, Baby. I can see it in your eyes. The more rest you give yourself, the better you can deal with the withdrawal symptoms." He pondered for a moment. "How about I call Hector and he connects my laptop to the TV. Then we can still snuggle in the comfort of the apartment and take a look at the CD for let's say an hour max. Does that sound good to you?"

"It's most probably satellite pictures. Can your laptop deal with the data volume? We would also need that special viewer Woody has down on five."

Bobby could see Esme deteriorating in front of his eyes. "We do this with team work. You go and have a relaxing soak in the bath and I will talk to Hector. Then we can make a plan from there." With that being said, Bobby turned on the faucet of the tub, put some Epsom Salt in it and helped Esme out of her dirty clothes. He had to work hard to reign in his anger when he saw all the bruises that were starting to bloom on her body. Whoever was responsible for that would rather be in another country by the time he found out.

Later that night, Bobby laid wide-awake in bed with a sleeping Esme in his arms. His mind was racing like a freight train. Though it was summer, she was wearing a long sleeved shirt and still he could feel her shaking with the chills. How she was suffering was heart wrenching. Esme had fallen asleep in the tub. He was barely able to keep her awake long enough to get out of the tub and eat something. On the couch, Esme was asleep before the satellite picture viewer had a chance to boot. He'd woken her up later for some bathroom necessities; but as soon as they were back in bed, she snuggled up to him and was out again. This assignment was taking its toll and he still didn't know what had happened while he was away. Rubén broke while doing his job, he wouldn't let the same happen to Esme.

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_**A/N: First of all my heartfelt thanks to Anastasia Y, Sookie Manoso, Madeleine, towhatend and SoBabe80 for your reviews. Thanks girls! I hope this new chapter pleases you (and everybody else of course).**_

_****__**Here is a little preview to the next chapter: **_

_Since when can you remove the trigger spring? _Scotch asked puzzled.

_Like forever you idiot, _Harvey growled.

_Harvey, if I hear one more demeaning comment from you our next talk is on the mats, _T thought frostily. She had enough of his attitude.

_"What the fuck … You know what, T? Nothing against you; but I'm so fed up with all these kids games." Harvey spoke out loud._

_"Harvey, shut the fuck up," Vince voice was ice cold as he glared at the man across from him._

_"Fuck you Vince. Do you know how pathetic it is to see you so pussy whipped by a woman who won't let you fuck her?"_

_In a split second Vince was out of his chair. "You better watch what you say, asshole. You are talking about our boss here," he snarled._

_"Harvey, Vince, enough!" Ram barked over their noise._

_"Fuck off Ram! You aren't better than Vince. Keep thinking of fucking her, don't ya? The whole time I've kept silent; but now it's enough." Harvey's voice started to get louder. "We are fighting against a superior opponent and instead of training hand-to-hand, close combat or our shooting skills we are sitting here like some mental fuckers and puzzle, play 'pack your bag' or mentally dismantle a Glock. What is this? A Kindergarten?"_

_"Harvey, ENOUGH!" Lester thundered._

_[...]_

___When Bobby gently bit down on her hip bone, something in her clenched with need and her pelvis shot upward. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled Bobby up to her face and kissed him hungrily. For a split second he was astounded by her forwardness; but then Esme felt something in him snap and with a moan he pressed her down into the mattress, his body grinding into hers. Esme felt every bit of his arousal, felt the strain in his cock, the dizziness in his head as if it was hers and it just intensified her own feelings and longing. All at once it became too intense. The whole time she had focused on keeping her mind to herself; but now her control was slipping and the urge to push everything back to him became overwhelming. As Bobby bit down and sucked hard on Esme's pulse point, her whole body pushed into him while his mind was washed over with a tidal wave of her arousal, longing, need, wishes and fears. The mental assault hit him totally unprepared. He laid between Esme's legs and before he could stop the movement his cock slammed into her waiting pelvis and he felt an enormous release claiming him. In his head Bobby screamed at himself to stop; but it was too late. Helplessly he had to feel his groin jerk forward again and again._


	36. Chapter 36 - Loosing Control

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

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**Chapter 36 – Loosing Control**

T slowly dragged her aching body down the stairwell to the second floor. Every step hurt, the pain shooting like bolts through her bruised muscles. Of course she could have taken the elevator; but tormenting herself was exactly what she needed right now. Pain was a powerful ally when you wanted to distract yourself.

This morning she woke up to Bobby moaning sensuously while placing soft delicate kisses around her neck. She laid on her stomach as he worked one of his powerful hands under her tank top slowly caressing upwards raising her shirt in the process. When Esme's top was pushed up to her shoulders, Bobby started to massage her back. She was in heaven. Once he was done liquifying the bones in her back, Bobby focused on Esme's shoulders and neck, then her legs and lastly her feet. T was a puddle of contentment. When he was finished, Bobby rolled her over, pulled her shirt down and slowly started to crawl up her body until they were face to face. Esme couldn't get enough of gazing into his beautiful eyes. She had seen them hard and ice cold in the past; but whenever Bobby looked at her, his eyes were warm and soft and full of emotions. What started as a tender kiss quickly became heated and passionate. They reluctantly pulled apart in order to take in some air. Kissing Bobby felt amazing; but feeling his body on hers was beyond thrilling.

Bobby had made plans to take Esme out for breakfast; but she had declined. Esme knew she had to tell Bobby about her mind reading and thought pushing; it was high time. All in all he took it very well; but Esme felt his stress and how he was fighting not to pull back from her. Deciding to give him some space to digest all she had told him, Esme kissed him good-bye and left for a light workout in the gym. When she returned, Bobby was gone – no note, nothing. She sent him a text; but didn't get an answer. _Everything is fine. Don't worry._ She repeated her mantra of the last hour as she finally entered the conference room.

The men were all assembled and the atmosphere was tense. Ever since they learned about NISE three days ago, the men had been under constant stress. Bull suffered from it the most; but she didn't want to give up on him yet. All in all the Boston and Miami guys started to show a level of stress-related aggression T wasn't happy with.

_Ladies,_ she smiled at the men_. As the accident last night showed we still need to work on your concentration._

Ace shrunk in his seat. He felt like shit because he was the one who dropped her. There was a 16 foot cliff on the compound with a steep gradient that led into the woods. T had lost her grip on the way up the rock as they were free climbing. She had been directly behind Ace and he had just swung his body over the ridge. In his mind, he heard T yelp. He immediately heaved himself over the edge of the cliff. Ace was flabbergasted when he witnessed T dangling from the rock. He flung his hands toward the arm she was using to grasp a protruding rock an arm's length from the top. Ace just couldn't secure a firm enough grip and suddenly T slipped. He laid over the edge horrified as he watched her falling 16 feet. After hitting the bottom, she spiraled down the precipitous slope. Everybody scrambled to get down the cliff and dashed for T. Eventually they found her a hundred yards away, covered in mud and leaves and cussing like a sailor. Although she was badly bruised, everyone was grateful that T didn't hit a tree trunk on her way down.

_What I want to do with you today is a detailed strip and reassembly of a Glock 27. We'll all be connected and see the weapon in our minds. I want you to imagine how you take the firearm in your hands and perform your assigned task for everybody to see. Any questions?_

_Seriously, that's not a real challenge,_ Harvey looked at her annoyed.

_Well, then it won't be a problem for you to help your teammates if needed, _T snarled at him. Dropping her head she took a deep breath before looking up again. _Sorry guys, I feel like shit. Not just from the fall yesterday; but mostly because of withdrawal symptoms from the Blue. Alright, let's get going then. Ram, you start. Imagine I'm the chick next door and don't know shit about guns._

_Wait, _Cal butted in firmly._ Would it be easier for you if we forgo our bottles of Blue?_ As big and scary looking as he was, Cal was one of the most warmhearted Rangemen T had come to know. She was touched by his concern. Carmen, however, had tested each of the men after they had found T's diagnosis; but they were all fine. One bottle per day over a defined period of time wouldn't hurt them; but Cal considered the torment T faced and knew the men would happily abstain from the Blue for her.

T looked at the bottle in front of Cal full of the blue liquid she yearned to taste. It was cruelly calling for her. The pull to grab and drink down the elixir was powerful; but she had promised Bobby to be strong and she would. _Thank you, Cal; but no. It's fine so far. I'm not on the edge of killing someone for it,_ she smiled gratefully at him.

_OK sweet cheeks,_ Ram grinned at T who was glaring back at him. _What? … You said you'd be the chick next door. Anyway, first you have to check that your gun is completely unloaded. For that, you have to remove the magazine. To do so you push the magazine stop and the magazine slides down._

_Don't just tell me Ram – I'm a real chick; you have to show it to me, _T smiled. She had produced the memory of a Glock 27 into their minds._ Now, imagine how you push the stop and the magazine slides down._

Ram was struggling. Imagination had never been a strength for him, that's why he was a sniper for heaven's sake - nothing to imagine there. He did accomplish his task; but afterward was ready to call it a day. This was supposed to be easy!

_Good work Ram. Now, what do I do next Zero?_

Zero closed his eyes and concentrated on the picture in their minds. _Next, you check the chamber. Keep your finger away from the trigger! You grab the slide and pull it back. The round in the chamber pops right out. _Everybody could see a round fall down on a table from the Glock in Zero's hand.

That's the way they continued around the table; but the already tense atmosphere was getting more and more aggressive as the men started to argue over the correct way to dismantle specific parts.

_Willow? I want you to start taking apart the slide._

Willow grinned._ Sure boss. Firstly, you turn the slide facing up. There is a tab which is the back of the striker. _He imagined the tab on the slide. _Use the Glock tool to push up the tab. Once the striker tab is in the up position, the spacer sleeve is visible._

_Bull?_

Bull was nervous. He was Ranger's cousin and the youngest on the team. Over the last three days, he'd gotten a lot of heat whenever he did something wrong. He tried to imagine the slide; but couldn't concentrate; his mind was blank. He could feel the presence of the others in his head, heard their mental ramblings and sensed their increasing hostility. Suddenly, it was as though they were all closing in on him. His heart started to race and he gulped for air.

_Fuck! Harvey, take his hands, massage them, _T ordered._ NOW! _She thundered when Harvey didn't react._ Quickly, we have to get him out of this spell. If his mind shuts down, his body will, too. _In seconds T had limped around the table to Bull. He was still gulping air and sweating profusely._ Rub his shoulders, _she pushed to Harvey and Scotch while she took over massaging his sweating hands._ It's OK Bull. Everything is fine. It's all just in your head. I want you to concentrate on me, and me alone. I will now press and release your hands. On every press I want you to exhale, on the release you will inhale. We do this together big guy. _Breathing with T, Bull slowly calmed down. When he finally looked up his eyes were teary.

"I can't do this boss. I'm sorry," he stumbled, stood up and darted out of the room.

"Furor, go after him and bring him back. I want him to finish this," she signed.

_Furor will bring him back and you will fucking help and support him – here and outside of this room! No jokes, no deprecative comments! Do. You. Understand!_ She angrily pushed to the men around the table. _Now back to the task. Binkie, you continue._

Binkie desperately tried to remember where they had been before.

_We put the striker tab in the up position, so the spacer sleeve was visible, _Ram helped.

_OK got it. Thanks man,_ Binkie cleared his throat and concentrated on the gun in his mind. _Now we use the Glock tool and press down on the sleeve. With your thumb at the top, we push off the slide plate cover. It's important to keep your thumb on the top because the underlying parts are under spring pressure._

_That's not important, _Sad interrupted unnerved.

_It is, _Binkie answered irritated. _Otherwise, the underlying parts will shoot right in your face._

_They will not! What idiot trained you?_

_That idiot would be me, _Ram straightened up in his seat and glared at Sad.

_Man, you know that nothing's gonna fly outta there cuz the pressure's not high enough._

Ram stood up and pinned Sad across the table with an icy glare. Slowly but surely he was loosing his cool._ That doesn't matter, Sad. Keeping your thumb on top is still the safest thing to do and so I teach it my students. Do you have a problem with that?_

Sad stared at Ram. He was good; but Ram was better. No sense in antagonizing him._ No, no problem, _Sad shrugged._ Keep your thumb wherever you want it._

_Pissing contest over gentlemen? _T asked frustrated._ Then, Binkie I go with you. Thumb on top is just fine. Sad, you continue._

_After the slide plate cover is off, you push the striker tab with the spacer sleeve up and remove it from the slide. Using the Glock tool again, you sweep below the spring loaded barring and gently pull it up._

At that moment, T saw Zero take a pull from his bottle of Blue. Instantly she was overwhelmed with the urge to rip the bottle out of his hands. Just one mouthful. _No, you can't. You promised,_ she repeated in her mind. T yearned for just one glorious mouthful. Her heartbeat increased, her breathing became ragged and her hands clenched as she fought against the urge to dart over to Zero. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt the men cuss. She was still pushing; but she could care less. It was Lester who suddenly appeared in her field of vision and cupped her face thus blocking her view of the Blue.

_Fuck! _She looked at Les.

_You could say that, _he pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead as he exhaled._ Better now?_

T nodded and shook her head to clear it. When Les went back to his seat, she saw the other men all staring at her._ Welcome to my life, _she grimaced._ Let's continue. Ace?_

Ace took a deep breath and concentrated on the picture in his mind._ By pulling up the spring loaded barring, you remove the extractor depressor plunger and the extractor depressor plunger spring. The spring loaded barring is connected to the top of the spring._

T nodded._ Scar?_

_Next you remove the extractor._

_Stop! _Harvey cut Scar off; obviously bored._ You forgot something!_

Scar frowned._ What? No! After you remove the extractor depressor plunger you remove the extractor._

_He's right, Harvey. Leave him alone, _said Scotch tired. He just wanted to finish this and head to the gym.

_No, he's not right. Who is the sniper of the two of us, eh? This is supposed to be a detail strip. That means every fucking part is going to be stripped._ Harvey countered angrily with his nerves on edge.

_Harvey, calm the fuck down,_ came Ram's angry voice. _You are right, there is something else to be stripped; but that's no reason to jump on your team mates. We are all stressed; get a grip._

_You won't tell me what I have to do! Are we clear? _Harvey was out of his seat. Other men stood up, too and tried to calm him.

T put her pounding head into her hands. This was getting out of control.

_Harvey, take your seat and calm the fuck down, _Ram growled.

_STOP!_ T barked in her mind. _Sit down! Everybody, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Your baby boy attitudes are PISSING ME OF!_ The men all dropped in their seats and stared at her wide eyed. She'd never used that tone with them before. _Scar, _she turned to him,_ before you remove the extractor, pull the barring out from the extractor depressor plunger spring. It's this tiny little white piece that gets very easily lost. _She pushed the picture into his mind. _After that, you can pull the spring off the plunger. Now continue._

Scar took a deep breath._ To remove the extractor you press in on the striker safety; it is spring loaded. You have to jiggle the extractor around a bit like a kid would a loose tooth and it will pop right out._

T felt like a lion tamer in a circus with all the macho males on their allotted pedestals, setting their sights on each other and waiting for the first sign of weakness in order to pounce.

When it was Vince's turn they had already started to strip the frame and removed the trigger group and bar.

_Vince, the trigger grouping?_

_Sure, _he smiled at her._ There's a spring that connects the pieces of the trigger grouping._

Everybody was so focused on the dismantled Glock in their minds that nobody heard Bobby silently enter the room. He leaned back against the wall next to the door and watched the absolutely silent room. Many of the men had their eyes closed, some of them their heads in their hands and they all seemed to be deep in thought. Bobby shook his head. Before this morning, he would have frowned at the sight of twenty mercenaries in a zen-like state with closed eyes, totally unaware of their surroundings. However, since Esme's confession, everything 'magical' around her suddenly made sense. He searched the room for his Wonder Woman and found her at the front with her head in her hands. She looked tense.

_Come on Vince, concentrate._

_Yeah, yeah. To remove the trigger bar you have to lift and tip it back. Then wiggle and pull it off from the rest of the grouping. Then you remove the trigger spring that is hooked to the trigger bar._

_Since when can you remove the trigger spring? _Scotch asked puzzled.

_Like forever you idiot, _Harvey growled.

_Harvey, if I hear one more demeaning comment from you our next talk is on the mats, _Esme thought frostily. She had enough of his attitude.

"What the fuck … You know what, T? Nothing against you; but I'm so fed up with all these kids' games." Harvey spoke out loud.

"Harvey, shut the fuck up," Vince's voice was ice cold as he glared at the man across from him.

"Fuck you, Vince. Do you know how pathetic it is to see you so pussy whipped by a woman who won't let you fuck her?"

In a split second Vince was out of his chair. "You better watch what you say, asshole. You are talking about our boss here," he snarled.

"Harvey, Vince, enough!" Ram barked over their noise.

"Fuck off, Ram! You're no better than Vince. Keep thinking of fucking her, don't ya? The whole time I've kept silent; but now it's enough." Harvey's voice started to get louder. "We are fighting against a superior opponent and instead of training hand-to-hand, close combat or our shooting skills we are sitting here like some mental fuckers. We are grown men playing 'pack your bag,' doing puzzles and mentally dismantling a Glock. What is this? A Kindergarten?"

"Harvey, ENOUGH!" Lester thundered.

Knock and Ace tried to calm Harvey down; but to no avail. "This team, this 'mind work' - that's a load of bollock," Harvey yelled. "How do you plan to successfully complete this fucking mission? Fuck, Bull just got a panic attack at the thought of pushing off the slide plate cover. He's a softy and just on this team because he's the boss' cousin. If those fuckers at NISE don't kill us, he will do the job for sure."

Lester and Ram started to go around the table toward Harvey who was held in place by Knock and Ace.

"Fuck!" Harvey yelled as he turned to T. "Some of us are merely weekend mercenaries. Instead of training us thoroughly, you are continuously getting knocked out due to your fucking clumsiness and end up in the hospital. You can barely move today. Now, you're suffering withdrawal like a fucking street junkie. Are you sure you are up to the task to lead us through this shit? Shouldn't you step back and let one of the clean guys here do the job you aren't capable of doing?"

The whole time, T had held her head in her hands and listened to the said words; but even more to the feelings that were coursing through the men. To her dismay, she found agreement in some of them. Criticism was part of the job and she could deal with that; but enough was enough. She wouldn't let someone insult her. Calmly, T stood up and went over to Harvey. He never saw the punch that spun his head backwards and sent him straight into unconsciousness coming. Slowly, she turned around to the men, her eyes blazing with anger, and took a deep breath.

_Rev, please translate for me I'm too fucking angry to push one more thought._ "Apparently several of you have problems with the way I'm training you. It's a pity that I have to find it out this way. I thought I had made it clear from the beginning that you can always come to me, no matter what your problem is or how insignificant it seems to be. I suggest that you all do some serious soul-searching and question yourself on whether you want to continue our teamwork. You want somebody else as leader, fine. I don't need this job to mark any imaginary territory or win a fucking pissing contest. All I want is this drug destroyed, those hostages rescued and NISE brought down. That is all that keeps me going. We'll meet back here at 1500 hours and discuss our future proceedings."

Suddenly, T saw Bobby standing next to the door with Furor and Bull at his side. "Proud of you!" He signed with a radiant smile. T limped as quickly as she could around the table and hurled herself into his waiting arms. In a second, Bobby had his hands under her thighs, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. God, she had longed to be in his arms since her confession this morning. How could he disappear from the apartment without leaving her a note? Somewhere far, far away they heard the men whooping and whistling; but they didn't give a shit as their tongues were swathed in a passionate kiss. Later, Bobby wouldn't be able to remember how he managed to maneuver them out of the conference room and down the hall to the elevator. A cacophony of lewd remarks came from the adjacent offices as they passed entwined with each other. In the elevator, Bobby thought he heard someone clearing his throat, several times; but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered was the woman in his arms and how to get her quickly into his bed – even though nothing would happen there besides some extremely sensuous kissing. God, seeing T knocking out Harvey and putting the men coolly in their place was the fucking sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"God Baby," Bobby groaned into T's neck. He held her pressed against his apartment door with her legs tightly wrapped around him. Bobby was desperately trying not to lose control. His rock hard cock involuntary moved against T's crotch. Arousal was racing through him as hot as lava. Before he could get a grip, his mouth latched on T's neck and he sucked hard, marking her as his. Without warning, he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

"Fuck man, you are on camera!" Lester growled and jammed his hand into Bobby's pocket to retrieve his keys. Once the door was open, Les pulled Bobby inside, let the keys drop to the floor and hightailed it out of the apartment. He was truly happy for his friends; but he didn't need to watch them. He'd known from the beginning that T was untouchable for him; but that didn't change what he was feeling for her.

_Baby?_ Bobby panted heavily as he stood in the hall of his apartment with Esme clutching him.

_Bed,_ came Esme's answer. Bobby was relieved and started to move. He would have stopped. He'd do anything for her; but he felt like he was just short of exploding with need.

Lying her down in the middle of the bed, he stood back up and started to remove her shoes and socks. Once they were gone he knelt down level with Esme's knees. Bobby took her right foot and started to massage the sole and balls with gentle pressure. Esme languorously closed her eyes while he moved on to her ankle and further to her calf as far as her cargoes would allow him. On her leg he could feel her soft short hair that he had detected there this morning. It was so short and fine that she didn't necessarily had to shave; but he wondered whether she'd allow him to do it. He had a thing for shaving his beloved. A soft whistle made him look up.

"Whenever you want," Esme signed.

Bobby's breath hitched and he felt his cock twitch in its cramped confines. Taking a long, deep breath he laid her right foot down and moved over to her left, giving it the same loving massage as the other one.

"Miss Torres," he signed after he had finished his handiwork. "You make me forget my hitherto existence and open totally unknown emotional depths for me. I feel like for the first time in my life I've really started to live." With that he let his hands slowly slide up her cargoes. His grip was firm but gentle. When he reached the back of her knees, he stopped and for a while just drew lazy circles. Esme's eyes closed and her legs started to topple over. That's how he wanted her to be; all relaxed and trusting. Inch by inch his hands moved upwards. Bobby was careful to avoid the inside of Esme's thighs in order to avoid triggering fearful memories. Once he reached her hips, Bobby lifted her shirt a few inches and kissed along the waistband of her pants. In a random pattern, Bobby alternately licked, placed soft kisses, nipped the skin between his teeth or sucked gently. The zipper of his cargoes was pressing on his hypersensitive glans and the pain was arousing. With every kiss, every taste of Esme's velvety skin, his arousal increased further. Her scent and taste were intoxicating. Taking her shirt between his teeth, he pulled it up a couple more inches and laid a second row of nips and kisses on her stomach.

Esme had long lost her grip on reality. Being with Bobby was the most wonderful thing she'd ever experienced in her life. Everything around her including every voice in her head melted away and the only thing left were Bobby and she wrapped up in silence. Their combined feelings were coursing through her body and the sensation was so intense; she couldn't tell where her body ended and his began or which feelings belonged to whom. The moment they started to kiss everything between them whirled and she was a goner. When Bobby gently bit down on her hip bone, something in her clenched with need and her pelvis shot upward. Grabbing his shirt, Esme pulled Bobby up to her face and kissed him hungrily. For a split second, he was astounded by her forwardness; but then Esme felt something in him snap and with a moan he pressed her down into the mattress. His body grounded into hers. Esme felt every bit of his arousal, felt the strain in his cock, the dizziness in his head as if it was hers and it just intensified her own feelings and longing. All at once, it became too intense. The whole time she had focused on keeping her mind to herself; but now her control was slipping and the urge to push everything back to him became overwhelming. As Bobby bit down and sucked hard on Esme's pulse point, her whole body pushed into him while his mind was washed over with a tidal wave of her arousal, longing, need, wishes and fears. The mental assault hit him totally off guard. As he laid squarely between Esme's legs, he could not stop the movement of his cock as it slammed into her waiting pelvis. He felt an enormous release claiming him. In his head, Bobby screamed at himself to stop; but it was too late. Helplessly he had to feel his groin jerk forward again and again.

"FUCK!" He cussed, panting hard. "What the fuck was that?" He abruptly rolled away from Esme who stared at him wide-eyed. She was shocked; she had just experienced the orgasm of a male body in her mind and felt shaken. When Bobby looked at her angrily, she shrunk and hastily scooted away from him. For a moment, Esme registered confusion in his eyes before they widened in shock.

"Baby, no, no, please! I'm not angry with you - I'm angry with myself!" Bobby quickly closed the distance between them and pulled her gently into his arms. "_I'm sorry if I glared at you, Sweetie. Believe me, it has nothing to do with you. Honestly, Baby. I'm just embarrassed and angry with myself_," he nuzzled her hair.

_Why are you angry? What just happened?_

Bobby sighed and tightened his arms around her. "_I'm so sorry that I scared you, Baby. I'm angry at myself cuz I just totally lost control and came in my pants. The last time that happened I was thirteen_," he chuckled. "_I feel like a fucking teenager_."

_Was that what I felt when suddenly everything in you down there was convulsing?_

Bobby pulled back and looked at her astonished. "You felt that?"

Esme nodded and quickly wiped a tear that threatened to fall. "What does that mean? Tell me what just happened, Bobby?" she signed with shaking hands.

"Oh Baby, please, don't be afraid. Everything's going to be fine." Bobby took Esme's cold hands, put them on his chest and rubbed them. "Listen, I need to clean myself up and then I'll explain everything to you, OK?"

When Bobby came out of the shower a few minutes later, the bedroom was deserted. Sighing he put on some boxer briefs, sweat-pants and one of his comfy Army shirts and pondered how to explain what just happened to Esme. Judging by her prior reaction, it seemed that nobody had ever had a birds and bees talk with her. He was stunned; but then who would have talked to her? Suddenly a heavy, warm happiness spread through his body – he would be her first. Theoretically, he'd known that before; but it felt as if now the fact had finally reached his brain. He was the first to kiss her, the first to love her and one day he'd be the first to make love to her. That thought let a dazzling smile spread over his face. There was so much for her to discover, not just with regard to sex. He'd make sure she'd have a lot of memorable firsts.

* * *

_**A/N: Hello all my dear readers out there. That was 'Loosing Control' from me for you. I want to send out some ear deafening vuvuzela sounds to my Beta who transcribe 4 (!) youtube-videos of a guy doing a detailed strip and reassembly of a Glock so I can present you with 'real knowledge' ... THAT's research! **_

_**Anyway, I want to let you know that I will be off for about three weeks; but then we'll take off again. Next chapter will include Bobby explaining the birds and bees to Esme ... that part is already finished and it's so (sigh) heartwarming. And of course there need to be a decision how to continue with the mission. Will the team diss T? Will they stick to her? I hope you stay tuned and thanks to my guest reviewer - I hope the cold shower helped (cheshirecat grin)**_


	37. Chapter 37 - Changes

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: I know I let you hanging for a while; but now I'm back and full of ideas how to continue from here. Please, be my guests and I hope you enjoy. xox :-)_**

* * *

**Chapter 37 – Changes**

Bobby entered the living room to find Esme on the reclined love seat with Moose and Shazam cradled to her chest.

"Hey sweetie," he bent over and kissed her tenderly. "You three look comfy. Can I join you?"

Esme smiled at him and made room so he could spoon her.

"Listen Bobby," she signed once he was comfortable. "You don't have to…"

That was all she could say before Bobby stilled her hands and rolled her on her back so he could look deep into her peridot green eyes. "Listen my love, while I was in the shower I thought about your reaction earlier. I guess nobody has ever told you about what happens between a man and a woman when they make love, right?" Esme blushed and hesitantly nodded. "Hey," he kissed her lovingly. "There's no need for shame or embarrassment. Talking about sex and everything that's part of it is the most natural thing on earth. OK?" Esme's eyes were wide and her heart was racing like a freight train; but she nodded and Bobby pulled her back against his chest so that they were once more spooned.

"We start with the basics," Bobby signed. "Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." That was all he got out before Esme's elbow hit him in his side making him laugh out loud. "Alright, alright, I guess that means that you already knew that." Esme turned her head and grinned at him. Her eyes were still wide; but sparkling and no longer filled with trepidation. Bobby couldn't resist kissing her again. The moment their lips met, Esme opened her mouth and their warm tongues caressed each other. She tasted heavenly and Bobby instantly felt everything in him clench as arousal washed over him. When their breathing became ragged, he pulled back, leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

"God Baby," he whispered. Admittedly, it was liberating to know she didn't need to see his lips to hear him. "I love you so much that I forget everything around me when we are together." After calming his libido, Bobby pulled back and kissed the palm caressing him.

"I really want to have this talk Esme so you know what is going on and hopefully realize that there's no need to be scared. Can you deal with that?"

When Esme nodded, he kissed her again but kept it short before he once more snuggled her in his arms.

"OK, here we go. The male penis has three spongy bodies; one at each side and one on the underside. When I have an erection, which means my penis gets all hard and stiff like earlier, there is an increased blood flow into those spongy bodies while at the same time the drain is constricted. Thereby more and more blood pools in those bodies and the penis erects. That can happen due to sexual arousal like whenever you are near me," he smiled and tenderly nipped at Esme's ear, "but it also happens for plain physical reasons. For example, during the night every man has several erections to stimulate the blood circulation and train the spongy bodies. The erection I have in the morning when I wake up is nothing but a hangover of the last of those nightly erections. Do you understand that, sweetie?" He tightened his arms around her. "Just because I have an erection doesn't mean that I am necessarily sexually aroused and in no way does it mean that I will jump at you within the next second to force myself on you!" Bobby scooted back a bit and turned Esme on her back so he could look into her eyes. Entwining their fingers he kissed each of her knuckles before holding her hand to his chest. "I know we've only been together for a couple days; but we've known and occasionally seen each other over the past six years. These last two months have been hard on both of us. I love you baby, I would **never** in my whole life hurt you or force myself on you. Whatever happens between the two of us will happen because **we both** want it. Remember? **You** have all the power and I will happily comply to your wishes."

Esme processed that for a minute. "You get aroused whenever I am near you?" she eventually signed.

"Yes baby," he smiled lovingly.

"Why?"

"Because you are the most beautiful woman I know – inside and out – and I'm deeply in love with you. Whenever you are near me, I want to cuddle with you, kiss you and … just simply 'be' with you."

"How does it feel to be aroused?"

"Hmmmm … that differs from person to person. I feel my pulse increasing, I have butterflies in my stomach, sometimes my cheeks get all hot, my breathing gets ragged and my knees become jell-o; but most of all I feel this absolutely overwhelming longing to pull you into my arms and kiss the living daylights out of you – no matter who's watching us," Bobby grinned at her.

Esme gazed into his eyes, losing herself in their warm, brown depth. She pulled up the memories of how she felt when Bobby was around and it was nearly the same. Lifting her hand, Esme started to caress Bobby's cheek and watched him in wonder as he closed his eyes. _I think I love you, too, and I think I'm aroused by you._

Immediately, Bobby's eyes popped open. "You think?"

Esme nodded. _I've never been in love before or knowingly aroused; but I feel what you feel. _She hesitated for a moment._ May I show you?_

Bobby frowned confused what she could mean; but nodded his consent.

Suddenly, his whole mind was filled with feelings; but not his own. Those were Esme's feelings. The sensation was incredible. They appeared to run through his veins, filling his body, feeling like they were his own; but then again they were not. It was more like a second layer that mingled with his own. First came humor, laughter and happiness when she read his emails. Then, it changed to longing and impatience when he hadn't answered fast enough. He saw himself through her eyes; like a movie that was playing in his head. Their first morning when she woke up in his arms; their first kiss and how it felt for her. Bobby moaned. Next, came the feelings when she saw him downstairs in the conference room; their suddenness and intensity were overwhelming. Was it always like that for her? With such intensity? Bobby wondered. Then their passionate kissing in the elevator, in his bed. Bobby's breathing got ragged in response. Unexpectedly, everything became a blur. His feelings, Esme's feelings, everything seemed to whirl together and raced first through her body and now through his. For a split second, Bobby felt that Esme had wanted more. She had wanted for him to pull her clothes off and make slow, passionate love to her. That longing quickly fizzled and turned into fear as he felt his own release through her mind. God, he had scared her. He felt every muscle in her tense, felt the adrenaline surge as if it was happening in his body. He knew he was panting; but before he could shake his head and try to free himself from those impressions, a new movie started. It was him and Esme lying on this recliner. He was holding her, kissing her, talking to her, and he could feel the security he gave her, the warmth, the safety, the increasing longing; but even more the unconditional trust she had in him. Then the movie was over and peridot green spheres where gazing at him.

"Oh baby," Bobby took a shuddering breath. "I … I don't know what to say … I'm … I'm overwhelmed with emotions … that was incredible … beyond words," he took another deep breath. "Thank you for sharing this with me; but most of all thank you for trusting me. I know it's the most precious gift you can give me." He hadn't realized that a single tear was running down his cheek until Esme caught it and licked it from her finger. For a moment, she looked into Bobby's eyes as if searching for something. Then she slowly lifted her head toward him; just a bit. Bobby stayed still and gazed at Esme with a look of love and longing. She prudently closed the remaining distance and pressed her lips to his. First, she just firmly brushed them from side to side; but then she started to nip at his lower lip and Bobby moaned – loud and long while his whole body shuttered. From one second to the other, his arousal was back in full force.

Reluctantly pulling back, he cupped Esme's face. "Baby, you feel my erection?"

Esme nodded.

"Does it scare you?"

Esme smiled fondly and with a flirtatious look in her eyes, shook her head no.

Bobby caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. "That's good because there is no reason to be afraid. Sweet Baby," he playfully groaned, "I won't be able to continue our talk now. Well, at least not while I am kissing you."

That made Esme laugh silently. _We will have to continue that talk another time then. _She nipped at his lower lip. _I want you to kiss me now, please._

Bobby's smile was blinding. His baby trusted him so much that she had just voiced her first precise wish regarding her sexual longings. His passion was thumping hot and fast through his body; but this time he was prepared. This time he would take care that there was nothing but lust and happiness for her. Yeah, he'd make sure there'd be a lot of memorable firsts for his girl.

The two love birds could barely keep their hands from each other when they stood in the kitchen two hours later. They were preparing salad and sandwiches for lunch and were necking like teenagers when there was a knock at the door.

_That's my guys,_ Esme frowned and went to open the door.

"Hey Angel," Rage greeted her. "Whooaaa, jeez, Bobby what have you done to her," he hollered into the apartment as he passed her.

Esme paused and frowned. "Furor, what's wrong with me? What does he mean?"

Furor smiled at her and hugged her close. _Nothing to worry about Angel. You just look thoroughly kissed plus you're sporting some very obvious hickeys._

Agony entered next and moved her hair around to look at her neck with narrowed eyes.

_Stop! Agony, don't,_ she put a hand on his forearm reading his mind.

Sighing, he caressed her face. "Are you happy my sweet Angelito?"

_Happier than I've ever been in my life,_ she smiled radiantly.

"If he hurts you…" Agony started.

_You will mash him to mush so that even the best CSI team won't be able to identify him. He knows,_ Esme smilingly rolled her eyes. _Wasn't it you who wanted this for me, you overprotective dork?_

"That was before I was made to realize that he's a blood sucking vampire," he made a face at her and grinned while hauling her over his shoulder.

Ten minutes later they were all sitting around Bobby's dining table.

"Angel," Furor signed. "We four had a talk downstairs while you were," he looked at Bobby and grinned, "otherwise occupied."

Esme just rolled her eyes and smiled then stuck her tongue out.

"Anyway, we decided unanimously that, in case the Rangemen vote against you as spearhead, we won't be part of the mission team any longer. We go with you as leader or we don't go at all."

Esme sat back and stared at them speechless.

"You can't mean that," she signed after a while.

"We are dead serious," Rage signed back. "Angel, you are our leader. In you we trust. We won't follow anyone but you into this deadly situation."

"But…" Esme struggled for words. "But those hostages down there need you, need us. The drug has to be destroyed and we need to bring NISE down so Rubén is safe." She looked from one of her brothers to the next. "We've never ever chickened out before."

"Angel, this has nothing to do with chickening out." Furor took her hands. "These last two months have been a learning experience for each one of us. After your drop from that hangar roof, we were in deep shock. Suddenly, fate confronted us with the possibility of loosing you. Sure we risk that every time we go out there on a rescue; but that's something else. That drop was an eye-opener for us. Next, the attempted assassination was again a shock to our systems. Have you any idea how it felt for us to see you, our beloved little sis, standing in front of that window pane with that bullet lodged into the glass right at your head? Now we just had to realize that we unknowingly helped in poisoning you." Furor took a deep breath. "A few years back we might have been a pack of disturbed mercenaries; but you made us a family. We love each other like brothers and can't stand the thought of losing any one of our family – least of all you. This isn't just about this mission, Angel. We are thinking about stopping this suicide shit altogether. We can see how happy you are with Bobby and whatever happens with Rubén, he'll be part of our family, too, should that be what he wants. We want to see you blossom and be happy – you deserve that so much. We want to have an active part in your happiness and not watch the whole thing from six feet under. Can you understand that, Esme?"

Esme sat shell-shocked in her chair while her brothers waited how she would react. She had read every word Furor had signed and her mind struggled to process them; but what made her shudder to her core was that he had called her Esme. None of the guys had called her Esme in years. Not since that day four years ago when she joined the team and became Terror.

It took Esme some time; but finally she got out of her frozen state of shock and a heated discussion ignited. Now they were on their way downstairs to the conference room. The atmosphere between the team, CP, Button and Esme was tense. Bobby would wait outside the room; but he wanted to come downstairs with her for moral support. At that moment Esme understood what Bobby meant yesterday when he said, 'That's the up-side of being in a relationship – there's always someone to lean on when you need them' – she was so thankful for his presence.

"Remember sweetie, whatever happens in there – I'll be at your side every step of the way. Don't let them get to you," Bobby held her tight and lovingly stroked her back. When he loosened his grip, Esme pulled his face down and pressed a firm kiss on his lips. Then she turned and entered the conference room after her team.

The moment Esme turned away from Bobby, she pulled her T persona up and became all business putting her emotions on the back-burner. Now she stood in front of sixteen A-class mercenaries and expected them to talk turkey. She was done with taking shit. _Gentlemen, you had time to think about how you want to proceed from here onward. What's the bottom line?_

Lester rose to speak, two pairs of green eyes meeting each other over the table. "Nothing will change, Beautiful. You are the fucking best operative for this mission there is and we want you to lead us."

T held his eyes for a while before she sadly looked down at her hands. As stupid as it may sound, she wasn't used to being shut down and felt a hollow pain in her chest. After some deliberate breaths she pushed into everybody's mind, _That's a lie Les and you know it. Harvey, Willow, Ace, Bull and Zero don't believe me to be the best choice for this assignment._ T closed her eyes and leaned back into her chair. Five Rangemen out of sixteen didn't trust her. She took a deep breath and slowly let the air escape. Snippets of the discussion with her guys popped up in her mind. Esme thought of her feelings for Bobby, waiting for her outside the door to the conference room, and how she longed to be in his arms again. Then her thoughts went to Rubén. She wanted to be with him; she missed him so much. Life was so hard at the moment. In a flash, she felt tired; tired of her life, tired of the constant fighting, tired of always being strong. She wanted to be weak. She wished to be taken care of, she longed for … the ease, security and comfort that came with the two men that she loved.

Never before had Esme been so sure about what she wanted than in that moment of clarity. She straightened up vigorously and leveled her gaze at the surrounding Rangemen.

_My apologies to those being loyal to me and I'm sorry for those who hope for rescue and whom I now turn my back against. Effective immediately, I resign from this assignment. I am not willing to put my life and the lives of those trusting in me on the line with the risk of someone not having my back when push comes to shove. I will now go and inform Ranger about this new situation. Please come home safe._ With that T stood up and left the room, leaving the pandemonium that broke out about her declaration behind her.

The moment T closed the door to the conference room, she was spun around, her feet left the ground and she was wrapped into a tight hug.

"Hey baby, I'm so sorry," Bobby nuzzled her neck while he spoke. Esme felt his warm breath caressing her skin and immediately felt better. For a few precious moments, she allowed herself the pleasure of being enveloped by the safety that came with Bobby's embrace before she squeezed him, pulled back and put her brow against his.

_I need to go up to Ranger. Will you wait for me on eight? I think I need some tlc afterward._

"Sure Baby, send me a thought should you need me in the meantime," Bobby said with a smile leaving a quick peck on her nose.

_Ranger, I need to talk to you. Now._ T stood in front of the man she liked and disapproved in equal amounts and wondered how he'd take it. He led her into his living room and went to the kitchen to get two water bottles.

_I heard there was some tension at your mental training session?_

_That is correct. I gave the men a few hours to think about what they want and the verdict was that eleven wanted to continue our training and five didn't. I just told your men that effective immediately I resign; the decision is final. There is no sense in continuing without their one hundred percent loyalties. I'd still like to interrogate Ice as soon as the guys deem him stable enough and furthermore I will investigate NISE and the secret Fogger since they pose a direct threat to Rubén. The findings I will of course share with you._

Ranger sat across from her, his blank face firmly in place. Deliberately he took a pull from his water bottle and tried to reign in the enragement he was feeling. This had caught him by surprise. What the bloody fuck! He had let this girl take over command and now she fails completely, running like a crybaby because the big bad mercenaries had bumped her around a bit? She may have an unchallenged set of skills; but when all was said and done, she was nothing more than an overwhelmed pussy. Controlling his rage he took deep breaths and concentrated on slowing down his heart rate.

_Don't do that Ranger. I know what you're thinking anyway._

A sophisticated steel and glass coffee table was all that separated her from the ice cold stare and hostile man in front of her. His jaw was clenching in time with his fists as he menacingly glared at the woman in front of him.

"You came here and turned everything upside down. You insisted on taking over the command and I complied since I thought you were capable of meeting the requirements. Obviously, that was a fault on my part. You have one hour to leave my building."

_I see. In that case I have to inform you that my team decided unanimously that they won't follow anybody else's lead but mine. The same goes for Button and CP. We'll all be gone within an hour._ T lithesomely rose from the couch, turned and left the apartment without another glance back. She hadn't expected this; but she wouldn't let him know that.

_Guys,_ T pushed her thoughts to the Inferna Angelus while she slowly went down the stairs. _We have sixty minutes to pack our stuff and clear the building. Furor, Button – I want you to check on Ice. We won't be allowed to come back; get his condition so we can estimate when I can link myself with him. V, CP – pack the medical stuff. Don't leave anything behind; check thrice on the drugs. Rage, Rev, Agony – get our weapons and stuff together. If anything is at the compound, go there and pick it up. Don't forget anything. You have forty minutes, then we'll clear out the apartments. I'll be down at Bobby's and see whether he knows a place where we can stay._

_Aye Boss!_

Esme opened the door to Bobby's apartment, stepped in, leaned back against it and slowly slid down until she sat on the floor. When Bobby looked around the corner to his living room, the smile that was plastered across his face vanished when he saw her huddled on the floor against the door. He felt like someone had his heart in a vice grip.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" He was next to her in a second and held her tight in his arms; but Esme just shook her head no. After a minute, she crawled onto his lap and buried her face in his neck. She wanted to be far away with him … Denali, she wanted to be in Alaska with him. All alone and on their way there they could pick up Rubén. Taking a shuddering breath she leaned back and looked into Bobby's concerned eyes.

_We have,_ Esme looked at her wristwatch, _50 minutes to leave the building. The guys are already packing. Do you know a place where we can stay undetected? I still want to interrogate Ice once he's stable enough._

Bobby looked at her speechless.

"He kicked you out?" he signed after a minute; wrath licking at him with hot fiery tongues.

_Don't,_ Esme leaned her forehead against Bobby's and closed her eyes, _don't let yourself get consumed by fury. I need you strong and with a clear head cuz I'm really not at my best at the moment._

Bobby momentarily squeezed his love and took some deep breaths to get his feelings under control. _Tell me, Baby. How can I help._

_We need a place to stay; but I want Ranger to believe we left town and once I start interrogating Ice I don't want him to immediately guess where we could be. Any idea? _Esme snuggled back into the warmth of his arms.

For twenty minutes they did nothing but bounce around different possible hideouts; but none of their ideas would withstand Ranger's brilliant mind. Frustrated, they found their way down to Esme, Agony and Rev's apartment and started packing their stuff; the whole time cudgeling their brains for where to go. One by one the IAs turned up and with ten minutes to spare they had cleaned out the three apartments and were all assembled around their three Escalades in the parking garage. Agony, Rev, Rage and Bobby meticulously checked the SUVs for trackers while the four IA medics packed all their stuff into the cars when the ding of the elevator alarmed them.

Lester stepped into the garage and looked at the buzzing commotion playing out in front of him. His posture was emanating fury as he locked eyes with T. Determined, he walked over to her and put a neatly folded piece of paper into her hand. Then he cupped her face and kissed her. Not a chaste peck, or quick, shy kiss. No, Lester kissed her like there was no tomorrow. It was sweet, loving and at the same time passionate and the firm brush of his lips produced a small tingle in Esme's lower abdomen. It was nothing like with Bobby; but it was there and she gave Lester what he so desperately yearned for. Kissing him back, she felt him shudder in her arms and moan. In the back of her mind she was aware of Agony and Rev detaining Bobby and was thankful for that. Lester was hurt and deeply disappointed by Ranger's behavior, scared of dying on that fucking mission; but most of all he was despaired of losing his two best friends – Bobby and her. Esme wanted to grant him his wish for this one kiss.

When he finally pulled back seconds or minutes could had passed; Esme didn't know. Lester was a damn good kisser as far as she could tell. Guiltily, he put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. _Forgive me, Beautiful. I'm not sure I will survive this FUBAR mission and I didn't want to die without kissing you at least once. On the paper, you find the address and security code to my house here in Trenton. The interior isn't finished; but absolutely nobody knows about it – not even my dumbass of a cousin, Ranger. I bought and started to work on it for when I'd be ready to settle down. It was my little secret and now it is our little secret. Use it whenever you need it._

With that he took a step back, gave her a chaste kiss on her lips and then turned around. On his way to the elevator he passed his furious best friend. "Sorry Bobby. I know that was totally out of line; but I really needed to do that. You can kill me later, I promise."

Esme looked speechless at the still folded piece of paper in her hands when the elevator dinged, announcing Lester's leave. He was such a great guy; she truly hoped she would see him again.


	38. Chapter 38 - The Fight

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

_**A/N: Hey everybody, from now on the storylines of the Rangemen and IAs will separate for a while before finding back together. I'll try to compensate that by jumping back and forth between those two parties, indicating it by explicit headlines. Should it become too confusing at one point please give me a feedback. Now, be my guests - I'm happy to have you with me.  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 38 – The Fight**

**Chestnut Alley, Trenton, 23:00 hours**

Lester's house was a treasure. It was an old modest home full of character situated in a peacefully, charming neighborhood. One where they thought Ranger would never guess to look for them. Esme immediately loved it.

The wooden floor boards creaked when the heavy guys stepped on them and it had a distinct smell, telling of all those decades it guarded its inhabitants. Lester wasn't kidding though when he said the house still needed some work. The only rooms that had been finished were the kitchen, bathrooms and master bedroom.

The guys had gladly left the finished bedroom to Esme; but not before giving Bobby a truck load of shit about him being their Angel's boy toy. Most of the bantering centered around T having more than enough love bites and how they best not be seeing any more. Goodhearted as he was, Bobby took the taunting with a smile. The worst of their teasing came when Esme finally called it a night. She gently tugged at Bobby who nonchalantly rose and followed his woman into their love nest, rolling his eyes at the snickering and kissing noises coming from the guys.

Bobby and Esme laid spooned in the only existing bed and watched the night sky through the window while they contemplated the happenings of the crazy ass day that lay behind them.

"I still can't believe Ranger sent you packing. That's so not him. He has always been farsighted and deliberate in his reactions, his emotions always in check, always a cool and clear head," Bobby signed in front of Esme.

_His flavor has changed lately,_ Esme thought hesitantly.

A shudder run through her body and Bobby heard her teeth clattering.

_Come here baby,_ he pulled the sheet covering them to her shoulders and wrapped her closely up in his warmth. _What do you mean 'his flavor has changed'?_

Esme sighed while she pondered how to explain the change she had perceived in Ranger. _Every mind has a flavor for me,_ she started after a moment. _The flavor is unique. There are no two minds the same, like no chocolate ice cream tastes the same._ She tenderly stroked the arms engulfing her. _Ranger's flavor – it has changed. It's still the same, unique Ranger-flavor; but it's,_ she hesitated, _like there is a sour aftertaste._ Esme's shoulders sagged. She didn't know how to explain it better.

_What do you think that mean?_ Bobby squeezed her reassuringly. _Have you had such a change in flavor before with anybody?_

_I don't know. Perhaps, it means nothing at all._ She became silent for a long minute. _I observed it once before – with Pain. His flavor started to change; but in a completely different way. Eight months later they diagnosed the brain tumor. Besides, I felt that something was wrong with his mind. It was totally different from this … sour aftertaste._

Bobby let that sink while he started to absentmindedly rub Esme's arms and sides. Meanwhile, her whole body had started to shiver. The withdrawal symptoms were still wreaking havoc on her – especially in the late evening and through the night.

Bobby cudgeled his brain. He had last checked Ranger during the last quarterlies just before the IAs came. Everything turned out fine, his blood levels were all perfect. Whatever made him behave that strangely, Bobby was certain it wasn't from a long term illness.

"Bobby?" The movement of Esme's hands brought him out of his mental meandering. She turned in his arms so that she could look in his eyes while she signed. "You and Ranger are friends. I understand if you want to leave because you worry about him. I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between us. I …" she hesitated, "I guess I hold the No.1 position on his shit list now and …" she bit her lip and scrunched her brow, "I don't want you to get caught in the wheels of this FUBAR situation."

Bobby looked at her with love shining in his eyes. Slowly, he leaned over and kissed away the creases on her brow. He lowered his head to nip at her nose and finally tenderly sucked her lower lip from between her teeth. "Listen to me, My Love. You and I are an item now. My place is right here by your side. The moment Ranger decided against you – whatever the reason may have been - he decided against me and he knew that. I know things are tough at the moment; but you are stuck with me. I won't leave you, for nothing in this world."

The tears he detected in the corners of her eyes tore at his heart. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and run away with her; somewhere far away and safe. Shit on the mission, shit on the world. His Boo was supposed to be happy and not wrecked by the willful ignorance and malevolence surrounding her. She was a tough and unrivaled operative – no doubt; but deep inside she hid a very gentle, lost soul that he wanted to nurture.

_I love you._

Bobby's eyes widened. Did he just hear that right?

_I … I'm not good at this; but when I was in the conference room earlier talking to the guys, I realized that I love you._ The thoughts tumbled out of Esme and there was no holding back. _I'm so tired, Bobby. I want it all to stop. I want to be alone with you, somewhere far away. I want us to pick up Rubén and take him with us. I feel like I'm short of falling apart. But I can't stop now. I need the information from Ice and from NISE to keep Rubén safe._ Then Esme let go. She crawled up to Bobby's side, pressed her head into his neck and started to cry; big, fat, devastating tears. Bobby's heart broke for her as he held her tiny, sobbing body in his arms and soothingly rubbed her back until the sobs slowly started to cease.

_I wish I could make you stop this shit; but I know I can't and truth be told a small part of me doesn't even want to cuz you are Rubén's only chance._ Tenderly, he nuzzled her hair and worked a row of small kisses around her ear. _How about we change tactics? You delegate as much as you can on the guys and you let me tend to you. I promise I won't be overwhelming, just regular meals and naps to keep up your strength and tons of tender loving care. How's that sound?_ He nipped at her earlobe.

Esme pushed herself up on her elbows and nodded at him with a tear-streaked face. For the first time in her life, Esme longed for somebody to take care of her.

_I love you._

"Right back at ya, Baby," Bobby signed before he kissed her lovingly.

_Are you angry with me for kissing Lester?_ Esme asked after they had laid spooned again for a while.

_No, Baby. I know he was there for you when I failed you and that grants him my lifelong gratitude. For many years, Les has been my best friend after Rubén, I can just imagine how Ranger's behavior today must have hurt him. That doesn't mean that I'm happy about it and I won't be as understanding with any other man; but with Les today it was OK as long as he leaves it at that one kiss._

_He will. I'm sorry that I kissed him back; but as you said he was there for me and I wanted to grant him his one and only wish._ After a short pause she added with despair evident in her thought. _He doesn't expect to survive the mission. I want him to come back. He's such a great guy._

Bobby pulled her tightly back against his broad chest and enveloped her with his strength and warmth. _He will, even if that means the two of us have to go down there and drag his sorry excuse for a Cuban ass out of the jungle._ Bobby thought and pressed a firm kiss on the side of her neck to underline how serious he was about that. _Now try to sleep a bit, Sweetie. I'm here and will take care that nothing happens to you._

* * *

**Haywood, Ranger's office, same time**

The imposing black man sat across from Ranger and eyed him speculatively.

"You know my loyalty belongs to you and I would never question you in front of the men; but the shit you pulled today was the most fucked-up, dumbassed, egotistical move you've ever had the pleasure of fucking up. Are you demented? How could you sack her?" Tank asked, still incredulous.

"I had my reasons," Ranger answered, sounding indifferent. He was working on next week's shift plan and not once looked up at Tank.

Tank was seething. After Lester got back from the garage and told the rest of the men about T's heave-ho; Les, Ram and Vince came into his office and vented their wrath about the shit Ranger had just pulled. The whole building was in turmoil. Everybody liked Terror and the IAs. They were open, always cooperative and fun to have around. Aside from the five agitators, the men deeply respected them – T especially. Wherever Tank turned, feelings were running high and the men openly railed against their boss. Having T sent packing drove a deep wedge between Ranger and his employees. This wasn't just some uncomfortable tension. Ranger was risking to lose his most precious employees and he didn't seem to be aware of it.

"You don't get it, do you? Today you lost many of your employees' unconditional loyalty. You fucked up, man!" Tank couldn't help the raise in his voice. He was disappointed and angered by his friend and CO. "What's wrong with you? Such a behavior is so not you!"

"It was a fault to let a woman into this building. The moment I saw her I knew she meant trouble," Ranger said without interrupting his work. "Those who aren't happy can leave – I won't hold them back. That goes for you, too."

Tank couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Slowly, he raised himself out of his chair and leaned forward with his fists on Ranger's desk, towering over him; but the man never even acknowledged him. Deliberately, Tank pulled the shift plan from under Ranger's hands and crumbled it into a tiny paper ball.

"If that is your take on this cluster fuck, you are in deep trouble, man. You aren't just about to lose your core employees, you are about to lose your only friends." With that Tank straightened up to his full 6'6", turned and silently left the room without another glance back. What the fuck was going on here. Ranger just hasn't been the man he knew and called his friend. Tank looked over to the control room. Lester was sitting in front of one of the monitor stations. He knew it didn't make sense to talk to Les at the moment so he locked his office and made his way to his apartment on eight. He would keep a very close eye on Ranger to see how this situation developed.

* * *

**Chestnut Alley, Trenton, the next night**

"No. You. Won't." Esme signed with emphasis.

"I will and there's nothing you could say or do to keep me from it," Bobby's eyes were flashing. He didn't care about signing or thinking or whatever. He was angry. They were standing in the middle of the kitchen with the island between them. Esme wanted to give Ice's interrogation a first try and she didn't want Bobby in attendance. At first, he was inclined to accommodate her wish. However, when none of the IAs wanted to answer questions about why Esme didn't want him around, he became suspicious.

"What are you trying to hide from me?" He challenged her.

"Nothing. There's nothing to hide. I just don't want you to be part of it. It's an IA thing; the first time Rev and I will work together in an interrogation. I need my head in the game and not on my boyfriend." Esme was starting to emanate chilly vibes. For no money in the world would she let Bobby be part of one of her interrogations. That would be like a free-ride to lose him.

"Listen to me Esme. I don't know what the fuck is going on here; but you **are** hiding something from me and I really can't stand that. You want a relationship? You need to learn to be honest and let me in – in all areas of your life. Period."

Esme glared at him. She felt trapped and as had been her first reaction to entrapment her whole life long, she attacked. "Are you pressuring me, Mister?" She signed with fiery sparks shooting out of her eyes. "Do you think you can come here and force me into talking by threatening me with the end of our relationship?" She started to walk around the island and stalk toward Bobby. The room temperature was dropping and Bobby felt like his breathing was constricted. "You should be cautious whom you threaten here. You are the last person on Earth that I want to hurt. Don't force me to do something I'll regret. This won't be some Sunday afternoon interrogation. It will be ugly. I'm playing in a whole other league than you. I won't let you be part of it. P.E.R.I.O.D."

"Period? Period?" Bobby lost it. Esme turned and was out of the kitchen before he could react. He caught up with her in the living room, grabbed her wrist and whirled her around. All the IAs were assembled; but he didn't care. Bobby's voice was loud and his face full of anger as he laid into Esme. He hated himself the minute the words left his mouth; but he was scared about what was happening. He didn't want to lose her. Bobby knew he couldn't survive without Esme. It was like watching a car crash; there was nothing he could do about it. "No Missy! You won't run away. We will finish this right here, right now! Threatening me, making my breathing constrict and giving me the chills! That's the way you think you treat someone you love? I don't give a shit whether you're superior to me; but when you can't be honest with me and you willingly consider the possibility of hurting me then we are finished. This relationship is done even before it really started."

Esme stared at him. Suddenly she couldn't get any air and tears welled up in her eyes as she became aware of what had just happened. That was it. Just like that. _Fine, as you wish, _she leveled an icy glare at him. _Consider us done._ With that she turned and deliberately walked out of the living room and up the stairs to the bedrooms. The moment the bedroom door closed behind her, she gulped air, sunk to the floor and opened the flood-gates. Somewhere way back in her mind, through all the anguish in her, she heard Bobby's animalistic cry, mirroring her own pain as he stormed out of the house. Furor and Rage were hot on his heels.

The room was pitch black. Esme wasn't sure whether it had been seconds or minutes that she had laid there; but suddenly she was shoved over the hardwood floor by someone cautiously pushing the door open.

"Oh Angelito," Agony scooped her up and carried her over to the bed. Within seconds, she was hugged close into his side while Rev spooned her from behind. It felt like home – she the filling of an Agony/Rev sandwich. Instead of calming down, the tears came back full force and the guys let her sob and weep for a while.

_You know, it will get easier with the time – the fighting, I mean. The first is the worst. You feel like your world is breaking apart; but with time you realize that fighting is just a part of being in a relationship and that your partner will still be there. Even when, maybe, you did or said something unfair. _Agony and Rev rubbed her shivering body and tried to get her out of her devastation.

_I don't want to get used to it._

_It doesn't have anything to do with getting used to it, Angel. You never do – or better you never should._ Rev squeezed her. _What we mean is that fighting is something normal. It's part of the big game. The longer you are in a relationship, the more often you can successfully battle out disputes with your partner. As time passes, you will feel more secure and not be as devastated anymore each time you argue._

_But … but he called us finished. Just like that._ A truckload of new, fresh tears spilled over Esme's face and despaired sobs wracked her body. _I thought he loved me. He said he loved me. Now he just finished it._

Agony and Rev looked at each other and sighed. They would love nothing more than to beat Bobby to a bloody pulp and make Esme forget about him; but she needed to learn - no matter how hard it was for them to watch their little Angel suffering.

_Listen to me, Angelito,_ Agony shook her a bit to get her attention. _I know what Bobby said hurt. It was not OK. At the same time, it was not OK for __**you**__ to threaten him physically and make him feel your power to browbeat him. You both lost control. That happens when we fight. The only thing important now is, what conclusions you draw from it. I'm quite sure he's as devastated as you are. Now, what do you want? We will support you in whatever you choose; but we know you love him. Angel, go fight for him. Excuse yourself for what you did wrong; but let him know how you feel. Tell him your limits. Talk it through with him and see what happens, how you feel with it. Then go from there._

_See,_ Rev nudged her from behind._ That's why I love this hunk so much. He can talk __**so smart **__when it comes to others; but forget about it when it concerns himself._ That made Esme chuckle and Agony dish out a head slap. Within seconds, they had the best pillow fight ever, giving their little sis a much needed outlet for her tension.

When Rev came downstairs some twenty minutes later, there was no hint of Bobby. Questioningly, he raised an eyebrow at V who lounged in front of the TV.

"Haven't seen them since they stormed out. Is our Angel alright?"

"Yeah, she'll survive. Do you remember your first fight?"

"God, don't remind me. It was hell."

"Well, then you know how she feels right now. I'll go and search for our dumbass," Rev rolled his eyes at V.

He found him together with Furor and Rage on a bench in the nearby park. Lucky for Bobby he looked like shit, otherwise Rev would have read him the riot act; but from the satisfied looks on his brothers' faces the job had already been done – thoroughly.

"Listen and listen good. If you want to be Esme's man you'll have to learn to deal with her. She is smarter, faster, superior to each one of us. Plus, she has a very hot Latin temper that makes it difficult to deal with her from time to time. Can you handle that? If not, then beat it and never come back," he growled at the heap of shit in front of him. "You love her. We all know you do. Now, get your ass back to the house. Your woman needs you! She is devastated. She has absolutely no experience with relationships. She is putting all her trust in you which is … simply amazing. You're a dumbfuck! You went and threw the remains of your relationship in her face? What the fuck were you thinking, you dumbass? She's laying in Agony's arms crying her eyes out cuz she thinks, just like that, you turned your back on her. Do you have any idea what that means for her trust? There's a reason why she didn't want you to be part of Ice's interrogation. She was afraid you'd leave her once you saw what she's capable of doing. Now, you up and left her for much less of a reason. Great way to make her feel secure about you!"

Bobby looked up at Rev towering over him and didn't care for one more word coming from him. In a flash, he was on his feet and running through the park back to the house. Satisfied, Rev smirked and sank between Furor and Rage clasping his hands behind his head.

"Bro, I liked the part about Bobby beating it and never coming back," Rage said turning his head toward Rev. "You had to go and ruin it though."

Rev turned his head and glared at Rage. "What the heck are you talking about, Dumbass?"

"I can't figure out why you added the last part. Do you really think he can handle our Angel?" Rage smirked at him.

"Whether he can handle her or not, she loves that stupid ass. Face it boys," Rev added slapping is brothers on the backs, "we have a new addition to the family."

"Great," Furor rolled his eyes. "Dude, when you growled at him to get his ass back to his woman, I thought I was gonna bust a gut laughing. Did you see the look on his face? I thought we did a number on him; but Rev, you're the man."

"I think I need a beer," was all that Rev could say. "I just hope Agony won't kill him when he barges into the room."

With that, the men strolled through the park back to the house joking about not having to clean up a blood bath.

When Bobby opened the door to their bedroom, Esme just came out of the bathroom. He had met Agony downstairs. Bobby barely heard the threat Agony made on his life as he hurled himself up the stairs. Now, his love stood across from him at the other end of the room. She appeared hurt and fragile and time seemed to have stopped. Slowly, he walked over to her, cupped her face and leaned his forehead against hers. They stood like that for a few precious moments. Their eyes closed and enjoying the sweetness of their closeness.

_I'm so sorry, baby, please forgive me, _Bobby started. _What I said … it was so totally out of line and I'm so sorry._ He took some deep breaths against his own tears before he started again. _I … I just …, _he didn't know how to word it. _I …, _he started again, but then two pillow soft, luscious lips closed over his mouth and Esme kissed him. He felt the wetness of her tears on his skin as he pressed her close to his body. She was pushing all her feelings into Bobby. All the hurt, the despair and then relief, the untold relief as he walked into the room and she became aware that he still wanted her, still loved her. Within seconds, their kiss became an all-consuming fire. Bobby felt himself shuddering and moaning. In one fast move, he lifted her, wrapped her legs around him and with jell-o filled knees shakily carried them over to the bed.

_Baby, I love you. I love you so much. Please forgive me,_ he didn't care that tears were running down his cheek or that he was begging. He'd been such an ass. He needed to make sure she knew how devastated he was about his behavior. _Nothing,_ he passionately kissed and sucked the tender flesh of her neck, _nothing can change anything about how much I love you. _God, he needed her. He needed her so much.

Without his consent, his body surged into hers and he felt her longingly push back in response. He needed to stop. This was wrong. So wrong. He panted. Too fast. Bobby's head was spinning as he tried to get his bearings. His hormones and longing were raging in him, spiraling out of control. BROWN, STOP! He screamed at himself. With a jerk, he rolled over and grabbed some pillows stuffing them between his and Esme's body before he lunged back at her and passionately kissed her.

_Baby, we need to stop. I'm about to lose the grip on my control. Please help me._ His breathing was ragged to the max as he pushed his head into Esme's neck, desperately trying to concentrate on getting his body back in check. After some time, he became aware of two small hands slowly rubbing his back and the soothing feeling that ran through him. Sagging, he let himself sink into the pillows half on top of her. God, that was a close call. Relieved, he snuggled deeper into her. When he felt her hand stroking his neck, he lifted his head and looked into the deep green spheres watching him.

_I'm sorry for playing mind games with you, I really am. I felt trapped and lashed out. I should never have done that. Please forgive. _A single tear was running down her temple that he quickly kissed away.

_It's fine, Baby. We both did shit tonight. We had so much stress lately. Guess, there had built more than just a little tension in us, eh?_ He gave her a small smile.

_You won't leave me, will you?_ God, she looked so vulnerable.

_No, Baby, N.E.V.E.R. Not for any amount of money in the world._

They laid their heads against the other and just breathed together.

_Baby, I'd like to take a bath with you,_ Bobby eventually thought.

_You mean naked? Just the two of us?_ He could taste the fear in her thoughts.

Bobby pulled his head up and looked lovingly into her eyes. _Yes, naked, just the two of us. _Tenderly he brushed a few lose strands of hair out of her face and wiped a stray tear away. _Don't be scared, my love. Nothing will happen besides some kissing, perhaps. I need to feel your naked skin on mine, I need to reconnect with you. To feel assured that you are really here with me and that you are mine. Please, will you do me the favor?_

Esme's eyes were huge, her heart racing like a freight train with both fear and excitement as she nodded. When he picked her up and carried her into Lester's master bathroom some ten minutes later, the lights were dimmed, candles were burning around the tub and the air was filled with an arousing mix of ginger and geranium.


	39. Chapter 39 - Decisions & Consequences

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

_**A/N: Ready for another ride on the emotional rollercoaster? :-)**_

* * *

**Chapter 39 – Decisions & Consequences**

**Chestnut Alley, Lester's bathroom**

_You are so beautiful, _Bobby's eyes were shining with love and devotion as they wandered over Esme. She was wearing ripped jeans and an oversized hoodie she permanently borrowed from Rev. Her eyes were swollen from crying and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail with a disarray of lose tendrils surrounding her face. For Bobby, Esme was the most beautiful woman in the world. As he placed her in the middle of the room, the candles around the tub threw flickering shadows on her desirable face. Her pupils were widened to the maximum, making her eyes nearly black and her breathing had a shuddering quality to it.

She was scared and aroused at the same time; she wanted to turn away and run and yet step closer to Bobby and press her body against his. Deliberately, Bobby took the hem of the hoodie and slowly pulled it over her head. The muted lights of the candles were dancing over her luscious hazelnut skin; it looked so soft, so velvety, shimmering like the finest silk. Bobby slowed his breathing and closed his eyes for a moment. Soon, soon he'd feel her silky skin on his. The feeling of two delicate hands on his chest caused him to reopen his eyes. Esme had taken a step closer to him.

As Bobby gazed into her eyes, he found that they were full of curiosity, trepidation, longing and fear. Slowly, he lifted her tiny hands and sucked on each finger before pressing two tender kisses into her palms.

"This body is yours to command, Baby. Explore him, play with him," he tilted his head down and locked eyes with her, "do whatever you want with him," he whispered as he placed her hands back down on his pecs.

Esme's hands were quivering, her breathing deep, as her eyes roamed over Bobby's chest. He was wearing a tight fitting t-shirt that accentuated his muscles and V-shaped upper body. Finally, her hands began their exploration, caressing first his pecs and then his abs. All the while, her eyes followed her hands in wonder. Esme could feel the muscles below her finger tips, could feel them shivering, tensing, rolling and relaxing. It captivated her. When she reached the belt of his cargoes, she wasn't ready to stop. Letting her fingers follow the rifts of his abs she found her way back to his pecs. Two tiny nubs showed through his tight shirt. She hadn't ever noticed them being erect on one of her guys. Fascinated, Esme drew circles around them and then rubbed over them. Bobby's reaction was instantaneous. She felt the vibration of his moan under her hands, his breathing became ragged. When she looked up, his eyes were closed; but his brow crunched in an effort not to move. She loved him. She loved him for subjecting himself to this enormous control just so he wouldn't scare her, and for so much more. Pressing a kiss between his fabric covered pecs, she grabbed the hem of the shirt and started to pull it up; but didn't get far. Frigging big men. Frustrated she grabbed his belt and pushed a smiling Bobby down onto the rim of the tub.

_You are too tall,_ she stuck her tongue out at him.

Standing between his legs, she pushed his arms up and pulled the shirt over his head. For a moment, they stayed that way. His fingers sensuously skimming the backside of her thighs and their eyes locked in the flickering candlelight. Bobby slowly allowed his hands to travel up her sides, taking the hem of her tank top with them. Finally, he pulled it over her head tossing it to rest among their discarded clothes on the ground. With a playful grin, he leaned forward and kissed along the hem of her sports-bra. When he reached the valley between her breasts he looked up, looking for any sign of trepidation, before he dipped down and tenderly sucked the soft skin between his teeth. Esme stumbled backwards, her eyes wide, her breathing ragged. Bobby stayed still and patiently waited for her to step back between his legs.

"I love you, Baby," he said when she was finally back with him. "Remember, you have all the power, you are in command." He entwined their fingers and tenderly started to lay row after row of kisses on her stomach all the while slowly sliding down the rim of the tub until he was kneeling in front of her. When he finally dipped his tongue into her belly button and suckled at it, Esme shook his hands away and grabbed his head holding it in place. Bobby chuckled as he put a couple small marks around her navel. When he looked up, her eyes were blazing with longing. Never leaving them he lifted his hands and slowly started to open her belt, then the button and zipper of her jeans. They were a tight fit so he let his hands travel under the seam to make sure he wouldn't pull down her panties, too, and slowly wiggled her out of them. The moment she stepped out of the pants the trepidation was back in her eyes so Bobby sat back on the rim of the tub and pulled her close, resting his chin in the valley of her breasts and looking up into her eyes.

_Are you scared, Baby?_

She nodded hesitantly.

_What are you scared of?_

_I … I don't know. That … that you …,_ Esme felt a lump in her throat. A single tear rolled down her cheek that Bobby quickly caught and kissed away.

_Baby, just say the word and we won't do this. It's supposed to be as wonderful for you as it is for me. At any point, should you ever want to stop, we will – no questions asked. Don't do this unless you feel completely comfortable; otherwise it will be for all the wrong reasons._

Esme shook her head no and pulled him into a standing position. Looking at the chest in front of her, she marveled at his trained chocolaty body. Languorously, she nuzzled the tiny patch of soft hair between his pecs and breathed in his unique Bobby-scent. He was way more beautiful than Agony and Rev ever could be; but of course she wouldn't ever dream of telling them.

Taking a shuddering breath she looked down at his belt and the prominent bulge beneath Bobby's pants. With quivering fingers, Esme started to pull the belt open. She wanted this. Deep inside she knew she wanted this. Esme had dreamed of being with Bobby; but those God-forsaken memories, flickering to the surface again and again, were blinding her conviction.

_Hey, are you sure?_ Bobby had stilled her hands and forced her to look up into his eyes.

_Yes,_ she smiled at him, eyes shining with new found curiosity and longing. _Yes, I'm sure. _With a swift move, Esme undid the button and pulled the down zipper. Being commando, Bobby's pants sprung open allowing room for his hardened cock to escape its confines.

Silence. Esme stared wide-eyed at his erection. More silence. He was definitely bigger than Agony and Rev, too; but she'd never tell them that either.

_Baby, you need to breath,_ Bobby cautiously touched her, hoping she wouldn't freak.

The instant she looked up, realization hit her and she gulped for air. Flushing a crimson red under her brown skin, Esme suddenly didn't know where to look first. Stumbling, she tried to focus anywhere but on his cock; yet her eyes seemed to be magically drawn to him. It was the cutest attempt to avoid staring Bobby had ever seen in his life. Laughing, he pulled Esme flush against his body and caressed her face.

"I love you, Baby. God, I love you so damn much. Esmeralda Torres, I want you to know that my intentions are pure. Please, never doubt my love for you, not even for a second," Bobby tenderly kissed the surprise and shock away from Esme's face. "May I remove the rest of your clothes now?" He nuzzled her hair.

At her nod, Bobby dipped down and pulled the straps from Esme's bra down her shoulders. He grinned like a school boy as he opened the clasp and pulled the piece of material away from her body. Immediately, Esme covered her mangled right breast self-consciously hiding the scars of her past.

"Oh my Sweet Baby, it's OK. Please, don't hide from me. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Every mark, every blemish is a display of your strength and courage," Bobby softly spoke while gently pulling down the arms that hid the mutilation that was done to her.

Bobby didn't even try to sensibly focus on something else. He looked square at the scarred tissue, the deformation, memorized each and every inch of it. Esme just stood still, all tense and let him watch. It felt horrible and every second she expected Bobby to turn and run away screaming. Instead he lowered himself back onto the rim of the tub and started to caress the main scar that was mostly responsible for the distortion. He followed its path, nuzzled it, kissed and nipped the surrounding soft tissue.

_Do you like this Baby_, he asked in his mind without interrupting his tender care.

_Yes,_ he felt her sniff, _it feels wonderful._

Bobby looked up and saw her watching him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Lovingly, he pulled her head down and brushed his lips over hers. _I love this one,_ he nodded to the right breast, _just as much as your other one. Promise me to never hide them from me again._

Esme nodded feebly.

_Good._ Bobby held his eyes locked with hers while he gently pulled down her panties. N_ow we can enjoy some intimate us-time,_ he smiled encouragingly at her as he pulled her close.

For the first time, their naked bodies met each other flush head to toe; it was a heady feeling. Esme felt enveloped in his unique scent. She felt the warmth of his body seeping into her skin, warming her more than any garment ever could. The thumping of his heartbeat rushed through her veins as did his arousal; but above all this, she felt his hard cock pulsing, unrestricted, against her stomach. Being in Bobby's arms, Esme was aware that she was naked and vulnerable; but what she felt in comparison was soft, delicate and at the same time incredibly safe.

Bobby stepped into the tub, helped her in and pulled her down between his legs, her back against his chest. _Just relax, Baby. Nothing will happen unless it is your wish._ For the longest time, he just spread the lather over her arms and shoulders and together they pushed suds around with their toes. Finally, Esme let go and relaxed. God, how Bobby had waited for this moment. He knew he was pushing Esme's limits; but he couldn't help it. Their fight had been horrible. For what seemed like a maddening eternity, he had felt like he had lost her and by that any sense his life still had. That was until Rev came and told him to get his ass back to his woman. His woman. Thankful for this second chance, he nuzzled her ear and started to nip at her neck. _That's fine, Baby, just relax,_ he thought while his arms snaked around her and pulled her close to his body. _You are safe. I will __**never**__ force anything on you and I won't allow anybody else to ever do it again._

Esme covered his arms with hers and entwined their fingers. _Regarding Ice,_ she thought hesitantly, not sure whether it was a good thing to approach the subject now.

_It's OK, sweetie. I accept that you don't want me with you. It was stupid to corner you about it._

_No,_ she shook her head. _I …,_ Esme hesitated, _I'd love to have you with me or at least close by. I'm … I'm just scared that you won't love me anymore when you become aware of my capabilities. Even more so that you can't deal with it when you see what it is doing to me. _There it was, out in the open what scared her most about the whole FUBAR Ice situation.

For a moment Bobby was silent while he absentmindedly rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs. This was important; one of her major worries he was sure. He wanted to do this right and show her that he was capable of handling her life. _Then tell me what I have to expect so it can't take me by surprise,_ he finally squeezed her.

Esme faltered.

_Hey,_ she suddenly felt Bobby nuzzle her neck. _Don't overthink things. I. Love. You. Whatever it is I will cope cuz the alternative would be a life without you and that is absolutely no option, under no circumstances. I'd rather move the earth and then some. Bobby_ let go of one of her hands, moved her face and kissed Esme deep and longingly. _Whatever pushes itself into our way,_ he whispered against her lips, _we will stand tall and face it together. I want to go where you go, Baby. I want to see what you see. _Bobby leaned his brow against hers and closed his eyes. _This is where we start, my love, and everything from here on we will build together. There will be battles; but we'll conquer them, together. I promise, whatever comes, I'll never turn my back on you and run away. _When he pulled his head back, his emotions where showing crystal clear in his moist eyes. He pressed a chaste kiss on her lips and pulled her back against his chest. _Now, tell me so I can prepare myself._

When Esme was finished, Bobby felt slightly nauseated; but his resolve was stronger than ever before. She was his now, his to love, to care for and to protect. Whether or not this self-destruction was necessary, he'd be at her side all along the way. They both felt drained after everything was put on the table and talked through. Bobby caressed and kissed Esme a bit more in the heated water; but kept his hands away from any erogenous zones. She'd had enough firsts for one night. He wanted to take her to bed now and snuggle with her, showing her his love by holding her safe in his arms.

"YO!" The banging at the door pulled Bobby out of a deep sleep. "Lovebirds!" More banging. "Get ya rumbled feathers outta bed, we're hungry!" Bobby groaned. That was Rage's voice. What the fuck had he gotten himself into.

"Go away," he growled loud enough so it would be heard through the door.

"Fat chance. Get ya asses outta bed or I come in," Rage hollered back.

_Welcome to my life,_ came a sleepy thought from his side. Esme was laying upside down next to him and stuffed her face deeper into her pillow. The sheet had ridden down to her firm, round buttocks giving Bobby a once-in-lifetime view on her bare back. So many scars he needed to kiss better.

_Good morning my love,_ he crawled over her and started peppering her shoulders and neck with soft kisses. _How did you sleep?_

_As though I were in heaven with the best pillow ever,_ she smiled and turned under his ministration. When her breasts brushed along his chest both their breaths shuddered.

_Hmmmmm, _Bobby hummed contently. _It was a good idea to skip the clothes for the night. _He impishly grinned as he slowly lowered his naked body on hers and started to nip at her lips.

Instantly, Esme's insides started to tingle and she pressed her body into his. Absentmindedly, she began rubbing herself against him, eliciting a moan from Bobby. The moment his mouth opened, her lips closed over his and she pushed her tongue into the beloved warmth, exploring the backside of his upper front teeth. Wondrous Bobby pulled back and looked down at her with sparkling eyes.

_You are mighty pushy this morning,_ he smiled happily.

_You said I could do with you whatever I want_, she grinned back and pushed against his broad chest.

Bobby let himself willingly fall backwards and grinned up at her. That was his girl, taking what she wanted. His heart was short of bursting with joy until he detected the dangerous gleam in her eyes. What the heck was she planning? Esme straddled his waist and looked down at him, smiling broadly at Bobby's wary look.

_I plan to treat myself to some Bobby for breakfast, _she thought back as she put her hands on his abs and slowly let them glide upward. Bobby's eyes were blazing as he felt himself hardening at the mere sight of her naked body on his. When Esme reached the tiny nubs that were his nipples, she looked at him challenging before deliberately rubbing them. Everything in Bobby clenched as he gave a loud groan and languorously closed his eyes.

_Baby, perhaps you should know that my control in the morning isn't as good as in the evening, _he panted.

_Guess, I should stop then,_ Esme smiled cheekily and made to stand up.

_Nooooooooo! _Aghast Bobby's hands clamped down on her thighs to keep her in place. _No, you stay exactly where you are._ He let his hands sensuously travel up her thighs, firmly gripped her luscious buttocks before he caressed the small of her back up to her shoulders. _I'm mighty fine with where you are and whatever you're going to do right now, _he grinned.

_Are you?_ Esme laughed silently.

_Damn, yeah._ Bobby let his hands wander over her collarbone and slide down her front to cup her breasts. He hadn't given them any further attention last night so he started to massage them gently, watching Esme as she closed her eyes and trustfully leaned her head back. His cock was throbbing with need. _This surely will kill me; but I'll enjoy every second of it,_ he thought as he flexed his abs and pulled himself up into a sitting position. Immediately, Esme's head snapped back and peridot green and cocoa brown eyes met each other with longing.

_Hey Baby,_ Bobby whispered as he leaned forward and started to nibble at her collarbone, slowly making his way down her chest. Esme grabbed his buff upper arms and pushed her chest forward, obviously enjoying his attention. Her skin tasted and smelled wonderful; flowery and oh so sweet. Bobby's hands were still cupping and lightly massaging her breasts and every now and then he looked up to check whether she was OK with it. Each time he found only longing in her eyes. When his lips reached the vale between her breasts, his hands stilled and he tenderly sucked the soft flesh between his teeth. He loved this spot, always had, and apparently Esme loved it, too. The grip she had on his arms was a clear indication. The moment his thumbs rubbed firmly over her hardened nipples, Esme folded like a switchblade. Her eyes were wide and her breathing ragged. For a moment Bobby was afraid she would pull away; but suddenly her body surged toward him and she kissed him hungrily.

_Again?_ He wondered with a twinkle in his eyes when they came up for air.

Esme's vehement nodding made him laugh. She was still straddling him; but had her body pressed close to his as they tenderly started to kiss, nipping at each other's lips and finally enjoying the warm and soft strokes of the other's tongue. When Bobby let his hands slide up her sides to her breasts, she shuddered and pressed even closer. Oh yeah, his Baby liked this. He cupped her breasts once more, firmly, and let his thumbs first draw circles around her nipples before he brushed over them. The force with which Esme surged into him caught him by surprise and with a moan he let himself fall back into the pillows, pulling her with him. Bobby fully intended to keep a cool head; but that was proving to be impossible. Longing and arousal pulsated through Esme's body and she pushed that straight into Bobby. It was making him stir crazy. He couldn't tell where her body ended and his began; which was her arousal and which was his; what her longings were, what were his.

Bobby felt Esme's delicate body in his arms and the warmth and soft silkiness of her skin under his hands. Her luscious breasts pressing into his chest. They kissed each other hungrily, tongues dueling for dominance, their breathing increasingly ragged.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware of his moaning and that the IAs would probably hear it; but he didn't care. Nothing else mattered besides he and Esme right here in this bed sharing their love and passion. As Esme latched onto the pulse point at his neck and sucked hard, his groin thrust upward while his arms held her in a vice-like grip and pressed her down into his body. His enormous cock forced itself between their bodies, firmly rubbing along Esme's clit on its way.

Everything seemed to happen on fast-forward. The quake that went through her body was instantaneous. Everything in her clenched and she felt muscles start to quiver that she had never felt before. Startled she pulled back, her eyes big as saucers. Esme didn't know whether to scramble away or further explore the sensation; but as she made a tiny move her clit, still firmly pressed against Bobby's cock, was stimulated again. In that moment she knew she couldn't run away from that wonderful experience.

_It's OK, Baby. _Bobby had felt the quake and clenching in her, felt each sensation and fear with their minds still linked. Lovingly, he cupped her face and leaned his brow against hers. _Look down, My Love._ Together they looked between their bodies at his glans and cock peeking up at them. _See, nothing happened. I haven't penetrated you. My cock is just brushing a tender spot that gave you all these confusing feelings._ Esme nodded her understanding. Tenderly Bobby kissed her, holding himself completely still. _You OK?_ He asked after a moment.

Esme's beam was blinding. _WOW,_ she thought.

Smiling, Bobby pulled her back down on his chest and caressed her face. _Yeah, wow. _Helovingly started to kiss her again. Just as he felt her relax in his arms, the door banged open with a deafening crash and Rage busted in.

"Didn't I tell ya to get ya asses outta…," he thundered before his voice died in his throat. Frozen, he stood in the middle of the room like a dear caught in a headlight. Rage stared at the two naked people in front of him, one of them being his little sister, theoretically. Totally taken aback he did his fish impression, opening and closing his mouth, before finally uttering a sorry and beating it out of the room.

Bobby turned, noticed Esme's wide, moist eyes and roared with anger. That was it; he'd had enough. Within a second, he was out of the bed and stormed after Rage; murder written on his face. The complete IA team, including Button and CP, were assembled in the kitchen. Bobby charged in, grabbed Rage by the back of his shirt and threw him against the next wall. Without a second delay, Bobby's right hand crushed down on Rage's neck, leaving him barely enough air to breathe.

"You listen to me now, fuckhead," he growled more menacingly than the IAs had ever thought him capable off. "It's one thing to pull your jokes on me. I can live with the verbal bashing; but the moment you make Esme uncomfortable, the game is over. You just overstepped, Rage. This is my one and only warning. Any of you assholes ever bust into our bedroom again, disrespect our right for privacy or cause Esme to shed so much as one more tear because of your callousness; I promise there will be blood and thunder. Am I clear?" Bobby snarled over his shoulder at the remaining men who warily watched him. "I know you think of me as some soft medic pussy; but I was a Recon Marine just like you, Rage, so watch yourself." He gave Rage's throat a last strangling shove and without another word, Bobby turned and marched out of the room, anger emanating from every pore of his naked body.

The IAs looked at each other baffled.

"He was naked," Furor finally said matter-of-factly.

"Fuckin' A," came V's lusting answer. "Damn, he's built!"

"He's a Marine," Rage snorted. "Of course he's built."

Agony and Rev both raised an eyebrow at him.

When Bobby entered their bedroom again, Esme sat Indian style in the middle of the bed and had the hugest grin on her face.

"You totally flustered them," she signed happily.

"Did I? And how do you know that?"

Esme's already glamorous grin grew even bigger as he tipped a finger to lift her head. "They are still sitting there around the island and don't know what to say," she signed laughing. "The coolest, Agony and Rev saw that you are bigger than them," she pointedly looked at his still hard cock. "Believe me, that's a blow to their prancing egos."

That was it. Bobby looked down at himself, burst into a fit of laughter and collapsed next to her on the bed. That certainly was one way to meet the family; stark naked with a rock hard erection.

When they finally appeared in the kitchen twenty minutes later, Rage looked positively wretched; Button, CP, Furor, V and Rev whooped and to Esme's immense relief Agony grinned toothily at her.

_Angel, I'm so sorry,_ Rage pulled her out of Bobby's arms into a tight hug. _I feel so shitty. That was so out of line. Please forgive me. I promise I'll never do it again, _he rambled on and on until Esme pulled back with a smirk.

_Hey puppie, it's fine. Still love ya, dork._

Rage's answer hug was a bone crusher. With Esme pressed into him, feet dangling in the air, he stretched his fist out to Bobby. "Hey man, sorry! It will never happen again!" Bobby narrowed his eyes at him a last time before he bumped the offered fist and they were good.

"Your neck OK?" he looked at the place his hand had crushed Rage's windpipe.

"Sure. You could have told me you're a Marine, man. Finally, I get some support against these 2 Navy pussies here," he nodded toward Agony and Rev who narrowed their eyes in response.

_Hey, could you delay this male bonding shit until after breakfast? I'm hungry._

"Uh-oh. Princess Esme is hungry! What and now everybody has to jump at your command? Fat chance. It's two p.m. for friggin' sake. You let us starve here!" Rev menacingly stalked toward Esme. "You," he poked his index finger into her chest while playful glaring at her, "take a seat now and watch us stuffing our faces. Should we feel gracious, we just may allow you to eat our leftovers."

That meant war. In a flash, Esme jumped Rev like a spider monkey and blew a wet raspberry square onto his mouth making him startle and stumble backwards. Before Rev could get his equilibrium back, several battle cries were heard and the chase around the central island was on - six lethal predators after one mischievous prey. With her small size and agility, Esme had no trouble slipping out of the guys' hands, making them stumble and run into each other; but the ruckus was enormous. Within moments, chairs were knocked over and the kitchen was morphing into a battlefield.

"You are good for her," Furor leaned next to Bobby and watched the spectacle unfolding in front of them. "I can't remember ever having seen her with such a glow and so carefree."

"She's good for me, too. She makes me feel complete and at peace with myself." Bobby's eyes never left Esme and the beautiful silent laughter on her face, again and again escaping her brothers.

Furor looked at the man next to him and the love shining in his eyes. "Welcome to the family," he smiled.

Bobby had turned his head and for the first time took a closer look at the IA's second in command. He knew that Furor and Esme had a very special bond. Furor saw himself as father figure for her just like Pain did. Being welcomed into the family by him was like getting his blessing. "Thanks man, that means a lot to me."

"Nah; pure, undiluted selfishness. Finally, I have a second sensible mind at my side to tame this pack," he pointed at the chaos in front of them. "Your girl can get these boys in an uproar within seconds."

"I can so see that," Bobby grinned.

Furor laughed heartily and bumped shoulders with him. "Come on, you lovesick puppy. Let's get the kids to the table before there are severe injuries."

* * *

**Rangeman building, Control room, a few hours later**

The Rangeman building at Haywood seemed to have been sucked into a black hole; the merriness and energy that Terror and the IAs brought to it was irrevocably gone.

Life at Haywood had changed since early April when T arrived and wormed her way into the closed-off hearts of the Rangemen. For many of them their attitudes and self-perception shifted for the better in the face of T's constant challenges, reflection and support. There was not one man in the building who hadn't had an encounter with her that left him speechless. Over the weeks and months, she seeded a sense of pride into the men. Now with her gone, Tank couldn't help but feel a listlessness and weariness descend over them. How many of them would this cost injuries or worse, their life, because they would become unobservant? Frustrated he rubbed his bald head before looking back at the monitors in front of him.

"You keep an eye on that situation. I don't like the look of the kids kicking around in front of the store," he reminded Hal, gripping his shoulder and giving him a friendly shake. Hal had literally blossomed with T in the house, especially after they'd spent a day together at an amusement park. Now Tank had to watch him fall to pieces, morphing straight back into the isolated man he was before she arrived. This was such a fucked up mess. With a last squeeze to Hal's shoulder, Tank turned and went back to his office. He had to work out the new training schedule Ranger had carelessly tossed on his desk before leaving for a meeting in Boston. The mere thought of Ranger gave Tank a migraine.

First, this irrational decision to sack the IAs. Then this morning, he sends a memo to every employee that the IAs are under no circumstances to be let into the building and any sighting of them in Trenton has to be reported directly to him. Two hours later he suddenly up and leaves, ignoring the whole mess he'd wreaked, for a minor meeting in Boston. What the fuck was going on with him?

An hour into his work Tank's cell phone rang leaving him cussing.

"What!"

"Boss, we have a situation here," reported Sanchez who had the guard shift down at the holding cells. "Ice has some kind of seizure."

"Fuck! Be there in two." Tank was already on his feet. "Santos, Ram," he hollered to the break room. The men immediately appeared in the door frame. "Move."

Bloodcurdling screams could be heard as they entered the third underground level. One look at Ice writhing and screaming on the floor of the holding cell told Tank everything he needed to know. Terror had sunk her teeth into her prey.

"Sanchez, dismissed," he sent the BEA man away before he turned to Lester and Ram. "You are aware of what is happening here?" The two men looked at Ice's twitching body and then back at Tank and nodded. "I don't see how we could intervene here," Tank said matter-of-factly. "If you stay I can't say how far Ranger's wrath will go. Instant termination could be the least of your worries. Leave now and you are out of the woods." Lester and Ram both looked at him and wordlessly took position right and left of the holding cell's door.

* * *

**Chestnut Alley, Lester's house, twenty minutes later**

"Bobby, no," hissed Rage into his ear. "You promised her you'd cope with it, now prove it."

Bobby strained against the hold Rage had on him. His Baby was lying on the floor, seizing with muscle cramps. The portable heart monitor Furor had attached to her was in a frenzy, the blood pressure sending a constant alarm tone. How was he supposed to cope with what was unfolding before his eyes? Right next to her Rev had crumbled to the floor, his body twitching, his breathing intermittent. This was T's and Rev's first interrogation together. They went in linked with each other and planned to take turns questioning Ice. Now they were both lying on the floor obviously fighting for their lives. That lunacy had to stop. Just as he was about to jerk out of Rage's grasp, a screeching sound filled the room and the heart monitor flatlined.

"Fuck!" Furor cut Esme's loose tank top and immediately started the cardiac massage. "V, juice. Button, CP – take care of Rev."

In a flash the two medics had Rev's body pulled aside and started to check on him. It was just a few seconds until Esme's heart restarted; but for Bobby those seconds were the longest moments of his life.

"Let go of me or I'll fucking tear you to shreads," he snarled at Rage who immediately set him free. Stumbling over to Esme he shoved V out of his way and fell down on his knees right next to her head. Trembling hands caressed her face while his eyes found the monitors. The parameters were back to normal or at least in an acceptable range. No longer fighting the tears he bent forward and put his brow against hers. "Oh Baby, I love you. I love you so much," he whispered so low that none of the guys could hear him. "How could you do this to me." Tears were streaming down his face. "I know I promised you I would cope; but I can't – not with this. I can't watch you dying, Baby. Don't ask that from me. I can't lose you. I just can't."

With a jerk he straightened up, his face drowned in tears. The IAs could barely meet his eyes as he looked at them, one after the other, with an ice-cold glare. "You knew this would happen, this could happen," he growled at them. "How could you let her do that?" He took a deep breath and then screamed with all the anger and devastation that was in him. "How the fuck could you let her do that? You say you are her family? What kind of a fucking family is one that lets their sister die? She fucking died. She was dead. Are you all insane?" Sagging back onto his knees, he tenderly held Esme's face in his hands. "I want you to go away," he said choking back tears, his eyes never leaving his love. "I want you to fucking vanish and not see you near her again."

Furor looked over his shoulder at Rev who laid on his side, his knees pulled up to his chest.

"Hey Bro, you OK?" When Rev shook his head no, Furor looked up at Button and CP. "Help Agony to get him situated and stay with him." Then he turned to Rage and V and nodded to the door that they should go, too.

"Bobby," he said quietly after the other men had left the room.

"Go away," Bobby answered, his voice still thick with tears. He had pulled off his shirt and lovingly had put it under Esme's head before he folded himself around her and caressed every part of her he could reach, never taking his eyes off her.

"No Bobby, I stay. She still needs care and you are in no condition to do it yourself." Furor looked at him, crumbled on the floor. "I know you hate me right now; but that won't deter me from taking care of the two of you. We **are **family after all."

* * *

**Rangeman building, third underground level, holding cell area**

The three men cautiously looked at each other.

"It's been quiet for a while now. Shall we check on him?" Lester asked into the silence.

Tank opened the door to the holding cell and they stepped into the dimly lit room. The stench was a telling harbinger. After a short look around, they localized Ice on the floor where he laid balled up in a heap. Lester went over to him to check his pulse; but the closer he stepped the more obvious the sight before him became. Ice was dead.

"I hope she got what she was looking for," Tank said with a merciless glance at the dead body at his feet. "I just hope she's OK. When you talk to her," he turned to Lester, "tell her that I worry about her and she should contact me when she needs anything."

"I don't know what you are talking about," Lester looked at him indifferently.

"Good, cuz should Ranger ever learn about what I just told you, I'm as good as dead."

* * *

_**A little preview on chapter 40:  
**_

**"Has she woken up, yet?" Furor asked softly after he had come in and checked the IV attached to Esme's arm.**

**"No," growled Bobby. He had dressed her in one of his Marine sweaters and sweatpants and held her snuggled close to his body, covered with several sheets and blankets, rubbing slow circles on her back and side. They were lying in their bed, the heart-monitor still attached to her, emitting a reassuring steady soft beeping in the background.**

**"Bobby, listen, I know you are shocked and angry; but…" Furor tried to mediate.**

**"You know shit," Bobby hissed menacingly, cutting him off. "You don't know how it is to continuously lose those you love. You don't have a fucking clue how that feels. Every time your heart gets ripped out of your body and shredded to pieces; every time you have to fight to keep breathing and wonder why you try at all," he took a shuddering breath and pulled Esme even closer into his body.  
**


	40. Chapter 40 - Time To Regroup

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 40 – Time To Regroup**

**Chestnut Alley, Lester's bedroom**

"Has she woken up, yet?" Furor asked softly after he had come in and checked the IV attached to Esme's arm.

"No," growled Bobby. He had dressed her in one of his Marine sweatshirts and sweatpants and held her snuggled close to his body, covered with several sheets and blankets, rubbing slow circles on her back and side. They were lying in their bed, the heart-monitor still attached to her, emitting a reassuring steady soft beeping in the background.

"Bobby, listen, I know you are shocked and angry; but…" Furor tried to mediate.

"You know shit," Bobby hissed menacingly, cutting him off. "You don't know how it is to continuously lose those you love. You have no fucking idea what it's like. Let me clue ya, each time your heart gets ripped out of your body and shredded to pieces. You have to fight to keep breathing and wonder why you try at all," he took a shuddering breath and pulled Esme even closer into his body.

"Bobby…"

"No, get the fuck out," he snarled.

Furor hung his head and quietly left the room. Downstairs the other guys were waiting for him. Rev laid on his makeshift bed with his head in Agony's lap and looked like shit. The others were leaning against the walls or lounging on the floor.

"No Chance," Furor sadly shook his head. "He's in full protective mode. I wouldn't put it past him to shoot anybody trying to get near her."

"How is she?" Rev croaked.

"Still out," Furor leaned against one of the walls and let himself glide down until he sat on the floor. "What the fuck happened, Rev? How could this get so FUBAR?" He rubbed his head in frustration and worry.

"I don't know man. I don't know whether she already knew that Ice was in the process of dying or whether she simply didn't detect it beforehand. The moment we were linked, our systems immediately started to go down with him. It felt like a maelstrom pulling us deeper and deeper. Esme fought against it, tried to keep him alive long enough to get her answers. Then suddenly everything happened so fast. All his systems shut down at once. It was … I was so fucking scared," Rev took a strained breath causing Agony to look worried at him. "It felt like my heart was suddenly beating like a freight train and my pulse was hammering like shit. Angel," Rev shuttered, "she was pulled down with him … she said she couldn't get us both out … she had to fight to disconnect me and that's the last thing I remember," Rev gulped against the tears that wanted to spring free. "She gave her life to save me. How could she do that," he finally sobbed and buried his face in Agony's stomach.

"Listen to me, Darling. She's alive. Furor got her back. She's going to be alright," Agony reminded him while he tenderly stroked his partner's head. "**You** are going to be alright."

Upstairs in their bedroom Bobby nuzzled Esme's hair and placed whisper-soft kisses along her hairline. After the reanimation, she'd shortly been conscious; but within a minute dropped back into an exhausted sleep.

"I understand how he felt," Bobby whispered into her hair. "I now know how Muerte felt when he wouldn't let anybody near you at Princeton. God, he must already have been deeply in love with you." Tenderly he stroked her hair and caressed her unmoving face. Her breathing was even, her pulse strong and steady as he continuously convinced himself. "I know it's wrong and when you wake up you'll be angry with me; but I can't let them near you. I thought they loved you as much as I do; but apparently they don't or they'd never let this insanity happen." He pressed a lingering kiss on her brow and squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that welled up once more. Shit on being a crying pussy; it had been like losing Rubén all over again. He couldn't do that anymore. He couldn't lose another piece of his heart. He couldn't lose Esme. She was his light now, his reason to move on. Devastated Bobby let himself get swept away by a new gush of tears. Just as his body wanted to succumb to sleep, he felt a tiny movement on his chest.

_Baby?_ Bobby took her hand and held his breath.

When Esme gave his hand a feathery squeeze, he nearly crushed her with relief. Cautiously he turned her onto her back and rejoiced in the sleepy green eyes that blinked at him.

_How are you, Sweetie?_ He tenderly caressed her face.

Esme shut her eyes and lifted her hand to sign. "Tired, headache, nausea."

Bobby snuggled close to her and leaned his head against hers. _I'm so glad you are back with me. Everything will be fine, I promise._

After a moment he felt Esme squeeze his hand. _Bathroom._

_Of course, I'll carry you over and help you._

When they were back in bed and Bobby had her shivering body sufficiently wrapped up in sheets and blankets, Esme looked at him with drowsy and sad eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that to happen," she signed sleepily.

Bobby's breath shuddered. "The only thing that matters to me is you are still here, alive, in my arms. Everything else we'll talk about later," he took her cold hands in his, rubbed them firmly and when they were finally warm, kissed them lovingly. "Remember Baby? Whatever pushes itself into our way, we will stand tall and face it together - I'll never turn my back to you and run away again. I did that once and I learned my lesson."

The look of relief on Esme's face told him that was exactly what she needed to hear.

"Bobby?"

He nuzzled her nose and looked expectantly at her hands.

"I want to go home. Can you bring me home?"

In a flash his eyes found hers. "You mean Great Falls?"

Esme felt tired, dog-tired, her nod was barely perceptible. Bobby would get her anywhere, as long as it was far away from any assignment. Before he could answer, her eyes were closed again and her breathing had evened out.

"I promise you when you wake up, you will be home," he whispered and kissed her tenderly.

* * *

**Great Falls, Maryland**

Esme emerged from the depths of her sleep to a light, warm breeze caressing her face and playing with her hair. The air carried the scent of a river, of trees, flowers and luscious green grass. She was home. Smiling happily she stretched and opened her eyes. She was lying in the big hammock on her roof-deck and Bobby sat across from her in a deck-chair, deeply engrossed in one of her crime-thrillers.

_Hey bookworm,_ she smirked at him.

Immediately his head snapped up and the most beautiful smile spread over his face.

_Finally, the marmot decided to grace us with her presence,_ he grinned as he came over and snuggled close to her in the hammock. _How are you, My Love?_ He tenderly nuzzled her nose, before kissing her temple, cheek and finally her lush lips.

_A little stiff._

_No wonder,_ Bobby nipped along her jaw and down her neck. _You slept for nearly twenty hours. I carried you around without you ever so much as batting an eyelid._ At the vale between her collarbone he sucked in the soft flesh, leaving a mark for everybody to see.

_Bobby? _She tucked at his head so he would look up. _Bobby, I need to tell you something._

_Whatever it is, Baby, it can wait,_ he made his way to her right shoulder kissing and nipping her collarbone.

_No, Bobby, now!_

Her commanding tone made him look up. _What's wrong, Sweetie? What's so important?_

_Bobby, I need to shut down NISE or at least eliminate the threat they pose to Rubén, my guys and me. Furthermore, I expect the Rangemen to get into trouble on this mission which means my team and I will have to go in and rescue them._

_After that though, I want to take a longer break from my work for the Inferna Angelus Syndicate. I know this sounds crazy; but when I was dead – and I know I was – Grief was suddenly there and he handed me my ass. Last night he came again in my dream. He helped me see what I want. Bobby, I want to be with you. I dream of building a life with you, of… _

Esme hesitated for a moment

_…of having sex with you; but again and again I get caught up in my past. I want to seriously work on what happened to me and I thought, _

she looked down and started to play with Bobby's fingers,

_I thought that perhaps when we are visiting Rubén at Cedar Creek, I may talk to his doctor Hank Garvey. He is very nice, I like him. Maybe, _

Esme took a deep breath,

_maybe there's a chance for me to stay at Cedar Creek for a while once everything is over. _

Esme looked back up into Bobby's eyes.

_Dr. Garvey offered to help me and he said he had female colleagues should I feel more comfortable talking to them; but I'm scared, Bobby. I'm scared of opening that can of worms that is my past._

Bobby put his fingers on Esme's lips and vehemently shook his head._ "Hush, Baby. Don't. I'm so unbelievable proud of you. I can imagine how scared you are; but I will be with you every step of the way. You won't be alone."_

Esme nodded and pressed a kiss against his fingers.

_There's more, _she pushed to him_. I'm also not sure about constantly risking and fighting for my life anymore. That doesn't mean I will stop working for the Inferna Angelus. _

For a moment Esme let her eyes linger on Bobby's, searching for understanding in them.

_It's similar to you being a Marine. You don't stop being a Marine when you stop active duty. Being a Marine is not just a job; it's a faith. Semper Fi - always faithful. It's similar with us IAs. We go through this grueling training and inauguration ritual and become Inferna Angelus - hell's angels. We decide to put our lives behind those who are in danger. We live to protect and help those who can't help themselves and to free them out of the hells where they are being held captive. It's a faith, an attitude towards life. It's me and all that makes my life worth living. Grief told me that from now on I will have to think for two cuz every single decision I make will influence your life, too. I want my choices to be our choices. I'm just afraid it won't be enough for you._

Bobby looked at her speechless. His mind was racing, desperately trying to process what he'd just heard. "You think about building a life with me? Of tackling your demons? Of taking my needs into consideration and perhaps stepping back from those suicide missions you take on at the moment?"

Esme nodded, lovingly caressed his cheeks and signed "Yes, I love you Bobby. I know there's so much I can't give you at the moment; but I want to work on that and I promise to always keep your needs in my mind. I just hope that it will be enough."

Suddenly there was no holding back anymore. Bobby's lips crashed down on hers and the passion surging out of him tossed them both out of the hammock onto the deck.

"OUCH! Fuck," he laughed with Esme spread-eagle on top of him. "Are you OK, Sweetie?" He rubbed her back.

_I'm fine. No worries. I had a soft landing,_ she chuckled in her mind while she pulled and pushed herself into a more comfortable position.

"Esmeralda Torres, don't you ever, not ever, worry about not being enough for me. You are all I have ever wished for and no other woman can hold a candle to your passion and devotion. I would never expect you to stop working for the Inferna Angelus. Never. Esme, not only are you making me happy beyond words; but I feel so loved by you. Baby, I don't want to just have sex with you in case you worry about that. There is so much more to making love than just intercourse. We make love to each other each and every night as it is now. It's about loving, understanding, accepting, kissing, caressing and holding each other. Should we never have intercourse with each other because you are simply too scared, it wouldn't change a thing about my love for you," Bobby looked at her intently, caressing her cheeks with his fingertips. "I can't believe you are doing this," he passionately whispered. "Taking a step back, bravely tackling your demons, thinking about my needs, and all that to build a life with me."

_Why is that so unbelievable for you?_

"Because …" Bobby hesitated, absentmindedly twirling a strand of Esme's curls around his finger. "Because I always felt like I had to fight to be worthy of others' love and now … I'm doing nothing. I'm not working, I'm not productive in any kind of way; yet here you are wanting to step back to spend time with me. That's just …" Bobby sighed and tenderly stroked along Esme's hairline, her temple, along her jaw, before his fingers traced the contours of her lips. "I feel pretty worthless and like a failure at the moment. It just amazes me again and again that you are willing to take up with me."

For the longest time Esme just looked into Bobby's cocoa brown eyes before she pushed herself up a bit more so she could cup his face. _Robert Brown, you are neither worthless nor a failure. You are a brave, intelligent and loving soul. You constantly put yourself behind everybody else. These past few years, you've kept pushing yourself along disregarding the fact that you've long been at the end of your rope. You are a caretaker with all your heart and that makes you to an immeasurably valuable person. What you do for people can't be compensated with gold or money. Your commitment never ends – you offer comfort, help and hope 24/7. So tell me, how can you think of yourself as a failure, unproductive or worthless?_

She gently brushed his lips before she kissed him tenderly.

_Besides, _she nipped at his lower lip, _am I not taking up with you – I love you. I was told there's a difference. Plus this is not about spending more time with you but about …_ she thought for a moment … _about finally feeling brave enough to face the past and instead of living for the moment, building a life for me with you at my side._

With no words to express how deeply in love with Esme he had fallen, Bobby leaned in and passionately kissed her. Somewhere in the back of his mind an annoying pushy voice reminded him that soon they'd have to face the situation with Rubén and both their feelings for him; but for now he decided to ignore that voice and let himself get lost in the sensual touches and kisses of his woman.

* * *

**Rangeman LLC, Trenton**

"Repeat," Ranger's fingers were steepled in front of his chin, his voice was quiet and indifferent as his aura became more menacing than ever.

"There is no need to repeat it; you understood perfectly," Tank answered frostily.

"You're telling me that I leave the office for less than 24 hours and you not only defy the order to prevent the IAs from entering the building; but you allowed them to kill Ice - our only source of information behind this Fucked Up Mess!"

"Nobody entered or left the building besides our employees. Terror was doing her mind shit. What was I supposed to do? Put a pisspot on Ice's head to reflect her brainwaves? Get a grip man, I couldn't have prevented it whether I wanted to or not."

"**Whether you wanted**?" Ranger raised an eyebrow at Tank while he continued to watch him icily. "I see. So you decided to stand guard outside the holding cell while she tortured him to death?"

"Don't act as though you gave a flying fuck about Ice. He signed his death certificate the moment he deceived you. Besides, you weren't able to get any more information out of him than you already had," Tank came back at him with an ice-cold voice. "The smart thing to do now would be to call the IAs and ask what Terror found out; but apparently you don't do smart anymore. You decided to regress to an early stage of macho caveman whose pride got bruised." Tank looked at him challenging.

"Careful, you're moving on thin ice. You are nothing but an employee here and right now I'm asking myself what good you serve to my company," Ranger's hands lay relaxed on the imposing mahogany desk in front of him; but Tank could see the tension brewing below.

"Perhaps I should ask myself that, too." Tank straightened up and turned toward the door. "One thing you should keep in mind," he turned his head back to Ranger. "This is not just **your** company; but **ours**. You are a great operative, one of the best the government's ever had; but you'll have a hard time keeping the machine, that are these offices, moving. That's my area of expertise. Without me, your success will diminish. That's why we all founded this company **together** so each of us can bring in his strengths. As your **partner and friend,** I'm willing to forget the way you are behaving right now; but should you carry things too far, I will leave and won't come back. Remember that when you make your decisions." With that Tank left the office without waiting for Ranger's reaction.

Ranger clenched his fists and ground his teeth against the sudden anger that surged through him. _Fuck you, fuck everybody. I don't have to answer to you. I am the CEO. It's my decision. She had to go. She was getting too close._ Ranger's nostrils were flaring and his jaw hurting from the constant gritting. He should have never given her so much power.

"FUCK!" He thundered while his fist smashed into the top of this mahogany desk. The pain that was suddenly racing through his hand, up his arm and into his shoulder was a blessing. Pain was good. Pain was something he knew how to handle.

Cooling his stressed wrist with some ice from the small fridge in his office, Ranger picked up his phone and dialed a well-known number at the FBI headquarter.

"Deputy Director Green, this is Ranger Manoso. I need to inform you about a change in the mission's execution. The team of the Inferna Angelus Syndicate stepped back from the assignment. Rangeman will conduct the mission alone. I will need any new intel that you might have."

After the phone call, Ranger felt better. Starting tomorrow he'd make sure his men were on top of their game. They had slacked over the past months – he'd make sure to whip them back into shape. How could he have let himself be so blinded by that woman and not have seen her true intentions?

Cal and Lester were glued to the monitors as they watched Ranger make his way down to the gym. When he stopped at the treadmills for a talk with Zero, they began gritting their teeth. Zero had fucked up. None of his colleagues wanted anything to do with him at the moment. Even his partner refused to work with him because emotions were running too high to concentrate. For the men, this wasn't about deciding 'against' Terror, this was about not speaking up when the first doubts surfaced. This was about misusing trust, about misleading those who trusted you and eventually stabbing them in the back when they least expected it. The atmosphere at Rangeman was brimming with tension and each day it seemed to get worse.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

"So you think Rubén could be a sleeper?" Rage signed incredulous.

"Those were Ice's words," T signed back.

"What kind of sleeper?" Furor looked at her skeptical. "In the sense that someone planted him at Rangeman, financed him to be one of its founders in hope to one day activate him and gather intel and pull strings? Or rather that someone made him some highly trained killer waiting to be activated."

"How the fuck should I know that? Besides that's not the point," T's temper flared up. "Let's say this sleeper-theory is true, it could mean healing for Rubén. He could possibly regain his memory once they lifted the drape put over his past." T was excited at the prospect. She knew how much Rubén wished to remember the past.

"But Angel, neither of those two possibilities would explain his memory loss," Furor tried to reason with her. "The loss of memory is most probably a dissociative amnesia to protect himself."

T vibrated with defiance and anger.

"OK, let's assume for a moment you are right," Rage soothingly put his hand on T's and squeezed gently, "it could also mean to wake something up in him nobody knows how to handle let alone how to stop." T wanted to protest; but he shushed her. "Should he be programmed by NISE or a third party, none of us knows his objective. It could be a single assassination or even worse that he simply goes berserk on a rampage. Imagine he starts shooting innocent people at will. He would have to be brought down. Would you be able to shoot at him, Angel? Would you expect one of us to kill the man that means the most to you **and** Bobby?"

T glared at him for a minute before her shoulders sagged.

_No._

Ranger hadn't shared his knowledge about Rubén's past with NISE, leaving the IAs totally in the dark.

"Angelito," Agony took her other hand, "we don't mean to dampen your enthusiasm; but I think we should try to get more information about NISE and find out why exactly they are after Rubén," he tried to talk sense into her. "Besides we can inform Rubén's doctors about the possibility of mind control. Either way, in the end it will be Rubén's decision whether he wants to take the risk of waking up some unknown demon or not."

"We should also take into consideration the possibility that NISE just fed all this to Ice to keep him on his toes or to give his assignment weight," Rev quietly added. Like T, he was still shaken by last night's events and had a hard time dealing with the surreal near-death experience.

"What's the other thing you got from Ice? You said there were two pieces of info," V looked at T questioningly. He'd been stateside for four days now, having brought Pain to Walter Reed Hospital. V then came directly to Trenton where he got hit by the aftershocks of Ranger's sacking. Those last weeks alone with Pain had been so relaxing; but the events of the past few days had V feeling as though he was being tossed around on an emotional roller coaster ride.

"Rubén has a tracker implanted; NISE knew all along where he was at any given time. All our efforts to keep his whereabouts secret, to preserve his safety, were futile," Esme signed frustrated.

"What the fuck! When did they do that and why?"

"Who knows, could have happened after he was rescued to keep track of him in case Ice messed up," Esme shrugged. "Ice wasn't supposed to know about the GPS. He picked it up by chance when he was ordered to meet DuPuits for one of his quarterly reports."

"Ice had to report to DuPuits in person every three months?" Agony asked astonished. "Angel, this sleeper rumor makes no sense. Fuck, Rubén must know some serious shit about NISE. Otherwise, they wouldn't burden themselves with the task of putting a man on him all these years," Agony shook his head deep in thought.

"They didn't kill him fearing the following investigations? That simply doesn't sound reasonable enough. With the power NISE seems to have, they could have interfered with any and all investigations," Agony rubbed his head and pressed the balls of his hands against his eyes. "Holy FUCK, let's assume for a moment Rubén has some inside knowledge about NISE. It has to be something profoundly incriminating that can bring them and each of its men down and most probably shake the American government to its core. They would assume he has prearranged 'his affairs', as do many other servicemen and women, in the case of his sudden unexplained death. Shit, that's why they put a man on him to watch him discreetly and aren't eliminating him. Rubén is a powder keg whose death would pose severely negative ramification for NISE. Since they can't determine the contents of his Last Will and Testament, he's safest for them alive as long as he doesn't regain his memory."

"Yeah, you are right. That makes more sense." T nodded. "They must fear Rubén's death will set something monumental in motion. That's why they set Ice on him. He wasn't just some average operative. Ice was trained. I mean really trained – Special Forces and probably the SAD's Clandstine Trainee Program. He knew the precise balance of proficiency needed to blend in with the Rangemen so he could remain perfectly invisible. Showing off too much skill and expertise would draw attention. Too little and he would need extra training. Besides, he never really broke under Ranger's interrogation; just gave him secondary snippets probably to have his peace. Plus, he managed to deceive even me those first weeks. That alone means he had some excessive training in controlling his thoughts." Esme leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and let her mind doodle for a moment. Ice's interrogation was a scary experience she didn't ever want to repeat. Even in his death he held up against her and successfully protected his inner secrets by dying before she could break his defenses.

"Bobby, can you remember any incidents from the time before Rubén left for that last mission that could help us?" Furor asked cautiously. Bobby had become even more silent than he already was and now looked at Furor with pained eyes.

"No, nothing that stuck out. He had changed over the years, having difficulty decompressing between assignments; but I didn't think much of it. His schedule was insane. Often, he'd barely been home a few days before his cell rang and he left for the next tour. Sometimes he vanished for a few days, sometimes for months on end. When he came back … I don't know … it was as though … he was internally dead. He repeatedly shut me down when I tried to talk sense into him regarding the frequency of his deployments," Bobby frowned. The pain and sadness in his face was clearly witnessed by everybody. "The last nine months before he left, he started to withdraw from me. I took him to task about it; but again he instantly shut me down, aggressively. The whole time I thought he was with DEVGRU. I mean, everybody thought Muerte was with DEVGRU. Now, I don't know what to think anymore."

"What do you mean?" Furor dug deeper; but Bobby kept silent and stared unseeingly at the tabletop.

_Give him a minute,_ Esme pushed to the others and scooted onto Bobby's lap. With a shuddering breath, he tightly closed his massive arms around her and buried his head in her neck.

_It's OK, Baby. I've got you,_ she thought as she drew soothing circles on his back as he silently sobbed. After a few minutes, Bobby calmed down, took a deep breath and sat straighter. He felt like he had hit rock bottom again. Wiping the evidence of his crying from his face and T's neck, he pulled her close to his chest once more. He needed to feel her body in his arms or he feared he would fall to pieces.

"Here man, drink that. It will help," V put a snifter of the best Scottish Whiskey in front of him. "Don't you glare at me; that's medicine."

"After Rubén was declared dead," Bobby began as soon as he had his bearings back, "Ranger, the guys and I tried to reconstruct what happened. The deeper we dug, the more questions arose. At one point, we got the feeling that he was deployed for highly questionable ops, blacker than black, and whoever trained Rubén to the point they did, decided that he had become a liability and had to be eliminated. What," Bobby took another shuddering breath and gulped against the lump in his throat. "What if he became an operative for NISE? Could he have found out the truth about the group in all its gory details? Would that mean that NISE was behind his captivity?" He pushed the snifter back to V for a refill then gulping it down in one breath. "Knowing the truth about NISE means he may never be safe. They will bide their time and should he ever regain his memory, they will find a way to kill him," he looked at T with fresh tears in his eyes.

_I won't allow that, Bobby, _she locked eyes with him and pushed her thoughts paired will all the conviction she had in her into his mind. **_We_**_ won't allow that to happen. You and I will keep him safe; we'll find a way. I promise._

Bobby nodded and once more wiped at the corners of his eyes. _Sorry for being such a crybaby._

_You are no crybaby. You are just at the end of your rope and deeply worried about someone you love. You forget I love him, too. I feel the same you do, Baby,_ she nuzzled his nose and kissed him tenderly; her brothers at the table be damned. Nearly instantly she felt Bobby's emotions flare up and he crushed her into his body.

"Ahem," they heard someone clearing his throat in the distance before two strong hands pulled them apart. "Excuse me? Could you stop making out at the dinner table? There are singles in attendance," Rage grinned at them.

"Can I assume you checked any possible hiding places you knew about and talked to his attorney?" Furor ignored their little interlude.

"Yes, Lester and I looked everywhere, turned our whole house in Miami inside out; but didn't find anything and his attorney negated any knowledge about secret information."

"So what's next, Angel?" Rage jumped in. "We go to Cedar Creek and remove the tracker from Rubén and then go hunting down those NISE fuckers?"

_Not yet. Firstly, I want to think a bit more before deciding to make NISE aware of us knowing about them. Secondly, _she smiled and took Bobby's hands in hers, entwining their fingers. _Regarding rushing to Cedar Creek, a special someone has put his foot down and asked me to stay put and recuperate. I agreed; but only until the meeting between DuPuits and the unknown third party in ten days, _she squeezed Bobby's hand making him smile lovingly at her._ Don't worry, I'll keep you busy with investigating; but I promised Bobby to take a break and admittedly I feel a little tired at the moment._

"What the hell! Bobby, how did ya do that?" Agony burst out incredulously. "We can talk to her about stepping back until we are blue in the face to no avail. You waltz your fine ass in here and merely ask and she makes goo-goo eyes at you and agrees to everything?"

"Face it, bro'. He has the better arguments," Rage laughing clapped Agony on the back and made some kissing noises.

* * *

**Rangeman building, Junior's apartment, 3 a.m.**

The pesky ringing of his cell brought Junior out of his deep sleep.

"Yeah?" he mumbled sleep-drunken into the phone.

"I have an offer for you earning you a substantial amount of money and giving you a chance for the revenge you so crave," a mysterious male voice said in the phone. "Should you be interested, take care that you can talk freely tomorrow 11 a.m.," and the line went dead.

* * *

_**A/N: Just want to let you know that I tried myself at a little Christmas oneshot. It's at the editor at the moment and I hope to upload it december 24th - the day we celebrate Christmas here in Germany. Consider it a little Christmas present for you all for sticking with me since 40 chapters. Love xx, Yvonne  
**_


	41. Chapter 41 - Bugging NISE

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: Since some of you expressed their concern about Ranger: He's not a bad guy; but he's also not the superhero of this story. For me Ranger is a human being with strengths and flaws and right now he's the victim of NISE's scheme without realizing it._**

* * *

**Chapter 41 – Bugging NISE**

**Rangeman, Trenton, the next day**

It was eight o'clock in the morning and the briefing room on the fourth floor was filled with what was left of the mission team. Lester, Woody, Cal, Ram, Zip, Zero, Vince, Binkie, Sad, Willow, Ace, Knock, Scar, Bull, Harvey and Scotch sat stone-faced around the conference table. No chit-chat or banter was filling the air; instead all their faces were grim, their poses rigid. Upon Ranger's entry, the Trenton crew, aside from Zero, never moved showing their irritation with him ostentatiously.

As soon as he stood at the head of the table, Ranger slowly let an icy gaze wander over his men. "Starting today," he began as usual without any greeting, "I will officially take over the training and command of the mission team. You slacked over the past months, got distracted by some nice curves and an impish smile. I will take care that you get your heads out of your asses and back in the game. You will be in top physical condition when we leave."

"We neither slacked nor did we get distracted," Lester growled, glaring at his cousin and business partner. "T did a great job. All of us are in better shape now than before the arrival of the Inferna Angelus,"

Lester's open challenge let the rage in Ranger that was simmering below the cold surface instantly rise. What the fuck was the problem with his employees? When had they stopped respecting him - especially his good-for-nothing cousin? It's all just because he let that fucking woman into the building. How could he have made the same mistake a second time?

"We will see how you fare once we've started," he snarled at Lester, nostrils flaring, taking the men totally by surprise. Ranger never lost control in front of them. "Now that we no longer have to compromise, we stick to the plan of procedure given by DC and will leave Trenton for Colombia early to mid-September. Until then, we will use our time wisely. Plan on enhancing your physical fitness with land navigation exercises, jungle survival, combat and ambush training, close combat training, reconnaissance patrols and ruck marches with 90 lbs equipment – all that under sleep deprivation, hunger and emotional stress. I want each one of you to be able to breathe through Ranger School when we leave."

"That is fucking insane," Lester met Ranger head on, his voice loud and angry. He had to speak up. The others all depended on their jobs at Rangeman; but he was a partner. Ranger couldn't up and can him. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Didn't you get what Terror told us? NISE is planning to serve us on a silver platter to our enemies down there. Our only chance for survival is going in as early as possible before they can prepare an ambush on us. It's insane to send us through Ranger School preparation - fuck, our bodies aren't twenty anymore. What about the guys who've never been in the Rangers? How are they supposed to manage that exertion let alone still be able to conduct a mission afterward? We need to prepare for the situation down there and nothing else."

"Feel free to leave, Lester. Run after the cunt, I won't hold you back. I have no use for a class clown anyway," Ranger thundered, leaving the men shocked by his sudden outburst and his choice of words. For a moment Lester felt like all oxygen had left his body and he couldn't breathe. Ranger had always been his guide, his role model. Though they were family and were both Rangers, Lester had always stood in the shadow of his mighty cousin; but he didn't care. He had loved Ranger like a brother; until now. For the longest time Lester and Ranger stared at each other, wrath and aggression coiled tight like a spring between them. In the end, Ranger's leadership skills and the threat he was emanating won out. "I won't tolerate any opposition or instigation," Ranger menacingly glared at Lester. "Are we clear, Corporal Santos?" He bellowed.

"Yes, **sir**," Lester hissed through clenched teeth.

"Good," Ranger glared at the remaining men. "I will continuously step up the demands. Should anyone not be able to follow, he will do it over and over again until he is able. Failure is not an option. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," came the prompt and firm answer from the assembled Rangemen while the first doubts took residence in the five insurgents as to whether their decision against T had truly been the right one.

"With all due respect," Ram straightened up and spoke calmly while he unperturbed locked eyes with Ranger, "I want to voice my concerns regarding the departure time. To me it seems to be an unnecessary risk to comply with the predetermined schedule. We have facts about NISE that shouldn't be ignored."

"It is **my** decision what is an unnecessary risk and what not, Sergeant Major Ramsay," Ranger answered icily. "In terms of facts – we have nothing but the statement of a woman who thinks of herself to be able to read minds. I tend to rely on more palpable evidences. When we leave we'll be more than ready to face any and all imposing threats. Should you doubt that, feel free to leave. That goes for everybody else in this room."

For a minute, Ram held Ranger's glare and wondered what had gotten into the man he considered a close friend and brother in arms. Ram stood four ranks above Ranger, not that it mattered. He had the same security clearance, was on a par with Ranger in anything governmental and suddenly the man acted as if he was in a class of his own. "I'll stay for the time being," Ram answered indifferent, "but I expect my objection to be duly noted." Ram didn't care about pissing off Ranger or losing his job. He wanted to honor T's ambitious work, destroy the egregious drug and free as many hostages as possible.

"The first month we stay here in Trenton and build up your physical fitness. Each morning at 0500 hours we'll meet in the lobby for a five to eight mile run. At the end of the four weeks, you are expected to complete the five miles in thirty minutes. That includes stretching, rotation drills and calisthenic sessions with enough intensity to produce temporary muscle failure in your BEA colleagues," Ranger continued.

The men looked at him dumbfounded, especially the five who now realized that not backing T was a monumental misjudgment. The Atlanta and Boston teams would be lucky to make it out of this training alive.

"In addition you'll do interval training at the track on the compound to improve your two mile performance; eight laps at four hundred yards once per week. At the end, I want the two miles done in less than ten minutes. Also, three times per week we will move to the aquatics center after our morning run. Amongst other things, you will swim a complete lane in full uniform including Load Carrying Equipment and weapons. The swim training will include walking off the three meter board with full LCE uniform and weapons then the prompt removal of equipment underwater. You will shed your LCE and release your weapons while you remain underwater. Upon completion of the task, you will then swim to the pool's side exiting the water. The aquatics center has been informed and given their OK for this training."

By now the Atlanta and Boston guys started to feel uneasy. Knock and Scotch had both been Recon Marines and were comfortable with anything water; but the rest of them had never been Special Forces and only deployed for land operations.

"Regarding push-ups: I want them all – regular, wide arm and diamond. Bench press: work toward 20 reps at 70% of your body weight, 4 sets. Same goes for seated or bend over row: work toward 70% of your body weight, 20 reps, 4 sets. Front Deltoid raises, Tricep extension and dips: 15 lbs, 4 sets, working toward temporary muscle failure," Ranger looked at his men and dared them to open their mouths.

"Sit-ups: 5 sets, each consisting of timed sets of sit-ups for 60-40-30 seconds with not more than 30 seconds rest between each timed set. Flutter kicks and hanging leg raises: 3 sets of 100 reps. Incline sit-ups: 4 sets of 50 reps. Flat bench leg raises: 4 sets of 30 reps. Questions?"

Lester looked at the stunned faces around the table. He knew Ram, Cal and he could fulfill the demands so far without completely overexerting themselves; but he was pretty sure that the rest of the guys couldn't. Besides, he saw no sense in artificially buffing them up even more than they already were – they had other things to train.

_T's way had been the right one,_ Lester thought._ Her real life approach emphasized our limits in re-enacted combat situations. Getting us out there and moving through scenarios as real as possible to see where our weaknesses were and then honing in on each skill specifically. T put us in charge of improving our own deficiencies, always ready with pragmatic advice when needed. She didn't stick to stiff predetermined training schedules that everybody knew – including the enemy. She didn't believe in training yourself dumb in the gym and in controlled situations and then testing your abilities to see how it worked. Fight hard, play dirty, and always be a step ahead. That was T's motto that she had engraved into our minds. She had been right. His cousin had a stick in his ass as stiff as the whole military apparatus itself and it would cost them their damned lives._

"Once per week we will also do a road march," Ranger continued to detail his regiment, "pace 20 minutes per mile, full combat equipment weighing in at 90 lbs. We will start with ten miles and add another two miles each weak until we leave. Regarding your landnav training, I expect you to create your own courses of at least ten kilometers and start at night moving through to daylight. I'm confident you can determine your own proficiency; but you should better not fail once we left for Columbia. After those four weeks here in Trenton, we'll leave for Camp Merrill in Georgia where we will meet up with Ranger School trainees and train survival, combat and ambush techniques in hostile mountain conditions. Food will be reduced to two meals and we'll face an average of 20 hours training with 3.5 hours of sleep. Sometimes we'll go for 24 hours and more without sleep. We'll stay there for three to four weeks before we'll move on to Camp Rudder at Eglin Air Force Base in Florida where we will spend the rest of the time until our departure. At Camp Rudder we will hone everything we trained so far in swamps and jungle-like conditions together with other Special Forces that are preparing for an operation. Questions?"

Again nobody spoke up. Everybody, besides Lester, had dropped his blank face so the others wouldn't see how uncomfortable each of them was in reality. Lester on the other hand showed his feelings openly. He couldn't help the tentacles of wrath and hurt that were clawing at his heart and resolve not to snap. The shock and pain of Ranger's earlier words were still fresh and raw.

"On your way out take one of the schedules regarding weapon and close combat training Tank prepared for you. Your training starts today, we'll meet for our first run tomorrow morning. Dismissed," Ranger ended the meeting and left the room, ignoring his men that slowly came out of there stupor.

"Zero, Willow, Ace, Bull, Harvey," Lester addressed each of them with a fake smile. "Thank you. I hope you are happy," he growled and left the room directly for the gym. Fuck the training schedule. He needed to get in a few rounds with the sandbag before he accidentally killed someone.

"Les, man, look at your hands. You have to stop," Cal and Woody tried to reason with him. Lester had been pounding on the bag for over an hour now, his knuckles swollen and bloody.

"I'll stop when I'm ready to stop," he panted with his anger filled eyes focused on the swinging bag in front of him.

"No, you stop now!" Ram took Lester's sweat-soaked body in a choke hold and muscled the thundering and writhing fighting machine down onto the ground while Cal restrained Lester's kicking legs. Every eye in the gym and at the monitors on four was glued to the escalating situation on two.

Nobody noticed Junior slink from the building and quickly scurry down the street to the diner at the corner. Once there, he slithered into a booth at the end of the long window row. Perched with his back to the wall he had a view not just over the complete shop but also of the street straight down to the Rangeman building. Nobody would be able to surprise and overhear him here.

Junior was filled with anger, envy and malevolence. Ranger had no right to put him on monitor and front desk duties. He'd done nothing wrong. He even apologized for his behavior, though he saw no reason for it. Nonetheless, Ranger kept him away from the mission team and let him slowly rot in front of those stupid fucking monitors even though the IAs were gone. All because of that stupid cunt. Fucking Inferna Angelus, fucking bitch, fucking Ranger - they should all rot in hell. Just as he'd ordered a coffee his telephone rang; 1100 hours on the dot.

"I'm listening," Junior answered the call.

"I'll offer you five hundred grand for regular updates about the mission preparations and Ranger's person. Two hundred fifty now, the rest after he and his team left the country."

"What is it to you?" Junior asked.

"Let's say there are parties who aren't happy with the influence Ranger has gained and his high-handedness. They would like to see him fail, to put him in his place."

The man on the other end of the line took the words right out of Junior's mouth. Ranger needed to get a taste of his own medicine. Junior felt exhilarated at the chance to finally get his revenge. Ranger was going down and it was going to be epic – the end of the Mighty Manoso. Junior was all for anything that would hurt Ranger and his company. He had given everything for Rangeman and was one of its best employees and now Ranger had repeatedly let him down. He would do everything in his power to harm that self-satisfied asshole.

"I'm in," he answered into the phone while keeping his eyes on the street.

"Good. What about the Inferna Angelus?"

"There was an uproar within the mission team concerning that stupid IA bitch. Ranger sent them packing. They left and are no longer part of the team," Junior smirked. Whatever had happened, he was happy that the cunt got dissed.

"Very good," the mysterious man said. "Keep your ears and eyes open. Someone will call you with details regarding the payment." With that the line went dead.

At the Pentagon in DC, DuPuits couldn't stop the smile spreading across his face. The news out of Trenton was gratifying. The IAs and with them the female were out of the picture, Fogger would be pleased. Plus, it seemed that Ranger was slowly but surely reacting to the drug cocktail he unknowingly exposed himself to every day. Very good. Very good indeed.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia, three days later**

The ancient clock above the stove showed the little hand pointing straight at the intricately hammer-forged 9 while the big hand dangled lifeless downward. It's been a long time since the minute hand had made her last move; but Esme had threatened anybody who dared to take the clock from the wall with a painful death. It was a heirloom from Grief and had been in the family nearly two hundred years. The carving on the backside of the wooden casing said 1818 and Esme felt attached to the truly antique clock with all her heart.

Bright and warm sunshine was streaming through the huge floor to ceiling glass front of the kitchen. Toby's dog Emma laid fast asleep upside down in front of the open sliding door. Summer was quickly spreading with seven-league boots and the doors and windows of the Torres mansion seldom closed now. The air was filled with chirping and twittering and carried the scents of the thousands of flowers and bushes scattered over the property. T, her team and Bobby were sitting around the huge dining table in the kitchen, coffee mugs clutched in their hands, poring over the blueprints of the DEA and FBI buildings in DC that covered the table top.

"I say we stick to our plan. We do Jones and the DEA in broad daylight. Marshall will be at the golf course today and you," Rage looked at T, "will know when Jones leaves his office for lunch. It's good that he varies his break times. That way nobody will be suspicious when you knock and enter his office. You'll switch the receiver from his phone, plant another bug in the room and will be out within two minutes max."

_Yeah,_ T nodded her head deep in thought, _that seems to be the best route. Furor, V, Agony, Rev, you will position yourselves with two vehicles 10__th__/Pennsylvania and can pull a diversionary tactic when necessary. You, Rage, will mingle under the pedestrians outside the front entrance – just in case. I'll stay constantly linked with you so we are all on par with each other and you can react quickly._

"Ay, Boss," the men answered in unison.

T smiled at them. Years ago, Rage had started the whole Ay-circus, Rev and Agony as Navy men immediately jumped in and the rest was history as they say.

_OK, in the evening I'll first do Moore and the FBI with the cleaning crew and then off to the Pentagon for a second round of cleaning,_ T pushed to everybody. _Has Peeves set everything in motion?_ She looked at Furor.

"Yes," her second in command answered. "Your name is Marissa, one of Peeves' grand-daughters, and you're part of F6, the FBI building cleaning crew for the sixth floor, where Moore's office is situated. The head of your crew is one of Peeve's nephews, Marine veteran. He'll provide cover in the event of the operation going south. After that we'll meet with Peeves himself. You keep your Marissa identity and he will get you into the Pentagon where you'll be part of crew U3 section 5. Peeves has no one to cover you there; but he's positive that nobody will smell the rat. In case something goes wrong, we'll be outside with six cars and enough firepower to challenge the 4th of July fireworks. With a little luck it will distract security from you enough so you can go poof. I'll meet with Peeve's for lunch and will go through the details again."

"Who is this Peeves? Is he trustworthy?" Bobby asked nervously into the following silence.

_He's become a very good, most trustworthy friend and owns one of the cleaning companies contracted by the government,_ T leaned back on the corner seat and smiled. _We were in Honduras to get a fat-assed idiot of a politician out of the mess he put himself into._

"Just in case you didn't realize it, Puppy," V piped up, "our Angel is holding that apple-polisher in high esteem," he snickered.

_Anyway,_ T glared at V, _a team of Marines had tried to get him out and got overpowered. We were told no one survived. So we work ourselves through that fucking heat and humidity, guns blazing, rounds flying and I get hit in the ass. I was fucking bleeding and it hurt like a bitch; but we never stopped until we had sweaty, stinky Mr. Flubber,_ T made a face that had every one of the IAs roaring with laughter, _in our hands._

Bobby looked at the guys, bent over laughing and wondered what this was about.

"Wait," Rage yapped between guffaws and gulping for air. "It gets better. We were about to turn around and beat it out of that shithole, Angel with the round stuck in her bleeding ass, when we suddenly heard a cry for help. We ask Mr. Flubber whether there's someone else and he has the nerve to say 'Who cares, you are here for me'," Rage couldn't continue to talk for lack of oxygen.

"Of course our Angel had the captive already located," Rev continued. "It was the only survivor of the Marines and let me tell ya she was in a really piss-poor mood. So she turned to get the Marine out and Flubber grabbed her arm and flung her back. You should have seen her face, man. She jerked her arm out of his fatty hand, pulled back and struck with the mother blow of all blows. I swear," now even Rev was fighting for air, "her arm sunk into his fat wobbly stomach right up till her elbow. The look of shock on her face," Rev guffawed in sync with Rage. "She immediately pulled her arm back and looked at it in disgust like it was covered with slime. Then, the whole time shaking her arm in disbelieve, she finally turned and limped to the imprisoned Marine with Agony and Rev tripping after her short of suffocating with laughter."

V, Rage, Agony and Rev all had tears streaming down their face while T watched them with narrowed eyes. _The Marine's name was Darren, nineteen years old and still wet behind his ears. He was Peeve's youngest son,_ she finished the tale.

"And you ignored any given order, got him out and by that saved his life," Bobby smiled at her and caressed her cheek. "My heroine," he gave her a lingering kiss.

_Just did my job;_ _protecting and fighting for those who can't fight for themselves,_ T shrugged her shoulders._ The IAs don't leave anybody behind. Stupid Flubber-fucker,_ she grinned after a minute.

At that moment Rage's cell went off and he smiled at the display. "Hey Marvman, how ya doing? … good … no, six p.m. is fine. You wanna dine with us? … Cool, see ya later, man."

"Marvey is coming on his way to work to pick up the receiver and bug for Terrell's office and he's staying for dinner," Rage grinned. "Says, he can't wait to interrogate his Tigger's boyfriend."

"Marvey? Tigger?" Bobby looked confused at T who just shrugged and signed "Marv is Pooh-bear and I am Tigger," before she started to bounce on her seat grinning at Bobby while her guys began another fit of laughter.

"I can't believe you are one of the best rescue teams in the world," Bobby shook his head at Furor while he watched the ruckus in front of him.

"It's our way of kicking back; works perfectly for us," the calm medic smiled.

"You are aware that it is insane to bug offices at the Pentagon, FBI, DEA and NGA? It'll get you straight into the claws of Homeland Security," Bobby turned to Furor all serious now. T and the rest of the guys were joking around and he needed to be sure that at least one of the team had a cool and clear head.

"Bobby," Furor looked at him for a minute. "I know what you're thinking. Don't underestimate our Angel. The difference between Esme and T is similar to that between Rubén and Muerte. Esme is a kid at heart, loves to laugh, to joke around, to be silly and have fun. T on the other hand is the most extraordinary and calculating operative I've ever met. She can kill without batting an eye and in the most heated and hopeless situations she keeps a cool, clear head and gets us out of it. There's a reason we have voted her for our leader; she's the best of us. It sure is crazy what we are about to do; but we need evidence against NISE and there's only one person who can pull a stunt like this. That person, my friend, is none other than our Angel and your woman. Besides our attorneys are informed should anything happen."

Fifteen hours later.

Bobby engulfed Esme in his arms and squeezed her tight with relief. The IAs forced Button, CP and him to stay at Great Falls in case things turned south and T and/or the team was discovered. That way nobody would associate the three men left behind with the IAs. Now Bobby was just glad to have his woman back in his arms.

"Hmmmmm," he nuzzled her hair. "You smell like a truckload of detergents. I think I need to take you upstairs and have a bath with you," he suckled at her earlobe and nipped down her neck. "We also have to get rid of those brown contacts and that horrible face mask covering your scars. They totally take away your beauty and make you look all wrong," he sucked at her pulse point. "Thinking about it I guess I have to wash and kiss every inch of you to get rid of that smell and deceit."

Esme chuckled, grabbed his hair and pulled his head back from where he was still suckling at her pulse point. _Soon Baby,_ she smiled and kissed him. _We have to do a hardware check first then I'm all yours for days to come._

"Mmmmmmmm," Bobby rolled his eyes with joy and moaned. "I love it when you call me Baby," he murmured as he dove back onto her neck. _Makes me feel all cherished and loved._

"Come on, Puppy. Let go of her neck. We aren't finished, yet," V clapped Bobby on his back as he entered the vestibule.

"Why the heck are you all calling me puppy?" Bobby glared at V.

"Suits you," Rev slung his arm around Bobby's shoulder and pulled him into his side. "You have those brown, saaaaaaad puppy dog eyes," he teased Bobby.

"Besides," Rage was next to pass him. "I doubt you would prefer us to call you Baby," he grinned and made goo-goo eyes at Bobby earning him a mental head-slap from Esme.

"Ouch … fuck … that's harassment, Boss."

_Harassment my ass. Let's get these bugs checked. Someone just promised to wash the smell of detergent off me,_ she grinned at her brothers and pulled Bobby after her to one of their offices.

Bobby stood in the big room with his mouth agape. He knew the IAs' other smaller office. Three work stations with top notch computers for fighting the paperwork, surfing the web and gaming. This, he once more looked around the room, this was a mini-version of Rangeman's high clearance floor on five. Another three work stations each equipped with three 24" flat screens plus a big 103" HD plasma screen on the farthest wall that apparently could be accessed from the work stations.

"Holy Fuck," Bobby spluttered perplexed.

"Yep," Rage put his hands around Bobby's neck like a collar. "Puppies have to be on-leash here."

V took a seat at one of the work stations and fired up the computer.

Bobby was still staring around the room. "I never pegged the Inferna Angelus Syndicate to be so generous in equipping their employees," he stammered.

"They are not," V answered with his back to Bobby. "This all belongs to the boss."

"What boss?" Bobby looked at him confused.

Rage, Agony and Rev all rolled their eyes in unison. "Man, how dumb are you?"

_Stop it, Rage. You had enough fun at his cost. Calm down, _T answered. She was back in leader-mode.

"No, wait," Bobby spoke up. "Enlighten me, I want to understand what's going on here. Whose stuff is all this?" he motioned around the room.

T looked at him for a moment and sighed. _Theoretically, it's mine._

"Wha…? But… How?" Bobby looked at her dumbfounded.

_Bobby, what's my surname?_ T looked at him with a smile. He really had no clue who she was.

"Torres."

_Do you know anybody else who goes or better went by that name?_

"Grief – Nuno Torres."

_He was my dad, Bobby. He adopted me when I came to the States to get the paper stuff straight._

Bobby stared at her while he tried to get his bearings back. "Does that mean all this," he made a general hand motion, "the house and property belong to you?" he asked stunned.

_Yep. Plus these computers,_ she smiled at him. Poor Bobby had no idea what exactly the Torres-estate included.

"Wow!" Bobby grabbed the next chair and sat down. "I always thought that surname-thing was a coincident."

"OK," V piped up, "system's running. Jones, Moore, Terrell and DuPuits are all online," he pointed at the small four pop-up windows on the screen in front of him. "I'll set up Jones and Moore at this desk and Terrell and DuPuits at the other," he motioned with his head to his right. That way each object has its own screen and there's still one screen left to work on at each station."

T nodded her confirmation. _Very good. I want both stations manned from 0600 to 2200; the grave yard shift can be done by just one of you. Furor, make a schedule including Button and CP, please. Rage you do tonight's shift._

"But … V is already sitting there," the 6'5" behemoth in front of her whined. Since the adrenalin of their last stint had left his body he really was a pain in the ass.

_But nothing, you are constantly giving my boyfriend shit. Now man up and deal with the consequences or would you prefer to meet me on the mats?_ Esme locked eyes with him.

Rage glared at her then quickly jostled V out of the chair and started his duty before he got into hostile water. Nobody was keen on mat time with T when she was angry.

Bobby had watched the way T has been dealing with the IAs over the last few days and couldn't help but be majorly proud of her. She was a natural at juggling the powder kegs these men could be. Slowly, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her back to his chest. "Does that mean that you are finished with being boss, now?" He nuzzled her neck.

_Uhuh,_ Esme leaned back into his strong body.

_Well, in that case,_ he looked up into the smirking eyes of the IAs. "The puppy's taking care of the boss now. We are offline until further notice." In a quick motion he threw Esme over his shoulder and was gone before any of the guys could make a smart comment.


	42. Chapter 42 - Operation Lurk

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: There are two things to celebrate: For one Silent Cry had its one hundredth review - High Five to mjsmama; we're still slurping champagne here :) ... Also I want to send some applause to my beta suzq515 for editing with lightning speed - next Christmas you'll get a superhero-cape ;)_**

* * *

**Chapter 42 – Operation Lurk**

**Great Falls, Virginia**

V and Rev were sitting in front of their stations and listening in on the phone calls and office traffic of Jones, Moore, Terrell and DuPuits.

"Damn, kill me before I die of boredom," V let his head drop down onto the desktop.

Rev raised a single eyebrow as he looked over at his brother. He was in SEAL-mode; looking good, being cool and doing his job. It was the fourth day of operation 'lurk' as they had named it after some heated discussion and a final secret voting of 'lurk' over 'smurf.' Rage and V were no happy campers afterward.

"I mean it Rev; how can you sit so stoically and listen to those dumbasses and there office chit-chat. I feel like I'm short of … duh," and again V let his head drop on the desk.

Without moving a single facial muscle, Rev conjured two lollipops out of nowhere, unwrapped them and handed one of them to V. Once the sucker was safely secured in his mouth, he ran his hands coolly through his hair, put his sunglasses on and looked at V.

"The secret of my success, man," and with the same extra coolness he turned his head back again.

It took exactly two seconds before both men bent over roaring with laughter, suckers in mouth. Visual surveillance was a strain; but audio surveillance with nothing to watch was a killer. They were still doubled over with fits of laughter when Rev suddenly jerked up and sat stock-still. He lifted his hand for V to be silent and intently listened into his headphones. DuPuits had come into his office and smashed something onto a surface, probably his desk, while uttering a long string of expletives. Now Rev could hear the telltale sound of ice clinking in a glass and a drink being mixed. He heard DuPuits crossing his office, his footsteps barely perceptible on the lush carpet, and then the creak of his leather chair. Rev closed his eyes, concentrating hard. There was a muted clatter then the barely discernible sound of someone typing a number. As he opened his eyes he saw V stiffening next to him fully alert. Their eyes met the moment the call was connected.

_"Moore."_

_"We need to talk," DuPuits answered and the next moment the line went dead._

"FUCK," Rev burst out. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck." Nodding to V he stalked over to the closed door, opened it, stuck his head out and shouted in the direction of the kitchen. "YO! Anybody get the boss here."

A few minutes later T stood between V and Rev and listened to the happenings.

"We don't get anything from this fucking surveillance shit," Rev ranted, letting go of his pent-up anger. With a forceful sweep, he cleared his desk from pens, papers, the keyboard and mouse.

_Calm down, Rev. It's OK. We'll get them,_ T hugged him close from behind and pressed a kiss on his temple. Her guys had a hard time with being shut down in front of a desk, listening to noises and chit-chat for hours on end. Without immediate progress, feelings were on a rampage in these highly trained men of action.

It was the third time in the four days the IAs were listening in on NISE that DuPuits initiated a phone call to order someone to a meeting. The last two times, the men being called were unknown to the IAs; but with Moore being the addressee, they could be sure the meeting concerned NISE.

_Alright, I want to know what this meeting is about. Two men, two cars; one follows Moore and is responsible for the audio tapping, the other one follows DuPuits and takes care of the visual monitoring. I want pictures of every man DuPuits talks to,_ T turned to Furor who stood behind her and immediately started to organize the surveillance and distribute the equipment.

_Rage?_ T looked around to see where her other reconnaissance specialist stood. _Rage, I want you to go back to the other two calls; we marked the tapes. Find out whom DuPuits called. You have a name, see whether you can work out the called number. It looks like we have to change tactics. DuPuits and his men are extremely cautious. They won't talk on the phones. Our best shot are the office bugs; but I bet they will solely meet outside on neutral ground. Perhaps by identifying the callers and following DuPuits on every step we can at least find out who else belongs to NISE._

_Ay, boss._

_Guys,_ T pushed to everybody, _I know this surveillance is a killer; but I ask you not to fade. We might not get the info we originally hoped for; but we are making progress in little steps. NISE is after me, after us, after Rubén – we can't let them get away. I need your help to bring them down. You with me?_

"HOOYAH!", "OORAH!", "HOOAH!" The IAs bellowed in unison and immediately busied themselves. It was easy to give their best with the way they knew their work was valued.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

"Les, man, this isn't working," Manny insistently talked at Lester. "We are practically unguided."

Manny had asked for a meeting and they were sitting in Lester's office on four. Lester's Bond Enforcement department was in chaos. Everything worked out fine after Ranger took over command weeks ago; but with resuming the command over the mission team, Ranger had no longer cared for managing the Bond Enforcement workload. Without morning meetings to get everyone on a par and detailed briefings how to progress, things quickly got out of control. Now Lester had to acknowledge that three of 'his' guys were in the hospital with gunshot wounds which could have been avoided with better preparation.

"I will talk to Ranger to get you back under my control. In the meantime, I assign you and Hal to straighten things out. First thing you will conduct a meeting this very day. Let everybody put out a summary of what they are doing. Make notes on the overhead projector. Then you tackle one Bond after the other and see whether anyone has any knowledge about the person, family, friends and whereabouts. Collect the information and discuss how to proceed, again with notes. When every case is finished, you and Hal will write the minutes and forward it to every single man so they know what they have to do and what their colleagues are doing. Send one to me, too," Lester advised Manny.

"You expect Hal to step in front of the men and take command?" Manny asked skeptical. He liked Hal; but … "Hal hasn't been himself since T left. I'm not sure he's up to that task."

"He'll be. I'll talk to him. I'll also send an email to the men announcing your assignment," Lester rummaged in the papers in front of him then looked up at Manny. "Manny, I expect you to succeed. Hal has a great organizational talent. Be the voice and let him stay in the background putting the puzzle pieces together and tidying up loose ends. Everything will be fine."

Manny nodded and left the room. Ten minutes later Hal knocked and supported by his crutches hobbled into Lester's office. Three weeks ago he lost the grip on a rope when they were training on the compound. The following drop broke his left leg. It was a complicated fracture that needed surgery and canceled any chance for him to go on the mission. Hal was heartbroken. It was T who got him upright and kicking again. She talked with him for hours and suddenly Hal was back, mentally stronger than before it seemed. That was until T left and Hal crumbled like someone pulled the plug.

"Take a seat, Hal," Lester motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. Hal had remained in a crutch-supported parade rest just behind the door and positively looked like shit. Now he hobbled to one of the chairs as ordered and let himself glide down with his splinted left leg stretched out.

"How are you doing, Hal?" Lester looked at him sympathetic.

"I'm fine," Hal murmured while his gaze remained averted.

"Hal look at me, please." _Damn, T had really done a number on me,_ Lester thought internally rolling his eyes. _Now, I'm even saying please._

When Hal looked up, Lester held his gaze and tried not to let his bad mood show on his face.

"Hal, I need your help. I want you and Manny to take over the command of the Bond Enforcement Department with me being in the background to help when needed." Lester saw Hal's eyes widening. "Before you refuse listen to me," Les said and comfortably leaned back in his leather swivel chair.

"Way before Rangeman was founded, I met a man who at that point had already been a legend and we became fast friends. I'm talking about Rodríguez. From the first day on he believed in me. He saw strategic skills in me I never knew existed. Each time we met he pushed me, brought me to my limits and showed me what I was capable of handling. It was an exhilarating feeling. Rodríguez was also the one who insisted that I become one of Rangeman's founders. He was convinced I could succeed and I strove to prove him right," Les insistently talked at Hal. "I have a similar feeling when I'm watching you, Hal. I know the guys tend to give you a hard time and that you lack self-assurance in front of audiences; but you are skilled. You are great at organizing, Hal, and at putting puzzle pieces together so that suddenly a picture arises. I need these skills. Manny is a good tactician and can do the talking; but I need you in the background to keep the overview and channel the information. Are you up for the challenge?" Lester looked at Hal expectantly.

"I don't know," Hal squirmed in his seat. "I feel honored by your trust, Les; but I don't know."

Lester watched Hal uncomfortably averting his gaze again. He knew Hal could do it; but how could he get him out of his insecurity? Suddenly Les had an idea. He grabbed his cell and dialed a well-known number.

"Hey bro', watcha doing?" He asked Bobby as soon as the call was connected.

"Les, man. You must really miss me. This is the second time you called today," Bobby laughed. He and Esme were lying in the big hammock on the deck roof and were holding siesta.

"Dream on, Bobby. I need T's help," Lester came back. The moment he mentioned T, Hal's head snapped up and Les smiled at him. "Is there a chance she could get on a PC and have a little chat with Hal? She knows my Skype account."

"Sure." Lester could hear rummaging in the background. "Give her a few minutes to put some clothes on and get down to one of the offices," Bobby groaned.

"Damn, Bobby. It's noon and you have her naked and you're groaning. I didn't know you were such a sex fiend," Lester laughed while Hal's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"Shut up, idiot. It's a hot day here and we were sleeping until some dork woke me up."

Four minutes later the picture of Tigger appeared on Lester's notebook-screen. Les clicked a few buttons and turned the notebook to Hal so he could write comfortably from where he was sitting.

"Here, go on. I will get myself a cup of coffee and wait for you in the control room to tell me you agree to my offer," he said to Hal, then stood up and wordlessly left his office while a big smile spread over Hal's face as he saw T winking at him through the webcam.

Half an hour later Hal entered the control room and hobbled over to Les. When he straightened up and looked Les straight into his eyes, Lester could see a spark of new confidence in Hal's eyes. Whatever T had said to him, it had worked.

"I'm meeting with Manny now to compose a plan of action," Hal nodded to Les with a small smile.

Lester nodded and returned the smile. "Haven't expected anything else from you. I'll send an email to the men announcing the change in command. Make sure to meet with them today."

"Will do, boss," Hal openly grinned back at him. It was a seldom sight.

When Lester returned to his office, the notebook was back at his place and a little sticky note was left on top of it saying 'Thanks for believing in me'. Lester couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. So this was what it felt like to be a caring helpful person? Shit, he had to work on wiping that pussy smile from his face. That was so not good in his line of work.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

It was late afternoon. T sat with Furor in the smaller office and listened to the conversation he was having with Agony and V who were following their corresponding targets through DC's rush hour traffic.

"OK, we arrived at a bar downtown. It's jam-packed with some pumping beats. I'll try to get some pictures; but I'm pessimistic about V being able to listen in to them," Rev reported.

"Alright," Furor answered. "You got that, V? Just try your best."

"Will do."

When V finally stepped into the bar, he was hit by an ear-deafening mix of music and chatter. Rev wore high tech specs with a camera integrated into the futuristic temples and stood in the shadows of a corner near DuPuits and Moore. V ordered a drink and casually made his way through the crowd, admiring the prepped and polished bodies he accidentally had to graze. Damn, batting for both teams had its advantages he thought at the lustful feelings swirling through his body. A couple tables behind DuPuits a clique of women was laughing and kicking back. With his best ladies' man smile, V went over to them.

"Excuse me, ladies. May I perhaps have a seat at your table while I wait for my friend?" V winked and flashed his panty melting smile.

The women nearly swooned. V was a good looking man who fastidiously cared for his body. He was able to magically work a room to satisfy his passion. Wistfully, V thought how much fun he could have with those women; but he had a job to do and T would hand him his ass if he fucked up. Internally shaking his head at what he was about to do, V smiled apologetically at the enraptured women.

"Perhaps I should add I'm waiting for my boyfriend?" He unveiled his best crooked smile.

Before the stumped women could ask questions or he could succumb to temptation, V sat down on the empty seat and turned in the direction of DuPuits. _What a crying shame,_ V ruefully thought with a sigh while he zeroed in on the mouths of DuPuits and Moore two tables over. With the noise around him, his equipment was worthless. He would need to read their lips. Neither he nor his brothers were as proficient as T; but they could follow conversations sufficiently enough. Focusing on the two men V cussed internally. They were sitting sidewards to him, their mouths moving in and out of his field of sight. Acting as if he had to roll his neck and shoulders he quickly spoke into the mic fastened under his collar, "Tell Rev to watch Moore's lips. I can barely keep them in sight."

"We need to get him into the team," DuPuits' face left no doubts how serious he was.

V narrowed his eyes in concentration and leaned slightly forward; not exactly what you would call recon on the down low.

"And how shall I do that? Deputy Director Green and Ranger are friends. The negotiations have been between the two of them. I just don't see how I can interfere without risking drawing attention to me," the lean African-American Executive Assistant Director of the National Security Branch at the FBI looked questioningly at DuPuits.

DuPuits gazed at the man in front of him with an emotionless face. V tried to act not too suspicious while he strained to get the gist of what NISE's mastermind was saying. "Moore, I'm sure I don't have to emphasize how important this is for NISE. You have two very beautiful daughters. Don't you want them to grow up in wealth and safety?" DuPuits looked at Moore with innocently raised eyebrows.

_Fuck,_ V wanted to look at Rev to communicate his problems with him; but he couldn't risk missing a single word of the few he understood.

"DuPuits," Moore growled, "are you threatening my family?

Unfazed, DuPuits gulped down the rest of his drink and stood to leave. He leveled Moore with an icy glare, "I'm just directing your focus on what's really important in life. Make sure the laughing stock, that calls himself Junior, gets on the mission team. After all, it's in your daughters' best interest." DuPuits finished with an adamant posture, turned and without another glance back left the bar.

_Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! _V searched for Rev's eyes and raised his shoulders. He had barely understood anything, their faces again and again turning out of his field of vision. Something about Ranger and FBI Deputy Director Greene being friends. Moore organizing something; but doesn't know how. Something about a laughing stock? And then DuPuits threatened Moore's daughters' lives. _What a goddamn fuck, _V clenched his teeth. T should have been here. Without her mind reading abilities they were quickly reaching their limits.

The sun was setting, sending her last warm rays over the Torres estate. Now in the evening, when the air started to cool down, the fragrance of the flowers was multiplied. Bobby lounged with closed eyes in his patio chair and let himself get lost on the birds' lullabies. They had a wonderful barbecue with meat, fish and lots of grilled vegetables; but now T was discussing the day's events with her team and he couldn't listen to them. Even without mind reading abilities he knew what T's decision would be and he didn't like it. A small hand on his arm woke him out of his reverie. Opening his eyes he looked into the most wonderful face on earth.

"Hey there, My Love," he murmured while he rejoiced in every inch of Esme's beauty.

_Hey there right back at you,_ she smiled at him. _Would you come inside with me for a moment? I'd like to talk to you._

Sighing, Bobby worked himself out of the comfort of his chair and followed his woman into the kitchen where she pulled him down onto the bench at the table.

"You're going back to work, aren't you?" He asked a little more defensively than he wanted.

Esme watched Bobby for a moment. He tried to hide his hurt from her; but that was fruitless. "Why did you withdraw outside and not participate in our planning?" She finally signed at him without any anger or reproval.

Bobby was stumped. "Because," he shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not part of the team. My input would make no difference. In the end, you have to do what you have to do," he answered.

"That's not true," Esme signed back. "I mean, it's true you are not part of the Inferna Angelus team; but you are part of our family and you are my man. Your input counts as much, if not more, than everybody else's opinion."

Bobby let his head hang and took a deep breath. When he looked back up, his eyes were shining with emotions. "I don't want you back out there where danger is lurking around every corner. I want you here, with me, shut away on this beautiful property. I want to keep you safe, want to make sure nobody can ever harm you again. I understand that you are an amazing operative, better than all the others put together; but for me you are MY EMSE. Fate allowed me to find two loves of my life. I have lost one, at least for now. The other one seems to challenge death every opportunity she gets. I have a hard time dealing with that, Baby. I want to comfort you, make you happy and carefree for the rest of your life. I … I want to shrink you so I can put you in my pocket and carry you around with me all day." Bobby felt desperate. He had promised to support her; but …

_Hey Baby, stop._ Esme nuzzled Bobby's nose. _I haven't decided anything yet. The guys and I talked through our options and now I am here to discuss them with you. I said I want my decisions to be our decisions and I meant it._

"OK, tell me your best option and I'll put in my two cents," Bobby gave her a small smile and kissed her nose.

_Our bugs obviously aren't getting us the wished information. There is no NISE related communication over the telephone and it seems that DuPuits is playing his cards close to his chest. So provided that you agree I will go back to the DEA and FBI and remove the bugs from Jones and Moore._ Esme could see Bobby's eyes widening._ Then back to the Pentagon where I will switch the existing bug in DuPuits telephone for one much more high-tech that will not just tap into the call; but also get us the telephone number called respective calling. That way when DuPuits calls in a meeting or someone calls him, we can find out whom the called number belongs to and by that perhaps find the missing members of NISE. When a meeting is ordered, I will get out there with Agony and Rev and tap into their thoughts. I promise I will stay way out of the action and the moment the meeting is over I'm all yours to take care of again. Would that be something you can live with?_ Esme cautiously watched Bobby. He was struggling, torn between supporting her in all her decisions and putting her away in a glass globe so nothing could happen to her.

"Is it really necessary to break into these high security buildings again?" Bobby whispered while he caressed Esme's face. He was so scared she could get discovered. No money in the world could get her out of that trouble.

_Baby, the longer NISE is in the dark about our investigations, the safer we remain. Removing those bugs will increase our chances to stay undiscovered. Going back to the Pentagon is a risk, I know; but we see no other chance to get more information about who belongs to NISE. DuPuits obviously is the mastermind. If he willingly and even more so easily threatens one of his closest second row members, then there won't be much exchange between the single members of NISE. Too much fear they could get discovered. DuPuits works with this fear. Our only chance to get behind the schemes of NISE is directly through him._

Bobby looked at her, fighting with his own fear. "You will ask your friend, Peeves, for help again. You will wear that face mask so you don't attract attention with your scars and nobody will be able to recognize you later." He took a deep breath to slow down his pulse.

_I will, I promise! You will wait here again with CP and Button and Agony and Rev will bring me directly back to you as soon as we are finished._

"Sorry for being such a pain in the ass," Bobby crunched his brow and bit his lip. He hated to be such a pussy.

_Nah, you're not a pain in the ass. Though that shrinking part got me worried a bit. I mean, I just wonder how are we supposed to do this when I'm stuck away in one of your pockets,_ and she kissed him first tenderly, then with much more passion.

When they finally had to come up for air, Bobby smiled against Esme's lips. "I can see where my plan has flaws," he murmured while nipping at Esme's luscious lips. "You just can't go without kissing me, right?"

_It would be my demise! How about I tell the guys that you are OK with everything and then you take me upstairs and we work the kinks out of your plan?_

A languorous eye roll and soft moan was all Esme got for an answer as she sweetly kissed Bobby's full lips one last time before going back out to the terrace. With a lustful smile on his face, Bobby watched the woman he loves practically bounce back to her team. _Oh yeah, we will definitely be working out some kinks when you get back, _he thought as he heard her giggles in his mind.

* * *

_**A/N: On a sidenote - I'll be on vacation for the next two weeks. Though I'll have a notebook with me I can't say how regularly I will have a chance to write.  
**_


	43. Chapter 43 - Esme's First Flight

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 43 – Esme's First Flight**

**Great Falls, Virginia **

Esme came awake out of a deep slumber and felt wonderful; refreshed and somehow deeply relaxed. Getting her bearings and scanning her surroundings, she rejoiced in the fragrance of Bobby's skin, the last subtle remains of his after shave and what she learned was the scent of his arousal. Bobby nestled snug to her back, his arms surrounding her, holding her tight to his body, keeping her safe even in sleep. Surprisingly she didn't feel trapped. Far from it, his warmth and deep even breathing calmed her.

Pictures of the night before flared up in Esme's mind; it had been incredible, beyond words. After they went upstairs to her bedroom, Bobby showed her in all detail just where exactly his plan of shrinking and carrying her around in his pocket had flaws and they made good work of ironing them out. Esme felt giddy just thinking about it. After hours of showing each other their love and affection, Bobby finally pulled their bed on its wheels under the skylight windows and she laid in his arms while they watched the stars above them. They were silent, just caressing each other, and it was comfortable. Esme couldn't remember when the caresses became more exploratory or their lips met in passionate kisses; but at one point she suddenly straddled Bobby's waist and could feel his hard cock pulsing between her legs. It had happened a few times before in the fits of passion they tended to end as soon as they were alone; but every time she had shied away from pursuing the intimate contact. However, last night Bobby gently held her hips so she wouldn't uneasily move away. Ever so slowly, never leaving her eyes, he moved his hips upward. His cock feathery slipped into the wetness between her lips and brushed along her clit. Esme's eyes were blazing, the little dark red flecks in her bright limey yellowish green eyes fiery like dancing flames. Bobby held her eyes, looked for any sign of trepidation; but only found longing. Gently he pushed once more and Esme folded down on to his chest and exhaled deeply.

"I love you, Baby," he cautiously pulled her up so they were face to face. "You know that I would never hurt you, right?"

Esme saw the love shining in his molten chocolate brown eyes nip and tuck with his longing. "I know and I trust you," she signed back at him.

"I want to pleasure you, Baby. I want to make you fly. Where my cock just brushed over that was your clit. It's a bundle of nerves that when stimulated enough sends wonderful shock waves through your body and make you feel like you were soaring high in the sky. The same happens when I'm coming. It feels like no other living thing exists in the world besides the two lovers." Bobby's hands had drawn lazy circles on Esme's back and now traveled upward to cup her face. First nuzzling her, he then kissed her and tried to put all his emotions and devotion to her in this one kiss. Bobby was sure it was the right moment to take this next step. He could see the desire in Emse's eyes, felt her reaction to his sensual touches in his mind. "It's an unrivaled experience that I would like to share with you. I won't enter you; you set the rules, you are the one in charge. Just rub your core along my cock and make us both fly together. When you can't handle it, you simply stop and everything will be fine," he kissed her once more. "Do you want to give it a try?"

Esme felt her heart thumping like a freight train. Yes, yes she wanted it and at the same time she didn't. She was scared, scared that it would hurt, that Bobby would hurt her; but he'd repeatedly said he would never do that and she trusted him. Taking a leap of faith, Esme gulped down her fear, straightened back up and put her hands on Bobby's chest to have some balance. Stiff and tense she moved on his cock; but the wonderful feeling failed to appear.

"Let me help you, Baby," Bobby sighned. Gently he held her hips and changed their angle before pushing his cock up again. Esme's eyes immediately closed and she let Bobby move under her while her breathing got more and more ragged. It was wonderful, beyond words. She could feel muscles tense deep inside her, felt similar muscles tense deep inside Bobby. His desire was racing through her veins neck and neck with her own. Esme was so lost in their combined feelings and arousal that it came as a total surprise when suddenly the muscles in her core unintentionally started to contract again and again. And then Bobby and she were indeed soaring. Somewhere in the background of the thrill of her ecstasy Esme felt Bobby's cock start contracting against her clit just seconds behind her and something warm and slippery spread between their stomachs; but she didn't care. Bobby had her tightly pressed against his chest and kissed her passionately and she felt like she was flying with him.

Back in the here and now, Esme cautiously stretched in Bobby's arms and immediately felt his breathing change. His arms tightened and she could feel a moan vibrating in her back. A few seconds later he started to nuzzle her neck and shoulder, peppering them with tiny kisses along the way.

_Good morning, Baby,_ Esme entwined their fingers and squeezed his hands.

_Hmmmmmm, good morning back at you, My Love. How are you? _Slowly Bobby turned her in his arms and suckled at the valley between her breasts. Nipping up her neck and along her jaw he finally found her lips.

_I feel wonderful._

Bobby smiled against her lips. _Me, too. Any doubts about last night?_

_No,_ this time it was Esme's turn to smile,_ just irrevocably smitten with you._

_Smitten with me, eh? _Bobby lowered his head to her pulse point and sucked hard, making Esme push her breasts into his chest. _Am I not a lucky guy?_ He softened the sting by tenderly licking over the reddening skin. His eyes were blazing with mischief as he looked up again.

_I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one here._ Emse smiled. She pushed against his chest and Bobby more than willingly let himself fall on his back.

Locking eyes with him, shoulders rolling, Esme lithesome moved up his body like a stalking cat of prey. She found his lips and forcefully sucked his lower lip between her teeth. With her tongue she trailed along the captivated soft flesh. It was painful and sensual at the same time and Bobby let the air escape from his lungs with a moan. After a minute, Esme let go of his lip and started to follow his jaw with the tip of her tongue. At his ear she sucked in his earlobe and tenderly bit down. The soft skin right behind the little lobe she gently sucked on before travelling down his neck. Bobby was in a state. His breathing was deep, his chest moving up and down as his heart pumped like a bullet train. Esme peeked downward and saw his hard cock nestling between their bodies with a small glistening pearl of wetness on its top. For some reason the sight had her humming with desire. Reverting her attention back to his neck, she started to draw lazy circles with her tongue around his pulse point. The circles slowly got tinier and more and more forceful until she finally bit down, hard.

Bobby growled loudly. The bite hurt and at the same time it was the most arousing he'd ever experienced. Panting he pulled Esme's head back and found her lips for a bruising kiss. He had to get himself back in control; his head was spinning, his cock pulsing with need and his Baby had merely reached his chest. Clenching his teeth and fisting the sheets of their bed, Bobby let Esme continue her explorations. Her hands massaged his pecs starting at his collar bones before working their way down. At his nipples she stopped and just watched him. It made Bobby stir crazy. His nubs were long erected and he just wanted her to fucking suck on them and perhaps biting down. His eyes blazing, he grabbed her naked buttocks and pressed her down on his cock. God, what this woman was doing to him. Esme smiled and something in the way her eyes were dancing alarmed him.

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm in trouble?" Bobby asked while his hands firmly rubbed her thighs.

_Cuz you are, Mister,_ she looked at him astute.

Last night she had the first orgasms of her life and she felt deeply stirred and playful. Authoritative Esme took his hands and entwined their fingers. She leaned forward and placed them next to his head, trapping him. Being immobilized by her turned Bobby so on that he instantly started to pant. Fuck, he'd never been into this dom/sub-shit; but this was hot. Freaking hot. Obviously his Baby felt way more confident when she was in control. Ever so slowly Esme started to brush her lips over his. Their entwined hands still pressed into the mattress right and left of Bobby's head.

_Tsk tsk – you like it when I get all bossy on you, don't ya?_

Bobby's eyes widened at her forwardness.

_Yeah, you like that. I can feel how your blood is pooling in your cock, how he's pulsing between my legs, how your heart is picking up speed by the second._

"Fuck, Baby, you are killing me here," Bobby whispered, his eyes blazing with desire.

_No, not yet,_ and Esme started to nip at his lips from one corner to the other, drawing back whenever Bobby tried to take over.

_Uh-oh, you stay still or I stop,_ she gave his hands a shove into the soft sheets.

First sucking at his upper and under lip, she once more started to make her way along his strong jaw and down his throat. His skin tasted delicious and Esme couldn't get enough of his scent. The whole time she kept their entwined hands aside Bobby's head. Her breasts and hard nipples were brushing along his chest. The feeling send shudders through Esme's body and she rejoiced in the vibrations of the moans she enticed from Bobby. She was playing with him and she felt powerful; unbelievable powerful. When Esme reached his Adam's apple she ever so gently sucked him in. The growl she felt emanating from Bobby made everything in her clench with desire. She loved that she could do that to him, she wanted more of that. Lifting her head she found his eyes on fire – hot molten chocolate burning with desire.

_Keep your hands were they are,_ she commanded cooly and scooted down a bit.

Resting her hands on his pecs, her thumbs started to draw circles around his nipples. First those circles were fairly wide; but soon they got closer until they tightly encircled Bobby's nubs without ever touching them. Bobby was writhing under her. She could feel the desire racing through him to grab her and pull her down on his chest or even better, turn her on her back and then reciprocate the attention; but with iron will he forced himself to keep his hands beside his head. This game of subordination was turning him on to 'the point of no return' as he called it when the need to cum became overwhelming. Bobby had his eyes locked with hers and watched Esme as she lowered her head until she was hovering an inch over his right nipple.

"Baby, please. Please," he whispered and tried to push his chest up; but Esme immediately drew back.

_You are begging?_ Esme smiled down at him before tantalizing slowly let the tip of her tongue travel around the nub.

She pulled her head back and blew softly over the wet skin.

"FUCK!"

Bobby's outburst must have been loud because Esme could feel it in her whole body.

_You want to beg again?_ She baited Bobby.

A low Muerte-like growl was all the answer she got from him. His eyes were no longer molten chocolate; but like liquid lava and Esme felt the precious grip on his control slowly slipping. She dipped down, encircled his nipple again with her tongue before she firmly sucked it in her mouth. In a flash Bobby's hands were around her, holding her tightly while his mouth stormily found her lips for a scorching kiss.

After they came up for air, Esme wordlessly put his hands on her hips. She was long out of her comfort zone; but last night had been like a booster to her confidence. Something was changing in her and she wanted to play some more. Admiring his chiseled body, she put her hands flat on Bobby's abs. The skin was warm and she felt his muscles clench at the contact. Firmly she let her hands glide up and down his abs and side.

_So warm, so soft and yet so hard and tough. _

Esme marveled at the feeling of his upper body under her hands. When she reached his nipples again, she roughly raked her nails over them.

"Good Lord!" Bobby burst out. "Baby, Baby, please, stop," he begged, "I'm about to cum."

But Esme didn't hear him. She looked at his tiny nubs, enchanted and slowly bent forward. An inch above them she stopped, breathing in the scent of the man she loved, the scent she would recognize beyond millions.

"No, Baby, don't," Bobby whispered and shook his head in panic. Every muscle in his body was tensed to the maximum and he felt his control slipping by the second.

With Bobby's arousal pulsing through her body, Esme leisurely licked over the left nipple, enjoying the taste of his skin before she firmly sucked the little nub into her mouth. It felt amazing, like falling; but without the fear. This time everything in her clenched and surged toward Bobby just as he thrust upward, hard. Waves of arousal were breaking over her head as his cock dove easily into the dripping wetness between her lips and brushed forcefully over her clit. The next thing Esme knew was Bobby on top of her, gripping her in a tight embrace, her legs firmly clasping his waist, while he passionately thrust into her. Esme gripped his hair while she moaned noiselessly. With each thrust Bobby skillful rubbed her clit and brought her higher into the sky. Their bodies were moving in sync, their panting filling the room, as Esme felt the muscles deep inside them clench before an enormous release claimed them. Desperately she clung to Bobby who groaned with each jerk of his groin that sent his warm seed between their convulsing bodies. This was nothing like the night before, this was earth moving. Lovingly Emse nuzzled and kissed Bobby's neck as she let him come down and sink into her cussing like a sailor.

When he finally looked up and cupped her face, his eyes were sparkling. "You little vixen," he smiled and brushed his thumps over her cheeks. "You did this on purpose, don't ya? Playing with me until I'd lose control?"

Esme's smile was facesplitting.

Bobby shook his head and buried it back into Esme's neck and hair.

"We didn't even do anything major," he mumbled incredulous. "This has to stop. I'm a grown man for crying out loud. I can't come at the slightest touch like a fucking teenager."

Esme grabbed the short hair on top of his High and Tight and pulled his head back from her neck so she could see his eyes. They were bright and shining and he was smiling the world's most beautiful smile.

_Love ya._

_Love ya back, Baby. That … was amazing. __**You**__ just were amazing._

* * *

**Office of FBI Deputy Director Clark Green, Washington DC**

"Sir," Jarod Moore sat on the opposite site of Clark Green's impressing mahogany desk and looked insistently at his boss. "The information I get from the NSA are very clear-cut. Rangeman will need every man they can get to eliminate the threat. They need to stock up their mission team."

"The mission statement constitutes twelve members and as far as I know, Ranger still has sixteen men in training he can choose from. That's more than enough," Green fixed Moore with a stare that left no room for opposition.

"Sir, I don't want to be disrespectful," Moore looked Green straight in the eyes, "but I disagree. The little intel we gather indicates that they will face a powerful, far-reaching organization in Colombia – otherwise those people wouldn't be able to go international to the extent we know they do. Iran, Libya, North Korea; they all expressed buying interest and to some degree they must be satisfied with the answer they got because according to the NSA and CIA there's an odd silence on the bioweapons market. Rangeman must have as many men on the mission team as possible to succeed at this operation."

Moore was aware that a bigger mission team wasn't in NISE's interest; but it was either that or he saw no chance to get DuPuits' mole back into the team. NISE's headman would have to deal.

Green steepled his fingers under his chin and thought for a moment. He liked Moore. The Executive Assistant Director was a good man, a person of high standing within the FBI. When Moore spoke up, his words usually carried the weight of truth. Ranger was also a good man, one of the best operatives the government had; but something seemed off about him lately. Perhaps additional men were a good idea.

"Your objection is duly noted. I will think about it," Green dismissed the Assistant Director.

Once Jarod Moore was back in his own office he flipped open his cell phone and called DuPuits' number.

"I talked to Green, did my best to convince him that Ranger needs more men. Now we have to wait." Without waiting for a reaction he disconnected.

At Great Falls Button typed away on the keyboard to save and mark the call he just overheard over the bug in Moore's office. It seemed that NISE was in some kind of difficulties.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

**_Gym, 2_****_nd_****_ floor…_**

Junior's cell was ringing just as he finished spotting Willow.

"Talk."

"When Ranger orders you back to the mission team," the voice of his unknown contact said, "you will comply without conditions." The line went dead.

Junior didn't look around to check whether somebody was watching him. He knew better than that. Putting his cell back onto his towel he walked over to the free weights. Last night he checked the bank account that was set up in his name. Two hundred and fifty thousand Dollars were resting snug and warm on the Caymans, waiting for him. The same amount would follow as soon as he called the memorized number and left a message on an answering machine that the mission team had left the country. Ranger was going down and didn't have the slightest clue.

**_Ranger's office, 4_****_th_****_ floor…_**

The phone ringing brought Ranger out of his train of thought. Irritated he stared at the annoying blare. Why couldn't people leave him the fuck alone?

"Talk," he grumbled into the receiver.

"This is Green. About the mission: As far as I remember you started the preps with twenty men. What happened to the four missing team members?"

Ranger felt the irritation in him rise. What the fuck. Taking a deep breath he tried to reign in his anger. Green had been his business partner on many operations; he had to save his face in front of the FBI Deputy Director.

"Robert Brown opted out for private reasons. Howard Mansion, jun. disobeyed direct orders. Alec Alvarez was called away for another operation and Aaron Mitchell had a fatal accident," Ranger listed calmly.

"I understand. You will get Brown and Mansion back on the team. There are no such things as private reasons when it comes to government work. Regarding the disobedience I'm sure you'll find suitable measures to take care it won't happen again. I will see what I can do about Alvarez," Greene ordered imperious. "Did I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Before Ranger could ask why, the call was disconnected.

"FUCK!" he angrily smashed the receiver back onto the phone. He neither wanted Bobby back on the team nor Junior. He didn't really care for Junior, soon enough Tank would find a reason to terminate the man's contract with Rangeman; but Bobby was another story. Ranger felt betrayed by his partner and friend. Bobby had been there in the past when shit hit the fan with Jean Ellen Burrows. The name still left a more than foul taste in Ranger's mouth. Bobby knew the story. Ranger didn't expect anything else from his good-for-nothing cousin Lester than running after that IA-cunt; but Bobby … he had never thought Bobby would betray him like that. He didn't ever want to see that imposter ever again. Standing up, Ranger took one of the chairs in front of his desk and roaring with wrath threw it against the opposite wall.

* * *

_**A/N: Happy New Year to all my loyal readers out there. Sorry, this chapter took so long - I hope you agree it was worth the wait. The next one will be HUGE, seven to eight thousand words, with lots of mission related stuff. You'll also get a first glimps at what could be the reason behind Ranger's irrational behavior. Please understand that writing and editing such a long chapter takes time - I hope not more than two weeks. You all have a nice time. C U later, Babes.  
**_


	44. Chapter 44 - Things Coming To A Head

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: 10,000 words tweaked and polished for your enjoyment. Love-bug-hug to my beta, suzq515 - you're da bestest!_**

* * *

**Chapter 44 – Things Coming To A Head**

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

Ranger sat in his leather chair behind his desk trying to quell the burning anger pervading him. Disobeying orders from the FBI Deputy Director was not an option; but having Brown back on the team was no option either. Ranger felt as though liquid fire was racing through his veins. He'd run ten miles on the treadmill and gone several rounds with a punching bag in the gym; but neither aided in finding a solution nor alleviating the wrath in him. For a brief moment, Ranger sensed a disconnection within himself and wondered whether something was wrong; but as soon as the thought flared up it was dowsed by a tidal wave of self-belief that left no room for any doubts.

"I'm the fucking best operative in the world. Rangeman is one of the best security companies in the States thanks to me," Ranger mumbled to himself. "I won't let some polyester wearing desk jockey fuck with me – no matter how important he thinks he is.

Reaching for his phone he called Junior's cell.

"You are back on the team," he snapped as soon as the call was connected. "I expect you in the lobby tomorrow morning and you better be able to keep up with the rest."

Dialing another number, Ranger sat back in his chair and sorted through his thoughts. When his handler at the Pentagon answered, he straightened up.

"What do you want, Ranger?"

"I need a medic, preferably in full training."

"What about Brown?"

"Medical leave."

"I'll see what I can do," his handler answered and disconnected.

Grabbing his cup of coffee, Ranger made his way to the fifth floor. Woody and Silvio were working silently on the encrypted information from DuPuits' various computers and notebooks. He should pull them off. Who knows whether this whole NISE affair wasn't a scheme invented by 'The Cunt' to sabotage the mission.

Ranger stopped mid-step and frowned. Perhaps that was the key. The IAs were buyable, everyone could contract them. They could be hand in glove with the scumbags in Colombia. A ferocious growl escaped his throat causing Woody and Silvio to jerk in surprise. Ranger continued his inner ramblings contemplating how he'd been so stupid allowing the traitors to take over control. They fed him one lie after the other. Luckily, he caught onto their scheme and kicked them out.

Without acknowledging the two men at their work stations, Ranger sat down and projected the latest satellite images he received from the NGA on the three big screens and scrutinized them. There was absolutely nothing indicating any kind of facility let alone extended laboratories to produce a bio-weapon.

"Underground production plants," Ranger growled incredulously shaking his head. "I bet this entire time we've been looking in the wrong places thanks to those fucking traitors. The Colombian scumbags sure as hell operate around Bogotà and not in some fucking shithole somewhere in the jungle."

To his right Woody and Silvio watched their boss alarmed. Ranger didn't do monologues and even for the employees outside the mission team his behavioral changes became more and more obvious.

"I don't pay you daydreaming assholes to fucking stare off into space. Mats 1800 hours," Ranger snarled at them, making both of them jump as he left the communication room.

"What the fuck," Woody looked over at Silvio who just shrugged stunned.

"I guess we'll be finished by tomorrow night and then I'll beat it out of here," Silvio answered. "Ranger's never been very approachable; but lately he's downright hostile. No need to stay any longer than necessary," Silvio shook his head turning back to the screens in front of him.

Back at his office, Ranger sat down and scrolled through the contacts in his phone. Eventually finding his target he pressed dial and rolled his neck.

"Miss Raider," Ranger frostily greeted the young woman at the other end. "The satellite images you keep sending me are worth shit. Check the foothills east of Bogotà. My latest intel shows some drug related activity in that region."

Without waiting for a response, Ranger terminated the call and steepled his fingers under his chin. He needed to think. The more time that passed the more convinced he became that NISE was indeed a fabrication conjured by the IA Bitch. He'd get his men to Colombia, sniff out that fucking drug lord, fulfill the mission and then come back home. Fucking piece of cake! He wasn't the best for nothing

* * *

**National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Fairfax, Virginia**

Kathy Raider uneasily looked around. She was sitting in her tiny cubicle and wasn't sure what to do next. It had been a year since she was accepted at the NGA and was still stuck with trainee-status. She was unassertive and withdrawn invariably lacking the fortitude to speak up when it came to promotions. So, when Darnell Terrell, head of the NGA, approached her with a private assignment, Kathy was eager to prove herself.

Once a week she was supposed to send a bunch of satellite images provided by Terrell to the CEO of a security company in Trenton, New Jersey. Terrell said he had neither the time nor the desire to deal with the man. Kathy jumped at the opportunity; but now something seemed amiss and she was terrified to report to Terrell. He was an imposing man, former CIA as rumors had it. His eyes were steel grey and sharp as razors. When he looked at you, it felt like a chill was traveling down your spine.

Kathy gulped, rose and with dragging feet slowly made her way to Terrell's office. Terrifyingly his secretary wasn't at her place. Taking a shuddering breath she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth. She had so hoped for the lovely older lady to be her shield. For a moment Kathy paused and wondered why the heck she was so afraid? She had done nothing wrong. Determined to not let herself appear weak, she squared her shoulders, sucked in a sharp breath and with clammy hands knocked on the massive mahogany door.

"Mr. Terrell," Kathy Raider reverentially entered the impressing office of the head of the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency.

"Miss Raider, what a pleasure. Please, take a seat," Terrell smiled sweetly and gestured to the blood red L-shaped leather sofa opposite his desk whilst his menacing glare bore into the nervous woman. "What can I do for you?" Terrell was markedly soft-spoken. Combined with his chilly eyes and profound imperious aura he gave most of the employees the creeps.

Kathy sat nervously wringing her hands and fidgeting on the expensive, butter-soft couch. With each passing second, her anxiety level sky-rocketed thanks to the formidable man before her.

"Mr. Terrell, regarding the assignment you gave me; those satellite images I'm supposed to send to Rangeman," Kathy's already thin voice cracked.

"Yes, Miss Raider? Are there any problems?" Terrell narrowed his glacial eyes in her direction, knowing full well its effect on the weak, mousy trainee in front of him.

"It's just, well," Kathy cleared her throat stalling in hopes to shake the feeling of inadequacy. "The Rangeman CEO called a few minutes ago, Sir and Mr. Manoso claims the pictures would be worthless. He suggested images from the foothills east of Bogotà. Something about drug-related movement in the area? What shall I do, Sir?" Kathy was displeased with her lack of self-confidence; but Terrell was an imposing figure in the department and at the moment his gaze left her doubting her own capabilities to complete this simple task.

"I see," Terrell scrutinized Kathy Raider frostily to further fluster the young woman. She had been a sterling choice. The perfect victim for his scheme: socially isolated, easy to manipulate and oh so anxious to please. "Well, from what I hear you are doing a fine job. Keep it and I may be tempted to hand you another assignment once this one is completed." With a thorny smirk, Terrell stood effectively dismissing his fidgeting, sweating pawn. "I will take care that you are provided with what Mr. Manoso requires.

Blushing, Kathy flitted out of the room and nearly ran into Marvey who took the door from her. She recognized the massive man as one of those selected experts who were processing the satellite images broadcasted from the countless spy satellites in space.

"Hey, you're Kathy, right?" He smiled benignant at the flustered woman in front of him. "Everything OK with you?"

He sounded genuinely concerned, making Kathy blush even more and averting her eyes while she wordlessly hurried off.

Marvey frowned. Rage had phoned him earlier telling him to watch for an opportunity to get the bugs out of Terrell's office; but failed to say why. Were things getting tight? Was Terrell suspecting anything? Was he interrogating the employees? Instantly, Marv's heart rate increased. Did Terrell find the bugs? Taking a deep breath he entered Terrell's office and closed the door.

"Ah, Mr. Wayne, good to see you," Terrell greeted Marvey with his usual sweet smile and icy eyes. "Please, take a seat."

Marvey sat down on the leather couch Kathy Raider just vacated and curiously looked at his boss. The constant playful bickering with Rage and the guys had taught him some stress resilience and Esme had fun teaching him a poker face worthy of an IA. As long as he kept his head in the game, nobody would be able to see what a scared mess he was behind the calm exterior.

"Marvey, you are my best analyst. The NGA is about to undergo some fundamental staff movements. In the course of those maneuvers, I want to offer you a promotion as my Personal Assistant for Geospatial Intelligence Analysis. You'd get your own office and would work in close collaboration with me on intelligence assignments of highest security level. How does that sound to you?" Terrell smiled his angelic sweet smile while Marvey felt like he was examined with x-ray equipment.

_When in wonder about your vis-à-vis, don't act out of the ordinary. Stick to who you are and try to leave the situation as soon as possible without raising suspicion. The moment you are safe, call us._ Rage's instruction echoed in Marvey's mind. Resisting the urge to grip his chest above his dashing heart, Marv successfully kept his nervousness at bay.

"Wow, I don't know what to say," the surprise on Marvey's face was completely believable. "I'm taken aback and feel humbled." For a long moment Marv looked at the carpet as though he was collecting his thoughts. "Truth be told I've never seen myself in such an executive position; but now with your offer…," he trailed off, credibly acting genuinely grateful.

"I have full confidence in your abilities, Marvey. Otherwise I wouldn't offer you a position of such high esteem; but you have to decide soon. I have others in mind who will jump at the chance. How about we meet tomorrow nine a.m. - does that work for you?" Terrell was all friendly and portraying the compassionate supervisor.

Marvey had him exactly where he wanted Terrell. He needed time to talk to Rage so with a thankful and inferior smile on his face he looked at his boss. "Thanks for your understanding, Mr. Terrell. I'm still short of words. I'll think about your generous offer and we'll talk again tomorrow morning; thanks again."

With a big smile plastered on his face, Marv went back to his cubicle and worked on keeping up pretenses. When his shift was finally finished and it was safe to leave the building without raising suspicions, he went to his car in the lot and let out a long breath once he was comfortably seated. The cell was already in his hand to dial Rage's number, when he was suddenly overcome by a gnawing uneasiness. What if they were tapping his cell? What if the car was bugged? Shit Shit Shit! Marv's mind was racing. For the first time he realized this wasn't just some exiting spy game. His life could be on the line and he needed to contact Rage immediately. Turning the keys in the ignition and giving himself a pep-talk that he could do this, Marv started off towards DC.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

"Are you fucking serious?" The giant of a black man thundered in front of Ranger.

Tank and Lester were wrathfully glaring at him, the three men only separated by the massive mahogany desk between them. The air was cackling with electricity, the hostility thickly filling the room like palpable fog. When Tank and Les stormed into Ranger's office, they had slammed the door shut before they cornered their partner about his decision to allow Junior back on the mission team. Now the fourth floor was reverberating with their combined shouting, making the present Rangemen look at each other uneasily.

"You goddamned fuckhead! How could you make this decision without our agreement?" Lester snarled his face red with fury.

"I don't have to consult you for the fucking shit I decide," Ranger shouted back at them. "This is my company, it's my decision."

"Fuck you! This is **OUR** company, asshole. You have to fucking ask us before you make any company related decision. I told you before that I would leave should you keep this shit up," Tank's loud booming voice made the glass cabinet rattle.

"Then go!" Ranger roared. "Go and crawl after those fucking IA's! Crawl after The Cunt! I surely won't hold you back. You are nothing but dead weight to me. Perhaps they'll let the two of you fuck their team whore, too."

The vein at his neck was bulging and pulsating with his fury. Before he could brace himself, Lester had him by the collar and threw him across the room, smashing him into the opposite wall. Those who smiled at Les, labeling him as figure of fun, weren't aware of the brutal beast residing deep within his soul, safely kept away in a cage. The fierce creature abetted his survival on the numerous suicide missions in the past. Now it was roaring with unmitigated rage; it wanted out and Les opened the cage. Within the blink of an eye, the two cousins were at each other's throat, no holding back. Their fists crashed on the other's body and face with incalculable speed. Skin and flesh tore apart under the impact of their hits. Blood squirted, covering their hands and faces. Each of the men jostling for the upper hand, wrestling for a tight enough grip to choke their foe. Alarmed, Tank hurried to the door and threw it open.

"Cal, Zero, Ram," he hollered to the cubicles. "Help me get these fucking idiots restrained before they kill each other."

When the three men rushed into the room and grabbed Lester's shirt, Tank roughly pulled Ranger away.

"Zero, help me," Tank panted, struggling to muscle Ranger down.

"Let go of me," Ranger screamed. His eyes were popping from their sockets, his face was a deep shade of red masking his mocha latte complexion and the veins on both sides of his neck were billowing to the point of near rupture. He was totally out of control. "I will give this traitor what he deserves! Fucking imposter! He's nothing but a manwhore! Let me fucking go!" Ranger kicked around and fought Zero and Tank's grip on him tooth and nail. "I'll get you Lester! I'll get you and when I do you'll wish we'd never met! You good for nothing betrayer! Fucking around is the only thing you're good at doing. You couldn't keep your pants up back then and you can't keep'em up now."

With inhuman strength Ranger ripped out of Zero and Tank's grip and in a flash charged savagely at his cousin. The force of his attack caused Lester, Cal and Ram to stumble backwards. In the next second the two fighters flew out of Ranger's office into the hallway. The hall quickly flooded with Rangemen straining to separate the two fighters; but the force of their combat was overpowering. None of the other lethal men were able to get a solid enough grip on the two unleashed beasts.

For several minutes the gruesome battle continued without any sign of halting. Lester and Ranger's shirts were torn; their hands, faces and upper bodies blood smeared; the sounds coming from them barbaric. Tank, Cal, Ram, Woody, Hal and Vince circled the battle watching for a gap in the fierce action; but with the movements so rapid and precise the onlookers had no chance of dividing the feuding men.

Tank knew they had to act and fast before one of them would kill the other. Desperately he tried to grab Ranger by the belt of his cargoes; but caught Les instead. For a fraction of a second, Lester lost his balance; but that was all Ranger needed. With indescribable force he threw himself at his cousin and they both crashed to the floor with Ranger on top. The thud of Lester's head smashing on the floor echoed off the surrounding walls. Immediately, Ranger's hands were around Les' throat and kept slamming his head into the linoleum while choking him.

"You're filth," Ranger screamed insanely. "Nothing but filth! You don't fucking deserve to live! You fucked her! She was mine and you fucked her! Some fucking cousin you are betraying your family! I hate you! Now you're fucking doing it again! You brought the cunt into this company and she's taking over. Just like Jeanne-Ellen! Fucking around and then she'll vanish and take everything with her. You aren't worth shit," Ranger forcefully spit into Lester's face.

Before Ranger realized what was happening Tank, Cal, Hal and Vince picked him up and muscled him down. At the same time, Ram and Woody pulled an unconscious Les to the side where he was instantly surrounded by a protective circle of Rangemen. As soon as Ranger was down and secured, Zip quickly injected him with a strong sedative that Bobby kept for emergencies at his infirmary. Without a medic in the building, Zip had taken over some of Bobby's duties; but the costs for stopovers at the ER had skyrocketed. One look at Lester told Zip that they had to get him to St. Francis and fast. He was out cold, a wound on his head was bleeding profusely and with the repeated smashing to the floor a concussion would be the least of their worries.

* * *

**Finnigan's Wake, Washington DC**

Marvey sat at one of the tables in the shaded background of the Irish pub and waited for his friends. It was a small local place he regularly frequented. The red brick exterior wore a weathered look and a thorough cleaning of the lattice windows was long overdue; but the atmosphere inside retained its rustic charm. The food was authentic Irish fare and the owner took good care of his patrons.

On his way back from Fairfax, Marv had stopped at a gas station and had called Rage from their payphone. Just as he took the first sip of his Guinness, the front door opened and Furor, Rage and Esme entered the pub. The murmur filling the front room over the quiet music immediately stopped as the patrons took in the lethal men and woman entering their safe haven. It wasn't the first time they were meeting here; but with the fierceness the IA's were exuding on a good day, they were danger personified when they were in their zone like tonight.

"Hey man," Rage and Furor greeted him with fist bumps and a manly hug before Esme could hug him close. "Any conspicuities on your way here?"

"No, nothing as far as I am aware. Where are the rest of the guys?"

"Agony, Rev and two friends of ours are monitoring the area just in case; V is checking your car for bugs. Afterward he's coming in to check your cell," Rage replied.

Ten minutes later V immerged next to them.

"No bugs; but I did find a GPS tracker professionally attached to the undercarriage. It couldn't be found without specifically looking for it," V updated them while he took his seat and helped himself to a sip of Marvey's beer. "I left it there until we decide how to handle the situation. Your cell?" He stretched his hand toward Marv who watched fascinated as V quickly took the phone apart to its single components. "All clear," the full-time medic part-time computer geek stated satisfied.

"Does that mean I can call you from my cell?" Marvey questioned looking at his friends.

"No," Esme signed with clipped and precise movements. "It just means that there's no GPS tracker in your phone. It can still be tapped. Don't use it to get in contact with us." A war was brewing deep within T. Her face pulsating with self-directed wrath causing Marv to gulp. This wasn't his spunky little Tigger. The aura of the woman in front of him was unsettling.

"Here," Rage pushed a secure SAT phone over the table. "Use this. It's an untraceable satellite phone for emergencies; otherwise, use public payphones."

Once more Marvey looked around at the faces of his friends. Their laid back personas which he had grown accustomed to were absent from their appearance. Each of them was humming with ferocity and for the first time Marvey could see why people would be scared of them.

"Listen," he tried to appease them. "It probably is nothing; but he's offering me a promotion. Think about what this means for you. I would work in close collaboration with him and possibly have access to his office any time, day and night. I'll be in the Lion's Den. Think about the wealth of information I can gather for you," he smiled, excited at the idea of helping them even more. When his eyes fell on T's face, Marvey shrunk in his seat.

"Are you insane?" She signed forcefully. "Don't you get it? They are after you, Marv. They put a tracker on you. I don't give a flying fuck about any information you could get. You won't go back to the NGA. Furor, Rage and V will accompany you home so you can pack some bags. We will take care that you are safe. There are several options of secure houses we can offer you. You will stay there until the threat to you is eliminated." Esme's face was hard, her vibes cold. For as long as they've been friends, Marvey had never seen T so irate before.

"But," he looked to Rage seeking support. "But if I don't appear at work tomorrow they will know that something's fishy."

"He's right, Angel," Rage spoke up. "Perhaps, at this point they only have an assumption; but nothing more. Think about it, **IF** they had more, Marv would already be dead. Taking him away from work will put the spotlight on him and NISE will know that we are onto them."

"I won't put him in any further danger!" T was right in Rage's face. Her blood was boiling. She chastised herself for falling back on Marvey in the first place. He was a friend, a close friend, a civilian who thought this was some exciting game.

"Esme, please," Marv looked at her with pleading eyes. "I can help. Consider it cashing in a favor, please. I'm the best chance for you to have access to any satellite pictures. Please let me go back and do my job. I promise I will be cautious."

"No!" Her icy glare sent chills down Marvey's spine far worse than those caused by Terrell.

"T," Furor quietly turned to her. "You know you'll have my full support whatever you decide; but Rage and Marvey are right. We have no evidence that Terrell found the bugs. There's a good chance that NISE simply knows about Marvey's personal contact with us and because of that they want to keep close tabs on him. You know damn well that when he doesn't show up to work tomorrow, a bulls-eye's gonna appear on his head. We would achieve the opposite of what we want. Whereas, he goes back to work as though it's just an ordinary day; but we put safety measures in place in case something gathers our suspicion, he'd be safer than otherwise."

T furious locked eyes with Furor. _I won't let him get any deeper than he already is. He's a fucking civilian, Furor, and a close friend! I want him safe! Period!_

_Angel, _Furor looked at her intently._ He's my friend, too, and I would be devastated knowing I was responsible for his injuries. Believe me, his safety is all I have in mind._

_Then we'll get him to a safe house and this conversation will be over! _T glared back at him.

_If that is your last word, we'll do that; but are you really sure it's the safest thing for him?_ Furor hated to stand up to her, to see the malevolence in her eyes directed at him; but that was the reason the guys had voted him as second in command. He had it in him to stand up to her and to hold his ground. Out of all the other IA's, he and T complemented each other perfectly.

The whole time Marvey had watched the staring contest between his friends as the energy between them got chillier and chillier. He didn't want his friends to fight over him. Before Rage could hinder him, he spoke up, his voice firm.

"Esme, years back you saved my life and because of you I suddenly had a bunch of friends who liked me and wholeheartedly supported me through my struggles. Since then, we've fought through some really bad times together including Grief's death, your attempted suicide and the darkness that followed afterward. You all have done so much for me. Now I have the chance to give some of that back to you. Please accept my offer. I'm fully aware of the dangers I face. Not going back and providing you with the SAT images could lead to **your** death. You may not care about that; **but** I do. I want you to come back from this assignment, I mean **ALL** of you," Marv paused to catch the eyes of each person at the table. "Cuz without you my life wouldn't be worth shit. Don't mistake me for some stupid civilian who doesn't know his ass from his elbow. Consider me a true friend who wants to help you as best as he can, even though it puts his life on the line."

Without advance warning, T vaulted from her chair toppling it over as the muscles of her upper body tensed visibly. A noiseless roar, begging to be heard, tore through her gaping mouth before she slammed both hands flatly on the table. Her team stilled in the face of her sudden unexpected outburst; while Marvey and the nearby patrons blanched. Violently T turned, kicked her chair out of the way and stormed off in direction of the bathrooms.

"Why is she so angry?" Marv blurted out.

"Because she cares for you deeply," Furor answered his question calmly while V picked the chair up. His eyes lingered on the spot Esme had vanished and his heart hurt for her. He had a feeling that finally his little Angel could have reached the end of her rope. "She's lost many people she's loved in her short life," he turned back to Marv. "That's why she's so protective of those she allows in her heart. A person can lose just so many loved ones before it becomes too much."

A few minutes later T came back. Her hairline showed the wet remains of her freshening up and she appeared to be calmer, more composed.

"Your condo has two guestrooms, right?" She signed straight to Marvin who nodded.

"I will hire two bodyguards that will remain with you 24/7. Until they arrive, Rage and V will stick to you like glue," she looked over to her two brothers and they lifted their head in affirmation. "Furthermore, you will accept a new car, fitted for the demands of the situation. During the day, the bodyguards will be in the lot of the NGA. At night, they will keep you safe at home. You **WILL NOT **leave without them, no matter how small of an errand you have to run. They will become your constant shadows. You'll keep the SAT phone. Should anything suspicious arise and they aren't around, you'll call them and they will get you out – no matter where or the consequences. Are we clear?" She menacingly stared at Marv.

"Yes," he gulped and nodded his head. "Shall I accept the offered promotion?"

"Would you have accepted it under different circumstances?" T signed with a blank face.

"No, I'm not one who likes to be put in the spotlight."

"Then you will decline. Rage and V will work out what you'll tell Terrell. I'm finished here," T replied and turned on her heels.

_Agony, Furor, truck!_ She bellowed harshly in her mind as she angrily pushed her way out of the pub, making the two men on surveillance feverishly scramble back to their Escalade double time.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

When they arrived at Great Falls half an hour later, T was shaking with fury. Before the truck could come to a stop, she jumped from the backseat and stormed into the house. Bobby was just crossing the polished marble foyer when she barreled past him toward the kitchen, not acknowledging him at all. Within seconds, an ear-deafening noise originating from the kitchen brought Bobby, Agony and Rev charging in that direction. T had the cupboards open and was violently flinging dishes to the floor and the opposite wall. Plates, bowls, mugs, cups and saucers were shattered over the tiles in myriads of shards. The kitchen was pulsing with destructive energy. With each throw, T seemed to scream, her body convulsing. She was undiluted wrath and for the first time Bobby caught a glimpse of the relentless warrior that was hidden below her laid back ways.

"What the fuck happened?" He turned to the two IAs behind him with stormy eyes.

Agony and Rev simultaneously shook their heads. "We don't know, man. She, Furor and V were meeting Marv inside the pub. We were surveying the area together with Button and CP when her ice-cold command to meet at the Escalade blasted out of nowhere. So we high tail it back to the truck. Then silence. No explanation, no conversation, nothing, the whole way back here."

Bobby turned back around to see pots and pans followed by the coffee maker sailing through the air heading for the massive walls on the opposite side of the room. He ogled the craters embedded into the wall from the impact. T's face was red under her roasted hazelnut skin as she launched vicious kicks and punches against the cupboard doors before heaving the microwave from its place and smashing that onto the floor, as well. Somewhere in the back of her mind a voice was screaming at her to stop; but she couldn't. Pictures of Sassà, Linho, Hurt, Slash, Grief, her uncle Ramiro and Jokester were passing by her inward eye. They were all dead. She had let them in, she had loved them, and they had all been taken from her. T's eyes were on fire, her movements wild and uncontrolled, the anger burning up in her. Soundlessly screaming at the pain in her heart, she grabbed the ceramic canister with the flour from the counter and flung it against the wall. Instantly flour-dust started to spread throughout the kitchen, crawling along the floor, hanging in the air like a never-ending fog; but T didn't care. Next, she swept containers with Cheerios and Fruit Loops onto the mix of flour and shards giving the destruction around her some cheerful ambiance. The thermoses for the guys' coffee followed and then her eyes fell on the butcher's block with the knives. With a feral snarl she ripped one knife after the other out of the block and hurled it across the room into the wooden door of the pantry. Bobby saw blood oozing from a wound somewhere on her throwing hand and cautiously inched towards her just to freeze within his first step. Without ever losing steam or blinking an eye, T gripped her Baby Glock from behind her back and emptied it into the bullet-proof glass of the sliding door. Embedded rounds now obscured the mansion's otherwise breathtaking view of the Potomac.

Agony, Rev and Bobby stood shocked at T's violent outburst. For one of the longest seconds of their lives, their hearts and breaths stopped before restarting again. Before they could react, T turned and pushed past them, barreling out of the house. The three men scrambled to follow her. They found her in the gym a few minutes later, brutally pounding away on one of the punching bags dangling from the ceiling. She hadn't taped her hands and her knuckles were already bruising from the insane speed and force she was putting out.

"Leave me alone with her," Bobby turned to Rev.

"No," Agony answered. "We are respons…"

"An. . ," Bobby impatiently interrupted him mid word. "I'll call you **IF **I can't handle her. OK? Please, just let me try to reach her," he aimed to pacify Esme's self-appointed guardian.

With a few encouraging nudges, Rev led his partner out of the gym and back toward the mansion, leaving Bobby and Esme to themselves. Once the door had closed behind them, Bobby cautiously approached T to hold the bag for her.

The force of her blows surprised him. So far he'd just dealt with the various facets of Esme and got to know T, the cool and laid back leader of the IAs. This, however, was none of them. On the other side of the punching bag, moving lithesome like a cat of prey, was nothing less than a lethal fighting machine letting loose of all the pent up anger in her.

Watching the empty glacial expression on her face, her focused eyes and the undiluted force of her movements, Esme reminded Bobby of a female Muerte. He wondered how much of his Love was left in the woman in front of him. He got his answer twenty minutes later, when T's movements slowed down and became less forceful. As sudden as the outburst began, it ended.

Gradually, Bobby stepped in front of the bag watching his woman, attempting to assess what anger remained in her. Esme looked up into Bobby's compassionate eyes and the fire of rage in her was gone, her green eyes sparkling with captivating red flecks full of spirit. It was exactly like years back when Muerte pounded the bag. The moment he was finished and looked up, he was gone and Rubén was looking at him with his brown twinkling eyes full of mischief. Bobby didn't know what had happened to grant this bout of wrath; but he knew exactly where he wanted to have his Esme. Opening his arms, he was relieved when she stepped into his embrace and let herself be engulfed by his calm and strength.

"How about we go back and you take a shower while I find Agony and Rev to assure them that everything is OK. Then we snuggle into the hammock and you can tell me what happened that had you so agitated." Bobby rubbed soothing circles on Esme's back and felt her gradually relax and release the last of the remaining tension cooped up in her tiny body.

When Bobby entered their bathroom fifteen minutes later, the sight in front of him took his breath away. Three of the shower cubicle's walls were made of glass allowing for the view of the magnetic beauty in front of him. Esme was way too thin for Bobby's peace of mind, the skin stretching tight over her ribs and pelvic bones; but nonetheless her body was sensuously shaped like an hourglass. Her shoulders were defined and powerful, the muscles on her upper arms chiseled and her pecs held her breasts firmly in place like two round globes begging to be touched and kissed.

In his thoughts Bobby felt his tongue circling her nipples before gently sucking on them, alternating between the two before exploring the valley between her soft mounds. Even in his mind he could taste Esme's sinful flavor. Leaving her breasts, the vast playground of her abs unfurled in front of his greedy tongue. Due to the anatomic difference, it was a hard for a woman to develop the feature of visible abs; yet Esme's firm four-pack, the maximum the female body was capable, bore a silent witness to the strenuous workout she packed away every day. God, he loved to let his mouth travel along the ridges of those four vibrating muscles. Feeling the strain on his zipper, Bobby shook his head to get back to reality.

Esme was still motionless standing under the shower. The water cascading down all around her adorned her curvaceous form as a soft frame orchestrating the most captivating view he'd ever seen in a woman. Gripping his chest to keep his erratic heart from fluttering out of his body, Bobby gave his eyes the permission to revel in the sight of his Love. When Esme still hadn't moved after several minutes, he quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower.

_Hey Baby,_ he gently pulled her back against his chest and tightened his arms around her. _Is everything OK?_

Esme's shake of the head broke his heart. Without opening her eyes she turned in his embrace, snaked her arms around his waist and held tight.

_Can you just hold me for a while?_ Bobby heard her thoughts in his mind.

Instead of a reply he stepped even closer to her, making them stand head to toe skin to skin under the spray while he tried to give her the comfort she sought. For a small eternity the only sound in the bathroom was the sprinkling of the shower head descending upon them with the softness of warm summer rain.

Eventually, Bobby felt the muscles in Esme's back gaining tension as though preparing to straighten. When she finally gazed up at Bobby's face, her eyes were shining with love and reverence triggering his heart to miss a beat or two.

_Will you let me wash you?_ He thought while he looked into the deep green pools of love.

When Esme nodded her head, never leaving his eyes, he grabbed the bottle with her shower gel and started to lovingly lather her body. Once he deemed her clean, he washed her hair, rinsed it, applied a generous amount of conditioner and thoroughly rinsed her again before gently turning her around.

"Thanks for letting me do this," he whispered, his forehead touching hers.

_Thanks for doing it, _Esme cupped Bobby's face and softly kissed him. _I have to contact someone to get bodyguards for Marvey and I need to talk to Furor for a minute. Plus, I'm starved. Are you OK with us going downstairs for a while so I can finish up the day? Then we can eat something before we retreat back to our Sanctum here._

_Of course Baby, anything for you._

An hour later the two lovers finally laid snuggled close in the hammock on the roof terrace silently watching the sun setting in the west. Esme's head was peacefully resting on Bobby's chest over his heart while he drew lazy circles on her back, completely lost in thoughts.

_I can smell smoke,_ she smiled up at him after a while.

"You know what I'm thinking about," he kissed the tip of her nose and drew her head back onto his chest. "Will you tell me why you got so angry today?"

For a moment Bobby felt Esme's body tense up then release a long exhale.

_Marvey's life is in danger. I wanted to put him into a secure house to keep him safe; but he wanted to go back to the NGA to keep digging around for us. Rage was on his side, then Furor fell in step with them, too, and I saw red._

Bobby pensively contemplated Esme's words. _That's not all there is,_ he pressed a lingering kiss into her soft and fragrant curls.

For the longest time there was silence between them. Just when Bobby wondered whether he should say something, he felt Esme take a long shuddering breath.

_Something's changing in me. I am changing and it unsettles me,_ Esme thought.

Bobby couldn't help but tense under her. _What do you mean, Baby?_

_I don't know. It's difficult to explain_, Esme hesitated. _I love my work, I really do. The Inferna Angelus is my purpose in life. I accept there are risks that accompany any of our assignments and I've never doubted my commitment, not for one second. It's not that I want to die; but up until a few weeks back I didn't care either._

"And now you care?" Bobby asked quietly, knowing she would read his thought.

Esme nodded. _I'm not sure how to explain it. I grew up in a world of brutality and bloodshed where being violent was the only way to survive. I always believed that was how to live a life; but these last weeks you've showed me a different life. An existence that isn't determined by the fight, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. First, I'll be honest, it unsettled me, made me anxious; but now … it's as though with every day that passes and we are getting closer, pieces of my shell are being chipped away unveiling a new and different Esme. A woman I don't recognize. She is soft and has longings that I'm not accustomed to feeling. Suddenly the thought of continuously having to fight and risk my and others' lives is repelling; but it's my whole nature of being. I don't know how to live a secure and peaceful life. I feel like I'm losing myself. What once was doesn't count anymore; but it's all I know._

Bobby reassuringly tightened his arms around her. "That sounds to me like you are at a crossroad with an unknown path looming ahead of you." Nuzzling her head, he breathed in the fragrance left in her hair from the conditioner. "Tell me about this new Esme. How would she like to live? What would she like to do for a living? What longings does she have?"

Esme sighed._ I dreamt of Grief and Uncle Ramiro last night. Having the image of them fresh in my mind reminds me of how they doted on me and kept me totally protected from everything. In the beginning, when Grief first brought me here, I thought their safeguarding was overbearing; but once I grew accustomed to being treated as a princess I felt a carefreeness I'd never known was possible. After their deaths I closed myself off morphing into T and rejoining the world where brutality reigned and warriors battled. Bobby, I'm not certain I could go back to such a passive way of living again; but somehow I'd like to feel that serenity, at least from time to time. You and Rubén have brought that back to me to some degree and I want more. I like the way it is now, with my family close by, everybody safe and secure. I don't want to risk dying or even worse losing more of my friends and family; but how do I accomplish the balance? How can I live in both worlds? How will I respect life one minute only to take a life in the next?_

With every thought Esme's breathing developed more into quick and ragged gasps.

"Shhhhhh, Baby. It's OK." Bobby soothingly caressed her face. "Is that why you got so angry earlier when Marvey and the guys decided to continue risking Marv's safety by having him go back to the NGA?"

Esme looked up and nodded, her eyes filling with tears. _I don't know what's wrong with me Bobby; but I don't think I can handle losing one more person close to me. First Sassá, then friends Linho and I made over the years, then Linho himself. Jokester, Slash, Hurt. Grief and Ramiro, they were my adoptive dad and uncle. I've never had a dad before Grief adopted me. They got killed and I fucking survived. It should have been me instead of them. Everybody I let into my heart dies. I've always thought of death as a part of my life; but suddenly the thought of losing just one more loved one is unbearable. I can't take it anymore. I want everyone protected and close to me so I can watch out for them and make sure nothing can happen to them._

_And, _Esme took a shuddering breath,_ and the thought of losing you makes my heart stop and I can't breathe anymore. It scares me so much. Now that I have you I don't know how I could ever go on without you in my life and it's terrifying me. I love the way you protect me and care for me. The way I can let my walls down when I'm with you. I want that for always and forever. I no longer want to be the distrusting fighting warrior all the time; but it's wrong for me to think I could be anything else. You fell in love with an always strong and independent woman. You don't need some clingy weak wuss at your side._

Alarmed, Bobby put his fingers over Esme's lips to get her attention. Her thoughts were spiraling out of control and he needed to stop her before she got lost in her head.

"Baby, you need to stop," he looked intently at her. "Yes, I fell in love with your strong side; but as our relationship grows, you are allowing those walls around you to crumble and I love the softness I get to know. You said it yourself – I'm a caretaker at heart. I admire your strength; but letting me protect and take care of you is the most precious gift you can give me. Believe me, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you and if you'll let me, I'll love you with every fiber of my being. I swear I'll stop at nothing to see that you feel safe, secure, happy and supported in everything you want to do."

Esme snaked her arms around Bobby and buried her face into his neck. She heard his words and she believed them, albeit, apprehensively. What would happen when something unsettled her? Would his vows of love and affection drop out of her mind giving her insecurities room to grow? Bobby lovingly rubbed her back and placed soft kisses along her neck and shoulder.

"When you don't like the way your life is moving, then stop," he whispered in her deaf ear. "We'll find new challenges for you, together. You aren't alone in this; I'm right by your side, always," Bobby tightened his arms for a moment to emphasize the sincerity of his words. "Life is all about changes, Baby, and you have all the time in the world to get to know your new softer side and find out what you'd like to do and what not. Remember Grief's favorite quote: 'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.' Regarding your family, perhaps we can talk with the guys. Who knows, maybe the thought of a change is appealing for them, too? I know for a fact that they love you and would lasso the moon to see you happy."

Bobby felt Esme shiver in his arms. The sun had long gone down, rendering Great Falls to a chilly night, too brisk for her short skirt and spaghetti strap top. Effortless, he worked them out of the hammock cradling Esme against his chest. This time he didn't have to ask when they stood next to their bed; she understood his need to tend to her. Gently, he stripped her down and wrapped her up in one of his T-shirts before divesting his own clothes. Lying spooned under the skylights there was one thought keeping Esme's head busy.

"What is it, Baby?" Bobby squeezed her from behind.

_How do you know?_

_Your body is all tense and I smell smoke,_ he smiled and nibbled at her neck.

_What about Rubén?_ Esme turned in his arms to face him, her green eyes full of worry.

_Well, _Bobby thoughtfully caressed her face,_ we both love him._

_I miss him so much, Bobby, him and Muerte; but it will hurt them to see us together. They will feel like the fifth wheel. I don't want to hurt them, I can't do that to them._

Bobby smiled softly and gently brushed his lips over hers before kissing them. _They don't have to feel like the fifth wheel. We could embrace them with our love and make them a part of us._

Esme scrunched her brow and looked at him confused. _What do you mean?_

Bobby's eyes scanned her face, taking in every detail – the scars, the perfectly curved brows, her thick long swung eye-lashes, her captivating green eyes, the hint of dimples waiting to deepen as soon as she smiled and lastly, her full lush lips begging to be kissed. Once more he was stunned by her beauty. This was it, the moment of truth. He had thought long and hard how to approach the subject with Esme; but there was no perfect way to tell her what he had in mind.

"Baby," he tenderly stroked her cheek and temple before losing his hand in her curls. "Without holding back, what do you feel for Rubén and Muerte?"

Esme gulped. She had thought about this a lot lately; but how do you tell the man you love that you think you also have feelings for somebody else, let alone two other men. The thought alone was overwhelming her and making her feel like a traitor. Just a few minutes back Bobby had told her again that he loved her and would never leave her so she had to take a leap of faith and simply jump without knowing the outcome.

_Before Rubén fell back into this stupor, I felt attracted to both of them, Muerte even more than Rubén. The guys thought that I had fallen in love with him._ Esme took a deep breath for courage. _I don't know whether my feelings for him could have developed like my feelings for you; but I longed for him to touch and kiss me. Then he broke down and you and I fell in love with each other._ Esme exhaled._ I know these feelings for them are wrong because we are a couple now. _She rambled on,_ You asked and that's just the way it is; but now everything is different cuz I have you._

Bobby sweetly kissed her warm, pillow soft lips. "Nothing about these feelings is wrong, Baby," he whispered against them before pulling back and cupping her face with his free hand. "For so many years, Rubén and I were a couple. He'll forever be etched in my heart. The thought of excluding him from my life physically hurts me."

_What do you mean?_ The confusion in Esme's eyes grew by the minute.

"I mean, we are both in love with Rubèn, you even with Muerte, and in my opinion there is nothing wrong with sharing that love. In certain instances, the heart wants what the heart wants and people find themselves falling in love with more than one person."

_But that's not normal,_ Esme's pupils had widened with concern. _I'm just getting used to being the center of one man's attention. How is that supposed to work?_ Small pearls of perspiration were building on her forehead and Bobby could tell she was getting more and more agitated. _I could never, I, I'm just learning to deal with one, _Esme frantically shook her head.

"Baby," Bobby tried to get her attention. "Baby, calm down. Everything is fine. Hush, Baby, hush" he pulled her in his arms and soothingly rubbed her back. "Everything is fine. I didn't want to scare you."

"Look," he continued when he felt Esme relax in his arms. "This is nothing that would happen any time soon. At the moment, Rubén unfortunately remains in a catatonic state. We know little about what will happen once he awakens and even less in regard to his memory. So much water will go down the river before we even have to start thinking about what will happen with Rubén and us. I just thought the three of us together could perhaps be an option for the future."

Esme laid motionless in his arms and chewed on what Bobby had just told her. After the first shock had worn off, she remembered the warm fuzzy feelings she had that last day when she laid in Muerte's arms on this very bed she was now lying in with Bobby. Those were warm and tingly memories and she wondered whether she would haven them again once Rubén woke up.

_How is that supposed to work with three people? Isn't there always one spare? One would always be hurting._

"Why do you think that?" Bobby gently moved her head up so he could look into her eyes. "For example, when you share a bed with Agony and Rev, did you ever feel like you were the spare?"

_But I'm not part of their relationship._

"You are in a certain way. Imagine Rubén was here right now. We'd be lying in this bed in a threesome, you probably sandwiched by us, snuggling with each other and talking about our day. There would be nothing hurtful about this for anybody."

_But it wouldn't be normal._

Bobby smiled sadly at her. "Nothing about us is normal, Baby. You literally grew up on the streets in the most horrible conditions imaginable. Rubén grew up in an abusive home until he was adopted. The two of you share that horrific experience of being raped and tortured within an inch of your lives. I grew up in wealth; but without any affection at all, let alone love, always reminded how worthless and what a mistake I was for my parents. Each one of us is damaged in some way; but together we could perhaps feel complete. You and Rubén can give each other a comfort, support and understanding that I would never be capable of providing. I on the other hand can offer the two of you calm, strength and routine. I can pull you out of those prisons your minds can become at times. In return, you give me something I've never felt before in my life. You make me feel worthy and loved, like my life is making a difference, like I'm needed just the way I am without having to work my ass off for it."

Bobby and Esme's eyes met and a magical current hung in the air. Their hearts were laying open exposing all their hopes and fears for the future. Suddenly they united, mutually mending the wounds and scars of the past to finally beat as one, stronger than each on its own could ever be.

_Perhaps we can do some research on the topic, together?_ Esme's thought felt a little insecure; but full of possibilities.

The smile that spread over Bobby's face was one of the most beautiful sights Esme knew.

"You bet we can do that," he nuzzled her nose. "It's called poly-amorous relationship and I don't want you to worry or stress yourself. We will do this one step at a time. First, we have to see how Rubén is faring once he awakes. Then we'll go from there," Bobby kissed her forehead, her eyes, nose and lastly her lips.

"You know," he pulled her close against his chest. "When I saw you pounding away on the bag earlier," he hesitated not sure how to word his feelings. "There are so many similarities between you and Rubén I haven't been aware existed. Both of you have these relentless warrior personas that protect the vulnerable sides of you. What I mean is that I slowly realize that loving Muerte isn't that far from the rocker as I thought. Even if he has separated himself from Rubén, he's a facet of him just as T is a facet of you. I just have to learn to see him as Rubén's guardian as T is your guardian."

Bobby and Esme talked long into the night, cuddling and making plans for their future. Little did they know that at the same time NISE was about to draw a final line under the Rangemen's demise.

* * *

**St. Francis Hospital, Trenton, New Jersey**

It was two o'clock in the morning and the night nurse was silently making her round. The lights on the eighth floor were dimmed and she was the only person about besides the two men standing guard in front of one of the rooms. It was known that Rangeman sent guards whenever one of their employees was in the hospital and tonight was no exception. Due to the continued hits to his head Lester had suffered a grade III concussion and would have to stay for two days minimum. Without company medic, the hospital had been adamant about that and it wasn't like Ranger would spring him early this time.

The night nurse had just cleared his room after checking on him, when Ramon excused himself for a quick trip to the bathroom, leaving Junior alone in front of the room. The moment his colleague vanished around the corner Junior slipped into Lester's room. For a second he watched for any sign of movement in the bed; but everything stayed silent. Without making a sound he quickly walked over to Lester's bed. There was no time to lose now. Junior moved the sheet out of the way, swiftly searched for the right place between the biceps and triceps and smoothly injected the needle. For a moment he froze when Lester groaned and creased his forehead; but Les was too far gone to come fully awake. Seconds later, the GPS tracker was safely secured between the two built main muscles in Les' upper arm and Junior noiselessly slipped out of the room just moments before Ramon came back around the corner. Keeping his face blank Junior basked in self-satisfaction. Nobody would ever know that from now on Lester was a moving blip on the enemy's radar always telling them the whereabouts of the mission team.


	45. Chapter 45 - Time For Changes

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 45 – Time For Changes**

**St. Francis Hospital, Trenton, New Jersey, early the next morning**

"Hey man, how are you?" Tank didn't try to cover the concern he felt seeing Lester's battered body.

"You no longer have a twin, so that's good I guess," came a weak murmur from the man in the hospital bed. Les' face was swollen beyond recognition and his body felt like he'd been skydiving without a parachute, repeatedly. "Please tell me I did some damage, too," he slurred through swollen lips.

"Yeah, no worries there. Ranger fares the same as you, unfortunately without the concussion," the irritation in Tank's voice was barely contained.

Taking a couple deep breaths he reigned in his emotions and let his thoughts wander to the past. They had all founded Rangeman together – Ranger, Bobby, Lester, Rodríguez and he. Now Bobby and Rodríguez were gone, Lester would certainly follow soon and he, himself, wasn't sure about his future with Rangeman either. They all had been close friends at one time and now Tank had to realize that their friendship teetered on the brink of collapse.

"Listen Les, I'm worried about what's going on," Tank rubbed his pan-like hands over his shaved head. When he looked up, Lester could see the weariness and frustration deeply anchored in Tank's eyes. "Do you remember what made Ranger snap?"

"You bet. He blamed me for fucking Jeanne-Ellen back when they were an item. Fucker, I never touched her. I was just the messenger. He knows that. I even did a fucking polygraph test when he didn't believe me back then. I was his family; but Fucker wouldn't even believe the word of his cousin," Lester got more and more agitated making the little blips on the monitors around him jump with excitement. "And now he thinks I'm fucking T and … what … trying to plant her into Rangeman so she can take the company over? Does he think T will steel his clients and badmouth him like Jeanne-Ellen did? He's fucking insane!"

Tank looked alarmed at Lester's face getting redder and redder and the pearls of perspiration building at his hairline.

"Man, you need to calm down," he soothingly put his hands on Lester's shoulders and pressed him lightly into the mattress. In a matter of moments, a nurse rushed into the room her face firm.

"You shouldn't agitate..," she stopped mid-rant as her eyes widened taking in the massive black man before her.

She was friends with Detective Morelli and had heard about the thugs working for Rangeman; but standing before Tank intimidated her into speechlessness. Apprehensively, the young woman eyed him while checking Les' I/V and monitored data. In a timid voice and hushed tone she cautiously reminded the men of Les' fragile condition as his heart rate and pulse stabilized and his skin color returned to its normal warm caramel color. Once she had left the room again, Tank pulled a chair over to Lester's bed and took a deep breath.

"First of all, the stuff Ranger said was unacceptable and you choosing to take a leave of absence from Rangeman will have my full support."

Lester nodded, grimacing at his pain.

"Irrespective of that something's majorly wrong with Ranger."

Lester snorted. "Yeah, he bought a one-way ticket to lala-land."

"I agree," Tank answered calmly much to Lester's surprise. "The question is why? Les, man, I know you are pissed off; but try to be objective. Ranger's behavior has slowly changed over the past several months. He has become more and more irate. He's thinking of himself as unconquerable, not giving shit about his men. That's not him. He's always been a responsible leader, farsighted and deliberate. Now he's suddenly acting like some megalomaniac, like he's too big for his boots. We have to find out the cause for these behavioral changes."

"I don't have to find out anything," Lester spit out. "I don't give a flying fuck what's going on with my cousin. The stuff he said … it wasn't said in the heat of the battle. He meant it, every fucking word of it. After all those years, he finally showed what he thinks of me, namely that I'm a dumb whore just living off his gratitude. I see no reason why I should care about what's going on with him," Les finished bitterly.

"Lester," Tank started; but immediately got interrupted.

"No!" Les squeezed his eyes shut against the pain both in his body and heart. "No Tank, you won't get me to care. I don't give a shit about what's going on with that asshole. Look at me! He could have fucking killed me. Now you want me to excuse his actions cuz' you **THINK** something's wrong with him?"

Sighing Tank stood up, put his hand on Lester's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "It's OK man, I understand. Perhaps you should take some time off to heal. Why don't you take a trip out to Great Falls and visit Bobby and T? It will be good for you, Bro."

With a final squeeze Tank said his good-byes and silently left the room. He had to get back to Rangeman and start his investigations regarding Ranger or the company would soon be history.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

Esme and Bobby felt completely wiped out when they awoke after merely three hours of sleep. They had talked long into the night, made plans for their future and then sealed their decisions by making love in their very own way. The sweet memories that flared up in their minds let the happiest smiles spread over their faces. Bobby couldn't remember ever having felt this giddy with excitement. Sure, he had loved Rubén. He'd been the love of his life; but they never had this puppy-love teenage type relationship.

_Probably because with Rubén, Muerte somehow was involved and Muerte doesn't do giddy or puppy-love,_ Bobby philosophized in his mind.

Frowning he looked up and met Esme's twinkling eyes and they both started to laugh. Nope, Muerte was definitely not a touchy-feely kinda guy.

_Who knows,_ Esme smiled brightly. _He purred for me, perhaps I can make him feel giddy one day._

_That would be wonderful. The two of you share the same spunk. If there's one person who can pull off that stunt, it's you,_ Bobby nibbled at the tip of her nose._ I realize a little amorousness is a nice thing from time to time._

Their half hour long shower served its purpose of getting them clean; but was pleasurably wrapped up in some hot and steamy kissing and caressing. When they finally chased each other down the stairs to the kitchen, Bobby's deep carefree laughter could be heard throughout the mansion. The IAs who were assembled around the huge table looked at each other snorting and chuckling.

"Shit, Puppy, you going all girly on us today? What's with the playful, hand-holding, teenager mushy, gushy, lovesick puppy-love act," Rage mockingly raised one of his eyebrows and scanned Bobby and Esme up and down after they stumbled laughing into the kitchen. He, V and Marvey had come over for breakfast before leaving for the NGA.

"Nah man, not girly," V offered his two cents. "Angel just got him henpecked making him forget about his caveman heritage."

The two of them proceeded to give a detailed replay of the other night when Esme got all bossy on Bobby who desperately tried to save himself from sleeping on the couch. After they finished their little play, Button, CP, Agony and Rev had red faces from suppressing their laughter while Rage and V openly guffawed and bumped knuckles. Furor was the only one who was silently watching Esme, mesmerized by the glow she was sporting and wondering what had happened to put that much happy in her appearance.

The guys loved to pick on Bobby and he took it with a smile. With each passing day, he and Esme's brothers were growing closer together. He was certain that after today's breakfast they'd no longer be in doubt about his intentions with their little sister. Ever since Esme's attempted suicide, the IA's had morphed from a group of friends and brothers in arms to a close-knit family with a deep emotional bond. The custom of sharing most meals together began each morning, come what may, with breakfast. They would sit in the mansion's big eat-in kitchen, discuss the day, banter and ass around. It had been strange at first; but had become a routine none of them wanted to miss and one Bobby had begun to treasure. This morning was no exception as Esme's family plus Bobby, Button, CP and Marvey sat around the huge, food laden kitchen table. They breezed through the delicious multi-cultural fares Sean, their cook, had whipped up for them. Granted due to T's recent explosive spectacle, the absence of flatware had the group eating off paper plates and drinking out of Styrofoam cups; but the atmosphere was relaxed. The air was filled with the men's deep masculine voices, laughter and jokes, the brunt of them aimed in direction of the two love birds who had blissfully zoned out while feeding and kissing each other. A crumbled paper hitting their heads mid-kiss had both of them looking up with narrowed eyes and an "oh, no you didn't," look on their faces.

_What?_ Esme playfully glared at Rage. _We are busy here._

"No shit, Sherlock. With all those smoochies between each and every single bite, we'll be stuck here till lunch. May the rest of us mere unattached mortals stand up and leave the table, your highness?" Rage taunted her good-heartedly while Rev and Agony feigned feeling nauseous with the current events.

_No,_ was all Esme said.

The IAs looked at her puzzled.

Pressing a last sweet kiss on Bobby's soft lips and squeezing his hand, Esme slipped of his lap and stood next to him at the head of the table. Letting her eyes wander over the curious faces of her brothers and friends she couldn't help the radiant smile that took hostage of her.

_Alright, first of all I want to apologize for my one woman destruction crew last night. Obviously, I also need to thank you for being my cleaning minions. The kitchen is gleaming and I know for sure that I had no hand in that,_ Esme let her eyes wander around the room, lingering on the sliding door. The seventeen rounds of her Glock were well visible embedded into the glass, silent witnesses of just how volatile she had gotten the previous night.

_Guess we need some new glass, eh?_ Esme blushed slightly giving her hazelnut cheeks an enchanting glow.

Her brothers around the table chuckled.

"A new glass door, new plates, bowls, mugs, cups and saucers, a new microwave and coffee maker, oh, and don't forget a new set of killer knives for the butcher's block," the guys listed and grinned at her.

"Oh, and Sean," V piped up, "is shopping for a completely new kitchen. When I met him earlier he growled that he's fed up with you and your 'dubious' friends destroying his working place. By the gleam in his eyes, I'd say he's itching for a spending spree on your dime," he chuckled.

Esme rolled her eyes. It wasn't Sean's first new kitchen and it wouldn't be his last. Why she put up with his mood swings and bad temper was a mystery. Nope, no real mystery at all. She dealt with him because Grief had asked her for that in his last will and testament. Sean was a veteran, suffering from the trauma he sustained in Vietnam. The Torres' had given him work and a roof over his head when Sean was living on the street and barely functioning anymore. Grief wanted him to always have a home at Great Falls as long as he wanted it and so it would be.

_Guys, there are some things I have to tell you,_ Esme started anew, looking lovingly down at Bobby. _Yesterday was quite disturbing for me as you all witnessed. The thought of sending Marv back into danger made something in me snap. I can't stand the thought of losing one more loved one in my life. I know some situations in life are out of my hands like car crashes etc.; but keeping him safe was something I could control and you took that option away from me. That made me really angry – at you, at the world, at NISE; but most of all at myself for permitting it to happen._

Esme took some cleansing breaths battling the emotions surging up in her.

_A few months back something in me started to change. Rubén and I got close; you all thought I was falling in love with him and I guess you were right. However, before we had a chance to explore what was developing between us he broke down. Bobby found his way into my heart and now he's so deeply rooted in it that I can't imagine a single day without him,_ she squeezed Bobby's hand that she was still holding.

_I feel my priorities changing. Where before was a dreary gray, there is now sunshine and the most beautiful colors. It's like prior to now, I've been in some kind of cocoon. I'm slowly breaking free; confused, insecure and vulnerable; but with an immense thirst for life. I'm still getting adjusted to this new me; but what I can say for sure is that I can't go on as before anymore. I have a man who loves me with every fiber of his being and whom I love back with the same intensity, unconditionally and irrevocably. We both feel deeply for Rubén and once he's with us again we want to see whether he would let himself be loved by the two of us together. I don't want to constantly risk my life anymore, not knowing whether it would be Bobby and my last goodbye. I love the idea of him, and perhaps Rubén, waiting for me to come home and the distant prospect of perhaps building our own family together._

Esme took a deep shuttering breath and this time it was Bobby who squeezed her hand reassuringly. The movement wasn't lost on Furor who felt like his heart was short of bursting with happiness.

_Anyway, once the Rangemen are all back home safe and NISE is either brought down or sufficiently incapacitated, I will resign from the Inferna Angelus Syndicate. Since Grief's death I've just lived for the moment, accepting death as part of my life. I realize I don't want that anymore. I want to live and share my life with Bobby and you. I won't ask you to stop your commitment to the Inferna Angelus; but please know that besides being with Bobby and Rubén I want nothing more in this world than having you with me, safe and secure. You are my family and I can't lose anyone of you, it would break me._

She looked each of her speechless brothers deeply into their eyes and sent a wave of love, affection and commitment to them into their minds and souls.

_What's more I want to face those scars on my body and soul and learn to overcome what's behind them; the torture, the rapes, the mutilations to my body. As I said, building a family is a wish Bobby and I both share in the long run; but I need to battle my demons first – at least I should be able to have sex, _Esme blushed heartwarming._ I know you wanted me to do that all the time; but now with Bobby at my side and how he and Rubén have made me feel these last months, I finally feel brave enough to jump into that darkness. I just hope you will be there to pick me up and dust me off through the struggles ahead,_ she gulped down the fear deep inside her.

That was it. Esme was finished. She felt the tension in her body escape. At that same moment, Bobby suddenly appeared in front of her, cupped her face and gave her the sweetest kiss possible. If there had ever been a doubt about his devotion to her, this kiss proved the depth of his feelings over and over again.

Furor was the first to pull her out of Bobby's tender hold and into his arms, pressing her tight against his chest.

_So proud of you, Angel. Pain will burst with joy when we tell him your exciting plans. _He pulled back for a second to press a loving kiss on her brow before engulfing her in his bear hug again.

"You take good care of her," Furor looked sternly over Esme's head at Bobby. "We all have a close eye on you. So far what we are seeing is exactly what we always wanted for her; but we won't stop watching you."

"I know you won't and I know I'll be as good as dead should I ever fail her," Bobby answered seriously. "Believe me when I say I wouldn't want it any other way. She is my heart and soul, she has become the center of my universe. The day I should deliberately hurt her, I will dig out my own grave and hope you make me suffer. I'm really glad that she has you all watching out for her."

Esme still tightly pressed against him, Furor grabbed Bobby's neck with his free hand and shook him gently. It was a small gesture; but Bobby knew that it gave him Furor's blessing which meant more than anything else to him. The rest of the guys didn't hold back in the hugging department either; Rage, Agony and Rev not the least bit ashamed about the happy tears streaming down their faces.

Half an hour later Bobby had Esme back in his warm and loving embrace and finally felt thoroughly accepted by her family. None of them had said anything about stepping back from the action to be with Esme and him; but Bobby was sure the wheels were turning in their minds. He and Esme had long talked about it. Her wish for them to stay with her was out in the open; but however they might decide it wouldn't change a thing about her decisions as hard as it would be.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

"Will you tell me what's going on with you?" Tank sat on the couch in Ranger's office and looked at the angry features of his friend who was brooding over hell knew what.

"What the fuck do you mean? I'm fine," Ranger threw a hostile glance at Tank. "In contrast to everyone else in this building."

For several minutes Tank silently watched the stranger in front of him. "Carlos, you are my partner and my friend. You are not fine," he calmly replied after releasing a cautionary breath.

Ranger's head immediately snapped up, his eyes locked on the giant black man.

"Listen," he growled. "I have no time for your pansy-ass, whiny lamentations about us being partners and friends and shit. You actually think I give a flying fuck about the shit you're spewing? I'm Rangeman's CEO and therefore the executive of this squadron of pussies. If you can't deal with that feel free to speak up at the next partner meeting. Now get the fuck out of my office."

Tank looked at Ranger dumbfounded. This was definitely a new level of hostility. In all the years they had been friends and brothers, he'd never seen or heard Ranger react in such a frenzied manner.

"Do you actually realize what you're saying?" Tank asked quietly.

"I realize that I've let things slide over the past few years; but that is over now. It's time to get some regimentation back here, strict workouts, a functioning chain of command, military rigorousness, every sentence starting and ending with 'sir'! Just so you know – I'm glad you all are starting to disappear. Rodríguez is mentally disabled, Brown's an overemotional bisexual pussy who can't keep his shit together, Santos is a whore that can't keep his zipper up living off my money and you," Ranger leveled an icy glare at Tank. "You've become nothing but a permissive wimp running after The Cunt like some lovesick puppy bending at her every desire."

Tank looked at him and sadly shook his head. "You are seriously ill, man. I will find out what's going on and then I'll get you help, whether you want or not." Without another glance at Ranger, he silently left the room and went over to his own office to give thought to the situation.

Ranger was a controlling and domineering persona and the position as CEO of Rangeman suited him like a second skin. He was militant, a lone wolf, a perfectionist, savvy, obsessed with superiority, always demanding integrity, vigilance and discipline from his soldiers and that was exactly what their emerging company needed from its spearhead. Rodríguez had still been in active duty back when they founded Rangeman and although he exuded more power and control than Tank had ever seen in a person, he didn't strive for it. Unlike Ranger, Ruben's dominating personality came to him naturally. The moment Rodríguez was home, he managed to leave his Muerte identity behind morphing back into a bon vivant as laid back and fun loving as Lester. Bobby was a healer. Although lethal as the rest of them, he was too gentle at heart to consider the full-time, authoritative role of CEO. Lester was the opposite of a lone wolf, Tank chuckled at the thought. No, Lester was definitely not obsessed with anything other than being carefree and enjoying life. Tank rubbed his face and thought about himself. He didn't like to be in the spotlight; rather preferred the calm role as the backbone of the company. He was a behind the scene type of guy that kept the machinery, their offices, moving. No, Ranger's difficult, demanding personality had been just fine for the job at least until recently.

Sighing, Tank rolled his chair back just as there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," he gruffly called out.

The door was jostled open as both Woody and Silvio maneuvered two office boxes full to the brim with files and folders balanced atop dollies each holding six more boxes. They quickly divested the four boxes they carried on Tank's huge desk before Woody barely lifted his chin to Silvio and nodded toward the door, a silent gesture to leave him alone with Tank.

Tank raised a single eyebrow in face of the sixteen boxes filling up his office space.

"You want to explain this to me?"

"This," Woody flicked his head toward the paper mountain, "is the result of my and Silvio's several week-long scrutiny of DuPuits encrypted hard drives. We just brought these boxes to Ranger's office and he told us not to bother him with this shit. He would **perhaps** take a look at it once we are back from the mission. What the fuck, Tank. We are working our asses off to get the information and he dismisses us without even asking whether we found something."

Woody had his blank face firmly in place; but Tank could see his blood boiling under the façade. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes before shaking his head.

"Tell me the gist of it, Woody."

"It's unbelievable, Tank. For decades, NISE has been influencing the US Foreign and Security Policy. Deaths of politicians deemed accidents were no accidents, hundreds of cover-ups that would shock the American public and they even manipulated the economy to influence presidential elections. Remember the affair that brought President Jonson down? The intern was an operative of NISE. These fuckers positioned straw men in sensitive governmental areas and by that manipulated the bureaus or superiors."

Tank sat behind his desk and stared at Woody, stunned. "Fuck, it's all documented?"

"Every damn action they took in the past several decades. The only thing missing is information about the members of NISE. No word about that; but otherwise everything's in these files and folders."

Tank stared at the stapled boxes in front of him. Their content couldn't be ignored; but he had enough to do with keeping the Rangeman ship moving. It was time he took things in his own hands.

"Wanna make a trip to Great Falls, Woody?"

"Hells ya, man."

"We'll leave tomorrow around lunch time, depending on when I can spring Lester from Saint Francis. I want him to stay with Bobby until he's recuperated. We'll take him and the boxes and can talk to T about your findings."

"Hoo-ah, sir," Woody replied excited about the prospect of visiting the pint-sized tiger and her brothers.

"Woody, any idea or assumption what's going on with Ranger?"

Woody saw that Tank was serious about it so he took his time before he answered.

"Before this mission started, I would have said he was a loner, moody, hungry for power, control and success, never satisfied. Now it seems as though each of these traits are amplified. Plus, he seems to assume that a conspiracy against him is behind everything that happens," Woody hesitated for a moment. "It's like he's losing his mind."

Tank nodded and dismissed him. It was exactly what he felt, too; but what was the reason? Frowning, Tank got an idea.

"I want you to pull up all the feeds of Ranger working out in the gym from the past 12 weeks," he told Hector at the other end of the line before dialing the number of a long and dear friend he missed at his side.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

"Brown," Bobby answered his phone without looking at the display. He, Button and CP were shooting the shit out of some aliens on the PlayStation in the game room and filling the air with their shouting, grunts and cussing.

"Tank here. What's that ruckus in the background, am I interrupting something?"

Suddenly, Tank's phone was filled with cheers and whooping before Bobby came back on the line.

"Not anymore, man, just got killed. I tell ya, those IA medics have no sense of decency," Bobby said with fake dejection in his voice.

"Sounds like you're having fun."

"I am indeed. Can't remember the last time I felt this great. So what's going on? There a reason for your call?"

Even though Tank tried to make it short, he needed nearly half an hour to get Bobby up to speed. Once he was finished there was silence on the line.

"You still with me, Bobby?"

"Fuck yeah. I can't believe it. You are right, something medical must be going on with Ranger and drug abuse surely is an option. Before you come tomorrow, get his medical file from the safe at the infirmary."

"You're sure Les can stay with you?"

"Yes, Esme loves him. I don't have to ask her to know she will want him with us. Besides, there are five medics in the house. He'll be under the best care. The information Woody and Silvio got about NISE will definitely be worked through here."

"Ten-Four, you'll see us tomorrow," Tank ended the call.

Button and CP had both stopped playing and were watching Bobby with concern etched on their faces.

"What's going on?"

"Ranger's snapping," Bobby sighed. "He beat Lester to a bloody pulp. Tank and Woody are bringing him over tomorrow so we can take care of him. Plus, they're bringing sixteen boxes full of files and folders with information about NISE. Woody and Silvio decrypted DuPuits' hard drives. We need to find out what's going on with Ranger or the mission team is doomed. Tank suspects some drug abuse."


	46. Chapter 46 - Faithful Unto Death

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Warning: Right at the beginning Junior gets assassinated. Then about half way down the chapter, as the IAs scout out the meeting of DuPuits, Terror is forced to listen in to DuPuits' rape fantasies. Please be aware of this so you aren't taken by surprise._**

* * *

**Chapter 46 – Faithful Unto Death**

**7-Eleven, Trenton, New Jersey, 5 a.m. several days later**

Junior stepped out of the 7-Eleven and scanned the empty parking lot. Something felt off; but he couldn't pinpoint what had him on edge. Wary, he shifted the half full shopping bag into his left arm, took the Glock from the waistband of his cargoes and walked, on full alert, over to his Pick-Up. The hair on his neck bristled as though someone was watching him. Ever so slowly Junior turned around as a feeling of doom came over him. Far in the distance a shot could be heard. The frown on Junior's forehead barely registered as he was violently catapulted backwards against his truck. A second before alive and fully alert, Junior's body now crumbled lifeless to the ground, the complete back of his head splattered over the driver's door.

"Hit confirmed," the spotter next to the sniper said quietly and efficiently packed up his stuff.

Five hundred yards away from the 7-Eleven on the roof of a six floor building, two NISE operatives picked up the casing from the projectile and cleared the area of any evidence that they'd ever been there before making their way back down to the waiting car. They didn't care about the cashier that had come running screaming out of the grocery store or the sirens that could be heard in the distance. Nobody would ever be able to trace the kill back to them. DuPuits had picked two of his best and most reliable assassins to finish off the dispensable pawn before he could become a liability or complication for NISE.

* * *

**Great Falls, Virginia**

The two Rangeman Navigators turned onto the driveway leading to the mansion and slowly made their way along the meandering road. Now in summer with the ancient trees in full gorgeousness filtering the warm sunshine and bushes and flowers blooming everywhere filling the air with fragrances, the Torres Estate bore the grandeur of long gone southern times.

"You can call me a pussy; but coming here feels like we're driving back into another era," Scar murmured while taking everything in around him.

"Dude, let me stop you right there. Scarlet O'Hara ain't coming around the corner to greet you. The lady of the house would rather knock your sorry ass out on the mats than wear some pompous dress and make goo-goo eyes at you," Zip chuckled.

"Holy Shit," Scar blurted out as they rolled past the tree line and the beautiful nested mansion came into view with its trimmed grass and rosebushes lining its majesty. A single sprinkler sputtered in front of the house where Bobby and Lester were playing Frisbee with a dog in the refreshing water. When the trucks came to a stop, Bobby grabbed Emma's collar and they waited for the Rangemen to get out and steady before she could jump and great them. Scar, Woody, Cal and Ram were the first to be attacked, followed by Knock, Scotch, Zero and Zip. Lester started to tense up at the sight of Zero.

"Let it go, man," Bobby tried to appease him. "I'm sure there's a reason for him to be here instead of Tank."

"There better be or he will be at the receiving end of all my pent up anger," Lester growled.

Lester had been at Great Falls for nearly a week now and while he'd felt close to Esme before, this last week they had grown into 'besties'. Life was simply different around her and her brothers and he would stay here forever given the opportunity. He surely wasn't allowing Zero the chance to upset or hurt again. Fucker should have stayed back in Trenton.

Feeling Lester's hateful stare, Zero turned towards him and lifted both hands in mock surrender.

"Listen, Les. I know I'm on top of your shit-list. Tank got tied up and I begged for the chance to come here with the other guys. I want to personally apologize to T and try to make up for my behavior. I know now what an enormous mistake I made and I hope she will give me a second chance."

Bobby glanced at the man he considered his best friend; but Lester neither shifted his stance nor made any attempt to give Zero the benefit of the doubt. Sighing, he stepped forward to free Ram of Emma's slobbery love.

"Welcome everybody. T and the guys are in the kitchen, most of you know the way. They are preparing for tonight's stint so best go to them to get briefed." As the others walked over to the entrance, Bobby grabbed Zero's arm holding him back for a second. "Give Les some time, he'll come around."

"Wanna tell me what has your panties in such a bunch?" He turned toward Les once the Rangemen had vanished inside the house. There was no heat in his voice, just compassion for his struggling friend.

Lester stared down at the grass and ground his teeth. Bobby knew him too well and for far too long to not see the anger boiling in Les. Reaching out he wanted to give his shoulder a friendly bump; but Les jerked away.

"Don't touch me," he spit out before walking away towards the tree line and plopping down under a huge oak.

Confused, Bobby watched Emma trot after Les and lay down next to him. Immediately, Lester started to scratch her neck and ears seemingly lost in thought.

"What's wrong, man?" Bobby sat down next to Emma who by that time had turned onto her back and let Les rub her tummy. "You've done so well this week. Every day you've been feeling a bit better. Why suddenly this anger? Aren't you happy here?"

The rubbing stopped and Bobby saw Lester turning eyes full of sadness at the mansion.

"You don't get it, do you?" Les asked quietly looking back down at Emma. "This last week was one of the best of my life. I love it here and soon I have to leave. Do you know how that feels? It's like getting a taste of happiness just to be dumped back into your shitty life. 'Ah-ah Lester Santos, that's just something for good people, not for dumbasses like you.' Guess the arrival of the guys just brought that home to me," he sighed plucking some blades of grass and letting the wind carry them away.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" He finally turned to Bobby and looked him directly in the eyes. "Not because of the wealth that is residing here or because you got the most amazing woman in this world; but because you have a family now," Lester looked at his friend with swimming eyes. "You will never be alone again. When I go back home, not only do I have to deal with my partner and one of my best friends being gone; but my cousin is no longer family either."

Bobby was dumbfounded.

"Are you serious?" He looked at Lester's slumped figure. "Hey," he nudged Emma away and pulled himself over to Les bumping shoulders with him. "Do you really think Esme will let you just leave without a fight? Man, you know nothing. You are a part of this family just like I am. When you leave, she will make you vow to come back as soon as possible and when you haven't shown your ugly mug here within two weeks, she'll be sending me out to drag your sorry excuse of an ass back here."

Bobby scrutinized Les before quickly putting the arm around his neck and forcing his head down to head-butt him.

"Yo! Stop that shit," Les hollered.

"Say uncle and stop basking in self-pity."

"Hey, a little pity party may be allowed. After all, you got the girl," Lester shoulder-bumped Bobby back once he was free again.

"That's right. I got the girl; but **you** are her best friend. **You** are the one she will turn to whenever she feels like killing me and **you** will be the doting uncle our kids will turn to whenever we piss them off."

"True," suddenly Lester's lopsided smirk was back in full force. "Looking at it from that angle I'm in a far better position than you. I get the girl without all the drama," he chuckled causing Bobby to roll his eyes.

"That's right you wuss. Come on, let's get back and see what she and Furor have planned out for tonight," Bobby jumped up and brushed the grass of his cargoes.

"Why? We aren't gonna be part of it anyway," Lester made a face as he started towards the mansion. "You should have fought her harder on that point."

"Sure," Bobby snorted, grabbed Les' belt and yanked him backwards. "So you can play the comforting hero."

"Can't start practicing soon enough," Les grinned back at him. "I'm an opportunist after all."

* * *

**7- Eleven, Trenton, New Jersey**

Tank once more took in the crime scene in front of him as Junior's truck was finally being towed away. That would mean the TPD CSI team would also vanish sooner or later and at long last Manny and his team could investigate the scene. From the corner of his eye, Tank saw Morelli walking toward him. Morelli was a good cop; but at the end of the day he was just a cop and Tank wanted to get rid of the officials.

"Detective," he nodded toward the officer in front of him.

"You still have no idea who could be behind this kill?" Morelli scrutinized the giant black man. When he got no answer he continued. "The projectile looks as though it may have come from a sniper rifle. From what I can say so far it was a clean assassination. We are still in the dark on which building the shot originated. Most likely, the sniper was on the roof of one of those 4-6 floor buildings one street over; but so far my men haven't found any trace evidence."

"We'll take care of that," Tank interrupted Morelli.

"Is there anything I need to know?" The detective eyed him closely.

"What do you mean?"

"It's common knowledge that Rangeman has enemies and also collaborates with the government for special operations. Knowing you, you will most likely go after the killer of your employee. So, are we about to face some kind of war in Trenton? Because it would be nice for the TPD to be informed ahead of time," Morelli offered with a hint of sarcasm.

"We are as much in the dark about this as you are, Detective Morelli," Tank answered indifferent. "When we get a lead, you'll be the first to know."

Morelli nodded and left Rangeman's second in command standing alone once more.

"Manny," Tank spoke into his cell while searching the eyes of the man casually leaning at the wall of the 7-Eleven on the opposite side of the parking lot. "Any ideas so far?"

"I got a good look on Junior's head. Very small entry wound at the forehead while the whole backside of his head got blasted away, typical for Hollow Point ammunition. Steve from the CSI team let me take a look at the projectile and it's a Lapua. By the markings on it, I'd say the rifle used was a Bravo-51, Marine sniper rifle. Taking into consideration the angle the bullet stuck in the passenger's seat I bet they were about 500 yards away on the fifth or sixth floor or the roof of the buildings down the parallel street. From where I'm standing, I have a good view of the middle one with the gray bricks."

"That confirms what Morelli just told me. Once the TPD has left the scene you and your team are coming to action. I want the casing, I want to know where and why the shot was taken and naturally, it goes without saying, I want an ID on the shooter. Junior may have been an ass; but he was one of us. This is personal."

"Ten-Four," Manny replied and assessed how long the CSI team would need to clean up before he went over to Sanchez, Diego and Ramos to start planning their own investigation.

Six hours later Manny sat in Tank's office to go over the findings.

"I just got back from Steve's lab. The rifle was definitely a Bravo-51 and he was able to give me the exact angle of the shot," Manny stated. "Sanchez and I went back to the 7- Eleven parking lot and determined the gray brick building was indeed the origin. Diego and Ramos went over; but couldn't find the smallest trace. The roof was squeaky clean."

"Squeaky clean?" Tank raised an eyebrow at him.

"Exactly. Whoever the assassin was, left absolutely no trace. The only thing that gave away anyone was probably even up there was the fact that he cleaned a bit too thoroughly."

"Fuck! That means it wasn't related to any of our FTAs. I checked the records. None of those brought in by Junior has the necessary training to conduct such a masterpiece of work," Tank rubbed his head in frustration.

"That leaves his government work or we have to take into account that the shot wasn't related to him personally; but rather revenge aimed at Rangeman in general. What's Ranger's take on the situation?" Manny asked with a close eye on his vis-à-vis.

Tank visibly tensed at the mention of Ranger's name. Ranger's take on the situation was that he didn't care at all. On the contrary, he seemed glad to be rid of Junior. Hopefully the men he sent over to Great Falls would have a successful night because he needed them back here as soon as possible.

* * *

**Washington D.C.**

After lunch and a thorough briefing, the IA's plus Knock, Scotch, Zero, Zip, Scar, Woody, Cal and Ram drove to DC and fanned out. The Rangemen's transition back to talking in their minds had been easier than expected, even Zero didn't seem to struggle. Finally, tonight DuPuits would meet NISE's secret third party and T wanted the team to scout out the perimeter of the meeting as well as their assigned quadrants. They needed to know every side road, every rat run and every hideout.

At 1800 hours the bar was buzzing with after-work patrons kicking off after a hard workday. Terror was sitting in an Escalade on a side street and scanned the customers' thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she let her mind perform a one mile scan. She traced every single team member and was satisfied. Everybody was in position and on edge waiting for their targets to arrive. While DuPuits and his partner would be inside the bar, Knock would prep the unknown man's car with a tracker. He and Scotch would then follow him from the bar until he entered the next quadrant and the corresponding team would take over. T on the other hand would keep tabs on DuPuits to see where he would head after the meeting. Should the team lose the partner, having his car bugged guaranteed that she could still sniff him out later.

Suddenly T felt DuPuits enter the one mile radius.

_Target 1 is coming in from the east,_ she pushed to everybody.

_Roger that. I think I see him,_ Furor answered. He was positioned in an apartment opposite the bar with a wide range spotting scope. "Ok gentlemen, we have a contact. Target 1 is cruising in from the east on Rhode Island Avenue. Black Mercedes SLK," he spoke into his throat mic.

"Roger that. I see him," Scotch answered immediately; likewise fitted with a spotting scope.

They watched DuPuits entering the bar and Terror heard him ordering a mineral water before scoping out a table away from the crowd. After he'd sat down, T felt him lusting after some busty blonds, imagining how he would fuck them hard and rough, rape them. Terror felt her breathing constrict while perspiration built on her forehead. She'd been on the receiving end of men like him. That was in another life, one long gone; but not soon forgotten. The memories of this time flashed through her mind as though it happened yesterday.

The thought of violent rapes gave DuPuits a hard on and T had to feel him touching himself under the tabletop while he envisioned how he would brutally slam his cock into the women, basking in their screams of pain. Slightly panting, he imagined how they would start to bleed from the violence he was inflicting on them and it just turned him on further. He thought about how he would force them to suck him; grab their hair with both hands until they scream and force them to deep-throat him till they choke. Finally, he would bend them over and slam into their assholes, tearing them, before he'd shoot his load deep into their intestines. Terror opened the door of the Escalade, bent over and threw up into the street. Instantly Rev was at her side, holding her braided pigtails out of her face and supporting her body.

After violently dry-heaving for a few moments, T was finally able to sit back just as Agony came to a stop behind them.

"What's wrong?" He gently caressed T's face, brushing some lose hair behind her ears before giving her a small bottle of water.

Terror shook her head. _I'm fine, really! I just had a flashback because DuPuits is a sicko with rape fantasies and he took me on a ride with him._

Five minutes later T suddenly shot out of her seat. _Guys, we have a problem. Fogger is here._

In her mind she felt her brothers plus Button and CP freeze in disbelief from their respective positions. Fogger was the Inferna Angelus Syndicate's manager, a legend within the Marines for his ability to stay undetected and to sense any kind of surveillance. What the fuck was he doing here?

_Furor, inform the Rangemen. I need to concentrate on Fogger,_ came T's clip command.

"Men, the IA's CEO is in our vicinity. He's master in sensing any kind of surveillance. Knock, Scotch, become invisible. Everybody, no radio transmissions. Do your best to stay undetected, remember your past city trainings with T. Low profile until further notice."

Immediately, T felt Scotch and Knock retreating for better cover. Minutes later Fogger turned out of a small side street onto the Rhode Island Avenue and drove by them.

_He's scanning the area. Fuck. What is he doing here?_ T followed him in her mind. _He's circling the block. Attention Furor, he's coming back._

That procedure recurred three times before Fogger finally turned into the bar's parking lot and got out.

"Does he need to have a meeting here of all places? Should our targets recognize him, they will relocate," Furor growled.

"Then we will relocate, too," came Ram's firm voice over the intercom. "It may be some weeks since we last worked together; but we kept training hard. We can quickly adapt to any new situation."

_He's right, Furor. I've spent enough time with them before, during and after their training to have absolute faith in their abilities._

T concentrated back onto the bar. Fogger had entered and was making his way through the crowd, looking for someone. When his eyes focused on DuPuits, T felt as though the world stopped moving. Everything came to a halt and froze. In her mind she felt everybody bristle. DuPuits saw Fogger approaching and rose from his chair. The two men shook hands and smiled at each other like old friends as they took their seats and immediately jumped into conversation.

"I read your encrypted email. You could scare the blackmailer off?" Fogger referred to the IAs scheme when T had Snake calling around trying to blackmail NISE regarding their involvement in the drug business. Another thing that seemed like eternities ago.

"Yes, he wasn't willing to meet with me so Jones talked to him on the phone. He subtly increased the pressure and the caller broke and backed off. The call came from a phone booth here in DC. We checked surveillance tapes of surrounding business; but got no clear shot."

Fogger nodded pensively. He didn't like that. He didn't like it at all. How could this person have gotten information about the drug and their connection with it. Did he know anything about NISE?

"What about the CIA agent that was sent down to make an offer to Escobar?"

"It's been handled. Escobar was warned and the offer was ignored. Albeit we had to eliminate two policemen who asked too many questions about the locals vanishing. They had an accident. The public authority and DEA are still in the dark."

"Good. This is getting way too hot. We need to tie up the loose ends and take care that nobody survives who could link us to the drugs and killings."

"Our man in Colombia talked to Escobar. Apparently, the researchers are more or less finished. We need to sweat it out for three more months."

Fogger nodded.

"There's a problem regarding the IA team," DuPuits said apprehensively. Fogger was a powerful man. He preferred to be on his good side.

"What do you mean?"

"I sent two assassins after the woman and both fucked up the job. At the first attempt, she wore a Kevlar vest, fell thirty yards from a roof and miraculously survived. They brought her to Princeton. He started a second try at the hospital but there were guards 24/7. Evidently, he couldn't get a clear shot through the window of her room. I took care that he'll never fuck up again. The second man was reported dead to me two weeks after I lost contact to him. He was found in an office building in an abandoned part of Trenton. There were no signs of a fight or anything. His death was deemed of natural cause."

Another nod from the Inferna Angelus' CEO. "We need to get her out of the way, DuPuits. She's training the Rangeman operators. The longer she continues that, the better they get. She needs to be removed from the equation. Now."

"I think the problem solved itself," DuPuits hurried to explain. "The drug cocktail Ranger has unknowingly been ingesting has proved effective. My inside source reports him to be irritable, irate and more and more off the rocker. Ranger kicked the IAs out of the mission team. They've been back at Great Falls for nearly three weeks now leaving Rangeman the sole conductor of the mission."

"Are you sure of that DuPuits?" Fogger let his icy eyes bore into the man in front of him. "Ranger and his men are no threat to us, especially with him under the influence of amphetamines and steroids; but the woman is dangerous. She is the uncrowned master of espionage, reconnaissance and tracking. We can't risk her having any part at all in the assignment. She has to be eliminated," Fogger stared at him.

"Well, she's with the IA so she's your decision. You know her better than anybody else," DuPuits shrugged. He didn't like Fogger and wanted to be done with the meeting. The CEO of the Inferna Angelus had always looked down at him, treated him like a tool. _He knows shit,_ DuPuits thought. _I am the one in control. Neeson and I should get rid of him._

"Exactly. She's one of mine and I say she has to die. With her out of the picture, the rest of her team will be helpless," Fogger looked at DuPuits and left no doubt that he expected DuPuits to obey his orders.

"I bought someone on the inside of Rangeman. He confirmed that the IA's left and are no longer our concern. He was also the one reporting about Ranger becoming more and more of a megalomaniac."

"Who is that source?"

"His name was Junior. He unfortunately got killed this morning, not traceable, after he became dispensable."

Fogger nodded deep in thoughts.

"Nevertheless, I want the woman to have taken her last breaths. It was a fault to ever allow her to become a part of the Inferna Angelus. Contract Carlos Sánchez. Even she shouldn't stand a chance against him."

"How much?" DuPuits asked.

"Ten million now, ten after a successful assassination. Should he fuck up, I will hold you personally responsible DuPuits. Is anything else going on I need to know about?" Fogger asked impassive.

"No," DuPuits replied quickly. "Jones has his hand on the DEA here in Washington. When they come too close for comfort, he directs them the opposite way. Our man with the DEA in Colombia is keeping a close eye on their activities and interferes where necessary. Moore is sitting in on the meetings with the FBI and Terrell is feeding Rangeman wrong information and SAT images. We have every corner covered."

"Good. Keep it that way. I will check where the IAs are at the moment and will take care that the woman will be out in the open so Sánchez can make his move. She's gained way too much influence. Things will be a lot easier with her six feet under."

The Inferna Angelus' were frozen. One of their own was a traitor. One they had voted as their leader. One to whom they had sworn loyalty. One they had trusted blindly. One with whom they had shared their inner thoughts. One of their own had just ordered T's immediate death.

Fogger had long left the bar and now DuPuits made his way to the parking lot. In his mind he comforted himself that Fogger didn't know anything about what he was capable of handling. He, DuPuits, was pulling the strings and still had several wildcards in his hand. T couldn't listen to him anymore. One by one she disconnected her mind first from the Rangemen then also from her team. She was shell-shocked. Fogger had played an essential role in her adoption by Grief. He had always been a confidant for her. He had even been her supporter when she wanted to become the first woman in the Inferna Angelus Syndicate.

_Furor, tell the Rangemen that we abort. They stay overnight and are not allowed to talk to anyone outside the mansion, debriefing tomorrow after breakfast. I'll pick up Fogger's trail. You, V, Button and CP go back to Great Falls; brief Bobby and Les on our findings. Agony, Rev, Rage, I want you with me; full gear._

_You should have a medic with you in case something happens,_ Furor sounded worried.

_We'll be fine. Now move._ The dominance he felt in her thoughts and the shiver running through his body made Furor clear that she meant business.

T heard him talking over the com system while she breathed against the pain in her chest. She had trusted Fogger. He'd been a close friend of Grief; he had an important hand in her being allowed to the Inferna Angelus, in some way he'd been her mentor. Now Fogger wanted her killed and it didn't matter to him at all. T closed her eyes. 'Never trust anyone,' Linho had always told her. 'Trust gets you killed.' How right he had been.

* * *

**Great Falls, three a.m. the same night**

Bobby jumped up and rushed to the main door as soon as he heard the keys in the lock. Without thinking he crushed Esme into his chest and started to whisper words of comfort into her ear while firmly rubbing her back. He had lost count how many times his heart had stopped and restarted tonight while listening for the slightest noise of her return.

Furor had come in behind him from the kitchen followed by Lester, the rest of the IAs plus all the Rangemen. Questioningly he looked at Rage, Agony and Rev. The shadows in his friends' eyes were all the confirmation he needed. Their leader was dead. He had broken the No. 1 rule of the Inferna Angelus – the vow that every new warrior sealed with his blood.

Fidelis usque ad mortem – Faithful unto death.


	47. Chapter 47 - Time To Get Serious

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 47 – Time To Get Serious**

**Great Falls, Virginia, early the next morning**

Lost in reverie, Esme blankly gazed out the massive living room window. It had been surprisingly cold last night and now with the sun creeping over the horizon, dew was glistening on the grass, flowers and bushes. Last night's events had been shattering and Esme's heart was heavy with emotions. She yearned for Grief to come around the corner, take her in his strong arms and tell her that everything was going to be fine and that he'd always protect his little butterfly. A single tear worked its way down her cheek. She missed him so much; but on some days the pain was nearly unbearable.

A hundred yards away, the Potomac was unhurriedly preparing for another day of carrying tourists in canoes on its back. Sometimes, when yet another kayak dumped its occupants into the churning waters of the downstream rapids, Esme wondered whether the river deliberately turned them over. The thought of a bucking river made her smile as she wiped away the lonesome tear balancing on the edge of her jaw, ready to fall. As overwhelming as this country was in about nearly everything, the people simply didn't know how to live in harmony with their environment. A light draft on her neck made Esme aware that she was no longer alone and she turned around to her curious audience.

"Please, take a seat," she signed to Sean, Toby, Timothy and Brian; all looking a little grumpy after being called out of bed fifteen minutes ago.

Theoretically, the men were her employees and she surely paid them generously; but Esme looked at them as extended family. She, a girl who grew up at the lowest end of the food chain and had survived a childhood on the streets in total poverty, couldn't put herself above another human being. She could command them, yes; but she couldn't look down on them. Just as she was about to start signing again, Bobby popped his head through the door to the living room.

_Sorry Baby, can you give me a moment? I need to clear some things with the guys here before we leave._

_Sure, no problem._ As quickly as he'd emerged, Bobby pulled his head back and closed the door behind him. Esme would love to have him at her side for this talk, to feel the comforting warmth of his body; but she knew he would freak in the face of what she was about to say. She couldn't do that to him; he's been through so much already. No, she was alone in this.

"Sean, Toby, Tim, Brian," Esme addressed each of the men in front of her, "first of all thank you for coming here at this early hour. The reason I called you is to discuss my immediate departure and some stuff that must be addressed in this regard," she looked at them to emphasize how important this was.

"Normally," she continued, "the guys and I make no secret of our work; but this time things are different and it's important that you listen to each of my words. In case someone should call or otherwise try to gather information, you have absolutely **no** knowledge about any assignment. Officially, I'll be with Bobby at Cedar Creek to visit Rubén and I plan to stay there for a while and the guys will pop in and out on vacation. The reason I let you know about all that being a pretense is that there's a certain chance that I won't come back from this mission. More precisely, the chance of my coming back is rather small."

The eyes of the four men in front of her widened and Toby grabbed Sean's arm for support. He was a soft and emotional man and Esme knew how hard this would be on him.

"I have all my affairs settled; my last will and testament is up-to-date. Without going into detail, I want you to know that your futures are secure and you'll continue residing here on the Torres grounds as you are currently for as long as you wish. In case of my demise the control over the Estate goes to Bobby; I wish and hope that you'll serve him as loyally as you served me. He'll have a hard time dealing with my death and will need any and every support he can get. I count on you to help him. My concern right now is your immediate safety. As said I will be at Cedar Creek for quite a while; feel free to tell this to anybody who asks. Should something feel weird to you, no matter how small, call the police. When in doubt, leave the premises. The guys and I are up against a powerful foe. Don't try to guard or rescue anything. Nothing's of as much worth for me as your lives. Be safe. The codes to the safe in the basement and the vaults at the Bank I'll give to a friend with Rangeman security in Trenton. Should something happen, call Tank at Rangeman and report to him. He will help you with everything you need. Any questions?" Esme looked around.

The men sat shell-shocked on the couch and armchairs and stared at her. Shockingly it was Sean, the one who she had the least relation to, that angrily jumped up and was right in her face.

"Well, I hope you have a nice trip and that your spoiled mug will show up here again," he growled, turned on his heel and furiously rushed out of the room.

"He likes you, you know? And he worries about you," Toby looked crestfallen. "He has just a strange way of showing it."

"I know, Toby. Now, everybody out. I want to have some quiet me-time before the men and I leave," she ordered the rest of them out of the living room.

Once she was alone again Esme turned back to her earlier position and let her eyes sweep over the garden in front of her. With the early morning sun now caressing everything with her first warm rays, the sight was breathtaking. Esme opened the sliding door and inhaled the fragrances swirling around her. She tried to memorize every flower, bush and each of the ancient trees. This was the place she called home. She would give her last breath to come back; but right now she struggled to believe in a happy ending. NISE was overpowering. Whom could she trust anymore? Her brothers? Yes, unconditionally. Lester? Yes, and Ram. The rest of the Rangemen? No. Who knew how much more of them DuPuits bought. Closing the door, Esme shut her eyes, leaned her forehead against the cool glass and send a prayer toward heaven. She didn't want to die; not now as she finally found happiness. Eventually, she turned around and started to wander through the house. She wanted to memorize each and every room, their distinct smells, the pictures and paintings on the walls, the little mementos of her and the guys that had accumulated over the years. Esme was saying good-bye to her home and knew it was the worst way possible to mentally start an assignment; but for the moment she couldn't help the darkness in her mind.

Half an hour later five black trucks were chasing Bobby and Esme, who had taken lead in a silver Porsche Panamera, northeastward toward Trenton. From the distance they looked like a black high-speed snake with silver head; dangerous, almost lethal.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

With the Rangemen Navigators in lead the convoy turned onto Haywood and shortly after drove down the ramp of Rangeman's underground garage. Many of the office trucks were gone so the IAs and Bobby had no problem finding spaces for the three Escalades and the Panamera.

_Let the games begin,_ Esme thought with a forced smile toward Bobby before he could see her T persona appear; dominant, observant and in control.

Something was wrong, majorly wrong. The whole drive Esme hadn't exchanged a single thought with him, the spark in her eyes was gone and she seemed vacant. Bobby knew that last night's findings had been a shock; but this emptiness in her was scaring him.

A quick scan had shown T that Ranger was not in the office and Tank was on his way down to them. The men at the monitors were tense about their arrival; but for the most part glad. The news of them being here was spreading like a wildfire over the floors and T was following several guys dashing to the monitors to check for themselves. Though he wasn't in the building, she could taste the venomous flavor of Ranger's mind. His destructive energy and maliciousness was everywhere. She could kill NISE for what they were doing to him. She and Ranger might have their discrepancies; but he was a good man and now he could be happy when he'd come out of this without permanent damage.

_Tank,_ she greeted the huge black man as soon as he stepped of the elevator.

_Good to have you here, T. Things are starting to get out of control,_ Tank hugged her small frame.

_What happened?_ T looked at him all business.

_Ranger gets more and more out of control. Junior got assassinated. The mood of the men is at an all-time low. We are about to reach our limit._

_Let's get up to your office, Tank. We need to talk. Now. I want Lester and Ram with us._ T turned and signed to Furor to follow them. _Rage, you are in command of the rest of the team. Keep an eye out for Ranger._

The moment she started to move she felt Bobby automatically following them. Turning around to him, T took a deep breath.

_I'm sorry; but I have to do this alone. Can you stay with Rage, please? _She tried her best to exude nothing but affection; but her thoughts had a bite to them she couldn't hide from him.

_Baby, what's going on? Something is wrong - I feel it,_ he wondered with eyes full of concern and thoughts that had a fearful taste to them.

_Nothing, really. I just don't want you to get involved in this. The less you know the better. Please, Bobby, just stay with Rage,_ T got impatient. She knew it was unfair to him; but she couldn't help herself. She felt like lashing out at someone and she didn't want it to be him.

Hearing his full name from her lips hurt and made Bobby feel like he'd been slapped. She was lying to him and it made him angry; really angry. They had sworn openness and loyalty to each other and now she was hiding something from him.

In Tank's office on the fourth floor T and Furor brought Tank, Ram and Lester up on a par with them.

"So, just to be sure I've got it right," Tank rubbed his head, "You've identified two of the three leaders of NISE plus six of the seven men that form NISE's second tier."

"Correct," Furor answered in T's place.

"DuPuits is the central head of NISE; Fogger, the manager of the Inferna Angelus Syndicate is his partner," Tank continued.

This time Furor and T just nodded silently. The fact that Fogger was involved pained them beyond what they could explain.

"Then we already knew about Jones with the DEA, Moore with the FBI and Terrell with the NGA. In addition, you verified straw men with the Central Security Service, the Defense Intelligence Agency as well as with the National Clandestine Service."

_That's correct,_ T replied. _They all provide DuPuits with sensitive Intelligence Material and information about moves made by the Armed Forces Intelligence Community. It's the perfect scheme. At any given point, DuPuits has a wider knowledge than any of the bureaus and branches themselves. He knows more than any one person in the government, including the President. All of his information is first hand, unfiltered and directly from each agency. He knows all the W – Who? What? Where? Why? Wherefore? and can pull strings accordingly. I'd say in some ways he's the most powerful man in the United States. We didn't get far with the files you gave us; but there's proof that NISE has not just influenced promotions within the bureaus of the different branches; but also presidential elections themselves._

Silence descended over the room while the Rangemen tried to digest what they'd heard.

"The moment DuPuits or Fogger realize that you know the truth, they will mobilize every source they have to find and kill you," Tank said with a gravelly voice. "There won't be a place on earth where you'll be safe. No matter where, they will find you and send in their best to eliminate you."

"Fogger is no longer our concern," Furor replied with a blank face.

Tank scrutinized him. The IA's second in command was a pool of calm and strength. He was soft spoken, gentle when it was called for; but there was a depth to him Tank wasn't sure he wanted to explore. It was the same with every other member of the team. They were all laid back, funny, easy to have around; but each one of them hid a darkness under their friendly surface that was unsettling. Suddenly Tank remembered Pain's words that first day they'd been in Trenton – their names mirrored an aspect of their being: Pain, Terror, Furor, Rage, Vengeance, Agony, Revenge. What type of lives did they live? What kind horrors did they face to earn names which reflected such hefty distinctions? Tank had watched them a couple times training with his men at the compound. Compared to the IA's intensity the Rangemen appeared to be toy soldiers. Sighing, he forced his mind back to the reality in his office.

"Can we eliminate DuPuits to reduce the risk to you?" Tank asked the two IAs in front of him.

He wasn't one who killed easily. On the contrary, in his opinion, taking a life should always be the last option; but this woman and her team were willing to risk their lives to help Rangeman with this potentially catastrophic assignment and the conspiracy surrounding it. He wouldn't hesitate to assist in any way he could.

_No. We still have no clue about the third partner. Eliminating DuPuits means we chance the possibility that someone as influential and hungry for power would be ready to slither into the abandoned top spot. With killing DuPuits, we wouldn't accomplish anything aside from the murder of a high-ranking government official resulting in potentially disastrous consequences. Fogger was one thing; just another civilian homicide. DuPuits' death must remain our last option._

"OK, so what's your plan?"

_We are putting NISE on ice until the mission is accomplished. Then, we'll sift through the boxes of evidence we have and go from there. We need to determine the identity of the third partner and assemble airtight proof of the other members of NISE. Once we have all the information gathered, we present our findings to the President without being intercepted by third parties. After that, we'll just have to survive._

T's eyes lost focus as she thought of Bobby and their evolving love. A week ago they had made plans for their future; loving Rubén, building a family, doing their own thing. Bobby was thinking about studying psychology, specializing in PTSD and all its possible consequences. She loved the idea; he'd make a wonderful therapist. He was so warm, so gentle and he exuded a calm and strength that automatically made you relax in his presence. Searching for his mind, she found him bantering with Rage and the others in the control room; but his thoughts revolved around her and what was going on in the meeting. How should she tell him that their happiness might be over before it really began? Or should she not tell him anything at all? He was doing fine as long as there was no stress or tension; but his nerves were still thin as parchment. Taking a shuddering breath she felt a single tear slide down her cheek. The thought of saying good-bye to him knowing it could be their last; but leaving him in the dark – she couldn't do that to him. He had a right to know that it could be the last time they kissed. A hand on her leg jerked T out of her pondering.

_Angel?_ Furor looked at her, his eyes as full of pain as her own.

_It'll be OK,_ she placed her hand over his and squeezed. _It's our destiny._

_Alright,_ T looked over at Tank, Ram and Lester, _next topic. Tank, you can stop investigating Junior's death. NISE is responsible for his murder. DuPuits bought Junior's loyalty at one point securing who knows what information from him. In any case, Junior reported about the IAs leaving Rangeman and about Ranger's deteriorating mental health._

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Rangeman's second in command thundered causing the glass to rattle. "First Ice, now Junior. How is that possible? How can men that we handpicked out of all applicants, men we trained and worked with 24/7, men we trusted with our life, how can they deceive us like that?"

T didn't know how to reply. She saw the hurt and incredulousness in Tank's eyes and sensed his pain in her heart. It was a fraction of how she and her brothers' felt about Fogger's betrayal.

_There's more,_ she continued, not giving the big man in front of her time to dwell on his thoughts. _Regarding Ranger, your speculation about steroid abuse was just a short hop from the truth. For months on end Ranger has been systematically drugged with a cocktail of amphetamines and steroids. Most probably since before we came to Trenton the first time. How NISE was able to pull this off is a miracle to me. The security of this building is unparalleled. As sad as that makes me for you, there must be someone on the inside who supplies the drug to him. Seeing how drastically his behavior changed, how aggressive he's become and also taking into account how the flavor of his thoughts have changed for me, I'd say he needs medical help, ASAP. He'll be lucky to avoid any permanent damage to his organs when this is all said and done._

Without warning, Tank's fist hit the wall with such violence that the stucco flew in flecks all around him. He was forced to send his men on a mission that was sabotaged by the most powerful conspiracy he'd ever known. NISE had men in every leading Intelligence branch; their power so far reaching it boggled the mind. They had the power and money to turn trusted Rangeman employees against the company without anyone ever noticing and then dispensing of them when their services were no longer necessary. They even managed to infiltrate Rangeman to unknowingly drug Ranger, their impeccable always alerted leader, with a potent cocktail that most probably would leave him impaired. There was no doubt in Tank's mind, NISE would isolate and eliminate his men down in Colombia without even a chance to counterattack.

In a sign of defeat Tank sagged into his chair, put his head on his desk and clasped his hands behind his neck.

T watched as a man she thought of as a pillar of strength and brawn crumble before her eyes.

_Provided that certain conditions are met, my team and I are willing to escort your men down to Colombia and do everything within our power to get them back alive._

After several minutes, Tank finally lifted his head and scrutinized the small woman in front of him. Though she was aware of the lethal consequences, she offered the services and lives of herself and her men to assist Rangeman on this sure-death mission.

"Why? You owe us nothing." He needed to know because he couldn't grasp why she'd do it.

_For Bobby, for his friends, for Les, _T smiled over to her bestie. _For Ram, can't have him not continuing to polish his weapons, _she smirked at her favorite weapons freak. _For Rubén, cuz NISE is responsible for his condition, for all those people that don't know they are being hurt, for my Dad, Grief, cuz it would make him proud and for myself to prove that I'm more than what Fogger and NISE think of me. I won't let them hurt anymore of mine and I won't let them continue their scheme. They pissed of the wrong woman._

"What are these "conditions" you mentioned?"

_First of all, Ranger has to be stopped and brought to a hospital. He's a danger to himself and to his men, not to mention this fucked-up mission. _The tone of T's thoughts made clear that this wasn't a point she would discuss.

_Secondly,_ she continued,_ the mission team gets reduced to Les, Ram, Cal, Vince, Woody, Scar, Zero, Knock and Scotch with Les and Ram taking over command of them. As explanation, you can say it's the lack of trust considering the latest realizations. Thirdly, __**nobody outside this room**__ is aware the IAs are back in the game. Not even the team members. I want to do a last loyalty check when my team meets up with them." _T stared at Tank to emphasize her resolution.

_Fourthly, the revised team leaves for a mountain training at Camp Merrill, Georgia. Once our preparations are finished, my team and I will secretly meet up with them and we'll leave directly for Columbia; transportation's on us. Fifthly, I have free reign to do whatever necessary should I detect another traitor in our midst._ T locked eyes with Tank making him understand that she won't hesitate to kill should the need arise.

Tank took a deep breath and stared at her for a few long minutes; but T never backed down.

"What's your game plan?" He finally asked with an emotionless voice.

_My plans are none of your concern, Tank. The less anybody knows, the greater our chance to survive. Agree to these conditions and I take over command of the mission, your men have my team at their side and the likelihood of them returning increases. Should you not agree, your men are on their own and we leave with no hard feelings._

"Fuck, T!" Tank cussed. "You can't expect me to allow my men go out there with me not knowing the details and therefore having no contingencies."

_Tank, you send your men go out there alone, they are as good as dead no matter what back-up plans you have. We are their only hope for survival. My men and I discussed the situation and unanimously agreed to sacrifice our lives to get your boys back in one piece. Take this gift or leave it; there'll be no further discussion on the matter. Oh, and don't think for one second that we'd go anywhere without some wild cards tucked away. We want our own asses out of that fucking jungle alive._

At that moment Furor's cell rang.

"Yo. Understood." He put the phone back on his belt and looked at T. "Ranger just got in, saw our trucks and is on his way up here."

"Where the fuck is she?" They could hear Ranger bellowing outside in the hall.

_Tank, let me deal with him. He hates me anyway. Your friendship is strained enough and he will need you while detoxing,_ T pushed to Rangeman's second in command.

Meanwhile, Ranger got right into Rage's face. "You'll immediately leave this building. I don't want to see any of you assholes on my fucking property."

"You need to calm down, man," Rage answered without batting an eye. "I'm just following orders."

Rage had a few inch on Ranger and didn't doubt he could withstand his power; but he didn't want to start a fight, not even to defend himself.

"I said leave!" Ranger snarled ferociously.

"No. Calm down, Ranger. I have orders that I won't disobey and I don't want to fight with you," Rage straightened up to his full 6'4" and tensed his hard body. His voice was still calm; but took on a warning quality.

Ranger fisted Rage's shirt near the collar and vigorously yanked him forward causing the man to stumble before he could gain his balance back. There were barely a few inches between the faces of the two men as Rage leveled an icy glare at Ranger.

"Let, the fuck, go," he growl warningly.

"What? Too pussy to stand up to me?" Ranger's voice sounded high-pitched and taunting. "I'll tell you one more time: Take your little whore and get back to your bordello at Great Falls."

_Ranger, leave my men alone. Now._

At the sound of T in his head, Ranger jerked around roughly releasing Rage from his grasp. Filled with hatred, he stared at the 5'3" woman on the opposite side of the hall. She had her hands at her hips and met his stare with one equally as venomous. Behind her he could see Furor and Tank. The realization that Tank, his own right hand man, was betraying him, caused something in Ranger to snap. From one second to the other there was a swooshing in his ears and everything aside from Terror vanished from his vision. She was responsible, she was about to take everything from him, she needed to be brought down.

_Nobody interferes,_ T commanded. She had read every one of his thoughts and knew it was about to become ugly. _This fight is mine._

"You goddamned fucking whore," Ranger screamed insanely and attacked.

None of the surrounding men expected to witness the events of the next few minutes. T was a black-belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the chess of the martial arts world developed on the streets of Brazil. It's based more on intelligence, agility and technique than size and brute strength. Growing up on the perilous streets of a farvela, fighting meant down and dirty on the ground battles. Linho wanted her safe and cultivating her skills in BJJ was the way to achieve that goal. T's brothers and their friends from the streets took up training her when and wherever they found a worthwhile spot until she mastered their lessons. When she showed an interest to train further, Linho somehow managed to enroll her in classes. T knew from experience, she needed to force her attacker to the ground in order to have a chance of survival.

At the last possible moment, T moved to the side and grabbed the arm of Ranger's dress shirt as he flew past her. By his enormous momentum, she was catapulted onto his back. Before he could even comprehend what happened, she had her legs crossed in front of his upper body and her arms wrapped around his neck in a choke-hold. With a loud noise they crashed into the wall and Ranger threw himself around to smash her backward again. T stretched her legs increasing the vice on his ribcage while simultaneously enhancing the pressure of her arms around his neck. The sound coming from Ranger's squashed throat was inhuman. Stepping forward, he wanted to smash her into the wall again; but she quickly disengaged her lock on him and scooted away before he could cause any damage.

"I'll kill you!" Ranger roared, jumping toward her without any planning.

T dodged him easily. Her agility and speed were unmatched. Even after years of training together, her brothers couldn't hold a candle to her finesse. She was a tigress on the prowl and Ranger being her prey needed to be brought down. The ground was her battlefield where she would pounce, incapacitating Ranger and knocking him out. As he came flying towards her again, she grabbed the front of his shirt, jumped up to put both feet at his groin and as she felt herself falling backward to the ground she brought leverage to bear on his body and made him soar over her. She would consider this a thrill had the situation not been so serious. Never losing her grasp on Ranger, T engaged the momentum of his body again pulling her with him and landed square on his chest knocking the air out of him. In the blink of an eye, she lay flat on his upper body, her legs wrapped around his entwining them as she locked her feet around his shins. With her arms encircled around the back of Ranger's neck, he was neither able to wriggled from beneath her nor could he roll her off of his struggling body. T clung to his front like a spider monkey and the way she pressed his face into her upper body made it almost impossible for Ranger to breathe.

Frustrated, he ferociously clawed at the back of her shirt and cargoes; but no matter how hard he pulled or how deep his fingers dug into her flesh, T was glued to him. On any other day, her strength and resilience would have impressed him; but today it added fuel to his fire. Violently flopping them over and over, Ranger tried to disengage from her lock. T felt as though she was atop a bucking rodeo bull jockeying for control of the rampant beast. She could feel how Ranger started to tire; but the constant smashing to the floor with his weight on top of her was arduous on her body. This escapade needed to end, quickly.

The next time he squashed her back into the floor, T loosened the grip on his neck and locked her legs around his waist instead. Ranger took the bait and instantly pushed his upper body up, forcibly pressing his right hand down on her chest. It felt as though the last wisp of air left her body. Stretching her legs and pressing them together like a vise, T once more squished his ribcage. As she had anticipated, Ranger came up with his left leg and tried to force his left hand between his body and T's legs to get some air. She had him exactly where she wanted him. The moment he pushed his arm between her legs, she gripped his wrist, uncrossed her feet, twisted counter-clockwise on her back while at the same time pulling his left arm out from beneath him. The pressure of Ranger's right hand on her thorax bearing all his weight started to suffocate T. She pushed her right leg flat on the back of his neck and at the same time pulled the hand that was still on her chest in front of his throat. With both hands incapacitated, Ranger was without any balance and crumbled onto her like a wet sack. Fast as lightning, T laced her right foot under her bent left knee to secure the hold on his neck, placed both hands on the back of his head and adamantly pulled it down while pushing her hips up.

Ranger had no chance against the force on his windpipe. He desperately tried to rear up; but with T's full weight hanging onto his neck and the increasing compression on his windpipe, he never gained enough momentum to really move. Slowly the resistance in his arms and legs grew less forceful and T felt his strength ebb. His face was pressed into her abdomen and she wished he would stop fighting her so she could let him go; but Ranger wasn't one to submit so she kept the pressure on his neck and waited. Thirty seconds later, his mind tumbling rapidly into nothingness, Ranger's body went limp in the chokehold of her arms and legs. T felt like a bulldozer had run over her. Loosening her arms and uncrossing her legs, she let Ranger's unconscious body slump onto her. His face was closer to her promise land than Bobby had ever been; but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. She felt wiped out. The fight perhaps lasted four or five minutes; but zapped every ounce of strength from her tiny body.

Lifting her arms over her head, she felt her chest pumping in vain at the attempt to fill her lungs with enough oxygen. Black dots started to dance in front of her eyes. Suddenly the weight on top of her was gone and Bobby's face appeared behind the dancing dots. He was talking with her; but the blood rushing through her ears was too noisy. Trying to get onto her feet, T rolled over on her side and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees; but her body wasn't ready for that and tumbled over.

"It's OK, Baby," she finally heard Bobby as though his mind was at the other end of a long tunnel. "Give your body a moment to recuperate." His hand started to caress her face. Oh how she loved when he touched her that way. At least he didn't seem upset with her.

_Oh, I am upset with you, Esmeralda; but we will talk about that when you feel better and we are alone, _he thought smiling down on her with love in his eyes.

Great, apparently she couldn't keep her thoughts to herself. Closing her eyes she thought, _Restrain Ranger. I can't go a second round with him._

_Ram and Cal are already on it. Together with Button and CP they will bring him to his sister Mariah in Princeton. Tank's talking to her on the phone right now._

_Good,_ T thought, her body becoming heavier by the minute. _Help me up or I'll fall asleep on you._

Bobby chuckled as he slowly helped T back onto her feet. Swaying, she stood there for a minute, holding on to him, while her circulation restarted. As the black dots slowly vanished she became aware of the Rangemen staring at her. Those of the mission team stood proudly in awe unable to contain their smiles. The BEA guys, on the other hand, appeared unsettled with mouths agape looking back and forth between T and Ranger. The only one known with the ability to knock Ranger out was Tank; but even still he had accomplished that feat only a hand full of times. Seeing their boss defeated by this little bit of a woman was difficult to comprehend. No matter how hostile Ranger had been lately he was their role model, the standard they strove to achieve, the man that brought regime and guidance to them. Seeing him so swiftly brought down left some of them confused and vulnerable.

* * *

_**A/N: For those of you who aren't familiar with Brazilien Jiu Jitsu and want to see how it looks what T's dishing out go to you tube and insert:  
**_

**_2009 Brazilian Jiu Jitsu World Championships - Mundial_**

**_Watch the video from Budovideosdotcom. The position described when Ranger flops them around is called The Mount and can be seen in the video at 4:34 minutes. The technique that brings Ranger finally down is called Triangle Choke From The Guard._**


	48. Chapter 48 - Last Preparations

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: A Cheerioh and special thanks to my awesome beta suzq515 and in addition to RubyBabe and her hubby for her help with the Limerick! :)_**

* * *

**Chapter 48 – Last Preparations**

**Blue Ridge Wildlife Management Area, north of Camp Merrill, Georgia, 4 a.m.**

The Army Rangers flitted noiseless through the underbrush, masterfully surrounding their target. In the east the horizon blossomed in hues of blues and pinks. The goal was to swiftly attack as to not compromise their advantage. Ahead of them was a small clearing where the enemy still slept, unaware of their approach. Systematically acquiring eye-contact through the night vision devices mounted on their helmets, the stealthy men signaled to each other the last orders before silently breaking through the shrubbery and entering the clearing. The moment each of them had reached their position and steadied his assault rifle centimeters from the sleeping backs on the ground, a joint 'HOOAH!' echoed through the once slumbering Rangeman camp; but nothing happened.

Confused, the Rangers poked the empty sleeping bags. Just as they lowered their weapons, a cacophony of Army, Navy and Marine battle cries could be heard from the surrounding trees behind them. With riffles pointed straight at the Rangers, Les, Ram, Cal, Vince, Woody, Scar, Zero, Knock and Scotch emerged from between the trees. The Rangemen had effectively cut through the path of their pursuers as they advanced closing ranks behind them. The defeated Rangers had to lay down their weapons in face of the eight Rangemen having them in their cross-hairs. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Les swaggered toward the Rangers' Commanding Officer and with a sing songy voice taunted him and his men.

Georgia forest foggy, foggy  
Army Rangers cocky, cocky  
ended in whirls  
lost like some girls  
finished up all soggy, soggy

"Oh Brady, Brady, Brady," Lester pitifully shook his head at the CO standing there in full gear and war paint. "You are getting old man. How can a bunch of mercenaries get the better of you?" Lester smirking circled his former brother in arms who watched him with a scowl. "Wait, I know, because WE ARE THE FUCKING BEST!" Les whooped in unison with the rest of the Rangemen.

* * *

**Fairfield Inn, Georgetown, Kentucky**

Since Stamping Ground had no available accommodations and Bobby had started his therapy at Cedar Creek five days ago, he and Esme had been staying a few miles south in Georgetown, yet another small, bluegrass Kentucky town. Each day they visited with Rubén talking to him, holding his hands and taking him outside into the sunshine and fresh air. He was still in a catatonic state; but slowly started to react to his surroundings and followed very simple commands like moving his head left and right or squeezing a ball placed in his hand. It had been a peaceful five days, relaxing, refreshing and filled with love and laughter.

Silently, Esme entered their hotel suite after her morning workout in the gym and tiptoed into the bedroom. For some treasured moments, she watched Bobby's peaceful features as he slept before sneaking into the bathroom to shower. Standing under the soft patter of warm water, a tidal wave of guilt crushed over her. She needed to talk to him about her feelings regarding the upcoming mission, the changes to her last will and testament and her wishes regarding Rubén.

In the back of her mind, Esme knew she was withholding those pressing issues she had to discuss with Bobby; but she wanted to enjoy his love just a little longer. Any day now Furor would report them ready to go and they'd pick her up to leave for Georgia to meet with the Rangemen. She needed to have the conversation with Bobby. Today!

Half an hour later, clad in some comfy yoga pants and one of Bobby's shirts, Esme sat at the small desk in their suite, one knee pulled up to her chin and worked through the emails she got over night. In the bedroom she felt Bobby waking up and smiled as he silently opened the door and tried to sneak up on her.

_Good morning Baby,_ she thought as his arms snaked around her chest and he leaned down for a hug.

Leaning her head back against the neck of the chair, she marveled at the warm tingle just the contact of his lips evoked. Bobby was a thorough kisser, always making sure her heart stuttered and hitched when he moved his mouth over her body kissing, nipping, licking and sucking.

_How did you sleep?_ Esme asked once he switched to nuzzling her neck and scraping his teeth along its side.

_Like a baby. These drugs are really doing a number on me,_ he referred to the anti-depressants and sedatives the doctors at Cedar Creek prescribed to stabilize his mood.

_Mmmmmmmmh, _Bobby moaned full of pleasure as he suckled the tender flesh at the nape of her neck leaving a mark. _I could really do with some Esme loving, _he continued laving along her collar bone as far as the neck of her shirt permitted.

_I would love nothing more than to indulge in some Bobby loving,_ Esme chuckled noiselessly, _but there are some things we need to talk about and I fear you'll be really pissed at me afterward._

Bobby froze mid-kiss and Esme could feel his protective walls assembling around him.

"You're leaving," he uttered in a monotonous voice.

_No, not yet; but there are some other things that need to be addressed,_ Esme straightened up, turned and searched his eyes. He struggled not to let his blank face appear. Taking both his hands she pulled Bobby with her back to the bedroom.

_Let's snuggle while we talk,_ she thought before she crawled after him onto the bed, finding the perfect spot on his chest where it was so easy to fall asleep. Immediately, Bobby began to rub her back as it was his routine; but Esme could feel the tension in him rising with every passing second.

_I'm not sure how to start so I'll jump in head first. I have a bad feeling about Colombia. I can't distinguish why or what part exactly is irking me; but since that night,_ Esme stopped, still pained by the memory of discovering that Fogger was one of the three heads of NISE. _Anyway, with Fogger being a part of NISE this whole treason gains a new dimension. I know, well knew, Fogger's capabilities, Bobby. Imagine the worst and increase that tenfold. He's ruthless and relying solely on DuPuits is not his style. I can assure you, aside from what DuPuits is organizing, Fogger's own pawns are prepared and in position to checkmate us. I was always convinced there was a special place in his heart for me; but he callously ordered my death. I have no doubt when we arrive in Columbia, we'll be facing Fogger's wrath. He sure as hell took care that whoever goes down has no chance for survival, no matter what DuPuits is planning._

Esme took a deep breath and firmly rubbed Bobby's chest.

_As much as I will try, I don't expect to survive this assignment._

"NO!" Bobby jerked out from under her and jumped out of the bed.

_Bobby…_, Esme tried to calm him.

"NO!" Bobby shouted and darted out of the room, forcefully slamming the door shut behind him.

Giving him a few minutes to get his bearings, Esme finally wandered after him into the living room. Bobby leaned against one of the window frames and unseeingly watched the street in front of the hotel. He neither turned nor otherwise acknowledged her presence. The fear and anger radiating from him was palpable in the room. It pained Esme to see him like this; but she needed to finish, there was no way around it.

_I changed my last will and testament,_ she continued in her mind as softly as she could. _In case of my demise, you'll be the heir of the Torres Estate. There was no time to get the exact value; but it hovers around 320 million dollars distributed between bonds, papers, stocks and a multitude of foundations, charities and aid organizations._

Esme felt Bobby's heart trip and stutter for some beats before he slowly turned toward her.

"I don't want your millions," he hissed icily.

_Don't say that,_ Esme stepped toward him and cupped his right cheek, rubbing her thumb over his stubble. _I'm not doing that to reimburse you as a compensation for my death. I love you Bobby and I know that you will honor my will. You have a wonderful heart and you will continue the charity work that is so important to me. Torres Mansion is the only home I ever had. It means the world to me. I want to know it's in the hands of someone who will treasure it the way I do, as a place of family, love and hope. When Grief brought me here and adopted me, I had to learn what it meant to have even a few dollars in my hand let alone millions. He taught me to respect the money for the good it can do, for the change I can bring into the world with its help. I know you will continue this line of thinking and use the money to help and support those who are socially disadvantaged. That's all I'm asking from you, please continue my work and keep Torres Mansion as the wonderful place it has become._

Wordlessly, Bobby turned back to the window. Esme knew it was to hide the tears that started to fall. Seeing Bobby like this tore at her heart. This was what the guys meant when they told her that it would hurt. Damn, the pain was worse than any injury she'd ever sustained during a mission. Giving Bobby a minute, she finally snaked her arms around his waist holding him tight and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades before snuggling herself against the warm firm body in front of her. For what felt like an eternity nothing happened; but finally Bobby put his hands over her arms and started to rub them.

_There's something else,_ she continued. _I want you to contact Rubén's parents and tell them that their son is alive. I know you don't want that because you want to respect Rubén's wish; but should I not return and the two of you can't rekindle your past relationship, I want somebody to take care of him._

Esme felt Bobby tense and take a breath as though he readied himself to say something.

_Don't Bobby,_ she quickly interrupted him. _Don't say that you are capable of caring for him yourself. I know you are more than able; but I don't want you to feel bound to do it should Muerte still be there mucking up the works. My love, you and Rubén in a loving and committed relationship is my greatest wish. I hope you'll both consider living at Great Falls and making it your home; but if things don't turn out that way I want you to be free to go your own way, live your own life. Please, Bobby, contact them. He's their son and they loved him so much as he loved them. They have a right to know and imagine how wonderful the reconnection may be for Rubén when he returns to the loving arms of his family._

Esme held tight to him as though he was her lifeline. They both realized this was a first of many private goodbyes to come in the next few days. After what seemed like an hour, Bobby slowly turned in Esme's embrace and pressed her to his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back.

"You promised me a lifetime of happiness at your side," he whispered into her hair, his hold on her desperate. "We talked about building a family, having children, conquering the world together," he took a shuddering breath. "You **will not** bail out on me now."

Bobby pushed away from her, grabbed her shoulder and roughly shoved her into the wall next to the window.

"You promised!" His heart-wrenching sniff accompanied the distorted pain, anger and desperation visible on his face.

Tears poured from his eyes, "You promised to spend the rest of your life with me! You will protect your ass during this godforsaken mission and rejoin me right here when it's over; otherwise it will destroy me, Esme. Do you hear me? Seriously, you're already planning to die? Better listen up then, Baby. Go ask somebody else to take care of your estate cuz they'll have to put me into a padded room and tube feed me for the next twenty years or so before maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to take care of myself again," Bobby sobbed uncontrollably.

_Oh Baby,_ Esme ran her thumbs gently across his damp cheeks wiping away some of his tears before putting her arms around his neck, pulling herself up and encircling his waist with her legs. Clinging to his front like a spider monkey she let him bury his head into the nape of her neck and maneuver them blindly back to the bedroom.

* * *

**Mountain region north of Sardinata, Colombia**

Rage and V noiselessly skulked through the dense underbrush about thirty yards parallel to Escobar's henchmen. They had spotted the men about an hour ago and so far had been able to follow them undetected. Three women and a man were being pulled, like dogs, by thin cords cutting into the flesh around their necks behind Escobar's men. The four hostages' clothes were dirty and torn, their feet bare and their hands tied up in front of them. Every few feet one of them would stumble and fall causing the men to pull on the cords and take pleasure in kicking their victim mercilessly. It was obvious that the helpless individuals were barely grasping onto their last bits of strength. Twenty minutes later the group arrived at a rocky scarp about thousand yards above the valley of its sloping face. Just as V was considering how incredibly breathtaking this spot would be for paragliding, without warning or hesitation one of Escobar's men severed the cord from around the neck and wrists of one of the hostages and pushed the woman over the edge of the cliff. Eerie silence befell upon the horrific scene as the other hostages unseeingly looked ahead to their impending doom. Everything suddenly became crystal clear to V, the remaining man and two women were blind and possibly deaf and mute. They were test subjects of Escobar's drug.

In one swift movement, V readied his assault rifle and stood. Instantly, he felt a hand clamp down on his mouth and a strong arm snake around his midriff holding him back. Rage muscled V down onto the ground, lay on top of him and gave him a warning glare. Their jostle had produced some traitorous noise and both IAs silently harkened for approaching footsteps. When nothing happened, Rage cautiously sat up and scanned their surroundings just to see the last hostage being kicked over the edge. Without any sign of emotions, the henchmen turned away from the precipice and made their way back, passing Rage and V who were crouched down in the brush.

"Listen man, we can't interfere," Rage signed to V to eliminate the chance of any further noise on their part. "Had I let you kill them, they'd have been missed and Escobar would've been warned that something's in the works."

V took some deep breaths and gulped against the anger constricting his throat. He knew Rage was right; but he was pissed nonetheless. He had sworn to rescue people, not to passively watch them being killed. Too many innocents had died before his eyes or in his arms, each of them haunting his nightmares.

Rage put his hand around V's neck and shook it softly as a sign of empathy. He knew all about his brother's past in the service and how the scene they just witnessed probably conjured up memories so deep within that V would have rather they remained dormant.

"Let's follow them to see whether they lead us to Escobar. After, I think we should go back to Cúcuta and contact the boss to come down here so we can wipe that filth from the face of the world," Rage signed getting a firm nod from V pared with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. He knew whenever V met up with the men they were following again, a torturous death would soon follow.

* * *

**Cedar Creek Behavioral Health Center, Stamping Ground, Kentucky**

"Love you Baby," Bobby kissed Esme softly before stepping off the elevator. He had appointments for a session with his psychotherapist followed by two hours of occupational therapy before he could meet up with Esme for a late lunch. Afterward, they'd pack up Rubén in a special wheelchair and spend some quiet time outside in the sunshine at the creek or under one of the huge ancient cedar trees that were the inspiration for the name of this institute.

"Esme," one of Rubén's nurses called across the floor the moment Esme pushed through the door to the intensive care unit.

As though by chance, Esme looked up and smiled at the approaching woman. That's exactly why she preferred to be alone or with her direct family. With them, she didn't have to pretend not to know what's going on around her. Here at the hospital she constantly had to act unaware and that was putting a strain on her.

"Hey hon," the nurse continued babbling. "Rubén will be so happy to see you. He's in a good mood today, the PT was very satisfied. I just checked on him and his eyes followed me through the room watching my every move. It's such a joy; he's our hero of the day. Oh, and I put the radio softly on so he'd have some distraction. Keep an eye out, in case he becomes agitated, you can turn it off."

Esme smiled, put her outstretched right hand to her mouth and moved it downward to chest-level. A sign everybody knew by now meant 'Thank you'.

As she approached Rubén's door at the end of the floor, she saw Cookie standing guard and couldn't help the grin spreading over her face. The defensive stance he immediately jumped into didn't help him at all as she started smoothly dancing around him, her fists in front of her face, dishing out mock punch after punch. Naturally, he could spar with her and hold his own; but Cookie had just as much fun with this little routine as Esme. It always ended with him crumbling to the floor after a lethal hit against his chin and Esme doing a victory dance around him.

_Hey there,_ Esme slipped through the door into Rubén's room and waited until he slowly turned his head and leveled his eyes at her.

Every one of his moves was in slow-motion; the time the information needed to travel through the fog in his brain and then from his brain to his limbs caused about a one minute delay. Esme slowly walked to his bed and leaned over him, giving him time to prepare for the touch and kiss he was about to receive.

_How are you today?_ She tenderly stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers.

After a minute, his wary eyes softened and she knew he had recognized her.

_You've got the nurses and PT all in a state; I swear they are all swooning over you,_ she smiled as she took his hand and leaned over to press a soft kiss on his brow.

She and Bobby had decided to stick to kisses on his cheeks and forehead, since Rubén had no chance of telling them whether anything else would make him uncomfortable.

Just as she was about to start her routine of massaging his hand and arm as the PT had shown her, Esme felt a whisper soft squeeze on her hand. So far Rubén had never acted on his own accord; his biggest accomplishment was reacting to the simple commands given to him. Shocked, she looked up and saw a single tear running down his otherwise unmoving face. Their eyes locked, Esme gently wiped the wetness away while holding their attached hands to her chest.

_You did that, right? That wasn't my imagination or wishful thinking. You really squeezed my hand,_ she blinked her own tears back. Esme internally jumped up and down at the thought of what this kind of break-through would mean for Rubén.

The delayed answer was another feathery squeeze. Not thinking about a slow approach, Esme hurled herself onto Rubén's chest and held him tightly.

_You are coming back to us, you are finally coming back to us,_ she beamed into his shirt.

As she was about to straighten up, she felt another squeeze. Finding his eyes, Esme tried to see what Rubén wanted; but the fog in his mind was still too impenetrable for her to read his thoughts. Perhaps there were no thoughts at all she conceded; but his look seemed almost pleading. Then, for a fleeting second, a flash so quickly she wasn't sure it had been there at all, Esme felt a feeling in her mind of her laying in his arms.

_Do you want me to snuggle up to you?_ She wondered.

The light squeeze a minute later was all the incentive she needed. Kicking her boots off, she crawled up to him in his bed and moved his arm around her waist as though he was holding her. When Esme felt his head move and she looked up just to see Rubén watching her with soft eyes, she didn't give a damn about the agreement with Bobby. Pulling herself up she pressed the softest of all kisses on his lips and could have sworn the fingers laying on her waist curled up to confirm that was exactly what he wanted.

* * *

**University Medical Center of Princeton, New Jersey, detox unit**

Tank left all his weapons with the Rangemen standing guard outside the locked detox unit. He felt naked without them; but in this case Rangeman respected the hospital policy since many of the patients in this unit were suicidal. He would never risk any of them getting their hands at one of his Glocks or knives. The hall was bright and painted in cheerful colors, green plants were standing everywhere, patients were moving around some of them greeting him; but all-in-all the atmosphere was melancholy. The people residing here had reached the end of their individual ropes and Tank could see it in their somber, empty eyes.

When he opened the door to Ranger's room, Tank witnessed his once vibrant and fierce business partner and friend lying haggard and ashen in his bed. The detoxification from the prolonged steroid and amphetamine abuse was causing Ranger to descend deeper and deeper into a depressive state and the doctors were expecting the known withdrawal symptoms such as psychotic episodes, severe depression and anxiety disorder to worsen as his treatment progressed.

Manny and his team had finally found the drug cocktail in Ranger's apartment, concealed as his vitamin supplement. They were packed in an absolutely identical container as the supplement Rangeman provided each of its employees. An unmarked box with still sealed containers stood on the floor of his closet, all containing the amphetamine/steroid-mix.

Lab work showed that the cocktail was a specifically engineered and highly potent mixture that had already caused subsequent damage in various parts of Ranger's body. The doctors found arrhythmia, high blood pressure, elevated blood lipids, hepatic damage and a slight kidney dysfunction. Ranger's body was broken and at this point a full recovery was questionable. Tank knew because of his friend's vitality and drive that Ranger would persevere and beat the odds; but first he had to overcome the hurdles of depression and psychotic episodes.

"Hey man," Tank pulled a chair over to Ranger's bed.

Ranger never looked at him nor otherwise acknowledged his presence.

"I wanted to check how you are faring and give you your company's daily report," he said a little stiffly.

Talking has never been his specialty; but talking with someone who just lies there without ever reacting to your words was a challenge.

"I put those changes I told you about yesterday in action. Beginning tomorrow Binkie is heading the Security Department with Hector leading the installation teams and Zip will manage the Bond Enforcement Department. I also talked to Vinnie. We'll reduce skip apprehension to solely high bond FTAs until further notice. The remaining Law Enforcement guys will support the BE Department. Our contacts at the different branches were informed that until further notice Rangeman won't conduct any missions with them. All these adjustments should keep the Trenton office running, for now anyway. Diego in Miami, Nelson in Atlanta and Rooster in Boston are aware that they have to absorb the losses Trenton is making. So all-in-all things are looking positive."

Tank was at a loss what else to say.

"Perhaps," he continued a little awkward, "it will help you to know that the men all have your back. I mean, of course the last few months have put a strain on their trust and many issues have to be discussed in the weeks ahead; but they are all still loyal to Rangeman. They've sworn not to abandon us just because things might get tight for a while. We have some fine men, Carlos."

Watching his friend's unmoving face, Tank finally pulled the volume with Ranger's preferred poetry from the bedside table. Leafing through the pages, he found where he'd left off the day before and started to recite the verses Ranger loved so much until it would be time to leave.

* * *

**Cedar Creek Behavioral Health Center, Stamping Ground, Kentucky**

"Bobby, he squeezed my hand," Esme signed for the umpteenth time, bouncing on her seat, her hands going a mile per minute. "On his own accord. He even smiled a little. It was so beautiful. He's really coming back to us. Imagine, soon he'll be a 'Chatty Cathy' and we can bounce around and talk about the future and do stuff."

Bobby laughed, scraped the last remains of the stew out of the bowl in front of him and spoon-fed them to Esme. The day that had such a demoralizing start just took an amazing turn for the better.

"You're sure he really squeezed it. You didn't just imagine that?" He signed back to Esme just to taunt her because he enjoyed seeing her so bubbly and full of zeal. She was so full of life and joy that sparks could fly from her eyes and set everything ablaze. This was the frame of mind he wanted her in before she left for Colombia.

They sat together at a small table in the cafeteria. Esme's legs were over Bobby's lap as they ate lunch together. Strictly speaking, Bobby had lunch and since Esme couldn't stop talking, he'd started to feed her the stew and then continued with the dessert. He was very well aware of all the people watching them sitting there so intimately, catching up in American Sign Language; but he didn't care. Right now, Bobby felt relaxed and content.

When he saw his therapist that morning, they talked about what had happened at the hotel and his reaction when Esme revealed she didn't expect to survive the mission. Bobby was furious and felt used and betrayed. The therapist explained how the incident triggered feelings of estrangement and abandonment from his past which he'd buried deep in his subconscious. First, there were his parents. Although he did his best to appease them, their constant disapproval and resentfulness were forever evident. Then friendships and relationships throughout his life that set him up and left him hanging. Finally, he found happiness with Rubén only to be abandoned, again. Naturally, Rubén wasn't to blame for his capture and subsequent torture during a mission; but in Bobby's mind it felt just like every other betrayal.

When Rubén returned, Bobby fought for their relationship and for a short while everything seemed to be fine; but once again Rubén left him. Then at the beginning of this year, the two of them began rebuilding their relationship. By some divine intervention, Esme turned up in their lives, completing them; but sadly Rubén fell into this stupor. Bobby felt alienated once more and as though everyone was out to purposefully hurt him. At that point, everything had become too much and he broke down running off to Alaska. While there decompressing, he fell in love with Esme. She gave him a happiness he hadn't felt since his first time with Rubén. Now she told him she was leaving him, too. At least, due to his therapy session, Bobby understood why he reacted the way he had and this break-through in Rubén's health status was surely the best thing that could happen today.

"Come on," he rubbed Esme's legs once she had finished her dessert. "Let's get our silent sunshine and move him out into the fresh air. We can grab a blanket from the Panamera and find us a nice place down by the river."

Bobby felt antsy and wanted to see for himself what he'd heard from Esme; but far away in a corner of his mind he worried that Rubén wouldn't show the same reaction to him. Bobby had abandoned him in the hour of his greatest need. What if Rubén wouldn't want him anymore?

* * *

**Blue Ridge Wildlife Management Area, north of Camp Merrill, Georgia, 6 p.m.**

"What do you think? When will T come and pick us up?" Ram asked.

He and Lester were standing at a vantage point overlooking the valley and mountains across from them.

"She said they'd need about a week," Lester replied. "That was five days ago, so I guess we still have at least a couple more days to go."

"The men are all in their respective top form. They won't be getting any better."

"Yuppers, and we're gonna keep them in tip-top shape," Lester turned flashing Ram an evil, toothy grin.

Shaking his head, Ram replied, "You're messed up, man," as he spotted Brady and his bunch of Rangers on the opposite mountain.

"Tonight's exercise will go a long way in identifying their level of readiness. We'll catch any glimpses of possible weaknesses, analyze 'em and work on 'em before T gets here," Les responded slapping Ram on the back.

"Hoo-Rah," Ram bumped fists with Les and they turned to find their way back to Camp Rangeman.

Once there, they called everyone together and explained their plan for the night.

"Attention," Ram called the men to order. "We up sticks to leave in three hours. Our aim is to pick up the trail of the Rangers and find their camp. Their CO Brady divided his men; half of them playing hostages, the other half guarding them. Brady got input to advise the hostages to be deathly frightened, impaired and in shock. The guards will be … well, Rangers, so you know the stakes. Our objective is to stay undetected as long as possible, then an aggressive assault, rescue of the hostages and lastly, destruction of the camp. Lay down and take a nap for the next two hours, then we'll pack up and leave."

* * *

_**A/N: A heartfelt thank you to those who are still loyally reading this story - ya da best. Lately there haven't been reviews anymore and I have to admit that troubles me. The story has gotten quite complex and is a lot of work to write. A review here and there would go a long way in keeping my spirits up to finish this story. Thanks again for reading and (hopefully) reviewing.  
**_


	49. Chapter 49 - Leaving For Colombia

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 49 – Leaving For Colombia**

**Cedar Creek Behavioral Health Center, Stamping Ground, Kentucky**

_Don't Baby, please,_ Esme softly shook her head and wiped the tears away that started to slide down Rubén's cheeks.

She had just told him about her leaving and now his eyes were wide and stricken with fear. Bobby was sitting at Rubén's bedside and held one of his hands while Esme had climbed up onto his bed and held the other one in her lap. She waited for Rubén to calm down; but the tears streamed heavier and heavier.

_Baby,_ she gently leaned her brow against his, closed her eyes and fondled his face. _Please, don't cry. That makes leaving so much harder for me,_ she gave him a soft peck before straightening up again.

The last three days Rubén's catatonic status hadn't progressed further; but with the limited abilities he had, he'd shown Bobby and her clearly that he wanted both of them close and enjoyed their tender caresses and kisses. Bobby was in heaven and for Esme it had been the push she needed to get back her will to fight. Then this morning, Furor called and told her they'd be on their way to pick her up.

"Believe me, Amigo," Bobby now spoke up while rubbing his thumb over the back of Rubén's hand. "I carved it into her mind and heart that she has to come back to us so we can start our someday. She has all the incentives she needs and will fight like a tigress. You know there's no one better than her," Bobby sounded upbeat and cocksure and hoped Rubén's mind was still too foggy to realize that it was just an act.

Slowly the tears became less and less forceful and finally ran dry. Esme felt a feathery tug at her hand.

_What do you want, Baby?_

After about a minute Rubén's eyes fell down to her mouth and Esme heard Bobby chuckle next to them.

_You want a kiss, eh?_ She thought smiling. _You've become quite the snuggle bunny, my knight in shining armor._

Waiting for his whisper soft squeeze to confirm she was right, Esme finally leaned down to tenderly brush her lips over his; from left to right and right to left. Pulling back a few inch she waited for his reaction. His eyes softened and he squeezed her hand; he wanted more. Gently, she nipped at his lower lip and sucked it cautiously between her teeth before releasing it back.

_You and Bobby are my heart outside my body. I promise you I'll do everything within my power to come back,_ she pushed to the two men in the room and then gave Rubén a last tender kiss.

Standing, Esme turned to Bobby who had come around Rubén's bed. They had said their goodbyes and vows at the hotel this morning so there was nothing left to do but hug tight and seal their pledges with one last kiss. It was soft and sweet, fully enjoying the feeling and taste of the other, committing it to memory for the days or perhaps weeks of separation ahead. They'd decided that Cookie would drive Esme to the designated rendezvous so Bobby could stay with Rubén and take care of him in case he became agitated.

"Love you, Baby. We'll be waiting," Bobby whispered a last time against her lips.

_Love you more and I know._

Esme gave him a last soft peck, turned and walked out of the door and out of their lives.

_Please God, if you hear me, please let her come back to us,_ Bobby thought as he watched the door close behind her.

"Well Amigo," he turned around to Rubén, sat down on his bed and lovingly pushed his outgrown hair behind his ears. "Now it's just the two of us," he smiled down at him. "We should start planning a surprise for when our little terror tiger returns."

Bobby bent over and kissed Rubén softly. He felt like crawling into bed and wailing like a wounded animal; but he needed to be strong for the man lying in front of him. As soon as he was back at the hotel he'd have to look into flights to Montana to make good on his promise to contact Rubén's parents.

* * *

**Rangeman, Trenton, New Jersey**

"Dismissed," Tank ordered the men to leave the conference room.

Once the last one exited, Tank swiveled his chair and blankly looked out of the windows over the four floor building across the street. Trenton's downtown district could be seen in the background; but Tank had no eyes for anything outside the jumble of thoughts tearing through his mind. Eight days since the mission team under Lester and Ram's command left Trenton and he hadn't heard a single word. He didn't know whether they were still in Georgia, whether T had already met up with them, perhaps they were already in Colombia.

Letting his fist sail down onto the mahogany tabletop, Tank gave in to the frustration he was feeling. He enjoyed the role he had carved for himself within Rangeman. He was the silent backbone of the company and kept the ship moving effortlessly. Never would he want to return to living the half-life of a black ops mercenary; the life Ranger was still leading. A life on the edge where settling down and enjoying the fruits of one's labor is impossible because who knows when you'll be called on a mission. Now, for the first time since they all founded Rangeman and he retired from active duty, Tank felt himself reaching his limits. The Trenton office was running on fumes with all the men beyond exhausted and frustrated. Tank had drastically reduced their workload; skips just above hundred thousand dollar bonds, no new security clients and no government work. Ranger's irrational and aggressive behavior had reached the rumor mills and four clients filed suits for damages taken place within the last month. Trenton was no longer running cost-effectively and the other branches had been advised to help in any capacity to save the jobs of their colleagues here.

Tank sighed and rubbed his hands over his shaved head. He worried about Ranger's health and for the well-being of Lester and Ram. He feared for the team his two dearest friends were leading on this hellish mission. He was concerned for Bobby, who had totally turned his back on his brothers, not that Tank could fault him; but this mission could potentially destroy his emotionally fragile friend. Then there was T, the spitfire that clawed her way into his heart. Tank feared for T the most.

So far, NISE had cost two assassins and two Rangemen their lives and there was still at least one traitor among them who was responsible for supplying Ranger with the drug cocktail. In addition, Rodríguez was incapacitated, Bobby had left Rangeman probably forever and Lester wasn't too far behind him. Ranger was seriously ill and T was out their standing up to a more powerful enemy than Tank ever had to face. He wanted to lash out and pummel someone or hit Stark and beat the shit out of every criminal who dared to cross his path. That would help to get rid of the destructive energy in him; but what Tank wanted most of all was to be part of the mission team and mow down that filth in Colombia with his own hands. Instead, he was sitting here, powerless, hoping everything turned out OK because from here on out there was nothing he could do to help his friends. From now on, it was touch and go for Rangeman Trenton and everybody connected to them.

Grabbing his ringing cell phone that was clipped to his belt Tank roughly barked, "Talk!"

"Tank?" A soft female voice answered. "Carmen here. Carlos is making progress. He talked to me, well a few sentences; but he agreed to voluntarily take the anti-depressants and stabilizer."

"Thank God," the giant black men whispered with closed eyes. "That's the best news of the day, Carmen. Thank you for calling me. I'll check in with you when I come over later."

Clipping the cell back to his belt Tank leaned his head against the head cushion of the chair, took a deep breath and slowly let go of some of the tension in him. Ranger was improving, things may soon be looking better.

* * *

**An abandoned field outside Stamping Ground, Kentucky, far away from any housing**

Cookie and T were waiting in his Explorer as they could hear the telltale noise of an approaching chopper.

"Take good care of them," T turned to the huge black man next to her knowing he understood she meant Bobby and Rubén.

"You can count on me, Tiger," he answered in his deep bass voice and squeezed her hand.

As T got out of the car, a black fly seemed to drop out of the sky growing larger and louder as it descended upon its rendezvous point. Calmly she started to walk toward the middle of the field as the Pave Hawk with its four huge additional tanks seemingly aimed to crush her. The noise was deafening. Ten yards above her, the pilot positioned the chopper downward so that it was hovering a foot above the ground. The sliding door was pulled open and after a few long strides T grabbed Furor's hand and was pulled into the Pave Hawk. Barely inside the chopper, she turned and with her feet still dangling in midair; she sent a last wave to her friend while the pilot circled Cookie's Explorer and vanished from sight.

_You OK?_ She heard Furor ask in her mind.

Rev and Agony were helping out as co-pilot and engineer so she was alone with him, Button and CP.

_Yeah; but it was hard. Rubén got a little agitated; but calmed down soon enough and now the only important thing is that I come back to them,_ she thought.

_We all need to come back, Angel. Pain and I want to become grand-pas after all, _he hugged her as well as he could in spite of the thick helmets they were each sporting.

_What's the latest word from Rage and V?_

_They could isolate Escobar's laboratories on one ample valley. They left Cúcuta this morning to meet up with us on the other side of the range,_ Furor replied.

_Ram's GPS?_

_Activated and working perfectly. We won't have trouble locating them in the mountains._

T made herself comfortable next to Furor and accepted the water bottle he was handing her.

_So far, so good; let's go get us some bad guys,_ she smiled demonically at him.

* * *

**Blue Ridge Wildlife Management Area, north of Camp Merrill, Georgia**

_Lester? Ram? _T connected herself with the minds of the two men. _We have you in sight. Furor will now come down to your camp. Act surprised._

T made herself comfortable on a huge boulder and nodded to her second in command to move down the slope to Camp Rangeman.

"Yo. Furor?" Knock and Scotch were the first to see him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

T sat on her boulder about four hundred yards above them and listened in to what was going on in the minds of the men. She needed to know whether any one of the remaining Rangemen was anxious about their arrival, thinking about how to reach out to DuPuits or any other part of NISE to inform them.

Meanwhile, all the men were up and surrounding Furor who was chatting with them, giving them some humbuck about how the IAs were here for a training and he picked up their trail and wanted to say hello. After ten minutes and the Rangemen being nothing but happy about meeting Furor, T spread her net over all their minds and made them aware of her presence.

_Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm happy to see ya all so well fed and trained. Hope you are ready to serve at my beck and call,_ she smiled as she jumped down the boulder and together with Agony and Rev jogged down the slope to the surprised mission team.

"Fuck, T, I serve under your command any day of my life; but what are you all really doing here?" Vince asked stunned.

_We are here to pick up your sorry asses. Effective immediately, I am taking command over the mission. You have half an hour to get ready; our ride awaits us on the other side of the hill. Operation Escobar starts,_ she looked at her wrist watch, _NOW._

The Rangemen scurried away like a bunch of ants at a picnic. Within thirty minutes, the camp was packed up and each man reported he was ready to leave. They reached the chopper just under an hour later and the Rangemen were visibly taken aback by the imposing Pave Hawk with its additional tanks that suddenly appeared in front of them on a more than narrow clearing, guarded by Button and CP.

_Ladies, your chariot,_ T stepped it up a notch while the rotor blades started to move.

The last ass had barely hit the floor of the chopper when the pilot soared out of the forest.

_Rev and Agony are in the cockpit. Rage and V are already in Colombia. We're heading to a small privat airfield where an unmarked plane is waiting for us. We'll perform a HALO jump once we reach the target zone. Knock, Scotch, you will each get an experienced jump partner; probably Furor and CP. We'll just have a very short window for the jump and will rendezvous on the backside of the mountain range that encircles the target zone. Everybody is responsible for his partner. No radio communication. Should anyone of you get lost,_ T tipped a finger at her helmet, _I'll find 'em._


	50. Chapter 50 - Getting Started

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

* * *

**Chapter 50 – Getting Started**

**20,000 feet above**** mo****untain region ****northeast**** of Sardinata, Colombia**

It was pitch black with a dense blanket of clouds hanging low and stretching ominously beyond the summits of the mountain range below them. T glanced down at her wrist watch. 3 A.M, the moment of truth had arrived.

_Gentlemen, you know the risks,_ she pushed to the men standing in line waiting to jump from the rear ramp of the Lockheed C-130 Hercules.

Their faces were serious, their minds centered and their bodies ready for the exertion ahead of them. Each team member had strapped their 160 lbs backpack which included assorted weapons, a hell-load of explosives, a compass with GPS and marked way-points and a barometer to their fronts. With all of the equipment safely situated either on or in the pack, a parachute bag was cinched to their backs and strapped together with the front backpack essentially sandwiching them between the gear. To help their bodies absorb the landing under the massive load, their jump gear also included the usual safety measures like jump boots, bandages for ankles, knees and lower back. Lined up like that in full gear T once more thought they were a breed of their own; facing death with a sure battle cry, carrying out whatever asked for, blindly trusting her command.

_We're facing a __night drop into a __wooded__ mountainous terrain with a low hanging dense blanket of clouds__. It's __raining cats and dogs __with ga__le-force win__ds com__ing __from the north/north-east at__ 50 mph. Dying is __not an __option so take care that your asses land safel__y.__ I have absolute faith in your abilities. Knock, you jump with CP; Scotch, you'll partner with Furor. The marked wa__y-poi__nts in your GPS cover a clearing the size of two football fields; that's our landing zone. S__hould you find yourself off-course__ and miss the LZ__,__ don't use your radio; just find us with your GPS. __Anything else happens__ and we don't hear from you, I'll find you. No one is left behind on this mission, no matter the price__. Am I clear?_

A cacophony of battle cries was the team's answer and then the ramp of the Hercules lowered, sealing their fate. Once they stepped into the nothingness below, there was no way back. With a single stride into the abyss, the battle of their lives would begin and they'd have to trust T to get them home alive. One after another, the men quickly ran off the ramp and vanished in the darkness. T, Agony and Rev were last. They laid their hands on top of each other, shared a last determined look and then hurled themselves over the edge of the ramp.

Immediately, they built a formation gripping each other's hands. Below them in the impervious black, they could barely see the ghostly glow from the sticks attached to the parachute bags of the rest of the men who were also flying in close formations. As soon as they entered the stormy atmospheric layer, T, Agony and Rev saw some of the formations being torn apart. They shot a quick glance at each other a millisecond before the ferocious storm clawed at them. Agony and Rev tried in vain to tighten their iron grip around T's wrists; but the vicious wind ripped her from their grasp.

She was gone. Her brothers' gut-wrenching screams lost in the groans of the storm as the gusts spun her featherweight body through the air like a lifeless puppet; up and down, back and forth, farther and farther away from her team and toward her death. Determination overtook panic and T wrestled the elements finally managing a controlled free fall while breaking through the thick cloud cover. She quickly scanned the area realizing there were no longer any glow sticks visible; but she could feel the men's minds to the west. Checking her equipment, T realized that she'd been pushed about a mile westward and with the ground quickly approaching, it was high time to open the parachute.

Her landing was a crash and left her feeling as though every bone and joint in her body got compressed. Just as T attempted to rise to her feet, the howling gusts gripped the chute, inflated it, whirled her around and dragged her further along the ground. When she was finally able to free herself from the chute, her body was battered and bleeding from being pulled through mud and over rocks and boulders.

Spent from her ordeal, T gingerly rolled onto her back and tried to catch her breath. The frigid rain pelted down on her already drenched and beat body, while something warm ran along her temple and into her ear.

_Ah, shit! Not good_, she thought to herself.

She raised her hands allowing the unrelenting rain wash the mud away. Eventually she mustered enough energy to pull off her helmet and swipe along her temple.

_Fuck, that's a lot of blood. I hate head wounds_.

Following the trail of blood to her brow, T found the laceration and applied pressure with her right hand. With her left, she searched for a compress and bandage in the backpack that was still attached to her front and lying between her legs.

Once the wound was dressed, T tried to get up onto her feet; but the pain caused black dots to appear in her field of vision. She laid herself back down in the rain and breathed against the ache of being roughly jostled by the elements. Once she got her bearings, T sat up, scanned westward and found that the team was complete. She was proud of them. Furor, Button and CP were checking everybody while Rev attempted to calm Agony from becoming frantic.

_Hey guys,_ she pushed to them. _I'm fine, about a mile and a half eastward from your position. Just need a little break before I find you._

Everybody had survived the drop; that boded well for their upcoming mission. Now they had to meet up with Rage and V.

**_A few hours later_**_…_

The first traces of light were glinting at the eastward horizon when Rage and V finally entered the periphery of T's mind.

_Hey Angel, you out there? _She heard Rage calling out for her.

_You just entered my radar._

_You must be soaking wet after last night's storm. We're in the cave we found__ and have a fire going. Bre__akfast waiting for all of you. Come find us._

It was a grueling march up the small winding paths through the dense undergrowth. The rain-sodden ground gave a suck-slurp sound with each step the team took and landslides added further complications to their ascent. Even their combat boots, with a better than average tread, were no match for the steep inclines. They continuously slipped and T, with a pack double her own weight, face-planted twice in the mud under the enormity of her gear. Her small body was already battered and fatigued from the earlier crash; but she ground her teeth against the pain and kept moving all the while scanning their surroundings for threats.

It was eleven A.M. when, breathing heavily, the team finally reached the cavern situated near the mountain's peak. The view of the valley below was breathtaking; but the striking beauty of the scenery quickly dissipated upon the realization that Escobar's laboratories, the drug and its formula were hidden within its grandeur. Their directive to search, rescue and destroy would begin tonight. They planned to split into teams and scour the area for entries to the cave system Escobar apparently constructed.

* * *

**Cedar Creek Behavioral Health Center, Stamping Ground, Kentucky**

With his body droopy and his head hanging low, Bobby slowly made his way to Rubén's ICU room. He wasn't aware of anything around him, didn't see anybody and didn't want to be seen or addressed by anyone. He was tired and emotionally drained after the therapy session with his psychotherapist. Even acknowledging the guard outside Rubén's door was too much for him at the moment.

As Bobby stood in front of Rubén, he kicked of his sneakers and crawled next to him settling into the small hospital bed. Bobby didn't care how it looked or what people would think when they saw the two massive bodies curled up against each other. He needed to be close to the one person who'd given him security, love and a feeling of worth over so many years. As Esme, Rubén had seen him at his lowest. There had never been any holding-back between them and the freedom that came with that made fresh tears start to slip from his eyes and soak Rubén's hospital gown. In the silence of the room with the feeling of comfort that came with the warm body next to him, Bobby let loose of his despair and cried for all the pain he felt inside him.

He must have fallen asleep because when he came around, a hand was lying on his arm, fingers softly caressing his skin. Bobby felt Rubén breathing into his hair just before his lips softly connected with his brow. Pushing himself up, Bobby searched for Rubén's eyes. They were clearer and more alert than he'd seen them in months and they shone with worry and love.

"Honey?" He watched for any signs of increased awareness.

For a moment Rubén seemed to collect himself before a beautiful smile tugged at his mouth and with a slightly raspy voice he croaked, "Hey."

"Oh my god, you are speaking and you moved your arm," he gulped in a vain attempt not to lose control again.

Without consciously making the decision, Bobby lowered himself down and stopped an inch above Rubén's face. His eyes fell upon his lover's beautifully sculpted lips. Bobby could feel the anticipation and desire building and flooding his body. Brushing his lips over Rubén's, a groan escaped him as Rubén kissed him back. It was just a minor movement of his lips; but it felt so heavenly. Bobby nipped along Rubén's bottom lip, pulled it ever so gently between his teeth just to release it and soothe the sensual sting with the tip of his tongue. When he tried to pull back, Rubén followed him, capturing Bobby's lips in another loving kiss that slowly increased in passion. Dizziness rushed over Bobby like a tidal wave. Rubén was moving and speaking; his Amigo, his Love was speaking.

"Oh god, Baby," he eventually pulled back and started peppering Rubén's face with butterfly kisses. "You are back. You are talking. I need to find Dr. Garvey."

He hurriedly started to get up; but Rubén held him back. His grip on Bobby's arm was soft, his muscles weak after weeks of lying motionless in bed; but Bobby instantly stilled. Cupping Bobby's face, Rubén's thumb traced the dried tears on his cheek.

"You cried." Two simple words; but for him, finding and saying them demanded unwavering fortitude. "Why?"

Bobby took a shuddering breath and gently ran his fingers over Rubén's brow, smoothing some wayward strands of hair out of his face and behind his ears.

"Because I love you as much as I love Esme. I made a promise to both of you and now I have to renege on one of those promises," he took a deep breath. "I have to break yours and it shatters my heart."

Rubén watched him. He had a hard time not drifting back into the mental stupor; but he wanted to stay aware in spite of its pull. Back when he was in his catatonic state, he had heard Bobby and Esme talking to him, had seen their shapes, their faces, as though they were behind some frosted glass. Now everything was crystal clear; his vision, his hearing, and his parched mind desperately drunk in the sight of Bobby. Every small detail; the lines around his eyes, the strain in his features, the sadness and pain on his face.

"What promise?" He finally got out.

"An eternity ago we made an agreement that should anything ever happen to you, I would wait for a final outcome before informing your parents. So, I didn't tell them when you were rescued by the IAs. Even after you were healed, you insisted on staying away from them. All these years, I... I've never broken my vow to you. Your parents continue to believe you are dead; but now," he sighed deeply and averted his eyes.

"She... I..." Bobby fought against the bile rising from his over-anxious stomach. "Before she left, Esme made me swear that I would contact your parents. She believes they have a right to know their son is alive. She wants you surrounded by not only me; but other people who love you, who will support you in the fight ahead and who'll pick you up and brush you off should you fall," Bobby turned his head and looked back straight into Rubén's eyes. "Deep down inside, Baby, I know she's right. I still love you so damn much. A future with you, me and Esme together would be an incredible dream come true. I'm trying to stay strong for both of us; but I'm struggling, Mi Amigo. My nervous breakdown taught me to take better care of myself and stop living just for others' needs and expectations; but I feel like a traitor to you. Nothing would please me more than honoring both of my lovers' wishes and choosing between the two people who I love more than anything in this world makes me physically sick; but I have to go with Esme's wish. Forgive me."

Fresh tears spilled from Bobby's already red and swollen eyes. Slowly, Rubén resolutely brought his feeble hand up and wiped the evidence of Bobby's pain away. His mind wanted to shut down from the physical and mental exertion; but he needed Bobby know that everything was fine. Gently tugging at his head, Rubén managed to pull Bobby down to gaze directly into his eyes. He ghostly brushed his lips across Bobby's then pressed in with a sweet kiss full of love and comfort. Bobby returned the sentiment and when they broke apart moments later, Rubén caressed his face a last time.

"It's okay," he croaked tired. "It's okay, Mi Amante." Then his eyes shut in exhaustion.

* * *

**Mountain region northeast of Sardinata, Colombia**

As the sun was setting in the west, dipping everything in deep orange and red hues, the Rangemen and IAs sporadically came awake stretching and readying themselves for the night ahead. They had arrived at the camp around lunchtime. The men ate, T got her laceration stitched and then everybody aside from Rage and V lay down to get some much needed rest. Now T, Furor, Lester and Ram together with Rage and V were hunched over a map of the valley discussing their strategies and how they should proceed with the mission.

"After those hostages were pushed over the edge of the slope, V and I followed Escobar's henchmen back down to the valley where they suddenly vanished at one point. It was in this area," Rage pointed at the map.

"In the days before, we also had sightings of Guerrillas, guards from Escobar we think. They appeared out of thin air and disappeared the same way," V added and pointed to three densely forested regions along the opposite side of the valley.

_That's all a sign of some kind of underground __tunnel system__ and/or cave passageways,_ T summed up. _The last infrared SAT images I got from Marvey showed sporadic none-human heat sources at the opposite mountains,_ her index finger followed a line of dots marked on the map._ Perhaps lanterns or torches to mark the tunnel entrances? Did you see anything alike while you were here?_ She turned to Rage and V.

"No," V shook his head. "It's quite a distance from here and the vegetation is dense. There's no chance we'll be able to see that from this far away. We need to move in closer and should also expect guards protecting any accesses."

"Fact is that this valley and the surrounding mountains are uninhabited so whatever those heat sources were they most probably have to do with Escobar," Rage said.

"We have to figure out where exactly those henchmen vanished," Lester rubbed his stubble. "Is there some kind of cave-system? Or is it an old mine? Is there one entrance or several? Are there ventilation shafts?"

"Yeah man," Ram agreed. "Whatever it is, we have to map it. We need to know all entrances, exits, hidden escape-ways and vulnerable points. We can't have anyone slipping past us. More importantly, we have to find the locations of the drug production stations and the storage facilities. Also, where the hostages are being held."

"We can't risk ambushing anyone. The guards we are facing must stay oblivious to our presence otherwise Escobar could be warned," Furor cautioned.

_Alright, before we can make any further decisions on how to approach our final assault, __gathering __more in__tel is our first priority. We ha__ve to scout out the valley and opposite mountains more thoroughly. Our group is larger now and therefore can span out to different __areas covering more ground._T looked up at Lester and Ram. _You know your men best so the final decision is yours; but I suggest the following teams: Furor, Zero, Knock. Vince, Woody, Scar, CP. Les, you go with Cal, Button and Scotch. Ram, you take Rage and V. I'm with Agony and Rev. This way every team has a tracker and a medic on board. I like this better than keeping the IAs and Rangemen separated._

"Um, wrong Shortstack. Every team **but yours** has a medic," Les centered his eyes on T pinning her with a concerned gaze.

"Lester, you forget that I have a superb early warning system," T tapped her head and smiled.

Lester wasn't happy; but agreed that with five teams. They'd have maximum coverage of the valley and a greater chance of fishing out the needed information.

T would take the middle with two teams to the right and left. Fanned out this way, they should be able to find Escobar, his men and the hostages quickly. T reminded everybody once again that their goal was strictly reduced to intel gathering and finding the ins and outs of those hidden passageways. Under no circumstance could any of Escobar's men be taken out or it would raise suspicions. Agreeing on meeting back in the cavern after three nights, T, Furor, Les and Ram broke up to inform the men and get started.

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for all the kind and supportive reviews I got for 49 and the get-well-soon-wishes - I'm still in the hospital and will probably be during May and June, too; but I'll try to update as often as possible. Take care, everybody.  
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	51. Chapter 51 - Confessions

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: I know some of you can't wait for the mission action; but this chapter had to be. Bobby has to get the support he needs and Rubén needs his family. For those who tend to tears - tissue warning. I also want to send a special heartfelt thank you to those who left a review or sent a pm - I'm a space cadet at the moment and don't manage to answer individually; but I love the support and thoughts you sent me!_**

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**Chapter 51 – Confessions**

**Mission Field, Livingston, Montana**

It was nine A.M. when Bobby stepped off the Rangeman jet in Mission Field, a private airstrip just outside of Paradise Valley, blinking against the bright Montana sunshine. The brilliant cornflower blue sky was clear of clouds and the air was already warm, carrying the promise of another hot summer day. Soon he'd have to face the two people who were more like parents to him than his own had ever been; but he'd broken all ties with them more than five years ago. He doubted he'd be welcome and wondered whether or not calling Rubén's parents to warn them about his visit would have been a wise choice; but he was too much of a chicken. This whole trip was taking a toll on him, no matter how extensively he and his therapist had talked through every contingency.

The last time Bobby visited this area, springtime was in full bloom. The sun had been comfortably warm, the flowers were bursting with vibrant colors and the air had been filled to the brim with the fragrances of spring. In Bobby's mind, the glory of the scene proved ironic. The season represented rebirth and growth not death and heartache; but his arrival to the home of Rubén's parents was to deliver the news of their son's demise. His mission left Bobby feeling shattered deep into his core. Now, six years later, the summer season was at its peak. The grass and crop were reaching toward the mid-morning sun as Bobby anxiously turned off Interstate 90 at the interchange for Highway 89 and entered Paradise Valley.

The beauty of the valley spreading in front of him once more took his breath away; it surely deserved its name. Leaving Rt. 89, Bobby followed the East River Road which hugged the banks of the winding Yellowstone River. To the right and left he passed sporadic grain fields; but otherwise it was nature at its best. Here and there houses and farms were scattered amongst the soft green slopes that stretched out along the Absaroka Range. He could see Mt. McKnight and Marten Peak in the distance. Memories were flooding his mind, making his heart flutter and his stomach clench. Rubén and he had climbed every mountain of the Range and made love under the vast blanket of stars visible so far up from any city lights, away from preying eyes and the stress of work. The times they had shared here were the best of Bobby's life.

Taking a deep cleansing breath, he left the Yellowstone River behind and turned first onto Chico Road then Emigrant Creek Road towards Emigrant Peak. The gravel road wound upward through the Gallatin National Forest. The earthy aroma of humus, foliage and pine wafted through the open windows of his rental SUV as Bobby weaved in and out of the sunshine. At about the half way mark before the Peak, he turned onto the sandy mile long driveway of the Rodríguez family's secluded ranch.

Crossing the small wooden bridge over the Blacktail Creek which supplied the Ranch with fresh spring water, Bobby inched toward the tree line. The sight of the ranch on the clearing ahead of him brought tears to his eyes. So many sweet memories of happiness, comfort, support and security washed over him causing his emotions to flare. He shut down the motor, jumped out of the SUV, bent over and put his hands on his knees while doing some deep breathing. His nerves were a mess and he was on the edge of an anxiety attack. Everything around him was familiar and screamed home; the trees, the smell, the horses' neighing, the clearing ahead with the beautiful ranch house, stables, barns and numerous paddocks. The pristine setting of Paradise Valley stretched out below the ranch in awe-inspiring and breathtaking conservancy with the Yellowstone River and the Village of Emigrant visible in the far distance. The air was impeccable; quite a few degrees nippier than in the valley; but allowed a detailed view of the mountain range on the opposite site of the valley. Closing his eyes and leaning against the car, Bobby tried to center himself for the task ahead of him.

The guard dogs announced his arrival loudly before they recognized him and their frantic barking changed into overjoyed whining. He didn't think they'd remember him; but even after six years they jumped up and down his body jockeying for a scratch and pat. Cheerful Mexican music sounded through the open windows of the house as Rubén's mom appeared on the porch. For the blink of an eye she froze and then threw her hands to her mouth.

"Bobby? Oh my god, Bobby!" She cried and ran toward him.

For days, Bobby agonized over how his arrival would be received. Would he be welcomed, embraced and forgiven for his absence or slapped, railed at and chased away from the grounds? Catching Rubén's mother, lifting her up and feeling her soft, voluptuous body in his arms, brought a wave of relief crashing over Bobby threatening to make his knees buckle.

"I'm sorry for abandoning you all, mom. I'm so terribly sorry," he let out on a breath while holding her tight in his arms.

"Hush, boy. The only thing important is that you are here now," she squeezed his neck and pressed a peck onto his cheek before he let her down.

"Let me look at you," she stepped back while keeping his hands firmly in hers. "You look tired, my dear; aged and tired. That beautiful spark is gone from your eyes."

"It's been some hard years, mom," Bobby took a shuddering breath. "I need to talk to you and pop. Will he listen to me?"

"Of course, my sweet child. What do you think?" Rubén's mother reached up and lovingly caressed his cheek. "You were, you are and you will always be our son, no matter the circumstances. Diego is taking care of one of the horses who's fallen ill. Go to the kitchen, make yourself at home and I'll fetch him. Then you'll tell us what's weighing so heavily on your shoulders," she smiled knowingly at him and with a wipe at her misty eyes turned and bustled toward the stables.

_Of course she would know that something was going on_, Bobby thought. She could always read him like a book.

Half an hour later they were sitting in the kitchen, steam rising from the coffee mugs in front of them and a plate with cookies in the middle of the table.

"Mom, pop," Bobby looked up at them, pain and distress plainly visible on his face. "I thought long and hard how to break this to you gently; but I simply see no way," he took a deep shuddering breath and looked down at his hands desperately clasping the mug in front of him.

"Rubén is alive."

Deafening silence.

After a minute Bobby looked up at them and could see utter shock drawn onto their faces. Lucia and Diego Rodríguez sat pale-faced in front of him, desperately holding each other's hands while they tried to absorb what they were told moments ago. Their son, their beloved Amigo whom they buried and never really stopped mourning, was alive.

"We need to see him," Rubén's father finally stammered with a trembling voice, struggling to get up, clasping the tabletop when strength eluded him. "Tell us where he is, Bobby."

"Please, pop, sit. There is more," anguish washed across Bobby's face. "What I am about to tell you will be difficult to hear; but you need to know in order to understand the whole situation," he pleaded, his eyes misty as he fought the urge to lose it. "The man you remember as your son doesn't exist anymore. Please, let me explain."

"What did those bastards do to him?" Diego Rodríguez quickly grasped.

Closing his eyes and folding his hands in front of his mouth, Bobby took a last centering breath before he started to unfurl the happenings of the last six years.

"Eight months after Rubén was declared dead, I received a call reporting he was found in some godforsaken Afghan dungeon. A team of the Inferna Angelus Syndicate, a group that specializes in hostage rescue, recovered two imprisoned Special Forces soldiers. They informed the IAs of another American prisoner somewhere in the dungeons below the building. The team immediately went to further investigate and by pure chance they found Rubén," Bobby paused and braved a glance discovering a waxen expression covering Lucia and Diego's faces.

"The al-Qaeda tortured him to within an inch of death; but we now have reason to believe that treason within our own government put him in that predicament. I first saw him at the ICU on Ramstein AFB in Germany where he was brought after his rescue. You can't imagine what he looked like," Bobby trembled at the memory. "He was unrecognizable. Oodles of monitors and machines surrounded his bed. Nearly every inch of his body was injured and wrapped in gauze or foil. Wires and tubes connected to the few patches of skin that were not bandaged in some way. Even with all the care he was receiving, they told me his chance of survival was only twenty percent."

The memories brought a sudden surge of anguish over Bobby. His effort to hold back the tears burning in his eyes waned.

"It wasn't enough for those bastards to torture him, to break his bones, to carve, burn, brand, flog him, to pull his nails and teeth. They raped him – brutally – many times. The anal damage was so severe that it had to be surgically repaired."

Rubén's mom stood up, slid onto the bench next to him and held him while they cried together.

"What happened then, son," Mr. Rodríguez' hoarse voice brought Bobby back to reality and forced him to gulp down his despair in order to continue.

"For five weeks, the doctors at Ramstein kept him in an artificial coma. When he finally awoke, he was in a catatonic state and completely unresponsive to his surroundings. A week later a MedEvac flight brought him back stateside to Walter Reed Hospital in Washington. In the course of the following months, the doctors there put him under high doses of Benzodiazepines and exposed him to electroconvulsive therapy in the hopes to elicit a response from him. When his catatonic condition hadn't significantly changed half a year later, they decided nothing more could be done and wanted to transfer him to a VA medical center."

Bobby had to stop as anger flared hot and consuming from the memory of the day when Dr. Krawell at Walter Reed told him and the rest of Rangeman's core team that Rubén had to be moved because 'they had done all they could and needed to make room for a soldier that would actually benefit from their medical care.' Just like that his love was dismissed for no other reason than he muddied the hospital's track record, at least that is how it was perceived by Bobby. Trying to reign in his anger, he continued with his recount of events.

"He was broken and all they were willing to do was allow him to vegetate in some VA hospital room. I would not subject Ruben to such a lousy existence. None of us – Ranger, Lester, Tank, Ram, Cal, Woody or myself – could live with that outcome. Ram finally found a private mental institution near Georgetown, Kentucky. Cedar Creek Behavioral Health Center's alternative therapeutic tactics sounded promising. We brought Rubén there and the changes we witnessed were tremendous. Without any heavy medications or electroshock therapy, he uttered his first word about a month after being transferred to the facility. He remained at the institute for fourteen months before we moved to Trenton where Ranger and the guys had opened a new Rangeman branch. That was one year and nine months after he was rescued," Bobby paused, remembering Rubén's struggle in the face of all the men working at Rangeman.

"What happened then, darling?" Lucia Rodríguez squeezed his hand and wiped away the tears from Bobby's cheeks.

"He had trouble dealing with people, even with his former friends. First, we had to search for our own apartment outside the Rangeman building because he was uncomfortable being continuously surrounded by all the men. Next, he sold his Rangeman partnership. He wasn't able to manage the responsibilities and pressures of the job. Then, he began to withdraw farther and farther into himself and away from his coworkers and sadly, even me. Eventually, he started to work only nights in order to limit interactions with other people. I tried, mom and pop. I really tried to accommodate his needs and provide support; but the more encouragement and love I showed him, the more he pulled out of my reach. One day, he simply slipped away from me. Eighteen months after we arrived in Trenton, we ended our relationship. I moved back into the Rangeman building; but we managed to stay close, at least as close as Rubén would allow. At the end of last year, we started bonding again. We would hang out, go horseback riding or on day trips together. I really hoped that we could find our way back into a romantic relationship; but things didn't turn out that way."

Bobby took a few cleansing breaths. His head hurt, his hands were sweaty, his whole body coiled up with tension; but he needed to get it all out in the open.

"You need to be aware that what you know about Rubén's military life is just a shadow of the fame, mysticism and mortal fear that was really surrounding him. The name he was known by was La Muerte, the death. It was a persona he slipped into when he went on missions and was feared around the globe. Nobody survived a meeting with him. Muerte never again made an appearance after Rubén came out of his catatonia and we all thought he was gone. At the beginning of this year, Ranger volunteered the services of the company's special operatives for a perilous mission. Rubén had been significantly involved in the prenegotiations and repeatedly advised against accepting it. When he discovered Ranger intended to yield to the government's terms and deploy teams for this operation, all of Muerte's violence and destruction fiercely bubbled up to the surface. He was back with a vengeance and seemed to separate himself from the rest of Rubén. He overtook control of the body and became more and more possessive and violent. The only one who was able to handle him was a mutual friend, Esmeralda Torres. Esme got through to both of them, Rubén and Muerte, and could level them. When Rubén tried to commit suicide because of Muerte, it was Esme who talked him out of it. Then, about three months ago, there was a new mental breakdown and Rubén fell back into catatonia," Bobby took several shuddering breaths as he tried to fight the tears. The memory of his own cowardice hurt him more than words could say.

"Drink something, boy," Diego Rodríguez voice cut through the fog in his mind.

Looking at the coffee, Bobby stood up and got himself some cool water.

"I failed him," he continued, his voice breaking as the truth hit him once more. "I abandoned him in the hour of his greatest need; but I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Muerte was so physically and psychologically aggressive toward me. I saw Rubén suffering under Muerte's aggressions and constant harassment and I just couldn't bear watching my Amigo struggle. I felt empty and ran away like a coward. It was Esme and her brothers who brought Rubén back to Cedar Creek. In the following weeks, Esme made me realize that I needed to take better care of myself. She made me promise to find you and tell you about Rubén so he could hopefully return into the loving arms of his family. I really want to continue taking care of him as will Esme; but I realize that I need help. Right now Esme is away on a mission and it's too much for me to handle alone. Two days ago Rubén started to utter some words again. Speaking strains him as he struggles to find and say the words. The doctors are unaware as to how far he will recuperate this time. He may possibly remain a nursing case; but he's definitely on the road of recovery."

There were a few minutes of silence in the kitchen while Rubén's parents mulled over what he'd just told them.

"Five years and four months since his rescue," Diego Rodríguez finally spoke up. "Why... Bobby, why didn't you call us? Why did Rubén not want to come back to us?"

There was no anger or criticism in his questions. Pain, terrible, heart-aching pain laced his words.

"When Rubén and I decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together," Bobby eventually found his voice, "He made me promise that should ever something happen to him, I'd wait until there was a final outcome before I tell you. I wanted to honor his wish. Then, when he started to recover, he refused to contact you."

Bobby took a deep breath and played with the glass of water in his hand.

"He no longer looks the way you remember him," Bobby's voice was gravelly. "His face is marked by scars; his whole body," he started; but couldn't finish the sentence. "He once said he looked like a patchwork quilt and in some ill way he's right. There are so many scars, so many skin grafts, that it's hard to recognize the former beauty under those reminders of the terror he went through."

Bobby opened his backpack and pulled out some pictures he brought with him.

"I don't know how he feels now after he's slowly waking up from this new catatonic state; but before the last breakdown, all those years ago when he first was at Cedar Creek, he'd hated himself. He perceived himself as crippled and monstrous, physically as well as mentally. He had convinced himself that you were better off without him," Bobby pressed his lips together and pushed the pictures over the table.

Lucia and Diego gasped at the sight of their son.

"Those bastards," Diego Rodríguez was fighting the tears that threatened to spill over while he pulled his sobbing wife into his arms and soothingly rubbed her back. "We need to see him, Bobby. Instantly. Tell us how to get to that Behavioral Health Center so we can book a flight and accommodation."

* * *

**Marshall Field, Georgetown, Kentucky**

It was nine p.m. when the Rangeman Jet softly touched down on the private airstrip outside of Georgetown. The three hour flight had been comfortably silent. Bobby took a nap while Lucia and Diego Rodríguez came to terms with what they'd learned about their prodigal son and tried to prepare for what was awaiting them when they'd see him the next day. They had agreed that Bobby would bring them to the hotel where he reserved a suite for them and then drive on to Cedar Creek. He felt exhausted, wiped out, and at the same time nervous and on edge. He needed to see Rubén, to lay and reconnect with him. Badly.


	52. Chapter 52 - I Won't Give Up

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_Special disclaimer: The song Bobby's singing for Rubén at the end of the chapter is _****I Won't Give Up****_ by Jason Mraz_**

**_A/N: Here is 53 for you - wrapped up with a pretty sunny bow. For those of you with sensitive feelings or traumata on their own I want to warn you that Esme experiences another rape in her mind somewhere in the middle of this chapter. If you want to skip that part scroll forward to Bobby's next POV._**

**_Special thanks to my beta and those who reviewed - you rock, girls!_**

* * *

**Chapter 52 – I Won't Give Up**

**Cedar Creek, Bobby's POV**

Slowly awareness crept into my mind as I inhaled deeply giving my system a jump-start. Something was different… felt off; but smelled familiar. I wasn't in my bed or even my bedroom for that matter. My limbs seemed heavier, weighted down, like they'd won the gravity lottery and a warm body laid comfortably pressed to my front. Hearing a soft snore, a smile tug at my lips. My eyes remained shut and I reveled in the feeling of Rubén against me. Even in his weakened state he was still massive, his shoulders and chest broad, thinning to his narrow hips. He'd always been such an intimidating, strong and dominant character; but holding and caring for him gave me pleasure and satisfaction beyond words.

Last night we spent hours caressing, kissing and just enjoying each other. The sweet and unhurried tone cemented the reassurance we both needed from the other. This was real and neither of us was about to bail. I remember looking into his warm brown eyes and getting lost in their depths. They were awake, no longer dim or harboring fear. They shone with love and curiosity and sparkled with Rubén's playful mischief and a zest for life.

When it was time for me to leave, I couldn't bring myself to climb out of the bed. Everything in me screamed to stay and envelop Mi Amigo in my arms. The thought of being alone after such a long and stressful day almost brought on a panic attack. So, when Rubén searched for my hand and squeezed it, I stripped down to my boxer briefs and hopped back into his bed pulling him into me. When I entangled his naked legs with mine and splayed my hand over the warm skin of his stomach, I became lightheaded. For a few sweet moments before I drifted off to sleep, I felt peaceful and the fear for Esme and our future was somewhat soothed.

Now in the morning, even with Rubén in my arms, the tranquility from last night was gone. My mind was racing a hundred miles a minute as thoughts of my Baby penetrated my awareness. How is Esme doing, is she fine, have they already found Escobar, is the mission accomplished, are they perhaps on their way back? This ignorance was eating me alive. Never before have I been so scared for somebody and the feeling was suffocating. Rolling on my back, I rubbed my sternum trying to get in some good deep breaths. I needed to get away from here, out into the fresh air, alone with myself. Cautiously peeling away from Rubén, I put on my clothes, wrote him a note saying I'd be back later and silently found my way out of the still sleeping institute to the Panamera waiting for me in the parking lot. The early morning air was untainted and wonderful and for a moment I just stood there, my face soaking up the first warm rays of sun. I did some deep breathing against the lingering tightness in my chest and thought how much I disliked this new fearful aspect of me.

Fifteen minutes later with warm water pattering down on my head from the hotel shower, Esme saturated my thoughts. She was my strong, brave, irrepressible tigress. We have known each other so many years; but it took my break down for us to fall in love. I felt ashamed for abandoning her just as I had Rubén. She needed me at her side and I ran; but nonetheless she saw beauty and perfection in me.

_Dear god, please let her come back to me; please give me the chance to be a faithful, devoted, caring mate to her. Take from me whatever necessary; but please let her return healthy and alive._

* * *

**Colombia, Esme's POV**

It was three o'clock in the morning. Lying flat on our bellies on the wet, dense jungle ground, Rev, Agony and I slowed down our heartbeats and steeled our breathing. Darkness clung to the sky as the damp air smothering us crept through our already drenched clothes and into our bones. The branches and foliage sufficiently hid us; but did nothing to shield our bodies from the tooth-chattering cold. Ten yards away the enemy lurked and crawled with rifles leveled and searching the undergrowth for us. Earlier this night they'd picked up a goddamned foot print from Vince's team in the muddy ground and have been searching relentlessly ever since.

Within minutes of their discovery, more teams began popping up everywhere crawling out of the rat holes where they'd been hiding essentially trapping the Rangemen and IAs. Only Ram, Rage and V were able to pull back and retreat. I could feel them on the other side of the valley pacing and anxious to help; but I put them at ease. Should shit hit the fan, we'd need them to ambush these fuckers from behind. A fiery stab shot through my head right into my brow and I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain. Through Agony and Rev's ears I could hear the sluck-slurp from the Guerillas' rubber boots with every miserable step they took. They weren't exactly stealthy; but we were fucked just from the sheer number of their manpower.

_Cal,_ I pushed to him and his team. _Keep your current position.__ The men in front of you are leaving; but a group of four is coming up behind you from southeast. Estimated distance: forty yards._

_Vince, retreat eastwa__rd ab__out fifty yards, then wait for further directions._

_Furor, you are now cornered on three sides and they are closing__ in fast.__ Get up into the trees. Now._

The whole recon mission had gone totally FUBAR because of one stupid, flipping footprint someone forgot to brush away.

A shadow of a nudge to my arm brought me back to our current predicament of the Guerrillas swiftly advancing toward us. One of them had zeroed in on the brush we were hiding behind and was just a mere two yards away. He reeked with the stench of impending death and destruction. Channeling one hell of a sting into his left leg, we watched as he faltered, bent and started to scratch the skin. Distracted by the sudden zap, his focus slipped from his quest. The sudden call from one of his cronies saved our lives as he turned and hurried after the others. Turning over onto my back I let go of the breath I was holding. Agony and Rev followed, their hands meeting on my stomach. Gripping them, the three of us squeezed. That was a close call. Once more my mind had dealt fate a hand; but how often before I'd fail and someone would have to pay with their life? The moon and the stars were still bright above us; but sunrise would come soon. We needed to get outta here. Fast. Or we'd end up in a lead-filled tango with the Grim Reaper.

_Let's move. We have a clear line for about hundred yards._

Agony and Rev immediately got up and leveled their assault rifles. Keeping an eye on the situation for Furor, Vince and Cal, I blindly followed Rev while Agony brought up the rear. My head was pounding like a jackhammer from the constant scanning. This shit was nothing like our usual missions. Normally, we were all close by, my radar just needed to scan our immediate surroundings. Now, I continuously had to cover maximum range with my men scattered in small groups over the valley. In addition, the enemy was in superior number all over the place like ants. The strain was sucking the energy right out of me and I needed a serious break or I would no longer be able to protect them all.

Physically and emotional spent from the exertion of earlier, I was suddenly overcome by the memory of Bobby and our last goodbye. He'd been so down, so full of fear and self-doubt; but at the same time he looked at me with so much love and adoration. The sentiment almost left me feeling suffocated. He called me his queen, claimed I possessed the wisdom of the ages and was an angel sent from the gods. He was so wrong. Nothing wise here. An angel? Yeah, sure; but hell-sent, maybe, certainly not heaven-sent. I may rescue people for a living; but in the process I killed others and all without a second thought. I seldom let my mangled soul escape the confines of my body's scarred shell. Very few people got to see the real me. Constantly hearing their thoughts, I have come to deeply dislike most of manhood. I tried to make the best of my life and I knew I'd achieved a lot over the years; but it was a hard fight not to become a hateful cynic.

* * *

**Cedar Creek, Bobby's POV**

As soon as I climbed out of the Porsche, a sensation of dread overtook my consciousness. Once again I found myself rubbing my sternum and sucking in air as a new bout of tightness constricted my chest. Instantly, I took off running toward the institute's main building. Rubén. Something was wrong! With each stride closer to the ICU and his room, my inner alarm system buzzed relentless warnings; while the vise around my ribcage further stifled my breathing.

The sight accosting me as I rushed into the room made my blood freeze. Rubèn's eyes were torn wide open in fear, the pupils dilated and the white visible all around. Stress oozed from his every pore; while his arms flailed uncoordinated. His voice was agitated; but the words an incomprehensible mess. One of his female nurses stood away from the scene with worry written over her face. Two unknown males were pressing down on his shoulders, forcing him into the mattress while a young doctor tried to talk against the commotion.

"ENOUGH," I thundered, instantaneously making everybody in the room jump.

I wasn't sure what was happening with me; but the second I saw Rubén scared and on the verge of going 'bye-bye', something in me snapped causing the beast I buried so many years ago to rear its ugly head, straighten up to its full height and let loose a tremendous roar.

"Immediately let go of him and step away," I snarled at the two male nurses and the doctor as my body trembled, "or you'll wish you'd never set foot into this room."

I was juiced, wired for aggression and ready to attack. The rush was exhilarating and I imagined this must be how an overprotective mama grizzly watching after her young cubs would react. Blood surged through my body energizing every cell. I stalked over to Rubén's bed glowering at the three men who fearfully scrambled away from me. They'd meet a world of hurt should they have brought on a setback in Rubén's recovery.

The moment I sat down on the edge of his bed, I felt the hard plains of my face softening and tenderness filling my eyes. God, Rubén looked so scared, so disturbed and lost, I wanted to pull him into my arms and never let go.

"Hey Amigo," I leaned over him, caressed his face and brushed his hair behind his ears.

Rubén's cheeks remained flushed while the whites of his eyes cast an eerie backdrop for his glazed-over pupils. He continued to mumble incoherent things through shallow, ragged breaths.

"Hush, Baby. It's okay. I'm right at your side. Nothing can happen to you."

Leaning down so our foreheads touched, I closed my eyes and started to breathe slowly encouraging him to fall in step with me while I gently stroked his cheeks and jaw with my thumbs. He struggled to concentrate; but after several minutes his short, erratic gasps became more and more controlled.

"That's right, Honey. Breathe with me. Whatever they said or did, you are in control. I will make sure they understand that your wishes are to be honored and anything you don't want will not happen."

Feeling his chest relax under me, I knew I had finally gotten through to him. They had tried to force him to something he didn't want. Suppressing a growl that wanted to leave my throat, I lifted my head and started to press soft butterfly kisses around his face.

"Better now?" I asked after a last kiss to his soft lips.

I'd heard Dr. Garvey enter the room a few minutes ago while I was calming down Rubén and realized with satisfaction that he was reprimanding the young doctor who'd obviously ordered to restrain my man. When he was finished and everybody beside the three of us left the room, he turned toward the bed, his eyes showing nothing but gentleness and concern.

"Hey Rubén, I apologize for what just happened. You want to tell us what got you so agitated?" he asked in his sincere, soft-spoken way while pulling over one of the guest chairs.

I held Rubén's hand, my thumb drawing soothing circles on its back. He was trying to collect his bearings; but his face remained intense. His mind seemed to be all over the place and not able to process a coherent thought. His mouth opened and closed, several times, until his eyes started to get a faraway look as though he was slipping into a daze or worse back into an unresponsive state.

"Stay with me, my man," I squeezed his hand and could see Doc Garvey's alarmed look in my peripheral vision.

Quickly conjuring up a spiky massage ball, the doc moved to the other side of the bed and started to roll the ball along Rubén's arms and legs. He placed it into Ruben's hands and squeezed them until his eyes became more and more focused. It was a known way to keep people who tended to dissociate from slipping into an abyss and thankfully it worked its magic.

"Rubén," Doc Garvey started anew after a few minutes of thoughtful silence while I kept stroking and squeezing my Amigo's hand. "Provided that you agree, I'd like to give you a dose of a moderate potency anti-psychotic. I don't think you want to drop back into your catatonic state. Right now your mind is overrun with stress and anxiety. Basically, the command center in your brain is firing volleys of neurons in all directions. The anti-psychotic will calm you down and help your mind to sort through your thoughts. Would that be acceptable for you?"

**_Forty minutes later…_**

The medication had taken effect and Rubén was laying calm and relaxed in my arms, his back to my front. The protective roar that had ignited my body earlier had died down; but simmered at a constant current through my veins. I was tired; but at the same time strangely alive.

When Rubén and I met for the first time, I wasn't your ordinary, run of the mill gentle medic. I was aggressive and combative with the bitterness of my past fueling every actions. He understood me, didn't take my attacks personally and would reign me in when necessary. In return, I could appease him, level him and bring out his gentle, playful side. The start of our relationship was rough; but we quickly realized how much we complemented each other. Together, we felt whole; complete in a strange cosmic way. The years of pain and despair that followed eradicated any fire in me. Well, until today when it came back with a vengeance.

I worried about my two lovers. Nobody could say how far Rubén would recover from this last breakdown. There was the possibility he'd need special care for the rest of his life. And Esme? She was facing her own hells. One, an internal battle within her subconscious, that terrorized her with unrelenting images of her tortured and raped past. The other, a physically grueling challenge in some wet, bug infested Colombian jungle. Esme always seemed remarkably prepared and always geared for a fight; but still she was only human regardless of the tough, tigress persona she displayed. There was no saying that after this mission when she pursued her own therapy that she'd pull through and turn up at the end smelling like roses. Most probably it would be a long, rough and bumpy road.

They both struggled to trust, to let loose and to wholeheartedly relay on others. I had no doubt supporting and helping them would be a challenge from time to time. Nonetheless, I felt elated; a long lost fire flowing through my body. Perhaps it was because I knew mom and pop had my back and supported me. Perhaps it was that finally I started to find myself and drew strength out of this new self-perception and my love for these two amazing warriors. Whatever the reason, I was ready for this new part of my life.

* * *

**Colombia, Esme's POV**

I really needed to stop this shit. I was tired of breathing moisture, crawling through jungles, scrubs or mud holes, wearing the same clothes soaked with sweat for days or weeks on end, being eaten up by mosquitoes and bitten or stung by critters with no or more legs than me.

It was only noon with the humidity above ninety percent and rising. To make matters worse, the sun rested at its zenith and was scorching our already sweat soaked bodies. The salty juice poured in rivulets down our skin, stinging in our eyes and then finally either falling off the edge of our jaws or absorbing into our already drenched clothes. You'd have to be here to really appreciate the physical, emotional and psychological pain. Our burning, aching joints and muscles were nothing compared to the flaming agony radiating from our boot imprisoned feet or our raw, blistered and excoriated skin; but after unending hours of being trapped and threatened by exposure we were finally free to move.

_Thank God, fate or whoever else hears me. Thank you._

The rest of the men were safely on their way up to the cave to regroup. On our retreat back, Agony and Rev sandwiched me between them allowing my mind to zone out and doodle. Thoughts of Bobby and Rubén invaded my mind. To be all tender and loving with both of them felt so natural and kissing them both just seemed so right. No matter how close I'd been with Rubén, whether I'd lain spooned up in his arms, had caressed, kissed or otherwise loved him, Bobby had shown no sign of jealousy. On contrary, he'd seemed to like seeing the two of us so intimate with each other.

The only relationships I'd ever known close up and personal were homosexual; namely Agony and Rev's, Bobby and Rubén's and those of our employees at Great Falls. The rest of the guys weren't interested in something steady and had studiously kept their sex life away from me. I never thought that it would be possible for three people to love each other to even amounts without resentfulness; but it felt good and without strain. With Bobby and Rubén at my side, I was complete, alive and lighthearted.

Happiness flared in my chest as I remembered the three of us huddled on Rubén's bed, teasing and bantering. It was the first time they both kissed me at the same moment. Rubén and I were lost in the slow, sweet dance of our tongues as I suddenly felt Bobby brushing the hair away from my neck and starting to suckle at the nape. Their simultaneous attention made every cell in my body light up like a Christmas tree; but the killer was when Rubén detached from my mouth and he and Bobby locked eyes. Never before had anything touched me as so erotic as the kiss they then shared with me safely tugged between them. Their bodies surged toward each other and into me and I couldn't help the noiseless moan that escaped me and purred through their minds.

Letting my mind unconsciously reach out, I froze mid-step when I felt several people not twenty yards away from us. Agony, Rev and I flattened ourselves onto the soil and anxiously slowed our pulse and breathing down. Where the fuck did they come from? Had I allowed myself to daydream for too long?

They were three people, two men and a female hostage directly ahead of us and visible through the brush. The girl was blind and paralyzed with fear. I could hear her whimpering in my mind while the men became increasingly aroused by pulling her back and forth between them and kicking her whenever she fell to the ground. One of the men then pulled the girl back against his front and started to grind his body into her.

I was trapped in her mind, unable to disconnect as the bastard ripped off the tattered clothes hanging around her beaten body. Without warning, he rammed his member into her and my hand flew to my crotch as her pain shot through me. I felt his arms firmly tighten around my body like a vice and I fought them like there was no tomorrow. New arms and legs appeared further trapping me. I turned my head and bit the wrist near my face as hard as I could until I tasted blood; but the man never loosened his hold on me. I felt his face in my neck, his warm breath against my skin and I went ballistic. Before I could gain momentum, I was hauled over and buried under an immense weight. The constant pounding into my core tore me open and I felt warm blood running down the inside of my legs.

_God. No. Please, no,_ I cried in my mind.

Big, fat tears were running down my face as I was painfully pounded deeper into the ground with each thrust. There was nothing I could do against the filth violating me so bestially. My mind drifted off and I started to float above the scene. As though a bystander looking down on the gruesome spectacle, I watched as the man finished with an animalistic roar. His hot seed shot into my body, contaminating it and taking away my dignity as it mingled with my blood and slowly flowed out of my body. I wanted to whimper, pull up my knees and crawl back into myself until nothing was left on the surface; but without warning, I was roughly pulled up and brutally slammed face first into a tree. The second man shoved my legs apart and pushed his hard swollen sex into my now sleek core. He seemed to be bigger than his predecessor and tore my small hole open even wider. I bore his attack digging deep to dissociate from my body; but the constant pain never let me truly detach from myself. Then his thing slipped out of me and without warning rammed into my ass. My head filled with a scream that I knew would never be heard. My breathing became frantic gasps and I was choking on my own tears. A hand clapped over my mouth as I was pushed even deeper into the tree, suffocating under the weight pressing into me.

_Please, mother of God. Make them stop. I have a home I need to return to; Bobby and Rubén waiting for me. Please, don't let this happen to me,_ I begged in a constant iterative loop.

Just as I was about to slip into unconsciousness I wondered what had happened to the girl. Then everything went black.

**_Twenty minutes later…_**

I woke up to my head rhythmically bobbing to and fro. The earth must be moving. Fast. No, wait, I was moving. Someone was carrying me at a brisk pace. My inner alarm went off like a banshee. In a tidal rush, memories of the rape slammed back into my mind causing me to freeze and start sweating instantly. With a soundless yelp, I jerked out of the hold and fell to the ground. Before I could open my eyes, my arms and legs were tackled and driven into the soil.

_Angel, Sweetie, it's me. Agony. Look at me, Angel. You've got nothing to fear,_ Agony's face swam into view; but the plea to stop fighting never reached my brain. _Esme, Sweetie, stop. It's Rev and me. Nothing can happen to you. We'd never let anything happen to you,_ Agony assured me in his mind. As his words finally rushed past the barricade, my limbs slacked and I lay on the damp earth trying to catch my erratic breath. The burning sun stung my eyes until Agony's face appeared above me. He cast an appreciated shadow as I tried to work on a coherent thought. In my peripheral vision I saw Rev on full alert, covering us.

"What happ… Oh My God! I was raped. How could I have been raped!?" I finally signed as soon as I felt capable of thinking. "Why… Why didn't you prevent it?" Agony's face was pained. "Angel, you weren't raped. It was the hostage girl. You were linked to her mind and couldn't disconnect." I blinked several times while I tried to process the information.

"No, no… I felt it! I fought them," I looked at him while my clouded mind feverishly sped trying to catch up with the happenings. Agony shook his head. "You fought me and Rev. First, I tried to hold you down on my own; but Rev had to come and help. You went berserk on us; kicking, thrashing and biting."

I looked at his wrists and sure enough the left one was chewed raw with a blood soaked bandaged covering the wound. I knew I had felt the penetration and the unmistakable sensation of blood running down my legs. Looking at my cargoes they sure enough were drenched. Confused, my eyes found Agony's.

"You wet yourself," he signed and lovingly caressed my face. "No worries, It was your body's reaction to the stress." I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut. God, it had been so real. My crotch and ass were burning with pain. Angrily wiping away the tears that sprung free from the corners of my eyes, I took some deep cleansing breaths. I wanted to be home with Bobby holding me gently in his arms as the breath from his whispered words of love caressed my skin.

_What happened to the girl?_ I looked back at him. Agony took a shuddering breath. "She screamed cushioning our noises. Otherwise, we would have been discovered. After they'd finished brutalizing her, the girl's half unconscious body was dragged upward, probably towards the scarp face they pushed the other hostages over. We didn't linger. As soon as Rev had tended to my wrist, I picked you up and we hurried off."

I nodded and closed my eyes to send a prayer skyward for the girl hoping her death would come fast and without further pain and anguish. The air around me was saturated with Agony and Rev's suffering. It was against their nature not to help the weaker and helpless. Turning away and going off without taking care of those two bastards agonized them.

_You couldn't do anything for her_, I sent to them both and found Agony's hand, intertwining our fingers. _Any interaction with Escobar's men would have endangered our mission, most probably killed us. Remember what is waiting for us home – the safety, the friendship and love, a place where we belong and are missed – and then let's__ ensure Escobar a__nd his men rot in hell for what they did to this girl and all those other innocents._

* * *

**Cedar Creek, Bobby's POV**

The blinds were down, shutting out the hot afternoon sun, dipping the room into cheerful yellow and cream hues. Rubén was sitting on a stool in the small en-suite bathroom while I toweled his hair dry. Around lunch time they came to remove the catheter and feeding tube. He was mobile and yearned for a shower; but couldn't manage on his own. With a smile, I removed our clothes and gently guided him under the warm spray. There had been nothing sexual about the act of us naked together in the shower. Just a deep, devoted love as I carefully washed his hair, soaped his body up with rich foamy suds and rinsed the grim of the last three months away.

"You look like one of those California surfer boyz," I smiling bent over and pressed a kiss on his damp outgrown, unruly hair. "You think you can stand up at the sink while I shave you all baby-smooth and kissable?"

Throwing the towels into the hamper and quickly pulling on some boxer briefs, I gave Rubén room and time to preserve his pride and weave his way over to the sink on unsteady legs. When I saw him gripping the sink's edge for balance, I walked over and pressed myself gently into his back, pulling his naked body to my front and steadying him while I placed a row of nibbles and kisses from his neck along his shoulder. A sappy sigh escaped as I leaned my chin on his collar-bone and watched us in the mirror over the sink; his honey-colored skin in front of my chocolate one, my arms holding him tight and steady. The sight filled me with warmth and a feeling of happiness.

"I love you. Don't worry about Mom and Pop; I'll be at your side the whole time," I murmured, our eyes locked in the mirror.

After Rubén's earlier panic attack, his parents had spent time talking to Dr. Garvey about the episode before they'd explored the center and surrounding grounds. Now they were patiently waiting for word that they could come up to finally see their son.

"When things are all said and done," I started as I cautiously moved my old-fashioned straight razor over his skin, "and Esme, you and I are capable of some serious traveling, we'll take our love to all the places we've been in our life and never could hang around. Just the three of us."

A smile appeared on Rubén's lips.

"Yeah," I flashed my pearly whites back at him. "I like the idea, too. Just the three of us; no prying eyes, no stress, no responsibilities."

Twenty minutes later, I had Rubén shaved and helped him into some soft cotton shorts and a muscle shirt. He was lying on top of the covers on his bed with the head raised and pillows stuffed into his back. The change had come slowly, barely even noticeable; but sometime between our intimate togetherness in the bathroom and now, Rubén had withdrawn and become nervous to the point where he was fidgeting with the rippled hem of his shirt. As there was a soft knock at the door, a cold and sweaty hand grabbed for mine while he kept his eyes studiously down at his shirt's hem.

"It's gonna be okay, honey. I'm right by your side," I squeezed his clammy hand before calling for Mom and Pop to enter.

In the past few days, I often wondered how it would be for Lucia and Diego to see their son for the first time after believing for years that he was dead. Even wondering how I could possibly make this easier for them; but you can't plan human emotions and reactions. Sure as shit didn't foresee Rubén's response. The moment the door opened, his big body turned into stone. The grip he had on my hand became almost painful. His parents stopped just inside the door when they became aware of their son's coiled body and the hostile vibes he threw off.

"Mi hijo," Pop's voice sounded softly through the room. "Estamos aquí - mamá y papá." (My son. It's us – Mom and Pop.)

Rubén jerked, pulled over onto his side and curled up around our entwined hands, deliberately turning his back toward his parents. "Baby," my free hand stroked his face as I pushed my chair out of the way to crouch down next to his bed so our faces were level. "What's wrong?"

His breathing was deep and fierce. Faintly reminiscent of Muerte, his eyes had an emotional detachment and hard edge to them. He slowly rasped out, "They… should… go," his voice threatening and deeper than usual. "Why?" I asked him softly. "I thought you were ready and wanted to see them." The whole time my cool fingers stroked a soothing pattern on his heated skin.

Rubén locked his eyes with mine and stared at me unblinking. His hand kept up its pressure and his nostrils flared with each forceful breath. Unexpectedly, I saw an emotion flicker in his eyes. Hatred. Cold, calculating hatred. I'd almost forgotten its existence these last few weeks; but as quickly as the emotion flashed, it vanished and his eyes were back to their warm shaken brown.

"What do you fear will happen?" I tried again, ignoring what I'd just witnessed, quickly looking over to Lucia and Diego to check on them; but they stood solid at the door and waited.

"They… I…," Rubén struggled, his voice back to its male Jazz and Bourbon smoothness.

I opened the top drawer of the mobile cabinet next to the bed and pulled out the spikey massage ball. "Here, take this in your hands. Kneading it will help you to collect your thoughts."

Reluctantly, Rubén let go of my hand and started to give the ball a workout.

"They…," he started again after some five minutes. "They will leave and not come back."

"Why would they do that?" I asked him, capturing the tear in the corner of his eyes before it could spring free.

"I'm damaged," my man whispered through a clogged up throat.

"They won't," I kissed him softly. "Nobody will leave you alone. We love you, Mi Amigo. Your condition does not matter to us."

"You left."

Talk about taking a dagger to the heart. I flinched and grabbed my chest. He was right. I had left him. I was guilty of turning my back on him and now the fucking unforgivable moment of weakness finally caught up with me.

"True. I abandoned you and there's no reparation for the hurt I caused you or Esme; but now I am back and I'm getting stronger with every passing day. Think of Esme. This is her wish for you. She loves you and wants you to once again know complete happiness in your life. She believes reconnecting with your parents will help you heal and achieve what she hopes for you. Imagine a whole family to support you, to lean on when I struggle or you are pissed off with me. I know it's hard for you to trust; but please try this once. 'When you allow yourself to be loved, you're never alone again.' You'll be stuck with all of us for the rest of your life."

Rubén stayed silent as I saw his mind working. When I thought he reached a decision, the right decision, I lifted our once more entwined hands and nodded for Mom to come over. Tentatively, she walked around the bed until she stood right next to where I still crouched.

"I love you, Baby. Today and forever. I vow that I'll try to never disappoint much less hurt you again," I whispered before I kissed him tenderly, stood up and gave his hand over to his mother.

The next 90 minutes were an up and down of emotions. After a few minutes, Rubén finally looked up at his mother and the tears started to roll down Mom's face. She couldn't stop whispering words of love as she caressed his face, arms and hands; but Rubén remained tensed. His dad finally lured him out of his shell. When Pop sat down on the opposite side of the bed and the mattress dipped, my man instantly froze. Pop just waited him out until Rubén finally turned onto his back. For long minutes the two of them just gazed at each other, taking in everything. Then Pop reached over and pulled our Amigo up into his arms holding him tight for a perceived eternity. They'd always had this special bond; their relationship fortified by mastering the many obstacles and challenges life threw at them. Pop whispered into Rubén's ear and after a few minutes of this intimate exchange, I saw Rubén's body relax and he started to cry. Whatever Pop said broke the damn and I was glad. Mom went around the bed and for the longest time they both just held their son sandwiched between them, pouring all the love, support and security into him that words could never express. There wasn't much spoken on this afternoon. For the most part, caresses, touches and the occasional kiss were the base of communication and soon enough Rubén fell into an exhausted sleep.

Lucia and Diego had a hard time leaving; but they knew this was just the beginning and they'd be back the next day. We said our goodbyes, both of them hugging me tight.

I was lost in thought, softly playing on the guitar I'd brought a week ago, when there was a knock at the door.

"Hello Bobby," one of Rubén's nurses quietly came in, carrying a tray with a glass bowl of – bluck – Jell-O. "It's time for Rubén to start eating real food. Do you want me to wake and help him or do you want to take matters in your own hands?" She smiled at me.

"I'll do it, Sarah. Thank you." The nurse placed the tray on the table in the corner and flitted silently out of the room.

No way would I let anybody else disturb him let alone feed him. Feeding someone was one of the most intimate and rewarding things you could do for a person. This was our special day and I'd take care of him all by myself. I felt the familiar rush of possession and protection simmering under the surface; but this time the beast wasn't out to attack. It prowled on the inside, vigilant, in full safeguarding mode; shifting around to keep an eye on every possible threat to the man I loved.

Sitting on the foot of the bed, I gazed at Rubén's scarred face and felt a flutter deep within me. In my eyes, sleep's peacefulness amid all those horrid witnesses of the past accentuated his beauty. He was mine, as was Esme, and right now I felt more protective of my two lovers than ever before. Eying the Jell-O, I smiled, positioned the guitar back on my lap and started to softly pluck the strings. I knew exactly how I would wake my man. There was this song that perfectly captured my feelings for Esme and Rubén and as I started to sing the first verse, the corners of Rubén's mouth twitched and sleepy eyes opened, adoring me.

_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?_

_Well, I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up_

_And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find_

_'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up_

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am_

_I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up, still looking up._

_Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)  
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)  
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)  
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)_

_I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up_


	53. Chapter 53 - The Assault

**_Disclaimer: All the characters you recognize from the Stephanie Plum books belong to Janet Evanovich. The Inferna Angelus' on the other hand are solely mine as is the tiny terror tiger that rules them._**

**_A/N: I'm finally back home and will try to pick up speed. Thanks to all those who reviewed - your words helped tremendously to keep going._**

* * *

**Chapter 53 – The Assault**

**Mountain region northeast of Sardinata, Colombia**

Ten nights. Ten exhausting, nerve-wracking, fucking nights. Frustrated, Esme tightly wrapped her arms around her shivering body in an effort to protect against the chill in the early morning. She watched the parakeets joyfully jetting over the valley's treetops while the rising sun dipped golden hues onto the beauty beneath her. _Ten goddamned nights_, she clenched her jaw wishing she could join the birds in their reverie.

Behind her Esme felt Agony step out of the cave and walk over to her vantage point.

_Angelito_, he hugged her close.

_Hola mi guardian, _she let his chest absorb her weight and enjoyed the feeling of comfort coming with his strong arms._ It's time we act. __We've__ been crawling through this __god-awful, sodden __green shit__ for __ten nights __and we have nothing,_Esme thought as she breathed in the heady mix of sweat and damp soil that clung to Agony and her. The well-known aroma of high exertion without real clean-up. How often had they stunk like skunk on missions? Easier to count the times they did not.

_You are apprehensive, _Agony assessed without judgment, his chin resting on her head as they watched the birds' play in the valley.

_I'd be a bad leader if I __wasn't__. Look at them, _Esme pushed to him thinking of the Rangemen._ They say they are ready to die__; but in truth most of them accept death simply as a mere possibility. They do__n't embrace the Grim Reaper like we do and __that makes this whole shit-storm of an operation difficult.__ With us, our safe return comes second – I can fully focus on an optimum assault. I can't __think that same way during this fucking abomination because __**THEIR**__ lives are equally at stake. I could never live with__ the foul taste of __having __knowingly__ led them into a killing field blindly. __I'd prefer to have a more precise outlay of the situation within the mine so I could match the guys better than I can do it now. We don't even know for sure how many of Escobar's men we are facing._

_Furor said they've done well so far, _Agony rubbed Esme's arms spreading warmth in her chilly body.

_I agree and they have my unconditional trust; but I'm also responsible for the__m.__ I have a bad feeling about what's lying ahead of us. Someho__w,__ I have to find a way to lead an ideal attack while keeping the Rangemen as safe as possible so they won't return to Trenton as corpses._

**_An hour later…_**

It was still early in the morning and the sun was comfortably warm, herald of the heat to come. The Rangemen and IAs sprawled outside the cave, soaking up the warmth, when Esme, Furor, Lester and Ram stepped out of the cave's dark mouth and into their midst.

_Gentlemen,_ Esme ordered their rapt attention.

_I am proud of you.__The last ten nights__ you did great__ scouting out the enemy; but now it's time we kick some serious ass. MO is a simultaneous aggressive assault from all sides. Tonight, we'll move along the range to the opposite side of the valley and approach our target from above. The final aggression will happen in the early morning hours before dawn. _

_Our points of entry are as follows:__Two main entries with torches and guards, two smaller side entries that are overgrown and well hidden behind some brush and two ventilation shafts._

_Furor, Cal, Zero, Knock; you take the main __entry to the left__. Rage, V, Woody, Scotch; you get the lower rig__ht._

_Les, Button, Vince; the side entry on the far west. Ram, CP, Scar; the one hidden behind those boulders and fern in the east._

_Agony, Rev and I will take care of the ventilation shafts. They are very small; but I'm just tiny enough __for__ the guys to rappel me down._

_Depending upon what I find there, I'll assault them from that point while Agony and Rev come in behind Furor and his team with the explosives as soon as the way is cleared._

_Cal, Agony; you __are our EODs and responsible for the BOOM__. I know you__ put a lot of thought into the finer art of __your__ assignmen__t and__ I trust __you__ to keep us as safe as possible in__ terms of potential__ drug exposure.I want the earth __to __shake when you hit your buttons._

_Rage, Ram, Vince,__ Scar; you__ are the spea__rheads __on our retreat. You'll go ahead and have our backs while we handle the hostages. __Les, Woody, Zero, Knock and Scotch, in case of a foreign assault, you'll __back them up. The medics __will stay w__ith the hostages at all times, except for __assessing__ injuries in our own ranks. Agony__ and Cal, __check in with me to coordinate our retreat and your blast. I don't want anyone__ getting __barbequed__._

_There's no sure __account;__ but I expect the number of the enemy to be in the sixties. __Gentlemen, let me remind you that we are se__venteen. We can't risk to be overpowered__ … __our aim is to kill – fas__t and noiseless for __as long as possible. The more Guerrillas are down before they realize what happens__;__ the better our chanc__es__ for survival._

_Once we are on our way back, we'll lead the hosta__ges o__ver this cavern to the other side of this mountain and our former LZ.__ We'll have to decide__ at that time whom to accompany to Cúcuta and whom to take with us. The IAs will bring those capable of living on their own to Cúcuta. The Rangemen plus those hostages too disabled to get along alone will beat ass outta here. Two Pave Hawks are available on call coming in from Venezuela._

_Any questions?_

* * *

**National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, Fairfax, Virginia**

It was six A.M. when Darnell Terrell leisurely walked along the floors of his dominion. Myriads of humming monitors and clicking keyboards echoed through the otherwise quiet high security department. His expert analysts diligently worked as he ambled toward Marvey Wayne's office. Over the last two months NISE had monitored the man closely; but though being friends with the Inferna Angelus' A-team he didn't seem to be too closely involved with them. Wayne had refused his offer for promotion; but the reasoning was believable and Terrell finally decided to let the man off the hook. After all, he was the best analyst the NGA had.

"Good morning, Mr. Wayne," Terrell greeted Marv with his usual soft voice.

"Mr. Terrell," Marvey looked at his supervisor and nodded a greeting before turning back to the huge plasma screens mounted on the wall in front of him.

"How is the situation in Kunduz playing out?" Marvey pressed a few keys and then used his mouse to zoom in on some cloaked figures moving across the screen.

"This is our Delta Force unit. They made good progress last night." Marvey clicked some more and on a second screen an image of a different landscape recorded with infrared technology came into view. "These were supposed Taliban apparently on their way into Kunduz," he pointed at some moving heat sources. "Around midnight, I piloted our men around them at a safe distance."

A beeping noise had Marvey clicking some keys and adjusting his headset readying himself for the incoming call. While speaking, he saved the actual SAT image marking the time along with the longitude and latitude coordinates before turning to fully face Terrell.

"That was the team's CO. They found a hideout for the day and will come back online 2200 hours their time," he reported and calmly waited for a response.

The last few weeks had been the hardest of his life and he sure as hell didn't feel like James Bond anymore. His former carefree lifestyle full of freedoms and liberties had transformed into a rigorous schedule of pretenses, evasive maneuvers and check-ins with his bodyguards. He no longer trusted anyone and felt as though he was on the verge of becoming seriously paranoid. Scratch that, he **was** paranoid! Period, end of discussion. Planting a whole lot of curiosity onto his face, he waited for Terrell to make the next move in their cat and mouse game.

"I have a special assignment for you, Marvey," Terrell started with a benign smile as he propped his hip against Marv's desk.

Behind the kind surface of his eyes, Marvey could sense the cold calculation and furtiveness.

"An operative appears to have gotten 'lost' on his way back from an assignment. We have reason to believe that he's about to sell some sensitive information to the enemy. The NCIS asked for our support. Here is his GPS code. I want you to find him – no matter where he's hiding."

Marvey accepted the slip of paper with the handwritten mix of numbers and letters and turned back to his keyboard.

"He's not on the North American continent," he said after a while without turning around. Behind him Terrell froze for a second.

"Try South America," he ordered in a glacial tone.

It was a matter of ten minutes before the corresponding Satellite found the transponder signal in the mountain region north-east of Sardinata, near Cúcuta, Colombia.

Marvey's heart plummeted down into his gut churning his intestines as he felt dizziness taking over. The high definition screen in front of him displayed the exact valley he had continuously surveyed for Esme. From behind him, Terrell stared stunned at the screen his mouth slightly ajar. A returning blip, strong and regular as a heart-beat, confirmed that the Rangemen along with the IAs had long been parked in Colombia and were head-on in the right valley.

"Get us closer," Terrell's bitterly sharp command shook Marv out of his state.

As he maxed out the technology's possibilities and zoomed in on the GPS signal, the shapes of ten men could be seen sprawling on the huge ledge of a rock. Marvey kept his face emotionless as he recognized Rage, Rev and Esme's friend Lester. He needed to get away from here and somehow warn them, he thought, as his hand surreptitiously edged toward the panic button in his jeans pocket to alarm his guards.

* * *

**University Medical Center of Princeton, New Jersey, ****D****etox ****U****nit**

"Screw it. Nothing will ever be good again. I'm done with life… work… friends… family." Ranger murmured with an indifferent and tired voice.

"No, you are not," the huge black man sitting at his bedside answered firmly. "That there is the depression talking. Not you, my Brother."

Silence.

"Carlos?" Tank was sitting next to his friend watching him with understanding eyes; but Ranger wouldn't budge.

Tank knew Depression was like a Dyson, sucking the vitality right out of a person. Although his life was still worth living and he had a future to work for, Ranger's disease just wouldn't allow him to see the positives. He just lay there motionless with distraught, vacant eyes and allowed the minutes to pass aimlessly. Even Tank's cell going off had no effect on his statuesque posture.

"Talk."

"This is Marvey Wayne with the NGA. I'm a close friend of Esme. Before she left she gave me your cell number for emergencies."

Tank knew very well who the man on the other end was; but didn't see a reason to acknowledge him.

"Anyway," Marvey continued into the stretching silence. "I just found out one of your men must be carrying a GPS transmitter. My boss, Darnell Terrell, now knows that they are in Colombia. You need to warn them. I don't know what Esme told you; but she and the men are in mortal danger."

* * *

**Mountain region northeast of Sardinata, Colombia**

The following day about two hours before dawn, the Rangemen and IAs were in position and ready for their ambush.

_Furor, you got the two guards at the entrance__ a__nd I sense four more a short way into the mine; but I can't tell what they are doing. Rage, your team's also facing two right off the bat. Can't tell ya anything else. Lester, Ram, I can't sense anything regarding your entry points. The __fucking__ rock is doing a number on my senses, so be prepared. You all know the procedure. Everybody ready?_

_Roger that,_ came from the four team leaders.

_On my command. Three, two, one, go go go._

T nodded at Agony and Rev before ducking head first into the ventilation shaft. The rope her harness was attached to became taut as soon as she was a body length into the shaft. The minds of the rest of the team suddenly vanished from her radar leaving Agony and Rev's thoughts as the only ones left invading her mind. This was a complication she hadn't anticipated since her scanner worked just fine within any other kind of building. And wasn't that the main theme of this mission - one fucked up sitch after another? Inch by inch she quickly glided further into the earth until a horrible stench caused her to blanch and bile rose from her stomach.

_Slowly now,_ she pushed up to Agony and Rev whose presence became more and more faint.

A few more yards into the shaft a low light became visible.

_I see a light, about four yards down._

Agony and Rev measured the rope accordingly and lowered her slowly toward the assumed end of the shaft. About twenty beaten and bloodied hostages barely clothed in rags cowered in a corner of a cave. The sickening smell of their excrement wafted from the opposite side of their huddle. T looked around for guards; but found only the hostages imprisoned by iron bars set into the mound of the cave.

_Pull me back up,_ she pushed forcefully toward Agony and Rev at the end of the rope.

_Hostages. Twenty of them, _she inhaled a lung full of fresh air then took a strong pull from the water bottle Rev had handed her. _None of them realized I was there so I'm not sure about their state of awareness or their disabilities. No guards; but a set of sturdy iron bars. How are the others faring?_

_Rage and his team stumbled over a cavern used for sleeping,_ Agony told her._ Twenty men are in there. They are waiting for wor__d on ho__w to proceed. Once they attack, our cover will be blown._

_Ra__ge's team__ can't risk having that many men __at __their backs,_ T took another swig of water trying to quell the still lingering stench burning in her throat.

_Tell them to hold position until we know what's at the end of the other shaft,_ she pushed, taking a last gulp of water. T_he o__ther teams?_

_Silently working their way into the cave-system. Fourteen men down altogether,_ Rev answered.

Fifteen minutes later, T hung headfirst over the opening to another cave and couldn't believe her eyes. Jackpot! A high tech lab with ten men scurrying about like little white ants shifting between aisles and busying themselves with whatever devil's henchmen do in their drug laboratories.

_Holy Shit! I'm right over the lab. Ten men,_ she laughed sardonically pushing her thoughts to the guys at the end of the rope. Pulling one of her Glocks from its holster and screwing on the matching silencer, _Tell Rage to assault at his discretion. The others__ should __prepare for things to __get messy__. No survivors. On my command, let me two feet down so my arms are free and I will take care of these lab rats._

The hits were fast and clean. Ten rounds for ten drug cooking bastards not worth breathing. None of them had a chance as T, hanging head first from the ceiling, eliminated them in the blink of an eye. Reluctantly, Agony and Rev lowered her down completely then watched as the rope fell silent to her feet. Their place has always been right at T's side; but now for the first time in their history, she had sent them on their own mission. She forced them to leave her behind, alone. With clenched jaws, they picked up their backpacks full of explosives and started after Furor and his team.

Meanwhile, T crouched motionless on the floor of the lab silently reaching out with her mind. Nobody nearby seemed to have heard the soft pops left by the Glock's silencer. Slowly rising, she took a look around the cave. Everything was top notch and in the middle of the ceiling was another small shaft with what looked like the piping for an air conditioning system. The tubing ran across the ceiling and vanished through a hole in one of the side walls.

Cautiously, T crept her way over to the opening. The closer she came to the opening the more detailed became the human outlay of the huge cavern it led to. She counted twenty men assembling and piling boxes full of what she assumed were the drugs. T narrowed her eyes after quickly entering the small tunnel and peeping into the cavern. From her entry point above the cave, she could see each of the present men below. They were packing serious heat and were scattered over a space of 20 x 40 yards. On the opposite side from her was a huge mouth fit for forklift trucks. Fuck. She was cornered. Her Glocks held seventeen rounds each; but even with both babies in action she wouldn't be able to down all twenty men at once. The Glock's range was limited and the silencer added to the inaccuracy. In addition, even with the silencers on, the men would be warned and return fire, alarming others. Smoke and Flash Bang grenades were out since she didn't know the sensitivity of the drugs. Retreating from her post, T crept back into the lab.

As soon as she was out, her back hit the wall and she let herself slide down into a sitting position. Tense, she threw out the invisible net of her mind. Nothing, not a single blip. What a fucked up sitch. Taking a deep breath she collected her thoughts and checked her options. The lighting! Looking up she saw cords running from a huge fuse box. One of the switches was marked storage. Perfect. T calmly loaded her guns and several extra magazines. Putting a silencer on the second Glock and then grabbing her night-vision goggles, she took a few cleansing breaths before she cut the power supply to the storage cave. The response was immediate. In a flash she had herself positioned at the mouth of the tunnel and started to take out the Guerrillas below her. She'd just snuffed the life out of the twelfth man, when the first rounds hit the rock next to her head. Hurling herself away from a hailstorm of bullets, she banged against the steel banister of the platform where she had squatted. Adrenalin was racing through the highway of her veins as she held her breath, aimed and downed three more of the enemies. Five left. A pain ripped through her right upper arm, leaving a trail of fire behind. Changing her gun to the left hand she nailed the shooter with two rounds. The empty Glock went back into its holster the same moment she pulled the second out. Her right arm was throbbing with a soul searing pain. Thank god Rev had made sure she was equally proficient with both hands.

Bullets flew around her in a never-ending volley, aiming for what little muzzle flash was still visible despite the silencers. Pressed tight against the steel grate of the platform, T crawled towards the steep stairs and slid down face first. She needed to get on floor level and meet the bastards face-to-face otherwise she'd end up as a sieve. Fast and sufficiently she sucked the lives out of the remaining men, her night goggles giving her the deciding advantage. As she turned the corner of a pallet, she came face to face with the last survivor, his gun raised at her point blank.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing  
**_


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